Ok the part about performative journaling is so real. I think it's a product of social media where we feel like we don't have any privacy... even within our literal DIARY
Makes me so happy to see yall say there is an end in sight, most of the time I'm worried and frustrated that it's just consumerism being pushed into my head making me feel never enough unless I buy different things as my tastes change somewhat dramatically every year, but the more I'm mindful and work on it the less it happens so this gives me hope it's worth it
I’ve had weight changes throughout my life, and grew up where I was the “thin one” in a family of plus sized women who had ZERO self confidence and hid in their clothes. They had all experienced So Much random abuse from strangers and relatives throughout their lives…. It was difficult for me to understand style and confidence, and has been a lifelong journey. When I gained weight again post-menopause/Covid, I didn’t even realize that everything I thrifted for my new plus size was a “desperation purchase.” It was all baggy, bland, hide-me clothes! I was becoming invisible… So I changed that. In my mind, I’m honoring the women I loved by remembering to dress without fear, to express who I am regardless of weight (or age! I’m 55 now).
the last part you wrote about honoring the women you’ve loved by dressing without fear is really beautiful, and I also want to adopt that mindset/thought when dressing and just existing in the world. sending you so much love 💗💗
The realization that has helped me the most in starting to figure out my style is that I will often like a style on someone else but not on me. Like, I love the cute little pastel adorable outfits but I always feel off if i wear them myself. I kept buying things i thought were so cute on the hanger but when i put them on they really didn't feel like me. Sometimes you enjoy looking at something, as if it were art work, but that doesn't mean that it's your style. I've had the most success by thinking about what vibe, what emotion i want to give off and then dressing for that.
i completely agree with what you said about not dressing to be 'flattering', i don't care if the things i like aren't 'suited' to me, i dress in what makes me happy, not what you think looks good on me
also what you said about faking it til you make it, i still don't have the best self esteem but ever since i switched from self-deprecating jokes to self-aggrandizing ones. sure, you might be joking when you say how great you are at whatever, but it's better than berating yourself all the time
Also "flattering" means different Things for different people AND it Changes over time. I remember when lowrise Jeans were regarded as "flattering" and high rise Jeans as "making your Butt Look too big". Ankle Boots going from "unflattering" because the, allegedly Made your legs Look short to being unverisally cute. Eyebrows going from basically non existent to highly stylized Bars in your face. These days i dress mostly in Vintage and Retro clothes (mostly 40-60s, those wideleg trousers are sooo comfy for an office Job) because I think it's flattering. But i know plenty of people wouldnt Like the Long skirts because theyre "oldfashioned". I dont Care. I Like skirts that enable me to sit crosslegged in the Grass 😂
I grew up in Miami and was bigger too! I remember wearing hoodies and jeans in the summer. Friends and family would ask me why I didn't wear summer clothes as if they didn't make horrible comments about fat people all the time. I'm much more confident now and your content has helped me a ton!!! Keep slaying the style game babes
Totally relate to the negative weight loss and positive feedback. Recently lost a lot of weight due to severe illness and surgery, and all my family was saying I looked amazing, never looked better, I looked “so healthy” etc even tho they knew I lost weight because I was sick and I definitely was not healthy, and when I started to recover and could eat properly and gained some weight back all the compliments stopped. I’m glad I’m at a point where I feel good about myself regardless of what I get told about how I look, but if that had happened to me when I was a bit younger it would have crushed me
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! I’m glad that you’re at a good place in your life to deal with those comments + know better, though. sending you so much love 💗💞💕💗
Not a "fat" Girl but i experienced that stuff too a few years ago which was... Not fun. I have Body Image issues and HATE the Feeling to Not be in Control, so when i suddenly lost weight due to Stress (Turns out that really messes with me) and i mentioned it to a friend because it was legitimately scaring me, i got: "oh but it really suits you" My mum Made it worse by going how good i "now" looked. Which of course activated the tiny voice in my brain that told me that If i looked good "now" i must have looked Bad "before". Thanks brain. That was a few years ago. Last year sth similar happened. Had a horrible time and Stress and probably mental health shenanigans and lost a noticeable amount of weight. I havent even bothered telling my Family about my Life because the Last Thing i need is more positive Feedback to Something that is the result of a pretty shitty time in my Life.
The same happened to my dad. I had never thought about it :/. Thank you for talking about your experience. Also, it's so sad how different people treat you once you regain weight. It's crazy how much people associate thinness with being healthy.
making your own clothes/accessories, even "just" a scarf, belt or trapezoid skirt, is very exciting - as a fat person with a colorful, wacky style it is so affirming to make the clothes i want to see in the world! :D the fat sewing community is beautiful, vibrant and very supportive of newbies
omg this advice is so helpful! i appreciate your advice on overconsumption and over thrifting. overconsumption is so encouraged (both implicitly and explicitly), and I think a lot of fashion advice is just “buy more.” i really love your insight in fashion and i always love hearing what you have to say!
overconsumption is definitely encouraged (thanks capitalism) but it’s sooo important to be mindful of what you’re buying + how much! ((also thank you so much for ur kind words :”) ))
When you talked about your weight loss due to grief, I totally related. I lost 80lbs after my divorce because of anxiety (I thought if I ate I would die) so I was really emotionally messed up, but everyone around me praised me and told me I looked amazing. It was so psycho and totally effed me up. No one (literally no one - family, friends, etc) could see that this weight loss was nothing to praise because it was only due to mental illness. It also made me realize how everyone thought I looked like crap before my weight loss, and only now was I attractive because I was smaller. I had to drop several friends because I realized their ideas about me were toxic.
I'm man who had similar issues and yes I'm big. Finding your style is rough but when you get there, the feeling is amazing. My struggle was that I'm feminine when it comes to my fashion style. I like colors, different materials, outfits that aren't in the men section, nail polish, heels, feminine jeweley. Stuff that is not for men and society codes made it hard. Being fat didn't help either and fear of judgement was way overboard. Then one day I just grew up and quit caring. Today, I'm not as big as I use to be and that fear of being judged is long gone. I don't follow trends, I just put pieces together and rock it. Its my life and I'm living it.
As someone who didn't allow myself to wear what I wanted to until my 50's, I really appreciate this video. I always let my husbands and mother tell me how old-fashioned my clothes were-I dress very retro now-and then i decided screw that, this is what I like and really suits my body type and I it's my body so deal. Now I get so many compliments and expressions of "I wish I had your confidence!" I feel good in my clothes and I wish I had let myself do so before! And now my partner appreciates ME and whatever I like he likes. I've even had my kids' friends tell me I'm always "on fleek" or so cool! My kids have taken on my confidence as well,or maybe they taught me. Also, WEAR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE GYM!!! Don't let the gym bunnies or elders pass judgment on what allows you to workout in what is comfortable.
I struggle bad with the whole "well it fits me, I should buy it" thought process as a fat and tall person because clothes so rarely fit me properly. I am 6 feet tall give or take and there is like a 1-2 size difference between my waist and hips depending on the size chart. Plus I am broke lol. one thing that does help me is when I do find those "kinda cute" pieces, I take a picture in the fitting room.
oh, I definitely feel that. as a fellow fat + tall person with proportions that aren’t catered to a lot in plus size clothing, I also struggled with buying things just because they fit me. sometimes it definitely is out of necessity (because we need clothes to exist in the world) and I’m definitely not trying to shame that. sometimes you just gotta do what u can!
@@lovejessicablair I don’t think I fully came to terms with it until like last year. I was feeling that “I have so many clothes but nothing to wear” hard. But my body also changed a lot in the past year or so and I grew out of majority of my clothes so that was another battle on top of this one. I have given soo many clothes to my smaller friends and it feels nice to give them a new home but whew the body grief is there too. I hope that I can really get to experience my style once I get a stable job and all that.
I empathize with you a lot Jess, i was the fat kid (and i’m still fat) but now i’m not afraid to show my body. One of the most bizarre things i realized now that i’m 24 is that when i was a kid/teen i was so surprised if anyone treated me decently even tho i was “fat”.
I totally agree on the over-consumption of thrifting. I used to go at least once a week because it was my only hobby outside of my home and something do to when I just needed to get out of the house. I've scaled it back, not only in going but what I am buying. I went yesterday for something I actually needed (pocket dictionary) and grabbed a couple of clothing items, walked around with them and then realized, I don't actually want them. I have a skirt in the same color as the shorts I grabbed, also I don't really like shorts. I love the idea of those jean skirts that look like they were DIYed from pants, but I know that style of skirt, doesn't look good on me or make me feel good. So I put them back. This was wonderful. Thank you.
I really need to let you know - and please take this to heart❤- that the way you were inspired by those bloggers: you ARE inspiring young (and us ”grown ups”) plus-sizers today! Thank you so much for that! Everytime I watch your videos my self esteem and confidence grown a bit. Days when I feel off - your videos are my medicine! Once again: please take this your heart: thank you for everything you are and do as a fat-girl-inspiration/confidence-source 💁🏼♀️❤ Sending all my love from Sweden❤ 🇸🇪
@@lovejessicablair to get a answer for you made my day and warmed my heart overhere in the Nordic Cold! 🥶 thank you for that! You’re such an inspiration ❤️🙏🏻
@@courtneygrier2015 Im so happy she did too🥹🥹🥹 it’s the first time some of my influencers have interacted with me and that it were for just this one - that came directly from my heart - is so amazing ❤️❤️ Hello from cold Sweden to you, sunny Kansas ❤️🌍
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in March 2023. And because of the pills, I've gained 30 kilos. You helped me love my body more. Right now, I don't have many things in my wardrobe that fit me. I will use these tips. Love your looks and long talk videos!!! Thank you ❤
i’m 24 and still stuck in my childhood mindset of hiding and being ashamed of my body and “tricking” people into seeing my body differently so i love this video so much and thank you. i want so much to be able to wear the clothes i actually like and i’ll get there eventually not only are u an absolute icon in every other way, following u on twitter and seeing ur pro palestine and covid cautious just made me adore u even more. u are wonderful and i’m so happy i found ur content
I couldn't agree with your points more! I have caught myself on over thrifting the tops and shirts and anything for my torso cause I am smaller there and it's easier to finding sth that either fits or cute and beatiful looking on the top of me VS how AF hard it is to find a pair of jeans that is at least Ok for me. so thanks for your video. Hope you have a great 2024!
Not me thinking about the zoro earrings from one piece i purchased while you're talking about taking inspiration from the media you consume 😂😭 it does make me feel something and even though it's kinda goofy with these earrings you're making such an important point. Thank you for this wonderful video!
I started experimenting with my style for the first time in quarantine. It was exciting at first, but gradually became more frustrating as i struggled to match the aspirational imagery I found online. Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s encouraging to see that your style is something that you found over time. Just because I haven’t found my style yet doesn’t mean that doesn’t exist :)
i struggle with body dysmorphia and just lack of confidence in my chubby body, especially because i am trying to find my style. this video helped me a lot, and i love your content and really appreciate the type of vibes you put out into the world! (:
To my fellow fat people, ask yourself, do you hate yourself for being fat? Or, do you hate the way people treat you because you’re fat? That’s how i got my confidence. Also knowing that literally you’re gonna be ugly to someone because beauty is subjective and it depends on the person you ask. LOVE YOURSELF! LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!!!
I hated being fat and how it made me feel. I don't even mean I felt bad about myself for being fat or anything. I mean I was always hot. I was always uncomfortable. I couldn't do basic things like tie my shoes without holding my breath. My legs and back and feet hurt. I felt heavy and lethargic. I hated myself for being fat because it affected my quality of life
@@mysharona6754 I get that! Being fat is definitely on a spectrum when it comes to health. All that matters is you feeling good about yourself, so hopefully you’re able to work towards or are at a stage of happiness with yourself 🥰
It’s funny bc fatties usually say society treats them bad bc guys who are 10s won’t date them, but then those same fat girls won’t date fat guys who are in their league either lol
I'm starting to think that confidence is a habit more than a trait someone has. Its my favorite way of explaining why fake it till you make it works, at least.
The "fuck it I'm 25" does indeed happen more and more as you age--I'm almost 36 and have gotten moreso like that as the years have gone by 😊 loved this video, thank you for being so genuine!!
This might be my favourite video you’ve ever made! Your content brings me so much joy and confidence, and these tips are super helpful. I’m 27 and the personal style quest feels never ending ❤
i am in love with all of your insights, advice, and just you being you!! i do not see enough influencers actually talk about these things because.. it's usually them (atleast the majority that i see on my feed) promoting the fact to buy like every single new item that's cute and trendy especially from fast fashion brands (that are unethical btw..) when they have like a bajillion clothes already 😭😭 i so so agree with you when you said that repeating outfits or clothes in general is normal!! i do not know who INJECTED the notion to society that clothes we've seen before equals to like being not trendy or dare i say it, "poverished" !! LIKE laundry and washing machine exist for a reason 😭😭 we should fr normalize outfit repeating and clothes repeating more it's the bare minimum
your video popped up in my feed and i have a similar experience as you, got more comfortable with my chub and dont take the criticism of my body to heart no more helps, fake it til you make it helps, letting go of people that are not in my best interest helps, and living out my teen dreams of being a cute fashion girl with fun makeup with my big girl money has been really nice 💖💕 you're making me more motivated to post more to share that joy of dressing up with everyone, i wish everyone that stubbled into this video to take this as an opportunity to really Do What You Want (so long u aint hurting anyone nor urself) 💖
I PLATONICALLY LOVE YOU!!!!! I love your shorts but I really appreciate your long ones. Thank you for being a voice for us fatties because we are baddies 😎
The myth that “flattering” is objectively best - agree!!! Talking about what’s flattering is just a less overt way of talking about what’s sexually attractive (on a very one dimensional level that doesn’t even begin to really measure the complexity of sexiness), and that’s such an outdated standard to be boxed in by! No shade if you want to dress for sexual attraction but it’s only one of many many different values that might make an outfit worth wearing. And dressing to accentuate a conformist body shape has little to do with expressing personal sexuality or sensuality either.
I love the part of giving a f*** about flattering. That is something I struggle with. I used to be very skinny and now that I've become a mom my body changed a lot and I don't feel confident anymore to wear that crop tops I used to. And I'm somewhere in between "crop tops are just for the male gaze and they shouldn't be worn at all" and "I need to wear them anyways to normalize bodytipes that aren't the beauty standard" but I'm not confident enough to expose myself like that. Thought I admire women who wear crop tops even though they aren't in the beauty standard range! Go for it big ladies! ❤❤❤
Grew up as "the thin one" in the family to getting the "family curse" and all my confidence depleted and never really came back. Now im finally working on loving myself and my body the way it is. ❤
man talking about your lowest point getting the most outward praise. As a trans man I definitely got this. I was hit on, received the most success in my career, and other ventures of my life and in my family when I felt the most dysphoric exploring my more femme side while I was still in the closet as a trans man essentially trying to bury my identity. It was painful and then to basically be cast away and have all my fears realized when I did come out and began to transition. I'm sorry because even as a midsized queer person they carry clothing in my size at every thrift store and major mall outlet in the current fashion trend. I cant imagine trying to cope and basically living with that new body (and potentially the bad physical feelings that may occur with the mental health issues) while having that external social pressure. For me at least it was the body I already knew, I had just dressed it differently. When mine changed it became better. I am glad you found yourself and I hope others do too :) I actually sought this to help a friend who asked for my fashion advice.
I grew up in the midwest, and though we were in a city, I still viscerally feel you on the collective pressure to wear clothing that’s as bland and as possible 😂 I love how this video has me reminiscing on my own style history. Growing up poor, we’d thrift just in order to be clothed. My mom bought me ugly coats several sizes too large so they’d last a few years. In the recent few years, I’ve really struggled with climate-anxiety, and obsessing over my choices before purchasing. You gave me some perspective with your thoughts on balancing consumption with expression. I’ve made a couple dud purchases recently, but I don’t need to feel guilty, because ultimately I’m purchasing vastly less than the average person in the US.
Ugh thak you for talking about over-thrifting. My style advice/moto forever has been if you have somthing in your closet that you think is ugly literally find a different way to wear it. SHOP IN YOUR CLOSET. Like i belive that like 90ish% of clothing in thrifts end up in landfills anyway!!!!! I'm definitely not saying don't donate to thrifts but think about your clothing crittically. If your cleaning out your closet TRY ON EVERY PIECE and whenever i go through my closet i like to keep it one for at least 10 minutes AND try it with other combinationd and acssessorys. Ugh thank you for bringing up acssessorys they can make or break an outfit. Also thank you for touching on trends its ok to like somthing thats trendy, if you want a stanly because you think they're cute and you genuinely like them than go get one but if you let whats trendy dictate what you like i'm sorry but your doing it wrong. (And I'm a strong believer that there is no wrong way to do fashion)I cant even begin to talk about how bad the trend cycle is for the environment in a youtube comment. Anyway no matter who you are or what you look like if you try your hardest to love yourself then things will get better. Also also also thank you for talking about journaling. I have been jouraling for almost 4 years and as a teen whos uber conservative parents dont belive in therapy journaling is straight up the reason im still in this plane of existence. Anyway i didnt even get to all the thoughts that were circulating in my mind during this video but this rant has gone on far to long. Honestly just love yourself and if you dont then i will. 🐛😘 Edit: I just read this and realized that nothing I said made any sense or flowed in a normal way🤠. Edit again (ugh i know shes back): today i went thrifting and bought 6 peices and i was feeling really guilty and really hypocritical. But then i watched this video and i turned my phone off and i was like come on babe you havent gone shopping in 7 months its ok you havent bought anything firsthand in almost a year and a half. Like your doing great babe every little bit counts right.
honestly my top tip is finding influencers and celebrities with your body type and watch how confident they are and try and understand that its okay to like urself :)
I totally understand the flattering part! I personally don’t have that opinion but I always take a step back at ‘how to dress for your body type’ videos and realize this is a 100 pound 5’ 2 white lady body shaming people (most of the time) I prefer to dress for my body type because it happens to be that I don’t dress for my body type to hide my body, just show off my favorite features, jasmine ke has a great video on dressing for your body type but it feels a little more relaxed and on howto show off what you want. Tgat being said, you are one of my favorite content creators, I totally feel the ‘bring the large st in the group’ i have friends like 50 pounds lighter and super skinny talking about how fat they feel, which is valid, but i feel like thats middle class people talking about how their parents couldnt afford an Xbox AND iPhone when you got cheap gifts (or even none depending) anyways so much yapping later: i love your videos, and you outfits are genuinely so slay, and you do frigging pretty imma cry
I feel the basics struggle, I dress goth/alternative and very much found it was very easy to get a hold of 'fun' alternative clothes I might not be able to style easily but then finding the more simple pieces was a struggle but now I think I have a decent balance now. i've also noticed it's not just an alternative fashion problem it seems to be a plus sized clothing problem in general, plenty of the time I see plenty of 'statement' options for plus sizes and yet trying to find say a basic t-shirt or something is near impossible. Also the not really developing a personal style until you're a bit 'older' as due to the clothes you actually wanted just didn't exist in your size. Also to this day I've found in terms of plus sized clothing, belts. Belts are so hard to find in larger sizes I guess they assume 'fat' people don't need belts but no sometimes we need belts.
As a 23yo with a full time job in education/therapy, it is sooo hard to implement any sort of style in my outfits for work bc i want to be comfy and mobile but also look cute and serve looks so its been hard bc for a while all i had were crop tops! hopefully i can find my style and implement it in work fits too
You are helping me so much with my self love journey. Everytime I feel insecure about wearing an outfit that I like, I just think of you (like i genuinely think "what would jessica say to me?"😭) and I tell myself to wear it, bc my opinion is literally the only one that matters. And btw I love your outfits and especially how creative you are with accessorizing, I take a lot of inspiration from that because we actually share very similar styles. So thank you so much for all of your content and thank you so much for literally just existing you're amazing ilysm😭💘💗
You are so beautiful. I’m glad I ran into your UA-cam channel. Your videos make me happy and help because of the size I am. This video helped me so much.
Even though I’m in the extremely early stages of accepting myself and finding a style I like, accepting that As Long As I’m Fat, I’m Gonna Look Fat has been insanely valuable in just getting me out of the house without wasting an hour cycling through outfits in search of something that makes me look smaller
People really underestimate how difficult it is to be confident and fat. And they really dont get just how vital representation really is. Im 32, wore jeans and sweats for 15 years straight even through BONAROO MUSIC FEST IN TENESSEE I WAS SO MISERABLE FOR SO LONG. and there was NO WHERE to shop but catos or fashion bug ... And youre right. When you realize the baggy clothes are not hiding the fact that youre fat the whole concept falls apart. Your body is your body no matter what you wear. Also becoming chronically ill at 21 helped. I long for the days when my biggest concerns about my body were external body image issues. I wasted so much fuckin time letting myself be dehumanized and de femenized. Fat girls were not allowed to be femme or fashionable, you drew attention to yourself and put a target on your back. Keep doing what youre doing. It's important. And every hate comment you get is proof that what youre doing genuinely matters.
Feel like I`m just in the middle of finding my style with 26. Quite recently, I made an effort to declutter my wardrobe from really old stuff (party still from teenage years lol). So rn it`s the struggle of what to buy and not wasting my moneyyyy😂 You always wish to be unique and searching can also be time-consuming to be real. Loved your thoughts on self confidence!💅
EXACTLY! "YEAH, like F*CK it! I'm 63...!" With age, can come a healthy disregard for what random people think. I think we attract what we give out - being kind, being our authentic selves helps us find out tribe. Thank you for posting.
i found that i was buying clothes i wanted to wear even tho i didnt have time or energy to wear them due to work so ive started to actually wear the clothes i have and seeing what i actually need
Thank you for inspiring me to be more like a plus size hottie like you! I’ve been recently dressing more like myself and comfy but cute is definitely the vibe. I felt called out when you mentioned 25 but I think it’s true!! I have been giving less of a fuck because whose opinion really matters besides my own?? ❤
Dressing for your body is like working with only one medium for art. Like yes I could only use acrylic paint on my canvas, but adding crochet, cutting it up and using pencils? Thats more fun for me personally.
your videos make me feel so comfortable and happy and confident. we are the same dress size and seeing how hard you slay really helps me recognize my dysphoria when i look at myself. thank you for sharing your mastery of kuntservice, you inspired me to stop sucking in my stomach in public
11:48. that reminds me of when I found my fiance, and my heavy best friend felt crushed and left in the dust, and subsequently lost a ton of weight. I had never seen her so thin before, and I was concerned, but I wasn't about to not get married because of my bff. She did gain the weight back in the next couple years. SHe hated me so much for getting a man. It was really hard on both of us. I lost my best friend. And when two decades later I got divorced, I too went through a mental health episode and lost a ton of weight, but I became borderline anorexic looking. I went down to a size 6 from a 14, and had no boobs left. People started to express concern that I should not loose any MORE weight. I had starvation effects on my body, rotting teeth, broken hair and nails. I made huge life changes at that point and was able to maintain the size 6 for several years and not lose any more weight. I'm now an 8/10.
Fat girl from Ft. Lauderdale- in the 90's! We had a store called 5-7-9 in the day, and if you didn't shop there, you were nothing. They only carried sizes 0-9. I wore a size 12. It was bad times. Can relate so hard!
im 16 and i have an ed. my whole life i thought i was fat, even when i wasnt, and then i went from 120 to 150 in one summer and i realized "oh.. this sucks. i was fine and now im not.." the styles i like to dress in are only worn by skinny girls because they show a lot of skin or depend on a skinny body.. its really hard for me to love myself and i compare myself to all the skinny girls at school. this video helped me love myself mentally but im still working on physically..
Ok sth that i might want to add regarding the term "flattering", because i do think it can have value beyond the boy type bs. To me, flattering doesnt mean an item that makes you look smaller, or that gives you an hourglass shape, or whatever is fashionable atm. To me, its about fit. And that can be useful. So when i think about whether an Item is flattering on me, i think more about these things: does it fit properly. And by that i mean: - do the shoulders fit? If theyre too narrow or broad, is that intentional or just a bad fit? - does the material bunch up in weird places? - is it restrictive in the wrong places? (That one happens to me a lot with blouses, since im on the... More endowed side) - do jeans/trousers cut in (hello lowrise jeans, may you rot in hell) - do jeans/trousers gape (again, f u, low rise jeans) - are the sleeves long/short enough? Plenty of tops are not for me because of sleeves that look on me like they shrank in the wash Basically, flattering to me is something that accomodates my body, not necessarily sth that gives it a specific shape
the part about over thrifting is so real i have some pieces i dont know where my head was at when i bought them 😐 and it was always at overpriced places like Cow
I'm on my own fashion journey, im (small) fat, tall, non-binary and autistic so im juggling finding clothes that fit, are sensory friendly, give me gender euphoria AND look cute. wew its a challenge. but just wanted to say thank you for this video, sometimes i get really stuck that i dont fit one aesthetic but thank you for your advice!!!!
@@lovejessicablair i understand 🥺☺️💜if u lived here where i live now..ppl will so much laugh on u bcs of your stile +u chubby 💋portugal by the way😠😡🤬😒💔
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Ok the part about performative journaling is so real. I think it's a product of social media where we feel like we don't have any privacy... even within our literal DIARY
The style journey is really a struggle 😭 but when you get there, it feels amazing
it really does! very freeing + comforting
Makes me so happy to see yall say there is an end in sight, most of the time I'm worried and frustrated that it's just consumerism being pushed into my head making me feel never enough unless I buy different things as my tastes change somewhat dramatically every year, but the more I'm mindful and work on it the less it happens so this gives me hope it's worth it
@@lovejessicablairyou’re very beautiful as a redhead ❤❤❤❤❤
I’ve had weight changes throughout my life, and grew up where I was the “thin one” in a family of plus sized women who had ZERO self confidence and hid in their clothes. They had all experienced So Much random abuse from strangers and relatives throughout their lives….
It was difficult for me to understand style and confidence, and has been a lifelong journey.
When I gained weight again post-menopause/Covid, I didn’t even realize that everything I thrifted for my new plus size was a “desperation purchase.” It was all baggy, bland, hide-me clothes! I was becoming invisible…
So I changed that.
In my mind, I’m honoring the women I loved by remembering to dress without fear, to express who I am regardless of weight (or age! I’m 55 now).
the last part you wrote about honoring the women you’ve loved by dressing without fear is really beautiful, and I also want to adopt that mindset/thought when dressing and just existing in the world. sending you so much love 💗💗
The realization that has helped me the most in starting to figure out my style is that I will often like a style on someone else but not on me. Like, I love the cute little pastel adorable outfits but I always feel off if i wear them myself. I kept buying things i thought were so cute on the hanger but when i put them on they really didn't feel like me. Sometimes you enjoy looking at something, as if it were art work, but that doesn't mean that it's your style. I've had the most success by thinking about what vibe, what emotion i want to give off and then dressing for that.
i completely agree with what you said about not dressing to be 'flattering', i don't care if the things i like aren't 'suited' to me, i dress in what makes me happy, not what you think looks good on me
also what you said about faking it til you make it, i still don't have the best self esteem but ever since i switched from self-deprecating jokes to self-aggrandizing ones. sure, you might be joking when you say how great you are at whatever, but it's better than berating yourself all the time
this is such a great mindset to have omg tyyy🤍
Also "flattering" means different Things for different people AND it Changes over time. I remember when lowrise Jeans were regarded as "flattering" and high rise Jeans as "making your Butt Look too big". Ankle Boots going from "unflattering" because the, allegedly Made your legs Look short to being unverisally cute. Eyebrows going from basically non existent to highly stylized Bars in your face.
These days i dress mostly in Vintage and Retro clothes (mostly 40-60s, those wideleg trousers are sooo comfy for an office Job) because I think it's flattering. But i know plenty of people wouldnt Like the Long skirts because theyre "oldfashioned". I dont Care. I Like skirts that enable me to sit crosslegged in the Grass 😂
I grew up in Miami and was bigger too! I remember wearing hoodies and jeans in the summer. Friends and family would ask me why I didn't wear summer clothes as if they didn't make horrible comments about fat people all the time.
I'm much more confident now and your content has helped me a ton!!! Keep slaying the style game babes
Totally relate to the negative weight loss and positive feedback. Recently lost a lot of weight due to severe illness and surgery, and all my family was saying I looked amazing, never looked better, I looked “so healthy” etc even tho they knew I lost weight because I was sick and I definitely was not healthy, and when I started to recover and could eat properly and gained some weight back all the compliments stopped. I’m glad I’m at a point where I feel good about myself regardless of what I get told about how I look, but if that had happened to me when I was a bit younger it would have crushed me
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! I’m glad that you’re at a good place in your life to deal with those comments + know better, though. sending you so much love 💗💞💕💗
@@lovejessicablair ❤️❤️❤️
Not a "fat" Girl but i experienced that stuff too a few years ago which was... Not fun.
I have Body Image issues and HATE the Feeling to Not be in Control, so when i suddenly lost weight due to Stress (Turns out that really messes with me) and i mentioned it to a friend because it was legitimately scaring me, i got: "oh but it really suits you"
My mum Made it worse by going how good i "now" looked. Which of course activated the tiny voice in my brain that told me that If i looked good "now" i must have looked Bad "before". Thanks brain.
That was a few years ago. Last year sth similar happened. Had a horrible time and Stress and probably mental health shenanigans and lost a noticeable amount of weight. I havent even bothered telling my Family about my Life because the Last Thing i need is more positive Feedback to Something that is the result of a pretty shitty time in my Life.
The same happened to my dad. I had never thought about it :/. Thank you for talking about your experience.
Also, it's so sad how different people treat you once you regain weight. It's crazy how much people associate thinness with being healthy.
The same thing happened to me! It's so hard when people say you look good and healthy but you're the most unhealthy you've ever been :(
making your own clothes/accessories, even "just" a scarf, belt or trapezoid skirt, is very exciting - as a fat person with a colorful, wacky style it is so affirming to make the clothes i want to see in the world! :D the fat sewing community is beautiful, vibrant and very supportive of newbies
omg this advice is so helpful! i appreciate your advice on overconsumption and over thrifting. overconsumption is so encouraged (both implicitly and explicitly), and I think a lot of fashion advice is just “buy more.” i really love your insight in fashion and i always love hearing what you have to say!
overconsumption is definitely encouraged (thanks capitalism) but it’s sooo important to be mindful of what you’re buying + how much! ((also thank you so much for ur kind words :”) ))
When you talked about your weight loss due to grief, I totally related. I lost 80lbs after my divorce because of anxiety (I thought if I ate I would die) so I was really emotionally messed up, but everyone around me praised me and told me I looked amazing. It was so psycho and totally effed me up. No one (literally no one - family, friends, etc) could see that this weight loss was nothing to praise because it was only due to mental illness. It also made me realize how everyone thought I looked like crap before my weight loss, and only now was I attractive because I was smaller. I had to drop several friends because I realized their ideas about me were toxic.
I'm man who had similar issues and yes I'm big. Finding your style is rough but when you get there, the feeling is amazing. My struggle was that I'm feminine when it comes to my fashion style. I like colors, different materials, outfits that aren't in the men section, nail polish, heels, feminine jeweley. Stuff that is not for men and society codes made it hard. Being fat didn't help either and fear of judgement was way overboard. Then one day I just grew up and quit caring. Today, I'm not as big as I use to be and that fear of being judged is long gone. I don't follow trends, I just put pieces together and rock it. Its my life and I'm living it.
As someone who didn't allow myself to wear what I wanted to until my 50's, I really appreciate this video. I always let my husbands and mother tell me how old-fashioned my clothes were-I dress very retro now-and then i decided screw that, this is what I like and really suits my body type and I it's my body so deal. Now I get so many compliments and expressions of "I wish I had your confidence!" I feel good in my clothes and I wish I had let myself do so before! And now my partner appreciates ME and whatever I like he likes. I've even had my kids' friends tell me I'm always "on fleek" or so cool! My kids have taken on my confidence as well,or maybe they taught me. Also, WEAR WHAT YOU WANT AT THE GYM!!! Don't let the gym bunnies or elders pass judgment on what allows you to workout in what is comfortable.
I needed to hear that I don't have to be limited by only wearing what's flattering!
I struggle bad with the whole "well it fits me, I should buy it" thought process as a fat and tall person because clothes so rarely fit me properly. I am 6 feet tall give or take and there is like a 1-2 size difference between my waist and hips depending on the size chart. Plus I am broke lol. one thing that does help me is when I do find those "kinda cute" pieces, I take a picture in the fitting room.
oh, I definitely feel that. as a fellow fat + tall person with proportions that aren’t catered to a lot in plus size clothing, I also struggled with buying things just because they fit me. sometimes it definitely is out of necessity (because we need clothes to exist in the world) and I’m definitely not trying to shame that. sometimes you just gotta do what u can!
@@lovejessicablair I don’t think I fully came to terms with it until like last year. I was feeling that “I have so many clothes but nothing to wear” hard. But my body also changed a lot in the past year or so and I grew out of majority of my clothes so that was another battle on top of this one. I have given soo many clothes to my smaller friends and it feels nice to give them a new home but whew the body grief is there too. I hope that I can really get to experience my style once I get a stable job and all that.
I empathize with you a lot Jess, i was the fat kid (and i’m still fat) but now i’m not afraid to show my body. One of the most bizarre things i realized now that i’m 24 is that when i was a kid/teen i was so surprised if anyone treated me decently even tho i was “fat”.
You’re my comfort UA-camr I get so excited when you make full length videos
aww you have no idea how much that means to me :”)
@@lovejessicablair AHH YOU RESPONDED I LOVE YOU
omggg the growing up in miami confidence leech is SO REAL i feel so seen. this video is so good
“miami confidence leech” is soooo real and I’m 100% using that term from now on lmao
I totally agree on the over-consumption of thrifting. I used to go at least once a week because it was my only hobby outside of my home and something do to when I just needed to get out of the house. I've scaled it back, not only in going but what I am buying. I went yesterday for something I actually needed (pocket dictionary) and grabbed a couple of clothing items, walked around with them and then realized, I don't actually want them. I have a skirt in the same color as the shorts I grabbed, also I don't really like shorts. I love the idea of those jean skirts that look like they were DIYed from pants, but I know that style of skirt, doesn't look good on me or make me feel good. So I put them back. This was wonderful. Thank you.
I really need to let you know - and please take this to heart❤- that the way you were inspired by those bloggers: you ARE inspiring young (and us ”grown ups”) plus-sizers today!
Thank you so much for that!
Everytime I watch your videos my self esteem and confidence grown a bit.
Days when I feel off - your videos are my medicine!
Once again: please take this your heart: thank you for everything you are and do as a fat-girl-inspiration/confidence-source 💁🏼♀️❤
Sending all my love from Sweden❤ 🇸🇪
I will be taking everything you said to heart 🥺 thank you my love, you have no idea how much that means to me :”) sending you sm love 💗💞💕💞💗
@@lovejessicablair to get a answer for you made my day and warmed my heart overhere in the Nordic Cold! 🥶 thank you for that!
You’re such an inspiration ❤️🙏🏻
What an amazing comment! I'm glad she saw this. Hello from sunny Kansas USA!
@@courtneygrier2015 Im so happy she did too🥹🥹🥹 it’s the first time some of my influencers have interacted with me and that it were for just this one - that came directly from my heart - is so amazing ❤️❤️
Hello from cold Sweden to you, sunny Kansas ❤️🌍
@@courtneygrier2015 im so glad too!
hello sunny Kansas! Would love to be overthere with ya 🥶🥶😍
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in March 2023. And because of the pills, I've gained 30 kilos. You helped me love my body more. Right now, I don't have many things in my wardrobe that fit me. I will use these tips. Love your looks and long talk videos!!! Thank you ❤
i’m 24 and still stuck in my childhood mindset of hiding and being ashamed of my body and “tricking” people into seeing my body differently so i love this video so much and thank you. i want so much to be able to wear the clothes i actually like and i’ll get there eventually
not only are u an absolute icon in every other way, following u on twitter and seeing ur pro palestine and covid cautious just made me adore u even more. u are wonderful and i’m so happy i found ur content
aww I’m sending u so so much love 🥺💞💕💞💗 it’s hard getting to the mindset of body neutrality but I believe in u!!
I couldn't agree with your points more! I have caught myself on over thrifting the tops and shirts and anything for my torso cause I am smaller there and it's easier to finding sth that either fits or cute and beatiful looking on the top of me VS how AF hard it is to find a pair of jeans that is at least Ok for me.
so thanks for your video. Hope you have a great 2024!
I could listen to you talk forever, I just love hearing your thoughts and point of view it's always so insightful and good
I've had the same two NYE outfits and I just rotate them and accessorize them differently. Same for other rare special events(weddings etc).
love that a lot!! reusing ur clothes + changing the accessories is what ur wardrobe is for
Not me thinking about the zoro earrings from one piece i purchased while you're talking about taking inspiration from the media you consume 😂😭 it does make me feel something and even though it's kinda goofy with these earrings you're making such an important point. Thank you for this wonderful video!
I started experimenting with my style for the first time in quarantine. It was exciting at first, but gradually became more frustrating as i struggled to match the aspirational imagery I found online. Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s encouraging to see that your style is something that you found over time. Just because I haven’t found my style yet doesn’t mean that doesn’t exist :)
i struggle with body dysmorphia and just lack of confidence in my chubby body, especially because i am trying to find my style. this video helped me a lot, and i love your content and really appreciate the type of vibes you put out into the world! (:
To my fellow fat people, ask yourself, do you hate yourself for being fat? Or, do you hate the way people treat you because you’re fat?
That’s how i got my confidence. Also knowing that literally you’re gonna be ugly to someone because beauty is subjective and it depends on the person you ask. LOVE YOURSELF! LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE!!!
I hated being fat and how it made me feel. I don't even mean I felt bad about myself for being fat or anything. I mean I was always hot. I was always uncomfortable. I couldn't do basic things like tie my shoes without holding my breath. My legs and back and feet hurt. I felt heavy and lethargic. I hated myself for being fat because it affected my quality of life
@@mysharona6754 I get that! Being fat is definitely on a spectrum when it comes to health. All that matters is you feeling good about yourself, so hopefully you’re able to work towards or are at a stage of happiness with yourself 🥰
Hat myself for being fat lmao 😂
It’s funny bc fatties usually say society treats them bad bc guys who are 10s won’t date them, but then those same fat girls won’t date fat guys who are in their league either lol
Hate myself for being fat 😢
I'm starting to think that confidence is a habit more than a trait someone has. Its my favorite way of explaining why fake it till you make it works, at least.
The "fuck it I'm 25" does indeed happen more and more as you age--I'm almost 36 and have gotten moreso like that as the years have gone by 😊 loved this video, thank you for being so genuine!!
This might be my favourite video you’ve ever made! Your content brings me so much joy and confidence, and these tips are super helpful. I’m 27 and the personal style quest feels never ending ❤
i am in love with all of your insights, advice, and just you being you!!
i do not see enough influencers actually talk about these things because.. it's usually them (atleast the majority that i see on my feed) promoting the fact to buy like every single new item that's cute and trendy especially from fast fashion brands (that are unethical btw..) when they have like a bajillion clothes already 😭😭
i so so agree with you when you said that repeating outfits or clothes in general is normal!! i do not know who INJECTED the notion to society that clothes we've seen before equals to like being not trendy or dare i say it, "poverished" !! LIKE laundry and washing machine exist for a reason 😭😭 we should fr normalize outfit repeating and clothes repeating more it's the bare minimum
aww I’m speechless!! thank you so much angel 🥺💕💞💗💞💗 you’re soooo sweet and I sooo appreciate everything you said
@@lovejessicablair I LOVE U !! your reply just made my day- no- my entire week 🥹🫶
your video popped up in my feed and i have a similar experience as you, got more comfortable with my chub and dont take the criticism of my body to heart no more helps, fake it til you make it helps, letting go of people that are not in my best interest helps, and living out my teen dreams of being a cute fashion girl with fun makeup with my big girl money has been really nice 💖💕 you're making me more motivated to post more to share that joy of dressing up with everyone, i wish everyone that stubbled into this video to take this as an opportunity to really Do What You Want (so long u aint hurting anyone nor urself) 💖
I PLATONICALLY LOVE YOU!!!!! I love your shorts but I really appreciate your long ones. Thank you for being a voice for us fatties because we are baddies 😎
I get so excited when you upload!! ♥️ please keep them cominggg!! 💕💕
the encouragement is very much appreciated!! I’ll definitely be posting on youtube way more this year 🫡
The myth that “flattering” is objectively best - agree!!! Talking about what’s flattering is just a less overt way of talking about what’s sexually attractive (on a very one dimensional level that doesn’t even begin to really measure the complexity of sexiness), and that’s such an outdated standard to be boxed in by! No shade if you want to dress for sexual attraction but it’s only one of many many different values that might make an outfit worth wearing. And dressing to accentuate a conformist body shape has little to do with expressing personal sexuality or sensuality either.
I love the part of giving a f*** about flattering. That is something I struggle with. I used to be very skinny and now that I've become a mom my body changed a lot and I don't feel confident anymore to wear that crop tops I used to. And I'm somewhere in between "crop tops are just for the male gaze and they shouldn't be worn at all" and "I need to wear them anyways to normalize bodytipes that aren't the beauty standard" but I'm not confident enough to expose myself like that. Thought I admire women who wear crop tops even though they aren't in the beauty standard range! Go for it big ladies! ❤❤❤
Grew up as "the thin one" in the family to getting the "family curse" and all my confidence depleted and never really came back. Now im finally working on loving myself and my body the way it is. ❤
man talking about your lowest point getting the most outward praise. As a trans man I definitely got this. I was hit on, received the most success in my career, and other ventures of my life and in my family when I felt the most dysphoric exploring my more femme side while I was still in the closet as a trans man essentially trying to bury my identity. It was painful and then to basically be cast away and have all my fears realized when I did come out and began to transition. I'm sorry because even as a midsized queer person they carry clothing in my size at every thrift store and major mall outlet in the current fashion trend. I cant imagine trying to cope and basically living with that new body (and potentially the bad physical feelings that may occur with the mental health issues) while having that external social pressure. For me at least it was the body I already knew, I had just dressed it differently. When mine changed it became better.
I am glad you found yourself and I hope others do too :) I actually sought this to help a friend who asked for my fashion advice.
this was so unbelievably helpful :') watching this while getting ready for the night made me feel so amazing. u need a podcast girlie!!!!
I grew up in the midwest, and though we were in a city, I still viscerally feel you on the collective pressure to wear clothing that’s as bland and as possible 😂
I love how this video has me reminiscing on my own style history. Growing up poor, we’d thrift just in order to be clothed. My mom bought me ugly coats several sizes too large so they’d last a few years. In the recent few years, I’ve really struggled with climate-anxiety, and obsessing over my choices before purchasing. You gave me some perspective with your thoughts on balancing consumption with expression. I’ve made a couple dud purchases recently, but I don’t need to feel guilty, because ultimately I’m purchasing vastly less than the average person in the US.
Thank you very much for this video! Your insight into personal style and how it doesn't have to be a specific aesthetic was so helpful to me 🥹
Ugh thak you for talking about over-thrifting. My style advice/moto forever has been if you have somthing in your closet that you think is ugly literally find a different way to wear it. SHOP IN YOUR CLOSET. Like i belive that like 90ish% of clothing in thrifts end up in landfills anyway!!!!! I'm definitely not saying don't donate to thrifts but think about your clothing crittically. If your cleaning out your closet TRY ON EVERY PIECE and whenever i go through my closet i like to keep it one for at least 10 minutes AND try it with other combinationd and acssessorys. Ugh thank you for bringing up acssessorys they can make or break an outfit. Also thank you for touching on trends its ok to like somthing thats trendy, if you want a stanly because you think they're cute and you genuinely like them than go get one but if you let whats trendy dictate what you like i'm sorry but your doing it wrong. (And I'm a strong believer that there is no wrong way to do fashion)I cant even begin to talk about how bad the trend cycle is for the environment in a youtube comment. Anyway no matter who you are or what you look like if you try your hardest to love yourself then things will get better. Also also also thank you for talking about journaling. I have been jouraling for almost 4 years and as a teen whos uber conservative parents dont belive in therapy journaling is straight up the reason im still in this plane of existence. Anyway i didnt even get to all the thoughts that were circulating in my mind during this video but this rant has gone on far to long. Honestly just love yourself and if you dont then i will. 🐛😘
Edit: I just read this and realized that nothing I said made any sense or flowed in a normal way🤠.
Edit again (ugh i know shes back): today i went thrifting and bought 6 peices and i was feeling really guilty and really hypocritical. But then i watched this video and i turned my phone off and i was like come on babe you havent gone shopping in 7 months its ok you havent bought anything firsthand in almost a year and a half. Like your doing great babe every little bit counts right.
OMG!!!! I asked you if you could do a video about this topic but I never thought you would ACTUALLY do it, ly♡♡♡♡
I also experienced my first years of life in my childhood because I was a child
This is possibly my favorite video I have ever watched. I can relate to so much of this it’s crazy.
honestly my top tip is finding influencers and celebrities with your body type and watch how confident they are and try and understand that its okay to like urself :)
I totally understand the flattering part! I personally don’t have that opinion but I always take a step back at ‘how to dress for your body type’ videos and realize this is a 100 pound 5’ 2 white lady body shaming people (most of the time) I prefer to dress for my body type because it happens to be that I don’t dress for my body type to hide my body, just show off my favorite features, jasmine ke has a great video on dressing for your body type but it feels a little more relaxed and on howto show off what you want. Tgat being said, you are one of my favorite content creators, I totally feel the ‘bring the large st in the group’ i have friends like 50 pounds lighter and super skinny talking about how fat they feel, which is valid, but i feel like thats middle class people talking about how their parents couldnt afford an Xbox AND iPhone when you got cheap gifts (or even none depending) anyways so much yapping later: i love your videos, and you outfits are genuinely so slay, and you do frigging pretty imma cry
I feel the basics struggle, I dress goth/alternative and very much found it was very easy to get a hold of 'fun' alternative clothes I might not be able to style easily but then finding the more simple pieces was a struggle but now I think I have a decent balance now.
i've also noticed it's not just an alternative fashion problem it seems to be a plus sized clothing problem in general, plenty of the time I see plenty of 'statement' options for plus sizes and yet trying to find say a basic t-shirt or something is near impossible.
Also the not really developing a personal style until you're a bit 'older' as due to the clothes you actually wanted just didn't exist in your size.
Also to this day I've found in terms of plus sized clothing, belts. Belts are so hard to find in larger sizes I guess they assume 'fat' people don't need belts but no sometimes we need belts.
Such a confidence builder! None of us are perfect. You are showing us how to enjoy our selves with our fashion
Girl- THANK YOU ❤ this is just the video I needed to see. Thank you for the real talk and gave me a lot of constructive food for thought.
As a 23yo with a full time job in education/therapy, it is sooo hard to implement any sort of style in my outfits for work bc i want to be comfy and mobile but also look cute and serve looks so its been hard bc for a while all i had were crop tops! hopefully i can find my style and implement it in work fits too
the perfect video to chill to on a rainy afternoon 🩵
You are helping me so much with my self love journey. Everytime I feel insecure about wearing an outfit that I like, I just think of you (like i genuinely think "what would jessica say to me?"😭) and I tell myself to wear it, bc my opinion is literally the only one that matters.
And btw I love your outfits and especially how creative you are with accessorizing, I take a lot of inspiration from that because we actually share very similar styles.
So thank you so much for all of your content and thank you so much for literally just existing you're amazing ilysm😭💘💗
stop you are such a sweetie pie 😭 you’re gonna make my cancer ass cry
Your video has amazing energy, thank you for sharing.
You are so beautiful. I’m glad I ran into your UA-cam channel. Your videos make me happy and help because of the size I am. This video helped me so much.
Even though I’m in the extremely early stages of accepting myself and finding a style I like, accepting that As Long As I’m Fat, I’m Gonna Look Fat has been insanely valuable in just getting me out of the house without wasting an hour cycling through outfits in search of something that makes me look smaller
People really underestimate how difficult it is to be confident and fat. And they really dont get just how vital representation really is. Im 32, wore jeans and sweats for 15 years straight even through BONAROO MUSIC FEST IN TENESSEE I WAS SO MISERABLE FOR SO LONG. and there was NO WHERE to shop but catos or fashion bug ...
And youre right. When you realize the baggy clothes are not hiding the fact that youre fat the whole concept falls apart. Your body is your body no matter what you wear.
Also becoming chronically ill at 21 helped. I long for the days when my biggest concerns about my body were external body image issues. I wasted so much fuckin time letting myself be dehumanized and de femenized. Fat girls were not allowed to be femme or fashionable, you drew attention to yourself and put a target on your back.
Keep doing what youre doing. It's important. And every hate comment you get is proof that what youre doing genuinely matters.
This is so relatable ❤❤love your content queen!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
This video helped me so much!
Feel like I`m just in the middle of finding my style with 26. Quite recently, I made an effort to declutter my wardrobe from really old stuff (party still from teenage years lol). So rn it`s the struggle of what to buy and not wasting my moneyyyy😂 You always wish to be unique and searching can also be time-consuming to be real. Loved your thoughts on self confidence!💅
Yes I love love love your videos and style! So excited to see another upload from you. ❤❤❤❤
My favorite fashion girly at it again 💕 love you jess
Love your philosophy for haters!!! Great mindset 👏 ❤love you
A bunch of great advice in this video! Also Loaf is one of the best pet names I've ever heard. 😄
OMG YES BOTH NANA AND HACHI ARE MY FAVE STYLE ICONS TOO!!
EXACTLY! "YEAH, like F*CK it! I'm 63...!" With age, can come a healthy disregard for what random people think. I think we attract what we give out - being kind, being our authentic selves helps us find out tribe. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much ❤ I've always been plus sized and my journey really parallels yours. You are beautiful and so is your style and its very inspiring.
i found that i was buying clothes i wanted to wear even tho i didnt have time or energy to wear them due to work so ive started to actually wear the clothes i have and seeing what i actually need
i feel like youtube is a lowkey for of therapy and im not mad aabout it.
Thank you for inspiring me to be more like a plus size hottie like you! I’ve been recently dressing more like myself and comfy but cute is definitely the vibe. I felt called out when you mentioned 25 but I think it’s true!! I have been giving less of a fuck because whose opinion really matters besides my own?? ❤
lmao I’m 25 too so don’t feel *too* called out 😭
Dressing for your body is like working with only one medium for art. Like yes I could only use acrylic paint on my canvas, but adding crochet, cutting it up and using pencils? Thats more fun for me personally.
I love your hair and your coat! 😊 very cute !
Thank you for sharing your journey
I love your life. I’m so glad I follow and watched this
Also Nana is Fr my fashion inspo
your videos make me feel so comfortable and happy and confident. we are the same dress size and seeing how hard you slay really helps me recognize my dysphoria when i look at myself. thank you for sharing your mastery of kuntservice, you inspired me to stop sucking in my stomach in public
Hit the like button just so Jessica and loaf can wreak havoc. . . cause I'm here for it.
11:48. that reminds me of when I found my fiance, and my heavy best friend felt crushed and left in the dust, and subsequently lost a ton of weight. I had never seen her so thin before, and I was concerned, but I wasn't about to not get married because of my bff. She did gain the weight back in the next couple years. SHe hated me so much for getting a man. It was really hard on both of us. I lost my best friend.
And when two decades later I got divorced, I too went through a mental health episode and lost a ton of weight, but I became borderline anorexic looking. I went down to a size 6 from a 14, and had no boobs left. People started to express concern that I should not loose any MORE weight. I had starvation effects on my body, rotting teeth, broken hair and nails. I made huge life changes at that point and was able to maintain the size 6 for several years and not lose any more weight. I'm now an 8/10.
Fat girl from Ft. Lauderdale- in the 90's! We had a store called 5-7-9 in the day, and if you didn't shop there, you were nothing. They only carried sizes 0-9. I wore a size 12. It was bad times. Can relate so hard!
im 16 and i have an ed. my whole life i thought i was fat, even when i wasnt, and then i went from 120 to 150 in one summer and i realized "oh.. this sucks. i was fine and now im not.." the styles i like to dress in are only worn by skinny girls because they show a lot of skin or depend on a skinny body.. its really hard for me to love myself and i compare myself to all the skinny girls at school. this video helped me love myself mentally but im still working on physically..
I love that you say we are allowed to be eclectic because I feel like I have a different aesthetic every day 😂. You are wonderful. ❤
Love you ❤
💗💗💗💗💗
Ok sth that i might want to add regarding the term "flattering", because i do think it can have value beyond the boy type bs.
To me, flattering doesnt mean an item that makes you look smaller, or that gives you an hourglass shape, or whatever is fashionable atm. To me, its about fit. And that can be useful.
So when i think about whether an Item is flattering on me, i think more about these things: does it fit properly. And by that i mean:
- do the shoulders fit? If theyre too narrow or broad, is that intentional or just a bad fit?
- does the material bunch up in weird places?
- is it restrictive in the wrong places? (That one happens to me a lot with blouses, since im on the... More endowed side)
- do jeans/trousers cut in (hello lowrise jeans, may you rot in hell)
- do jeans/trousers gape (again, f u, low rise jeans)
- are the sleeves long/short enough? Plenty of tops are not for me because of sleeves that look on me like they shrank in the wash
Basically, flattering to me is something that accomodates my body, not necessarily sth that gives it a specific shape
oh my god... i need to rewatch nana lol
just recently watched the live action movies and they were pretty good!!
the part about over thrifting is so real i have some pieces i dont know where my head was at when i bought them 😐 and it was always at overpriced places like Cow
Sabrina Spellman is legit my style muse 👸🏻
You are so freaking beautiful 😍
You are gorgeous!
One of the hardest things is to not know enough plus size fashion youtubers to have a role model similar to my proportions and taste
I get that a lot and it’s something I’ve struggled with too my whole life. sometimes, unfortunately, you have to be your own role model!
you said miami and I’m like I grew up there immediately understand
6:44 Omg! i follow you on tiktok and this whole timeI thought you were 17 or 18😂😭 (ps. ur my personal style inspo
I'm on my own fashion journey, im (small) fat, tall, non-binary and autistic so im juggling finding clothes that fit, are sensory friendly, give me gender euphoria AND look cute. wew its a challenge. but just wanted to say thank you for this video, sometimes i get really stuck that i dont fit one aesthetic but thank you for your advice!!!!
I have this hankering for a pioneer girl dress from the 1870's... and to wear it every day as I go about my homesteading duties...
Omggggggggg nana I love you
i have a lighter flowy style and a distressed and dark style ✨✨i just cant decide and i wont✨✨
U are very pretty☺️ what would really be good is like ppl like our chubby bodyes and aplause to us too. I mean good ppl!...🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️💜💓💋
aw thank u so much :”)
@@lovejessicablair i understand 🥺☺️💜if u lived here where i live now..ppl will so much laugh on u bcs of your stile +u chubby 💋portugal by the way😠😡🤬😒💔
I love your style, girl. Kisses from brazil 💛
omg I grew up in south florida and I also had no confidence!!! lol!!!
I need to know very badly where you found the fur jacket :(