What is the 'Men Written by Women' Phenomenon?
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- Опубліковано 21 жов 2022
- The Swaddle team explores why celebrities like Timothée Chalamet and Ranveer Singh are being praised as being 'written by women,' and how this reveals a deeper unhappiness with heterosexual romance.
Read the article this video is based on here: theswaddle.com/the-men-writte...
Edit and Motion Graphics: Vibhav Saraf
Art Director: Neha Shekhawat
Scriptwriter: Rohitha Naraharisetty
Presenter: Quoyina Ghosh
Visual Researcher: Valli Peddada
Creative Director: Shrishti Malhotra
Executive Producer: Karla Bookman
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Idk what Gauri Shinde is doing right but it’s been 10 years since ‘English Vinglish’ and she wrote some good male characters.
U forgot dear zindagi.
Dr jags reject her without being rude or cruel and provides an explanation for the same
@@swatisaini6447 true...and do you remember the sound his chair made when he sat on it after kaira was gone ...I kinda got the feeling that he started liking her too(not as much as kaira)
Btw that SRK's character is my all time favourite
@@RajeshKumar-mf2eh he did confess he likes her and would love to go on date but politely rejects coz skewered power dynamics
Oh God I was about to comment same
**All girls are bullshit*** sab natak chalta hai idhar.
I listened a joke that a girl's heart breaks. Hahahaha. Girls are queens for breakup initiatives, flaking, looting money. and I still wonder they can even love.
1:35 I love how the French guy accepted shashi's rejection with dignity and grace ❤️
How do you know that it was a rejection scene? You watched the movie? If yes, tell me the name, i too want to watch
@@gampa_10_31it's English Vinglish.
@@gampa_10_31 ofcourse I have seen English vinglish how else would I know sridevi is shashi 😂
**All girls are bullshit*** sab natak chalta hai idhar.
I listened a joke that a girl's heart breaks. Hahahaha. Girls are queens for breakup initiatives, flaking, looting money. and I still wonder they can even love.
0:36 even ben shapiro would feel scandalized if he was given those vulgur tweets, it's no big deal. I think this host never met or talked to men before, she knows nothing about men, even andrew tate will listen if you talk sensible things 0:26. She said alot of dumb shit in this video so if men are not taking you seriously, it's just your fault. And men threatened by intelligence and sucess? Women are threatened by men's intelligence and success bcuz it re-enforces patriarchy. Even friends show PDA, stop making everything seem so revolutionary.
I know a guy who sooo fits this idea "man written by women". He helps out in the household, holds interesting opinions, listens to others, is rarely outraged but at the same time tries to protect his loved ones to the best of his capabilities. He is my roommate's boyfriend.
Shout out to all such men!
🥲🥲🥲
Your roommate is lucky 😅
@@ithinkiknowme6450 o yeah.. she is! And she knows it.
The thing is there are many guys like that but somehow or other they're devalued by women who wants to have a thrilling experience (mostly cuz of a restrictive upbringing) so they chose "bad guys" over these kinda dudes who are mostly friend zoned in their teenage or early 20s till when most women mature enough to realise the "bad guy fixer" was a phase & then go for these guys who by this time, had faced enough rejections despite giving their best that they're under-confident & unable to express themselves, which u guys rightfully want.
"If you're sending, express it na" but alas u don't know the backstory. If everyone of us, start to know eachother & talk about what we all have gone through in our lives than putting burdens of expectations on eachother, I guess life would be easier.
@@codeytherex5954 well put!
Aditya from jab we met...he was a very rare gentle Bollywood character
truly hero
True! Hard to believe the same actor played Kabir Singh. It's probably a testament to Shahid's acting skill.
@@dr.pomitaghoshal672 ikr..we need more characters like Aditya, not like Kabir.
@@sowmyasree5715 Exactly.
Also Sid from Dil Chahta Hai
Jane Austen made Men written by Women an aspiration and also accessible.
Are you talking about Pride and Prejudice??
@@ashwinidesai4051 I was referring to all her work.
truer words have never been spoken.
Actually austen's heroes are considered to be condescending fitting the bill of her age 🙃!
@@sreetamaghosh516 They are, at first.
That's why korean dramas are so famous.
The male leads could be seen being soft,sad and emotional.
They are not afraid to express themselves and are not confined to the alpha male idea of musculinity.
They are sensitive,strong ,protective as well as weak at times.
That's what women like.
Andrew Tate Fanboys incoming in 3....2....1
Depends on drama. Kdrama have many bad toxic guy as lead
I don't think that all women like soft guy . I am a women I am not their biggest fan
I am casual listener of kpop and an army believe me korea is like that only in drama...Reality is harsh I just cried two days ago what women have to go through there..Korea is men centred country..
@@celestelennoxx obviously its an asian country but in the dramas they are portraying it so that comng gen would know how to treat a woman in a better way
some indian shows other than those saas bahu also try to highlight such issues but no one in india is intrested and often we, the woman are criticized for having such expectations from man
In Korean dramas they show these kind of male characters which goes very well with the type of female characters they show in those dramas. Its a two way thing.
If they show what kind of man a woman wants.
Then they also show what kind of women a man wants .
N their is a difference between being weak n vanurable.
These men aren't weak, rather vanurable.
If a woman can provide a safe space for the guy so that he can express himself. Then he will.
N in these kinds of dramas the female characters do that for the male characters.
Some Bollywood characters who fit the bill: Shahid in Jab We Met, Aamir in Taare Zameen Par, SRK in RNBDJ and Dear Zindagi, Varun in October and Sui Dhaaga, Farhan in Dil Dhadakne Do, Akshay in Pad Man.. even Amitabh in Pink. And don't miss Pankaj Tripathi in Bareilly ki Barfi, Gunjan Saxena and Angrezi mein Kahte hain!
@@soultune908 He's a very versatile actor. Even Udta Punjab and Haider showed that.
pankaj tripathi is gem
Pankaj Tripathi in criminal justice..
Akshaye Khanna in Dil Chahta Hai (Sid), SRK in Swades (Mohan), AB Jr. in Manmarziyaan (Robbie) also Vicky Kaushal in Raazi (Iqbal)
@@TannisthaLahiri Absolutely. And I guess Akshay Kumar in Dhadkan also.
I really loved the thoughtfulness of the character of Rana (Irfan Khan) in Piku, where we can see the kind of background he comes from - he doesn't make it a point to use against women but understands them even better.
Exactly
As a sensitive, emotional and soft man myself, I feel that girls/female partners appreciate and like this quality of mine more than my male friends. They feel that since I am 6 ft with a baritone voice and all, I should "act" like a "male". Today I understood what they meant. I should act like the version of male in their heads. Well, I couldn't care less.
Just be yourself brother ✌🏻
Always be a better version of yourself who does not harm others and happy with himself or herself
Sensitive, emotional and soft? Are you a woman?
@@drakecliff8378 and what are you, a moron?
@@SilverQuill27 that's not a polite way to talk seems like your parents have failed you.
As a male myself, I think this is a idea that could be implemented at both men and women. Masculine and feminine qualities are not inferior or superior, both are beautiful in their own way, but they are very different. By just accepting ourselves to be solely ‘masculine’ or solely ‘feminine’ we limit a lot of creative drive and energy that we might otherwise discover. So maybe it’s more about adapting the best of both the ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ traits to develop a more strong, independent, but ready to learn mindset, and this does not only applies to men.
Well said!
Beautifully written! ✨
Not gonna happen..
@@thegamerfalcon yea since bastards like you are still alive.
Masculine >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>feminine
Thank you so much for making this video. With the hype around Chinese and Korean drama reaching its peak, I believe this concept of men is the most desired one now. The way the Swaddle team has break down this concept through their research is just applaudable. I must say Swaddle videos educate me a lot. Being a journalist student, this channel is like an enlightenment dose for me. 😇😇😇😇
Exactly....the recent hype of East asian dramas in India (mostly among teenage girls) is the best example of this......
They are fantasy boys real east asian men are shallow and patriarchal not so respective towards women
@@RajeshKumar-mf2eh and for good reason.. with the kind of indian men we have today thats like, the best option out there
@@RajeshKumar-mf2eh Not east Asian,but Koreans only. There are few chinese dramas that are good but vast majority are crap and only tries to imitate korean dramas. Japanese movies used to be great in the past(especially horror ones like ring and grudge) but they have been mostly forgotten and now the whole japanese industry is solely focused on animes. I also noticed that animes are mostly likes by guys while the Korean dramas by gals
@@coldplayfan7357 yup I noticed it too
Normalise using ’The Tragedy of Heterosexuality’ in daily conversation.
It's a great thing that now women know what they want from a relationship, and how they want to be treated? Masculinity is not anti-feminism but it also does not mean showcasing it with dominance, aggression and violent nature
I think , it shows how masculinity should be according to women.
Not men .
Like how masculinity should benefits women more . I could be wrong .
But this is what I got.
@@karna8658 if you want masculinity to benefit u then please stay away from masculine men.
@@karna8658 staying in touch with your emotions, being a good listener who is empathetic and actually cares...these are appreciative qualities in just anyone. Even if it doesn't benefit a woman it is going to benefit you. It's not showing how it should be but rather shows how it can be when you break away from toxic maculinity.
@@duckling4073 first of all their is no such thing as toxic masculinity.
Bad behaviour can't be termed as masculinity.
I don't understand why people confused these two.
Then why is there no such thing as toxic femininity ??
Its very sexist.
Getting angry or being violent has nothing to do with masculinity , it's just bad behaviour .
Cuz , women can be violent n or get angry too.
For , me the ideal type of guy is the character written in the movie Bahubali.
The Prabha's character (the father).
His character is perfect , I think thats an ideal man . N any men should be like him. That's a traditional form of masculinity , n it's not toxic at all.
N I think that character is written by a man.
@@soultune908 men who cry are mostly mocked n look down by women. They lose respect for the guy.
I have seen that alot .
N u can hear n see many stories of men n they showed their vanurablility in front of a woman , which was used against them. I think Norah Vincent her experiment Also proves it .
Apart from the men mentioned, I think Ross Lynch, Fawad Khan, Tahir Raj Bhasin, Parambrata Chatterjee and Abir Chatterjee. Also, he’s no more but Soumitra Chatterjee was up there as a man written by a woman.
Abir is truly is a "man written by women"! He's a great guy 💛
Ah it's so good to see somebody mention Ross Lynch as not many people are aware of who he is. He truly is a man written by a woman. Also, totally agree with the rest of your list.
chakka hai kya bengali?
@@harveyepstein8256 wtf mind your words...you're nothing but a chapri belonging to the streets.
@@coolNerdnextdoor mirchi 🤣🤣
when they showed sharukh on the screen i’m taken back to shrayana bhattacharya’s desperately seeking shah rukh - after having read the book where she breaks down why srk is a female icon and not a feminist one, i truly seem to understand where this idea of ‘men written by women’ started from (in context of present day bollywood)
Who is Sharanya Bhattacharya? Please I want to read this too, sounds really insightful.
@@RevelingScribbler a writer, economist, author - you can find her book desperately seeking sharukh literally everywhere. i suggest reading that to delve deeper into the class structure, gender issues in india. also having a little bias for srk really helps :)
Kim Namjoon comes to my mind when i hear this phrase "a man written by Women".
Make a video abt how daughters "teenager" are shown as problematic PPL like of aarya, English winglish, family man ...why only daughters...
Cuz thats true. But yeah all teens are douche and problematic lunatics.
Right....like all teenage girls are rude and disrespectful 🙄
So true, it needs an analysis
@@saswatapaladhi4608 my point is why more such characters from one gender....are only female teenagers problematic ...
@@shalinibhada Both of her kids in English Winglish are problematic tho
Literally the whole of wattpad works on this phenomenon
and the statements i get to hear that 'I don't have a crush but on fictional characters yes i do' or that 'the male characters in the book or this fictional character has so increased my standards that it feels like no other man around me can cross it' are some statements that i literally get to hear on daily basis in my school and their obsession towards fan fictions is on another level
I do read.but i have 50 -50 taught about it.half of character i love so so much but half of them i hate so so much.playboy, controlling and obsessed characters are my biggest turn off.it makes me think do really women are okay with it.cuz i am not.
@@soultune908 then read some good stories. I've been using it for ten years now and I have come across some of the best stories I've ever read in terms of the plotlines, characters, and writing. Usually, books that aren't that popular are really good.
@@IDontCare39 please, suggest me something if you want? I've been using it for 7-8 years now, and all of them seem so same these days that I'm not able to go through them till the end🥺
FRRR And some shoujo animes
@@swetamohapatra3931I would suggest you to watch "blur the line". The male character is just chef kiss.
Jackson Wang 💕He is a man written by woman. Not a fictional but a real man. 😘Such a humble and sweet person.
Those two words .... JACKSON WANG.... N you have my full attention!! XD
@@shayankhadeeja2345 ✋🏼😉
Umm sorry but do you know him personally?... sorry if it come as rude...but I've heard that the men in Korean entrainment ( not only in Korean but almost every boy band/girl band from any country) are trained how to behave or act ......
@@RajeshKumar-mf2eh Jackson wang has hundreds of accounts writing by non fans, off camera of how amazing his behavior has always been.
@@Lofreya87 great to know that but I mean you don't really know how what kind of person he is in a relationship....
But also I really appreciate what kind of person he is in public as you said
kim NAMJOON... all the way knj... he is writeen by a woman...i mwan seems to. i'm 22 and still can't get over him...uff...bless my soul.
patriarchy doesn't just effect women, but men to a large degree. No matter how fictional, media dictates how we see the opposite gender and how we ourselves resonate with our own gender. The problem with most of popular media being penned by men is that it gives an eskewed prespective on women making them one dimensional, and for men, dictating how a "proper" man should behave. I mean even as women, we see straight through the male gaze, an even femininity to what they describe. normal men, it's not that they don't posses these qualities but more so that they aren't allowed to. It may seem that our lists are long, but on a human level, every individual wants a partner who is supportive and respectful of them.
okay but where is the matter of patriarchy in this?
@@ShwetabhSenpai it's cool to say patriarchy 💀
4:15 "Both women written by men and men written by woman, tropes are the direct embodiment of the male and female gaze and their collective fantasies. But While the former reduces real women to the sum of their parts, the later is an attempt to redeem real men by infusing their fictional selves with more warmth sensitivity and compassion. "
Kim Namjoon aka RM of BTS (a Korean music group) is definitely a man written by a woman. He's intelligent (IQ of 148, top 1% of south korea) talented, incredible lyricist, loves books and art, warm and kind, a feminist, nature lover, and so much more plus tall and handsome with a cute dimpled smile 💜
His emotional intelligence and the ability to handle the flow of conversation smoothly while making the person in front of him comfortable, his intelligence, the words he uses,his sensibility and sensitivity. The way he cleverly gives a befitting reply to rude questions by interviewers without himself coming off to be rude. All of this apart, he never speaks over others and encourages the other members to talk in interviews and speeches. To sum it up, an extremely talented artist, with the mind if a philosopher, renowned as "the philosopher who raps", speaks in poetry and is always humble, the type who writes a song about his bicycle and his love of riding bicycles, a clumsadorable cutie with the most beautiful dimpled smile but also 6ft tall handsome with sharp dragon eyes , also a feminist who reads books about struggles of women in the past century and tries to understand them. Oh and he loves plants and trees and nature and thinks crabs are cute. Truly a man written by a woman.
@@joonieluv5918 literally you have wrote an entire essay about Kim namjoon. 10/10💜💜💜
💜
He is the first that comes to my mind when the phrase men written by women comes.
He is a prince charming who won't settle for less.
I know it's a bit out of context but I really really liked the male lead in the kdrama it's ok to not be ok. I am not talking about looks, I am talking about his character. His charecter was very different from typical male leads. He was so selfless, patience and his struggle to live for himself rather than living his entire life for others was really heart touching. I never felt so much for any male as much as I did for him. Definitely my life was not as hard as his but the feeling of always having to sacrifice for others was relatable. That guy lost his father and then mother when he was just 12 and alone had to take care of his mentally unstable older brother. I cried many times seeing him crying because it felt like I am living it.
He never attacked back on anyone who used to beat or shout at him because he felt like if he will remain quite then things won't become worst. So he suppressed his anger, his feelings, his needs just to make others comfortable. Always gave others more priority than himself. My mom was also like him.
Sid from Dil Chahta Hai is an example of a man written by a man but from a feminist’s lens. He’s very much part of the boys’ gang but has a soft, sensitive and emotionally intelligent side. Can we have more of him? 🥹
Omg yess
Yesss!!! More Sid, please. And by extension, perhaps more Akshaye Khanna.
Trueee Sid is nicee
Oh yes
@@shrishri8898 so is Johnny sins 😂
I’m grateful I have my husband who’s exactly “men written by women”. Smart, sensitive, in touch with his grace. I just sent him this video. ❤
What are responsibilities of females according to feminism?
nothing, just complaining and ranting
Nailed it! JC
Ignoring such stupid comments😂
I've always felt how Kim Namjoon is the man written by woman. I've grown up in a household where masculinity has been toxic and in that situation finding soft beautiful men like them really felt like a ray of hope and comfort. Since then I've changed my way of looking at people and I try my best to break the stereotypes. Anyway, it feels good to know such amazing men who truly mean so much to me now
Omg yes 😭😭😭😭 and the way he really takes the initiative to educate himself about gender sensitivity 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧🤧
I agree as well... in a sense, he truly has the "best of both worlds" wherein he's 6 ft and good looking with a deep baritone voice and cute dimples and a sensitive and self-reflective attitude towards things
people call us as a toxic army bcoz we admire them
@@srishtichakraborty8307 they're truly the best people ever. The way they heal us and help us feel loved is everything, indeed that's something I wanna be..I wanna be like them one day.
@@JAnugya exactly! I always end up thinking how amazing he is. Yk my heart can't stay calm when I think of this man who's so beautiful both inside and outside. I was not the type who would enjoy listening to people talking/sharing stuffs about things they truly love..but after I saw him, I changed. The way I can spend hours listening to him and admiring each and every photo on his Instagram. Idk I feel like home when I look at him 🥺
ok so basically men who do the bare minimum for us and give us basic respect
🤔🤔🤔
Which still is not the majority.
For women like you everything a man does is bare minimum
Red flag alert
undeserved, i must say.
Care to elaborate?
Brainwashed you are
Any man who can be gentle to take one's vulnerabilities and handle them with care is way more attractive than a tough guy who can't express his feelings openly.
What is a tough guy?
Ye bas bolne ke liye hota hai. Reality tum log vo "tough guy" hi prefer karoge
Hahahah that's cute but men aren't vulnerable by nature
@@saswatapaladhi4608 she just said what she prefers why should u correct her about things she knows abt herself
@@tusharsharma8952 stop commenting on others comments
"Men written by women" the moment I see this phrase, the first person who comes to my mind is Kim Namjoon.
Celebrities like: Tom Holland, Andrew, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris prett .. almost all marvel cast and in Bollywood our very own SRK
If there's a celebrity who completely resembles this phrase “Man written by a Woman” it is definitely Kim Namjoon from BTS like that man sure feels like a mirage sometimes 😭
Simple solution : Stop fantasizing on what you see on social media.
True for both men and women.
It's obviously not social media fantasy...it's been an age old thing...Jane Austen wrote abt it....better solution: stop rejecting and correcting everything others say and take the opposite genders best interest men and women
@@selku3973 🔥🔥👏👏👏👏
Duh social media?! Pride and Prejudice, little women are all early 19th century novels. The idea of "men written by women" came from these novels only
It's not fantasy, these are historical novels - a man can be kind, understanding and learn to handle his emotions, which is something that most men don't want to do, yet blame feminists as the reason for not being allowed to do so. It's humanizing men as complex people.
Kim Namjoon needed to feature in this video and Mr .Darcy from pride and prejudice is upfront representative of genre 'men written by women' kudos to Jane Austen for such timeless creation.
Hi, please make a video on jealousy in a personal relationship and restricting women's lives for it or constantly mentally torturing them. I've seen people very very close to me go through that, and it still haunts me. Also, make a video on stalking women. How this is so rampant. And, our system doesn't take action against the perpetrator, instead, restricts the victim; but stalking doesn't stop, results in more horrible crimes like murder; and more importantly, that is just so unfair.
Gilbert from Anne with an 'E'
Yayyy
Yup!!
He got his head bashed in with a slate and immediately proceeded to simp for Anne for the rest of his life 😂😂
And women written by men will never include women written by Oscar Wilde, Russel. T. Davies, etc. and men written by women won't include Emily Bronte, Erika Mitchell,etc
Lord you explained everything so smoothly and beautifully !! *Chef's kiss* I loved it 😭😭😭
The french man in English vinglish has my heart forever❤️
i am actually blown away by this video, so well though so enriching
All I see in this video
Men written by women is right
Women written by men is wrong
It's time to rethink judgments made in this video.
The fundamental problem is this
"It's too much to ask for."
That said, I've also noticed this.
Women written by men has had its time to evolve. Nowadays the perfect looking woman according to male fantasy is also deeply flawed (like being morally questionable - nobody wants Harley Quinn as a wife / mother of one's children) whereas the man written by a woman is still a crude fantasy given how he is flawless and perfect.
Don't forget the ghost from paheli. He is a ghost which highlights how impossible it is to find great men in real life- Pankaj sachdev
Wow
Loved it how you said. And have you read vijaydan ji dethas other stories... There is a story which has an amazing guy called कबूतरवाला from lajwanti...
@@shalinibhada no I haven't read😅 I just wrote what I found in a blog by Pankaj sachdev
@@swatisaini6447 you should, vijaydan ji was a very feminist writer and wrote abt female desires... Lajwanti is abt corrupt relation but you will not able to judge the lady and man both...
Men are good whether they're human or not and women are wicked whether human or not 😂😂
Varun Dhawan and Vicky koushal can be. More than shahrukh i think the characters of saif ali khan can be included.
There are many in kpop like jimin from BTS, Lee know from stray kids, the whole TXT, Jay from enhypen , atleast half of the members of seventeen etc....
Shawn mendes, timothee chalamet the list goes on..
😍Also Jin, Jhope , Jackson Wang, Chen
These men raised my standards in men.
100% confirm that I'm gonna die single. 🙂
Girl, I was about to comment the same, Shawn Mendes and for me all 13 members of Seventeen, Jackson from Got7... I am sure there a few more but these were the first I could think of...
@@purpleheartedkpopsoul We all are... ;D
God, what is common in all these gorgeous men is that they make us feel blessed, and make us feel good about ourselves. Like how Shashi, Sridevi's character in English Vinglish said.
Honestly most of kpop be so soft
Do Kyungsoo for me is man written by woman
For me, he is close to definition of a man with whom I'll always feel comfortable and lovable
Someone who has deep emotions, a straightforward mind and a sensitive heart
I can go and on and on about him being my dream man and I hope he also meets his dream woman soon!!!♡
I completely agree. He is my bias for the same reasons and more.
This can only happen when both men and women have the understanding to go beyond their fantasies...and take a peek on the person within....
Sadly with each passing day.... we are going away from this.
The problem is brother that everyone wants an ideal partner but don't want to become one. Be it a man or a woman.
@@amitrana9090 well said
Can you morph your face to a actor level?
Or you can be rich af on command?
If not then shut your trap
Bro. Thing is women themselves are killing chivalry.
@@saswatapaladhi4608 World is getting complicated but I think we should try to focus on what we want and can improve in our own self.
Afterall we need just one person.
Don't forget Ben from The Intern !!
Yes, that one was amazing. Ben was from a different generation altogother, and still so supportive and openminded. Even the bit of old-fashioned chivalry part of his character made him more amusing.
And obviously expecting a man to be highly emotionally intelligent and being 'traditionally masculine' are not toxic traits at all
Masculinity is a universal truth, and has nothing to do with tradition or modernity, nor with today's media, nor with the ideas of the ancient past.
kim namjoon 😍
Put up the good work, Swdl. Love it !
Umm for me it's SRK's character from Dear jindagi and Fl's father in thappad movie and ml (Irfan Khan) in piku
Don't remember much about Hollywood actors/characters as I rarely watch those movies
So I will share some of my experience and understanding as an Indian male here, even though very few are going to care. I am a 26 years old heterosexual male and I believe I am a compassionate, kind-hearted, and soft spoken person. I see myself as being both masculine and feminine. Masculine because I enjoy and desire having a strong physique and also enjoy some traits that are generally associated with traditional masculinity. My education is in engineering from a good institute and I enjoy painting, learning musical instruments, reading books and other creative stuffs. In my 26 years of existence, I haven't experienced any romantic interest from the other gender. Although my looks are average, my height is below average (5'1"). As a teenager, I used to worry about my height. I believe many men do because that is what is highly desired by those who we see as romantic interests. I saw few doctors and later understood that it is something that can't be changed. I had an intense liking for a girl and everytime I used to listen to her idea of a perfect man it used to break my heart. She wanted to marry a tall man with few more masculine traits. She eventually married a tall man and I am happy that the man she is with is a really nice person. I always wish them the best in life. However, I did felt less masculine in my teenage years and wondered how to overcome that. I thankfully followed my heart and learned things I love. My female friends always compliments me for my creative abilities. However, none of them desires a man like me as their partner. I don't blame anyone, nor do I think they are wrong. People can obviously have preferences. Women can have preferences such as a tall and masculine man. I just don't believe that anyone is ever going to love me for who I am and that's fine. I have accepted it with grace. I will continue to embrace my masculine and feminine aspects. I believe many women do like feminine qualities (like the ones I possess) in their husbands but only after they become their husband. In simpler words, women would choose a tall and masculine man as their husband and then want him to be a man with feminine qualities. Again, I am not saying that it is wrong, it is okay to have any kind of preference. I just want to say that I resemble these "men written by women" characters to some degree but I don't believe any woman is ever going to love me atleast as a potential partner. She might value these traits of mine if ever I get married to someone. As a man I feel it gets somewhat confusing for us as we don't understand what to become and whom to satisfy. Once I tried to become what my female peers desired and probably failed. Now I am getting these lists of things that I need to become by feminists. I feel tired sometimes. I feel that love is so difficult for people like me. The traits that women seem to desire in the real world and the traits that are shown as desirable to women in theory doesn't seem to match. What to become? How much more to satisfy ? Maybe I'll just workout in the evenings and play my harmonica from my balcony and enjoy alone. Maybe I'll also write some poetry for women who think I can never be good enough.
Strictly based on the dating scenario, the number one quality for desirability is physical attractiveness. Everything comes after that. A beautiful woman has a lot of options but in men only the top 10% have the same privilege as the Top 30% women. It's vapid but this is how it is, the harsh reality. You like a girl cuz you find her attractive but she would be with the one whom she finds attractive. There might be girls who like you but you're not attracted to them, would you reciprocate their feelings?
The qualities that you possess are just a facet of what feminists consider attractive in a guy, also notice that the romanticised men in books, movies and media that have these qualities are conventionally attractive so there's that. Physical attractiveness is the door, qualities and attributes are the rooms within it. The problem is a lot of men can't even get through the door for their qualites to be appreciated by their future partners. And not all women are feminists, a lot of women operate differently, so the desirability aspects of such characters in books and media is a new phenomenon, we have a larger subsection of women who are into the macho alpha type of men too. I think the perfect balance is to have characteristics of both the types ( keep in mind being a strong/macho man shouldn't be read as being a misogynist or those Kabir Singh types lol)
Also having empathy, sensitivity and compassion is a quality that every human should possess be it men or women.
i feel really sorry for you. all i want to tell u is that don't change your feminine qualities to attract any women the right person who values you the way you are will enter your life sooner or later... women do value feminine guys its just you have not come across any such women yet or may be women around you don't know that you are this soft
Omg it's so unpleasant to hear your life experience mate, deep sorry for you. And I mean that's why people still believing in the idea of distinct muscuilinity and feminity in each genders. Meanwhile there are plenty of women out there satisfying or reaching around the same height as of your's, but unfortunately almost all of them are after tall guys, glorifying feminine men works only across internet because only netizens get to posses anonymity and dishonesty than irl. Anyway good luck with your objectives and have a great life ahead👍
Loved this video the most this far❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️ lots of love and good vibes to you all swaddle 💞💞💞
Wow thanku so much swaddle team for this
Lmao not ‘The Swaddle’ making my morning with the Hand Flex Scene from ‘Pride and Prejudice’ which I’ve recreated with my camera facing on point.
RM of BTS
Oh my God, I was a fool to think my man was a "man written by a women." Well, I am not also a "manic pixie dream girl". So, we both are disappointed for these two reasons. Now, tell me what to do to keep things romantic.
Well I agree with the fact that 'women written by men' are not enough significant like 'men written by women' we should not generalise the former. There are some nice examples of beautiful and strong female characters being written by men. Like Bahubali (Devasena & Shivagami); The white tiger (Pinky), etc. Though they number pretty less.
In bahubali he literally plotted 2 queens against each other.... imagine how powerful it could have been if they were on the same side
@@selku3973 but that made the story interesting. The two brother ( two candidates for becoming king) were also plotted against each other
Devasana was a femme fatale who was ultimately sidelined for the hero's grandeur. A few scenes of action and strength don't compensate. This is a running theme in films written by men that have 'strong female characters' wherein the female character has to have her role sidelined somehow.
What a brilliant video !!!
Good video! Loved it!
Nothing beats Gilbert from 'Anne of green gables'
A celebrity that not only me but many others see as having been written by a woman would be Kim Namjoon. He's the leader of the South Korean boy group, BTS. He's intelligent, handsome, immensely talented at what he does, is a feminist, is sensitive, warm and everything else. Some of his hobbies include reading books, visiting museums, taking walks in parks, admiring nature, etc. From what I have seen, what I personally like about him is his nature and the fact that unlike most men he apologizes for his mistakes, tries to understand the problem and makes sure that it never happens again. He is also a great leader and the other members appreciate him a lot.
when i saw Lee jung suk and Jackson in the intro i thought even the kdrama k-pop reference will be made, coz they have many "written by women kind of men" there. but nevertheless loved how almost all indian and western softbois are shown here... and the contrast between "men written by women" and "women written by men" was just so apt....
Lee Jun-ho (Kang Tae-oh) from Extraordinary Attorney Woo
This is so good
Kim Namjoon through and through.
so good!
This is so true!
Jackson Wang....these two words and you have my attention 💯
The protagonist named Gary Preston from a British sitcom Miranda stole my heart
Bangchan from SKZ, Jackson Wang etc 😭🏃🏻♀️
✋🏼😭
Jackson Wang , a man of quality.
Ahhh that man💕
Basically a lot of third generation and fourth generation kpop idols
Bangchan 😭comfort boi
wonder what pieces women have written about the real experiences with men, not their fantasies but the reality.. would love to read something like that..suggestions are welcome
Men or women need to accept the other person as they are ! The fantasy that the perfect mate will be so n so is started by cinema ,art and social media.... It's time we respect everyone for themselves even if we don't believe in their ways. Saves alot of animosity. ... Being kind is the ultimate goal
Acceptence can come only if both are good if a men is toxic then no one gonna accept them
i think we all need to learn to differentiate between healthy expectations and the toxic ones. I mean expecting love, kindness, support, loyalty, trust and mutual respect from your partner are the basics. It's the foundation of a relationship. we cannot just say like "I don't expect anything from my partner". It's just NOT POSSIABLE. humans crave for love and affection and we very much expect to receive it from our partner.
@@micasajoonie9613 can you provide the same to him? And to what capacity? You realise that reality isn't your BTS k-pop drama?
@@SafavidAfsharid3197 all the things that I stated earlier goes both ways, so of course if I expect all those things then Certainly i would provide it too because those are the bare minimum things that are needed for a healthy relationship . And I still stand by my word that every person craves for affection so one should be able to love and Be Loved.
I don't even see any point for argument here. And no i don't expect my partner to be a kdrama lead but all the things that I stated in the earlier comment are needed and if one can't even provide their partner with such bare minimum then why even be in a relationship.
@@SafavidAfsharid3197 would you not expect love, support, trust, respect from your partner??
Women do u love us the way we wanted? The answer is big "NO"
Isn't the very core of our modern society don't fit into someone's else expections?
Well, we have the perfect guy in our mind and guys also have the ideal woman in your mind. No one will ever live up to all that expections.
To all sane minded boys who are gonna watch this video remember one thing
REJECT WOKENESS EMBRACE MASCULINITY.
be proud of your Masculinity and being a man.
Harry styles and ayushman khurrana ❤️
BTS are men written by women:”)
no wonder they look ghey
Every line spoken in this video is 100% true. I have projected my fantasies on many a fictional characters and Jackson Wang.
I always wonder what women truly feels like. And I don't know what's in their heart deep inside. It feels like these characters are a window into their world. Its amazing just how different we all truly are and still we're all the same. Truly amazing thank you.
Same, I have also wondered how men truly feels like.
Your curiosity is beautiful brother ❤
Kdramas in the form of second male lead have shown us what a woman really wants in a man... Although the female lead goes for male lead there are plenty women who'll choose the second lead... I'd do that btw🤗... But these characters elaborate and show us that men are humans too who feel all these emotions and are accepted by women...
This is exactly what I disliked in the Barbie movie. She mocked everything about male and female stereotypes in the society, but the moment at the end all the barbies start to trap the kens, the moment where she says “just say you don’t know how to do some physical or technical work, just say you haven’t seen The Godfather, just say you haven’t appreciated something that the male population will crave and they can’t help themselves but try and explain or correct you” I started feeling Greta Gerwig really doesn’t like men at all..subconsciously. It went a little too far and made me feel, why is appreciating The Godfather a masculine thing and “toxic”? Isn’t it really a masterpiece? Why is asking for help doing technical stuff “toxic”? Not just asking for help, but HELPING A PERSON WHO’S ASKING FOR HELP DOING TECHNICAL STUFF! Wrap your head around that! That’s the point where I got disconnected from the Barbie movie and started feeling she’s hiding a lot of hatred for masculinity, even in the forms it is needed.
I never watched barbie honestly I've been so on the fence because I can't tell if it's truly feminist movie or coddling today's narrative
I was watching Mismatched and came across this vid...Rishi Singh Shekhawat anyone?
Also in the Bridgerton series, Colin matches the description perfectly!
Harsh is better though
@@tapankumardas450 well yeah...the second season focused a lot on Harsh and he showed a great level of character development.
its the way i knew this video would be good the secong i saw jackson wang.
he is the embodiment of "men written my women"
I love this video topic and video also 👍
What is "men born and raised by women" phenomenon?
As the person whos presenting this video is Indian, i assume you know a dancer, actor and a comedian named Raghav Juyal.
I have been obsessed with his persona since forever including the personalities you mentioned here such as Timmy, Hiddleston, Sid, Reaves, Ayush etc.
(I personally believe DylanOBrien & Ben Barnes also belong to this though they didnt appear in this video)
Now only i understand why they all make my heart flutter for all this time coz they all carry this soft masculine energy thats way more appealing to women more than biceps & triceps.
Personally I think the source of this is toxic masculinity tbh, if we men can be in touch with our emotions more and care about ourselves more as well rejecting toxic masculine norms of being the bread winner all the time of having to dominate (which often has patriachal notions) I think we can become better. Its like the one of the commenters said Patriarchy also affects men (ofc women are more affected in terms of their agency and autonomy). And I think it's in men's interest to address this, masculinity isn't the problem as a cis hetereosexual man I enjoy masculinity but creating a more emotionally intimate, caring and kinder masculinity. I'd even advocate for showing affection for one and another, and that doesn't make us less masculine at all.
Yes, that's the gist of it. Toxic masculinity is not saying that masculinity is bad. Masculinity is good and has its strengths; society just is fixated on the worst of it and presents that as the ideal and norm.
Awesome
SRK in Kabhi ha kabhi naa, yes boss, pardes and my name is khan,
irfan khan in piku, the namesake and the lunchbox,
Rahul Bose in The Japanese wife, mr. and mrs. Iyer, 15 park avenue,
Johnny depp in benny and Joon, Edward scissorhands, what’s eating Gilbert grape, Donnie brasco, blow and Ed wood
Dev Patel was definitely written by women 😭
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR CONTENT AND PRESENTATION...I STRONGLY FOLLOW AND SUPPORT YOUR CHANNEL...I really Wish I could Work with You Guys... Can anyone please inform me how should I apply to be a part of your team...what are your methods, stages of selection?
Don't search who directed American Psycho
The men of JRR Tolkien : Aragorn, Frodo, Samwise, Merry, Pippin, etc etc...they were written by a man and boy oh boy what characters they are. Just sharing.
Yes!
Men and women have different idealized versions of men, obviously. Men idealize themselves one way, women idealize them in another way.
Swaddle I would really appreciate if you made this video in Hindi as well to appeal to the non English speakers and make them understand such concepts.
Why not in Telugu?
@@gampa_10_31 Yeah they should in different languages. I just said Hindi cz I want northern non-English folks (where I am from) to understand this concept too so.
@@gampa_10_31 learn hindi instead
JAY HIND!
@@gogoplu I want Telugu non English folks to understand this
@@ShwetabhSenpai Learn Telugu instead
Jai hind
How can we forget
✨Chris Evans ✨
whatever but i liked ur voice and way of speaking and look ❤️ keep going!
Please include Chris Evans as well🤧♥️
Tom Cruise?
great video!!
Work on yourself and get what you desire. Or Cry on the Internet. It's your life.
Now Heterosexual is the problem? 😮 You guys are taking this to a whole another level