LIFE ADVICE FOR SCENE KIDS AND METAL NERDS
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- Some of my personal life advice for scene kids, metal nerds and pop-punkers aka "adulting for core kids":
* Dating & relationships - why girls aren't "crazy"
* Careers - how to get the job you want
* Personal finance, 401ks, investing, etc
* Why you may need to chill on going too far with your hobbies
* Josh’s book: www.amazon.com/Strategic-Mone...
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▶ PATREON: / thepunkrockmba
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0:00 Intro
1:00 Relationship advice
4:42 It takes two!
5:41 Drop the negativity and entitlement
9:02 Career advice
11:20 Money & personal finance
13:43 The role of hobbies - Розваги
Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/finnmckenty
i didn't know your mother passed away.. Was this when you were young?
Hey Finn, I have a long list of bands that might be fun to talk about in future BTSBB videos,
please consider going through the list.
Good Tiger
The Bled
Glassjaw
letlive
Armor For Sleep
Alexisonfire
Funeral For A Friend
Fightstar
Cartel
The Receiving End of Sirens
A Lot Like Birds
I The Mighty
Envy On The Coast
Eidola
Night Verses
Being As An Ocean
The Sleeping
Closure In Moscow
Too Close To Touch
Anyway, MTV got a copyright complaint about the heartagram on the doors of Castle Bam. This delayed production until the edjit's realized that a verbal contract is law. Back to drinking! Trap Door Skateboards! 🍺🤴👍
Hey. It's not "hetero normative". It's just normal. Butt sex is not normal.
Well I am not 15.
But these advices as a 21 year old are starting to make a little bit of sense.
I'm about to turn 24. My life started to change when I realized mediocre people were getting ahead because they weren't afraid of just doing things, while I kept waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect mood.
Massive fucking key right there, Taking the risk and go for what it is you want. You may not succeed every time, but you'll have more fun along the way and have more successes than if you just do nothing.
Fortune favors the bold
This is so true. As lame as it sounds just do it. Even massive, painful failure is just a learning opportunity. There’s nothing to fear.
Oof yeah
This is so relatable to me.
It's the "too dumb to quit" theory. The kinds of people you are talking about just go for it because they aren't really self aware enough to have any doubts about their success. So by default they are getting ahead just by stacking wins over time, even if they screw up and have to make a change in direction.
the secret for a good and healthy relationship is not liking the same stuff, but hating the same stuff.
Yes.
This applies to housemates too!! Live with that person who also hates dishes in the sink for days (just an example), even if they aren’t into the same music or tv shows. 👍
Mutual hatred is what bonds people in any type of relationship.
Finn is like that cool uncle that everyone needs in their life
The cool uncle who you can treat like your cousin lol
I'm also that uncle
I can do nothing but agree
Meh... I love this content for the most part and I watch most of his videos but as far as his personality goes he just oozes beta male energy. I mean he was just talking about how he was having panic attacks by just having a conversation with his dad when he was a kid. I mean if that doesn't sound like some bitch made ass shit, then I don't know what does. I have never in my entire life ever had a panic attack for anything, and I've definitely been in some situations that you could say warranted a panic attack. But if you can't have a conversation with words without freaking the fuck out and losing your breath, then you're probably kind of a bitch.
but that being said, I still think he's a good dude and I still subscribe to all of his content because he has a unique perspective on things that a lot of people don't have. And for all the shit talking I was just doing about him, his videos do promote good ideas about working hard and building your brand so that you can be successful and he is also willing to lend a hand and reach out and help those around him who want to help themselves. That's admirable and he's got my sub all day for that shit!
@@mobidkillerx You or I never having had panic attacks means nothing. I've never had ptsd either but that shit clearly happens to some people in certain situations and it has nothing to do with alpha/beta/gamma/pi/whatever. If alpha is supposed to stand for powerful & beta is supposed to stand for subservient, there nothing subservient about removing people from your life who are negatively impacting it. Thats a power play, "weak" wouldn't be able to do that and just continue taking shit. Idk if Finn is a strong or weak person obviously but that example you used was misplaced imo. Small but meaningful nuance
"Most people ask stupid questions on a first date like, 'What kind of music do you like,' or 'What kind of movies do you like?' Not me. I ask the important questions on a first date like, 'Will you ever yell at me in public?' I need to know this because I don't want to be in a Target getting cussed out in front of everyone, and be like, 'Guys it's OK. We both really like Chance the rapper.'" - Sam Morril (Stand up Comedian)
😂😂
Chance the Rapper?! You don't get a rose 🌹
Damn those comments break the ice, might have to do a different approach.
I get what you're saying, but you have to have "fun conversations" before you have the "serious conversations". You can't walk up to a girl and ask how many kids she wants and how many square feet she wants her first house to be. You have to start small with the little things like going to a movie or going to a concert or just drinking coffee telling dumb stories from your childhood. If you kick in the door saying "hello I would like to be a father" she's gonna run away. It's hard to explain but you just need the right balance of serious and silly.
@@jakobthonen9411 I copied this from a comedian. It's a joke.
Great video man! Especially the part about cutting people out.
Thank you!
Adulting tips for other middle aged adults: don’t dwell on past mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Elon hasn’t made a time machine yet, so spending hours thinking about what could have been is only another thing keeping you back.
Great video, gonna send it to my kids. Maybe they’ll listen to you lol
At nearly 30 I’m just starting to finally let go of past mistakes. Definitely had my share of ruined relationships and cringe moments but live and learn. Everyone’s had their fair share of them, I’m not special nor alone.
🗣
DAYS SPENT
MONTHS SPENT
YEARS SPENT
SAYING
IF, I, HAD, A TIME MACHINE
Another tip: don't look up too much to people like Elon Musk or Steve Jobs.
As you slowly introduce your wife more in your videos, at some point, she will replace you and we won't even notice.
For real! I want a halloween video where Finn's wife dresses like him and does the whole video without addressing it.
@@MegaDragon1974 Finn posted on his Instagram a picture of his wife dressing like him for Halloween
Finn: Go to a group cooking class!
Visual: Dead Child.
Lmao yeah
My wife, who ive been with since highschool, literally hates everything im into, and thats part of the glue that has held us together for 14 years haha
Here's to another 14 🍻
Hahaha I just got married two weeks ago and my wife is the same way. Haaaates metal, won't even look at some of my more grotesque band shirts, won't be in the same room if anything remotely horror is on... Thanks for reassuring me that our differences will be the glue in this marriage 😂😂
@@metalxhead Why do you get married to someone who has not at least one thing in common with you? I'm just curious..not at all trying to be mean so forgive me. Was it natural for you to just like them regardless of what they liked?
@@thelastdaybreathinginetern1385 sometimes the attraction is just that strong I guess
@@thelastdaybreathinginetern1385 No worries, the internet could use more open-minded inquiry rather than hateful debate, so thank you for asking. :) We have plenty of things in common. We're both editors, we like reading, we appreciate art and painting to different degrees, etc. My wife and I like different things, but our personalities fit together really well. I would rather watch horror movies and science UA-cam channels while she would rather bake and watch chick flicks or go for a walk, but the activity isn't as important as how we interact. We take care of each other on bad days and make each other laugh on good days (and the other way around). Plus, having very different interests means exposing each other to things we never would have experienced on our own, so we grow as people by understanding the other person's world. Hopefully this kind of answers your question. :)
I just turned 29 and I already feel a lot of this rings true for the mistakes I made four or five years ago. Quality stuff as always
I’m 32 and some of these life lessons still haven’t hit. I didn’t think this video would be so insightful but really this kind of plain advice is something everybody needs, it’s just hard to actually implement with all the background noise.
I feel like it will happen again in a few years and again. It’s a constant learning experience. It’s the difference between aging and growing up.
Another 29 person! What's good!
Same here
I’ve been wanting to invest my money into stocks just never knew to go along on doing that and this video was super helpful, I’m turning 29 but still enjoy jumping into the pit then regretting it haha
The entitlement is spot on. When I realized nobody cares and the world owes you nothing I started moving up
Wypipo really believe this shit^^^
Absolutely. I figured that out and started to get stingy with my time, energy, and money. I lost a few fake friends, cut out some toxic family members, and I quit giving af about any of my personal social media pages.
I'm actually finding nothing interesting in this, other than opposition
Only thing I would add is enjoy being young. I spent a lot of time beating myself up because I didn't have the killer job right out of school. It's totally fine to not know where you're headed in your early 20s; in fact, it's healthy! Take a breath and enjoy right now -- the future will be here fast enough. Awesome content per the usual, Finn!
Very normal! Don’t beat yourself up, just keep grinding
I answered one ad on Craigslist and talked to another network technician at the first site and my business snowballed from there. This year is my 10th year at being self-employed, own a home, with a beautiful nerd and three kids by my side 😉 Stay positive
I needed this in my 20’s, dude this is getting to Jorden Peterson territory. 100% agree with you
This should be required viewing for about 80% of people that I know ages 30-40.
Someone might need to hear it.
“I know what you're thinking... you'll never find another
And even if you did, well, you couldn't love her
But out there somewhere is the person, place or thing
That you need to make you believe in you”
Descendants - pep talk
Fuck yeah, I thought I wasn't ever gonna find someone else, but we stumbled onto each other in a college hallway and confused each other for different people. And right now it's the best time with her. You find them when you arent even looking, keep your head up sad bois! Keep pushing!
Best breakup song ever.
"Let's watch this Jason Stathom movie where he drives fast and punches a guy" this is also my favorite movie.
Really though, what you said about relatively is spot on. My wife and I hardly have anything in common when it comes to taste, whether music, food or movies, but our behavior and personalities are crazy similar and we both do well with communication, that's really what you need for it to succeed.
I think communication is the biggest thing. When you find someone you can have real talks and chemistry with, that is stronger than the genres of music or movies you like. I've been with the same girl for 3 years (I know, not a super long time) and she haaaaaaates metal and action movies. But we communicate. We "vibe" as the kids might say these days. If you had told me 3 years ago, after the first time we slept together, that I would still be with her in October 2020, I would have laughed. Here we are.
Right? I don't think i've ever dated a girl that likes exactly what i do. It's all about being compatible and having communication.
My wife wasn't into metal and punk when I met her, at the most she was into butt-rock. But I slowly turned her to the dark side and now she's into exactly the same bands I am 😁
Congrats.
I have been one of those people that has been in a shitty mood all the time for the last 5 years. I have hated everything about my life even though i am successful and travel to metal festivals all over the world. But while i was in quarantine for 3 months during the pandemic going on something changed. I felt happy. I wasn't doing anything, i was finally getting rest, i didn't even care that i was single, i just felt great. Turns out my problem was i really hate my job. I went from working 72 hours a week to 0. That is what i needed. It just sucks that my job pays good and gives more vacation time than any company i can think of. I am going to have 6 and a half weeks of vacation next year.
Serious side note, when dealing with toxic people who may not realize their being toxic. I find its best to sometime call out what's bothering me about what their doing, sometimes it devolves at first but I cant think of a time where it hasnt ended better. Sometimes people dont realize their doing shit 💯💯
I really appreciate this comment. I have BPD and it makes it really hard for me to gadge if what I'm doing is normal and rational a lot of the time. And sometimes I need people to point it out to me so I can attempt to change that behavior.
@@dead_beatbunny understandable and sometime people just get in to bad habits and not realize, I think being real can be the hardest thing but in the end you grow and it gives someone else the opportunity to do the same 💯💯💯
Don’t ever cut yourself short. Throughout college I missed so many shows I really wanted to go to even though I worked my ass off all week.
It’s one thing when things are going badly, and you need to batten down the hatches, it’s another when you miss out on life because you’re worried you’ll fail some unspoken duty to your family or friends, or because you’re afraid you’ll fuck up some unknown thing down the line.
Ironically I had a harder time doing well in school and looking for a job/internship because I was trying too hard. I literally would burn myself out to a point of underperformance, and the family/friends I would not go to shows for literally ended up not giving a shit and just hurted me personally.
There's definitely a balance to be had. Too much fun and not enough fun are both not great.
So true, thank you, I can totally relate, although I tried my damndest to go arrange everything, so I'll rock out in the mosh it.
100 hours? Those are rookie numbers, gotta pump those numbers up
EXCELLENT ADVICE! Old punk guy here and I've made my slew of mistakes. If I could go back and do it again I would drink less, smoke less, and never do cocaine becasue its a hell of a drug. I'm clean now but I wasted so many years basking in drunkenness and this sort of fixation with my decadent drug addled crust punk lifestyle. I wish I would've gone to college earlier overseas and discovered traveling earlier. I made a lot of mistakes. Don't let partying define your life, get out into the world, learn a trade if you can't go to college for something your passionate about. Just take out loans or get grants for a trade school. Your job will pay it off later. I haven't had one friend go to school for electrical that doesn't own their own house today making 6 figures a year. Join a union, become a journeyman. American politics are mostly irrelevant to the rest of the world. Don't assume you know better than someone because you are an American. The world and societies operate differently than they do in the US. Always assume you don't know shit about anything. Listen, learn, be humble, and spread love and kindness. Explore the world and don't litter.
Dude, great advice on getting a career and not letting partying get in the way of it! I am living proof of your example. I'm 42 (old punk) started as a shop hand (sweeping floors and making deliveries) at 16 for an electrical contractor, got into a union electrical apprenticeship, became a journeyman, now I'm sitting at my office job in the business side of things. I didn't sell out, I still partied (maybe not as hard as others) but I didn't let it get in my way; work was always more important because it's what allowed me to afford the other things I wanted to do. I don't have a degree, I also never had student debt but I have a job that everyone assumes I have a degree for. I'm a freaking vocational school kid. Also funny story, my boss got into the union electrical apprenticeship too because he couldn't make it as a pro skater haha. Now he runs a +$50 million a year company. It's all about taking care of your business right in front of you. When you do that, it opens up opportunities.
AWw man, wonderfly put. Universe bless ya!
Good advice man
Old punk guy to another, thanks for dropping some truth. It's good to be in a place where you've actually learned from mistakes, and could move forward, and upward from them. Keep on, keeping on, brother.
I’m just a 17 year old kid but I’m loving these comments and this video. Normally I’m kind of nervous about aging because I don’t feel confident in my ability to be independent. But this stuff inspires me.
Dude, yes to all of this! I'd love to back to high school and shake the shit out of myself. Sadly, pop punk told me that it wasn't my repellent attitude and total lack of social grace that prevented girls from liking me, rather, it was the girls who refused to see beyond my dirty hoodie and lack of anything to offer who were wrong! I also wish I would have hung out with more positive and ambitious people in my twenties rather than dudes like me who would joke about our sad lot in life that we were totally capable of changing but simply wouldn't because trying was hard (and lame). And schools should absolutely talk about financial management and job networking. It's a disservice that they don't.
" If all the women are rejecting you, the problem is not all the women"
wish i realized the relationship advice sooner - took me a while to realize i didn't actually like the people into the same music as me on a personal level
"Drop the negativity and entitlement" Holy shit, did you knock that one out of the park.
"Drop the negativity and entitlement" is Finn McKenty's version of Jordan B. Peterson's "Clean your room, Bucko". He says it in nearly every video he makes.
100%
“They may be your family members, but you don’t owe them anything” Thanks Fin I needed to hear that
As a 35 year old IMO this is literally one of the best "Life Advice" type videos I have seen. Maybe not the highest production value but definitely the best advice presented in the most accessible manner.
Here's mine: if you were hurt in the past, never expect people to go soft on you in the present because that won't happen. Build up a personality that stands out by avoiding toxic behavior that spreads through peer pressure. You're already an outsider, so it should be easier than for those who are deeply involved in group dynamics. Never ever try to fit it by adopting toxic, self-harming behavior, even if it seems to give you an opening. People will possibly oppose you first but later, they'll look up to you, when they get stuck and you actually advanced. I wish I had known that when I was 25 and not 55. Oh, and never think it's too late to make positive changes. 👍
Probably goes without saying, but don't abuse drugs and alcohol. I ended up wasting a good chunk of my 20s due to substances. They also contributed to a crippling injury I sustained. It's easier to try to get sober and get your shit together when you're 29 when you're not handicapped due in part to your own poor decisions.
Probably file that under hobbies...
what mg you at?
open.spotify.com/album/0edXLDH6XYJV74C4DXCOaJ
I'm so sorry to hear that. My cousin (now in his 40s) is in the same boat. During a college party where he was drunk (and likely high also) he decided to climb a tree, and feel out of it breaking his spine. He's paralyzed from the waist down. The road I tough, but things do get better. I know one of the keys can be figuring out (new) hobbies you enjoy (especially if you're into the outdoors, he took up boating and working on engines since he can no longer skate board).
Can confirm, I just finished a program to get over my alcoholism, they told me getting into it at 25 is way better than 45. To go with that, if you are abusing substances, it’s okay to admit it and ask for help.
*laughs in 500+ hours in skyrim since like 2012
Light work
Casul.
I'm over that and haven't even beat the main quest🤣🤣
*laughs in 2000 hours. -Stay awhile and listen
500 hours in 8 years? Those are rookie numbers
Talked once to a girl who wore a Death in June t-shirt. And she was like "oh, is it a band ?". True story 😊
Probably got the shirt from her bf
Or Forever21
Me and my friends used to always quiz rando's who wore band shirts and looked out of place. We never were mean but we did tease them, but pointed them to the music when they didn't know the band.
ua-cam.com/video/-aQZ4PSVEW4/v-deo.html
Love your Channel. I got hopelessly addicted to heroin being in the Philly/NYC punk scene in the 90s all the way up until 5 years ago. Yeah it was hard to stop. But I just cut the people, places and things out and it made it easier.
And magically.....things have been getting infinitely easier since then. I have a good paying job, that is pretty fun and affords me all the things I lost due to addiction.
Loved the video Finn. Made my day.
Your surroundings are so important!
No, Finn, don't tell me what to do, you boomer. *2008 scene kid in me intensifies*
Lol
You like ABR ? Can we be friends bro ?
@@snakesghost7817 No, I LOVE lol.
He’s Gen X, not a Boomer :P
@@yanderevenom9793 So a xoomer?
I’m working at a Spirit Halloween in an old Sears, so my new thing is to watch Finn while I’m in the mall food court for lunch, straight across from the Hot Topic.
I agree with everything (been there, done the same as you)... except all the hobby stuff. Idk man if you are really happy with your hobbies, I don't understand why you have to do other stuff. Why learning some skill would make your life better if you have a decent job and a fullfilled life?
Why you have to be busy all the fucking time, thinking about money and jobs? I don't think that's healthy, you'll get anxious about not being good enough.
Be happy, do stuff you like but don't forget to keep your needs covered (health, family, friends, income).
I wish these videos got the same kind of attention as "most hated bands", for instance. I'm about to turn 21, and hearing these things from someone with a similar background is really refreshing. You have a way of keeping it real in a way that emphasizes the importance of your points, but also doesn't make me feel overwhelmed and terrified of the future. Thank you so much for this, this is why you're my favorite channel. :)
In my early thirties and had my shit together since 17 due to a crazy family life.
In contrast to Finn, I would like to say that no matter what you do you can regret it. Since my 20s I have had decent career, and an amazing wife.
On the other side of the good I almost lost and organ, lost my dad at 20, grandparents soon after, and in my early 30, my mom is currently passing of cancer.
Take care of yourself mentally and physically, be understanding of yourself during your pothole periods because they last longer if your don’t slow down to take care of yourself, and lastly despite what Finn said I have never gotten a job by knowing someone. But it did take a lot of interviews and every job I had was more about building my career then making the employer money.
Lastly don’t stress about too much, anxiety disorder can develop and they are a pain. My dad had a retirement account, invested, had a good job, kept things up with his family. He died at 42 penniless due to depression and addiction he devoloped due to the physical toll of being a firefighter.
I think I'm only like 5 years younger than you, but I still need this advice. I'm still growing up. It's fun.
One of the positives of living in Europe: most bands from the U.S only tour here once per album cycle, so you can't waste all your money on concerts 😂
I honestly don't even really go to shows anymore (though covid has made me kind of miss it, and I've made it a priority to see Polyphia and Jinjer next time they come around). As I get older, I prefer to hang out in settings where I can actually talk with my friends and not pay $9 or whatever for a beer. The bar jukebox has become the new concert. Though that comes with its own rules. Unless you're in like a "metal" bar (you know, the ones with stickers all over the walls, band posters, and a gross bathroom), don't fucking play metal on the jukebox. Or EDM. Stick to power ballads, Sublime, Elton John, and rap from before 2010. Or really just any popular music from the 90's.
In my country, the only band I would really like to see that came here is Deftones, and I couldn't go see them, my favorite metalcore and post hardcore bands never come here 💔
If you don’t like the same music, it’s good if you at least support each other’s taste. Try to figure out what they see in that music, go with them to their concerts and vice versa, etc
“Spend a little less on weed”
I know I know 😭😭
And I’ve started too
2 months ago I was spending $400 a Fortnight (2 weeks) on weed
I’m now only spending $50 and the High I do get is so worth it, a high unobtainable when I was smoking $200 a week.
My mood is starting to change
I’m more motivated
I have a LOT more spending money every fortnight
I have an Okay paying job, I live in Australia so wages are decent. Last fortnight I kept 50% of my pay check after Rent, Bills and food and I haven’t had that kind of money in a long time.
I would like to invest, but there’s still some things I need to do before I start ‘gambling’.
I don’t always agree with everything you say, but you say it how you see it and I respect that, also this video just hit home 😅
28 year old hardcore/metalcore ‘kid’ that still listens to the same shit, does the same shit. But I’m ready to change that.. I’ve earnt Hundreds of Thousands of dollars in my 13 year working career and I don’t have a Real thing to show for it.
Definitely a case of Live and Learn, just wish it came a little sooner
Videos like this from your channel have been a bit of inspiration so thank you for that Finn
Bobby Boucher I used to be a heavy drinker in my early 20s but switched to weed in my mid 20s. Basically cut it down to a few times a month since my job makes me be there early. At most I’m only spending $50 a month. Keep it up dude, baby steps!
I’d say to keep playing sports to stay in better shape longer. I should’ve put more of my bonus checks in savings or my 401k
You know those moments in life when you go “man I really needed to hear that”? This was it for me. Thanks for dropping some truth, Finn.
The hobby one really hit home. Especially the FFT tactics thing lol
People should hear these things as early as possible. Your teens and 20's fly by in a flash and if you aren't careful, some rather toxic seeds can be planted whether you realize it or not.
Obviously you cant fix the issues in a day but being aware of them is a big step in the right direction.
Everything you said is 100% accurate. I would add on stay away from alcohol or any type of drug. Definitely never drink when you are feeling down. I struggled with it for most of my early 20's. Sober now, and I'm glad I stopped before it got any worse. You never know how easy it is to get addicted to something.
Also, I wish they taught me about credit scores when I was in highschool.
My life changed when I realized those around me weren't supportive of things I was pursuing and I moved on. I was in a position where It was hard but eventually I succeeded in one of the things I wanted to do career wise. Don't let people try to belittle you for what you want to do, because they don't think you have what it takes to achieve what ever it is you want.
This was so comforting to know I’m not alone with these struggles, thank you Finn!
I’m a Adult already and I’m still dealing with these problems
The last thing I want is a girl that listens to the same music as me. This relationship only needs so much trauma.
Yep listen to Finn guys, invest, invest, invest! I only learnt at 30 and boy do I wish I started earlier.
Good stuff, Finn! I'm 35, but could still use some of this information because I'm going through a divorce and haven't been in the dating game in some years..... Love yourself and someone will come along that loves you back just as much!
@ELITE haVoc 😂😂
I’m sorry to hear that, divorce is awful!
Stealing “blame thrower.”
Check out the NZ band Blamethrower. It’s a 2 piece & they’re fucking rad. blame-thrower.bandcamp.com/track/c-p-b
Entershikari lyric from a few years back
bolt thrower
"listens to dream theater, wears cargo shorts and plays kerbal space program till 3am every night" is my favorite roast of a hypothetical person so far
We're not "Metal-nerds" (even though I proudly identify a large part of my personality with the term nerd) we're METAL-HEADS!!! That having been said THANK YOU for your SUPERLATIVE advice. I was already following most of it but it's great to have it reinforced by someone I have so much respect for, and some of it was new and super helpful. Defeatist by Hatebreed is my personal anthem, but I've barely been listening to them for ages; I will TOTALLY take your advice and start spinning my HB discs again regularly, especially for the lyrics (but the music's awesome too! They're proof that modern Metal bands can still write amazing riffs, and if they can do it, it can be done).
I’m 22 and I am learning the exact stuff covered in this video more and more, but I’m thankful I’m learning it now as opposed to 10 years from now. Thanks Finn
The part about having an obsession with finding girls who likes the same music/hobbies tho. I've dated every type of girl from metalhead to normie girl, and honestly, I liked dating non-metalhead girls better. Some stereotypes exist for a reason lol.
I’m a metal nerd, I feel like I need more videos like this in my life 😫
Not sure if sarcasm. If not then go find some on youtube and subscribe!
Love the advice. As someone that hit 30 this year making a lot of mistakes along the way, a lot of this hits home. As a trained mental health professional, one thing I would add is if you have a problem with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, get help. It’s not worth it to try and man up because there is no point in being miserable. If someone has severe chest pain for a week straight, they are probably going to end up at the doctor. It’s the same thing for anxiety/depression. I wasted a good 10 years being miserable before I got help and am kicking myself for not doing it sooner. Being irresponsible is easy while being responsible is hard.
Great video. I grew up in the rave scene and this was 100% applicable to me. Also, for anyone that ends up reading this, in terms of what was spoken about in regards to being a negative person/blaming etc..., I used to do this all the time. Worked but hated it, spent my weekends spending the money I got to make myself temporarily feel better, and then was bitter when I didn't have all the things I wanted. It sounds cheesy and I'm not saying it works for everyone but I started following Gary V on social media and my life changed. I became accountable for myself. Got a great job, started writing screenplays on the side, got an agent, and for the most part just became a much better version of myself. So I recommend following him/texting him if you're in a negative space. If you think that's cheesy, that's cool, but at what point does your preconceived notions on what's cheesy and what's not trump your own potential happiness? If it works, great. If it doesn't, you tried something that took zero energy to make yourself feel better. And honestly, even that's a step in the right direction. Also that Blue hoodie is slick.
*On the pizza and diarrhea comment:* Also if you have diarrhea every day, get that checked out. You might have celiac or something, and you don't want to let intestinal problems fester.
Thanks for the info. I really need to chill in eating pizza
@@andyzuleta5344 Don't forget tacos
Holy shit. The last 4 minutes of this is insane and hit so hard.
Really? You must be 18?
None of that was harsh...
Hit me hard. It made a lot of sense. I did a lot of the same things and looking back I could easily relate. Not harsh.
Your comments on relationships are so spot on. People cannot save or fix others- we have to do it ourselves, as you said. Furthermore, the things you said about the whole "all girls are crazy" & "all guys are assholes" tropes are so damn accurate. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to scream basically your exact thoughts on this at people I see having toxic relationships over & over & over, I'd be a wealthy woman.
Wow, when you talked about finding woman at different ponds and acting like the woman you want to find, it blew my mind. It makes total sense now, but I met my wife while volunteering. Even if you are volunteering because you're trying to feel better about, or just better yourself, at the worst, the women you meet are trying to do the same, and you're not just picking up basic party chicks. I wasn't even trying to find someone while volunteering, it just happened naturally. Cheers my dude, keep up the great work!
Finn is well on his way to being the Punk Rock Jordan Peterson of helping us get our shit together
"Lose the negative attitude and entitlement, and invest in the stock market, Bucko!"
As long as he doesn’t start talking about lobster hierarchies, how religion is “realer than real,” or how lipstick triggers man’s primitive brain to get a hard-on for red fruit, I’ll keep watching.
Fuck Jordan Peterson, also.
@@leonardpriestley6822 I think Finn's version of the "lobster dominance heirarchy" is when he talks about "star power" (Hayley Williams, Travis Scott, Travis Barker, Fred Durst, Ronnie Radke, etc.) Also when he tells people not to criticize or hate on them for being successful or complain that it's not fair. The whole "*shrugs*, like it or not, that's just how it is" attitude he has in general is the music version of supporting dominance heirarchies.
@@leonardpriestley6822 I was thinking more like “clean your room. eat good food. Don’t get drunk every night”
On relationships point I generally agree with you, but one thing about music taste is that from what I have noticed, people who like music similar to what I listen to tend to have the type or personality that I get on with really well. So music taste is quite a good tool for me to judge how well I might get along with this new person I met. It's not accurate all the time, but most times it's been helpful for me. I'm not talking exclusively about romantic relationships, this can be any type of relationship. If someone listens to like techno mostly, that tells me that they probably like going to night clubs quite often. Now I don't like night clubs, that type of recreation is not for me and people who do enjoy it mostly have the personality types that I don't get along with that well. Certainly not well enough to be in a romantic relationship with that person. I hope I explained well how I use music taste to gauge how well I might get along with a person. It's not always right, but in my experience it is MOSTLY right.
True, I know if someone likes something other than radio pop then we are going to get on
Accurate. Having similar tastes in music also makes joyrides and road trips much more fun. Nothing sucks worse than being stuck in a car with someone that only likes radio pop and country for 5 hours lol. I think music taste is a window to your soul, and personally im really not an "opposites attract" kind of person. I want my partner to be my best friend, and I probably wouldnt be friends with somebody that doesnt have some common interests especially when it comes to music .
Make more of these please, because of you, I started studying personal finance and I am interested in making more money! You opened my eyes, Finn. I know one day you’ll hear about me!
man, i just want to thank you for your positive attitude and advices, suffering from depression since i was 10 years old you really changed the game for me! thank you very much you don't know what that means
I found it so funny when you mentioned 'looking to find someone who's into all the same shit as you= dating yourself' because I came to that realisation a couple years ago. Laying in bed and realising that the ideal person I wanted to be with was me, and ironically, these were all the people I was attracting but were also the people i was put off by. overweight, hyper clingy, too into a weird hobby/have too many hobbies that you dont really practice and these were all the things I didnt like about myself. I just remember laying in bed struggling to sleep and felt the bulb light up in my head, "oh... I'm just an idiot". I should just probably work on making myslef bare-able for me before dealing with other people.
💪🏼
Spent a few years in the Hipster Runoff party nihlism. Ugh.
I went on a couple dates with a girl who had the exact same music tastes as I do. I got briefly obsessed with her purely because of that, ignoring red flags that would have probably made us very incompatible. Eventually she ghosted me and shortly after, I met someone whose favorite artists were Taylor Swift and Bad Bunny, with the heaviest music she'd ever listen to being...Fall Out Boy.
And guess what? She's hands down the best relationship I've ever been in and we connect incredibly in so many other ways. It made me really realize how trivial things like this are in the dating world once you meet the right person.
Wish my teenage self could have seen this video! Would have saved me YEARS of headaches and negative relationships. Well done, Finn. Love your videos. Keep it up.
Another solid video and I"m liking the time-stamped sections, Finn!
I'm 27 now and I definitely wish I had someone like you when I was younger; I was super misanthropic, edgy, and just way too obsessed with certain things to not be an absolute cringelord. That and I had a lot of mental health shit that I thought I was "tough enough" to handle; I regret not getting help sooner for it. This bullshit went on for an embarrassingly long time, probably up until I was a sophomore in college (so around 20ish) until I got it together for the most part.
Also, couldn't agree with you more on breaking out of the checklists and "types"; my current girlfriend likes a fair amount of what I like, but we have our differences and we're not going to go to see some aggro, mosh pit kind of band together lol. I totally think that idolizing and other bullshit set me back. I think that just fed into my negativity and only when I stopped trying to force relationships (this includes friendships) did I start having a solid group of friends.
When I worked at hot topic, all kinds of dudes would come in all the time to “shop” like just working there was some kind of aphrodisiac.
But now that i work in an office no one cares. I miss the old days lol
I worked in an office for 7 years. You really feel cut off from society. And even IN the office, I was totally outcast for not playing the games. Hope you can escape (unless you like the office LOL)
@@SteveBello if the office was more like “The Office” I’d probably enjoy it a lot more but unfortunately its more like high school. Suck ups, useless busy work, management who hate their lives 😑
When I was 20 (24 now) my Aunt, who is a financial advisor and like a second mother to me, insisted on me opening an IRA and contributing $100 a month. I dragged my feet at the time but I’m so glad that she did. Once you get rolling it’s genuinely fun, I now have both an IRA and a Roth and contribute $500 a month between the two. I’m absolutely horrible at saving but the fact that I really can’t touch the money in those accounts and the fact that it auto contributes out of my account every month means it really works well for me. Start small, even $50 a month will get your foot in the door, and watching your account grow is incredibly rewarding.
Great video. Pretty much all these lessons I had to learn the hard way, but you are 100% dead on with these.
The 1st thing listed is absolutely true. I dated a few "scene girls" back in that era and those relationships would last a month tops because there was nothing beyond the music/scene that we had in common. My wife hates hardcore and roasts me when she hears me listening to it.
100 hours isnt even an hour a day for a year, them a weak baby hours, when you get 400hours in pokemon in less then six months then you have issues
He was talking about playing 100 hours like it’s a lot, and I’m not even a gamer 😂
"Maybe play like 2 or 3 hours a week instead of 20 or 30" lmao what
Thanks for another rad vid. You are so bright and insightful and very enjoyable to listen to. Keep up the good work mr finn!xx
I love this. Me and my friend, both of us are metal/punk enthusiasts. We go to shows and concerts, we look the part, we love the culture, and we're friends with people like us. But we are very motivated when it comes to personal growth, financial growth, and hell, even physical growth (we're both meat heads). And we think it's such a shame that most people like us do nothing but complain about how shitty the system is instead of doing something about it. I want to flip the script. The world already views the counter culture negatively, so we want to break the stereotypes that are attached to our music, tattoos, and piercings. And the only way to do that is to make myself better. Start with myself.
3:19 honestly you're not wrong for using heteronormative language here. My experience might not actually represent the whole community, but I've seen this sentiment very little in the gay (male) community. Maybe this is because where/when I grew up (00's, the Netherlands) most guys came out between 16 and 20 years old, and I think the idea of needing a bf/gf that shares all your interests is more of a thing common in younger teenagers. It's probably also less of a rarity to find guys (as a man) that share a many of your interests, since men and women tend to like different things, so you're less likely to get obsessed over it.
This channel is underrated
Bigtime underrated. It's interesting for me because most of the bands he usually talks about are not at all my kind of music. I like these videos because I used to be one of them negative traditional heavy metal only types. I hated all the "core" bands and basically anything modern. I thought they were a disgrace, disrespecting "actual" or "real" metal. And by watching Finns videos, I get to learn just how legit and hardworking many of these guys were/are. Still not a fan of the music itself, however I'm learning alot, and gained respect for these guys... Respect I should have had all along.
I was a 'yeah, but' kid for the longest time, I got the help I needed and although things aren't always rosy I'm feeling really good about life in general, great advice on getting help and leaving those people behind Finn
Dude this video is the best video you’ve made, it’s helped me so much and I keep coming back to it every now and then, please make more! lol
message: never ever dislike anything, and DEFINITELY never express your opinons unless its unanimous praise for pop culture
At least I'm not the only one, this seems to be the underlying motif of the last couple of videos.
this is interesting.
i made a similar video on this very topic but i also connect this with business and competition
search for
"German Lifecoach: Connection between Toxic Relationships and Influencers"
I saw this really good video breaking down the different types of "relationships" viewers have with creators, they actually mentioned you in that video and used as an example of someone that's a fatherfigure to his viewers and acts as mentor, this just reinforces that.
I love your self awareness. This a lot of great advice. Thanks for this video. Keep up the good work Finn.
That Crystal Castles clip was PERFECT for what you were talking about 😆
Lol! Glad you got it
Bruh how do I get a girlfriend while in quarantine, in March I really wanted to get out of my shell and really make new friends, but I can't go anywhere and I'm wicked lonely and more depressed then Ive ever been because of Covid. What do I do
I’m 48 and my brother is 54 and I had to cut him off.
I haven’t spoken to or seen him in 15 years and.I regret nothing.
And like you said about your step-dad, I wish my brother the best and hope he’s doing well but I honestly couldn’t care less if I ever see or hear from him again.
We just never saw eye to eye on anything.
He’s a cop & I’ve been in the music business (in different ways) since I was 13, it’s my full time job (my life) and he’s always looked down on me.
To have any contact with him I would have to enter his world, on his terms and it just was too much.
The final straw was him majorly letting my daughter down when she was 5 yrs old.
He got her hopes up about taking her somewhere and when the time came he completely stood her up and made her cry terribly.
Even at such a young age she asked me why doesn’t he like her, because this wasn’t the first time and to see her like that broke my heart.
That was it for me.
I washed my hands of him completely, DONE.
Thank you for the tips, Finn! Really opened my eyes and inspired me!
Damn, this is just like going out of my way to eat gas station pizza, I have diarrhea every day
I really appreciate your life advice videos. Hope you make more!
Legit, this is helpful info. Love the channel and it brings back so much nostalgia.
Wait, is 100 hours a lot? *stares at over 4000 hours in my top 3 steam games*
100 hours is a lot of time in general, but in Final Fantasy Tactics it doesn't seem like an excessive amount.
Tactical/strategy turn based RPGs take a long time to play and beat. All the levelling up and stat building.
100 hours / 2 hours a day = 50 days, not even two months. Most gamers put in a lot more hours now than in the late 90s when FFT came out.
I will disagree with Finn and say that there's nothing wrong with relaxing and de-stressing from a long day at work by playing FFT, especially if you're in a dead end job that you hate at a copy shop.
I am not against self-improvement, but imagine getting burnt out trying to work more after a long day at work. Sometimes "wasting time" is necessary and really isn't a waste of time. We're human and we need to take it easy sometimes.
I will agree with him in that you should be careful not to do it too much and make it your life. Unless you're a paid streamer, then it's your job.
I don't think Finn would have a problem with that, seeing how he's business oriented and has the attitude that "if it makes you money, do it".
I try to get - at least - 100 hours in most games I buy, if possible, so they feel worth what I paid lol. Especially nowadays with games getting more and more expensive
>30yo core adult: Makes coffee wearing crocs and only listens to the acoustic version of the core songs without the screaming parts
So its cool to wear Crocs again? Not a core person but jeez, im glad I'm not in the loop of certain trends lol
@@joshuaholman7760 crocs were never and will never be cool. Despite this fact, I too wear them because of ease and comfort
@@oliviacaron7088 I would only wear them if I was going to be in a watery area and the bottom of the lake or river had shit I couldn't see or was really rocky and maybe sharp. Outside of that, there's no need for them lol.
@@joshuaholman7760 I wear them when I garden and that’s about it. I use to have a pair for the water when I was a kid. They are foam and float, and I remember it was a fight to try and keep them on. But again I was a kid so who knows
big thanks to you finn, youre probably the best influence in metal i thought id never see, keep up the good work but mostly take it easy
This is a good message I'm 25 and had to learn this lesson the hard way and am still working on some these bad tendencies daily. It is rewarding to see how you grow and change as a person also how your world around you alters to your behavior and mindset. It can be hard but worth it.