AUTISM MY DIAGNOSIS |Purple Ella
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2016
- Autism my diagnosis. How I realised I was autistic and subsequently got a diagnosis. More below.
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
I was diagnosed mid forties. I was saddened when I realised that I'd been bullied and misjudged my whole life because of it. I limit contact with people or I run into difficulties and my health suffers.
The same here
Your car park meltdown resonates SO strongly with me. I remember how uptight I was about parenting in the first ten years, with all this internal pressure on myself that I was supposed to always set a good example for my son, that as a mother now I needed to get myself in order and stay that way, that it was time for me to figure out my life and not be a confused and lost mess, lol. It wasn't until recently that I realized I am SO VERY autistic according to female criteria, I always have been, my sons and probably my husband are too according to male criteria, and...it's okay! I'm not a mess. I can be searching forever but not lost or a mess because of it. Life is one continuous exploration and experiment. We never get it all figured out. I don't have to have all the answers for my sons just because I'm a mom. And I'm not weird or broken, I'm autistic and that is okay. SUCH a relief to come to this understanding, and the loads of pressure have since fallen off my shoulders in every category of my life because of it.
It must have been so hard looking back on your childhood and wondering how that could have been different. I am so glad that you have found the diagnosis to be a positive thing, even in the early days.
Thanks, and thanks for commenting.
You're right though. I was diagnosed last year at 25, and really wish I could have known as a child... oh well.
My 3yr old was diagnosed last year & i swear the more research i do the more i recognize & uncovered a lot about myself.
Same thing with me, I was researching for my daughter, I wanted to help her, and I been doing this 7 years on and off. And one day I realized and had to convince my self, which always passed everything off as .. there is nothing wrong with me. EGO. Finally I came to realize over the years of caring for children I was so wrapped up in caring for them and a lot of other people, that I lost sight if self. I was unconscious for 20 years
Thank you for this helpful story.
I felt ambivalent when I was diagnosed in my mid-forties. Had I known earlier in life, I could have done things differently. Also, there had been many situations where I thought I was in the right and others were in the wrong, but given that I had been missing out on subtleties in communication (e.g. body language) and that [other] people take feelings into consideration when making decisions, I realised that perhaps it was not as cut-and-dried as I had thought ... interesting video, thanks for sharing :)
I am late diagnosed too- I am 27 and was only diagnosed last November I think it was. I am so glad you did this video. I will watch it in bits though as my attention levels at the moment are atrocious. So glad to find more people like me. If that makes sense?
I cannot count how many times I've had a meltdown in the car. Liking shaking and angry, sobbing. I didn't get my drivers licence until I was 28 and only got it because I met someone who lives in the country. Driving is sooo overwhelming for me!! Parking is stressful for me as well as driving through adverse conditions. Never been diagnosed but the fact that my siblings don't stress about driving the way I do must mean something.
I couldn't even get as far as that bcoz I couldn't cope with everything to do while you drive, concentrate ect ect I was all over the place I had to give up.
@@givmarcham7915 I wish I could say it got easier for me. I live somewhere without public transportation so I'm basically a shut in. I think if I forced myself to drive everyday it would maybe get easier but the longer I go without driving the scarier it becomes.
I understand that totally... I'm actually in tears it's the first time someone has replied to me I feel very overwhelmed 😸 lol I'm crying how much I just would like to have friends who are alike me, I don't have any friends left I do t think now bcoz everyone just leaves bcoz they don't understand why I'm different
@@givmarcham7915 just so you know, sometimes UA-cam fails to send notifications so people could be replying but you're unaware :) also I look normal so people approach me expecting me to not be shy or social awkward. It really sucks, I totally get it.
@@rubylace9963 yes it's very hard when sociaty has anyway got these ideas of how we all should and shouldn't be and I think in such a material world, people learn that being different is wrong and shamed, that even in non autistic people we have to be a way to fit in and it's just harder for us as the world I used to not be afraid of others it's only when I started getting bullied for being different that it made it harder for me more even less wanti g to engage with others bcoz I'm not like them and they are obviously not my friend of they are nasty to me bcoz I do thing different or I like to flap my hands and twitch ext ect, I leaned to mask instead I just makes you unhappy bcoz you cant be yourself
I got diagnosed 2 years ago & it’s the best thing I did but I had anger & sadness after as people should of picked up on it (school or doctors) 😀👍
One major thing and it destroys our lives
I am really enjoying your videos, Ella. My wife was recently diagnosed and I think it means a lot to her to hear from another wife and mom of three with similar experiences.
This is such an interesting and informative video Ella, thank you for sharing! xxx
Thanks for watching :-)
Oh yeah and 13 or so years ago , before the bipolar diagnoses they said i had borderline personality. I am NOT borderline. I have social anxiety and I am not manipulative or abusive or self harming as borderlines usually are.
Don't perpetuate a negative stigma please
Thank you for telling how you came to your diagnosis.That ADOS picture book was difficult for me. I watched all the Details and described them.The things I had to take I told about one day in a holiday.
However, the psychiatrist couldn’t say for sure if I’m autistic, because he read what what pszchosomatic hospitals wrote. I really suffer from PTSD, but depression is a thing that occurs sometimes. Because he was puzzled, he wrote that there are many symptoms that could be from autism, but for his “safety” he wrote that it’s more possible, that everything comes from the PTSD. So I just have to hear to my inner voice. Meds will find the truth, when I cope with my PTSD, and then I’ll try it again, because my “inner core voice” says “you’re also autistic.
My resume is that PTSD and Autisn have very much in common.
One question; did the doc specify the form of autism, you have? In EU it’s still use to say Kanner Autism, Asperger, high functioning, low functioning, atypical.
Bye
I just did a 4 hour intake and my ADOS is this coming Thursday. I know that I am autistic. I'm afraid that they will not see it. Thank You for your videos
Your experience of grief post diagnosis is exactly like mine. I also thought I would have more relief with knowing and was really surprised by how challenging it was. Thanks for sharing.
I just want to say thank you for your videos. I came across them a couple of days ago. It has been a real help to me. Thank you.
I'm currently awaiting an assessment and this is the best video I've found to tell me what to expect in the assessment that I've been able to find on here so far.
I was diagnosed in my early 40s. Mine is low level so it flew under the radar.
Post-diagnoses, A LOT made sense. Now, I know what I have and how to start moving forward (better).
thank you, Purp!
This is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ve been thinking maybe I have autism and am considering to get a diagnosis. In the past month, I’ve been learning a lot about autistic traits and I had lots of moments saying to myself “this makes so much sense why I felt I’m odd or why people were upset about me.”
Thank you for this video. I am going for a second autism assessment soon. The first one was flawed. I am pretty certain that I am autistic, and so are my parents. I was worried that my good imagination would stop me from getting a diagnosis, but now I feel better about it. Thank you.
I'm a late diagnosis at 33 even though I went to a specialised school for the impaired, and my statement in the said I have non specific learning difficulties. Then I saw educational psychologist one a year for 5 years after going to the west of England school. They said I it was their feeling I had dyspraxia and potentially adhd or aspergers. They school though otherwise a didn't get me tested even though I was struggling with interacting with people creative play and I couldn't learn the traditionally but am Clever. I was always 6 months behind my peers. I got married and feel pregnant with my first child lily mae was stillborn in jwn 2014. I called regulate my emotion with the grief and struggled with day life. I self referal via my doctor then waited months for a response by which time I'd had my second child had been born and 7 months. They said I'd have to wait a other 12 months. My midwife wrote letter to them saying it wasn't good enough as I was venerable a mum and child. Her pediatric GPwrote as well. Then two weeks after that I was offer led an appointment a month later and one more after that. I had grief period as I was going through loss of my marriage due to abuse and processing condition I have with the autism and dyspraxia
wonderful Video! I about a year out as well, 42 from diagnosis, and feel much the same. Thanks for the video.
The sunset one is a silly question. Lots of autistic people can appreciate a sunset. Not sure why that was a question
Also some autistic people can be very fidgety, I know I couldn’t JUST sit and watch a sunset for hours.. But if I was allowed to dance around the garden and lie down and stand up and talk and all that, well of course I would enjoy the sunset
Why? The simplicity of the sunset, so much beauty in it ❤️
Hi Ella,I am currently waiting to go for my assessment (March)I am all over the place,my mum has a questionnaire to fill in re my childhood,am convinced she chooses not to see anything "different"about me and won't give an accurate picture,I am 45,so it's a long time ago,but I have struggled all my life,and like you have researched and researched and so many things now make sense. My oldest daughter is on the spectrum,and I suspect my youngest might be too.
Also is there anyway I can research the lady who will be assessing me,her name is Mary Fearon,a clinical psychologist, I want to know if she specialises in women's asd diagnosis.
Can I just say that your videos are so honest and you do them so well,thankyou for making my journey that little bit easier.🤔
I'm going through this now. I saw on UA-cam that someone had to wait 4 years for an appointment so today I had to ring up (I hate phohes!) And they've told me 6 months which is better than 4 years but it's still so long to wait and I'm going through so much right now with my health coz I have bad anxiety and fibromyalgia too 😭 I've thought for years that i have autism but have never been brave enough to tell anyone or even my doctor ☹
I don't know too much about autism so I apologize if I say something that is incorrect. Just want to say THANK YOU for this video. I just discovered you on UA-cam and my partner may indeed be a bit autistic. There have been signs, particularly with social aspects in day to day life and in communication. I'm hoping that I can learn more about autism, and to better understand techniques that I can implement in my relationship for us both to feel as though we are on the same page. Thank you for speaking about it, and for shedding some light on this topic.
so glad I found this video. i have two boys on the spectrum. and looking at them I see why I struggled so much as a child. I can completely relate to your Parking Anxiety issues and your Meltdown. I just sought out a referral to our adult Autism Clinic and hope to get some answers too. videos like your help to solidify my current concerns. thanks so much again for this video and bring brave enough to share your journey.
I really relate to the parking story too.
I specifically remember one particular trip to the grocery store. I needed to pick up some medication that I needed that night. It just so happened that it was right before the start of the semester and everyone was converging on the grocery store, having just arrived back in town. The parking lot was full. People were parked outside of parking spots all over the place. I drove around for a minute and then decided to just come back. When I came back, the parking lot was just as full. I knew I needed to just watch and wait for someone to leave their parking spot, but I just couldn't do it, especially with all these other cars competing for spots. I was sobbing, just so upset that I couldn't do this little thing and knowing I really needed my medication that night. I sobbed all the way home and eventually my husband went back and got my medication for me.
I felt so ashamed that I couldn't handle a little parking trouble.
Hi Ella, I'm so glad that I found your channel! I am about to have my screening appointment at Bristol Adult Autism Service and i'm so scared about it and that my masking wont be noticed, this video helps calm my anxieties a little bit though.
My diagnosis was different as I went through the mental health route. I had questions that you find in an I.Q. test. I was not asked what are my special interests and what were my special interests as a child. I tried to tell them but found it very difficult as my interests are according to experts females are supposed to have. I was not given the making up a story with random objects test as I know I would have struggled with the task. I also stutter/talk very quietly when I get very nervous and would be unable to make a story up. My special interests as a child was anything to do with space, (astronomy, space travel, sci-fi, Star Trek and Doctor Who). I know have expanded to comic books/graphic novels, Marvel/DC T.V. series/films, steam trains and sailing boats.
This was a great explanation before my diagnosis. Mine took hours and multiple sessions. They ended up having to conduct the children’s ADOS on me rather than adult. I don’t know why. In Canada things are not nearly as well integrated and smooth as it seems they are in the UK. Hope we get there.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR AMAZING STORY!
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you, this is really helpful! Currently awaiting my assessment appointment…. 😁
Thank you for this video
Same exact story for me accept my daugter is 6. I had been diagnosed with bipolar in the past which i believe is a misdiagnoses.
Thank you for sharing. I was DX at 29.
You got very lucky to have an appointment so fast, in my country it's a 5 year-long waiting list. I called to ask to get a date even far away and they say it was impossible because they didn't create the agenda for later than 2020 and that I was probably going to get an appointment for 2023...so... There are 4 centers that specialises in autism in my country and only one still diagnose the adults. And they don't even have the "new tools" meaning that they are actually going to diagnose my past self, they will ask me and a member of my family to recall how I was as a kid and proceed to diagnose my kid self... which is absolutely ridiculous considering I will be around 30 years-old at that time and that my parent didn't spot anything wrong at the time and at 67 y/o I don't think they will be able to change how they view me as a kid and the altered (with time) memories they have... I'm looking to see if a foreigner can get diagnosed in other countries cause that seems faster and more appropriate..Maybe I'm not autistic, but I really need to have an answer for some reasons
So sorry, that must be really tough. I would imagine it's possible to get private assessment in other countries. Here is the UK you could visit the Lorna Wing centre.
I very much empathize with the part at the end where you are like "So that's my diagnosis." *rolls eyes at self* "that's my diagnosis story." Like 'silly self, that's not the right words!' I have struggled to be articulate on demand forever, which is apparently an aspie thing!
Great video thank you. I am 63 and have been on the diagnosis waiting list for a year now. Last time I rang in I was told it could be next year now. Like you this is driving me crazy. I pointed out to them that my anxiety is through the roof about waiting to no avail. It would be great to have a diagnosis for me to understand some of my life. ....
Hi.......I was diagnosed last year at age 67.......I was sure I was autistic but when I was told I was, I felt a mix of emotions.....and I cried.....with relief mostly. It's helped me to understand myself better but like Ella said.....there's a feeling of grief about your life. I hope you've had your assessment by now but this pandemic has put everything on hold hasn't it? Good luck!
Neenaw Leach thank you for your comments. sadly no diagnosis as yet and no doubt it will be a long wait still but I am resigned to that. No longer do I wait for the postman or jump when my phone rings. Will update eventually 😊
Thank you for your video. I am currently dealing with a late diagnosis myself so hearing your experience is really helpful. I hope things are going well for you and your family.
Katie M hi, thank you for commenting, if you have any questions as you go through the diagnosis process feel free to ask 😊
Purple Ella Thanks for your reply and your kind offer. I have a million questions; I was diagnosed in Oct 2016 aged 32 and have basically had no support since (not through lack of trying however mainly due to moving house). I also had a weird story book and object make believe story in my assessment, also a puzzle which was stupid. It's hard to adjust in the months after as you say and I'm sure I'm boring my poor husband to death with it all!
Very helpful.
I was diagnosed by autism Aspergers mild when I had a certain reaction to some kind of penicillin e antibiotics and taken the MMR when I was very ill at the time. When my family found out about this I felt like shocked as had trouble reading signs, mild social issues, looking at things which were black and white and the coping of knowing how to work on my own with certain tasks as reactions were quite slow. Throughout the years having gone to speech and language group in school, suffering from insults or jokes, using gestures finding it hard to make friends at first and be able to adapt to understand situations and changes I managed to achieve many things. I went from special school, to high, school, further education, different colleges, traveled over the word and country, got 2 early apprenticeships, got two jobs and very active runner that can run long distance and in past run London and Brighton under 3 hours. I like your theory story it must had been hard for you as well way to go.
I have never had a meltdown.
thank you
This sounds so familiar to my own story! Except I was several decades older. Subscribed
Thank you :-)
I'm 27 and being assessed soon .. got a diagnosis of eupd last year.... and it was therapy for that that they thought there is something more after seeing how I am, how I couldn't cope with therapy, I'm surprised u was referred just because u was stressed out from a parking space.
Similar situation, not diagnosed officially. Have a little son on the spectrum who was diagnosed about a year and a half ago. I am interested I knowing what books and resources you read that helped you change yourself on the inside? I think that would be helpful to me also. Thank you so much for your videos!
I don't know how I got to your video but glad I did I really enjoyed your story thankyou for sharing!.
Sarah thanks, glad you got here too and that it was a helpful watch.
I'm 31 and have recently been referred for a diagnosis after my psychotherapist (i was referred to her after what I now think to be a big meltdown at work) pointed out that I have a lot of the traits.
What a great video Ella. It was really helpful but in a way I wish I hadn't watched it because now if I finally go for a diagnosis and they ask me about the 3 things story thingy I will know what they are looking out for lol. Mind I tend to research everything to death. I was feeling really frightened (not the right word but all I can think of right now) about some of my behaviours and it is why I have revisited thinking about getting a diagnosis and your parking story hit such a chord. But then my husband just came home and saw me watching this video and I know he thinks I am bonkers for thinking I do have autism.
Hi Joy, I'm really sorry your husband isn't more supportive, what would help him be more so do you think? I would really recommend seeking diagnosis, it's made such a big difference to me and controlling those scary behaviours!
I don't think he means to be - I think he just thinks I should be happy with myself the way I am. Trouble is it's society that doesn't really like me this way. I never even realised I don't recognise people until recently so goodness only knows what people think of me behaving like that. Now I am starting to explain it to people - so they don't just think I am being rude. I already went the doctors once and they shrugged me off, I just don't think he wants me to hurt any more than I already do. Thank you x
I'm 31 and waiting to be diagnosed! My response to the sunset question is exactly the same. I'd love to care about them and may pretend to but what's the point in watching one 😂
I'm 36 and I just found out and am going through the same sort of emotions. Relief and sadness. But ready to take care of myself and be happier. Curious as to what sort of career paths you're looking at? I'm still figuring out what the best fit for me would be. When my children are all in school I thought it would be nice to get out there and do something for myself.
yes. i went through the grief. it was a very real feeling. 😕
💓✌🏼
Hi Ella. Fab video. How do you get a diagnosis from your GP ? I do I get tested for Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia Auditory Processing Disorder & mild Autism ?
The lady I saw at 16 years old for my ADHD told me and my parents I was showing signs of autism, but no one in the professional wouldn't even test me for it, I'm good at masking so it's understandable but to even not want to even do the tests on me made my life hell, bcoz I'm struggling now, my kids were taken away from me bcoz they perceive me to be violent and not normal and the told me it's bcoz i have bpd and it's a problem bcoz of my past I've gotten into trouble with law bcoz the world doesn't understand me. I get angry fast and I have outburst bcoz I can't communicate it's quite simple really why can't people see I have so much love inside me I can't get it out on the right ways , I can't express, o can't show people how much my life's affect by the way I am but o don't want to be fixed ii want to be accepted and firstly diagnosed, professional people have called me a child and to grow up when ove had a meltdown and they said theyve been scared of me? I am not what I appear to be there's so much more than that strange woman in tracksuits amd sunglasses on indoors bclz i can't tae the lights. Ect ect or my stims I have to hide bcoz it makes others uncomfortable ect ect.... Do not be ashamed to be different love yourself BOC no o else will that's what I've learned
I’m thinking that artist might be Patrick Bremer , I love his work
Im 35 ....i just been diagnosed...i understand you
I have an autism diagnosis appointment next month.
Did they not need to dive into your history as a young child as well?
My practioner insisted on interviewing my parents from the get go, which was difficult for me because I didn't want to bring them into all of this.
I had my assessment last week after a 2 year wait..and I'm still awaiting the outcome. Because of covid of was conducted via fone, i had to meet the clinician briefly the next day, on the park of all places so he could "observe" me.i did not like him, he made many assumptions about me.I did not feel confident about his abilities.or heard. Your exsperience differs in that respect. Thankyou for sharing your exsperience. I too got identification from my son who us on the spectrum. Seems to be the case for females, I'm angry about the gender bias.
I was Diagnosed With ASD when i was 12 and when i was diagnosed i had never heard of autism before
My appointment with the psychologist who diagnosed me was around 2 hours long. It started off with a conversation about myself and my traits and then I did a bunch of tests, including depression quizzes, motor skills, testing my ability to focus as well as my short term memory and my IQ. My diagnosis at the end was Aspergers and moderate depression (depression was an eye opener for me because it made me realise that holy crap. I do need help. What I'm experiencing is real)
I am Austrian and was diagnosed at 21. Actually my partner suggested I was autistic and my best friend was like "hm yeah actually that would work" and I'm quite relieved to have a diagnosis and have access to professional help and accommodations. University is really difficult for me.
I'm glad you found the answers you needed. Sorry university is difficult, do you have support in place? Is there a department for supporting students with additional needs? I definitely found university really hard but didn't have a diagnosis then so would hope for extra support if I did.
I am seeing a therapist now and starting antidepressants soon (hopefully) and I will see about accommodations at university asap, so thankfully, I have lots of support.
It is a shame that so many aspies go through life undiagnosed, it sucks being all on your own.
I’m crying watching this because I’m almost sure I am autistic myself ... the grieving is real 😭
I'm 29 now let's make it clear I've struggled since I was able to walk and talk
I'm going for my assessment in two weeks. I'm 61and I'm burnt out.
Is there any books or websites you could recommend for someone who’s just been diagnosed? I’m looking for some reliable resources for myself. 👍🏻✨
I was diagnosed with autism at age 2
Help!, how is that?....i mean the book part, what do you do with the book lol?, is just a white book were you have to write of you have to work in a story something that is inside?
Hi there thanks for sharing so were you diagnosed with autism later on in your adult life? Most people who are diagnosed so usually early in their childhood is when the autism signs usually appear . I have a niece and a little great niece they are both artistic and they were diagnosed in their childhood my older niece is nonverbal the younger great-niece is somewhat verbal but not completely she doesn't know how to carry conversations and does not use complete phrases just selected words here and there.
Hi, I was diagnosed as an adult, that's because I have autism without language or learning difficulties. And this kind of autism wasn't diagnosed or recognised in children when I was a child.
Hey you're video it's great I worried about that's years soon bc I have meltdown every time second thing I don't like be social interaction I want took to people in online I at the home bc my anxiety city it's full usually not find space rub Hands , I can't their own places means foot moving front back my neck moving when going shopping to markets or others sweats much cuz anxiety when they look you I forget much I get obsession
a lot need people repeat to me may 2/3 times.
Hate noise or when someone talk normally this. Can hear to me person use microphone
queue don't like when it's going out I come take my lunch school cafeteria
My special interests is science,language,draw,movie and others what's join stuff math can list also but it's not my esp cuz issues little
.Ps hope u understand my point hope have a good day!😊✨
I'm sorry you are struggling with these things. I hope you can find strategies to make things easier for you.
when i was 12 i was diagnosed with Autism does that mean i have same as you?
♥️ Follow me on Twitter. @AbandonedUp!
I hate pretending I am mature and normal...I think I have it but my parents dont want me diagnosed
Marianna Tsemekhman research what can help you if you are autistic. Maybe you will be able to find something online or on UA-cam. That can help you be the best you, you can be. Don’t let it define who you are if you are diagnosed or do have it, be all you can be.
@@24casfur i was wearng headohones. Do you ever feel you do better at tolerating noises? Some days better than other for me
I have this syndrome
You seemed quite agitated here... but you did it. You got your information out and did very well!
Why is your first name purple?
Hi, my first name is Ella. Purple Ella is a nickname.
Purple Ella I figured. I was just being silly.
guywhomighthaveaspergersneedsadvice Don't worry, it makes sense that you might take it literally :-)
Purple Ella lol Got ya.
You describe so many things I struggle with in life. Are you considered high functioning? I believe in my heart I have autism and adhd. But I’m wicked smart but not functioning in the world well. At 57, I struggle with meltdowns and anxiety.
Interesting video, thanks. The U.S. is less obsessed with diagnosis than you Brits but our insurance won't cover it and you know how cheap we are!! I would never do a test anyway, for fear that I would Not be diagnosed. I would be really depressing not being autistic, wondering to myself, "damn what do I have?" It is nice to have a self-researched 'explanation' to lean on, although dealing with others never seems to change. I am always amazed people don't find me more interesting and they never seem to ask me questions, umm......... well I don't seem to bore myself.........
You're beatiful
Thank fuck I don't drive.
What’s the point of watching a sunset????????
So you’re saying people with autism don’t care to watch a sun set???
I’m confused...