the post-grad crisis: dating, career changes, & being in shambles 24/7
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
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oh dear...here we go...
post-grad life is scary and exciting! let's hash out my deepest, most inner turmoils and try to figure out life as a 20-something.
signing off,
linh xx
timestamps
0:00 intro to the crisis
1:17 being single & bellesa
3:23 all about love
6:23 fairytale vs. reality
8:43 maintaining friendships in a world that prioritizes romantic love
8:57 third places
11:31 learning & working
13:49 aw shoot! I still care about what my family thinks of me...
15:25 being the eldest
16:40 in conclusion...
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thanks for watching! 🌻
d i s c o r d s e r v e r
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m u s i c
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f a q s
pronouns? she/her, they/them
how old are you? 22 hehe
are you vietnamese? heck yeah! i am half-viet, half chinese :)
what editor do you use? final cut pro X, yay!
what camera do you use? the sony zv1, gopro hero 9, and panasonic lumix gh5
s o c i a l m e d i a
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business inquiries: linh@palettemgmt.com
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wow thank you so much
I love how the Thump looks like a glasses case. No-ones gonna know 😳
Thump is 10/10
okay I keep on getting confused whenever I see someone say toys and then bellesa b/c I'm mixing it up with the plush company bellzi (which makes REALLY soft plushes). I'm like huh I want a free plush.... then realize... no, that's not what this is. this is the second time this has happened to me with bellsa LOL
as an aroace person, your frustrations about barely seeing your friends post-grad is so real T_T like who else am i gonna hang out with? my stuffed giraffe? frequenting third places sounds like a great idea though, i should definitely incorporate that into my life!
aroace... one of us 🦅🦅
@@iris_clownone of us !
I’m aroace as well!!
Bro, what does being aroace have to do with it? Like, I'm bisexual with a really high sex drive and I have the same frustrations and it's not even for sexual reasons.
Seriously why do people begin their comments with "as a an indigenous Chinese-speaking bisexual ADHD person who grew up in the Deep South with autism and struggling parents, my tummy hurts"
@@meltup3668that’s their experience or life through their lenses it isn’t that deep.
I also hate how our society kinda forces us to prioritize romantic love above all else. We work so much and so long that there is no other choice but to choose and rank how we want to spend our time between careers, family, partners and friends. Often times when we run out of time, we end up cutting off friends from that list even though having platonic connections are so important
In a world where people are ashamed to openly talk about their feelings I find your videos very comforting! Love your content!
The dating part hit so hard... as a queer non-binary person with lots of feminine features, the idea of dating is also something I'm really struggling with. It's so much harder to exist in relation to someone else.
Yo that part about maintaining friendships in a world that prioritises romantic love is so real. I got out of a 5 year relationship a couple of years ago, and while its been really great for me to learn to be okay being single, I'm constantly worried that all my friends are getting married and that seems to have less and less time just being around friends.
Edits: typos
I'll pretend it was not a re-upload 🫡
LMAOO i accidentally clicked off and got confused when i couldn’t go back :’)
@@Cookie_Comment T.T I got soooo excited but then the video disappeared:')
I thought I was hallucinating
@@radhikakhandelwal7788 wait wait wait, am i tripping or are you the um sososocietyy blog writer?? (apologies if I'm wrong T.T)
@@raksha4309 I am not
i think the whole struggle of trying to hold on to platonic relationships in a world of romantic love is so hard but so very important. it's v e r y frustrating at times, as someone who js aroace, trying to make people understand that love exists beyond romance and all. also rhe fear of being perceived as fem by my friends and partners is so real as a non binary person
I understand the post grad stress (,: been 1 year for me and it’s still stressful after getting a job 😭 So many things to think about 🤧
yes this is real…there’s so many things up in the air, it’s so tough!
Right here with you!! Keep your head up, we'll get there
Post-grad stress is so real... I'm also a graduating senior about to head into the workforce and start a new chapter in life, and it's so so scary to take those steps. All of us are in this together, and I always try to remind myself that like, we're LITERALLY BARELY IN OUR 20S!! There is so much out there in life and who the hell knows what will happen in even a year's time! And if at first we don't fulfill our expectations, there's still time to take those steps outwards and to change and grow. Sending you all the love
so true! wish I had been easier on myself in my 20's because boy did life happen! I'm now 30 with two kids, broke up with my partner, got into a new career path and going back to school after having graduated and worked within my field of study 5 years ago. Never know what's going to happen so better to enjoy the journey and whatever it may bring. 😁
bro adjusting to post-grad has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster. it took me 7 months but i finally got a job 😭 i'm learning just to enjoy every moment with my family and go with the flow because life is truly crazy atm
OH MY GOD!!! YOU GET IT!!! Im non binary too and I've had a few partners I've ended up breaking things off with because I felt like they were with me for my body and how I was perceived versus who I actually am. my current partner is also exploring his gender expression and he's the first person I truly feel like ME with. I hope you find someone one day that sees you in your full non-binary glory!!
the job market nowadays is- i dont even know what to say about it anymore. skill, degree, and experience doesnt even matter anymore. its all connection and reference.
i know people who have absolutely no clue what they're doing, yet get accepted to middle manager positions JUST CUZ they know someone in that company.
sigh its hard being gen z
I felt the part where you discussed insecurity surrounding how your partner perceives you. I am pansexual and non-binary as well and it has one of the first thoughts that I have when I talk to someone new, especially since I am fem presenting.
I'm so stressed about graduating now 😭
I relate to this situation so much. My friends graduated around 2 years before I did. I changed majors (they were in political science and I switched to a law bachelors) and had to basically redo my undergrad. Most of them have steady partners and live together with them, have stable and long term jobs and it is really hard to meet them. Simply because they have very limited time left and when they have time they spend it with their partners or family. And you, as a friend, not topping that priority. It is a big commitment to choose a friend over the people who live with you. We are also kind of in different places in life. I am starting out and they are already on the path to steady jobs and homes. It is so mentally draining.
wishing you some comfort and peace ❤ i hope you're able to spend time with those who prioritize you! sending you a big virtual hug
I'm in the same post-grad boat and ohhhh man it is so hard in this market to find a job, I keep feeling like my degree is useless 😭 but I am learning how to stay positive and keep on trying 💪 we all out here struggling together and that's what keeps me going
Same :( University did not prepare me for the difficulty of trying to find work lol. We’ll defo get there and know it’s not just you!
this whole time i felt like i was on a facetime w you. for some reason listening about your post grad anxiety gave me comfort. like i'm not the only one dealing w this. thank you💗
as someone who dropped out of bc of illnesses, i really feel the crisis 🙃
i think relationships ultimately ebb and flow. i've been loving hitomi mochizuki's videos and her portrayal + experience with building relationships/community. it's become a big priority for me to prioritize all relationships rather than the one kind that we're fed by institutions/society. that doesn't mean i don't want a romantic partner but the fact that i can still create that love within myself and others. it's lowkey weird to me how friendships/family are devalued when they truly sustain us.
i think as you change and evolve, so will your relationships! but that doesn’t mean you still can't hang iut and connect whether online or in person. you never walk alone
i can't believe i teared up towards the end there but omg i am so proud of you, it feels like yesterday that we watched you graduate from high school! thank you for sharing your post-grad thoughts, i relate to so much of what you said
i graduated last summer and im still dealing with so much of what your saying!!!! the loss of community that university provides was something that hit me really hard, friends are sooo everything and its hard to imagine the rest of life not having friends within walking distance AND having to work forever!!!! its so crazy being in your early 20s
It’s so helpful to hear you speak so openly about gender and sexuality like this ❤
This rambling is beautiful!! I saw a couple of your videos a few years ago and it's crazy how clearly you've grown. I can hear in the way you speak how learning has shifted the way you think, super smart, informed and empathetic. I feel much less alone in my postgrad spiral!!
literally felt this whole video 🥲
i relate to this so hard with my media studies major fr like the way i view the world and capitalism and how we organize ourselves as humans is so different than before college and im so thankful
this. when i graduated 2 years ago, i left feeling so lost - i eventually went back to school because i had no idea what i was doing, but it led to me being depressed out of my mind.
feeling everything you're feeling here as a fellow creator. sometimes, it feels so shambly and out of place with juggling work, school, content - but you're doing great.
Oh i had a very similar talk with my mother about prioritizing a stable career and not going to art school first. She encourages me to go study theater when i finish my current degree thought.
make a book club post grad! friends+books+recurring event=good connection
I am living it right now (graduated uni end of 2023). I don’t have a job related to my degree yet, and I don’t think I will any time soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, I’m so incredibly stressed about finances, I don’t have any friends, the list goes on… I’m feeling more lost than I ever have before, and my (granted, pre-existing) mental illnesses have become more debilitating than ever 🙁
The talk about marriage and relationships is so real. As an asexual and possibly aromantic person, it’s so hard to detach myself from the idea that I have to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. Friendship can be just as fulfilling as romantic relationships (or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself).
being in an asian family and being a d1 yapper is SO REAL !!
i dont even speak to majority of the asian half of my family anymore; but whenever my parents come home with more tea about
the family tree i happily listen.
Yay perfect timing. Your videos give me so much comfort ✨
I love that you talk about things that people are too scared to talk about. Being open about your life really helps me and other people feel more understood and is nice to relate to someone else.
I'm an older viet-american and the entirety of school was the forced doctor/lawyer/"useful degree"' path, which failed miserably and now that I'm older my mom tried to tell me to pursue art and it feels like the biggest punch to the stomach.
I'm in the same boat, but I'm still in school. I have thoughts of switching all the time, but the fear of not being financially stable scares me 😵💫 Since you've been there, do you have any advice on how to navigate?
@@reallyadawn4869 honestly, I struggled a lot with finances because mental health made it hard for me to work, so I understand that fear. I would say try to find the best balance of what you want and what pays the bills, you can still pursue art with a non-art degree. As long as you keep a good relationship with your passion for art, you will find a way to make it work for you. There are many artists that used to be corporate or medical.
Try to be open-minded on the changes and like, gentle with yourself. It won't be the end of the world if you work on a nonart degree, what will hurt the most is losing your passion or desire for art.
On paper non-art degrees look better, but your degree =/= the job you pursue. Or fuck it, double major. I had an archeology professor who minored in theatre. Markiplier has an engineering degree, Garbo Zhu/Grumpy Kid Studio graduated with an architect degree.
This is very much like rambling and the same thing worded differently 3 times, but it's things I try to tell myself to keep going
@@reallyadawn4869 I HAD THIS LONG REPLY TYPED OUT, but TLDR:
Your degree is just a piece of paper and your classes help give you a head start, at the end of the day you and your passion are what determine what you do. There is no harm in staying in your major to have a nice degree on paper for work. Money is the easiest way to lose hope and focus in life, but learning frugality and ways to save help out ( beans, rice, cabbage n eggs bby )
There is also like, no issue with double majoring, there is no rule that your minor or second major has to be related. I had an archeology professor with a double major in THEATRE.
But yeah, try to keep your passion for creating; your degree in something non-art isn't a "Hey you can't do art for work anymore".
Remember, grumpy kid studio's garbo zhu majored in architect, markiplier has an engineering major. You define what your work will be.
omg i love this video ! i love how you can update and be vulnerable with your viewers
I'm also non-binary and pansexual and had a hard time coming out to my straight partner, but he accepted me fully and didn't get caught up on his label. He actively affirms my gender in any space we enter even when my own family doesn't affirm me. I totally get how you feel and you will find someone who accepts all of you.
Besides that, I vibe with literally all of the hurricane and messy emotions you are feeling. It's the same and we're all headless chickens running around.
Hope you’re doing okay linh!! Thanks for the new vid!
so excited to be this early! i love listening to your life updates and admire how you can express your vulnerabilities and intimate self! take care and much love
Oh my, I‘m also graduating this year and today I‘ve been spiraling about all the unknown things that are about to come. So I feel you 100%
been a loyal sub since early lockdown n linh rn idc wht u say but ur SLAYING 😭❤️
This is so relatable! Thank you for making this 🥹🤍
honestly i think you already have a lot of good things going for you! you’re actively figuring it out and it seems like you have support
the fact i relate to a lot of those feelings when im still in my last year of high school and having no idea of what i want to graduate as
but we're gonna be fine linh!! we'll be good
you're so real for this, you're literally saying what i've been thinking about in my head for the past months that i couldn't even put to words 😂 thanks for being so open to us i love uu for this!
I love your videos so much. Definitely feel like I’m having a conversation with myself and it feels so good to hear someone else sharing these thoughts. I could listen to you rambling all day. Definitely inspired me to go on more third places
I am graduating in three months and these thoughts are haunting me every single day!! Thank you for your video Linh ☺ It's so good to hear that I'm not alone 😮💨
your rambling is so sporadic but so inspirational 🥹
This video was so comforting 🥺🥺🥹🥹
i really enjoyed this video!!! i love listening to you ramble honestly, if you had a podcast or something i would listen to it on loop haha. i watched this while deep cleaning my room and it didnt even feel boring anymore :)
hi linh! i just wanted to say that i've been watching you since 2021 and you're literally my top comfort youtuber. whenever i'm having a bad day, i just hop on to watch one of your videos and it makes me feel sooo much better. you're like a friend to me at this point! hope you never stop making videos!! appreciate u smmmm
full circle moment when I remembered watching u when u were in 12th grade almost into college and I was still in middle school to now u graduating and I just started going to college.. u're a real inspiration linh!! I long for the same dedication and passion that u have ♥️
this video was so so needed. i graduated a semester early last year and got a temp job pretty soon after so my post-grad feelings were delayed bc most of my friends hadn't graduated yet and i had a job to keep me occupied. now that that job is over and im unemployed while all my friends are working, the post grad crisis is creeping up on me. thank you for this.
hi linh ur quite literally my spirit guide
we missed you omg
Fellow post-grad here! The transition from college life to adult life and starting a new job presented a lot of challenges and stress that I really wasn't prepared for. I've been sick EIGHT times since September, some times were from pure stress and other times from starting to work a lot with little kids. I'm finally feeling more settled in my life, but also feeling some pressure to go back to school to get a master's. I'm a freelance musician/music teacher so having a master's could give me an edge and offer me better opportunities (like having an actual salaried job with benefits lol). I know it's the right step for my career, but the thought of going back to school and moving again kind of freaks me out. I just want to settle down somewhere, but I have a long way to go. Thinking about the future is scary and uncomfortable :/ you're not alone.
i remember watching your video on school once you started, and now we’re graduating at the same time!! good luck and thanks for this, kind of eased my own post grad anxieties and delusions
Wow, I didn’t know everyone had similar experiences. I had the exact same thoughts around relationships, friendships, and family, and career but now its been 2 year post-grad, all of these spiraling thoughts and questions will start to resolve itself in a very, calm, natural way. Congratulations to the class of 2024, and be proud of who you have become.
this isnt related but man, i remember watching your vids when you were in highschool senior while I was a freshman haha. crazy how im an undergrad student in college now, and youre a post grad student! thanks for all the laughs and love, linh! youre a super cool girl, keep it up, love ya! :)
i feel like i've been living this post grad crisis since graduating last spring :'D I think it's only been recently that all these kinds of things (expectations, future, job prospects, friendships n so on) have hit me, so it is comforting to here and understand that others are going through the same thing, even if they've graduated recently or are soon to be grads!! I think i've neglected that theres much more that a person can learn even outside of school, now i wanna look into workshops or classes to take avaliable to me :D thank you and best of luck to you!!
you posted this on the last day I had in my hometown with my friends before we move - thank you for helping me feel less alone :)
Can I just say you are like the coolest person ever, ur one of my fav ytbers now T-T YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A CHILL AND COOL PERSON RAAA
It's just crazy to me to see how I'm watching your videos a year away from graduating high school, and how I started watching them when you were graduating high school. It's been some time since I last checked out your content, but wow it has changed so much and feels so adult, to us people who grew up with social media at our disposal, it seems insane to think about how we grow up along our favorite creators. Wishing you the best Linh :)
WOOOO 2024!!! This video was honestly so refreshing, graduation is right around the corner and I'm both excited and have a daunting feeling for what comes after. Either way tho, I will find happiness >:D
Linh, you are such a wise person for your age. You will make it big. Make sure to keep enjoying what you do. Don't stres too much about finding a one true love or about getting on the right path straight away. Your intuition and feelings will guide you along the way.
hey started watching/listening to your videos recently. really like the content coming from someone who also has a bachelors in sociology. definitely have had similar issues in post grad life since getting my degree in 2023. can relate a lot to your struggles in terms of sexuality, staying connected with friends, and general every day life.
hii linh
Linh, I have followed you for years, but I haven’t watched a video in probably 3 years. This being the first video I’ve watched of yours since then just made me a huge fan again. I’m excited to go back through your videos and watch your journey! You’re doing great, and I’m just as stressed about the world and post grad crisis as you 😂
idk if this is pressuring to hear but thank you for being my online older sibling :) as the older sister myself i realized that i really like content like this because it just gives the vibes of face timing and having an "everything's going to be okay"-chat about life. there is something oddly soothing about this, even if you talk about problems or crises. i just feel like we are all in this together and life is much more fun in a group of people. you made this channel a comfort zone for me, so thank you.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one experiencing this stuff 😭. I've been anxious about this ever since the new year started
I normally never comment but I have to say this video came at the right time and spoke to my heart. I'm at a similar point in my life right now, as I'm also graduating from sociology this year and yes the post-grad crisis is hitting hard these days... To figure out how you want your life (work, relationships and love) to look like after leaving the "safe place" of university is pretty scary!
I’m graduating college this May with my undergrad and this video makes me feel sooooo seen. Love yall and how open you always are 💕
Loved this catch-up
i love listening to your yap sessions before bed, keep yapping :)
This video felt sooooooo validating. I’ve been graduated for almost a year now and I’ve felt so lost and afraid and alone.
My mental health has taken a nosedive and I’ve lost a lot of my friends from school, we never keep in touch anymore or things just didn’t work out, I can’t manage to find a job/I’m afraid of “putting myself out there” and college isn’t even an option for me because it’s so incredibly expensive. And don’t even get me started on dating. I’m so scared of dying alone and being alone. I yearn for love and physical touch but I can never seem to keep it or find the right one.
Everything has just been so confusing and stressful but seeing that I’m not alone and it’s normal to feel lost and scared and lonely is so validating for me. So thank you for making this video.
I graduate in December and I'm feeling it. I only have a few more weeks of this semester, and I'm CRAWLING over this finish line. We got it!
Graduating this July 2024 and rn I’m incredibly stressed out about what’s next. Post grad crisis is real and I keep putting things off my mind because there’s so much going in my head once I start thinking about the future. It’s like I wanna study for my board exam but my parent wanted me to work first. Plus the pressure of being one of the top performing students hence it’s expected of you to take that licensure exam and pass (not to mention it’s one of the hardest in my country with low passing rate). Now I’m always in my phone, just scrolling and thinking that I’d get tired of this too. July is fast approaching hence I really need to think things through, but hey one thought at a time!
tearing up after your vid ahh! Thank you so much for sharing 100% relate to everything you said regarding relationships. I’m graduating at the end of the year so the full on post grad crisis hasn’t hit me yet ( I can feel it brewing though) but I will definitely come back to this vid when it does
I haven't watched one of your videos in a long time (you had a boyfriend last time I saw) and it was nice to sit down and watch a video like this. I've been subscribed since you were in highschool so it's crazy to see you post grad! I'm a couple years older but it's reassuring to see lots of people around the same age as me struggling with all this stuff. Here's to hoping our generation can get out of this mess!!
I went about 7-8 years from my last relationship to my current one, and my experience in the dating app/dating sphere as a queer person totally resonated with how you feel about being perceived as your whole self! I decided that I wanted to prioritize the same things you mentioned (love & relationships as a choice, a queer-coded relationship vs a straight-coded one in terms of behavior and attitudes) and despite the stress and loneliness til now, I wouldn't do anything different.
Also, I've found that everything is cyclical and eventually you renew connections with people who were off in their relationships/personal life for a while. People miss you too! It's gonna work out, I think you have really good focuses for the near future!
linh, this video came at the perfect time! as a recent graduate (like, last week), quarter life crisis has hit me good. trying to combat the feeling of being on the clock to hit every milestone by the time i'm thirty has been really tough, especially because all of my friends seem to be well on their way with exactly that. add to that a very similar struggle around gender identity + a desire to be seen as a nonbinary person by romantic partners rather than a female body and you get the perfect existential slump i find myself in right now haha your video helped a lot, not only because your advice is really solid (definitely gonna seek out more third places as well!) but because it feels strangely comforting to hear your thoughts on what i thought was a very isolating experience. we're so often in our own heads that we think our struggles to be paramount or alien to others around us, especially those who seem to meet societal expectations no problem. super glad for the little reminder that no one has their shit figured out entirely post-graduation and to feel excitement rather than dread about all the great things to come :)
I graduated in ‘22 and the stress is/was real 😢❤
Let me tell ya one great thing about post-grad is that it is possible to keep up with your college friends. My main friend group now is made up mostly of people I've continued to be around who I met in college! So there's hope! :)
If it makes you feel better your entire house is an aesthetic vibe
girl ive been watching u for 5 years now and i frkksid love your channel
by girl i meant it as an expression okay i dont mean to misgender you sorryy
Speaking on your two passions art and social justice really do go hand in hand 😊
love uuuu linhhhh
Dem, when you started talking about how the art career isn't recognized by your extended family, that hit me in the feels so hard. Finally got a foot in the art director role recently and I'm absolutely thrilled but my parents, until now, hasn't recognized the role or even put an effort to understand or take an interest in my career. They don't even know what to tell our extended family about what I do whenever it comes up , even though I've told them about it several times. This video made me want to tear up by the end but it's still so inspiring. Biggest good luck and best wishes to your post-grad ventures!
I loved the conversation on this video... I'm from brazil so the relationship (all of them) may have a different aspect but after I finished college and started working I still see and casually hang out with my friends from college (even from high school) quite often. Yes sometimes a friend will be living in a different country or city, another one will be married already or just traveling around the world. But I don't know, we just have conversations about our lifes and struggles, and we still value each other space in our current life - even tough some people you will see idk 2x per year. We are all navigating this new cycle of life and meeting new people as well but when it is a good friendship it will just work - even tough it may be only with a facetime sometimes
I understand you so deeply about the viet aunties and uncles using snowball effect to create these crazy collateral damages :) I was in the exact same situation for the past year and now I had to cut them off (not burn the bridges completely but i locked the gates on the bridges). I hope you know that sometimes they DO NOT have the rights to hurt you or your family like that. It's absolutely not your family nor your fault. I strongly believe it's because they did not know any better than that ;)
You'll be okay. I've been out of college for a few years, and while it's a change, it does open you up to meeting new people. And it's definitely possible to keep in touch with friends too
its like listening to an older friend whos facing adult life before me, and like your telling me the truth its gonna be hard but its gonna be okay. Im entering senior high in like a few weeks and this gave me comfort n courage for a period of my life that I will soon face after like 2 years haha thanks dude
i loooove your videos! thank you!
i felt so good watching this video and reading the comments. im living all those post grad things right now. and thinking about love/gender and asian family things in all this context... everything you said in the video is a very real part of my day to day life too hahaha and i think it gets even more crazy because im from Brasil and i feel like i can relate soooo much with you and the whole community, even though im from a totally different country🥹 im so glad im a part of this beautiful community. i feel so included, so... shout out from Brasil🫶🇧🇷 hope the best for all of u guys
I relate with you in mostly thoughts about post graduation. The way that we see our "social milestones" increase our anxiety and we can't relax and just enjoy our journey as any human should
The honesty ❤
AHHHH I CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH THIS.
Thank you for talking about these things so openly Linh
thanks a lot for sharing, I loved the video ^_^
as someone who has been single for 10 yrs and has their first legit potentially good date TONIGHT this hit home. I want love and that forever best friend but the rest of me is very happy being alone because i love my own company and not having to consider another human outside of my core friends and core family. It's alot and i'm very stressed but also we have to find out and see what happens.....shit is scary guys.
linh i really love these kinds of videos
OMW the dyed hair plus the cute sweater jersy and the necklace 😮😍