The Only Three Things a Woman Can Expect from a Man - Trevor Noah Presents: Josh Johnson #(Hashtag)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 2 чер 2021
- Josh Johnson breaks down the three attributes a woman can expect to find in a man.
Watch Trevor Noah Presents: Josh Johnson #(Hashtag) June 18 on Comedy Central.
Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up: / @standup
Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up: / ccstandup
Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:
Twitter: / standup
Facebook: / comedycentralstandup
Instagram: / ccstandup
Follow Josh Johnson:
UA-cam: / joshjohnsoncomedy
Instagram: / joshjohnsoncomedy
Facebook: / joshjcomedy
Twitter: / joshjohnson
TikTok: vm.tiktok.com/ZMewBgjXd/
Website: www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/
Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials: www.cc.com/topic/stand-up
#StandUp #JoshJohnson .
Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement: www.cc.com/info/k32ti7/ccsu-a... - Комедії
I am obsessed with how Josh Johnson looks different every time. Some days we get hobo, other days we get gentleman, today he is the 6th member of the Jackson 5
💀💀😭😭
For real 🤣🤣🤣
My favorite Josh Johnson look is young African prince.
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
His delivery keeps improving... he'll be doing perfect deadpan soon. Really one of the best young comedians we are seeing evolve right now.
💯
who are some of the other ones?
@@anastasiavasilyeva5116 The one on top at this moment, for me, is Bo Burnham, but he's not really a stand up comedian. Sam Morrill and Mark Normand come to mind.
This is deadpan?
@@ungoyone He's getting there, i think.
This ain't even a joke its just highly accurate
🤣
For real though.
You ain't lying
Facts‼💯
I'm sittin here in disbelief
Josh looks like a forgotten Jackson........ like he was the one who choreographed all the dance moves but sat in the back ground.
Damn bro why did you have to do him like that 😂😂😂
I agree 😂😍
The colloquial term for that is, "the blackground"
@@ghbvc his fault for wearing that sgt peppers bullshit
😂😂😂😂
Give
Josh
Johnson
A
Netflix
Stand up
Special
Already!
Yes! Would 100% watch!
jesus PUHLEASE
yes! have watch two clips and hell, yes!
Ya plz
This was actually a college lecture.
This dude gets funnier every time
The bar is below ground level
Facts
The bigger his hair gets the funnier he gets
It's like he has more room in his head for jokes
It's true!
The way he delivers "I hate that for you", my god.
When he said make a mold and leave I screamed laughing 🤣🤣 "no one ever says my dildo forgot my birthday" 🤣🤣🤣 FACTs
I WHEEZED WHEN HE SAID THAT 😂😂😂
Yeah, that part really broke me up, the dildo and the birthday.
Worse than ending up with a one, is ending up with a zero.
This is completely untrue.
you could get a negative
Seemingly, ending up with all 3 is a death sentence, so it's really diminishing returns.
Sometimes you can even get with a two, and after a couple of years, they've diminished to a zero
Yes but this is why so many folk end up miserable in a relationship because they would rather have someone than no one. That's a recipe for disaster.
"you have a great job?" had me BURSTING with laughter good lord
Best part about this that it still leaves uncertainty about which of the three he lacks.
It’s only a little scary how accurate this is. Also, I can’t decide on my 2 lmao
Same girl !
😂
@Mass Debater Your user name suggests not ! KIDDING KIDDING ! 😜
It's a tough choice no matter how you spin it, but I believe he's right. 😂
Same
My boy Josh not even telling jokes in this one. He's just speaking FACTS.
This is a secular sermon if I've ever heard one
I screamed at the part when he said "Nobody puts their vibrator back in the drawer and says, "He forgot my birthday" "
He’s dressed like he’s ready for African Mortal Kombat.
Meets the Jacksons
Or yes. Just what you said
Well...it is Trevor Noah Presents after all
*what you meant was Wakanda forever right ? :))
@@VEERG89 nope!
This dude is hilarious 🤣 I will forever use the 1, 2 or 3 system now 👏👏👏
Hahahhaah....me too...I really have learnt this...Ooh My God!!!
I guess you can also pick one and lower your standard in the 2 others
Never choose just 1 , 3 is near impossible, you have to choose 2
He has grown so much in his confidence. He never really struggled with it, but you can really see him coming into his own here and truly savoring those moments.
I would pay money for a stand up special I hope he writes more great jokes. He’s going places!
He performed a great set in my college town. Hilarious and worth every penny!
He just posted a list of upcoming live shows on his Instagram! Very affordable tickets.
He is currently a writer on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
My friend, who is happily engaged, is listening in and when he said the three things she went “…true.” LOL
my god! where was he 6 years ago...he summed up my ex so well. would have saved me a lot of time. Friend box checked!
6 years ago? I believe he was working on a farm and having mental breakdowns.
Thank you. Finally, after many years of frustration having to talk to all of my girl-friends about this, now I know exactly how to explain to them.
I’m one of the upset ones. Noooooo...it’s not fair women have to be all three....noooooo.
@@youtubename7819 except women aren't all 3 either lol
@@youtubename7819 I think you underestimate how demanding women are. A lot of women want some idealized guy that is goldilocks just right for her. Basically it goes both ways. People just idealize romantic relationship and put unrealistic expectations on their partner (and themselves) until they learn from experience that nobody's perfect and if someone has to completely adapt to their partners desires it would obliterate the personality they had that attracted them in the first place.
One of my exes literally wanted me to be polar opposite things at the same time. She wanted a sensitive tough guy, who was independent but listened to her, had ambitions but also wanted to spend lots of time together. I'm like are you sure you want a monogamous relationship, cause it sounds like you want 3 different guys intermitently and I'm stuck every time trying to guess which I'm supposed to be at any given moment. A big part of learning how to have a healthy relationship is learning the boundaries of adaptation. It's great to try and make eachother happy, and there will always have to be some compromises. But if you don't draw the line somewhere, then one day you're gonna wake up staring in the mirror like you just came off a rollercoaster, thinking "What was I like again, before all this started?"
So in the end you gotta love yourself enough to say "Of course I'll sincerely try my best, but if that's not good enough for you then that's just as far as we can go."
@@NLTops ahhahahahahah the ten pounds of salt you have provided me will last me months, thank you so much!
@@youtubename7819 Lol nah just making a point. What's with this overreaction? :P
Bruh when he said he didn’t know which two he was I was relieved cuz the whole time I was watching I was tryna figure out which two I was
When I met my husband he had #1 and #2. After a while he finally got #3 ---- and #1 disappeared!!! WTF, what sorcery is this, Josh is absolutely right about this.
Same thing happened to me with mine! I’m over here 13 years married like, what the…hell?!🤣🤣
Because they are exhausted from providing #3 for you.
his pacing is always SO good. love his stand up. fantastic
Every time I see this dude his outfit gets more and more eccentric
He’s Honestly the goat 🐐…can’t wait for his special, movies, etc
GOAT is losing his meaning.
its*
His delivery has always been there and now? Now he's sitting on a stool w one leg (*foot goddammit i meant foot ** just looks like he has more attitude now.. like that's some Ali Siddiq stance idk) on the floor? He's gonna be lifer and we will remember these early years
yea definitely not the “goat” but an incredibly poised comic.
Lol @ the goat
The accuracy. Having this perfectly summed up advice would have saved me a lot of time.
The Set? Killed! The Outfit? Dripped!
'I hate it for you. I really do. Sincerely.' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just need to take a minute and say...his natural and his outfit are straight fire.😏
At 4:35...that smile was everything...🌺
He has a great...job
He's F-ing Hilarious.
This is oldschool Josh Johnson. That hair is 🔥
Man, teenage Michael Jackson's pretty funny.
Except he's 29 yrs. old. Proceed to be shocked.
I think about this joke once everyday. Genius!
the "noooo" pout was so fucking funny and kind of cute
I love this man. I set an alarm for this special.
he has friends
This guy smashes it EVERY TIME! Looking forward to his future moves, man. I wish him luck
I'm not kidding when I say he's one of only 2 comedians that got me hollering at my phone😂😂😂
Who was the other one?
Brilliant! I’ve never heard him do a bad set tbh. This man has me in tears 😭
I love Josh johnson wish he had more comedy posted need more childhood craigslist stories
Check out his podcast. It's a great JJ fix
He needs to do more stand up💯💯💯💯💯💯
Ted Bundy reference got me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's accurate asf.
@@rickeybernard8156 not at all but that was funny
@@Sarachouska Ted Bundy wasn't accurate?
A good person with good equipment sounds like a himbo and I'd be okay with that
Ayo
This kid is always hilarious and right on point.
This is one of the best bits I’ve seen all year
Josh has all of these "friends", that means he's a good person.
He's unlike any comedian I've ever seen, he's an actor, the way he narrates the story, the pauses, his delivery is incredible, I'm speechless
🤣 yep! Let the 1's go ladies.
He is natural and deep , i re-watched this sequence like more than six times and still discover new subtle details
"and if he has one, leave" *me with nothing*
I wish I heard this in my early 20s. This is some spot on life advice.
This made me reevaluate my past relationships...most of these guys didn't even have one!
YES! MORE JOSH JOHNSON
Best advice I ever heard in my life I can't breath 🤣🤣🤣 and send to all my friends. Good D, good person. I got the rest! Yes preach!!!!
He adopted a Chappelle storytelling stance in this
Seems like he took some pointers on delivery from Dave as well.
I fell in love with him when he said I don't know which two I am
The structure of the jokes and the delivery is just so so good.
This man just opened my eyes.
Glad he popped up in my suggestions. What a gem!
That Ted Bundy stuff is gold
Now that’s how you tell a good joke 😂
I love him!
Me too!
@@champ1159 sir, get off of your own videos 😂
As an asexual I think the choice between the two things in a guy should be easy 😂😂
2:55 had me ON THE FLOOR I got noise complaints from my neighbors
Bruh I been waiting for another video of this guy to drop. Love him💘💘💘
I have been waiting an entire year for another one of his specials
As an Ace, all I need are the last two and I'm good.
His delivery is Everything!
I could listen to him talk all day! 😂😂😂He really is becoming better with each year. Wish him all the best in life and I will support him at a live show if he’s ever local.
Been thinking about this all week. It’s actually so true.
Epic. Insightful and brilliant
Who wouldn't appreciate an hour an a half stand up special? i am waiting patiently, but just so you know, put it out on your website on your youtube or whereever you want, i am going to watch the hell out of it
I think Josh is easily the best of the newer generation. His story telling is amazing, his punchlines always hit, his delivery is flawless, I feel like I know him and he is incredibly likable/relatable. Someone like marc normand is likable and has good punchlines but his stories aren’t as personal and I feel disconnected from. Sculz doesn’t have as good punchlines, sam moril isn’t as likable or relatable and so on. Josh doesn’t abuse the one liner and has the perfect balance in how long his jokes go. Super talented guy that I think is hugely underrated.
I love this guy!
This is one of my favorite comedy specials.
I thought he was going for original Michael Jackson when I saw the thumbnail picture.
Wish we had specials with him that were longer, because he definitely has a lot of talent.
Even Trevor Noah saw it in him. 😁
You're the best, Josh! Keep it weird!
Dude!!! THIS ROCKED!!!!!
This guy is going places, he's got it all. Looking forward the Netflix Special. x
I didn't know I needed this...So funny🤣🤣 Thank you YT algorithm.
This rule is about to save me a ton of headache and heart break because it's all making WAY too much sense rn...
He really just gets better and better. This is so true
He is so freakin funny! Witty and well paced jokes.
Best advice ever. Wish I knew this sooner... I'm telling both my nieces this valuable information!
This guy has improved so much. Great set!
This guy has got to be one of my favorite random finds on this channel. What a great comedian! 👏🏽👏🏽
Bravo. Insightful and hilarious!!!!!
Love his timing. Fantastic Josh
As a psychopath, I gotta say the part about all 3 is pretty damn spot on.
He’s funnier each time I see him, love it ❤️
Yesss, more videos! He's so funny
I really just had fun listening to this one.
This is _good_ advice y'all...
This gave me Paul Mooney vibes.
I love this man. I clicked on this video so fast. He never disappoints.
Thanks for the info!!
he’s going places!
This is the weirdest Power Ranger I've ever seen but he's funny!
Love this man
From beginning to end FUNNY!