If you've dated women, at some point in your life you've probably heard her say the phrase: "I don't want to waste my time." The idea here is that the woman is challenging the relationship on the basis that she is not getting enough of what she wants, when she wants it. Furthermore, men who do not provide value on women's timelines are considered "time-wasters," and become the target of a good deal of social vitriol. In this episode, I share a few of my hot takes on this phrase -- and the attitude behind it. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by @valntinomusic. Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #women #psychology
MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH" I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability. ............................. "Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'. ............................. NEURO-PERSONALITY ............................. "SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤 'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality). THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic). WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs). ............................... Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality'). I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)! European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!! They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till. xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists. ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism). Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level. SUMMARY Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology. [Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ). Narcissitic-codependents. ☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil). Spread the word! Thank you. ___________ Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology. /End.
3:53 "Believing that people shouldn't lie or cheat or steal or betray is believing in a world that doesn't exist". This is incorrect. That world is the one we _already_ exist in. In fact, we have laws, religions, codes of conduct, societal & cultural expectations centering & surrounding the premise that we SHOULDN'T lie, cheat, betray, etc, etc. Now, believing that people DON'T or WON'T lie, cheat, betray, etc is indeed a world that doesn't exist. That said, throughout human history and across all human societies, operating with the understanding that people SHOULDN'T lie, cheat, betray has been more conducive to civil conduct, civilization building, and productivity than believing "it's your fault for believing ('truths' that were revealed to be) lies".
As a 55 yr old man, I had an similar experience, on a first date, with a 51 yr old woman last year. She was divorced from her husband of 20 years ( she had three children with him ), and the husband lived in the basement of their house since their divorce. When I asked why he lived in the basement, she replied, " he's gay and has no where else to go. ". I remember smiling and thinking she was a bit weird. Further questioning revealed that: they were best friends in high school, did a lot of girly things together, she proposed marriage, then discovered 20 years later that he loved going to church choir ( ... it was a gay choir, located on Church St. in Toronto, and part of the gay district ). I asked a few more questions until she interrupted me in a hasty tone, " stop wasting my time, do you want to go out or not ! "...to which I replied, " ...wasting your time ? ...you're the one who married a gay man. ". She stormed out of the Italian cáfe, and I ordered a dozen mixed cannoli's to go. She called me 8 times over the next three weeks. I never answered. What a waste of time....lol.
@@Hodebie97 Yes, a very entertaining story, but though I heard actual life stories of thousands of women, I never heard one similar. So don't generalize from one example - this woman was indeed a weird inividual. No offense intended. Not all can be "normal". Normal is the bulk of a Gauss-curve, but some people are in the extreme ends.
My aunt spent 10 year with a guy trying to get him to get married and have kids even though she knew from the first date he did not want that life. She's "lesbian" now .... lmao!
I've never really thought about it from that perspective. It was her decisions that led up to her being 30+ and alone. Nobody wasted her time, but her.
Yep. I don't understand why women don't just adopt the obvious strategy of "find a reliable, good man in your 20s and start a family with them." For the vast majority of women, that seems like the no-brainer way of having an easy path to a happy life.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq they cant accept truth. They were mislead. They were brainwashed to be masculine. Their job throughout history was pro creation and looking after the kids and the household meanwhile the men went out and worked
@@dr.jenniferma3914should he call them laborers? How about hustlers? Does that sound better? Semantics here. Do you understand the overarching message?
My ex hates the saying I learned in the military and used often in our marriage. "A failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."
[QUOTE] The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’). ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it. Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct). Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
s/o to Kevin Samuels. And for members of the coach gang: "it's all jermaine's fault. it's always jermaine's fault". And as Dr David Buss says, females do mate switch to better partners.
@@Human_01 The only narcissistic thing about your thesis is your incel attempt to villanise a whole GENDER for your romantic failures. Learn about attachment theory and get over it
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540maybe everyone at least tries to do that. There is just such a different and huge gap of opportunities through sex for women giving the illusion of choice and time... in the end it all ends for everyone and not brilliantly, full of passion and love. Real support and love is where we all fail, whether ladies think it's going to be easier for them to find someone, forever.
@@eladbari they say "i'm ready to settle down" but they have "girls nights" every week. they say "i'm saving for a house" but they're spending all their money on food and fashion. they say "i love you" but verbally abuse you when they're upset. not just relationships: they say "you're a valuable employee" but haven't given you a raise in three years... talk is cheap. show me the money!
[QUOTE] The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’). ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it. Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct). Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
📍 "ENXP cannot naturally differentiate between 'LUST' and 'love'. Their values is naturally different to that of INXJ. External influence is responsible for seeming deviation. ENXP view relationships like "food-samples". Like all sensor-feelers, ENXP have neurology for PROMISCUITY!" The MBTI compatibility chart is rigged by 'ENTP' and ENFP. The "manipulative" chart is tailored and authored by 'ENTP'! With their expansive "social" capabilities (and promiscuity), they are able to spread information and disinformation far and wide. ENTP are the archetypical clown/jester and they have the consciousness of one too. Most are unhealthy, matter of factly, and even with so-called "healthy" ENTP (lacking cluster-b) they are not naturally moral and their level of humanity is surprisingly low-they still have it; however it is initially low. Case in point, ENXP 'naturally' view romantic relationships and dating in a manner that is akin to "sampling food". ENXP and INXJ are NOT compatible!!!! Please understand that the [rampant spread of] MBTI chart is baseless (the smarter ones among them already know this-willful creatures, i.e. ENTP)! It's viral spread is nothing more than a 'global, generational trolling' and "ethical-rape". It's goal is large scaled attempt to violate other people's romantic-fate/experiences, while violating their instinctual romantic preference! MBTI compatibility chart has the psychological finger-print of ENTP. It aids the miserable romantic experience of INXJ; the clown's attempt to violate their fated destiny! ENTP are naturally unethical and promiscous. Cluster-B (add-on) furthers this. Look past the surface and you will realize that the MBTI chart is 'rigged' and tailored for ENTP (morality/humanity is not instinctual for them; healthy ones can understand it's value once seen, however it is not an instinct for the promiscous Jesters and archetypical-clowns [ENTP]). They've even screwed over most sensors, e.g. trying to "encourage" ESFP x ISTJ. *×Facepalm×* Any deviation is solely due to external influence (referring to ENxP neuro-psychology). ENxP are the archetypical thots/hoe of the intuitives. And sensor-feelers are 'naturally' promiscuous. Again, external factors are responsible for seeming deviations, e.g. parents influence, religion, INXJ instinctual moral influence. The MBTI compatibility chart was created to take advantage of the credibility of the MBTI; to exploit and violate other people's romantic choices and sexual experiences. It was designed to feed the degenerate and highly sexual 'ENTPs' and then ENFP. "Tell a lie loud enough and long enough and people will believe it." - Adolf Hitler The quote is likely the compounding inspiration for the collective ENTP's creating and spreading this generational lie and "ethical-rape" (violating INXJ's natural, instinctual romantic standards and requirements). Cluster-B [ENTP] is another contributing factor. In the end, a relationship between ENXP and INxJ ends at the introverts expense. While ENXP have the neurology for promiscuity (like sensor-feelers, ... And ESTP, to a surprisely lesser extent), INXJ risk so much more and they do suffer a miserable ["romance"] existence due to those types; their promiscous-neurology, and low levels of self-control. What's worse, is that most ENTP have cluster-B. They add to the miserable existence of INFJ (and INTJ, albeit to a lesser extent). INFJ instinctual/subconscious romantic standards is literally other [genuine] 'INFJ', and then ENFJ. The natural associate and partner for the ENTP and ENFP is 'ESFP' and ESTP. This is matter of fact. INXJ is only the ENXP's favourite "food"/'essence' to sample. PS: If nothing else, please investigate this (and you will find that it is true). You can expect the ENTP thot-network to attempt to hide the evidence. Please spread this information. It helps! The MBTI is rigged (and most ENTP have cluster-B). Willful, narcissitic and rapey clowns. P.P.S: Unhealthy-ENTPs likely manipulate and influence other sensor-feelers (ESFP; natural sexual accomplice to ENXP) into "ethically-grooming" their children for sexual promiscuity, resulting in Borderline personality disorder from the trauma. Sexually-degenerate as they are, sensor-feelers do not have the natural intelligence to pull off such an act or epidemic. Cultivating sexual degeneracy, and rigging the MBTI compatibility chart is the psychological finger-print of the ENTP (naturally hypersexual, and 'sociopathic' by nature; cluster-b, particularly NPD amplifies these tendencies). ENTP naturally view "sex" as a way to "enjoy someone". With cluster-B, they 'increasingly' experience other people as "toys"/objects to violate for their amusement and entertainment. Covert research and investigation will confirm all of this to be true.
FEMALE-ATTRACTION/ATTRACTION/ROMANTIC-ATTRACTION/FEMALE-PSYCHOLOGY/HOW-TO-ATTRACT-FEMALES/FEMALE-MANIPULATORS/MANIPULATE-FEMALES/FEMALE-DATING-FEMALES Answer: 1) 'Emotional Appeal'; how you make a female "feel" is the key to her everything. Give her 'emotional-thrills' via manipulation.
2) Physical Attraction; even this is connected to emotional appeal/attraction. Both points connect the strange stereotype between women "fucking" psychopaths, "bad-boys"; and ESTP/Chad, ENFP, etc. [I strongly believe that most women cannot differentiate between the sensation of "emotional-thrills" (including 'lust') and [genuine] "love"]. Love-definition. What is "love"? Answer: Excessive humanity for an individual. Since most women are emotionally immature (they are good at masking it; do not confuse the two), they are exceedingly susceptible to emotional manipulation/exploitation. Since society over-values and over protects the human female, the female can afford not to develop their sentience, intelligence, emotional residency and self-control. This makes them both unintelligent/narcissitic and emotionally-vulnerable. Of the MBTI, most females are "feelers" and unintelligent-feelers, i.e. "sensor-feelers" (population density), no less. They are more vulnerable to this realization/exploit, i.e. that physical attraction and emotional manipulation (via "thrills") is the key to attracting the female. NOTE: Most women monitor and prey on the emotions of a man. They attempt to corrode the emotional resiliency of a male child; thus making the male child susceptible to her "whining", narcissitic-complaints (self-serving and emotionally abusive [whims]); psychological manipulation via emotional abusing their sons will make them a dull, and disposable pawn (who exists solely to serve women and lay down their lives, as thought and conditioned via social norms). _
I married my college girlfriend when we were 22. I told her very explicitly that I didn’t want to have children and that I was never going to change my mind before we married, and she needed to decide if that was a deal breaker for her. She married me and practically from day 1 started trying to get me to change my mind. I think I wasted my time with her, as I was too naive at the time to know better. Fortunately, we were only married 3 years before she ran off with a doctor. I took it as a lesson learned. I don't know if she ever had children. I never spoke to her again after the split. Be honest and stick to your guns. 15 years later, my now second ex wife flipped the script on me and told me she wanted at least 1 child. I caved and we had 2 kids and a seemingly good marriage for 18 years before she decided without warning or explanation, she wanted a divorce. My take, she got what she wanted, the kids and free ride and now, I was expendable. Another very hard and I might add expensive lesson learned. I won't be marryng again, but at least, I do love my children, and had 18 happy years, so not a total waste. If I had it to do over, I wouldn't marry either one of them.
@T I thought I had matured and that having a kid would be good, and it was. It was the wife who was the mistake, but I didn't realize it until 20 yrs later. I do take responsibility for not being able to see her for what she is. I post this as a warning that you'll never know it was a mistake until it's too late.
The reason that women give why they don't want to date someone / want to break up with someone, is rarely the actual reason. Usually the real reason is "I don't think you're attractive enough" or "I feel bored, I'm too unimaginative to have fun by myself and you're not being exciting."
My ex told me after 3 months that she doesn't find me attractive anymore and that my life is monotonous, boring. But that she still wants to be with me because her needs are met. At least she was honest, or I think that she was. Well, she started to behave in a way that made me feel unwanted, it was hard for me so I left her a week later. Then she blamed me for leaving her because she was going through hard time and needed my support but it was her that lost attraction, not me. It hurt me that someone I love and really care for doesn't feel the same for me anymore so I just removed myself from a situation that I didn't understand (she was my first and only gf for now and I'm 25). It turns out that I was just her rebound or someone that she used to fulfil her needs after she broke up with her ex. And now that love glasses are off I see all the red flags that I didn't see at the start
[QUOTE] The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’). ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it. Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct). Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
Are you accusing women of lying about their reasons for leaving? How dare you (Greta Thunberg voice)!!! Seriously though, I love your line "I feel bored, I'M TOO UNIMAGINATIVE TO HAVE FUN BY MYSELF and you're not being exciting." Absolutely brilliant line. RIP to those millennial husbands in marriages.
Going through a painful separation and divorce process now at 42… the most painful thing was my wife and best friend for ten years, with whom I created my life’s best memories with and could never regret our experience together, looked me straight in the eye and declared “you wasted my time”.
Doesn't sound bad. Many people have gone through things like war where they got a limb blown off. Some retarded chick said you wasted some of her time. Grow up a little.
These are emotionally immature people. Just tell her I also wasted my time with you and thanks for not wasting it any longer. When she decides to leave there is no chance tell her and go and look for a new partner or do something you like and enjoy your life. Look for wimhof breathing on youtube which will help with your mental pain. You're going through hard time dude this is only what I can do.
38 year old woman here - never married, no children; spent my 20s completing college, raising my nephew (who now calls me mama). Spent my early 30s traveling a bit; had a midlife crisis at 35 due to some failed relationships (ignored my God given discernment 🙄) and I don’t think any of it was a waste of time. I’ve had to process some painful truths, but I’m thankful that I’ve been granted understanding and peace to just be content in whatever state that I am in: single or married, birthing children or not…
One key aspect you briefly touched on: Blaming others for wasting your time in relationships removes your responsibility to acknowledge mistakes and learn. A lot of people these days guarantee that they won't have good relationships because of the criteria they use to select partners, and then they absolve themselves of responsibility and do the exact same thing again.
Well by law, the person who wastes another person's time IS responsible. Imagine fraudulently getting people to invest in your BS company etc, and then saying, "I didn't waste your time. You just weren't discerning."
@@dr.jenniferma3914 when has someone been successfully prosecuted for fraud because they wasted other people's time? Investing money is not legally the same things as investing time.
My mother married when she was 19 Father put her through college, and her family paid for the wedding They had 52 years of marriage so far, and orbit each other like a binary star 💫 She got her masters, had a teaching career, and now he looks after her with a medical diagnosis.. the way a couple should, in sickness and in health I am one of 6 children from their committed love - the timeline is typical for the Boomer generation, (married after high school) but the results of boomer's selfishness, Gen X disillusion with changing social dynamics and now Millennials and GenZ trying to make their way without a stable cultural foundation is most consequential for society Selfishness is killing us @psychacks
You are not required to "take the argument seriously". She is leaving you. Telling you why is a mere courtesy at this point. Your only job is to deal with it.
women saying i don't wanna waste my time is a clear sign that you are seen by her as a provider type AKA beta. She doesn't mind risk losing you for demanding commitment when she's not even sure you are attracted enough. Women would never say this to guys she has genuine desire for, which is why they usually end up "wasting their time " with the hot guys AKA alphas. "Weird enough", women always manage to save their time with beta providers.
Thank you for the episode Putting pressure on a man to make a commitment is a HUGE problem for us especially in sexually conservative countries like egypt where the girl will use the phrase "my parents will get me engaged to another man if you don't propose" This is a red flag that i keep warning my friends about and honestly i think women should stop doing that
You are the red flag. Muslims should not be dating casual. The girls often get shamed for doing it, so please have some empathy. Do you want to marry a girl who has been pumped and dumped? Probably not. Call me a racist, a wh*re or evil, but I'm so tired of Muslim men thinking they can f*ck around and later on expect to marry a virgin. Wanting you cake and eat it too is pathetic
I think this video perfectly exposes women's true nature and the way they see relationships. Women want financial security (i.e. marriage) and kids. In order to get financial security (i.e. marriage) and kids they know that they have to unfortunately deal with a man. So, in their 30's, they starting threating "don't waste my time", i.e. give me financial security and kids, or I'm leaving. Sad but true.
True. To be honest you'll hear it at other times too though even when the biological clock isn't a factor. Frequently they'll say it after they've had kids and got divorced. Ie to new suitors. It's just a way to manipulate you into making an impulsive decision rather than consider the pros and cons of her as a partner. It's made to sound romantic-like they're throwing caution to the wind and are prepared to risk it all on taking a chance with you...but the reality is they've failed to monkey branch on divorce (or the monkey branch hasn't worked out). In those circumstances they get VERY keen to secure a new financial sponsor.
as another commenter said, "I would take the "don't waste my time" argument more seriously if she herself didn't already waste her peak fertility and beauty."
Women want financial security, kids and having an attractive partner. If she just wanted financial security and kids, women would be lining up to be with bob the boring accountant. But they're not, except maybe for one or two single moms who don't have a lot of better dating options left.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq they want it all. That's not the point. Its just as the clock runs out on youth, they prioritize the schlub with a 401k and dental plan. Sure, if they had their choice they'd pick a buff werewolf billionaire that is also a rockstar and CEO who likes kittens, but they'll settle for Kenny in sales.
The absolute worst part about all this is some guy that she gets with that she believes is not good enough it's destroyed twice because he didn't have much luck when he was younger now he's being used and manipulated just to be divorced after that in less than a decade
Congrats on 100k Dr. Taraban! I've been around since 5k subs and your videos have been instrumental in giving me much needed reality checks. I simply have a better state of mind in part thanks to you. Keep doing what you do.
Waste my time is such a common line from women that messed around their youth chasing "exciting" guys that never panned out nor were ever even realistic to begin with.
when faced with the statement, "don't waste my time," i usually respond with, "what have you done with your time before me?" it causes them to reflect on the poor choices they've made... but accountability is their kryptonite so it's a short inward look. the next response is: "your time isn't measured on my clock." iow, my trains runs at the speed at which I CHOOSE, and you're welcome to get off the train any time you wish to... nothing is holding you here. and from the prior video, "your departing gift will be my absence."
I think you are exactly right. You said it well, and clearly. I am certain that the women who really need to hear this will not. If they hear it, they will not accept it. Much easier to blame men and not change.
The volume of men on here blaming, criticising and pointing the finger at "women" in general, is remarkable. Most appear to have a lot of mommy issues, need therapy, want free sex and a good time. And to blame women who walk away from that. To quote so many men on here : "Grow up".
60 year old retired for 5, single for 3. After pulling myself together the initial 12 months the last 2 years have been incredible. Embracing a IDGAF lifestyle has freed me up to call out everything that smells like BS, especially when dealing with women. I tell them a hard NO is better than a soft YES if/when a potential get together is discussed. Gone are those "that sounds like a great idea let me check my schedule and get back to you." Women's phones are their lifelines and they will break every damn "appointment" if they find you interesting. When I hear that phrase I give THEM my number to call me with THEIR plans. No simping, pleading or texting them later only to get ghosted. As this good doctor stated; "Don't want to waste my time."
If someone deceives you it’s THEIR FAULT not yours and they wasted your time. When they mislead you, it took away your free will to decide if you wanted to waste your own time with accuracy information to make a decision
This is right on point.. dated a 30 year i was 45. She was immature, insecure but so cute.. . She woukd say i am wasting her time, however still continue to see me.. "I would tell her your wasting your OWN time" because of how she WOULD act. she never got it untill 3 years later and finally got tired of me 3 years later.. lol so i enjoyed her for 3 years and kept it moving. MEN KNOW THE OUT COME OF THE WOMEN YOU DATE. IT WILL HELP YOU EMOTIONALLY AND YOU WONT BE DEVASTATED WHEN IT ENDS.
It is dangerous to get into a relationship with a woman who is on a ticking biological clock. The problem is you won't have time to vet her correctly. It is always best to date a young woman who is not in any hurry for anything, if she likes you, it's most probable that she actually likes you, it isn't because she is under pressure to get someone to settle down with and you'd have a longer time to vet her, it is a more organic arrangement.
It takes years to vet a woman properly, you're best going for a woman in her early 20's. After the age of 25 they become more impatient, if you don't commit to her soon enough she will find another guy who will.
Or, skip all that and date older women from the jump. I started dating women in their 40s when I was in my early 20s. The biggest age difference I had was I was 22 and she was 44. It was great. She was in no hurry. She wasn't jealous. She had an established career (her own money). She already had kids; she did not force me into any kind of relationship with them, which made it easy to be around them; and she had logistics (babysitter, etc) figured out if we wanted a long weekend or a getaway. The sex was phenomenal. She cooked like a champ. She always found a way to make trips happen. I moved, but until I did it was great. Oh, and, she didn't get teary-eyed or angry when I did move. A deep kiss, a perfumed pair of her sexiest panties, and a care-package-to-go with home-baked goodies. I resolved that day that if i ever found another good woman that I would always treat her at least as well as I had treated this woman. To my absolute delight, I met a number of good women 40+ who took care of me and I took care of them. I've never been married, and I've dated (mmm, lemme count...) fewer than 10 women under the age of 40. All were a bad fit (maybe it was them, maybe it was me). Most were in a hurry. Most were selfish or oblivious. Most were struggling financially. Most couldn't keep commitments. Most sucked in bed. Most wouldn't articulate what they wanted (food, sex, time away, adventure, to get drunk, a financial strategy, ... it didn't matter). A few were straight up angry at life. Maybe things will change when I hit 60, but I don't understand the older guys who go for women 20 years younger. Course, at 60, 20 years would still put me circa 40y.o. women; hopefully society and culture don't ruin that age of mandatory independence and self-reliance.
There are US subcultures where this is still mostly the norm. It’s not terribly difficult to find in Utah and other places. Maybe learn to speak Spanish?
I appreciate this video. I recently ended up in a hookup situation where they were really concerned about "being used" and my take in the moment was "if you are concerned about that we shouldn't go forward with this." So with some reflection I came upon a similar conclusion to this video. I can't take responsibility for how they feel and I have to be true to myself and be honest. So "I am happy with what this moment is and hope it's a mutual experience" is really the feeling I would want to express. You don't end up in someone's hotel room randomly after all.
YEP women want relationships with the wrong men. So many silly women are confused. Give him sex like Orion screams. Do not give him sex like others scream. All the while we look at the man and think or ask will you like me afterwards. We are sexual beings too but shamed for wanting a relationship and sex
In the household I grep up in, all of the women were either professionals, retired professionals, or business partners with their husbands. They also had families. They "had it all", but they didn't "have it all at the same time!" Their path was college, then marriage and starting a family, and then returning to work for their career. This works. It's also derided as the "mommy track" by feminists.
A woman who has been to college is a red flag now a days. We all know what women get up to at college and so I won't consider a college graduate as anything more than catch and release.
@@chadcadsonvii5258Yeah college was intended to program young adults without their parents around. This is why they push "the college experience" propaganda. They basically imply that you're not complete without the experience of the college life.
@@susanhaines7358 College grads are ticking time bombs. They'll run off in search of self discovery 80+ percent of the time. That's not his problem unless he's married to one.
And in many cases actually wasting some men's time in their early years when they get into relationships with guy's who are intending to marry them but the girl's have every intention of trading up when they get a chance, I.e. they were never committed anyway. I've seen women in my younger years have a series of relationships, going from guy to guy, I.e. no real commitment and wasting their time. It seems that women are like that in their younger years and men might be more like that in their older years (when these women are ready to "settle down"). So those women who don't want to waste their time in their later years, are just experiencing a guy's world when he is younger.
@@thecurrentmoment Probably just a reflection of the party with less leverage being more eager to close the deal. But because women are more attractive in their 20's while men are more attractive in their 30's, women have the opportunity to waste their time first.
I recently ended a three year relationship. I am a 31 year old man with strong family values and intentions of giving my children the best possible start in life. My gf, after around 1.5 years, expressed a really strong conviction not to have children. I took the time to explore this and see if she would want children with me if given the right circumstances. We had a very good relationship so it was worth finding out. Anyway, in short, I felt that I was the one who "didn't want to waste further time on a relationship that wasnt leading to children" because as a man i dont want to be an old father and i want my children to know their grandparents. Anyway, there are reasons why men may feel this same way about time wasting if they are serious about family... We just fortunately have much more time to play with (but dont get complacent!!)
Man... wish you around when I was in my 20's. I have been listening all day. My eyes have been open. A shame I am now 53... it's never too late. Thank you, Doctor.
Some great points in this video-I love the bits about how nobody can waste your time without your consent, moral indignation is wasted energy, and we shouldn't expect the world to be other than it is. However, despite every good point you made, it doesn't change the fact that if a woman wants a relationship with marriage potential, that's still a 100% valid desire for her to come to the dating marketplace with. We all value what we value, and if that's what she values at this time in her life, that's as valid as anything else. I'd agree that the onus is on her to discern with whom there is actual marriage potential, and I'd agree that no man should marry her out of guilt... But if, for example, she chooses to screen heavily for his intentions on the first date, or eventually give him an ultimatum to "sh*t or get off the pot," that's all fair game IMO. It may be poor strategy to apply so much pressure (i.e. it may be ineffective), but she's well within her rights to know what she wants and prioritize it-even if she wanted something else when she was younger. Also, you made an argument that a relationship shouldn't be viewed as wasted time if it ends before marriage-and I share that perspective-but really it's an entirely subjective point. If a woman really wants to get married and that's her main objective, then by that criteria, any relationship that doesn't lead to marriage IS a failure. So, it's a value judgment, maybe questionable, but ultimately not for anyone else to say but her.
This reminds me of the saying that women can understand men but men cannot understand women. It is a vital skill for women to be able to read men and know their intentions. If they say that you are wasting their time, then they imply that they are lacking in this department.
Dr Orion once again brilliantly exposed a manipulation! The same with getting offended. A person cannot offend someone unless that other person is ready to accept the offence. Self-disrespect is at the core 100%! “Her failure to plan is not your responsibility. Her decisions have brought her there” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 this phrase basically can be applied to any human being in any situation. But people have difficulties understanding they are creating their reality, not others.
She didn't say "I don't want you to waste my time", she said, "I don't want to waste my time", showing that she already knows the first point. Letting potential suitors know that she wants to move quickly or not at all helps everyone, and shows that she already knows the last point.
Wait until they get to their 40’s and still have the delusion that they’re somehow the prize with kids from multiple men and debt. They want a man but don’t have the time or space for one and still think they’re a catch. Nonsense.
Just because you bear some responsibility for it, doesn't mean people can't waste your time. Either way it's just a part of life and a learning experience. The older you get the more this idea gains importance.
The lesson I've learned is that most problems can only be solved in a timely manner by spending time. You spend anything else, and it will cost that and more time to clean up the mess you made tripping yourself. The single most valuable resource you have is also the one you probably have the most of, which is time.
If she shows up, you are not wasting her time. The question should be not whether you are wasting her time, the question you should ask yourself is whether you are wasting your time with her. You don't owe anyone anything in the short term, and, in the long term and other than blood relatives, you don't owe anyone much that doesn't also benefit you. Having said that, it's probably not in your own interest to lie to people. It's just too much work.
No one is lying. The women put the pressure & demand for marriage & kids before they have convinced the man that she will be a good wife. They do this due to their own greed & selfishness. They don't care about the man. They only care about themselves & their life targets.
Wow, these women spend their 20’s partying and sleeping around and then all of a sudden they’re frantically trying to find a man to rush him to have children with. They wasted their own time !!!
Usually when a woman says “I don’t want to waste my time” it’s a huge turn off/red flag to me because it tells me that she’s not going to value the development of the relationship on its own terms but only insofar as it tends towards some predetermined end. The “getting to know you” stuff that’s so important has no intrinsic value for her; it’s just a phase to rush through on her way to somewhere else.
I was explaining this to my mom. Her friend had a baby with a cop that killed one of his other baby mothers and tried to kill her daughter as well. My mom says the man is a liar and psychotic which is true but doesn't think the woman is at fault for getting involved with a psycho and believing everything he said.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq In what kind of company do you find yourself? I've only once met a person, a student in adult school who had turned his life around, to be a better father, but had been an addict and a small dealer. I was a teacher there. Otherwise it is not normal to know drugdealers and similar. Narcissists and other faul players who can deceive young women (and older, too) are represented everywhere, but their talent is to hide their unreliability. Women in general do look for good men.
Another problem I've noticed would be that these women tend to want marriage a bit too quickly and readily available, like ordering a pizza, but then bitching because they didn't get their favorite sauce when they never mentioned it. Long lasting relationships take time to nurture and develop whilst getting to know each other. You can't just spend 6 months to a year together and already expect marriage out of thin air.
The " I don't want to waste my time." Sentence isn't even saying " you are wasting my time."... Considering that the man generally leads the relationship as a good captain and appreciating the communication of the woman's letting it be known what she is looking for, I personally admire, respect and appreciate it when a woman says "I just don't want to waste my time." She is communicating what she is looking for and she is not shifting responsibility by saying it. Furthermore, the sentence isn't even "You are wasting my time." But he responded to it as if it was for minutes into the video... If commitment isn't likely in the mans intent with her and commitment is what she is looking for, exactly how is she supposed to communicate what she is looking for?
Wow, for many years I thought I was crazy for I thought just like Dr. Orion articulated all this idea. I sure did not have better words on how to phrase the thought to others for I was so afraid to be hurshly judged and misunderstood. I think Dr. Orion is a smart man and I love your thoughts. Thanks man
Its the equivalent of a stripper in a club chatting with you and then asking if you want a lap dance. If you say no, she'll usually tell you she can't waste anymore time chatting and trawl for a new mark. Men need to get it through their thick heads, women are not about love and romance. They are about money and getting resources. They view men as props on their movie set. If you're thirsty do you care what type of cup the water is in? No, women view men and money the same way. As far as kids, they're an extension of narcissism and ego and also another way to secure income, via the father or government subsidies.
Mo, it is blatantly obvious to me the type of women who have dealt with in your life Maybe you should get with a woman who is not like you describe. Doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity!
At 5 minutes in, I'm thinking about the line from "As good as it gets", when Nicholson's character explains on how he writes women. "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."
Pure projection, from men out for free sex and to take from women, out to subconsciously punish their mothers. Plain old simple madonna/whore complex. Where are the men above taking accountability for their negativity and experiences with women? These men are all, individually, the common thread in their dating and relationship lives!
There is a trail in the woods it splits. One party self indulgent lifestyle. Other path marriage and a average life. You cannot have both. If you are a woman. If you are a man figure out what path a woman has chosen for herself and act accordingly.
#2: this attitude is *monstrous* .. and should be closely examined!! Reminds me a Latina I dated in the 2000s. When we broke up, she returned *every* gift I bought her, via the USPS in a shipping box..
On one level, I agree. I often remind myself that need (mine or someone else's) does NOT beget obligation (despite the pressure from society to act as if it does). On another level, fraud/deceit is wrong, and while good discernment is prudent, failure to have good discernment doesn't make you culpable for the sins of another (although you are still responsible for how you choose to move forward once you discover the deception). Trust isn't a bad thing. It's the foundation on which most good things are built. Unfortunately, it can also be abused, and it's prudent to be aware of that and careful to mitigate that risk.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Most women who made it to their 30s for example have entertained and had relationships with quite a few men. It's not like she's been in a relationship with a guy for 12 years and the last minute he bailed from marriage and kids, and they got blindsided.
@@mrdouche9172 How do you know this? It may be true for less career-successful women, but not for classier more educated women who have to work super hard at their jobs. Don't you guys get tired of stereotyping? here's a thought, we're actually unique and individual beings.
‘I don’t want to waste my time’ simply sounds like her explaining to him why she isn’t going to carry on in a relationship with him - she wants to find someone to have children with instead. Which is fair enough, really.
When they extort you for money via marriage and kids - hand it over or I’m leaving - tell them to leave - there’s always another, typically younger and hotter.
Nail hit firmly on head from 6:16. If I heard a lady in her early 20s voice concerns about time wasting, I’d really respect that. But it’s always from the lips of 30-somethings who’ve waisted their 20s on work…. oh, sorry, on “career”. Or worse, women who have waisted their time becoming a single mother with a man they later decided didn’t meet her requirements.
These topics are great. I am continually shocked at how i am continually psy-oped by women simply because i assume that women take responsibility for themselves. Once you realize that most women never take responsibility for anything they do, and don't even think it is important to try to take responsibility, then it makes it a lot easier to understand what is going on.
Lots of truth in this. I just ended a relationship with a woman that made me acutely aware of the passage of time. Her anxiety around time put undue pressure and stress on the relationship and led to its demise. Of course, she called me a time waster.
Totalllllllly agree. Nobody can waste your time, only you. If you make it clear you are dating because you are looking for life partner and the relationship is not moving towards that direction in a reasonable time, BREAK UP ASAP. This is where women make their first mistake: not saying their intentions because they don’t want to scare men off and then they keep going hoping that one day because they are so special he just has to marry them. Ideally you want to scare of all the guys who are not looking for a life partner. Yes, some will lie just to keep things going but that’s not majority and eventually the lie will be found out because men dating for a purpose behave very differently from those not dating with a purpose. I’m also against pressuring a guy to marry you because weak men will just marry you out of attachment not really because they want to. I’ve not met one single happy couple where the man/woman was ‘directed’ into marriage. Usually both were looking for a life partner already and then they found someone suitable.
As a stoic I have to disagree with you. The last woman I dated was in her late 20s, I am 48. When she brought up marriage I immediately stated that that was not something I was interested in, as I have already had my children and didnt not feel I could be a decent father at my age doing it all again. I also told her that if that is something she wanted I would stop seeing her so I wouldnt waste the time she had left. When she insisted that she wanted to marry I ended the relationship. One of the biggest problems is that men and women do not date with purpose. And I have see both men and women lied to by their partners, sometimes convincingly so, because the other just didnt want to be alone. That is not the persons fault. Most people struggle with the sunk cost fallacy. And this is at the core of what this is about. You may not have intended it, but your position is people should trust less. It should, instead, be people should act more trustworthy. Our society is bereft of trust. Or perhaps thats just my perspective on what you have said. A better man than me said, "A man who has virtue, is in need of nothing whatever for the purpose of living well."
Expecting people to be more trustworthy is again putting your life in someone else's hands and losing agency over yours. Trusting less makes you more objective in analysing whether the situation is really what it seems, and also knowing that only you have your best interest at heart. What do I want vi's a vi's what do they really want. Sunk cost fallacy: Yeah, I agree. Quitting while you're ahead and quitting is not the same thing.
@@balladbuster5109 no, you are projecting onto my statement something that is not there. I am not of the mind that one should trust blindly, nor did I state that. Trust is of course earned. But what I stated was that people should endeavor to be more trustworthy. Most people lie when it is convenient for them and then cry when others do that to them. That is why living a virtuous life is its own reward.
Getting someone’s feedback on External Responsibility is one surefire way to see the true nature of a person. I was telling people that they have to be 100% intentional and responsible for the outcome they want in dating, as dating today gives zero incentive to doing the right thing. They strongly pushed back on it
She has had many relationships in her life. See this is exactly why you shouldn't date women over 27. Because the less relationships, the less baggage. Or else you'll be in therapy with them. Once a woman hits a certain amount of relationships. Microchimerism prevents pair bonding and you have zero chance to undo any of the pain she has. You'll always be separate from her because who she is. Is wrapped up in her success of processing her issues.
That may have been a great strategy two decades ago, but have you actually interacted with say a 22 year old woman recently? She probably has a tiktok like attention span, she probably has bought into all the left-wing talking points and she probably has had a ton of sexual partners already. She's also probably anxious or stressed out due to news telling her to be scared of everything, plus the covid situation and the stress of being a young woman in 2023 may very well have wrecked her emotional health.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq You're acting like older women aren't posting their butts on instagram and don't have tiktoks. I mean c'mon you see many unmarried middle aged women shaking their behinds in nightclubs these days and being stuck on their phone all day. Just like the younger ones.
I met my wife when she was 22, we’re still together. My son is 18 and I told him NEVER go out with a woman over 23-24 (24 being immediate red flag requiring an interrogation). He should never feel pressure & I told him he can date 18-23 year olds until he’s early 30s easy. 25+ is ‘black flag’ today. Undatable for marriage, funtime only
The reality is that she can mother a child for only a limited number of years. Men, in most cases, have the physical ability to father a child until their mind goes or they die. If the tables were turned, men would also feel the biological clock ticking and behave accordingly. That’s just human nature: When there’s a limited offer, people hustle.
What you saying (and others channels have said) makes me think arranged marriages are the way to go. What i'm seeing is by time both sexes want to get married is then too late. The best time to get married (when young) is also the time when the desire isn't there. There ought be a process for both individuals of constant vetting for marriage partners even before they're born.
Before I went MGTOW, a common refrain I heard was "take some accountability for the partners you pick". Interesting to see the "REEEEE!" that results from women receiving a variation of the same message.
I've adopted this as a response to stories of horrific boyfriends and the amount of hate I get for "siding with the abuser" is insane. I'm like "all I asked is why she keeps dating him?"
@@dr.jenniferma3914 I keep getting "You just don't understand" like it's some kind of thing I should understand. Yes, I get it, the guy is hot and you stopped thinking months ago, but that doesn't mean you aren't responsible for the choices you make today with the information you have.
Oh wow Dr. Taraban quite blunt ideas you expressed here but valid non the less! We need to reevaluate the blueprint we have been sold all around for both men and women.
My observation is most men and women exist in overlapping parallel realities, the biggest obstacle being most women do not get the reason a man is interested in her is primarily sexual. This needs to be understood to get even close to being in the same objective reality.
From my experience, I’ve seen women use this phrase in a different context. They use it as an appeal to entertainment. They expect the man to be their entertainer and if you are not fulfilling her extremely high demands to make sure she isn’t bored, she considers the man a waste of time and will move on to someone more exciting. It’s another form of women thinking that the initial spark of a relationship lasts forever.
Dont play by her rules. You do what you like. If you want to commit, commit. If you don't, dont. Dont let her mistakes pressure you into a decision you dont want to take. She plays by her rules, and face her own consequences. You play by yours and face yours. DON'T take the burden of the other's consequences.
Yes, people CAN waste your time without your consent by……….lying!!!!!! Lying about themselves, their intentions, their beliefs, their feelings, etc. They take away your choice to participate by pretending to be in alignment with you.
Pick any truth - and you'll see how many forces try to debunk/ shame/ ridicule/ silence it, because if people will wake up to this truth - then a major change will happen and others at the end of that truth (1%-ers usually)- will seriously lose so much money from you waking up. This applies to Relationships, Ph4rma, etc. Hiding the truth can maintain the modern sl4very. Knowing the truth in the masses could free us from it, and there are tremendous efforts being put to gaslight us all. And to keep a certain mindset in society on low flames (like telling vvomen they are victims and"toxic" m3n cause all of that. Classic divide & conquer). In regards to why Orion makes it sound so much better is that shaming tactics don't work on such a classy guy with diplomas. Yet, it's easy to shame/ ridicule the same exact truths if they're told by a muscular everyday joe that has a channel on youtube. Ed hominem claims do not work on Orion. 👌
I've determined that although I appreciate some of his videos, he's quick to pander to the red pill community. The red pill community has been devoid of actual psychologists and he's found his market. Let's give the bro science someone to quote.
its really hard not benefiting from taking agency!! if ur open enough to it u can almost always take away something form it. "its always my fault" leads to great lessons, and i love it.
I have an aunt who married young, had seven children, went back to school (with maturity as her superpower), got a PhD, led science teams all over the world for 30 years, and retired to enjoy time with her grandkids. In my many visits with her, it was always abundantly clear that she was 100% responsible for her time.
From what I've seen this is another way of expressing the desire to have children and the fact that time is running out, usually after quite a few bad experiences/ failed long term relationships. That's a legit concern and if that man in his 30s thinks he might want to start a family with her it's his concern too (unless he wants to be changing diapers in his 40s or face increasing pregnancy risks). Not to say that it should be an excuse for bad decisions but it shouldn't be dismissed either.
If you've dated women, at some point in your life you've probably heard her say the phrase: "I don't want to waste my time." The idea here is that the woman is challenging the relationship on the basis that she is not getting enough of what she wants, when she wants it. Furthermore, men who do not provide value on women's timelines are considered "time-wasters," and become the target of a good deal of social vitriol. In this episode, I share a few of my hot takes on this phrase -- and the attitude behind it.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#dating #women #psychology
so what's she's saying is she's getting somthing out of the relationship but she wants more
the man has to change
pick someone els who's has that
i want to date you
i want a relationship with you
i want kids with you
i want to marry you
those are all different things
I think this is one of the most valuable videos you’ve ever made, and the information contained herein is something women can’t hear often enough.
MY-PHILOSOPHY:"INNER-STRENGTH"
I have found that simply "loving myself" (inner-child) is a powerful tool against most types of social-dependency/vulnerability.
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"Evil" is the antithesis to the virtue: 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-darwinism'.
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NEURO-PERSONALITY
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"SENSORY-FEELERS" ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPREADING DISINFORMATION AND HATE TOWARDS ENTJ/INTJ (AGAINST "THINKERS" IN GENERAL)-BOTH IRL AND ON THE INTERNET; DESPITE THOSE NEURO-PERSONALITY TYPES BEING A BLESSING TO SOCIETY AND ALL OF MANKIND! THEY DESERVE BETTER! 😤
'ESFJ', 'ESFP', ISFP and 'ISFJ' are a pathogen to humanity, and 'then' Cluster-B (depending on their neuro-personality).
THEIR "FEELINGS 'IS' THEIR REALITY", THEY ALSO HAVE A MALICIOUS-MIND BY DEFAULT (low 'mirror-neurons' results in "SOCIOPATHIC-FEELER"; full of pathological hate, and highly chaotic).
WHAT'S MORE, DESPITE HAVING MALICIOUS INTENT THEY ARE ALL EMOTIONALLY-WEAK AND PRONE TO COVERT/VULNERABLE-NARCISSISM (ISFJ especially; they impersonate and spread hate towards genuine INFJs).
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Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissist'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-r@pe, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim/damsel in distress, creating "flying-monkeys", and 'bribing' others (with money or BJ) to attack, or at times, kill someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
xSFP and ISFJ (2W1) are the most complicit, narcissistic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependents' (look up the definition). Like ESFJ, XSFP's "feelings 'is' their reality." Most are covert/vulnerable-narcissists.
ISFJ often perceive things only on the surface level (even by sensor standards), are suckers for a “pretty face", and their neuro-psychology makes them the ideal narcissitic-codependent and pawn to the ESFJ (blind-loyalty, surface level perception, susceptibility to covert-narcissism).
Lastly, ISFJ are notorious for impersonating other people's identities IRL and on the internet; while ESFJ-9W1 superficially appears like an ENFJ, they have different 'neurology' and psychology. Both XSFJ are superficial by nature and perceive reality at face-value/surface level.
SUMMARY
Evil personality: 'ESFJ' (ALL), ESTJ (Cluster-b), ISFJ-2W1 (covert-narc/enabler). ESFJ-9W1 superficially resembles ENFJ; different 'neurology' and psychology.
[Secretly] Evil and narcissist-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL), and ISFJ (2W1 enable ESFJ). Narcissitic-codependents.
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict as a distraction (at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___________
Research ref: Raudha Athif, Ghislaine Maxwell, Marilyn Monroe, Karen, ESFJ-narcissists, ESFJ-neurology, Gaslighting, Amber Heard, Fake feminism, Rising of a shield hero (Malty-'ESFJ'; XSFX spread disinformation online. ISFJ is the main culprit, i.e. ISFJ largely perceive things on the surface level, and with malicious intent ISFJ impersonate others). Please research 'Brood-parasitism’- XSFJ natural psychology.
/End.
3:53 "Believing that people shouldn't lie or cheat or steal or betray is believing in a world that doesn't exist". This is incorrect. That world is the one we _already_ exist in. In fact, we have laws, religions, codes of conduct, societal & cultural expectations centering & surrounding the premise that we SHOULDN'T lie, cheat, betray, etc, etc. Now, believing that people DON'T or WON'T lie, cheat, betray, etc is indeed a world that doesn't exist. That said, throughout human history and across all human societies, operating with the understanding that people SHOULDN'T lie, cheat, betray has been more conducive to civil conduct, civilization building, and productivity than believing "it's your fault for believing ('truths' that were revealed to be) lies".
As a 55 yr old man, I had an similar experience, on a first date, with a 51 yr old woman last year. She was divorced from her husband of 20 years ( she had three children with him ), and the husband lived in the basement of their house since their divorce. When I asked why he lived in the basement, she replied, " he's gay and has no where else to go. ". I remember smiling and thinking she was a bit weird. Further questioning revealed that: they were best friends in high school, did a lot of girly things together, she proposed marriage, then discovered 20 years later that he loved going to church choir ( ... it was a gay choir, located on Church St. in Toronto, and part of the gay district ). I asked a few more questions until she interrupted me in a hasty tone, " stop wasting my time, do you want to go out or not ! "...to which I replied, " ...wasting your time ? ...you're the one who married a gay man. ".
She stormed out of the Italian cáfe, and I ordered a dozen mixed cannoli's to go. She called me 8 times over the next three weeks. I never answered.
What a waste of time....lol.
🔥🔥
Good job!
Nice story actually 😂
@@Hodebie97 Yes, a very entertaining story, but though I heard actual life stories of thousands of women, I never heard one similar. So don't generalize from one example - this woman was indeed a weird inividual. No offense intended. Not all can be "normal". Normal is the bulk of a Gauss-curve, but some people are in the extreme ends.
@@DNA350ppm Your reply to Christian B. and reprimanding him about over generalisating has no relevance to his comment.
My aunt spent 10 year with a guy trying to get him to get married and have kids even though she knew from the first date he did not want that life. She's "lesbian" now .... lmao!
I've never really thought about it from that perspective. It was her decisions that led up to her being 30+ and alone. Nobody wasted her time, but her.
Yep. I don't understand why women don't just adopt the obvious strategy of "find a reliable, good man in your 20s and start a family with them." For the vast majority of women, that seems like the no-brainer way of having an easy path to a happy life.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq they cant accept truth. They were mislead. They were brainwashed to be masculine. Their job throughout history was pro creation and looking after the kids and the household meanwhile the men went out and worked
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq women want excitement in their 20's. "Girls just wanna have fun".
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 In other words"to have it all"in the end it is constant fantasy that often destroys potential.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq Cuz the s!sterhood will verbally @buse them for avoiding h00k-up culture, and "being a sl@ve to *the man!!*"
“If they feel like they’re missing out, they can always be employees in their thirties.”
This was awesome.
I thought that was his weirdest, cringiest comment. What the hell is he on about? And he's denigrating by making them "employees"
@@dr.jenniferma3914 Uh .. unless you are an entrepreneur / business owner, we are *all* "employees!
@@dr.jenniferma3914should he call them laborers? How about hustlers? Does that sound better? Semantics here. Do you understand the overarching message?
@@dr.jenniferma3914I think most would say after being both…being a mother is more fulfilling than being an employee
@@MyFootYourFace I understand and disagree.
My ex hates the saying I learned in the military and used often in our marriage. "A failure to plan on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."
Dayummmmmmmm!
I'm stealing this
Never commit to someone with a life-time of failure. Accountability is _their_ kryptonite.
[QUOTE]
The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’).
ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it.
Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct).
Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
s/o to Kevin Samuels. And for members of the coach gang: "it's all jermaine's fault. it's always jermaine's fault". And as Dr David Buss says, females do mate switch to better partners.
@@Human_01 The only narcissistic thing about your thesis is your incel attempt to villanise a whole GENDER for your romantic failures. Learn about attachment theory and get over it
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540maybe everyone at least tries to do that. There is just such a different and huge gap of opportunities through sex for women giving the illusion of choice and time... in the end it all ends for everyone and not brilliantly, full of passion and love. Real support and love is where we all fail, whether ladies think it's going to be easier for them to find someone, forever.
@@Human_01i really hope no one read that crap
if you don't want to be lied to, stop listening to what they're saying and start looking at what they're doing. i always say, don't tell me, show me!
Put what you just said into 2 real life examples from a relationship. I don't understand what it means to say "show me" to an argumentive vvoman
@@eladbari they say "i'm ready to settle down" but they have "girls nights" every week. they say "i'm saving for a house" but they're spending all their money on food and fashion. they say "i love you" but verbally abuse you when they're upset. not just relationships: they say "you're a valuable employee" but haven't given you a raise in three years... talk is cheap. show me the money!
[QUOTE]
The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’).
ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it.
Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct).
Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
📍
"ENXP cannot naturally differentiate between 'LUST' and 'love'. Their values is naturally different to that of INXJ. External influence is responsible for seeming deviation. ENXP view relationships like "food-samples". Like all sensor-feelers, ENXP have neurology for PROMISCUITY!"
The MBTI compatibility chart is rigged by 'ENTP' and ENFP. The "manipulative" chart is tailored and authored by 'ENTP'! With their expansive "social" capabilities (and promiscuity), they are able to spread information and disinformation far and wide. ENTP are the archetypical clown/jester and they have the consciousness of one too.
Most are unhealthy, matter of factly, and even with so-called "healthy" ENTP (lacking cluster-b) they are not naturally moral and their level of humanity is surprisingly low-they still have it; however it is initially low. Case in point, ENXP 'naturally' view romantic relationships and dating in a manner that is akin to "sampling food". ENXP and INXJ are NOT compatible!!!! Please understand that the [rampant spread of] MBTI chart is baseless (the smarter ones among them already know this-willful creatures, i.e. ENTP)! It's viral spread is nothing more than a 'global, generational trolling' and "ethical-rape". It's goal is large scaled attempt to violate other people's romantic-fate/experiences, while violating their instinctual romantic preference! MBTI compatibility chart has the psychological finger-print of ENTP. It aids the miserable romantic experience of INXJ; the clown's attempt to violate their fated destiny! ENTP are naturally unethical and promiscous. Cluster-B (add-on) furthers this.
Look past the surface and you will realize that the MBTI chart is 'rigged' and tailored for ENTP (morality/humanity is not instinctual for them; healthy ones can understand it's value once seen, however it is not an instinct for the promiscous Jesters and archetypical-clowns [ENTP]). They've even screwed over most sensors, e.g. trying to "encourage" ESFP x ISTJ. *×Facepalm×*
Any deviation is solely due to external influence (referring to ENxP neuro-psychology). ENxP are the archetypical thots/hoe of the intuitives. And sensor-feelers are 'naturally' promiscuous. Again, external factors are responsible for seeming deviations, e.g. parents influence, religion, INXJ instinctual moral influence. The MBTI compatibility chart was created to take advantage of the credibility of the MBTI; to exploit and violate other people's romantic choices and sexual experiences. It was designed to feed the degenerate and highly sexual 'ENTPs' and then ENFP.
"Tell a lie loud enough and long enough and people will believe it."
- Adolf Hitler
The quote is likely the compounding inspiration for the collective ENTP's creating and spreading this generational lie and "ethical-rape" (violating INXJ's natural, instinctual romantic standards and requirements). Cluster-B [ENTP] is another contributing factor.
In the end, a relationship between ENXP and INxJ ends at the introverts expense. While ENXP have the neurology for promiscuity (like sensor-feelers, ... And ESTP, to a surprisely lesser extent), INXJ risk so much more and they do suffer a miserable ["romance"] existence due to those types; their promiscous-neurology, and low levels of self-control. What's worse, is that most ENTP have cluster-B. They add to the miserable existence of INFJ (and INTJ, albeit to a lesser extent). INFJ instinctual/subconscious romantic standards is literally other [genuine] 'INFJ', and then ENFJ.
The natural associate and partner for the ENTP and ENFP is 'ESFP' and ESTP. This is matter of fact. INXJ is only the ENXP's favourite "food"/'essence' to sample.
PS: If nothing else, please investigate this (and you will find that it is true). You can expect the ENTP thot-network to attempt to hide the evidence. Please spread this information. It helps! The MBTI is rigged (and most ENTP have cluster-B).
Willful, narcissitic and rapey clowns.
P.P.S: Unhealthy-ENTPs likely manipulate and influence other sensor-feelers (ESFP; natural sexual accomplice to ENXP) into "ethically-grooming" their children for sexual promiscuity, resulting in Borderline personality disorder from the trauma.
Sexually-degenerate as they are, sensor-feelers do not have the natural intelligence to pull off such an act or epidemic. Cultivating sexual degeneracy, and rigging the MBTI compatibility chart is the psychological finger-print of the ENTP (naturally hypersexual, and 'sociopathic' by nature; cluster-b, particularly NPD amplifies these tendencies).
ENTP naturally view "sex" as a way to "enjoy someone". With cluster-B, they 'increasingly' experience other people as "toys"/objects to violate for their amusement and entertainment.
Covert research and investigation will confirm all of this to be true.
FEMALE-ATTRACTION/ATTRACTION/ROMANTIC-ATTRACTION/FEMALE-PSYCHOLOGY/HOW-TO-ATTRACT-FEMALES/FEMALE-MANIPULATORS/MANIPULATE-FEMALES/FEMALE-DATING-FEMALES
Answer:
1) 'Emotional Appeal'; how you make a female "feel" is the key to her everything. Give her 'emotional-thrills' via manipulation.
2) Physical Attraction; even this is connected to emotional appeal/attraction. Both points connect the strange stereotype between women "fucking" psychopaths, "bad-boys"; and ESTP/Chad, ENFP, etc.
[I strongly believe that most women cannot differentiate between the sensation of "emotional-thrills" (including 'lust') and [genuine] "love"].
Love-definition. What is "love"? Answer: Excessive humanity for an individual.
Since most women are emotionally immature (they are good at masking it; do not confuse the two), they are exceedingly susceptible to emotional manipulation/exploitation.
Since society over-values and over protects the human female, the female can afford not to develop their sentience, intelligence, emotional residency and self-control. This makes them both unintelligent/narcissitic and emotionally-vulnerable.
Of the MBTI, most females are "feelers" and unintelligent-feelers, i.e. "sensor-feelers" (population density), no less. They are more vulnerable to this realization/exploit, i.e. that physical attraction and emotional manipulation (via "thrills") is the key to attracting the female.
NOTE: Most women monitor and prey on the emotions of a man. They attempt to corrode the emotional resiliency of a male child; thus making the male child susceptible to her "whining", narcissitic-complaints (self-serving and emotionally abusive [whims]); psychological manipulation via emotional abusing their sons will make them a dull, and disposable pawn (who exists solely to serve women and lay down their lives, as thought and conditioned via social norms).
_
The saying goes; "Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my behalf."
Stewie griffin lol
I married my college girlfriend when we were 22. I told her very explicitly that I didn’t want to have children and that I was never going to change my mind before we married, and she needed to decide if that was a deal breaker for her. She married me and practically from day 1 started trying to get me to change my mind. I think I wasted my time with her, as I was too naive at the time to know better. Fortunately, we were only married 3 years before she ran off with a doctor. I took it as a lesson learned. I don't know if she ever had children. I never spoke to her again after the split. Be honest and stick to your guns. 15 years later, my now second ex wife flipped the script on me and told me she wanted at least 1 child. I caved and we had 2 kids and a seemingly good marriage for 18 years before she decided without warning or explanation, she wanted a divorce. My take, she got what she wanted, the kids and free ride and now, I was expendable. Another very hard and I might add expensive lesson learned. I won't be marryng again, but at least, I do love my children, and had 18 happy years, so not a total waste. If I had it to do over, I wouldn't marry either one of them.
Damn that's rough.
Why would you marry two women who told you they wanted kids.. I mean my god. Take some responsibility for your life choices.
@T I thought I had matured and that having a kid would be good, and it was. It was the wife who was the mistake, but I didn't realize it until 20 yrs later. I do take responsibility for not being able to see her for what she is. I post this as a warning that you'll never know it was a mistake until it's too late.
It was a good ending. Nothing beats having kids.
@@0b3ryn29 Not having kids beats it.
The reason that women give why they don't want to date someone / want to break up with someone, is rarely the actual reason. Usually the real reason is "I don't think you're attractive enough" or "I feel bored, I'm too unimaginative to have fun by myself and you're not being exciting."
That’s almost exactly what I said.
My ex told me after 3 months that she doesn't find me attractive anymore and that my life is monotonous, boring. But that she still wants to be with me because her needs are met. At least she was honest, or I think that she was. Well, she started to behave in a way that made me feel unwanted, it was hard for me so I left her a week later. Then she blamed me for leaving her because she was going through hard time and needed my support but it was her that lost attraction, not me. It hurt me that someone I love and really care for doesn't feel the same for me anymore so I just removed myself from a situation that I didn't understand (she was my first and only gf for now and I'm 25). It turns out that I was just her rebound or someone that she used to fulfil her needs after she broke up with her ex. And now that love glasses are off I see all the red flags that I didn't see at the start
[QUOTE]
The poster is correct. Female are inherently narcissitic in their neuro-psychology. This is for evolutionary reasons. Like is attracted to like; as they see themselves in each other. And like narcissits, they are disgusted by humans with excessive humanity and care little for them (the extent they do is shallow as any truthful woman will attest to and 'feel’).
ENFJ-females among many other narcissist-craving and loving “feelers" will often lose their virginity to narcissits. This is essentially a 'life-cycle’ for most females. How the narcissits makes the mentally undeveloped and narcissist woman feel is what draws and compels her mind, heart and 'clit’ to it.
Consider your highschool experience for example; such occasions are cliche-i.e. essentially a 'life-cycle’ for females who often narcissitically believe their clit to be irresistible. Later in life, after “swallowing" and absorbing the narcissists/cluster-B sexual essence and narcissitic abuse… Only 'then' are these narcissitic little girl finally ready to “lower" and belittle themselves for a “good-man" (human with excessive humanity as an instinct).
Most human female's are inherently wilful, narcissistic, hypersexual girls at their core essence. Get over yourselves! Too many females have a similar experience, i.e. spending their younger, beautiful years [secretly] having sex with narcissists for the emotional 'tingles’, before 'settling’ down for the “good man" (who they 'consistently’, and narcissitically perceive to be “lesser" in sexual attractiveness, compared to they multiple narcissit/cluster-B EX). This is the life-cycle of most women, especially the more “attractive" ones. Consider your life experiences, it is one such example of countless many. And it persists throughout human history, and certainly will into the future. Female's crave emotional-stimulus, because like narcissits, so many of them feel “empty" on the inside, and they instinctively look to a narcissist to 'fill’ them up with their sexual energy. Think about it…
Are you accusing women of lying about their reasons for leaving? How dare you (Greta Thunberg voice)!!! Seriously though, I love your line "I feel bored, I'M TOO UNIMAGINATIVE TO HAVE FUN BY MYSELF and you're not being exciting." Absolutely brilliant line. RIP to those millennial husbands in marriages.
@@Human_01 100% accurate.
Going through a painful separation and divorce process now at 42… the most painful thing was my wife and best friend for ten years, with whom I created my life’s best memories with and could never regret our experience together, looked me straight in the eye and declared “you wasted my time”.
Doesn't sound bad. Many people have gone through things like war where they got a limb blown off. Some retarded chick said you wasted some of her time. Grow up a little.
That's what she said🤣🤣🤣
I mean mine too, but who cares. I feel I lived my life well. Wish her best luck in the next life.
Two letters...O.J.
These are emotionally immature people.
Just tell her I also wasted my time with you and thanks for not wasting it any longer.
When she decides to leave there is no chance tell her and go and look for a new partner or do something you like and enjoy your life.
Look for wimhof breathing on youtube which will help with your mental pain. You're going through hard time dude this is only what I can do.
You’re 42 dude. You’ve still got time. She doesn’t. Get back to work and she’ll regret ever saying that to you. You got this
Dr Taraban is absolutely correct: when you see your time being wasted, leave IMMEDIATELY. Don’t give any more time to time wasters.
38 year old woman here - never married, no children; spent my 20s completing college, raising my nephew (who now calls me mama). Spent my early 30s traveling a bit; had a midlife crisis at 35 due to some failed relationships (ignored my God given discernment 🙄) and I don’t think any of it was a waste of time. I’ve had to process some painful truths, but I’m thankful that I’ve been granted understanding and peace to just be content in whatever state that I am in: single or married, birthing children or not…
Congrats!
Maybe adopt a cat or two.
would you still consider marriage and children?
Nice !!!!
In 10 years all you’ll have is regret
Really needing these episodes to undo the mind control. Society blames so much on the man and absolves so much from the woman
One key aspect you briefly touched on: Blaming others for wasting your time in relationships removes your responsibility to acknowledge mistakes and learn. A lot of people these days guarantee that they won't have good relationships because of the criteria they use to select partners, and then they absolve themselves of responsibility and do the exact same thing again.
Well by law, the person who wastes another person's time IS responsible. Imagine fraudulently getting people to invest in your BS company etc, and then saying, "I didn't waste your time. You just weren't discerning."
@@dr.jenniferma3914 when has someone been successfully prosecuted for fraud because they wasted other people's time? Investing money is not legally the same things as investing time.
My mother married when she was 19
Father put her through college, and her family paid for the wedding
They had 52 years of marriage so far, and orbit each other like a binary star 💫
She got her masters, had a teaching career, and now he looks after her with a medical diagnosis.. the way a couple should, in sickness and in health
I am one of 6 children from their committed love - the timeline is typical for the Boomer generation, (married after high school) but the results of boomer's selfishness, Gen X disillusion with changing social dynamics and now Millennials and GenZ trying to make their way without a stable cultural foundation is most consequential for society
Selfishness is killing us
@psychacks
They were from a different era. When people had less tech & money but more clued into nature, common sense and wisdom.
Very true!
Boomers and Gen X raised the women who have destroyed our society.
I would take the "don't waste my time" argument more seriously if she herself didn't already waste her peak fertility and beauty.
great point! can't argue with that!
You are not required to "take the argument seriously". She is leaving you. Telling you why is a mere courtesy at this point. Your only job is to deal with it.
Well said!
Amen!
@@Volkbrecht Sometimes she says it to guilt-trip you into marriage, not to leave you.
women saying i don't wanna waste my time is a clear sign that you are seen by her as a provider type AKA beta. She doesn't mind risk losing you for demanding commitment when she's not even sure you are attracted enough. Women would never say this to guys she has genuine desire for, which is why they usually end up "wasting their time " with the hot guys AKA alphas. "Weird enough", women always manage to save their time with beta providers.
You just shortened Orion's entire video to 12 seconds. Clarity!
Thank you for the episode
Putting pressure on a man to make a commitment is a HUGE problem for us especially in sexually conservative countries like egypt where the girl will use the phrase "my parents will get me engaged to another man if you don't propose"
This is a red flag that i keep warning my friends about and honestly i think women should stop doing that
So why are you sleeping with them then?
You are the red flag.
Muslims should not be dating casual.
The girls often get shamed for doing it, so please have some empathy.
Do you want to marry a girl who has been pumped and dumped? Probably not.
Call me a racist, a wh*re or evil, but I'm so tired of Muslim men thinking they can f*ck around and later on expect to marry a virgin.
Wanting you cake and eat it too is pathetic
I think this video perfectly exposes women's true nature and the way they see relationships. Women want financial security (i.e. marriage) and kids. In order to get financial security (i.e. marriage) and kids they know that they have to unfortunately deal with a man. So, in their 30's, they starting threating "don't waste my time", i.e. give me financial security and kids, or I'm leaving. Sad but true.
True.
To be honest you'll hear it at other times too though even when the biological clock isn't a factor.
Frequently they'll say it after they've had kids and got divorced. Ie to new suitors. It's just a way to manipulate you into making an impulsive decision rather than consider the pros and cons of her as a partner. It's made to sound romantic-like they're throwing caution to the wind and are prepared to risk it all on taking a chance with you...but the reality is they've failed to monkey branch on divorce (or the monkey branch hasn't worked out). In those circumstances they get VERY keen to secure a new financial sponsor.
as another commenter said,
"I would take the "don't waste my time" argument more seriously if she herself didn't already waste her peak fertility and beauty."
🤡 🌍
Women want financial security, kids and having an attractive partner. If she just wanted financial security and kids, women would be lining up to be with bob the boring accountant. But they're not, except maybe for one or two single moms who don't have a lot of better dating options left.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq they want it all. That's not the point. Its just as the clock runs out on youth, they prioritize the schlub with a 401k and dental plan. Sure, if they had their choice they'd pick a buff werewolf billionaire that is also a rockstar and CEO who likes kittens, but they'll settle for Kenny in sales.
The absolute worst part about all this is some guy that she gets with that she believes is not good enough it's destroyed twice because he didn't have much luck when he was younger now he's being used and manipulated just to be divorced after that in less than a decade
And society wraps it in a layer of Disnified, "The good guy wins in the end!" fairy-tale horseshit.
Spot on 💯💥
My case...
Congrats on 100k Dr. Taraban! I've been around since 5k subs and your videos have been instrumental in giving me much needed reality checks. I simply have a better state of mind in part thanks to you. Keep doing what you do.
Waste my time is such a common line from women that messed around their youth chasing "exciting" guys that never panned out nor were ever even realistic to begin with.
"She potentially overestimated how easy it would be to get what she wanted when she finally felt ready to want it" This is pure gold.
when faced with the statement, "don't waste my time," i usually respond with, "what have you done with your time before me?"
it causes them to reflect on the poor choices they've made... but accountability is their kryptonite so it's a short inward look.
the next response is: "your time isn't measured on my clock." iow, my trains runs at the speed at which I CHOOSE, and you're welcome to get off the train any time you wish to... nothing is holding you here. and from the prior video, "your departing gift will be my absence."
😂😂😂😂
I think you are exactly right. You said it well, and clearly.
I am certain that the women who really need to hear this will not.
If they hear it, they will not accept it. Much easier to blame men and not change.
The volume of men on here blaming, criticising and pointing the finger at "women" in general, is remarkable. Most appear to have a lot of mommy issues, need therapy, want free sex and a good time. And to blame women who walk away from that. To quote so many men on here : "Grow up".
60 year old retired for 5, single for 3. After pulling myself together the initial 12 months the last 2 years have been incredible. Embracing a IDGAF lifestyle has freed me up to call out everything that smells like BS, especially when dealing with women.
I tell them a hard NO is better than a soft YES if/when a potential get together is discussed. Gone are those "that sounds like a great idea let me check my schedule and get back to you." Women's phones are their lifelines and they will break every damn "appointment" if they find you interesting.
When I hear that phrase I give THEM my number to call me with THEIR plans. No simping, pleading or texting them later only to get ghosted. As this good doctor stated; "Don't want to waste my time."
Bro ur too old give up simping, u wasted ur time
If someone deceives you it’s THEIR FAULT not yours and they wasted your time.
When they mislead you, it took away your free will to decide if you wanted to waste your own time with accuracy information to make a decision
This is right on point.. dated a 30 year i was 45. She was immature, insecure but so cute.. . She woukd say i am wasting her time, however still continue to see me.. "I would tell her your wasting your OWN time" because of how she WOULD act.
she never got it untill 3 years later and finally got tired of me 3 years later.. lol so i enjoyed her for 3 years and kept it moving.
MEN KNOW THE OUT COME OF THE WOMEN YOU DATE. IT WILL HELP YOU EMOTIONALLY AND YOU WONT BE DEVASTATED WHEN IT ENDS.
Wdym by know the outcome?
It is dangerous to get into a relationship with a woman who is on a ticking biological clock. The problem is you won't have time to vet her correctly. It is always best to date a young woman who is not in any hurry for anything, if she likes you, it's most probable that she actually likes you, it isn't because she is under pressure to get someone to settle down with and you'd have a longer time to vet her, it is a more organic arrangement.
It takes years to vet a woman properly, you're best going for a woman in her early 20's. After the age of 25 they become more impatient, if you don't commit to her soon enough she will find another guy who will.
Exactly. This is how car salesmen conduct business. On people's immediate need to purchase a vehicle within a quick time frame.
Or, skip all that and date older women from the jump. I started dating women in their 40s when I was in my early 20s. The biggest age difference I had was I was 22 and she was 44. It was great. She was in no hurry. She wasn't jealous. She had an established career (her own money). She already had kids; she did not force me into any kind of relationship with them, which made it easy to be around them; and she had logistics (babysitter, etc) figured out if we wanted a long weekend or a getaway. The sex was phenomenal. She cooked like a champ. She always found a way to make trips happen. I moved, but until I did it was great. Oh, and, she didn't get teary-eyed or angry when I did move. A deep kiss, a perfumed pair of her sexiest panties, and a care-package-to-go with home-baked goodies.
I resolved that day that if i ever found another good woman that I would always treat her at least as well as I had treated this woman. To my absolute delight, I met a number of good women 40+ who took care of me and I took care of them.
I've never been married, and I've dated (mmm, lemme count...) fewer than 10 women under the age of 40. All were a bad fit (maybe it was them, maybe it was me). Most were in a hurry. Most were selfish or oblivious. Most were struggling financially. Most couldn't keep commitments. Most sucked in bed. Most wouldn't articulate what they wanted (food, sex, time away, adventure, to get drunk, a financial strategy, ... it didn't matter). A few were straight up angry at life.
Maybe things will change when I hit 60, but I don't understand the older guys who go for women 20 years younger. Course, at 60, 20 years would still put me circa 40y.o. women; hopefully society and culture don't ruin that age of mandatory independence and self-reliance.
As a man looking forward to having a big family, it's hard to find a woman who wants one while she still has the capacity to have one.
There are US subcultures where this is still mostly the norm. It’s not terribly difficult to find in Utah and other places. Maybe learn to speak Spanish?
please just make sure you vet her properly!
Even Spanish won't help when she changes her job to work for a Senator and gets a Masters. Just keep moving on. @@WildMidwest1
I appreciate this video. I recently ended up in a hookup situation where they were really concerned about "being used" and my take in the moment was "if you are concerned about that we shouldn't go forward with this."
So with some reflection I came upon a similar conclusion to this video. I can't take responsibility for how they feel and I have to be true to myself and be honest. So "I am happy with what this moment is and hope it's a mutual experience" is really the feeling I would want to express. You don't end up in someone's hotel room randomly after all.
YEP women want relationships with the wrong men. So many silly women are confused. Give him sex like Orion screams. Do not give him sex like others scream. All the while we look at the man and think or ask will you like me afterwards. We are sexual beings too but shamed for wanting a relationship and sex
In the household I grep up in, all of the women were either professionals, retired professionals, or business partners with their husbands. They also had families. They "had it all", but they didn't "have it all at the same time!" Their path was college, then marriage and starting a family, and then returning to work for their career. This works. It's also derided as the "mommy track" by feminists.
A woman who has been to college is a red flag now a days. We all know what women get up to at college and so I won't consider a college graduate as anything more than catch and release.
@@chadcadsonvii5258Yeah college was intended to program young adults without their parents around. This is why they push "the college experience" propaganda. They basically imply that you're not complete without the experience of the college life.
Exactly how many women in my family did it. It works!
@@chadcadsonvii5258 and you do not see how you are the same as they are? You play they play and no one wants to be an adult
@@susanhaines7358 College grads are ticking time bombs. They'll run off in search of self discovery 80+ percent of the time. That's not his problem unless he's married to one.
Bedankt
It's pretty rich to blame men for wasting their time, after the women just wasted the most important decade of their own life.
And in many cases actually wasting some men's time in their early years when they get into relationships with guy's who are intending to marry them but the girl's have every intention of trading up when they get a chance, I.e. they were never committed anyway.
I've seen women in my younger years have a series of relationships, going from guy to guy, I.e. no real commitment and wasting their time. It seems that women are like that in their younger years and men might be more like that in their older years (when these women are ready to "settle down"). So those women who don't want to waste their time in their later years, are just experiencing a guy's world when he is younger.
@@thecurrentmoment Probably just a reflection of the party with less leverage being more eager to close the deal. But because women are more attractive in their 20's while men are more attractive in their 30's, women have the opportunity to waste their time first.
It’s pretty rich to blame men-
There, fixed it for ya
They wasted a lot of men's time as well, i know of many women who go from guy to guy like they're a new piece of clothing.
According to YOU. There is no 1 important decade in your life, they are all important.
I recently ended a three year relationship. I am a 31 year old man with strong family values and intentions of giving my children the best possible start in life.
My gf, after around 1.5 years, expressed a really strong conviction not to have children. I took the time to explore this and see if she would want children with me if given the right circumstances. We had a very good relationship so it was worth finding out.
Anyway, in short, I felt that I was the one who "didn't want to waste further time on a relationship that wasnt leading to children" because as a man i dont want to be an old father and i want my children to know their grandparents.
Anyway, there are reasons why men may feel this same way about time wasting if they are serious about family... We just fortunately have much more time to play with (but dont get complacent!!)
I LOVE THIS! And yes 100. It goes both ways we should all be responsible for what we choose to do
Man... wish you around when I was in my 20's. I have been listening all day. My eyes have been open. A shame I am now 53... it's never too late. Thank you, Doctor.
Bro … it’s over for you your 53
Some great points in this video-I love the bits about how nobody can waste your time without your consent, moral indignation is wasted energy, and we shouldn't expect the world to be other than it is. However, despite every good point you made, it doesn't change the fact that if a woman wants a relationship with marriage potential, that's still a 100% valid desire for her to come to the dating marketplace with. We all value what we value, and if that's what she values at this time in her life, that's as valid as anything else. I'd agree that the onus is on her to discern with whom there is actual marriage potential, and I'd agree that no man should marry her out of guilt... But if, for example, she chooses to screen heavily for his intentions on the first date, or eventually give him an ultimatum to "sh*t or get off the pot," that's all fair game IMO. It may be poor strategy to apply so much pressure (i.e. it may be ineffective), but she's well within her rights to know what she wants and prioritize it-even if she wanted something else when she was younger. Also, you made an argument that a relationship shouldn't be viewed as wasted time if it ends before marriage-and I share that perspective-but really it's an entirely subjective point. If a woman really wants to get married and that's her main objective, then by that criteria, any relationship that doesn't lead to marriage IS a failure. So, it's a value judgment, maybe questionable, but ultimately not for anyone else to say but her.
😂 but you can't blame the other person for "wasting your time". That's the whole point. Take accountability 😂😂😂
This reminds me of the saying that women can understand men but men cannot understand women. It is a vital skill for women to be able to read men and know their intentions. If they say that you are wasting their time, then they imply that they are lacking in this department.
I am a man and I have never let women waste my time. It goes both ways.
Thanks
Dr Orion once again brilliantly exposed a manipulation!
The same with getting offended. A person cannot offend someone unless that other person is ready to accept the offence.
Self-disrespect is at the core 100%! “Her failure to plan is not your responsibility. Her decisions have brought her there” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 this phrase basically can be applied to any human being in any situation. But people have difficulties understanding they are creating their reality, not others.
It's not manipulation at all when someone asks you ''where are we going with this?'' It's a question seeking clarity.
She didn't say "I don't want you to waste my time", she said, "I don't want to waste my time", showing that she already knows the first point. Letting potential suitors know that she wants to move quickly or not at all helps everyone, and shows that she already knows the last point.
Wait until they get to their 40’s and still have the delusion that they’re somehow the prize with kids from multiple men and debt. They want a man but don’t have the time or space for one and still think they’re a catch. Nonsense.
Just because you bear some responsibility for it, doesn't mean people can't waste your time. Either way it's just a part of life and a learning experience. The older you get the more this idea gains importance.
The lesson I've learned is that most problems can only be solved in a timely manner by spending time. You spend anything else, and it will cost that and more time to clean up the mess you made tripping yourself. The single most valuable resource you have is also the one you probably have the most of, which is time.
If she shows up, you are not wasting her time. The question should be not whether you are wasting her time, the question you should ask yourself is whether you are wasting your time with her. You don't owe anyone anything in the short term, and, in the long term and other than blood relatives, you don't owe anyone much that doesn't also benefit you. Having said that, it's probably not in your own interest to lie to people. It's just too much work.
Sounds like something david x would have said
@@beezowdoodoozoppitybopbopb9488 Who is that?
No one is lying. The women put the pressure & demand for marriage & kids before they have convinced the man that she will be a good wife. They do this due to their own greed & selfishness. They don't care about the man. They only care about themselves & their life targets.
Dr. Taraban, you never miss. Each video is extremely valuable. Thank you.
Wow, these women spend their 20’s partying and sleeping around and then all of a sudden they’re frantically trying to find a man to rush him to have children with. They wasted their own time !!!
This reminds me of a poster I saw on a cubicle wall:
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
So many women act like it's criminal to just want to be with someone only for the sake of companionship.
Men do also.
Usually when a woman says “I don’t want to waste my time” it’s a huge turn off/red flag to me because it tells me that she’s not going to value the development of the relationship on its own terms but only insofar as it tends towards some predetermined end. The “getting to know you” stuff that’s so important has no intrinsic value for her; it’s just a phase to rush through on her way to somewhere else.
Yup. Which is financial security. Of which she wants millions.
This clearly was the best episode I've seen to date and I've seen so many of Orion's videos. Thank you for all of your great content.
I was explaining this to my mom. Her friend had a baby with a cop that killed one of his other baby mothers and tried to kill her daughter as well. My mom says the man is a liar and psychotic which is true but doesn't think the woman is at fault for getting involved with a psycho and believing everything he said.
Women and accountability = oil and water
Yeah, the amount of times I've seen women choose drug dealers or similar psychos over good men is honestly baffling.
Accountability is their kryptonite (kevin samuels). As coach greg adams says, it's all jermaine's fault, its always jermaine's fault.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq In what kind of company do you find yourself? I've only once met a person, a student in adult school who had turned his life around, to be a better father, but had been an addict and a small dealer. I was a teacher there. Otherwise it is not normal to know drugdealers and similar. Narcissists and other faul players who can deceive young women (and older, too) are represented everywhere, but their talent is to hide their unreliability. Women in general do look for good men.
@@DNA350ppm "Women in general do look for good men." *What* are *you* smoking?? W0men do *not* want *good* men. They want exciting, dangerous men.
They waste their own time doing counterproductive activities with the wrong people and blame everyone but themselves
Oh trust me, they're constantly blaming themselves
Another problem I've noticed would be that these women tend to want marriage a bit too quickly and readily available, like ordering a pizza, but then bitching because they didn't get their favorite sauce when they never mentioned it. Long lasting relationships take time to nurture and develop whilst getting to know each other. You can't just spend 6 months to a year together and already expect marriage out of thin air.
The " I don't want to waste my time." Sentence isn't even saying " you are wasting my time."... Considering that the man generally leads the relationship as a good captain and appreciating the communication of the woman's letting it be known what she is looking for, I personally admire, respect and appreciate it when a woman says "I just don't want to waste my time." She is communicating what she is looking for and she is not shifting responsibility by saying it. Furthermore, the sentence isn't even "You are wasting my time." But he responded to it as if it was for minutes into the video... If commitment isn't likely in the mans intent with her and commitment is what she is looking for, exactly how is she supposed to communicate what she is looking for?
yeah that's how i see it too. this video was responding to a completely different statement
Wow, for many years I thought I was crazy for I thought just like Dr. Orion articulated all this idea. I sure did not have better words on how to phrase the thought to others for I was so afraid to be hurshly judged and misunderstood. I think Dr. Orion is a smart man and I love your thoughts. Thanks man
Easy: if it's true love, you never can waste time!
Chase the chad in their prime, then they are in their 30s and expect the nice guy to marry and have kids immediately. *eye roll*
"Exercising apropiate discernment"
Oh that should hit home so hard in this day and age
Its the equivalent of a stripper in a club chatting with you and then asking if you want a lap dance. If you say no, she'll usually tell you she can't waste anymore time chatting and trawl for a new mark. Men need to get it through their thick heads, women are not about love and romance. They are about money and getting resources. They view men as props on their movie set. If you're thirsty do you care what type of cup the water is in? No, women view men and money the same way. As far as kids, they're an extension of narcissism and ego and also another way to secure income, via the father or government subsidies.
Every man should screenshot this and make it their screensaver
@Mihai Adrian totally agree, they're just as bad because their stupidity and behavior is what gives women their power.
@@5stelle88 thank you
Mo, it is blatantly obvious to me the type of women who have dealt with in your life
Maybe you should get with a woman who is not like you describe. Doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity!
They are whoremoanal. It's about chemistry, self centereredness, and attaining resources through sex. Love is who they want sex with.
I appreciate your videos!
At 5 minutes in, I'm thinking about the line from "As good as it gets", when Nicholson's character explains on how he writes women.
"I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability."
Pure projection, from men out for free sex and to take from women, out to subconsciously punish their mothers. Plain old simple madonna/whore complex. Where are the men above taking accountability for their negativity and experiences with women? These men are all, individually, the common thread in their dating and relationship lives!
"if you believe a lie. It is your fault. It is your responsibility to practice discernment"
There is a trail in the woods it splits. One party self indulgent lifestyle. Other path marriage and a average life. You cannot have both. If you are a woman. If you are a man figure out what path a woman has chosen for herself and act accordingly.
Crazy that the truth is considered a "hot take" nowadays.
Its a "hot take" because its anti-woman. We should be lying to women by telling them they can have it all, all men are trash, and its not their fault.
Which truth do you think of?
It wasn't. Everything he said is exactly what Red Pill has been saying. No new ideas.
It always was.
#2: this attitude is *monstrous* .. and should be closely examined!! Reminds me a Latina I dated in the 2000s. When we broke up, she returned *every* gift I bought her, via the USPS in a shipping box..
On one level, I agree. I often remind myself that need (mine or someone else's) does NOT beget obligation (despite the pressure from society to act as if it does).
On another level, fraud/deceit is wrong, and while good discernment is prudent, failure to have good discernment doesn't make you culpable for the sins of another (although you are still responsible for how you choose to move forward once you discover the deception).
Trust isn't a bad thing. It's the foundation on which most good things are built. Unfortunately, it can also be abused, and it's prudent to be aware of that and careful to mitigate that risk.
Yea. Its like saying if you dont have a good enough door lock, you deserve to be burgled.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Most women who made it to their 30s for example have entertained and had relationships with quite a few men. It's not like she's been in a relationship with a guy for 12 years and the last minute he bailed from marriage and kids, and they got blindsided.
@@mrdouche9172💯💥
@@mrdouche9172 How do you know this? It may be true for less career-successful women, but not for classier more educated women who have to work super hard at their jobs. Don't you guys get tired of stereotyping? here's a thought, we're actually unique and individual beings.
Thanks!
‘I don’t want to waste my time’ simply sounds like her explaining to him why she isn’t going to carry on in a relationship with him - she wants to find someone to have children with instead. Which is fair enough, really.
When they extort you for money via marriage and kids - hand it over or I’m leaving - tell them to leave - there’s always another, typically younger and hotter.
When they extort you? Sucks to be you
@@TV-oc4ml didn’t happen to me … but they see how much they can get .. less than ever today
Nail hit firmly on head from 6:16. If I heard a lady in her early 20s voice concerns about time wasting, I’d really respect that. But it’s always from the lips of 30-somethings who’ve waisted their 20s on work…. oh, sorry, on “career”. Or worse, women who have waisted their time becoming a single mother with a man they later decided didn’t meet her requirements.
These topics are great. I am continually shocked at how i am continually psy-oped by women simply because i assume that women take responsibility for themselves. Once you realize that most women never take responsibility for anything they do, and don't even think it is important to try to take responsibility, then it makes it a lot easier to understand what is going on.
Lots of truth in this. I just ended a relationship with a woman that made me acutely aware of the passage of time. Her anxiety around time put undue pressure and stress on the relationship and led to its demise. Of course, she called me a time waster.
Totalllllllly agree. Nobody can waste your time, only you. If you make it clear you are dating because you are looking for life partner and the relationship is not moving towards that direction in a reasonable time, BREAK UP ASAP. This is where women make their first mistake: not saying their intentions because they don’t want to scare men off and then they keep going hoping that one day because they are so special he just has to marry them.
Ideally you want to scare of all the guys who are not looking for a life partner. Yes, some will lie just to keep things going but that’s not majority and eventually the lie will be found out because men dating for a purpose behave very differently from those not dating with a purpose.
I’m also against pressuring a guy to marry you because weak men will just marry you out of attachment not really because they want to. I’ve not met one single happy couple where the man/woman was ‘directed’ into marriage. Usually both were looking for a life partner already and then they found someone suitable.
Köszönjük!
As a stoic I have to disagree with you. The last woman I dated was in her late 20s, I am 48. When she brought up marriage I immediately stated that that was not something I was interested in, as I have already had my children and didnt not feel I could be a decent father at my age doing it all again. I also told her that if that is something she wanted I would stop seeing her so I wouldnt waste the time she had left.
When she insisted that she wanted to marry I ended the relationship. One of the biggest problems is that men and women do not date with purpose. And I have see both men and women lied to by their partners, sometimes convincingly so, because the other just didnt want to be alone. That is not the persons fault. Most people struggle with the sunk cost fallacy. And this is at the core of what this is about.
You may not have intended it, but your position is people should trust less. It should, instead, be people should act more trustworthy. Our society is bereft of trust. Or perhaps thats just my perspective on what you have said. A better man than me said, "A man who has virtue, is in need of nothing whatever for the purpose of living well."
Agree 100% with you but will not happen in the next 100,000 years.
Expecting people to be more trustworthy is again putting your life in someone else's hands and losing agency over yours. Trusting less makes you more objective in analysing whether the situation is really what it seems, and also knowing that only you have your best interest at heart. What do I want vi's a vi's what do they really want. Sunk cost fallacy: Yeah, I agree. Quitting while you're ahead and quitting is not the same thing.
@@mgtowski395 unfortunately, you are probably correct. Overcoming ones biology seems to be impossible for some.
@@balladbuster5109 no, you are projecting onto my statement something that is not there. I am not of the mind that one should trust blindly, nor did I state that. Trust is of course earned. But what I stated was that people should endeavor to be more trustworthy.
Most people lie when it is convenient for them and then cry when others do that to them. That is why living a virtuous life is its own reward.
What was your purpose of dating if I may ask? And did you clarify that in the beginning?
Getting someone’s feedback on External Responsibility is one surefire way to see the true nature of a person.
I was telling people that they have to be 100% intentional and responsible for the outcome they want in dating, as dating today gives zero incentive to doing the right thing.
They strongly pushed back on it
She has had many relationships in her life.
See this is exactly why you shouldn't date women over 27. Because the less relationships, the less baggage. Or else you'll be in therapy with them.
Once a woman hits a certain amount of relationships. Microchimerism prevents pair bonding and you have zero chance to undo any of the pain she has.
You'll always be separate from her because who she is. Is wrapped up in her success of processing her issues.
Make that 23. Quality women get roped out quickly. What was she doing till 27? 27 is old for a woman
That may have been a great strategy two decades ago, but have you actually interacted with say a 22 year old woman recently? She probably has a tiktok like attention span, she probably has bought into all the left-wing talking points and she probably has had a ton of sexual partners already. She's also probably anxious or stressed out due to news telling her to be scared of everything, plus the covid situation and the stress of being a young woman in 2023 may very well have wrecked her emotional health.
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq when she's 22 she's at least still moldable if she comes from at least a good family and you've got strong masculine energy
@@HelloWorld-cq1sq You're acting like older women aren't posting their butts on instagram and don't have tiktoks. I mean c'mon you see many unmarried middle aged women shaking their behinds in nightclubs these days and being stuck on their phone all day. Just like the younger ones.
I met my wife when she was 22, we’re still together. My son is 18 and I told him NEVER go out with a woman over 23-24 (24 being immediate red flag requiring an interrogation). He should never feel pressure & I told him he can date 18-23 year olds until he’s early 30s easy. 25+ is ‘black flag’ today. Undatable for marriage, funtime only
The reality is that she can mother a child for only a limited number of years. Men, in most cases, have the physical ability to father a child until their mind goes or they die. If the tables were turned, men would also feel the biological clock ticking and behave accordingly. That’s just human nature: When there’s a limited offer, people hustle.
Men have more time, but not an unlimited amount of time. Maybe a decade more, realistically speaking.
@@mrdouche9172 And plenty of men have also expressed not wanting to "waste time"
what a belter of an episode. great work
What you saying (and others channels have said) makes me think arranged marriages are the way to go. What i'm seeing is by time both sexes want to get married is then too late. The best time to get married (when young) is also the time when the desire isn't there.
There ought be a process for both individuals of constant vetting for marriage partners even before they're born.
Before I went MGTOW, a common refrain I heard was "take some accountability for the partners you pick". Interesting to see the "REEEEE!" that results from women receiving a variation of the same message.
I've adopted this as a response to stories of horrific boyfriends and the amount of hate I get for "siding with the abuser" is insane. I'm like "all I asked is why she keeps dating him?"
LOL @ REEEEEEEE
I don't see much pushback on this. Taking accountability for the partners you pick isn't the same as it's your fault if someone wastes your time.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 I do when i've argued with women on deadbeat dads, they refuse to take responsibility for their shit taste in men.
@@dr.jenniferma3914 I keep getting "You just don't understand" like it's some kind of thing I should understand. Yes, I get it, the guy is hot and you stopped thinking months ago, but that doesn't mean you aren't responsible for the choices you make today with the information you have.
Oh wow Dr. Taraban quite blunt ideas you expressed here but valid non the less! We need to reevaluate the blueprint we have been sold all around for both men and women.
As a woman I love your perspective and the insight it gives me into a mans mind. Kind of checking me on my unconscious BS 😂 thank you!
My observation is most men and women exist in overlapping parallel realities, the biggest obstacle being most women do not get the reason a man is interested in her is primarily sexual. This needs to be understood to get even close to being in the same objective reality.
From my experience, I’ve seen women use this phrase in a different context. They use it as an appeal to entertainment. They expect the man to be their entertainer and if you are not fulfilling her extremely high demands to make sure she isn’t bored, she considers the man a waste of time and will move on to someone more exciting. It’s another form of women thinking that the initial spark of a relationship lasts forever.
Tack!
Dont play by her rules. You do what you like. If you want to commit, commit. If you don't, dont.
Dont let her mistakes pressure you into a decision you dont want to take.
She plays by her rules, and face her own consequences. You play by yours and face yours.
DON'T take the burden of the other's consequences.
Yes, people CAN waste your time without your consent by……….lying!!!!!!
Lying about themselves, their intentions, their beliefs, their feelings, etc. They take away your choice to participate by pretending to be in alignment with you.
Thanks, thanks, thanks. Dr. Orion, thanks.
Why does red pill sounds even better when a psicologist explains it? Cool mate😊
It's same message with different delivery: behavior is heavily anchored in biology.
Pick any truth - and you'll see how many forces try to debunk/ shame/ ridicule/ silence it, because if people will wake up to this truth - then a major change will happen and others at the end of that truth (1%-ers usually)- will seriously lose so much money from you waking up. This applies to Relationships, Ph4rma, etc. Hiding the truth can maintain the modern sl4very. Knowing the truth in the masses could free us from it, and there are tremendous efforts being put to gaslight us all. And to keep a certain mindset in society on low flames (like telling vvomen they are victims and"toxic" m3n cause all of that. Classic divide & conquer).
In regards to why Orion makes it sound so much better is that shaming tactics don't work on such a classy guy with diplomas. Yet, it's easy to shame/ ridicule the same exact truths if they're told by a muscular everyday joe that has a channel on youtube. Ed hominem claims do not work on Orion. 👌
Because this guy is a intellectual, not a grifting grinder.
Same message but he was non biased as possible. And he took emotions out of it
I've determined that although I appreciate some of his videos, he's quick to pander to the red pill community. The red pill community has been devoid of actual psychologists and he's found his market. Let's give the bro science someone to quote.
its really hard not benefiting from taking agency!! if ur open enough to it u can almost always take away something form it.
"its always my fault" leads to great lessons, and i love it.
Thank you for making this video. I definitely had to give it a like
#3: *her* failure to plan is not *your* responsibility!!
I have an aunt who married young, had seven children, went back to school (with maturity as her superpower), got a PhD, led science teams all over the world for 30 years, and retired to enjoy time with her grandkids. In my many visits with her, it was always abundantly clear that she was 100% responsible for her time.
From what I've seen this is another way of expressing the desire to have children and the fact that time is running out, usually after quite a few bad experiences/ failed long term relationships. That's a legit concern and if that man in his 30s thinks he might want to start a family with her it's his concern too (unless he wants to be changing diapers in his 40s or face increasing pregnancy risks).
Not to say that it should be an excuse for bad decisions but it shouldn't be dismissed either.
Another great video describing a common struggle in modern life. Should be required viewing for all young people