This is, detail by detail, exactly who and what my narcissist is/was. "I just want to help" you systematically destroy your life so I can be a victim! They pretend to possess such righteousness all the while ruling hades. You simply described them with surgical precision!!! Such vile creatures.
My covert malignant narc parent is known to people as a very hardworking person. They are also a very 'caring, empathetic and concerned' parent. My narc parent is easily able to cry 'compassionate and sympathetic' tears for other's hardships. Unfortunately my narc parent is also a very skilled person, so they use their skills and time to pitch up for people in their hour of need, therefore looking as though they are an extremely loyal, kind friend. And then buying people's loyalty in the process. Because of all their convincing covers, it is wrongly assumed they are a person of integrity! And so because of all of this, they have easily smeared me and my other parent to people and severely isolated us too!
I just had an individual that I've known for years and suspected for a while of being a covert narc come last weekend from another state to visit and within two days her mask was finally dropped and shattered. She didn't come to see me, but instead to see how I live, what I have, what I look like, to devalue and refuse my hospitality at every turn, attempt to manipulate, dominate, critisize and belittle (even my pets and feeding and caring for the birds) with a lot more she was doing. She never lets you talks, remembers anything you've said, sucks the air and energy out of the room, never shuts up and had to be cut off after telling me the same bragging story for the millionth time her last night here, then she resorted to the silent treatment afterwards for which led to her leaving out the door the following morning making a scene thinking I was going to chase after her. Individual was finally recognized as an absolute deceptive monster and everything you described in this video.
This is the one my soon-to-be ex wife uses all the time. She used that to lure me into marriage, and now she's using it against me. I thought I saved her from her previous husband, and now she claims she needs to be saved from me. Sadly some people believed her stories about my alleged monstrosities.
@@nietwojinteres7278 I've been knee deep in a few of these situations man. Now I always have an escape plan They want to hook you in order to endour their personal torture, burdens and mental instability 😢😢 luckily for me I dated alot and was able to identify and get out of these situations fast 🤟🤟
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing. I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you! Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Well, your first type nailed it with my narcistic husband!!! Wow. ...it's nauseating. Adding to this, the isolation and the beholding unto him for his provision is a trap I am trying desperately to get out of. At 71 and having had a stroke, it seems impossible.
Thank you so much! This helps me know when I am being manipulated or made to feel “off balance” so they can go to work placing their ideas. I’m also learning not to do certain things that are narcissistic. This is so helpful❤
Thanks for shining the spotlight on ME - a blend of the "artistic" and the "jokester" narcissist. My life's a cautionary tale... I may have just found out why I'm so off-putting to others. Have self to blame for why I'm alone in the world.
I wish i could see and listened this video 15 or 12 or 10 years ago. That could have saved me a life time and a mountain of mental energy. For every evil act of the narcissist in my life I was working on myself, thinking that their action was my fault.
A couple of these really hit home for me with the people in my life and some of them towards the end are things that I know I’ve done before to try and take back control with someone I think is a narcissist. (Humor to exert control without going deeper). Unfortunately I believe I have to go down that route sometimes because the people I talk to tell me that I’m too sensitive when I bring up real issues or boundaries. So that’s become my way of communicating with them. No idea if that’s good or not but I’ll talk to my therapist about it this week. 😂 thank you so much for sharing. It really helps to be able to identify behaviors.
This video actually hit home with me over the people I got rid of. I just did everyone who was in my life a favor 👍👍they were trying to tell me in the first place that they never wanted me in their life so okie dokie 👍
Before i met ' my ' covert narcissist years ago , i would have found it very unlikely that these ' aliens ' ( i sometimes view them as such ) really were this crafty and disingenuous. I would take these descriptions and warnings with a big grain of salt. Now i know better. They do exist and i would recommend the viewers of this channel to take this smart lady's advice very seriously. She expertly describes these aberrations to a T. Much obliged , Miss Wise.
After breaking away from my psychopath narc dad my narc family I used to think i had a friend, whom i told all this to. I even told him how lucky i was to not have made a bad mistake becoming friends with him while i was in the thick of it at home, my judgment must not have been as off as i feared. So grateful for him while on my healing journey. Turns out nope, its only my cat i can trust in my life . Oh well. Time to put on an act until I can afford to leave. Thanks for the info ❤
I definitely had an intellectual outsider. He fought for the right to not have to say hi to me claiming it was "cliche" lol. Have experience with the emotional artist or creative too. Our present and future was ruined because he was overcome with such intense emotion that he didn't have me in the past (he claimed) and would randomly get moody as a result. Lots of erratic outbursts and behavior too. He expected me to be flattered. Actually said that! Instead I was scared and didn't trust or feel safe with him. How could he not know it would have this effect on me?! Oh yeah, they lack empathy. I felt like a character actor in a novel he was writing.
My exwife is exactly like this i was so nieve when i met her she trapped me with kids weve been separated for 10 years now and she still will not leave me alone i wish i never met her
Your videos lately have been so super-jam-packed with knowledge and explained in such a straight forward way, that you only need to watch a few to really get it. You really are a master at exposing this subject and I don't think anyone can doubt that you've lived through it. Also, I've listened to your story - it was truly heart-wrenching. I hope all is well with you and your child. All the best to you in your future endeavors!
There are some many channels about narcissists abuse. By far your explanations on theses individuals is to the point . Have come in count with 4 of them 2 women and 2 men . I have personally experienced there wickedness one of the women. Was my younger sister had no title for her but wicked person. Who willfully destroyed all three of her children. Your content is always accurate about these people.
As the people pleasing, cPTSD, neurodivergent, scapegoat of the family I have been accused of being a vulnerable narcissist. Narcissists and their flying monkeys are quick to claim that others are abusing them, even if it is not true. When you have been through hardships (which is likely have - you probably were narcissistically abused in your family of origin) & have had setbacks, or ill-health (you probably will as a result of the narcissistic abuse you are experiencing) or in general just had a raw deal, talking about your life experience does not make you a covert narcissist. Some attention should be given to the horrific position a victim of narcissistic abuse finds themselves in and what response & reaction traps to fall into. My reactions & responses (& my neurodivergence) have been weaponised against me.
This was pure gold Jill, Thank you so much for this, Seeing through the facades and masks :-) Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-)
I've dated 2 "loyal friends" and married a guy who was "such a nice guy". The thing about the "loyal friends guy" that drove me crazy was how they were always available and ready to help anyone. But if I asked for anything they couldn't be bothered or were too tired from helping everyone else. The "he's such a nice guy" was the worst one of all. The smear campaign was a subtle slow burn that started the minute we were in a committed relationship. (Unbeknownst to me). Every time I tried talking to my friends or family about what he was doing, I was told I must've misunderstood him because they couldn't imagine him doing anything close to what I described.
Thanks so much for all your posts, there was a one about boundaries last week I have saved to my phone about healing and not responsible for anyones healing but our own
Wow, you nailed these. Mine was the hardworking underdog 100% always the victim at work always self centred how she couldn’t pay her bills and how she needed me to run around taking care of all her whims n wants. They can’t keep it up indefinitely my ex was always going to doctors and hospital, I think she was wearing herself out with all the negative energy and deviousness. They are vile demons, run soon as you understand what you’re dealing with !
The persona in public vs what is in private … at least what I’ve seen from at least 4 NPDs (2 family members ). They don’t hold up their persona in private for very long but don’t let it slip in public .., they are incapable of having an interest or able to have an in depth conversation .. I think they get lost in creative thinking as so much is memorized in their lives .. therefore the changing of subject often
Hello doctor, could you make a video about the covert and psychosomatic narcissistic mother who uses her illness or makes it up to get attention from her adult son or daughter?
Oh wow! There is at least 7 of 10 there! 😱 My partner of 18 years. I'm working on a permanent break now 💔 I've learned alot from various channels and realised my Mil was definitely a narcissist. I now think my partner is a covert narcissist. It's hard because once you know, YOU KNOW!! It's going to be a difficult Christmas this year 🎄🙄
it was my sister Valerie all these years 50 plus years I'm sure of it now it has all fallen into place it all adds up now she's behind the entire façade the other two had to go with it for profit they couldn't help me for fear of severe poverty I made it to 66 I wont make 67 its all going bad now its just insanity
I believe my narcissistic mother and sister pretends to be sensitive parent and family members. I have a feeling my narcissistic mother also uses the hardworking underdog, seeing how she is doing at work.
Have you ever looked into having your videos translated into other languages? Please ,trust me so many cultures here in America and the whole world have narcs. I am dealing with a narc immigrant. Start with the Chinese language. good Video! Dr. Roberta Schaler passed away. She helped so many in our community. She was doing her videos while on an oxygen tank all the way to her end. She came up with the term hijackyl
they made a credit union account for me when I was born god only knows how much was in there I never saw it she must have got it I bet it was big lots of money
Jill - the streak continues, the Undertaker's not a patch on the Enlightened Target. the concerned critic...yup, met that one a few times. I'm worried about you...well bloody stop!! worry about someone else!! and you'll find the passive-aggressive 'peacemaker' in the workplace, controlling the narrative. Or so I'm told 🙂 BTW you can spot a narcissistic artist from a mile back - their art tends not to be very good...
It is on a continuum. The difference between the two is underhandedness and deceit. Looking for sympathy and pulling manipulation when they receive sympathy while others pull shadows moves. Like gaslighting, hacking and stalking, manipulation, causing havoc and drama and chaos. Usually to create smoke screens to take the focus off their shitty behavior.
Sounds like you're describing everyone's personality generally. A Narcissist can have all these feelings and behaviours, I don't deny it. Isn't lack of empathy the one thing that they don't possess? I feel you could be describing people who are Neurodivergent too, who are often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic and when in fact its Autism
This is, detail by detail, exactly who and what my narcissist is/was. "I just want to help" you systematically destroy your life so I can be a victim! They pretend to possess such righteousness all the while ruling hades. You simply described them with surgical precision!!! Such vile creatures.
My covert malignant narc parent is known to people as a very hardworking person. They are also a very 'caring, empathetic and concerned' parent. My narc parent is easily able to cry 'compassionate and sympathetic' tears for other's hardships.
Unfortunately my narc parent is also a very skilled person, so they use their skills and time to pitch up for people in their hour of need, therefore looking as though they are an extremely loyal, kind friend. And then buying people's loyalty in the process.
Because of all their convincing covers, it is wrongly assumed they are a person of integrity!
And so because of all of this, they have easily smeared me and my other parent to people and severely isolated us too!
The concerned parent! Omg this is my mother. Playing the victim while pulling strings behind the scenes and pitting us all against each other.
I just had an individual that I've known for years and suspected for a while of being a covert narc come last weekend from another state to visit and within two days her mask was finally dropped and shattered. She didn't come to see me, but instead to see how I live, what I have, what I look like, to devalue and refuse my hospitality at every turn, attempt to manipulate, dominate, critisize and belittle (even my pets and feeding and caring for the birds) with a lot more she was doing. She never lets you talks, remembers anything you've said, sucks the air and energy out of the room, never shuts up and had to be cut off after telling me the same bragging story for the millionth time her last night here, then she resorted to the silent treatment afterwards for which led to her leaving out the door the following morning making a scene thinking I was going to chase after her. Individual was finally recognized as an absolute deceptive monster and everything you described in this video.
The damsel in distress is a popular one 😂😂
This is the one my soon-to-be ex wife uses all the time. She used that to lure me into marriage, and now she's using it against me. I thought I saved her from her previous husband, and now she claims she needs to be saved from me. Sadly some people believed her stories about my alleged monstrosities.
@@nietwojinteres7278 I've been knee deep in a few of these situations man. Now I always have an escape plan
They want to hook you in order to endour their personal torture, burdens and mental instability 😢😢 luckily for me I dated alot and was able to identify and get out of these situations fast 🤟🤟
The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing.
I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you!
Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Oh, another fake 'sob story' to present an advertisement. Shame on you.
Well, your first type nailed it with my narcistic husband!!!
Wow. ...it's nauseating. Adding to this, the isolation and the beholding unto him for his provision is a trap I am trying desperately to get out of. At 71 and having had a stroke, it seems impossible.
Stay strong, God loves us ❤️ 🙏✨️🙌
Thank you so much! This helps me know when I am being manipulated or made to feel “off balance” so they can go to work placing their ideas. I’m also learning not to do certain things that are narcissistic. This is so helpful❤
Thanks for shining the spotlight on ME - a blend of the "artistic" and the "jokester" narcissist. My life's a cautionary tale... I may have just found out why I'm so off-putting to others. Have self to blame for why I'm alone in the world.
Autism Spectrum Disorder looks similar too
Becoming self-aware is one of the main lessons of life. We are not the sum of our human selves, just immersed in a role.
The Humorous Jokster. Wow. I know this one. This helped
Been absent. Horrible illegal false police reports, and beat up horrible almost killed with tazer a few weeks ago.
I wish i could see and listened this video 15 or 12 or 10 years ago. That could have saved me a life time and a mountain of mental energy. For every evil act of the narcissist in my life I was working on myself, thinking that their action was my fault.
A couple of these really hit home for me with the people in my life and some of them towards the end are things that I know I’ve done before to try and take back control with someone I think is a narcissist. (Humor to exert control without going deeper).
Unfortunately I believe I have to go down that route sometimes because the people I talk to tell me that I’m too sensitive when I bring up real issues or boundaries. So that’s become my way of communicating with them. No idea if that’s good or not but I’ll talk to my therapist about it this week. 😂 thank you so much for sharing. It really helps to be able to identify behaviors.
This video actually hit home with me over the people I got rid of. I just did everyone who was in my life a favor 👍👍they were trying to tell me in the first place that they never wanted me in their life so okie dokie 👍
Before i met ' my ' covert narcissist years ago , i would have found it very unlikely that these ' aliens ' ( i sometimes view them as such ) really were this crafty and disingenuous. I would take these descriptions and warnings with a big grain of salt. Now i know better. They do exist and i would recommend the viewers of this channel to take this smart lady's advice very seriously. She expertly describes these aberrations to a T. Much obliged , Miss Wise.
After breaking away from my psychopath narc dad my narc family I used to think i had a friend, whom i told all this to. I even told him how lucky i was to not have made a bad mistake becoming friends with him while i was in the thick of it at home, my judgment must not have been as off as i feared. So grateful for him while on my healing journey. Turns out nope, its only my cat i can trust in my life . Oh well. Time to put on an act until I can afford to leave. Thanks for the info ❤
This was my life with my mother, the best you tube video, thank you for this 🩷🙏🏻
Glad you enjoyed it
with mine, too... and my aunt, and my other aunt, and my neighbors.... they're everywhere.
I definitely had an intellectual outsider. He fought for the right to not have to say hi to me claiming it was "cliche" lol. Have experience with the emotional artist or creative too. Our present and future was ruined because he was overcome with such intense emotion that he didn't have me in the past (he claimed) and would randomly get moody as a result. Lots of erratic outbursts and behavior too. He expected me to be flattered. Actually said that! Instead I was scared and didn't trust or feel safe with him. How could he not know it would have this effect on me?! Oh yeah, they lack empathy. I felt like a character actor in a novel he was writing.
I knew a peacemaker plus a loyal friend.A deadly treacherous mixture.
You have just described each of my and my partners family members…including him.
LOVE your videos! Please post more frequently
My exwife is exactly like this i was so nieve when i met her she trapped me with kids weve been separated for 10 years now and she still will not leave me alone i wish i never met her
Thanks!
Thank you so much 🙏❤️🙏
Your videos lately have been so super-jam-packed with knowledge and explained in such a straight forward way, that you only need to watch a few to really get it. You really are a master at exposing this subject and I don't think anyone can doubt that you've lived through it.
Also, I've listened to your story - it was truly heart-wrenching. I hope all is well with you and your child. All the best to you in your future endeavors!
Aw, thank you so much 🙏
Thank you so much! My husband and his whole family. Love, prayers and blessings for you and community ❤️ 🙏
There are some many channels about narcissists abuse. By far your explanations on theses individuals is to the point . Have come in count with 4 of them 2 women and 2 men . I have personally experienced there wickedness one of the women. Was my younger sister had no title for her but wicked person. Who willfully destroyed all three of her children. Your content is always accurate about these people.
Thank you, Jill Wise. This very helpful. 💙
Your hair looks very good like this.
Thank you so much
As the people pleasing, cPTSD, neurodivergent, scapegoat of the family I have been accused of being a vulnerable narcissist. Narcissists and their flying monkeys are quick to claim that others are abusing them, even if it is not true. When you have been through hardships (which is likely have - you probably were narcissistically abused in your family of origin) & have had setbacks, or ill-health (you probably will as a result of the narcissistic abuse you are experiencing) or in general just had a raw deal, talking about your life experience does not make you a covert narcissist. Some attention should be given to the horrific position a victim of narcissistic abuse finds themselves in and what response & reaction traps to fall into. My reactions & responses (& my neurodivergence) have been weaponised against me.
This was pure gold Jill, Thank you so much for this, Seeing through the facades and masks :-) Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-)
Thank you so much❤ You help me so much to heal and take care of myself🎉
I've dated 2 "loyal friends" and married a guy who was "such a nice guy".
The thing about the "loyal friends guy" that drove me crazy was how they were always available and ready to help anyone. But if I asked for anything they couldn't be bothered or were too tired from helping everyone else.
The "he's such a nice guy" was the worst one of all. The smear campaign was a subtle slow burn that started the minute we were in a committed relationship. (Unbeknownst to me). Every time I tried talking to my friends or family about what he was doing, I was told I must've misunderstood him because they couldn't imagine him doing anything close to what I described.
Thanks so much for all your posts, there was a one about boundaries last week I have saved to my phone about healing and not responsible for anyones healing but our own
Wow, you nailed these. Mine was the hardworking underdog 100% always the victim at work always self centred how she couldn’t pay her bills and how she needed me to run around taking care of all her whims n wants. They can’t keep it up indefinitely my ex was always going to doctors and hospital, I think she was wearing herself out with all the negative energy and deviousness. They are vile demons, run soon as you understand what you’re dealing with !
The persona in public vs what is in private … at least what I’ve seen from at least 4 NPDs (2 family members ). They don’t hold up their persona in private for very long but don’t let it slip in public .., they are incapable of having an interest or able to have an in depth conversation .. I think they get lost in creative thinking as so much is memorized in their lives .. therefore the changing of subject often
I love your beautiful blouses Jill.
🙏🌺💜
Well Said..!
Hello doctor, could you make a video about the covert and psychosomatic narcissistic mother who uses her illness or makes it up to get attention from her adult son or daughter?
Oh wow! There is at least 7 of 10 there! 😱
My partner of 18 years. I'm working on a permanent break now 💔
I've learned alot from various channels and realised my Mil was definitely a narcissist. I now think my partner is a covert narcissist. It's hard because once you know, YOU KNOW!! It's going to be a difficult Christmas this year 🎄🙄
it was my sister Valerie all these years 50 plus years I'm sure of it now it has all fallen into place it all adds up now she's behind the entire façade the other two had to go with it for profit they couldn't help me for fear of severe poverty I made it to 66 I wont make 67 its all going bad now its just insanity
mom died in 87 dad 2011 he left her in charge of everything she got the mine I got the shaft
I believe my narcissistic mother and sister pretends to be sensitive parent and family members. I have a feeling my narcissistic mother also uses the hardworking underdog, seeing how she is doing at work.
Have you ever looked into having your videos translated into other languages? Please ,trust me so many cultures here in America and the whole world have narcs. I am dealing with a narc immigrant. Start with the Chinese language. good Video! Dr. Roberta Schaler passed away. She helped so many in our community. She was doing her videos while on an oxygen tank all the way to her end. She came up with the term hijackyl
I didn’t even know I could do that.
@@theenlightenedtarget If it does not cost to much might be a good idea. However I believe you have a good thing going. Good Job
😭 How am I supposed to come up with new strategies if you keep unmasking me in every next video?? 😭
they made a credit union account for me when I was born god only knows how much was in there I never saw it she must have got it I bet it was big lots of money
Jill - the streak continues, the Undertaker's not a patch on the Enlightened Target.
the concerned critic...yup, met that one a few times.
I'm worried about you...well bloody stop!! worry about someone else!!
and you'll find the passive-aggressive 'peacemaker' in the workplace, controlling the narrative. Or so I'm told 🙂
BTW you can spot a narcissistic artist from a mile back - their art tends not to be very good...
Guess we're all narcissists 😢 🤷♀️
It is on a continuum. The difference between the two is underhandedness and deceit. Looking for sympathy and pulling manipulation when they receive sympathy while others pull shadows moves. Like gaslighting, hacking and stalking, manipulation, causing havoc and drama and chaos. Usually to create smoke screens to take the focus off their shitty behavior.
Speak for your self weirdo
Sounds like you're describing everyone's personality generally.
A Narcissist can have all these feelings and behaviours, I don't deny it.
Isn't lack of empathy the one thing that they don't possess?
I feel you could be describing people who are Neurodivergent too, who are often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic and when in fact its Autism
My ex friend was the “loyal friend and joker” very nasty person
Smh 😮
My ex did all of these. Vile people
9:00 they act so dumb
Living a war is not that easy pal i promise
Can some one label each disguise in the comments please?? This video is too long to watch 😑
Gee, this sounds just like our next president. Hmmm. 🤢👹🇺🇲
🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑
Fortunately she lost.
OMG! this is so true. That's what I was getting fed with by my former partner....word to word. 🫣