Black women don’t be ashamed of being darker or lighter skinned. Don’t be ashamed of having a smaller or a thicker larger frame. Don’t be ashamed of having thicker-coily hair or having thinner-curly hair. Don’t be ashamed to date outside of your race. Love you❤️.
Casablanca Durant I’m glad you do. I my self is like a caramel brown so some may consider me as light skinned, but I’m not. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced colorism but I’ve seen it so many times to both dark skinned and lighter skinned men and women. Who of course have have different struggles. But neither complexion deserves a bad rep, we need to uplift each other and treat people like people. Especially black people😭❤️.
@@hope.4298 Yeah girl, but I have 2 problems. My problem is when darkskins dismiss me because I'm light skin and have this some sort of "privilege" And they can't even tell me how. My second problem is how we have these labels, light skin and dark skin in the first place.
Kawaii Tube Tbh I’m not sure if you have “light skin privilege”, but I do know in the media (tv shows, movies, music industry, etc) they perfer lighter skinned people and that’s about it. Around the world though, people usually see dark-skinned men and women face colorism more than light skinned people. Which could be the reason why label “light skinned privilege” but I don’t believe in that🤷🏽♀️. That’s not fair to not acknowledge lighter skinned people as well. Unfortunately the skin tone issue came from slavery. I really wished some black people liked someone because of their character not their skin tone🙄. I hope I answered your question❤️.
@@hope.4298 I used to get bullied alot by other dudes when I was a kid for being "too dark". My biggest regret is I tried to lighten my skin as a kid so that maybe I could stop getting bullied. It took a lot of counseling but I'm glad I didn't pull through with lightening my skin
Daniel Muriithi I am so sorry that you had to experience that. It’s truly sad how colorism has impacted our lives since we were children. It’s absolutely terrible that you felt like you needed to bleach your skin and I am so glad you didn’t. Just know that being darker skinned isn’t a curse, it’s a blessing. Just because those dudes are self hating, just know that you don’t have to be. You are beautiful.❤️
lol no it just means they can see the future and would like it to look a certain way. Is it fetishism if i want to be rich succesful marry a beautiful wife? what's fetishm? having a preference of how you want your life to look like? if so then sure but it's ultimately pointless. I want kids with "lose curly hair not straight or too kinky", i want darker skinned tone, and if possible blue eyes, is that fetishm? so a person should not be willing to have a preference if it doesnt' fit a societally accepted narrative lool?
@@Babyluv_ evething in life is a bias. The difenition of that term means chosing one and not another. There is no difference between the two, it's just one makes you feel better that you arenl;t a bad person. This is bread from narcicism. You see i want a girl that isn't fat is dark to medium tone, light eyes and lose curled hair, (girlfriend) and i want kids that are just cute, this is a bias because i don't want ugly kids or light kids or kids with tight coils or straight hair.
@@KAIZORIANEMPIRE I KNOW the definition of "bias". If you understand the definition, you'd understand that choosing "good hair" and "pretty eyes" is a bias. Preference would indicate that the individual is open to the choices available but would prefer one of the choices. However, would be content with either choice. Wanting "Good hair" and not wanting someone with the "bad hair" is not a preference; it's a BIAS.
@@Babyluv_ ??? no my friend they are both baises, read a dictionary. Bias is chosing one thing over another, it doesn't mean you can't chose something else. Also these people who want good hair, it's not like i wouldn't have a child if she has bad hair, i would just do everything to make sure she has good hair. This is really how some women reason? again you ignored everything i said. Would you date me a fat ugly dude? NO you won't, because you have preference and bias towards what ever you are "attracted to", lol. Think through what i have said before responding
ada ekwutife Well some of us men have that preference because we find some features from different ethic groups or different races more attractive than others like for me I like White and Black/ African woman more than other ethic/race groups of woman that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date outside that its just my preference of woman 🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
VonGoCrazy for me i just have a culture preference you know what i mean ? like i never really had a preference but i noticed i have a pattern where i always end up with boys of the same race because of the culture . i feel like if i can relate more it just makes me gravitate toward them
Literally seeing a fine black man and having to wonder as a black girl if he likes black is exhausting asf and quite frankly I will never understand. Or if they do like black girls there is a certain type, like she gotta have a small waist big butt long curly hair and has to be of a certain skin tone. When they go for non-black women they take them in each variety or as whatever ad it's literally so exhausting. And not limiting myself to races, go where you are appreciated, but I just find it very sad and weird. That's where loving yourself comes to play, someone doesn't have to like you for you to be valuable.
I’ll give you skin tone but body type and other features is off limits because best believe know what they attracted to. Wether it’s how tall they ,are they in shape etc.
You see somebody and you have to wonder, who or what they are attracted to. 🤔🤔 I don’t see the problem. I really just don’t see how that’s some big inconvenience. I see more of a problem in you assuming or saying he is or should be attracted to black women.
@@Abunkers Not my point, but I understand what you mean. It's the fact that why would you, a black man feel the need to bash and put down black girls and for features that you also have. Now I don't care what people like that your preference, I will just never understand how you can not like your race and sometimes they go beyond not finding us attractive but also just plain disrespecting and degrading us for lighter skin or non black women, which is ignorant and unnecessary btw. A type should be personality or who makes you feel good in my opinion that's why type isn't a race
@samara. thankyou cause I needed that and I don't worry if they like us I just feel really sad that thats our community and that we do that to eachother as black people and thankyou again because we are the prize. It's just a problem that we have to do that in our community where we should be uplifted but yea I definitely am going where I am appreciated.
i feel like there's a difference between naturally leaning towards a certain race and completely barring yourself from dating another race or saying "i would never date _____ race". preferring a race (and even skin tone) that's not your own isn't really self hate/colorism imo. HOWEVER their race shouldn't be the main reason you want to be with them. their personality is just as important, if not more important.
I’m sorry some of y’all seem confused. Having a preference is fine and dandy but when it is based off of someone’s skin tone that is an issue. I’ve heard guys say “I only mess with light skin girls”, that’s a colorist mindset. Why would you date someone based on their skin tone? It’s weird.
Guys will say "I don't date dark skins" like all dark skins looks the same, they're not dark skin themselves, and don't have dark skin family. Like are you aware of how diverse people of the same complexion can look? How can you automatically not be attracted to someone because of their skin colour...
@samara. And I disagree with that too 🤷🏽♀️ I fully understand that it is one thing to have a preference for dark skin, light skin, or whatever physical attribute you find attractive. But it should not be reason to perpetuate stereotypes and/or put down those who do not fit your personal standards of beauty.
@samara. Damn preach you sound well educated in this topic , the arab slave trade that was really active sinds the year 650 til 1900 in east africa , also had the idea that a darker complexion was masculine and white complexion was more feminine.seems like it had a effect on people.and ofcoure the extra indoctrination of the europeans.
I'm dark skin and I've never struggled with my confidence because my father and men in my family always gave me complements so I believed it. I Never let these lil boys fazed me when they say colorist shit. I went to a private school all my life and so it never really happened to me often. It shocks me when darkskin women don't consider themselves beautiful or insecure but I understand why.
I'm not dark skin and definitely not light skin but yeah I can definitely relate to not having racist remarks thrown at me for being black and my features and getting nothing but compliments all my life but I can sympathize with girls/women who do.
i hate how the same people who perpetuate colorism in the community are the same ones who pretend to have amnesia when dark skin black women and girls talk about their experiences
I feel like texturism goes hand in hand with colorism despite getting overlooked sometimes. Like you can be lightskin but you ALSO have to have the "right" hair texture to meet society's Eurocentric beauty standards
Meron Tadesse This is true. If you do have a kinkier texture, it must be long or it’s not accepted. I’ve noticed women with looser textures are praised and they look down on kinkier textures. It’s ignorant and disgusting. Black hair is unique, that’s why they hate it.
yeah like this mixed guy (white and black) said i looked better than some black girls he knows bc my natural hair is long and that i have a straighter (euro) nose.. i stopped messing with him. what's crazy too is that he said he liked me better bc i'm more "calmer" and more "chill". i rlly hated these -ists. ugh
God made me black, with darker skin, and tight 4c hair and said...work with it. Anyway...I love every part of me and have had to learn to over the years.
As a brown skin girl, it is so EASY to hate black men because of how easily they hate on dark skin black women. I have to often remind myself that not all black men are colorists but it's so hard because the hateful one's are so loud and the loving one's are so quiet.
Thank you for acknowledging that there are black men that LOVE black women. And no we are not as loud as the idiots that hate on black women because we're busy out here trying to build a better world for them.
Adding on to what you said about people hyping up black women on social media because they know we don't get much attention, I saw a video and the girl (she's a dark skin black girl) said that no other race celebrates being liked and she's so right. On tik tok, when a guy says he likes dark skins, the girls are so happy in the comments and it is so sad.
Featurism and texturism dont get talked about enough too. Like a black person with a wide flat nose will get more hate than a black person with a thin nose.
Thank you. Featurism is coupled with colorism. A dark skin Black woman with traditionally attractive features is still considered a Black Barbie. Features determine attractiveness, and since we as the “Black community” were not able to determine our own beauty politics so most everyone has been indoctrinated to some degree to see Eurocentric features as most beautiful
Yeah okay, and how are YOU gonna fix that. We have too many of these "isms" and it seems like they're only there so people can complain. Get up and do something about it!
Lmao there's no solution to this and you dont need an ism. There's general perceptions of beauty and then there's personal preferences of beauty. Im not attracted to people with my same skin tone or look to similar but I'm not opposed to that person if I end up falling in love with them because of how they look. This is simply the same idea as dont judge a book by its cover proverb but you have to define how books look and try to dissect why some people judge books for x y or z. You can't change humanities freedom of thought
Doesn’t preference mean something like: I prefer apple juice over orange juice. I still like orange juice but if I had both of them next to each other I would pick the apple juice to drink. Why is preference being used as a word like “I DONT” or “I WOULDNT”
The definition of preference isn’t being misunderstood. Ppl say outright they don’t date DS girls or anyone that isn’t light skinned. That’s not a preference, that’s a bias.
If they say they like light skins there gonna be harrassed by dark skin girls. It's a problem of insecurity there trying to pass off on light skins by telling them their privileged, when if you ask a darkskin what issues do they face that light skins don't, they can only state a few personal instances. I think this is the REAL problem here.
Kawaii Tube are you even a black person? i keep seeing you in every comment thread trying to convince everyone that colourism is not a real issue or is completely made up. you sound exactly like the “all lives matter” protesters when they try to undermine the black lives matter movement by denying the existence of racism.
It’s so sad because as a darkskin girl the people who would pick on me when I was younger would be brownskin and darkskin boys and that was probably because of their own self-hatred
Okay so I’m black lmfao. My moms light skinned but my dads dark so I’m honestly in between. I’ve always been called a lil chocolate drop. Anyway, I think at a very young age I felt self conscious ab my skin and being black in general. I was always one of few black kids in my classes in elementary, and as young as kindergarten I noticed the differences. The Spanish girls wouldn’t wanna play hand clap games w me and it honestly made me think “do they think I’m dirty”. And when they did play they wouldn’t really touch my hands and they always lightly tapped them. I used to be maddd confused. I remember one day at recess we were all laying on the ground with our faces up to the sun and one girl said “oh my god you’re getting lighterrr” like it was a good thing, and sadly I thought it was too. I graduate high school this year and over these years I’ve met people who are both darker and lighter than me and have witnessed both racism and disgusting colorism. And don’t get me started on how some teachers act when they see a black girl (like me) in their AP and honors classes. That’s a whole nother story
This is why I’m against black children being educated by nonblacks. Racist media and parents instill this anti black ideas in their kids. It makes me sick. 🤮 Some Spanish girls have always been jealous of black women. I support you 100%. Don’t let them win. You are beautiful and deserve the best in life.
can we talk about how some black girls will really gas guys up for liking black women/ non light skin women? idk i feel like that behavior shouldn’t be praised
i totally understand why because anyone being vocal about their admiration for black women is surprising but we deserve more than being called food that match our skin tones
Having a preference of skin color means you would date ALL complexions but prefer one over the other.. ppl be bashing dark skinwomen then claim its preference 🥱
( I’ve never been this early LMAOO ) anywho, I remember going into middle school, there were about 5 black girls in my grade ( including me ) and I always noticed how differently people treated me compared to them, I wouldn’t say I’m “ light skin “ but I have a lighter complex. people ( especially the black boys omg ) would make fun of them, make jokes about there hair, call them ghetto, etc . It was honestly so sad to watch, at the end of the day we’re still BLACK. light skin, brown skin, and dark skin. WERE ALL BLACK. I don’t understand why someone can be treated differently solely off of the color of there skin.
Right and I hate those tiktoks where it’s like how light skins get killed how dark skins get killed and they have the light skins doing something fancy and have the dark skins just getting shot and dying. Or like how light skins dance to this sound. Like not all light skins dance like that to this and some dark skins dance like that too
shani tillman what lmao...💀 I’m close friends with all of them, I’ve stuck up for them/defended them multiple times, what the hell are you talking about.
a preference is one thing based on who you find attractive generally but to say ‘i would only date ____’ or ‘i wouldn’t date ____’ is just unacceptable imo🤷🏽♀️ if you feel the need to speak on that preference you should re-evaluate
exactly! if u bash another race to uplift another one that's definitely rooted in colorism. there's a difference between "leaning" towards one race/certain races in general and forcing yourself to not date a certain race.
NXRTH you’re “allowed” to do whatever you want. if someone were to claim that they would only date a specific race, or never date a specific race, that’s definitely wrong. the only possible reasoning behind that is rooted in racism. so yea, it’s wrong
@@kyleighcruz5527 And im saying theres nothing wrong with finding certain races/tones more sexually attractive than others and sticking to those. The problem arises when us dark men feel the need to put down and insult our dark sisters just because of our preference.
@@nxrth9463 Well, some of y'all doesn't know what preference even means. Preference doesn't mean I don't like/do this for XYZ reasons. It means I prefer this over that. I can say I prefer apples over oranges, but that doesn't mean that I talk shit about oranges or I that wouldn't eat an orange. I just happen to like apples more. There are so many black men who straight up say, I don't date black women because of XYZ and that's where it becomes colorism.
this is exactly one of the reasons I never wanted to go to an hbcu....I grew up in a mostly white area (northern VA) and the 3% of black kids in my grade gave me hell (girls and some boys). I would rather deal with other races than black people. The black kids that did go to my school YEARNED for white acceptance so badly IT WAS REPULSIVE. One time I was in the bathroom and this white girl who didn't even know me was mad that I made the track team. (she got kicked off the team for some reason). She went into the bathroom and said to two black girls ( one light skin & one dark skin ) "I don't even know why she's here??her skin's too dark" and the black girls said NOTHING. it's sad to be the only woke black person in a sea of sunken place, whitewashed black people that CRAVE WHITE ACCEPTANCE.
As a dark skin black girl I've been bullied over my skin complexion, particularly from guys who were the same shade as I was. Literally before I could even speak, a lot of them would go out of their way to insult or belittle me. I didn't understand why at the time, but as I got older it was apparent that they didn't like me because of my skin pigment. (Don't get me wrong, not all black guys I came across treated me like this, but a lot have). I'm open to dating any race, but I steer away from black guys who are my pigment because I assume that they might view me as "disgusting", "ugly" or other things that black guys have called me in the past. I don't want to have this mindset, because of course not all black guys are like this but the way I was bullied back then makes me not want to take my chances.
Cmon Kai you betta speak on it!!! But its literally the fact that i went on a date with a lightskin male, one that i didnt even want to go on, and i even told him this prior to the date, but i lowkey went just to get him off my back. He had the nerve to tell me i was pretty for a black girl. chile i had to check him so quick...
one light skin I had something with kept trying to tell me I was mixed, even though I told him multiple times I wasn't. They don't want to except the fact that fully black girls are beautiful. They try to imply to be beautiful you have to be mixed. I hate it here.
ever noticed that the "beautiful dark-skinned girl" has very euro-centric features? like they'd have a smaller, thinner nose, or not as full lips... like those girls are often the exception, or the example people would use when they say something like "how could you not like dark skinned girls" so even when they decide to give praise to the darker girls, the "beautiful" ones don't have the regular-shegular black girl jay-z lips (for reference) of a big nose. to me it's like saying that the gold standard for beauty is that whole european look... i've never heard anyone really praise a dark girl with them oversised black features, they just get laughed at. even lightskinned people with them oversised features aren't generally called "drop dead gorgeous" but people are more inclined to like give them as lil pass because they have lighter skin...
Colourism is TERRIBLE here in Jamaica. Focusing on the dating aspect, men more often than not only pursue light skin women and as a result many dark skin women have unfortunately bleached their skin just to have a lighter complexion so that men will see them as "attractive". I don't even think it's gonna get any better cuz our songs continue to perpetuate the "preference" of light skin women.
According to my Jamaican friend some men bleach their skin too. So obviously dark skin men are suffering from colorism as well. It's not just the women.
@@realantagonist5324 Yeah a lot of them do too. It's obvious that both women and men are highly insecure and aren't truly appreciative of their complexion. It's really sad :(
I feel like we as black women need to stop caring about the opinions of colorist men. Like you should not want colorist men to date you or find you attractive (and most importantly you should not try to convince them). Men like that do not love themselves and you should honestly just feel sorry for them. Black women have shown time and time again that we are the blueprint, the standard and at this point what’s understood does not need to be explained.
I don’t understand why any women want a man that would grade their children on their skin tone. And if they have a preference for light or dark skin then how could they not.
Kai Foster is really such a wise person. She knows where she stands in the world and she is not afraid to expose issues on the platform she has. Honestly really awesome - she is hustling with the youtube shit as well as being an activist for her community 💓 big respect
Not really she's complaining about people who degrade and put down dark skin people... 9:00 in the video she reads a tweet and says light skins so what people call you soft and feminine get over it, it's just your feelings getting hurt...she literally contradicted herself
When i was in middle school I was a darker complexion than I am now, and this boy who was also black told me I was the darkest black person in the school (besides from another black girl who had African parents). But he said it as if it were a bad thing and he laughed at the fact I was darker. I think about that shit a lot. Like huh???
I’m mixed Latino black and I don’t appreciate no other girls then African, Caribbean, and black women I don’t care what color I can’t switch up I’m darker that my black dad and my moms Mexican so I had a lot of experience with colorism and I only have good experiences with Africans so I really learnt how to appreciate them my friends even times when me and my family were homeless my moms African friend took us in for a whole winter and some of the black men today don’t understand the beauty of full black and African women which is sad they don’t know themselves
All types and shades of bw mostly prefer darkskin bm it sucks as a light skin guy. That prefers bw of all shades. Being a lightskin guy is only good when your into ww or latina's. I like black/mixed ones though.
@@ladybird491 it doesn’t matter if you’re lighter light skin is a whole spectrum. I’m a shade darker than her and I’m still considered light and I’ve never been called “blackie” “blick” “monkey” like my other dark friends.
I remember once in the 10th grade my friend who I had a crush on asked me where I was from (I am 100% African, both of my parents are from Kenya) but I LIED and told him I was Jamaican and Kenyan bc I was so insecure of my African roots bc of bullying in the past. He responded "You're half Jamaican!? THAT's why you're so pretty!" & that really hurt me lmao (I obviously shouldn't have lied but still)
It's crazy how brainwashed Americans are into thinking that all Africans have dark skin or that they are ugly. One girl thought I was lying about both my parents being African just because my skin is a little lighter.
as a dark skinned woman, my thing with preferences is that there's a difference between just naturally leaning towards certain races while being okay with dating anyone and explicitly avoiding certain races. having a "preference", to an extent, isn't colorist, and neither is it colorist to uplift a race of a lighter complexion. it's when u bring down darker complexions while uplifting lighter ones or again, force yourself to avoid certain races and say that "i would never date _____ race" that you are sounding colorist and need to check your biases.
The whole “preference” stuff really urks me bc a lot of the time people don’t ask themselves why. Typically the why is rooted in a racist and/or colorist idea.
This is the story of my life. Your whole video is important especially for a lighter skinned people. More of us need to speak up about the disgusting nature of colorism. Black Men Are the WEAKEST link lol. In my own experience as I've gotten older I have started to question more and more when Black men ask me what my ethnicity is and now I gauge their reaction when I say I'm Black. If I get a reaction that is unsavory it's the first sign that they may be colorist and have just approached me because of my skin. I would never want to date someone who doesn't date their own skin complexion, that's a complex that needs to be eradicated.
Thank you for even acknowledging colorism in the Latinx community and other communities. It is very much prevalent in my community. Many people in the Latinx community forget that our AfroLatinx brothers and sisters exist because they are “too dark”, or don’t fit that standard of what people think a Latinx/Hispanic should look like. If anyone here had watched Latinx/Hispanic telanovelas (soap operas), the main cast is usually always light skinned Latinx/Hispanic. Even the “nicknames” we are called sound so much nicer for light Latinx/Hispanic people than for darker skinned people in our community. Light skinned people are usually called “Güero/a” which can be directly translated to blonde, but also refers to “whitey”. Where as darker Latinx/Hispanic members are referred to things such as “Negro” or “Moreno”, and other names in which I don’t know because I have the privilege to be light skinned. In the lottery game we have, there is a card that says “El Negro”, in which the card has a picture of a very dark man, who appears to be black.
Stop using the word Latinx. We latinos do not claim that term. Also, moreno just means brown and negro is literally the color black. Negro is not seen as a derogatory term.
Great video!! I just think that terms like Weakest Link, Angry Black Woman, etc. Should all be eliminated because it dehumanizes us and lowers our value.
Men get asked what their preference is and go on a rant about how much they hate dark skin girls like imagine if you were asked what your preference is for ice cream and you talk about how much you hate pistachio like where is the logic??
12:55 I completely agree not to long ago on straight tik tok 😐 there was a trend saying “I like dark skin love a Melanin.” And then just posting that and getting all the hype for saying they admire dark skins and on their account they only had videos with woman of light skin ... saying you like dark skins in a video and getting hype for it shouldn’t be a trend
I kind of recently made a video talking about 50cent and Lil Wayne and colorism and this guy was under my video and left FOUR comments (now gone because comment are turned off) telling me how I hate men and plenty of men date and marry black women and he was really bothered. I feel like if what I said wasn’t true he wouldn’t have been bothered
One very odd thing i see about discussions surrounding colorism on UA-cam is usually UA-cam creators insisting that colorism is a vicious tool that black Americans alone use and perpetuate against other black Americans. Yet many times in the same video, that UA-cam creator says there are stats showing differing treatment of black Americans in the job market, the criminal Justice system, etc which can be understood as widespread colorism in American at large. So why do these UA-cam creators seem to go back to focusing on colorism as an internal black racial problem when it clearly is not?
People (especially black men) need to understand that having a preference does not mean you will never date someone who does not have certain desired features. Personality is a huge factor in who you end up getting romantically involved with; it’s not all about looks. If you prefer light skins, whatever, do what makes you happy. But if you REFUSE to date dark skins on the basis of that preference, that’s COLORISM. You just use the word “preference” to thinly veil your colorist beliefs.
I feel like we’re all making more videos about colorist now because we’re so tired now more than ever, but people cannot only go out of their way to date the exact opposite of them (ex. A DSBM only dating LS woman) and call that a preference. That’s a fetish. Also I can’t believe that some people really think that the brown paper bag test went away, now it’s just that everyone is using it not just YT people. White people use it when they want “black” people in tv shows or movies and black people (most of the time blk men) use it when choosing who to date.
i think ppl refuse to acknowledge how big if an issue colorism actually is worldwide. even myself as a Hispanic, I liked myself more when I was less tan and I avoided being in the sun bc i didn't want to look more hispanic. From an early age, I noticed that my cousins were whiter looking than me and I wanted to be able to assimilate into the white standard like them. I even disliked my facial features bc they were too big. I sense that ppl at school think I'm prettier and praise me more when I'm light. My friends also complain about how dark they are after being in the sun. Granted I still have to work through these issues myself but it takes so much effort when you've been taught to hate parts of yourself coming out of the womb. At least now I'm aware of this and can work against it. Colorism and featurism affects Asians and Hispanics greatly but i think in a different way from black communites bc dark skin blacks are the ones getting actual hate.
I may be in the middle but the darker you are, the harder it is with colorism. I’ve been experiencing it since my later years of elementary school from both light skin girls and dark skin boys. When it came to dating and socializing in high school, black boys were the only ones that picked and chose when to deal with me; they spoke to me when I was around dark skin girls and ignored me when I was around light skin girls.
As lighter skinned girl, I used to think it made me special too because I knew that if I was darker I'd be considered uglier.(smh🤦🏽♀️) Also, I liked how some people assumed I was mixed. I had a lot of self hate back then.
yet what you fail to realize is that darker skin tones are beautiful. Normani, Teyana Taylor, Sydney J Harper, Jayda Cheaves. They are all darker skin tones and run circles around the everyday light skin.
@@JaihlaTillman So I'm not beautiful. I'm not beautiful because I don't got that "Gorgeous creamy dark skin" Because dark skins are better. They simply just are. Your really hurting us yknow? Being told were privileged everyday is enough. But now people like you go ahead and say "darker skin tones are beautiful." Why should I care about your "issues" then. It's like your forcing people to believe that, to devalue all lighter skin complexions. You want colorism to end? Your not beautiful, your everyone else.
TheOtherFWord I just read this article and it is fantastic. They choose white even if they are not. They exclude black because of the conditioning of racism and colorism. Its disgusting. Preferences are always a joke to me. Hollywood has definitely made sure they are the top and best looking even if they are not. Racist systems!
As a dark skin woman living in the south colorism is very prevalent in the Southern states(South Carolina, Atlanta Georgia, Alabama, etc.) not so much up North.
@Arcane Raven yea I live in Maryland too I mostly see light skin girl, dark skin/brownskin guy couples. That's just the world we live in I RARELY see any real, good black love.
I'm from Germany and I'm more attracted to dark skin/ brown skin woman than white woman. Many people don't understand why I would "prefer a black/ brownskin woman over a white woman". Even my black friends are more into white blonde woman. There is some kind of "teached racism" by society (worldwide), which teaches kids that black/dark is bad and white/blonde is beautiful. Meanwhile people in china walk around with umbrellas to avoid a tan and people in west africa use "whitening lotions"... Dark skined woman are beautiful. There is no more to say.
@2:40 I can attest to the deeply rooted colorism in the latin community. As a light skin women I am very well aware of the privilege I have. Unfortunately majority of my community isn’t ready for this conversation.
I want to thank you for taking time out of your life to address the black experience SPECIFICALLY for darker skinned women. There aren't many black people that do this, let alone light skinned. Thank you for being woke, it is very refreshing.😇
Colorism specifically in the black community is perpetuated by self hate, however self hate is not the origin of colorism. Colorism is the product of white supremacy and that’s where the self hatred comes from. It’s way deeper rooted.
I think its alright for people to have certain preferences. Everyone has a preference. It's the name calling on social media and the disrespect I don't like. Have your preference, leave people alone and stop being mean to people.
How I view the word “preference” is what a person typically dates or looks for in a person or what shade of skin they unintentionally find theirselves attracted to. However, having a preference for darker skinned or lighter skinned women isn’t a bad thing in my opinion UNTIL you refuse to date a lighter or darker skinned woman SOLELY based on their skin... Remember, a real man doesn’t gaf about what shade of skin you are. A good woman is a good woman and a REAL man would never pass up on that...
Since then colorism is a global issue especially within the black community and also to some part of the world but for me black skin is beautiful. I hope we should learn to open our heart and accept people from different races...
Yeah my problem was I never felt special because the people showing that preference were dark so they were condemning themselves like why would I to be prefered by someone who is unhealthy and has low self esteem?
Black women don’t be ashamed of being darker or lighter skinned. Don’t be ashamed of having a smaller or a thicker larger frame. Don’t be ashamed of having thicker-coily hair or having thinner-curly hair. Don’t be ashamed to date outside of your race. Love you❤️.
Casablanca Durant I’m glad you do. I my self is like a caramel brown so some may consider me as light skinned, but I’m not. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced colorism but I’ve seen it so many times to both dark skinned and lighter skinned men and women. Who of course have have different struggles. But neither complexion deserves a bad rep, we need to uplift each other and treat people like people. Especially black people😭❤️.
@@hope.4298 Yeah girl, but I have 2 problems. My problem is when darkskins dismiss me because I'm light skin and have this some sort of "privilege" And they can't even tell me how. My second problem is how we have these labels, light skin and dark skin in the first place.
Kawaii Tube Tbh I’m not sure if you have “light skin privilege”, but I do know in the media (tv shows, movies, music industry, etc) they perfer lighter skinned people and that’s about it. Around the world though, people usually see dark-skinned men and women face colorism more than light skinned people. Which could be the reason why label “light skinned privilege” but I don’t believe in that🤷🏽♀️. That’s not fair to not acknowledge lighter skinned people as well. Unfortunately the skin tone issue came from slavery. I really wished some black people liked someone because of their character not their skin tone🙄. I hope I answered your question❤️.
@@hope.4298 I used to get bullied alot by other dudes when I was a kid for being "too dark". My biggest regret is I tried to lighten my skin as a kid so that maybe I could stop getting bullied. It took a lot of counseling but I'm glad I didn't pull through with lightening my skin
Daniel Muriithi I am so sorry that you had to experience that. It’s truly sad how colorism has impacted our lives since we were children. It’s absolutely terrible that you felt like you needed to bleach your skin and I am so glad you didn’t. Just know that being darker skinned isn’t a curse, it’s a blessing. Just because those dudes are self hating, just know that you don’t have to be. You are beautiful.❤️
If someone’s dating “preference” is based on whether their future kids will have “good hair” and “pretty eyes,” that’s colorism and fetishization
Agreed. That’s a bias. Not a preference.
lol no it just means they can see the future and would like it to look a certain way. Is it fetishism if i want to be rich succesful marry a beautiful wife? what's fetishm? having a preference of how you want your life to look like? if so then sure but it's ultimately pointless. I want kids with "lose curly hair not straight or too kinky", i want darker skinned tone, and if possible blue eyes, is that fetishm? so a person should not be willing to have a preference if it doesnt' fit a societally accepted narrative lool?
@@Babyluv_ evething in life is a bias. The difenition of that term means chosing one and not another. There is no difference between the two, it's just one makes you feel better that you arenl;t a bad person. This is bread from narcicism. You see i want a girl that isn't fat is dark to medium tone, light eyes and lose curled hair, (girlfriend) and i want kids that are just cute, this is a bias because i don't want ugly kids or light kids or kids with tight coils or straight hair.
@@KAIZORIANEMPIRE I KNOW the definition of "bias". If you understand the definition, you'd understand that choosing "good hair" and "pretty eyes" is a bias. Preference would indicate that the individual is open to the choices available but would prefer one of the choices. However, would be content with either choice. Wanting "Good hair" and not wanting someone with the "bad hair" is not a preference; it's a BIAS.
@@Babyluv_ ??? no my friend they are both baises, read a dictionary. Bias is chosing one thing over another, it doesn't mean you can't chose something else. Also these people who want good hair, it's not like i wouldn't have a child if she has bad hair, i would just do everything to make sure she has good hair. This is really how some women reason? again you ignored everything i said. Would you date me a fat ugly dude? NO you won't, because you have preference and bias towards what ever you are "attracted to", lol. Think through what i have said before responding
Lots of men have a "preference" for who they date or like, but it's really why you have that "preference" for me.
Also must they say it like nobody asked 🙄🤦♂️
omg my cousin has the exact same first and last name as you
Jimmy walker lol this is true unless the conversation is brought up people just assume.
ada ekwutife Well some of us men have that preference because we find some features from different ethic groups or different races more attractive than others like for me I like White and Black/ African woman more than other ethic/race groups of woman that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date outside that its just my preference of woman 🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
VonGoCrazy for me i just have a culture preference you know what i mean ? like i never really had a preference but i noticed i have a pattern where i always end up with boys of the same race because of the culture . i feel like if i can relate more it just makes me gravitate toward them
Literally seeing a fine black man and having to wonder as a black girl if he likes black is exhausting asf and quite frankly I will never understand. Or if they do like black girls there is a certain type, like she gotta have a small waist big butt long curly hair and has to be of a certain skin tone. When they go for non-black women they take them in each variety or as whatever ad it's literally so exhausting. And not limiting myself to races, go where you are appreciated, but I just find it very sad and weird. That's where loving yourself comes to play, someone doesn't have to like you for you to be valuable.
I’ll give you skin tone but body type and other features is off limits because best believe know what they attracted to. Wether it’s how tall they ,are they in shape etc.
You see somebody and you have to wonder, who or what they are attracted to. 🤔🤔 I don’t see the problem. I really just don’t see how that’s some big inconvenience. I see more of a problem in you assuming or saying he is or should be attracted to black women.
if you act feminine and are his preferred shape should be a go
@@Abunkers Not my point, but I understand what you mean. It's the fact that why would you, a black man feel the need to bash and put down black girls and for features that you also have. Now I don't care what people like that your preference, I will just never understand how you can not like your race and sometimes they go beyond not finding us attractive but also just plain disrespecting and degrading us for lighter skin or non black women, which is ignorant and unnecessary btw. A type should be personality or who makes you feel good in my opinion that's why type isn't a race
@samara. thankyou cause I needed that and I don't worry if they like us I just feel really sad that thats our community and that we do that to eachother as black people and thankyou again because we are the prize. It's just a problem that we have to do that in our community where we should be uplifted but yea I definitely am going where I am appreciated.
When “preference” is based on skin tone it’s COLORIST point blank period. Your basis for dating someone shouldn’t be their skin tone
i feel like preferences should be about personality types and characteristics but not race/ skin tone
@@notWhiteFerrari yes they should
i feel like there's a difference between naturally leaning towards a certain race and completely barring yourself from dating another race or saying "i would never date _____ race". preferring a race (and even skin tone) that's not your own isn't really self hate/colorism imo. HOWEVER their race shouldn't be the main reason you want to be with them. their personality is just as important, if not more important.
But isn't preference preferring something...why r people saying I don't like black girls it's a preference like no it's a type
I’m sorry some of y’all seem confused. Having a preference is fine and dandy but when it is based off of someone’s skin tone that is an issue. I’ve heard guys say “I only mess with light skin girls”, that’s a colorist mindset. Why would you date someone based on their skin tone? It’s weird.
Guys will say "I don't date dark skins" like all dark skins looks the same, they're not dark skin themselves, and don't have dark skin family. Like are you aware of how diverse people of the same complexion can look? How can you automatically not be attracted to someone because of their skin colour...
@Kaiser 2k I'd really love to understand what it means to be loud as a bw
just woke up one day and.....
It's goes both ways please stop just saying one side of the story.
Watch how angry they get when the girls they want tell them they don’t date black boys.
@@briasandifer210 im ok with that i can date other black girls
The dark skin = masculine and lightskin = feminine thing is so stupid to me 😒
It should b darkskin= flourishing and lightskin= flourishing. This is how I think anyways
@@stephaniesissons9978 100% agree w/ this!
@samara. And I disagree with that too 🤷🏽♀️ I fully understand that it is one thing to have a preference for dark skin, light skin, or whatever physical attribute you find attractive. But it should not be reason to perpetuate stereotypes and/or put down those who do not fit your personal standards of beauty.
@samara. Yeah...I understood the first time. And like I said, I don't condone it.
@samara. Damn preach you sound well educated in this topic , the arab slave trade that was really active sinds the year 650 til 1900 in east africa , also had the idea that a darker complexion was masculine and white complexion was more feminine.seems like it had a effect on people.and ofcoure the extra indoctrination of the europeans.
I'm dark skin and I've never struggled with my confidence because my father and men in my family always gave me complements so I believed it. I Never let these lil boys fazed me when they say colorist shit. I went to a private school all my life and so it never really happened to me often. It shocks me when darkskin women don't consider themselves beautiful or insecure but I understand why.
Same, we are truly blessed. That’s why at any opportunity I have i try to big up and complement my fellow darkskin sisters
Same my parents always made sure I was comfortable with my dark skin
@@jennifero4201 This energyyyy
Me too!! But I completely understand other perspectives and it’s painful to see ;(
I'm not dark skin and definitely not light skin but yeah I can definitely relate to not having racist remarks thrown at me for being black and my features and getting nothing but compliments all my life but I can sympathize with girls/women who do.
“If you’re offended that’s a personal problem” I need that statement framed and hanging on my wall ASAP😂
Or that's a u problem
Colorism is real in the black community and it’s sad how some people judge base on race than character 🤦🏾♀️
i hate how the same people who perpetuate colorism in the community are the same ones who pretend to have amnesia when dark skin black women and girls talk about their experiences
jesus christ 😅
Halle you sound ridiculous 🤔
I feel like texturism goes hand in hand with colorism despite getting overlooked sometimes. Like you can be lightskin but you ALSO have to have the "right" hair texture to meet society's Eurocentric beauty standards
Meron Tadesse This is true. If you do have a kinkier texture, it must be long or it’s not accepted. I’ve noticed women with looser textures are praised and they look down on kinkier textures. It’s ignorant and disgusting. Black hair is unique, that’s why they hate it.
yeah like this mixed guy (white and black) said i looked better than some black girls he knows bc my natural hair is long and that i have a straighter (euro) nose.. i stopped messing with him. what's crazy too is that he said he liked me better bc i'm more "calmer" and more "chill". i rlly hated these -ists. ugh
Yep featurism basically goes hand-in-hand in with colorism.
Yup and you can be dark with loose curls and then now everyone loves you cos of your “mixed” hair even when you’re fully black it’s all fucked up
God made me black, with darker skin, and tight 4c hair and said...work with it. Anyway...I love every part of me and have had to learn to over the years.
As a brown skin girl, it is so EASY to hate black men because of how easily they hate on dark skin black women. I have to often remind myself that not all black men are colorists but it's so hard because the hateful one's are so loud and the loving one's are so quiet.
this
Thank you for acknowledging that there are black men that LOVE black women. And no we are not as loud as the idiots that hate on black women because we're busy out here trying to build a better world for them.
Loving the thread rn 😭💕
@@chrisj8662 i fuckin love youu
In Africa here we love dark skin women, atleast that's the case for me
Adding on to what you said about people hyping up black women on social media because they know we don't get much attention, I saw a video and the girl (she's a dark skin black girl) said that no other race celebrates being liked and she's so right. On tik tok, when a guy says he likes dark skins, the girls are so happy in the comments and it is so sad.
Colorism is just such a tough and disgusting issue like the hate that people have for darkskin women is just disgusting and awful
Featurism and texturism dont get talked about enough too. Like a black person with a wide flat nose will get more hate than a black person with a thin nose.
Thank you. Featurism is coupled with colorism. A dark skin Black woman with traditionally attractive features is still considered a Black Barbie. Features determine attractiveness, and since we as the “Black community” were not able to determine our own beauty politics so most everyone has been indoctrinated to some degree to see Eurocentric features as most beautiful
this is so true
Yeah okay, and how are YOU gonna fix that. We have too many of these "isms" and it seems like they're only there so people can complain. Get up and do something about it!
@Yaqub-Har oh crack, I guess I'm going to the surgeons
Lmao there's no solution to this and you dont need an ism. There's general perceptions of beauty and then there's personal preferences of beauty. Im not attracted to people with my same skin tone or look to similar but I'm not opposed to that person if I end up falling in love with them because of how they look. This is simply the same idea as dont judge a book by its cover proverb but you have to define how books look and try to dissect why some people judge books for x y or z. You can't change humanities freedom of thought
Doesn’t preference mean something like: I prefer apple juice over orange juice. I still like orange juice but if I had both of them next to each other I would pick the apple juice to drink. Why is preference being used as a word like “I DONT” or “I WOULDNT”
IKR I was thinking the same thing
You're absolutely correct. People just don't know the real definition of words these days. I always witness people use words incorrectly.
Because in this case “preference “ really means exclusivity. They just disguise that word as a preference
!
The definition of preference isn’t being misunderstood. Ppl say outright they don’t date DS girls or anyone that isn’t light skinned. That’s not a preference, that’s a bias.
Tik tok boys would post a video saying that they “like” darkskins and people in the comments would be like “my respect for you went 📈📈📈”,
Meanwhile it’s mostly fetishization and not appreciation🤦🏾♀️
👆🏼 exactly. The bar is very low.
Subaru x Why would I applaud somebody for discriminating people based on their skin colour?😭💀
If they say they like light skins there gonna be harrassed by dark skin girls. It's a problem of insecurity there trying to pass off on light skins by telling them their privileged, when if you ask a darkskin what issues do they face that light skins don't, they can only state a few personal instances. I think this is the REAL problem here.
Kawaii Tube are you even a black person? i keep seeing you in every comment thread trying to convince everyone that colourism is not a real issue or is completely made up. you sound exactly like the “all lives matter” protesters when they try to undermine the black lives matter movement by denying the existence of racism.
It’s the “team light skin” “team dark skin” for me 🌚.
It’s so sad because as a darkskin girl the people who would pick on me when I was younger would be brownskin and darkskin boys and that was probably because of their own self-hatred
explain colorism to them
I am so sorry, they hate themselves it's not you.
Self hate taught to them by their mother.
I hope you healed /heal from the bullying 💕sending love and light !
Okay so I’m black lmfao. My moms light skinned but my dads dark so I’m honestly in between. I’ve always been called a lil chocolate drop. Anyway, I think at a very young age I felt self conscious ab my skin and being black in general. I was always one of few black kids in my classes in elementary, and as young as kindergarten I noticed the differences. The Spanish girls wouldn’t wanna play hand clap games w me and it honestly made me think “do they think I’m dirty”. And when they did play they wouldn’t really touch my hands and they always lightly tapped them. I used to be maddd confused. I remember one day at recess we were all laying on the ground with our faces up to the sun and one girl said “oh my god you’re getting lighterrr” like it was a good thing, and sadly I thought it was too. I graduate high school this year and over these years I’ve met people who are both darker and lighter than me and have witnessed both racism and disgusting colorism. And don’t get me started on how some teachers act when they see a black girl (like me) in their AP and honors classes. That’s a whole nother story
We have nearly identical situations and girl, let me tell you...you are not alone.
lock heart that means a lot 😭remember girl you’re beautiful people will always make us feel like we’re not
This is why I’m against black children being educated by nonblacks. Racist media and parents instill this anti black ideas in their kids. It makes me sick. 🤮 Some Spanish girls have always been jealous of black women. I support you 100%. Don’t let them win. You are beautiful and deserve the best in life.
How do the teachers in Ap/honors act?
can we talk about how some black girls will really gas guys up for liking black women/ non light skin women? idk i feel like that behavior shouldn’t be praised
Agreed, it’s so sad to see as well. Other races don’t do that 😕
i totally understand why because anyone being vocal about their admiration for black women is surprising but we deserve more than being called food that match our skin tones
@samara. and then he says he likes lightskins and youll hear something like. "WHY DONT YOU LIKE DARK HUH? YOU RACIST COLORIST UGLY FAT-"
Having a preference of skin color means you would date ALL complexions but prefer one over the other.. ppl be bashing dark skinwomen then claim its preference 🥱
( I’ve never been this early LMAOO ) anywho, I remember going into middle school, there were about 5 black girls in my grade ( including me ) and I always noticed how differently people treated me compared to them, I wouldn’t say I’m “ light skin “ but I have a lighter complex. people ( especially the black boys omg ) would make fun of them, make jokes about there hair, call them ghetto, etc . It was honestly so sad to watch, at the end of the day we’re still BLACK. light skin, brown skin, and dark skin. WERE ALL BLACK. I don’t understand why someone can be treated differently solely off of the color of there skin.
Right and I hate those tiktoks where it’s like how light skins get killed how dark skins get killed and they have the light skins doing something fancy and have the dark skins just getting shot and dying. Or like how light skins dance to this sound. Like not all light skins dance like that to this and some dark skins dance like that too
so im guessing you didn't stick up for them. typical
shani tillman what lmao...💀 I’m close friends with all of them, I’ve stuck up for them/defended them multiple times, what the hell are you talking about.
@@JaihlaTillman I was thinking the same.
a preference is one thing based on who you find attractive generally but to say ‘i would only date ____’ or ‘i wouldn’t date ____’ is just unacceptable imo🤷🏽♀️ if you feel the need to speak on that preference you should re-evaluate
exactly! if u bash another race to uplift another one that's definitely rooted in colorism. there's a difference between "leaning" towards one race/certain races in general and forcing yourself to not date a certain race.
So you arent allowed to only want date certain races? How is that wrong
NXRTH you’re “allowed” to do whatever you want. if someone were to claim that they would only date a specific race, or never date a specific race, that’s definitely wrong. the only possible reasoning behind that is rooted in racism. so yea, it’s wrong
@@kyleighcruz5527 And im saying theres nothing wrong with finding certain races/tones more sexually attractive than others and sticking to those. The problem arises when us dark men feel the need to put down and insult our dark sisters just because of our preference.
@@nxrth9463 Well, some of y'all doesn't know what preference even means. Preference doesn't mean I don't like/do this for XYZ reasons. It means I prefer this over that. I can say I prefer apples over oranges, but that doesn't mean that I talk shit about oranges or I that wouldn't eat an orange. I just happen to like apples more. There are so many black men who straight up say, I don't date black women because of XYZ and that's where it becomes colorism.
this is exactly one of the reasons I never wanted to go to an hbcu....I grew up in a mostly white area (northern VA) and the 3% of black kids in my grade gave me hell (girls and some boys). I would rather deal with other races than black people. The black kids that did go to my school YEARNED for white acceptance so badly IT WAS REPULSIVE. One time I was in the bathroom and this white girl who didn't even know me was mad that I made the track team. (she got kicked off the team for some reason). She went into the bathroom and said to two black girls ( one light skin & one dark skin ) "I don't even know why she's here??her skin's too dark" and the black girls said NOTHING. it's sad to be the only woke black person in a sea of sunken place, whitewashed black people that CRAVE WHITE ACCEPTANCE.
As a dark skin black girl I've been bullied over my skin complexion, particularly from guys who were the same shade as I was. Literally before I could even speak, a lot of them would go out of their way to insult or belittle me. I didn't understand why at the time, but as I got older it was apparent that they didn't like me because of my skin pigment. (Don't get me wrong, not all black guys I came across treated me like this, but a lot have). I'm open to dating any race, but I steer away from black guys who are my pigment because I assume that they might view me as "disgusting", "ugly" or other things that black guys have called me in the past. I don't want to have this mindset, because of course not all black guys are like this but the way I was bullied back then makes me not want to take my chances.
Aww, you are beautifully and wonderfully made sista. Peace and blessings to you from a dark-skinned brotha 😊❤️✊🏿
Cmon Kai you betta speak on it!!! But its literally the fact that i went on a date with a lightskin male, one that i didnt even want to go on, and i even told him this prior to the date, but i lowkey went just to get him off my back. He had the nerve to tell me i was pretty for a black girl. chile i had to check him so quick...
one light skin I had something with kept trying to tell me I was mixed, even though I told him multiple times I wasn't. They don't want to except the fact that fully black girls are beautiful. They try to imply to be beautiful you have to be mixed. I hate it here.
Can I punch him for you??
@@madisonj5136 sure😯
Us women need to start tossing drinks in rude men’s faces again i swear 😓 sorry you had to deal with such a dud girl
@Lance Williams why would you coerce women into sleeping with you?
Ik this probably sounds weird but I’m just now realizing that she’s of a lighter skin complexion
@Ms. unapologetic same lol
yes same 💀 i didn’t even realize people were questioning what she was mixed with lol
I only just realised when you pointed it out. Maybe it’s her features.
In my state she would be considered dark, possibly safe brown. Crazy how that works
ever noticed that the "beautiful dark-skinned girl" has very euro-centric features? like they'd have a smaller, thinner nose, or not as full lips...
like those girls are often the exception, or the example people would use when they say something like "how could you not like dark skinned girls"
so even when they decide to give praise to the darker girls, the "beautiful" ones don't have the regular-shegular black girl jay-z lips (for reference) of a big nose.
to me it's like saying that the gold standard for beauty is that whole european look... i've never heard anyone really praise a dark girl with them oversised black features, they just get laughed at. even lightskinned people with them oversised features aren't generally called "drop dead gorgeous" but people are more inclined to like give them as lil pass because they have lighter skin...
They features at the end of the day doesnt excuse they complexion period.
I literally said 30 minutes ago that I needed more content from Kai... God heard me 😍😍😍😍
Colourism is TERRIBLE here in Jamaica. Focusing on the dating aspect, men more often than not only pursue light skin women and as a result many dark skin women have unfortunately bleached their skin just to have a lighter complexion so that men will see them as "attractive". I don't even think it's gonna get any better cuz our songs continue to perpetuate the "preference" of light skin women.
Omg girl that is terrible
So disgusting, hate this type of ignorant thinking. Jamaica is messed up. They let too many nonblacks infiltrate their island.
According to my Jamaican friend some men bleach their skin too. So obviously dark skin men are suffering from colorism as well. It's not just the women.
@@realantagonist5324 Yeah a lot of them do too. It's obvious that both women and men are highly insecure and aren't truly appreciative of their complexion. It's really sad :(
@@Giggles50 Honestly. Simply put light skin wins the prize and dark skin is demonized.
I’ve been waiting for this one! Turn it up!!
Literally said this out loud
I feel like we as black women need to stop caring about the opinions of colorist men. Like you should not want colorist men to date you or find you attractive (and most importantly you should not try to convince them). Men like that do not love themselves and you should honestly just feel sorry for them. Black women have shown time and time again that we are the blueprint, the standard and at this point what’s understood does not need to be explained.
Honestly preach!!! If they don’t want us their loss. Go somewhere and date someone who wants you. Saves the drama in the end
best comment on youtube
BM self-hate and rejecting BW who look like them comes from BM wanting to be like WM🤷♀️
I don’t understand why any women want a man that would grade their children on their skin tone. And if they have a preference for light or dark skin then how could they not.
There is a bit of a struggle in being a light skin dude with everyone thinking you're a punk or pussy so they try you and you have to fight
Kai Foster is really such a wise person. She knows where she stands in the world and she is not afraid to expose issues on the platform she has. Honestly really awesome - she is hustling with the youtube shit as well as being an activist for her community 💓 big respect
Not really she's complaining about people who degrade and put down dark skin people... 9:00 in the video she reads a tweet and says light skins so
what people call you soft and
feminine get over it, it's just your
feelings getting hurt...she literally contradicted herself
KKBOSS MClovein yeah that’s something I noticed too. A lil bit hypocritical but besides that everything else she said was true
when i was younger i asked my “crush” out and he said “no , my mom said i can’t date black girls.” chile i-
Girl, that's his lost, we don't want anyone who doesn't want us
When i was in middle school I was a darker complexion than I am now, and this boy who was also black told me I was the darkest black person in the school (besides from another black girl who had African parents). But he said it as if it were a bad thing and he laughed at the fact I was darker. I think about that shit a lot. Like huh???
I’m mixed Latino black and I don’t appreciate no other girls then African, Caribbean, and black women I don’t care what color I can’t switch up I’m darker that my black dad and my moms Mexican so I had a lot of experience with colorism and I only have good experiences with Africans so I really learnt how to appreciate them my friends even times when me and my family were homeless my moms African friend took us in for a whole winter and some of the black men today don’t understand the beauty of full black and African women which is sad they don’t know themselves
All types and shades of bw mostly prefer darkskin bm it sucks as a light skin guy. That prefers bw of all shades.
Being a lightskin guy is only good when your into ww or latina's. I like black/mixed ones though.
It’s the “boo” sound effect when she mentioned men for me 😂
I'm happy that as someone with a lighter complexion, you're acknowledging your privilege and using it to combat colorism.
She is not that light. I am lighter than her on camera, with a high glow and still experience colorism.
@@ladybird491 it doesn’t matter if you’re lighter light skin is a whole spectrum. I’m a shade darker than her and I’m still considered light and I’ve never been called “blackie” “blick” “monkey” like my other dark friends.
I remember once in the 10th grade my friend who I had a crush on asked me where I was from (I am 100% African, both of my parents are from Kenya) but I LIED and told him I was Jamaican and Kenyan bc I was so insecure of my African roots bc of bullying in the past. He responded "You're half Jamaican!? THAT's why you're so pretty!" & that really hurt me lmao (I obviously shouldn't have lied but still)
It's crazy how brainwashed Americans are into thinking that all Africans have dark skin or that they are ugly. One girl thought I was lying about both my parents being African just because my skin is a little lighter.
as a dark skinned woman, my thing with preferences is that there's a difference between just naturally leaning towards certain races while being okay with dating anyone and explicitly avoiding certain races. having a "preference", to an extent, isn't colorist, and neither is it colorist to uplift a race of a lighter complexion. it's when u bring down darker complexions while uplifting lighter ones or again, force yourself to avoid certain races and say that "i would never date _____ race" that you are sounding colorist and need to check your biases.
I one hundred percent agree with this.
This👆🏾👆🏾
13:37 @ the guy who called me an incel bc I said that exclusively liking lightskins isn't a preference
The whole “preference” stuff really urks me bc a lot of the time people don’t ask themselves why. Typically the why is rooted in a racist and/or colorist idea.
the amount of things i learn from this channel is actually amazing
"Being a woman, being black, being part of the LGBT"
I am literally all of those lmao
read this right when she said it
I feel like Kai looks at what’s trending on black twitter and makes it into a vid and I’m here for it✨
Black men love to have preference but when they aren't the preference for someone who is there preference they get offended.
This is the story of my life. Your whole video is important especially for a lighter skinned people. More of us need to speak up about the disgusting nature of colorism. Black Men Are the WEAKEST link lol. In my own experience as I've gotten older I have started to question more and more when Black men ask me what my ethnicity is and now I gauge their reaction when I say I'm Black. If I get a reaction that is unsavory it's the first sign that they may be colorist and have just approached me because of my skin. I would never want to date someone who doesn't date their own skin complexion, that's a complex that needs to be eradicated.
it’s the howard shirt for me
I wish she would talk about the REAL reason why she left Howard. She's so scared to tell us.
@@JaihlaTillman maybe she's not ready yet. I think she'll do it soon tho.
shani tillman what makes y’all think something else happened than what she told us
Thank you for even acknowledging colorism in the Latinx community and other communities. It is very much prevalent in my community. Many people in the Latinx community forget that our AfroLatinx brothers and sisters exist because they are “too dark”, or don’t fit that standard of what people think a Latinx/Hispanic should look like. If anyone here had watched Latinx/Hispanic telanovelas (soap operas), the main cast is usually always light skinned Latinx/Hispanic. Even the “nicknames” we are called sound so much nicer for light Latinx/Hispanic people than for darker skinned people in our community. Light skinned people are usually called “Güero/a” which can be directly translated to blonde, but also refers to “whitey”. Where as darker Latinx/Hispanic members are referred to things such as “Negro” or “Moreno”, and other names in which I don’t know because I have the privilege to be light skinned. In the lottery game we have, there is a card that says “El Negro”, in which the card has a picture of a very dark man, who appears to be black.
Right we’re Black too
Stop using the word Latinx. We latinos do not claim that term. Also, moreno just means brown and negro is literally the color black. Negro is not seen as a derogatory term.
Thank you for touching on what it feels like to be considered an “acceptable black person/palatable/easy for white people to digest.”
Yassss i love when you speak on these issues 💗 because a lot of individuals are afraid to talk about the truth
There’s a difference between preference and exclusion. If I prefer chicken over beef that doesn’t mean I never eat beef.
Thank you so much for using your platform to override ignorance
Kai thank you so much as a dark skin girl I was bullied by boys and girls of lighter complexion
Great video!! I just think that terms like Weakest Link, Angry Black Woman, etc. Should all be eliminated because it dehumanizes us and lowers our value.
Men get asked what their preference is and go on a rant about how much they hate dark skin girls like imagine if you were asked what your preference is for ice cream and you talk about how much you hate pistachio like where is the logic??
exactly
i think this is my favorite video that you have made.
i feeel so validated, low key thought i was going crazy.
Ugh some people aint shiii
Anyways tho im going to dollar tree, yall want sum?
Some gum:)
Candy please
Sour Patch Kids and Sprite would me nice😘
And throw in some wavy Lays while you’re at it :)
A coke plz.
Krunchy Kurls xd
12:55 I completely agree not to long ago on straight tik tok 😐 there was a trend saying “I like dark skin love a Melanin.” And then just posting that and getting all the hype for saying they admire dark skins and on their account they only had videos with woman of light skin ... saying you like dark skins in a video and getting hype for it shouldn’t be a trend
I kind of recently made a video talking about 50cent and Lil Wayne and colorism and this guy was under my video and left FOUR comments (now gone because comment are turned off) telling me how I hate men and plenty of men date and marry black women and he was really bothered. I feel like if what I said wasn’t true he wouldn’t have been bothered
One very odd thing i see about discussions surrounding colorism on UA-cam is usually UA-cam creators insisting that colorism is a vicious tool that black Americans alone use and perpetuate against other black Americans. Yet many times in the same video, that UA-cam creator says there are stats showing differing treatment of black Americans in the job market, the criminal Justice system, etc which can be understood as widespread colorism in American at large. So why do these UA-cam creators seem to go back to focusing on colorism as an internal black racial problem when it clearly is not?
Hey baby girl I clicked sooo fast
People (especially black men) need to understand that having a preference does not mean you will never date someone who does not have certain desired features. Personality is a huge factor in who you end up getting romantically involved with; it’s not all about looks. If you prefer light skins, whatever, do what makes you happy. But if you REFUSE to date dark skins on the basis of that preference, that’s COLORISM. You just use the word “preference” to thinly veil your colorist beliefs.
I feel like we’re all making more videos about colorist now because we’re so tired now more than ever, but people cannot only go out of their way to date the exact opposite of them (ex. A DSBM only dating LS woman) and call that a preference. That’s a fetish. Also I can’t believe that some people really think that the brown paper bag test went away, now it’s just that everyone is using it not just YT people. White people use it when they want “black” people in tv shows or movies and black people (most of the time blk men) use it when choosing who to date.
i think ppl refuse to acknowledge how big if an issue colorism actually is worldwide. even myself as a Hispanic, I liked myself more when I was less tan and I avoided being in the sun bc i didn't want to look more hispanic. From an early age, I noticed that my cousins were whiter looking than me and I wanted to be able to assimilate into the white standard like them. I even disliked my facial features bc they were too big. I sense that ppl at school think I'm prettier and praise me more when I'm light. My friends also complain about how dark they are after being in the sun. Granted I still have to work through these issues myself but it takes so much effort when you've been taught to hate parts of yourself coming out of the womb. At least now I'm aware of this and can work against it. Colorism and featurism affects Asians and Hispanics greatly but i think in a different way from black communites bc dark skin blacks are the ones getting actual hate.
ooooo I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. TURN IT UP !!! 😭😂😂
I love you girl, you talk about everything that needs to be talked about in the community and especially in the black community. 🙌🏾 thank you girl. ❤️
Have a preference your own shade range is blame the colorist that just my opinion.
I may be in the middle but the darker you are, the harder it is with colorism. I’ve been experiencing it since my later years of elementary school from both light skin girls and dark skin boys. When it came to dating and socializing in high school, black boys were the only ones that picked and chose when to deal with me; they spoke to me when I was around dark skin girls and ignored me when I was around light skin girls.
As lighter skinned girl, I used to think it made me special too because I knew that if I was darker I'd be considered uglier.(smh🤦🏽♀️) Also, I liked how some people assumed I was mixed. I had a lot of self hate back then.
yet what you fail to realize is that darker skin tones are beautiful. Normani, Teyana Taylor, Sydney J Harper, Jayda Cheaves. They are all darker skin tones and run circles around the everyday light skin.
Umm reread the comment?
@@JaihlaTillman So I'm not beautiful. I'm not beautiful because I don't got that "Gorgeous creamy dark skin" Because dark skins are better. They simply just are.
Your really hurting us yknow? Being told were privileged everyday is enough. But now people like you go ahead and say "darker skin tones are beautiful." Why should I care about your "issues" then. It's like your forcing people to believe that, to devalue all lighter skin complexions. You want colorism to end? Your not beautiful, your everyone else.
@@shuntmint2432 She didn’t say darker is better. You just created that on your own.
Hi Kai 💕
Side note: colorism is also very prevalent in African countries
Great vid. Read an article about how preferences don't develop in a vacuum and obviously being shaped by racism & colorism. Gonna post it below
theestablishment.co/yes-your-dating-preferences-are-probably-racist-e58ae2fd625d/index.html
TheOtherFWord I just read this article and it is fantastic. They choose white even if they are not. They exclude black because of the conditioning of racism and colorism. Its disgusting. Preferences are always a joke to me. Hollywood has definitely made sure they are the top and best looking even if they are not. Racist systems!
Idk why people care if the person is light or dark-skin so much like yeah everyone has preferences but damn
As a dark skin woman living in the south colorism is very prevalent in the Southern states(South Carolina, Atlanta Georgia, Alabama, etc.) not so much up North.
@Arcane Raven yea I live in Maryland too I mostly see light skin girl, dark skin/brownskin guy couples. That's just the world we live in I RARELY see any real, good black love.
I'm from Germany and I'm more attracted to dark skin/ brown skin woman than white woman.
Many people don't understand why I would "prefer a black/ brownskin woman over a white woman". Even my black friends are more into white blonde woman. There is some kind of "teached racism" by society (worldwide), which teaches kids that black/dark is bad and white/blonde is beautiful. Meanwhile people in china walk around with umbrellas to avoid a tan and people in west africa use "whitening lotions"...
Dark skined woman are beautiful. There is no more to say.
@2:40 I can attest to the deeply rooted colorism in the latin community. As a light skin women I am very well aware of the privilege I have.
Unfortunately majority of my community isn’t ready for this conversation.
CoLoRiSm✨
oh my gosh i love your channel you've grown so much in the past few years! you inspire me to keep up with my own channel :)
Women prefer men with money and height but cry when men have their own standards
Facts
I honestly loved the fact that she talked about this
I want to thank you for taking time out of your life to address the black experience SPECIFICALLY for darker skinned women. There aren't many black people that do this, let alone light skinned. Thank you for being woke, it is very refreshing.😇
Yass Ms.Kai Foster proving all the points
Colorism specifically in the black community is perpetuated by self hate, however self hate is not the origin of colorism. Colorism is the product of white supremacy and that’s where the self hatred comes from. It’s way deeper rooted.
This is us how south Asian guys feel. Hated by our own and mocked. It’s sad but I’ve accepted it.
I clicked so fasttt
I think its alright for people to have certain preferences. Everyone has a preference. It's the name calling on social media and the disrespect I don't like. Have your preference, leave people alone and stop being mean to people.
please make more videos about colorism!
How I view the word “preference” is what a person typically dates or looks for in a person or what shade of skin they unintentionally find theirselves attracted to. However, having a preference for darker skinned or lighter skinned women isn’t a bad thing in my opinion UNTIL you refuse to date a lighter or darker skinned woman SOLELY based on their skin... Remember, a real man doesn’t gaf about what shade of skin you are. A good woman is a good woman and a REAL man would never pass up on that...
Black people are so loud about racism yet so quiet about colorism
Since then colorism is a global issue especially within the black community and also to some part of the world but for me black skin is beautiful. I hope we should learn to open our heart and accept people from different races...
She had me ALL THE WAY UNTIL... she said that “Reverse Racism doesn’t Exist”, at that point I was like oop, yeah well Ya just Lost me there!!!
@Arcane Raven Exactly PERIODT!!!
it doesn’t.
@@leelo266 Thank you for your Perspective! 😊
@Emma C Thank you also for your Perspective! 😊
@OhMaybe Please re-read (or learn if you don't already know) the definition of *Typically* you IGNORAMUS
Yeah my problem was I never felt special because the people showing that preference were dark so they were condemning themselves like why would I to be prefered by someone who is unhealthy and has low self esteem?
How come black women can have a preference for black men can’t?
Hypocrites
*the boo sound did it in for me* Kai always delivering the truth and facts 😂😂