ULTIMATE ADMIRAL DREADNOUGHTS - sPAIN - EPISODE 6
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- #ultimateadmiraldreadnoughts #ultimateadmiral #blackpantslegion
This is not a serious take on naval history, but more a shitpost thereof. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.
INTRO - / uad-spain-habanera-har...
The game is Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: store.steampow...
In Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts you play as the head of a navy doing what the head of navies do best - spend entirely too much money on holes in the water, or, in laymans terms, ships. You can design very stupid things. I do this.
Music from Epidemic Sound - www.epidemicso... - Ігри
"I didnt ruin history, other countries did" says Tex standing in front of a time machine
I mean, on the one hand he is to blame for the time machine, but on the other, America could be at least partially blamed for everything from here on out since they wanted to force the issues at the start. You get some blame, and you get some blame, and you get some blame! Everybody get's some blame!
Tex: "History was like that when I got here."
"National Anti-Turkish Operations", "Nations Against Turkish Occupation", "Networking Around Terrifying Ottomans"... the jokes just write themselves honestly.
Ironguard here: I do indeed approve of laying name to the ship with the best bang-pew. As you were, gentlemen.
"And then it got complicated..." And then somehow never stopped being compilcated. I can just imagine historians trying to explain what happened with a conspiracy board.
Don't historians already have to do that?
@@ColonelEviscerator They normally manage to keep it to 2 dimensions. Tex requires extra string and the LONG pins.
"When every square meter of free deck space has a 20mm Oerlikon mounted on it, *then and only then* is it enough firepower." --The US Navy
BPL needs a cooking channel to fully realize the cursed fusion cooking caused by these alternate history empires. Japanese/Mexican hibachi fajitas, Italian/Russian wedding-borscht soup, etc.
We have Spanish invasion of the Ottoman Empire and a Chinese occupation of Afghanistan. Man, the Middle East is going to be SPICY in this timeline.
More spicy than what we have?
I dont think its possible.
What Tex said: "We're gonna build some good-ass Destroyers!"
What I heard: "We're gonna build some good Ass-Destroyers!"
It can be both things.
Almirante Tex headlines a ceremony in Spanish Miami, wherein he introduces the new vice-admiral of the Spanish Armada, Commander Billy Herrington.
I'm not sure If I mentioned this previously but it bears repeating, kudos to the creative who made that banger of an opening.
Spain: "I'm just a widdle guy."
Spain: Also has 3X the GDP of the U.S.
"Japan owns Mexico"
Imagine the awesome Samurai and/or Cowboy movies you would get from that mix of culture.
Also, the blend of food would be to kill for. Que Rico!
Came to the comments to say this. Imagine the sushi westerns of Kurosawa! Although I hope that Ennio Morricone would still end up scoring them, even if he got into the industry after escaping whatever the hell happened to Italy.
Also? ALSO! Teriyaki tacos. Mmmmmmm. Yes.
"We were going to call it Nations Against Terrifying Ottomans...but they heard..."
5:08 Alternate history where every splinter faction and third world army has poorly made Turkish automatic shotguns instead of AK's
tex one piece of advice: it takes a couple of turns before mothballed ships begin to sell. If you want to be rid of them right away, scrap them, but if you are okay waiting 4-10, months then mothball and sell them
3:56 "and then we'll do a 6 and a 6 and a 6"
ITS THE DEVILS SHIP
YOU DEAF? THE HUMAN SACRIFICES WILL CONTINUE
"Father Antonio, get the cross. The HEAVY cross"
From the Spanish Main to Spanish Maine. Also, did anyone else notice Belgium has captured the Netherlands?
Happens terrifyingly frequently.
I must admit, I did not have Kebabageddon on my bingo card for this campaign.
I don't even want to think about how ruinous the spirit in America would be at this point. To be on the verge of being a great power only to lose ALL of the east/gulf coast.
and then just when you think you're safe, germany takes the entire west coast. We have to put the new capital in like Ohio or Michigan or something.
A second Civil War happens but the two big power centers are the Great Lakes shipping companies and the Mormon Church.
And here we go again, the sPain.
Welcome to Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts, where we break history.
That intro gets funnier every time.
It's honestly kind of refreshing to not see a dreadnoughts playthrough not treat each ship as if was the Washington naval treaty and needing to minmax for every single ton.
You're reminding me that I do not miss vanilla dreadnoughts pitch and roll values one bit though.
I'm coming off some dental work that's done my head in today and can testify that anesthesia did not improve the intro experience. I am now more terrified than I was by it to begin with.
You know it's a good episode when Tex has to say "I don't know what happened" multiple times and none of them reference his own forces.... 🤣🤣
I smegging love the intro music so much, best theme song so far XD
I catch myself "dancing" to it every time
I'm partial to the Russian Empire theme he did.
Tex, adjust your beam and draught! Your ships can go farther and are more efficient if you narrow beam and lengthen the ship by increasing draught.
Considering his background, I think it hurts him deeply to make his ships even worse at sea keeping.
@testtest6169 meh, more guns = better.
This is the most chaotic timeline yet.
ALL SHIPS MAKE SMONK!!!! 💨💨💨💨💨
Can't help but smile every time I watch the intro to this series :D
I need to wake up in like 5 hours, why do I have to suffer this (S)pain?
P.s. glad to see the Capitanía General de Guatemala almost complete again
The only good part about being up this early. Cheers
Evet, elde ettiğin şey bu!
Well, this game has taken several unexpected turns.
Wondering what Admiral Tex did to fend off the Hapsbergs from ruining everything.
I love this intro. It's pure magic.
Tex, a man launched backwards in time to change history: "I'm not the one who ruined history".
I want to see Tex play as Japan and do what the Japanese couldn’t do in ww2 and take the Pacific
Sounds more like a HOI play through. I'm not sure this game has enough tech in the tech tree for WWII era ships.
Though, it would be a nice change to see San Fran and Los Angeles becoming nuclear craters. XD
@@Kirkmaximus The tech goes up to 46’ give or take. No carriers, but you can mount 19” and 20” guns that were proposed but never put on a ship.
@ oh there is tech to go that far… I’ve made the Des Moines class heavy us cruiser which was a very late ww2 ship
Imagine the ottomans going from being the sick man of Europe returning to being a force that a unified alliance of nations must collectively resist once again is wild. NATO becoming Nations Against the Terrifying Ottomans in this mad timeline.
A 10th Crusade you say?
Deus Vault?
this intro slaps every time. good job!
The beginning still makes me feel I'm tripping Balls
Ah yes, everyone remembers that time America went into exile in South America and Alaska, and Italy became just the city of Rome.
If one day Norway becomes playable, the world will know vikings are still a thing ⛵
As someone who lives on the West Coast, I'm absolutely down for the Germans coming over here and preventing the proliferation of IPA's.
Same, actually. I was hoping the rise of ciders would have displaced IPAs... no such luck. Portland has a thousand small brews but NO DRINKABLE BEER!
Thanks Tex, I needed this.
I believe the Historian, S.T.P. Taylor said of this era, "Aaaaaaaaaa. Aaaaaaa. Aaaa. I feel a little sick."
Thanks for the birthday present!
Western samurai? Like Ghost dog? Underrated Forest Whitaker film.
In this timeline, "Mele Kalikimaka" is a mariachi tune
Hmm. It'd have to be the chapter in the history book after the scramble for Africa.
The scramble for everywhere that isn't here.
Right before chapter the third. Oh fuck, the scramble for here too I guess.
Portland, Maine shoutout heck yeah
lotta boats came out of Maine, the Bath Iron Works does good work
This is what happened when a time traveler moved a chair a bit.
👍🏻👍🏻
So this what a Succession War in the early 20 century would look like minus the nukes and no ComStar...all that crazy border flip-flop leaves me just as dumbfounded as Tex.
i stg big spain is gonna make modern era at this rate
What is this timeline? We moved more than a chair
I really hope we get to see the BC Jesus in action
Looking forward to sushi tacos.
... taco pescadores seaweedia?
Should keep an eye on the Dreadnought Improvement Project mod for the game, actually brings the Byzantine Empire back as a playable nation. (Along with a few others)
Its not released for the 1.7 patch just yet, but soon TM
It seems like america dying early on just completely breaks the balance of nations. All hell breaks loose, I've never seen this game with that much border gore.
29:02 someone make this man’s game a reality! I want this game and play it and beat my head against European politics while fighting aliens!!
BEGIN THE OTTOMOCALYPSE
OTTOMAGEDDON!
Got my hands now ontge Game too, since your voice helped me yet again through my Cluster migrene earlier, plus i Like dat Game.
Downside as a German i Had to Go for Germany, lets say France and the UdSSR are now the German Empire , i violated so much History and ITS only 1922.
An interesting history of America where its aggressive expansionism post civil war caused it to collapse.
Is this the work up to timeline of "The Last Castle"
the ottomans kicked my ass while I was playing the usa recently. Weakened me enough that the rest of the world bounced on me.
Doof doof doof. Best opening soundtrack thing since they used Kadebostany Walking with ghosts for Deathwing trailer.v
So
The ottacountries ruined history Tex?
yes.
10:05 Somaliland mentioned woot.
- Why does Tex never adjust the beam and draught? 🤔
34:00 Isn't that what Japan thought when they attacked Pearl Harbor? Didn't work so well for them...
Spanish Hawaii... so instead of Spam Musube we get Tapas with Poi?
Hype!
Whats your Stimulant of Choice
Rattlesnake venom injected via syringe straight into my urethra. Three times every day for the past decade.
My dick do be hurtin tho...
Why does Tex upload in the middle of the night? Not complaining, just curious.
Because he’s an insomniac?
because like batman he does his best work at night
I have been trying now for 17 game years to fight someone and the game absolutely refuses to lower my rep with anyone. 17 years! The reputation system is completely broken now.
If I lower it by 10 or 12 points with France or Germany or the UK (I defeated all other powers by 1902) the game inexplicably raises it at the same time by 30 points so I cant ever lower it. Its trying to force me to ally with all other powers. So I tried accepting an alliance so I could break the alliance for the 100 point drop and the game raised it again by 40 to 50 points THE SAME MONTH anyway even with the 100 point drop from the break! What kind of broken nonsense is that?
It wont let me invade minor powers either or fight ungoverned territories. The AI aligned all minor powers with France, Germany and the UK (Im playing Russia).
So, essentially, the game refuses to let me fight anyone and its trying to force me to ally with all remaining powers so it can declare peace and end the game without losing to the player.
This is all because of the Final Update. So, for 17 game years I cant fight anyone at all. Worse, I'm struggling constantly to keep morale up so I dont lose due to civil unrest but it just rises on its own for no reason even though I have a good economy and $10B+ in the bank. I tried putting fleets off the coast of major or minor powers and rep just goes up even faster. The rep system is totally broken.
The game just cheats and cheats.
Happy early hours
Great Britain colonized New New Hampshire
First. Maybe. Who cares?
Steampunk XCOM is the most wonderful thing I can imagine. Someone please please please pick that idea up and run with it!