(I liked Wonder Woman a lot. I'll try making a video about it soon.) Twitter: / jackhoward Instagram: / jackhoward Jack and Dean: / jackanddean Jack and Dean of All Trades: full.sc/jackdean
I know you said you don't need advice, but please stay aware of this feeling and monitor if it gets worse. Some of the symptoms of depression are low mood, lack of motivation, loss of interest in things that usually make you happy and feelings of self doubt/ low self esteem. I don't want to be overly dramatic, just something to be aware of to keep yourself safe and healthy! x
Thanks for saying this!! I thought about this most of the video. These are some of my own symptoms, and it worries me to hear someone talking about feeling the same way, and not necessarily know they could think about reaching out to a professional.
I totally understand this paralysis. I can't find the motivation to complete person projects, but I always go into work even when I don't feel like going. However, once I've jumped over the hurdle of starting, I find it easy to keep going. It's like kinetic energy: once something is in motion it's takes less to keep it moving than to start moving. And it also comes down to your fears and selfworth. If something only benefits you; if there isn't the fear if disppinting others, it can be really hard. That's why I need a deadline and friends who know my dreams and want to see them fulfilled.
When I'm having a bad brain day, I don't force myself to do anything, but I try to gently persuade myself. I always start with 'maybe you should go brush your teeth', and 90% of the time I do that, then I go 'maybe you should get changed' and 75% of the time I do that. If I'm changed, then I can feel a bit productive, as in I can leave my room. But if I can't do that, I feel really shit, then I'm like, let's get Netflix on to distract from the shitness and just get the day over with.
This is what I've been feeling lately. I do have a "normal" job and I still feel unmotivated to do the things I love. I make excuses about people and things and I let it simmer until that motivation is gone. I have swept my personal goals under the rug and have just chose to exist. A couple of bad brain days has turned into a couple of months worth of damage and it's a hole I need to crawl out of.
This is me too. Last year I suffered a huge loss in my life, so some time to be "out of in" was to be expected, but I need to come out it and rise above it now and it is SO HARD! I guess we can just press on and it something will give eventually :)
if you feel unmotivated to do the things you love, and if you feel generally low, its often linked with depression. talk to someone about it! there's always someone who will listen
Literally I relate so much. You feel so lazy even though it's your head. I can't write at the moment bc I'm revising for a levels, and literally, if I don't get out of bed to revise, I'm throwing my life away. And even that isn't motivating me.
First, I call them "mental health days" and I try not to feel bad for having them anymore...I guess that comes with age because it took me a long time to get there. Second, as a nurse, the thing that makes me the happiest is caring compassionately for the dying and their loved ones. Odd, I know, but that is where my heart is. Anyway, I look forward to your review of Wonder Woman.
Ruthie D I don't think that sounds odd at all. My mother recently passed away, and the main thing that made the process bearable was the compassionate, maternal nurses who hovered around my sister and I throughout the hardest day of our lives. One of the nurses even told us that as hard as the job was, she loved it because it was fulfilling and meaningful.
TollerDK, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, but I'm glad you had compassionate nurses to ease you and yours through the process. Thank you for understanding.
Making making making makes me happiest. I think? (And completing, for a moment. When sharing it feels good rather than like performing some kind of surgery on your own body.) & front row at The Killers. Nothing better than front row at The Killers.
I really get this. Being a student, I've only had 5 hours of obligatory presentness every week, and so all the studying was my responsibility. And of course I couldn't do it. I was happiest at the start of the semesters, getting into the new subjects, but they soon lost their shine. I was then again happiest during the exam and a few hours after, but it just all turned into mush after that. I'm probably not interested in the subjects, because I like using my brain at the exams, but actually studying is terrible. I don't think I care enough. It's the periods of boredness that makes me feel the most like I'm starting to malfunction :/
I think i'm happiest when i'm in the midst of something changing in my life. as much as i fear change in the future, when everything around me seems constant and predictable i think i begin to seep deeper into my brain and am less willing to go outside and actually live because it doesn't seem exciting anymore. (obviously, that's not true). i enjoyed your honesty in this video, hope your day goes well.
I had to write 9 compositions in kannada of over 600 words over summer and i went to sleep every night thinking "Tomorrow's the day, I will wake up at six and at least finish 7" and in the morning i just stare at the notebook until i find an excuse to stop. Eventually i figured I'm more motivated to work at night, so i started at 10pm and wrote 4 compositions by 2 am which is more work than i had finished in the past 3 weeks. I guess people have different ways to get over their bad brain days
Whenever I have a bad brain day, I will just sit, in the most comfortable pjs I have, watching UA-cam, playing a game (if I can be bothered) and just eating the easiest thing to get. If it's a really bad brain day, I just have to stay in bed, on my phone, either listening to music and reading, or watching UA-cam. Things that make me happiest, is watching UA-cam, and I think it's because it shows me that UA-camrs also experience things, just because a lot of people know them, doesn't mean they never have bad days, and it shows that they are real people. I like to listen to people's experiences and opinion on things as well, so it helps with that as well. UA-cam is also the light in my world, being the only thing I can focus on to help me relax and stay calm.
Hands down concepts. Kneading out a story, seeing the characters/idea unfold, writing their thoughts, and exploring the personality and feel of a story. It's such a wonderful feeling like you're effortlessly jumping from rock to rock, seeing a world open up to you. Fucking love it...
Theatre makes me happiest, because it's a place wherein I live all the bullshit in my brain at the door and show up to make some art. And whatever I can't leave behind, I can use in my craft. It gives me a place to put all the stuff in my head, and without it, it all rumbles around in there sort of ruining me. I haven't been in a play in a year, and it's sort of the absolute worst.
Music makes me happy. Playing music, listening to music, composing, learning, teaching. It makes me so happy to finally get that difficult run or to listen to someone else and feel the music. Music just soothes my soul in every way possible.
Things that make me happy: Christmas - I have quite the obsession all year round. Writing - either brainstorming plots or just picking an idea and letting my creativity do it's work. Reading - just love books. Watching things - watching other people's creative projects, things that make me laugh, or just someone I like talking to a camera. (These all help me on a bad brain day, when I don't have work that I need to do)
Like seriously, I've been sitting at my table staring at my politics essay that was due 3 weeks ago for about 2 hours and barely getting out 3 sentences. I LOVE this subject, and I LOVE writing, but i've been having exactly what you described since about 2 weeks into lockdown. I came to youtube to try to reset my brain a bit and this was the first video I clicked on on in recommended and you've just perfectly articulated how i've been feeling for the past month. It's so fucking hard to stay consistently self motivated, and it's such a shitty spiral to not want to do the things you like doing anymore and then giving yourself shit for being lazy but then you feel even worse and even less like you want to do anything, and it just goes round and round.
One of the best experiences I've ever had was doing children's theatre last year. Hearing "wow" and "woah" never got old. I'm happiest when I'm performing because I'm creating an escape for the audience. They can forget their own troubles and slip into another world for a while.
When I think about what makes me happiest, the things that immediately come to my mind are things like getting into a good book, brewing a really tasty cup of coffee, getting someone a gift that they actually really like, stuff like that. But the more I think about it, I think those are what they call the simple pleasures of life. And they're great! But I think what actually makes me really truly happy is doing life with the people I love, and everything that entails; serious conversations at 2am, falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie, sharing a bottle of wine and laughing till your sides hurt, stuff like that. Even the hurt and heartache that come from with those kinds of relationships. They're just important and messy and worthwhile. That's what makes me the kind of happy that you feel in the pit of your stomach.
Things that make me happiest: writing, reading, learning, creating, spending time with my sisters, travelling, watching theatre and TV and my favourite films, listening to music :D
I dread Summer most years for this exact reason. When I don't have a job, work, classes to go to, deadlines to meet, I can't find the motivation to do much. Maybe play games, or bake. I've been stuck in that for a while. I decided to go home and visit my family, look for a change of scenery and hope it'll start something like a reboot of my brain. I hope you overcome your bad brain days. If anything, they never last forever.
i dont know if this makes me the happiest because it was only one experience but, it is a good one to say the least. I was driving home from my college the other day and I was passing a bus full of elementary school kids. There were about 7 kids at the back of the bus trying to get the attention of people passing by in their vehicles. They were all waving frantically and laughing. I decided I was going to wave back, and I did and the results were so heartwarming. One kid in particular was so overjoyed someone acknowledged them that he started jumping up and down in his seat and slapping his hand against the back window. I swear I instantly started crying in my car as I drove past the school bus. I've never been so overwhelmed with emotions.
i'm the happiest when i see someone else happy. that's one of the main reasons i watch youtube - i like seeing people have fun and watching them laugh. or whenever i'm with my friends, i am guaranteed to be cheered up. that's what makes me the most happy. as for videos like this though - they're more comforting. my brain calms down and i let myself feel angry, sad, depressed, whatever i'm feeling. also, whenever you have bad brain days - i suggest doing everything that you can. you can iron, clean out your closet or read an entire book - keep doing anything you can, so you would achieve the feeling of doing something. that's what helps me the most. i know it's sometimes hard, but personally, when the bad brain days end, i absolutely hate myself for doing nothing. but i do emphasize the 'can' because it's also not good to push yourself over the line
Working with animals makes me happiest. I'm self employed as well, working as a Pet Sitter, Dog Walker, Trainer, Groomer, Behavior Consultant, and so on. It can be demanding and certainly takes up majority of my time, but I absolutely love the animals and clients I work with plus, like you said, it keeps my mind occupied from the negative thoughts I try to ignore. Once in awhile I'll have a day or two to myself with nothing scheduled and, well, those are my "bad brain days". They're challenging to get through, but thankfully I have my four dogs who force me out of bed to feed and walk them. If I didn't have them, I likely would just stay in bed all day (and in past days without them, I have). I guess my solution to avoiding the paralyzing feeling is having a life that isn't my own dependant on me to continue living... Ever considered adopting a pet, Jack? Maybe your new place will allow it ^_^
Well this is so very relatable. I end doing the exact same thing where I end up doing small household chores so I at least get something done that day, unload the dishwasher, doing the laundry etc. Those bad brain days always seem to happen to me when I don't have anything specific on, when there's nothing to force me get it together and just troop on. I should just pay a friend to come drag me out of bed and tell me to get my work done on those days. Sort of like a pseudo-boss for the self employed.
Being with other people makes me the happiest, which is odd because I'm an introvert, so as much as I need time alone for energy, nothing makes me feel more excited about life than talking to new people, hearing their stories, learning their passions, and building a bond of friendship and empathy with them.
I have that feeling with my creative work and I always make sure to do plenty of cleaning after tea because then I haven't wasted a day bevause I've done something useful so I get what you mean. Being with friends and feeling like I've progressed makes me happy. Like if I see a drawing I've done and I know it could be improved but then seeing how much better it is than my drawing a year or two prior makes me very happy (same with my photoshop skills, picture analysis and anything really. (Also on bad brain days making sure I have time to relax where I'm allowing myself to relax rather than feeling guilty helps me too).
Definitely deal with bad brain days in small episodes everyday... The thing makes me happiest tho is when I can get in that comfortable state of being lost. Lost in the work I enjoy, lost and just driving on the road, lost in my thoughts while on a walk. We're forced to focus and be "on" all the time that I think I'm happiest in the tranquil sublime (but only for a few hours at the most before I start missing the stress and the vicious cycle starts over again). Sounds a little vague but I think your thoughts and ideas can be your biggest burdens. But thank you for being honest and brave enough to share this thought with your audience. I have tons of respect for your journey and work!
THANK YOU!! I'm so glad you posted this video. I'm having a bad brain day right now and this kinda makes me get my but off my sofa. (Also I have 3 finals next week and a paper to hand in...)
I identify so much with your "wanting to always be shooting a show" feeling. I'm someone that does a lot of musicals, so I'm happiest during hell week (tech week) or dress rehearsals where we're all constantly running scenes and numbers. It makes me happy because 1)I'm singing and dancing and acting, which I love to do 2) I'm around other theater people who I'm very fond of and 3) It gives my life a very clear routine and rhythm. After we finally finish the show I just feel really empty and lost for awhile.
I'm happiest when I'm alone in my own space. I try not to feel bad about it because that's just how I relax. My cat, as well, he makes me happy, he's just too pure and he deserves everything. When I'm creating too, that's something else. I really love editing, and I can get so stuck into it that the day just melts away
Music has always been a huge part of my life. Music to me is what film is to you. So going to concerts has always what's made me happy. It's where I thrive the most. I had the privilege of actually working the merch for one of Dodie & Tessa's tour dates last fall & it was the happiest day of my life because I was FINALLY doing SOMETHING in the music scene. Hopefully one day I'll properly work in the industry.
what make me happiest? it's probably making other people happy. seeing people genuinely smile and laugh fills my heart with joy, because people deserve to be happy. sure, sometimes happiness is 'overrated' but it doesnt hurt anyone to smile and laugh does it? another thing that makes me happy is creating. making art, drawing, learning a song on the ukulele. it fills me with joy whenever i create something i can genuinely say im proud of. so yeah. that is what makes me happy. (also, i hope you feel better soon just know it will go away one day)
often youtubers seem to be constantly motivated and doing things. Its nice to see a youtuber who experiences bad brain days. I did see a comment that some of the things you mentioned could be symptoms of depression and to take care of yourself, and I 100% agree with that. Take care of yourself and stay happy. I often find upbeat music helps me when im having a bad brain day. Take care x
Literally just being in a show is the greatest thing, whether it's theatre or marching band or anything in between it makes me feel more than happy, i guess content. i feel great because im doing something. every day i have time i have to practice or work and it's exhausting and stressful but everyone in the show is just as exhausting as i am and at the end of the day we can look back and see what we've accomplished. finishing the day tired and sweaty but knowing you've done a lot and you're working towards something you love it the best feeling ever
this is so relatable, I just finished college and have no job at the moment so there have been many days where I just stay in bed until something compels me to get up. I'm a filmmaker too and shooting is my favorite activity I love being busy from the moment I wake up until I can't keep myself upright anymore. thank you for this it's so comforting to know someone else feels the way I do
Honestly, having tea in the winter sun and thinking about life makes me the the happiest and if I have that, no matter what projects I'm doing, I'd still be happy.
the thing that makes me the happiest is the process of writing because it is a creative outlet that allows me to convey a story or message in a way that can be structurally appealing. I think this is why i like writing and reading poetry so much: it is messy thought written with rhythm and pace.
Bad brain days happen all the time to me, especially when I need to complete a challenging task. I just end up worrying about whether I'm doing a good enough job or not, which stops me from having a clear perspective on if I'm doing well/poorly. It sucks because I would feel so much better completing these tasks, but there's a barrier stopping me from just getting on with it. What has helped me is reminiscing about how I felt during simpler carefree times (like in high school) by listening to some good music. This helps me put myself in an optimistic and excited mood, which means I can get on with whatever work I need to do. I've also been acknowledging the fact that embracing challenges is a great thing, since that's where you find the most satisfaction and improvement.
I'm happiest when I'm writing short stories, but I have no idea why. I think. It's probably the joy of creating something purely from myself, but also while I'm writing, I kind of feel an echo of the triumph of finishing, editing, publishing, and having other people see my work. So maybe it's pride that makes me happy?
things I do to combat bad brain days! - keep my space looking clean and as pretty as I can make it - keep plants in my room (helps to be making something grow, feels like an accomplishment, takes little effort with spider plants/succulents, etc.) - read a book that I've been meaning to read (passive consumption of media is easier, still have a sense of accomplishment) - cook myself some really good food (takes a long time, good experience afterwards, bonus points if cooking for someone else too and they can go 'yum') - tea - lots of tea sometimes these individual things don't even help but just doing things to try to make myself feel better - aiming for feeling better, and doing something about it - seems to give my brain something to shoot for and puts me on the upward curve again sooner. here's wishing you not too many bad brain days Jack!
I live far away from my family and I have always been fine about it. I missed them, but lived my life and was content with it. But right now I am home and i have realised how good it is to be HOME. Just sitting in th garden, helping my parents to maintain it, joking with my little sister. That what makes me happy right now. When I go back to my own life I probably will find some other type of happiness, but right now this is it.
This is the most relatable thing I have ever heard as a creative person. I just ended school, during which I would jump from theatre production to theatre production. In fact, we did so many shows this year that one show would close and we'd cast one to two weeks later for the next and then go straight into rehearsals. This continued for the entire year and now its the summer. Everythings so unstructured and I feel like I have infinite amounts of time and no obligations. Me and my friends want to try to make a few short films but I can't seem to continue writing what I have so far. I also figured I'd read some plays and books on the craft of both filmmaking and directing theatre but I can seem to do either. ALL OF THESE ARE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY. Like I love being in a production, even when issues arise because it just makes the process more rewarding when you solve them. Making stuff is cool but I just can't seem to.
I recently got back from a road trip around Europe with some of my closest mates I've made in my first year at uni. Bad brain days are a lot easier to handle when you're surrounded by people you love and the beautiful Swiss alps, but I realised that really I was happiest not at all the incredible city's or when I surrounded by the stunning vistas. I was happiest in the 4 hour car journeys between. It kinda shows as well all my friends photos are of the places we visited mine are all videos of us mucking around in the car. I'm incredibly grateful to have them :)
I fucking love how you edit. You only jumpcut when you've finished a thought and it makes the content so much more real and raw. I felt like I was just havin a coffee with a friend talking about mental health while watching this video. You're lovely.
I think there are peaks and valleys in creativity and it's ok to embrace the bad days. The calm is part of the creative process, as long as you don't let it take over. A bad week can be good for you in the long run.
I used to have really bad brain weeks during the semester. I called it my "existential crisis of the semester" and they were always close to the end of it. I started to realize that I was happy if I was up to date with my assignments and I worked on that and they (the bad week days) started to distance themselves and I only had 1 last semester.
Hey, I so get this. At this point in my life nothing makes me happy anymore, I'm in the middle of accepting that I have clinical depression. It's times like this where I welcome any sort of destraction and things like a creative project would probably help with that. I'm just not a great atm, struggling with it, but still hanging on for some reason. I think you are right about keeping the bad thougts out by focussing on a task or thing that you love, but imagine not loving anything anymore, that really really sucks. You know, at some point you will snap out of these bad brain days and you'll feel more motivated and happy, maybe even tomorrow already! I hope you can find something that makes you want to leave your bed again, I hope I will too :)Thanks for this video, I'm glad you're so open about this, you're stronger than you think.Take care x
Honestly these kinds of videos are my favourite. Just hearing about people's real lives, their struggles, their motivations, their feelings, I love it. Connecting, I guess.
I like seeing people genuinely laugh. I also like to just watch them being genuine. Thanks for opening up about this, Jack, because I have bad brain days too and you've given me the inspiration to acknowledge them and fight them
Saw the title and immediately knew what you were going to talk about. I had my own bad brain day earlier this week. I tend to have them right before I'm about to start another Big Creative Project - it's like my brain shuts down and says, "That's going to be really intense. Are you sure you're ready for that?" I talk myself into backing down, and I fall into this downward spiral until something or someone pulls me out of it. Then I get started on the Big Creative Project, and once I'm immersed in it I'm totally fine: it's fun and exciting because I'm making something that makes me happy. Writing/shooting/editing, it's the fuel that keeps me going. It's those in between times when I slow down and have more bad brain days... So yeah Jack, I can totally relate. Hope you feel better soon.
Hearing you talk about your bad brain days has made me feel like its okay to be having one of my own today. It's easy to forget that you're not the only person in the world feeling like this, so thank you Jack ☺️
I'm happiest when I've found a set of really good songs that are so good that I actually look forward to long mundane car journeys so I can listen to them.
bad brain days happen to me at least every month or so. I try to get my head in my schoolwork as best i can - to distract myself but mostly i end up worsening it writing helps me. sometimes it's lyrics, poems, stories mostly revolving around the description of scenery and people in particular. I take into account the tiny details. Drawing helps as well. I like using pens and making weird doodles and creating a backstory for them. I take time for myself as much as possible on my bad brain days. My dog by my side, notebook in hand and a pen.
I get bad brain days quite often. To the point where my psychiatrist has said "Dude, you need help." The days where it is worse I've cancelled projects or even stopped social activities because I just can't do it at that time. This has slightly dented my attendance at college, which is why I'm trying to help ease myself at the minute. Luckily, my exams are over, so a bit of a breather. I can sometimes get it during projects, too. I'm currently doing some independent feature film stuff with some people (Can't disclose too much info, so you're welcome for the vagueness (If vagueness is a word...)), and I often find myself demotivated despite the incredible opportunity, which sucks. But, what I'm starting to come to terms with is when you feel this way, take everything in small steps. If you can, go at a pace you feel comfortable. From then on, during that day, week or whatever time period, that pace may be able to pick up, and you start to feel much better. Hope this can potentially help to anyone reading this. Much love.
I've always had days like this and just called them "bad head days" as I've gotten older. You are the first person I've heard that actually acknowledges that this happens to people. My friends would know I would get like that but would just think I'm being "lazy" or "moody". Thank you for this video. I'm happiest when taking care of others in need or being creative (sewing, outside projects, any crafty stuff really).
When I had my bad brain days back when I was in LA I didn't really do anything (just lay in bed reading countless fanfics) but I regret it so much I wish I could have gone out and explore places. Now on my bad brain days I just draw mandalas and do some calligraphy...nothing comparable to your fascinating shorts, but it's like you when I'm occupied I feel happy and I feel satisfied looking at the finishing product :D
playing music of any kind with other people is my favourite thing in the world. I dunno why, i guess everyone there has a shared love of something, and we're all working together to make something as good as it can possibly be, while joking around. it's just incredible.
I call them bad brain too so this was something that hit close to home. I'm usually quite terrified of these because you don't know when they're gonna hit and its just the worst because you lose all motivation to do anything. What I found that helps me personally is just thinking about what would make me happy in that moment, for example with my future, I think about possible ideas I want to create and what my end goals are. Admittedly though, sometimes you just need to feel numb for a bit, well for me. At these points I watch films (etc) that are quite sad and make me feel nostalgic, let these inspire you. That's all. Hope you find what helps you.
creating makes me happiest. when i'm making something and i know it could be good, i get this warm glowy feeling and i love it. but when the doubts creep in, and i'm creating things that i'm not sure are going to be good or not... the glow isn't quite as warm.
Writing makes me the happiest. I like being in the midst of creation, like you. I like the energy around it, the feeling of doing something brilliant. Writing helps me unload my brain. I think a mile a minute and my mouth is too slow for the thoughts happening in my brain and to be able to just blurt it all out on paper is therapeutic; it's wonderful. But I'm in the same boat as you right now, Jack. I can't force myself to write anything. Thinking about writing it is exhausting me. I've resorted to rewriting something, making it slightly better to help but even then that becomes tiring. The only method I've known to help is to keep writing, to force myself to do something. To get a cup of coffee and make myself feel good, then begin writing, even if it's a sentence a day. You're not alone with feeling like this, Jack. But it's just forcing yourself to move one step at a time, from my experience
Tbh, my entire four years of uni was bad brain days that only got worse & worse as time went on, until it got to the point where in my final semester a month ago, a month before graduation, I just stopped. Just stopped working, stopped doing anything, despite it being my final year project. I couldn't do anything. But yet here I am, with a degree in B.A. in Interior Design. Despite all those bad brain days, I made it through & I did graduate, even when I was so sure I wouldn't. So good on you, Jack, & anybody else that reads this, for making it this far, even though you feel like you do. You have come this far; keep pushing, & you'll go even farther.
I had a similar feeling when I left my part-time job that I loved but it was so bad that I had mild anxiety because I couldn't get myself to do anything and when I finally forced myself to do something I would get panic attacks. What's making me happy right now is work, working on anything continuously (as you described) keeps me content and out of the sadness that comes with leaving something you love.
Hey, this is slightly relevant; people who motivate themselves in the second person are more motivated than those who do so in the first person. Also, the way I deal with bad brain days is by punishing myself for having a bad brain day in the hopes that it makes it less likely to occur again, I usually do this by doing the work I was meant to do for a longer amount of time (cutting into my breaks) as punishment, therefore getting a 'decent' amount of work done while decreasing the odds of it happening again
I'm so glad someone else calls them bad rain days, it's different from days where my brain's asleep or just off. But it's good we have given those days those names because it shows we're aware it's not our best days and we can try ways to help it. We KNOW what's going on, even when we think we don't.
a week or so ago I was trying very hard to get school work done but I couldn't so I moved on to working on my art project because that's something I enjoy but I couldn't work on that either and so I just laid on the ground, unable to get up for about 2.5, 3 hours? eventually it was like midnight so I got up and went to bed but I definitely relate to not feeling motivation at all. I think I'm happiest when I'm writing/directing theatre productions, or honestly just working on any form of art, I find it very rewarding and it's strange to think that there are days that I can't even be bothered to do that.
I have a lot of bad brain days but I think what makes me happiest is my family (especially my 8 year old sister), and art. I don't draw as a job so I struggle with the motivation to actually finish a drawing, even though I love it. But once I've pushed through the bad thoughts and just started doing something, I get so focused that I can't stop until it's finished. For the record, I think you're doing an amazing job at carrying on despite the bad brain days. 😊
I experienced this last year during uni. I had a folio due (studying music, majoring in jazz composition), and there was one day where I felt exactly how you described. But for me it didn't stop there, because it seeped into most of the semester. By talking to people, including teachers and friends, the solution for me was finding a point of reconnection. I have as much passion to music as you do to film, and that emotional connection never left. But it was discipline that helped me begin to reconnect with music. I personally associate "motivation" with an emotional connection to a thing, and I never lost that; it was discipline that got me out of bed and got my ass in line. I sat at a piano and played my favourite pieces, I listened to my favourite artists, and I transcribed various works. Slowly, the creative wheel got turning and I was back on track to finishing the folio. I reconnected with music and began to write the music that, to this day, I'm most proud of. I know you said you don't need advice, but fuck it I want to help anyway. A similar approach may work for you, it may not. If you're having another bad brain day, remind yourself why you want to be in this industry. Take the day or two to watch your favourite films, talk to people about film, or go to a cinema. Reconnect with your own love of film, and that might help you. If this doesn't help at all, at least know that everyone experiences it and pushes through in their own way, and I'm sure you'll figure out the solution that works best for you.
I know. I know this. I work in an office editing and for me, though, these days don't tend to happen when I have something to do: be it wake up and go to work, or planned hang out with friends or such. The worst is when you have a free day and this feeling comes in and you just stay there, not watching tv, not reading a book, not eating, not anything, just laying there, because the thought of actually doing anything almost gives you shivers. It doesn't happen often to me, but when it does the day is wasted and I feel more tired than after a full day of work.
Acting, writing, and watching and reading scripts, makes me happiest because I like exploring things I wouldn't necessarily explore in my own life. It gives me something to pour all my energy into, however, I am prone to burning out. My brain loves me 😂
When I have bad brain days/moments, I just watch tv shows. Or stand-ups. Comedy is the thing that makes me the happiest, and even just making dumb jokes to friends or even just to myself is something that takes my mind off of the bad. Hope you feel better soon x
I love when people can be honest about things like this that are a very real part of being human. Definitely being in the middle of a project doing something you love keeps you away from bad brain days, but other than that, calling up a friend. It may seem obvious, but it's the only thing I've found that really, effectively helps. Because the worst bit is that feeling of empty, disconnectedness when you're not doing anything. Just talking to someone reminds you that you're normal and the feeling will pass.
My happiest stems sort of from the same place yours does. Mine is performing, specifically dancing on a stage. There's something so overwhelmingly blissful about finishing a number with barely any breath in your lungs and hearing the audience applaud you for it. Maybe it's self centred, but that feeling can carry me through even weeks later 💚
people make me the happiest. their difference, experiences and memories, looks. how everyone brings different things to the table, voices and thoughts. they bring energy and words and fill the world. this makes me happy.
I can't agree more,Jack. I'm having a gap year rn and I can't wait for uni but I'm at that stage of life where you just try to keep yourself occupied by ANYTHING just so you don't spend the day glaring the ceiling and inevitably drowning into the feeling of worthlessness. Bad brain day - more like bad brain year 😥
I think making people smile or laugh is one of the greatest feelings in the world. That and being able to create or be part of something that people can relate to or learn from. Even for myself, creating things helps me appreciate and observe my own perspective and personality which is cool.
Totally relate to this. I have a chronic headache condition, it means I can only realistically work part time. I'm trying to find work for months & it's so difficult to motivate myself some days just to get up & do something. Have to say recently I've got back into writing regularly as I've signed up to do my Masters through open university in October. I've ended up getting into fan fiction on tumblr & it's great cause I'm even getting requests now. It's really handy for when I'm stuck writing my own pieces that I have something to switch to & it means I'm still doing what I love. I'd advise anyone who struggles with motivation to use a bullet journal. You can be creative as you like with it, it gets you super organised & it's really satisfying when you get everything on your list ticked off. :)
Understand entirely what you mean by a "bad brain day". If my creativity level whilst writing or general mood on a normal day drops, there's nothing better than experiencing a day that's simple but for some reason above the 'line of content' you described. I call it an "unexpected happy day" - might be worth looking out for. Hope the remainder of your writing goes well, Jack.
I regularly rewatch your video "Confident and Insecure". I think I have shared it everywhere I could and all my friends have seen it because of me. I make youtube videos too for 5 years now sharing what's it in my head at the moment (in french and somewhat boring, you don't need to see). Since my content is based on my emotions and reflections about the world around me, it is kind of difficult to hide when I'm not here. And being self employed, I have those bad brain days. What I do to overcome this is the following. I have a list of things I want to do or learn and I know I would be sad long term if I don't do or learn those things. I know I won't do or learn those things if I don't kick my own ass because no one cares about those things but me. They are small things like: drawing more, playing guitar, reading, dancing, coding python... And when I wake up, I wake up to do stuff out of this list. So it makes sense to me to get up because I genuinely know these things are going to make me happy short term and long term. Each time I feel like I am not there or I have bad emotions like "you're not good enought, you are going to fail", I just draw. Yes, it is childish but it works so... Don't care about my 30 years old. Hope it helps...
I am happiest when overwhelmed with good stress. I just finished my third year of architecture and we often do 60 hour weeks in the lead up to a final project hand up. It's creatively exhausting, it's physically and mentally exhausting, but I live for it.
I really like these honest videos of yours, I'm self employed and I really struggle with patches of 'bad brain days' and it's nice to see someone who I always perceive as success and perfect showing his flaws and saying when he struggles, so thank you ❤️
I have a lot of bad brain days, especially in the past 2 years, and it's gotten to the point where I have more bad days than good ones, and the bad days are my new normal. What makes me happiest is when I'm working, when I'm being productive. If I'm doing things that are worthwhile, then I feel like I'm needed, that I'm of use, and that I'm actually important rather than I'm just existing for no reason.
Exploring and finding new places makes me happiest. Even if I just take a drive around my town and go into a shop I've never been to before, or if I drive further away and go to a place I've seen in pictures or on Instagram, I feel good inside. Seeing things and places for the first time gives me this feeling of being very small in a big world, and it just makes everything better for a little while. Thank you for talking about this, I hope you have some better brain days ahead of you x
i'm at my most happiest when i'm doing long day rehearsals for a show. I'm in the place that i love, the theatre, for 12 hours a day with the people that I love and doing the thing I love. I get to leave my problems and worries ourside the door and I get to be someone else. I'm constantly working and making myself better and i'm surrounded by people who feel the same.
Did write a long comment of sympathising but heard your final question and decided to answer that instead. particularly on bad brain days, i enjoy catching up on tv shows. Films seem a bit daunting sometimes because they're longer and require more focus to learn characters etc, whereas it's easier to slip into another episode of a tv show you've watched for ages. They're great for distraction and giving the brain a rest from itself, and sometimes i find they help clear the bad brain day fog, even if it's just a bit. If I'm able to, i also try and walk. there's a park near my student halls with a little animal enclosure, so i can go and watch the guinea pigs, birds etc for a bit. At home I sit in the garden. fresh air always helps me.
I just realized how difficult it is for me to accept someone telling me that they don't need/want advice when I feel like they aren't 100% ok... I am going to try and work on that. As for now, have an internet hug, Jack
I think I'm having a bad brain year
feels
nefrit6 I think I'm having a bad brain life
You still made a video. You're embracing your bad brain days and conquering it. I'm proud of you for doing that. That's progress.
Fireheart K you
you!
*Y O U*
Me?
no, not you.
I. relate. to. this. so. much.
my entire life is one endless BAD BRAIN DAY
Daphne Daria same.
Daphne Daria me
Daphne Daria I was going to comment this haha
No
Same thing here
I know you said you don't need advice, but please stay aware of this feeling and monitor if it gets worse. Some of the symptoms of depression are low mood, lack of motivation, loss of interest in things that usually make you happy and feelings of self doubt/ low self esteem. I don't want to be overly dramatic, just something to be aware of to keep yourself safe and healthy! x
+Emily Davenport thank you x
Thanks for saying this!! I thought about this most of the video. These are some of my own symptoms, and it worries me to hear someone talking about feeling the same way, and not necessarily know they could think about reaching out to a professional.
I totally understand this paralysis. I can't find the motivation to complete person projects, but I always go into work even when I don't feel like going. However, once I've jumped over the hurdle of starting, I find it easy to keep going. It's like kinetic energy: once something is in motion it's takes less to keep it moving than to start moving.
And it also comes down to your fears and selfworth. If something only benefits you; if there isn't the fear if disppinting others, it can be really hard. That's why I need a deadline and friends who know my dreams and want to see them fulfilled.
And when that kinetic energy hits even the smallest bump, suddenly you have to start from square one again. Total inertia.
Bad brain week during the week off mid A level exams . I'm doomed
Eilidh XXx samee
Same I'm having this mid GCSEs...I say 'mid' I haven't even done half of them yet...poop
Lucy Jo you will do great. Just keep at it!!
Eilidh XXx same and I haven't had any exams yet so that's just great 🙃
Eilidh XXx you'll be fucked in life if you don't do well. You will be the lowest of society.
When I'm having a bad brain day, I don't force myself to do anything, but I try to gently persuade myself. I always start with 'maybe you should go brush your teeth', and 90% of the time I do that, then I go 'maybe you should get changed' and 75% of the time I do that. If I'm changed, then I can feel a bit productive, as in I can leave my room. But if I can't do that, I feel really shit, then I'm like, let's get Netflix on to distract from the shitness and just get the day over with.
this is my entire covid19 lockdown mood perfectly articulated
EXACTLY. I can't concentrate at home and there's a 14,000 word thesis staring at me. And I'm not doing anything.
This is what I've been feeling lately. I do have a "normal" job and I still feel unmotivated to do the things I love. I make excuses about people and things and I let it simmer until that motivation is gone. I have swept my personal goals under the rug and have just chose to exist. A couple of bad brain days has turned into a couple of months worth of damage and it's a hole I need to crawl out of.
This is me too. Last year I suffered a huge loss in my life, so some time to be "out of in" was to be expected, but I need to come out it and rise above it now and it is SO HARD! I guess we can just press on and it something will give eventually :)
if you feel unmotivated to do the things you love, and if you feel generally low, its often linked with depression. talk to someone about it! there's always someone who will listen
Literally I relate so much. You feel so lazy even though it's your head. I can't write at the moment bc I'm revising for a levels, and literally, if I don't get out of bed to revise, I'm throwing my life away. And even that isn't motivating me.
First, I call them "mental health days" and I try not to feel bad for having them anymore...I guess that comes with age because it took me a long time to get there. Second, as a nurse, the thing that makes me the happiest is caring compassionately for the dying and their loved ones. Odd, I know, but that is where my heart is. Anyway, I look forward to your review of Wonder Woman.
Ruthie D I don't think that sounds odd at all. My mother recently passed away, and the main thing that made the process bearable was the compassionate, maternal nurses who hovered around my sister and I throughout the hardest day of our lives. One of the nurses even told us that as hard as the job was, she loved it because it was fulfilling and meaningful.
TollerDK, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, but I'm glad you had compassionate nurses to ease you and yours through the process. Thank you for understanding.
We need people like you in the world, Ruthie and will forever. You're more appreciated than you'll ever know
Making making making makes me happiest. I think?
(And completing, for a moment. When sharing it feels good rather than like performing some kind of surgery on your own body.)
& front row at The Killers. Nothing better than front row at The Killers.
I hope you're okay, bad brain days happen to the best of us. please don't put yourself down even more than you already have❣
I really get this. Being a student, I've only had 5 hours of obligatory presentness every week, and so all the studying was my responsibility. And of course I couldn't do it. I was happiest at the start of the semesters, getting into the new subjects, but they soon lost their shine. I was then again happiest during the exam and a few hours after, but it just all turned into mush after that.
I'm probably not interested in the subjects, because I like using my brain at the exams, but actually studying is terrible. I don't think I care enough. It's the periods of boredness that makes me feel the most like I'm starting to malfunction :/
Mind over Mindfuck I agree wholeheartedly.
i have bad brain days, but i just call it depression
I think i'm happiest when i'm in the midst of something changing in my life. as much as i fear change in the future, when everything around me seems constant and predictable i think i begin to seep deeper into my brain and am less willing to go outside and actually live because it doesn't seem exciting anymore. (obviously, that's not true).
i enjoyed your honesty in this video, hope your day goes well.
I had to write 9 compositions in kannada of over 600 words over summer and i went to sleep every night thinking "Tomorrow's the day, I will wake up at six and at least finish 7" and in the morning i just stare at the notebook until i find an excuse to stop. Eventually i figured I'm more motivated to work at night, so i started at 10pm and wrote 4 compositions by 2 am which is more work than i had finished in the past 3 weeks.
I guess people have different ways to get over their bad brain days
Literally me this week, I'm in the middle of exams and it's the last time I need this but it's happening and ugh idk
WhateverItsAmber • same it's so hard having a day where you don't wanna do anything but you have to because it ACTUALLY MATTERS lol
Whenever I have a bad brain day, I will just sit, in the most comfortable pjs I have, watching UA-cam, playing a game (if I can be bothered) and just eating the easiest thing to get. If it's a really bad brain day, I just have to stay in bed, on my phone, either listening to music and reading, or watching UA-cam.
Things that make me happiest, is watching UA-cam, and I think it's because it shows me that UA-camrs also experience things, just because a lot of people know them, doesn't mean they never have bad days, and it shows that they are real people. I like to listen to people's experiences and opinion on things as well, so it helps with that as well. UA-cam is also the light in my world, being the only thing I can focus on to help me relax and stay calm.
Hands down concepts. Kneading out a story, seeing the characters/idea unfold, writing their thoughts, and exploring the personality and feel of a story. It's such a wonderful feeling like you're effortlessly jumping from rock to rock, seeing a world open up to you. Fucking love it...
Theatre makes me happiest, because it's a place wherein I live all the bullshit in my brain at the door and show up to make some art. And whatever I can't leave behind, I can use in my craft. It gives me a place to put all the stuff in my head, and without it, it all rumbles around in there sort of ruining me. I haven't been in a play in a year, and it's sort of the absolute worst.
Music makes me happy. Playing music, listening to music, composing, learning, teaching. It makes me so happy to finally get that difficult run or to listen to someone else and feel the music. Music just soothes my soul in every way possible.
Things that make me happy: Christmas - I have quite the obsession all year round.
Writing - either brainstorming plots or just picking an idea and letting my creativity do it's work.
Reading - just love books.
Watching things - watching other people's creative projects, things that make me laugh, or just someone I like talking to a camera.
(These all help me on a bad brain day, when I don't have work that I need to do)
Had exactly the same sorta week
Like seriously, I've been sitting at my table staring at my politics essay that was due 3 weeks ago for about 2 hours and barely getting out 3 sentences. I LOVE this subject, and I LOVE writing, but i've been having exactly what you described since about 2 weeks into lockdown. I came to youtube to try to reset my brain a bit and this was the first video I clicked on on in recommended and you've just perfectly articulated how i've been feeling for the past month. It's so fucking hard to stay consistently self motivated, and it's such a shitty spiral to not want to do the things you like doing anymore and then giving yourself shit for being lazy but then you feel even worse and even less like you want to do anything, and it just goes round and round.
One of the best experiences I've ever had was doing children's theatre last year. Hearing "wow" and "woah" never got old. I'm happiest when I'm performing because I'm creating an escape for the audience. They can forget their own troubles and slip into another world for a while.
When I think about what makes me happiest, the things that immediately come to my mind are things like getting into a good book, brewing a really tasty cup of coffee, getting someone a gift that they actually really like, stuff like that. But the more I think about it, I think those are what they call the simple pleasures of life. And they're great! But I think what actually makes me really truly happy is doing life with the people I love, and everything that entails; serious conversations at 2am, falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie, sharing a bottle of wine and laughing till your sides hurt, stuff like that. Even the hurt and heartache that come from with those kinds of relationships. They're just important and messy and worthwhile. That's what makes me the kind of happy that you feel in the pit of your stomach.
i really enjoy how genuine your videos come across, they feel almost cathartic to watch if you get me
Things that make me happiest: writing, reading, learning, creating, spending time with my sisters, travelling, watching theatre and TV and my favourite films, listening to music :D
I dread Summer most years for this exact reason. When I don't have a job, work, classes to go to, deadlines to meet, I can't find the motivation to do much. Maybe play games, or bake. I've been stuck in that for a while. I decided to go home and visit my family, look for a change of scenery and hope it'll start something like a reboot of my brain. I hope you overcome your bad brain days. If anything, they never last forever.
i dont know if this makes me the happiest because it was only one experience but, it is a good one to say the least.
I was driving home from my college the other day and I was passing a bus full of elementary school kids. There were about 7 kids at the back of the bus trying to get the attention of people passing by in their vehicles. They were all waving frantically and laughing. I decided I was going to wave back, and I did and the results were so heartwarming. One kid in particular was so overjoyed someone acknowledged them that he started jumping up and down in his seat and slapping his hand against the back window. I swear I instantly started crying in my car as I drove past the school bus. I've never been so overwhelmed with emotions.
i'm the happiest when i see someone else happy.
that's one of the main reasons i watch youtube - i like seeing people have fun and watching them laugh. or whenever i'm with my friends, i am guaranteed to be cheered up. that's what makes me the most happy. as for videos like this though - they're more comforting. my brain calms down and i let myself feel angry, sad, depressed, whatever i'm feeling. also, whenever you have bad brain days - i suggest doing everything that you can. you can iron, clean out your closet or read an entire book - keep doing anything you can, so you would achieve the feeling of doing something. that's what helps me the most. i know it's sometimes hard, but personally, when the bad brain days end, i absolutely hate myself for doing nothing. but i do emphasize the 'can' because it's also not good to push yourself over the line
Working with animals makes me happiest. I'm self employed as well, working as a Pet Sitter, Dog Walker, Trainer, Groomer, Behavior Consultant, and so on. It can be demanding and certainly takes up majority of my time, but I absolutely love the animals and clients I work with plus, like you said, it keeps my mind occupied from the negative thoughts I try to ignore. Once in awhile I'll have a day or two to myself with nothing scheduled and, well, those are my "bad brain days". They're challenging to get through, but thankfully I have my four dogs who force me out of bed to feed and walk them. If I didn't have them, I likely would just stay in bed all day (and in past days without them, I have). I guess my solution to avoiding the paralyzing feeling is having a life that isn't my own dependant on me to continue living...
Ever considered adopting a pet, Jack? Maybe your new place will allow it ^_^
Well this is so very relatable. I end doing the exact same thing where I end up doing small household chores so I at least get something done that day, unload the dishwasher, doing the laundry etc. Those bad brain days always seem to happen to me when I don't have anything specific on, when there's nothing to force me get it together and just troop on. I should just pay a friend to come drag me out of bed and tell me to get my work done on those days. Sort of like a pseudo-boss for the self employed.
Being with other people makes me the happiest, which is odd because I'm an introvert, so as much as I need time alone for energy, nothing makes me feel more excited about life than talking to new people, hearing their stories, learning their passions, and building a bond of friendship and empathy with them.
I have that feeling with my creative work and I always make sure to do plenty of cleaning after tea because then I haven't wasted a day bevause I've done something useful so I get what you mean. Being with friends and feeling like I've progressed makes me happy. Like if I see a drawing I've done and I know it could be improved but then seeing how much better it is than my drawing a year or two prior makes me very happy (same with my photoshop skills, picture analysis and anything really.
(Also on bad brain days making sure I have time to relax where I'm allowing myself to relax rather than feeling guilty helps me too).
Definitely deal with bad brain days in small episodes everyday... The thing makes me happiest tho is when I can get in that comfortable state of being lost. Lost in the work I enjoy, lost and just driving on the road, lost in my thoughts while on a walk. We're forced to focus and be "on" all the time that I think I'm happiest in the tranquil sublime (but only for a few hours at the most before I start missing the stress and the vicious cycle starts over again). Sounds a little vague but I think your thoughts and ideas can be your biggest burdens. But thank you for being honest and brave enough to share this thought with your audience. I have tons of respect for your journey and work!
THANK YOU!! I'm so glad you posted this video. I'm having a bad brain day right now and this kinda makes me get my but off my sofa. (Also I have 3 finals next week and a paper to hand in...)
I identify so much with your "wanting to always be shooting a show" feeling. I'm someone that does a lot of musicals, so I'm happiest during hell week (tech week) or dress rehearsals where we're all constantly running scenes and numbers. It makes me happy because 1)I'm singing and dancing and acting, which I love to do 2) I'm around other theater people who I'm very fond of and 3) It gives my life a very clear routine and rhythm. After we finally finish the show I just feel really empty and lost for awhile.
I'm happiest when I'm alone in my own space. I try not to feel bad about it because that's just how I relax. My cat, as well, he makes me happy, he's just too pure and he deserves everything. When I'm creating too, that's something else. I really love editing, and I can get so stuck into it that the day just melts away
Music has always been a huge part of my life. Music to me is what film is to you. So going to concerts has always what's made me happy. It's where I thrive the most. I had the privilege of actually working the merch for one of Dodie & Tessa's tour dates last fall & it was the happiest day of my life because I was FINALLY doing SOMETHING in the music scene. Hopefully one day I'll properly work in the industry.
what make me happiest? it's probably making other people happy. seeing people genuinely smile and laugh fills my heart with joy, because people deserve to be happy. sure, sometimes happiness is 'overrated' but it doesnt hurt anyone to smile and laugh does it? another thing that makes me happy is creating. making art, drawing, learning a song on the ukulele. it fills me with joy whenever i create something i can genuinely say im proud of. so yeah. that is what makes me happy. (also, i hope you feel better soon just know it will go away one day)
often youtubers seem to be constantly motivated and doing things. Its nice to see a youtuber who experiences bad brain days. I did see a comment that some of the things you mentioned could be symptoms of depression and to take care of yourself, and I 100% agree with that. Take care of yourself and stay happy. I often find upbeat music helps me when im having a bad brain day. Take care x
Literally just being in a show is the greatest thing, whether it's theatre or marching band or anything in between it makes me feel more than happy, i guess content. i feel great because im doing something. every day i have time i have to practice or work and it's exhausting and stressful but everyone in the show is just as exhausting as i am and at the end of the day we can look back and see what we've accomplished. finishing the day tired and sweaty but knowing you've done a lot and you're working towards something you love it the best feeling ever
this is so relatable, I just finished college and have no job at the moment so there have been many days where I just stay in bed until something compels me to get up. I'm a filmmaker too and shooting is my favorite activity I love being busy from the moment I wake up until I can't keep myself upright anymore. thank you for this it's so comforting to know someone else feels the way I do
Honestly, having tea in the winter sun and thinking about life makes me the the happiest and if I have that, no matter what projects I'm doing, I'd still be happy.
the thing that makes me the happiest is the process of writing because it is a creative outlet that allows me to convey a story or message in a way that can be structurally appealing. I think this is why i like writing and reading poetry so much: it is messy thought written with rhythm and pace.
Bad brain days happen all the time to me, especially when I need to complete a challenging task. I just end up worrying about whether I'm doing a good enough job or not, which stops me from having a clear perspective on if I'm doing well/poorly. It sucks because I would feel so much better completing these tasks, but there's a barrier stopping me from just getting on with it.
What has helped me is reminiscing about how I felt during simpler carefree times (like in high school) by listening to some good music. This helps me put myself in an optimistic and excited mood, which means I can get on with whatever work I need to do.
I've also been acknowledging the fact that embracing challenges is a great thing, since that's where you find the most satisfaction and improvement.
I'm happiest when I'm writing short stories, but I have no idea why. I think. It's probably the joy of creating something purely from myself, but also while I'm writing, I kind of feel an echo of the triumph of finishing, editing, publishing, and having other people see my work. So maybe it's pride that makes me happy?
things I do to combat bad brain days!
- keep my space looking clean and as pretty as I can make it
- keep plants in my room (helps to be making something grow, feels like an accomplishment, takes little effort with spider plants/succulents, etc.)
- read a book that I've been meaning to read (passive consumption of media is easier, still have a sense of accomplishment)
- cook myself some really good food (takes a long time, good experience afterwards, bonus points if cooking for someone else too and they can go 'yum')
- tea
- lots of tea
sometimes these individual things don't even help but just doing things to try to make myself feel better - aiming for feeling better, and doing something about it - seems to give my brain something to shoot for and puts me on the upward curve again sooner. here's wishing you not too many bad brain days Jack!
I live far away from my family and I have always been fine about it. I missed them, but lived my life and was content with it. But right now I am home and i have realised how good it is to be HOME. Just sitting in th garden, helping my parents to maintain it, joking with my little sister. That what makes me happy right now. When I go back to my own life I probably will find some other type of happiness, but right now this is it.
This is the most relatable thing I have ever heard as a creative person. I just ended school, during which I would jump from theatre production to theatre production. In fact, we did so many shows this year that one show would close and we'd cast one to two weeks later for the next and then go straight into rehearsals. This continued for the entire year and now its the summer. Everythings so unstructured and I feel like I have infinite amounts of time and no obligations. Me and my friends want to try to make a few short films but I can't seem to continue writing what I have so far. I also figured I'd read some plays and books on the craft of both filmmaking and directing theatre but I can seem to do either. ALL OF THESE ARE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY. Like I love being in a production, even when issues arise because it just makes the process more rewarding when you solve them. Making stuff is cool but I just can't seem to.
I recently got back from a road trip around Europe with some of my closest mates I've made in my first year at uni. Bad brain days are a lot easier to handle when you're surrounded by people you love and the beautiful Swiss alps, but I realised that really I was happiest not at all the incredible city's or when I surrounded by the stunning vistas. I was happiest in the 4 hour car journeys between. It kinda shows as well all my friends photos are of the places we visited mine are all videos of us mucking around in the car. I'm incredibly grateful to have them :)
I fucking love how you edit. You only jumpcut when you've finished a thought and it makes the content so much more real and raw. I felt like I was just havin a coffee with a friend talking about mental health while watching this video. You're lovely.
I think there are peaks and valleys in creativity and it's ok to embrace the bad days. The calm is part of the creative process, as long as you don't let it take over. A bad week can be good for you in the long run.
I used to have really bad brain weeks during the semester. I called it my "existential crisis of the semester" and they were always close to the end of it. I started to realize that I was happy if I was up to date with my assignments and I worked on that and they (the bad week days) started to distance themselves and I only had 1 last semester.
Hey, I so get this. At this point in my life nothing makes me happy anymore, I'm in the middle of accepting that I have clinical depression. It's times like this where I welcome any sort of destraction and things like a creative project would probably help with that. I'm just not a great atm, struggling with it, but still hanging on for some reason. I think you are right about keeping the bad thougts out by focussing on a task or thing that you love, but imagine not loving anything anymore, that really really sucks. You know, at some point you will snap out of these bad brain days and you'll feel more motivated and happy, maybe even tomorrow already! I hope you can find something that makes you want to leave your bed again, I hope I will too :)Thanks for this video, I'm glad you're so open about this, you're stronger than you think.Take care x
Honestly these kinds of videos are my favourite. Just hearing about people's real lives, their struggles, their motivations, their feelings, I love it. Connecting, I guess.
I like seeing people genuinely laugh. I also like to just watch them being genuine. Thanks for opening up about this, Jack, because I have bad brain days too and you've given me the inspiration to acknowledge them and fight them
Saw the title and immediately knew what you were going to talk about. I had my own bad brain day earlier this week. I tend to have them right before I'm about to start another Big Creative Project - it's like my brain shuts down and says, "That's going to be really intense. Are you sure you're ready for that?" I talk myself into backing down, and I fall into this downward spiral until something or someone pulls me out of it. Then I get started on the Big Creative Project, and once I'm immersed in it I'm totally fine: it's fun and exciting because I'm making something that makes me happy. Writing/shooting/editing, it's the fuel that keeps me going. It's those in between times when I slow down and have more bad brain days... So yeah Jack, I can totally relate. Hope you feel better soon.
8 am is a morning person? jeez what the fuck am I doing up at 6:20
Hearing you talk about your bad brain days has made me feel like its okay to be having one of my own today. It's easy to forget that you're not the only person in the world feeling like this, so thank you Jack ☺️
I'm happiest when I've found a set of really good songs that are so good that I actually look forward to long mundane car journeys so I can listen to them.
bad brain days happen to me at least every month or so.
I try to get my head in my schoolwork as best i can - to distract myself but mostly i end up worsening it
writing helps me. sometimes it's lyrics, poems, stories mostly revolving around the description of scenery and people in particular. I take into account the tiny details.
Drawing helps as well. I like using pens and making weird doodles and creating a backstory for them.
I take time for myself as much as possible on my bad brain days. My dog by my side, notebook in hand and a pen.
I get bad brain days quite often. To the point where my psychiatrist has said "Dude, you need help." The days where it is worse I've cancelled projects or even stopped social activities because I just can't do it at that time. This has slightly dented my attendance at college, which is why I'm trying to help ease myself at the minute. Luckily, my exams are over, so a bit of a breather.
I can sometimes get it during projects, too. I'm currently doing some independent feature film stuff with some people (Can't disclose too much info, so you're welcome for the vagueness (If vagueness is a word...)), and I often find myself demotivated despite the incredible opportunity, which sucks. But, what I'm starting to come to terms with is when you feel this way, take everything in small steps. If you can, go at a pace you feel comfortable. From then on, during that day, week or whatever time period, that pace may be able to pick up, and you start to feel much better.
Hope this can potentially help to anyone reading this. Much love.
I've always had days like this and just called them "bad head days" as I've gotten older. You are the first person I've heard that actually acknowledges that this happens to people. My friends would know I would get like that but would just think I'm being "lazy" or "moody". Thank you for this video.
I'm happiest when taking care of others in need or being creative (sewing, outside projects, any crafty stuff really).
When I had my bad brain days back when I was in LA I didn't really do anything (just lay in bed reading countless fanfics) but I regret it so much I wish I could have gone out and explore places.
Now on my bad brain days I just draw mandalas and do some calligraphy...nothing comparable to your fascinating shorts, but it's like you when I'm occupied I feel happy and I feel satisfied looking at the finishing product :D
playing music of any kind with other people is my favourite thing in the world. I dunno why, i guess everyone there has a shared love of something, and we're all working together to make something as good as it can possibly be, while joking around. it's just incredible.
I call them bad brain too so this was something that hit close to home. I'm usually quite terrified of these because you don't know when they're gonna hit and its just the worst because you lose all motivation to do anything. What I found that helps me personally is just thinking about what would make me happy in that moment, for example with my future, I think about possible ideas I want to create and what my end goals are. Admittedly though, sometimes you just need to feel numb for a bit, well for me. At these points I watch films (etc) that are quite sad and make me feel nostalgic, let these inspire you. That's all. Hope you find what helps you.
It's 3pm and I'm laying in bed watching this video. Take from that what you will. I'm embracing it!
creating makes me happiest. when i'm making something and i know it could be good, i get this warm glowy feeling and i love it. but when the doubts creep in, and i'm creating things that i'm not sure are going to be good or not... the glow isn't quite as warm.
Writing makes me the happiest. I like being in the midst of creation, like you. I like the energy around it, the feeling of doing something brilliant. Writing helps me unload my brain. I think a mile a minute and my mouth is too slow for the thoughts happening in my brain and to be able to just blurt it all out on paper is therapeutic; it's wonderful. But I'm in the same boat as you right now, Jack. I can't force myself to write anything. Thinking about writing it is exhausting me. I've resorted to rewriting something, making it slightly better to help but even then that becomes tiring. The only method I've known to help is to keep writing, to force myself to do something. To get a cup of coffee and make myself feel good, then begin writing, even if it's a sentence a day.
You're not alone with feeling like this, Jack. But it's just forcing yourself to move one step at a time, from my experience
Tbh, my entire four years of uni was bad brain days that only got worse & worse as time went on, until it got to the point where in my final semester a month ago, a month before graduation, I just stopped. Just stopped working, stopped doing anything, despite it being my final year project. I couldn't do anything.
But yet here I am, with a degree in B.A. in Interior Design. Despite all those bad brain days, I made it through & I did graduate, even when I was so sure I wouldn't.
So good on you, Jack, & anybody else that reads this, for making it this far, even though you feel like you do. You have come this far; keep pushing, & you'll go even farther.
I had a similar feeling when I left my part-time job that I loved but it was so bad that I had mild anxiety because I couldn't get myself to do anything and when I finally forced myself to do something I would get panic attacks. What's making me happy right now is work, working on anything continuously (as you described) keeps me content and out of the sadness that comes with leaving something you love.
Hey, this is slightly relevant; people who motivate themselves in the second person are more motivated than those who do so in the first person. Also, the way I deal with bad brain days is by punishing myself for having a bad brain day in the hopes that it makes it less likely to occur again, I usually do this by doing the work I was meant to do for a longer amount of time (cutting into my breaks) as punishment, therefore getting a 'decent' amount of work done while decreasing the odds of it happening again
I'm so glad someone else calls them bad rain days, it's different from days where my brain's asleep or just off. But it's good we have given those days those names because it shows we're aware it's not our best days and we can try ways to help it. We KNOW what's going on, even when we think we don't.
a week or so ago I was trying very hard to get school work done but I couldn't so I moved on to working on my art project because that's something I enjoy but I couldn't work on that either and so I just laid on the ground, unable to get up for about 2.5, 3 hours? eventually it was like midnight so I got up and went to bed but I definitely relate to not feeling motivation at all. I think I'm happiest when I'm writing/directing theatre productions, or honestly just working on any form of art, I find it very rewarding and it's strange to think that there are days that I can't even be bothered to do that.
I have a lot of bad brain days but I think what makes me happiest is my family (especially my 8 year old sister), and art. I don't draw as a job so I struggle with the motivation to actually finish a drawing, even though I love it. But once I've pushed through the bad thoughts and just started doing something, I get so focused that I can't stop until it's finished. For the record, I think you're doing an amazing job at carrying on despite the bad brain days. 😊
I experienced this last year during uni. I had a folio due (studying music, majoring in jazz composition), and there was one day where I felt exactly how you described. But for me it didn't stop there, because it seeped into most of the semester. By talking to people, including teachers and friends, the solution for me was finding a point of reconnection.
I have as much passion to music as you do to film, and that emotional connection never left. But it was discipline that helped me begin to reconnect with music. I personally associate "motivation" with an emotional connection to a thing, and I never lost that; it was discipline that got me out of bed and got my ass in line. I sat at a piano and played my favourite pieces, I listened to my favourite artists, and I transcribed various works. Slowly, the creative wheel got turning and I was back on track to finishing the folio. I reconnected with music and began to write the music that, to this day, I'm most proud of.
I know you said you don't need advice, but fuck it I want to help anyway. A similar approach may work for you, it may not. If you're having another bad brain day, remind yourself why you want to be in this industry. Take the day or two to watch your favourite films, talk to people about film, or go to a cinema. Reconnect with your own love of film, and that might help you. If this doesn't help at all, at least know that everyone experiences it and pushes through in their own way, and I'm sure you'll figure out the solution that works best for you.
I know. I know this. I work in an office editing and for me, though, these days don't tend to happen when I have something to do: be it wake up and go to work, or planned hang out with friends or such. The worst is when you have a free day and this feeling comes in and you just stay there, not watching tv, not reading a book, not eating, not anything, just laying there, because the thought of actually doing anything almost gives you shivers. It doesn't happen often to me, but when it does the day is wasted and I feel more tired than after a full day of work.
Acting, writing, and watching and reading scripts, makes me happiest because I like exploring things I wouldn't necessarily explore in my own life. It gives me something to pour all my energy into, however, I am prone to burning out. My brain loves me 😂
When I have bad brain days/moments, I just watch tv shows. Or stand-ups. Comedy is the thing that makes me the happiest, and even just making dumb jokes to friends or even just to myself is something that takes my mind off of the bad. Hope you feel better soon x
I love when people can be honest about things like this that are a very real part of being human. Definitely being in the middle of a project doing something you love keeps you away from bad brain days, but other than that, calling up a friend. It may seem obvious, but it's the only thing I've found that really, effectively helps. Because the worst bit is that feeling of empty, disconnectedness when you're not doing anything. Just talking to someone reminds you that you're normal and the feeling will pass.
My happiest stems sort of from the same place yours does. Mine is performing, specifically dancing on a stage. There's something so overwhelmingly blissful about finishing a number with barely any breath in your lungs and hearing the audience applaud you for it. Maybe it's self centred, but that feeling can carry me through even weeks later 💚
I'm happiest when I'm sat in the car with my dad and best friend, listening to music, chatting and watching the world go by... 😊
people make me the happiest. their difference, experiences and memories, looks. how everyone brings different things to the table, voices and thoughts. they bring energy and words and fill the world. this makes me happy.
I can't agree more,Jack. I'm having a gap year rn and I can't wait for uni but I'm at that stage of life where you just try to keep yourself occupied by ANYTHING just so you don't spend the day glaring the ceiling and inevitably drowning into the feeling of worthlessness. Bad brain day - more like bad brain year 😥
I think making people smile or laugh is one of the greatest feelings in the world. That and being able to create or be part of something that people can relate to or learn from. Even for myself, creating things helps me appreciate and observe my own perspective and personality which is cool.
Totally relate to this. I have a chronic headache condition, it means I can only realistically work part time. I'm trying to find work for months & it's so difficult to motivate myself some days just to get up & do something. Have to say recently I've got back into writing regularly as I've signed up to do my Masters through open university in October. I've ended up getting into fan fiction on tumblr & it's great cause I'm even getting requests now. It's really handy for when I'm stuck writing my own pieces that I have something to switch to & it means I'm still doing what I love. I'd advise anyone who struggles with motivation to use a bullet journal. You can be creative as you like with it, it gets you super organised & it's really satisfying when you get everything on your list ticked off. :)
Understand entirely what you mean by a "bad brain day". If my creativity level whilst writing or general mood on a normal day drops, there's nothing better than experiencing a day that's simple but for some reason above the 'line of content' you described. I call it an "unexpected happy day" - might be worth looking out for. Hope the remainder of your writing goes well, Jack.
I regularly rewatch your video "Confident and Insecure". I think I have shared it everywhere I could and all my friends have seen it because of me. I make youtube videos too for 5 years now sharing what's it in my head at the moment (in french and somewhat boring, you don't need to see). Since my content is based on my emotions and reflections about the world around me, it is kind of difficult to hide when I'm not here. And being self employed, I have those bad brain days. What I do to overcome this is the following. I have a list of things I want to do or learn and I know I would be sad long term if I don't do or learn those things. I know I won't do or learn those things if I don't kick my own ass because no one cares about those things but me. They are small things like: drawing more, playing guitar, reading, dancing, coding python... And when I wake up, I wake up to do stuff out of this list. So it makes sense to me to get up because I genuinely know these things are going to make me happy short term and long term. Each time I feel like I am not there or I have bad emotions like "you're not good enought, you are going to fail", I just draw. Yes, it is childish but it works so... Don't care about my 30 years old.
Hope it helps...
I am happiest when overwhelmed with good stress. I just finished my third year of architecture and we often do 60 hour weeks in the lead up to a final project hand up. It's creatively exhausting, it's physically and mentally exhausting, but I live for it.
I really like these honest videos of yours, I'm self employed and I really struggle with patches of 'bad brain days' and it's nice to see someone who I always perceive as success and perfect showing his flaws and saying when he struggles, so thank you ❤️
I have a lot of bad brain days, especially in the past 2 years, and it's gotten to the point where I have more bad days than good ones, and the bad days are my new normal. What makes me happiest is when I'm working, when I'm being productive. If I'm doing things that are worthwhile, then I feel like I'm needed, that I'm of use, and that I'm actually important rather than I'm just existing for no reason.
Exploring and finding new places makes me happiest. Even if I just take a drive around my town and go into a shop I've never been to before, or if I drive further away and go to a place I've seen in pictures or on Instagram, I feel good inside. Seeing things and places for the first time gives me this feeling of being very small in a big world, and it just makes everything better for a little while. Thank you for talking about this, I hope you have some better brain days ahead of you x
I'm happiest when I'm laughing so I appreciate the work you put so much of your energy into, Jack.
i'm at my most happiest when i'm doing long day rehearsals for a show. I'm in the place that i love, the theatre, for 12 hours a day with the people that I love and doing the thing I love. I get to leave my problems and worries ourside the door and I get to be someone else. I'm constantly working and making myself better and i'm surrounded by people who feel the same.
Did write a long comment of sympathising but heard your final question and decided to answer that instead. particularly on bad brain days, i enjoy catching up on tv shows. Films seem a bit daunting sometimes because they're longer and require more focus to learn characters etc, whereas it's easier to slip into another episode of a tv show you've watched for ages. They're great for distraction and giving the brain a rest from itself, and sometimes i find they help clear the bad brain day fog, even if it's just a bit.
If I'm able to, i also try and walk. there's a park near my student halls with a little animal enclosure, so i can go and watch the guinea pigs, birds etc for a bit. At home I sit in the garden. fresh air always helps me.
I just realized how difficult it is for me to accept someone telling me that they don't need/want advice when I feel like they aren't 100% ok... I am going to try and work on that. As for now, have an internet hug, Jack