Nobody knew how a maintenance request led to an order that would end the war, but the phrase "Fix bayonets" would forever be remembered from the closing hours of that siege
'Civilized' Xenos fighting Nomad Xenos: "My word! How can we dislodge these horrible barbarians from their conquest? Our orbital bombardment doesn't kill them all, we'll have to crack their planets." Monke: "Why you only stay on space boat? Get on ground, git r done."
THat's why I won't run. I'm so out of shape, it will just make it fun for the attacker. Instead I think "well I'm going to die anyway. Maybe I can get a bite in."
Just imagine how they would have reacted to a nuke in the first story. Never tell the human race that we can't keep our ground troops in the main form of warfare. We might just change the rules entirely to suit themselves. We personally love our melee and artillery. Not necessarily in that particular order. The Horde broke the rules and attacked innocent civilians.
I still believe that all ground forces worldwide should reinstate having swords as standard issue or at least letting soldiers use ones that they already have.
So, story 1: out of all the intelligent, sapient races in the galaxy, humanity is the only one with the concept of ranged weaponry. Story 2: AFFIX BAYONETS.
Well too be there are so many reasons why aliens wouldn't have developed chemical propelled weapons. After all guns almost didn't happen. They probably had crossbows as much
@@sethgilcrist8088 It was implied that we were the only civilisation that had the concept of throwing our weapons, bows and crossbows, as well as all rudimentary artillery, were based on the concept of being able throw things better. Ergo, the only civilisation with ranged weaponry in the first story was humanity.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 the human armaments delivered death at ranges never before thought possible. That implies that the aliens had experimented with projectile weapons. However as you pointed you they didn't have the concept to thrown weapons. So maybe they were playing around with the concept of blow darts maybe even developed paint ball type weapons not a bad approach for non-lethal payload delivery
@@sethgilcrist8088 It doesn't necessarily imply that aliens had ranged weaponry, anything longer than your longest still effective melee weapon, would be considered "ranges never before thought possible" What it does imply, is that humanity will dominate that stories galaxy in the very near future.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 that's true. We do ranged combat rather well. I saw one story where they had no concept of heavy vehicles got slaughtered by tanks. I remember another one where projectile weapons belonged only to extremely war like species, the rest of the galaxy used laser weapons because there was no reason to learn how to make projectile weapons they just converted mining lasers or it had developed plasma tech and were forced to weaponize it
Yeeting isn't always the answer, sometimes you need to KOBE, you Yeet when only your enemy is on the battlefield infront of you, you Kobe when you need to avoid hitting non-combatants.
You see, this is why you have a spear and a javelin. Spear is heavy and robust, made for stabbing but can be thrown if needed. Javelin is light and quick, made for throwing, but can be used to stab if needed. And if neither work, never underestimate the power of a blunt rock.
@@NcrXnbi it's not exactly trustworthy, as it's quite underhanded, but it is reliable. If you want a truly trustworthy weapon, you combine a flammable liquid with a gumming agent, and vola, depending on the the flammable liquid and gumming agent, you have either Greek Fire or Napalm... I still think that it's stupid that it took us over 1000 years to rediscover napalm...
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 perhaps the Greeks back then looked at Greek Fire like we look at nukes today. Horrible weapon that should only used as a last resort.
From the time that early man learned to throw a rock at his fellow man he has thought "how can I throw this even further?" From throwing rocks to High Explosive Variable Time Fuse to tungsten steel accelerated by Lorentz force from orbit, we're always trying to throw that rock even further.
"What if we throw a really, REALLY tiny rock, packed with fissile material, so small and light we can chuck it fast enough it goes nuclear on impact?" "With what propulsion?" "Electron beam." "Don't we already use those?" "Yeah, but wouldn't they be cooler if they caused explosions on hit?" "Well, I'm sold!"
The Horde stared out at the Warriors of Humanity... Amused, as they had never been beaten... Humanity staredd back.. And a sound was heard... Starting from the rear of Humanity's ranks.... Ay oh.... Ay oh.. AY OH... AAAY OHHH... LETS GO AAAY OHHH LETS GO... And, suddenly, one single amplified voice cried out from the front of Humanity's ranks.. LEEEEEERRRRRROOYYYYYYY.... And Humanity charged with an answering cry... JEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNKIIIIINNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!
first story it be a scary...but also very poetic and glorious way to find friends in the void....and have a brief moment of global union of values at home aka humanist ones or such. to find scholars , farmers , wardens of worlds yet struggling to learn war.... that badly needed some noble savages to turn a tide and both earn a friend and halt a growing genocidal empire before it got to large.. though that depend a lot on if the potential friends still was a fighting force.. or so reduced all they could do was to offer knowledge ,as quantity can be its own quality in war.
4:47 and thus is the crux of Horde Strats. They may work in enclosed spaces, or where your enemy's firepower is limited, but if the enemy has enough time to set up even a few Splash Damage Defenses, such as artillery, the compactness of your damage becomes your downfall, as their ranged splashed of damage engulf large swathes of your troops, leaving holes in your wave. Give them enough time to set up, and a good artillery barrage can defeat or excessively weaken to the point of uselessness even the toughest of hordes. When all you have are numbers, splash damage is your doom.
Fun fact about the first one: throw is a pretty powerful word. Humans can throw things with more force and accuracy than petty much anything else in the animal kingdom. It's one of our greatest physical advantages over other animals. Nothing else could throw a rock with enough force to kill, and enough accuracy to land that kill shot on the first try every time.
Granted, doing so takes some practice for the majority of us, but yeah, we have the advantage when it comes to throwing. Even amongst those primates closest to us (who are much stronger than we are), a fully grown adult can't throw anything with the same force or general accuracy that a child can. This has been measured. This is due to how our shoulders are designed, the ball and socket joint allowing for a great deal of motion range, the fact that our shoulders have a more open joint as well to allow for it, and how our muscles and ligaments are designed to be able to throw objects with greater force than our strength would imply. Still takes practice and training to do so most effectively.
So the Arkall brought melee weapons to a gun fight. "strange machines they used shaking their whole bodies violently".....Human "Let me introduce you to a human invention. The Browning M2 , .50 caliber."
10:35 Yeah, that's not _just_ a declaration of war. That would be as if the japanese at pearl harbor bombed all of hawai'i too. Yyyyyeeeeaaah, that's how you unite humanity agaisnt you.
You may fly over a land forever; you may bomb it, atomize it, pulverize it and wipe it clean of life-but if you desire to defend it, protect it, and keep it for civilization, you must do this on the ground, the way the Roman legions did, by putting your young men into the mud. - T. R. Fehrenbach
Human commander: Men we have found new friends! Humans: Yay! Human commander: but they are almost gone because they are being invaded. Humans: Nay, War! Human commander: they are to far away, I will not reach them in time. Humans: Oh, Nooo. Human commander: but our war robots can! Humans: beep boop help new friends!
Strange. The disparate tribes of the Pembrian Drift, united by the Malam sounds a great deal like the disparate tribes of the Mongols, united by Attila the Hun. Except the Huns did conquer much of the known world. Starships can glass or even crack open a world, but they are unable to go to a world and separate and capture all the left -handed redheads on the planet. Space Marines can.
Not to piss on the 2nd story's parade, but did humanity just commit genocide? Against a raging, uncontrollable, destructive people, sure, but genocide? At least in the first story it seemed implied we stayed on just the 1 planet.
The story made it clear that "The Horde" was a collection and coalition of several nomadic species in the area. They were basically a faction unto themselves. They weren't "an entire species". However, they were willing to wipe out the populations of entire planets and possibly species to obtain what they wanted. So, you know... humanity just went in and stomped them all. What's interesting is that The Horde never tried to surrender at all.
Nobody knew how a maintenance request led to an order that would end the war, but the phrase "Fix bayonets" would forever be remembered from the closing hours of that siege
And that was how the famous Imperial Guardsman tactic of suicide charges was born.
@@jimvenanzio6561 gas mask noises intensifies
Rah
@@Amoth_oth_ras_shash instructions unclear; affixed combat shovel to lasgun
@@zachsmith1676 Command none responsive... warp energies increasing ,daemons spoted..
Peaceful aliens: "'How did you become so powerful?"
Warlike Humans: "YEET!"
Pompous Aliens: And what happens when you throw your one weapon?
Humans: Who has only one weapon?
@@gmradio2436 Best part is, enemy YEETS back! Human clever!
LEROY JENKINS!
*humans organizing the aliens to make a peasant rail gun*
'Civilized' Xenos fighting Nomad Xenos: "My word! How can we dislodge these horrible barbarians from their conquest?
Our orbital bombardment doesn't kill them all, we'll have to crack their planets."
Monke: "Why you only stay on space boat? Get on ground, git r done."
translation.. huh.. someone beating on new fancy friends WAAAAAAAAGH!
@@Amoth_oth_ras_shash ahh humanity the only species to out orc orcs
@@theenderdestruction2362 there is always space for more daka!
@@Amoth_oth_ras_shash yez
"This is Monke 4, ready to ooga some boogas."
the first thing that came to mind when reading the first story was "Do not run. you will only die tired."
Pursuit Predation has entered the chat.
THat's why I won't run. I'm so out of shape, it will just make it fun for the attacker.
Instead I think "well I'm going to die anyway. Maybe I can get a bite in."
you cant run but you can hide
@@ianhogben3472 rarely for long.
Don't come to our aid. Save yourselves. --- Xenos
It is always more fun to fight a war on other people ground. --- Humans
In reality it's closer to wait a second we can kill and slaughter until we drop from exhaustion AND BE THE GOOD GUYS.
We are coming!
YEAH! My first story narrated! I'm so happy
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
Yeah,we don't like bullies. Even when we are the bullies, it just means that we'll be fighting ourselves.
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Story 1: Humans Throw Things
Story 2: But we can go head to head also
Story #1 Turd flinging monkeys provided unexpected benefits
Story 1: Humans throw things
Story 2: Sometimes, those things are hands
Just imagine how they would have reacted to a nuke in the first story.
Never tell the human race that we can't keep our ground troops in the main form of warfare. We might just change the rules entirely to suit themselves. We personally love our melee and artillery. Not necessarily in that particular order. The Horde broke the rules and attacked innocent civilians.
Orbital bombardment is good for cracking structures, but it can't be used to hold territory. Some things just require a human touch.
I still believe that all ground forces worldwide should reinstate having swords as standard issue or at least letting soldiers use ones that they already have.
@@Sean_XTUnfortunately the U.S Army is actually discontinuing bayonet training. For some extremely dumb reason
Gas Attack!
Maybe if those alien's far ancestors flung their shit at each other they too would have come up with ranged weapons 😁
The catfish resting on the floating rock look cool af.
Thank you Agro! Sounding strong!
HOLD THE LINE BROTHERS!!! HEAVY METAL 🎸 🤘 IS HERE!!!
So, story 1: out of all the intelligent, sapient races in the galaxy, humanity is the only one with the concept of ranged weaponry.
Story 2: AFFIX BAYONETS.
Well too be there are so many reasons why aliens wouldn't have developed chemical propelled weapons.
After all guns almost didn't happen.
They probably had crossbows as much
@@sethgilcrist8088 It was implied that we were the only civilisation that had the concept of throwing our weapons, bows and crossbows, as well as all rudimentary artillery, were based on the concept of being able throw things better. Ergo, the only civilisation with ranged weaponry in the first story was humanity.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 the human armaments delivered death at ranges never before thought possible.
That implies that the aliens had experimented with projectile weapons.
However as you pointed you they didn't have the concept to thrown weapons.
So maybe they were playing around with the concept of blow darts maybe even developed paint ball type weapons not a bad approach for non-lethal payload delivery
@@sethgilcrist8088 It doesn't necessarily imply that aliens had ranged weaponry, anything longer than your longest still effective melee weapon, would be considered "ranges never before thought possible"
What it does imply, is that humanity will dominate that stories galaxy in the very near future.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 that's true.
We do ranged combat rather well.
I saw one story where they had no concept of heavy vehicles got slaughtered by tanks.
I remember another one where projectile weapons belonged only to extremely war like species, the rest of the galaxy used laser weapons because there was no reason to learn how to make projectile weapons they just converted mining lasers or it had developed plasma tech and were forced to weaponize it
Naktatha: "Please don't engage the Arkall, they will tear you to shreds with their bare claws!"
Humanity: **Laughs in dakka**
Excellent story
If yeeting doesn't work, you're not YEETING hard enough!
Or you're just not yeeting enough.
@@oblivion715 Additive or multiplicative increases of YEET are both perfectly valid forms of YEET
Yeeting isn't always the answer, sometimes you need to KOBE, you Yeet when only your enemy is on the battlefield infront of you, you Kobe when you need to avoid hitting non-combatants.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 Laser-Kobe'd Ballistic Yeeting.
@@oblivion715 no no no, it's Intercontinental Ballistic Kobe and Multiple Independent Re-entry Yeeting. Get it right.
Bless the Squerril
Bless the Author
Lol!
Reminds me of some of the speeches from WW2. 👍
Silly horde, starting a atrocity contest with humans.
"There are RULES in warfare. We will now demonstrate WHY."
@@TheLastGarouinitiating Geneva Checklist Protocol
That`s the reverse of how Saka Zulu became king.
He got the idea of keeping a lance in is hand and started stabing.
You see, this is why you have a spear and a javelin. Spear is heavy and robust, made for stabbing but can be thrown if needed. Javelin is light and quick, made for throwing, but can be used to stab if needed. And if neither work, never underestimate the power of a blunt rock.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178
You are forgetting the all trustworthy... "pocket sand".
@@NcrXnbi it's not exactly trustworthy, as it's quite underhanded, but it is reliable. If you want a truly trustworthy weapon, you combine a flammable liquid with a gumming agent, and vola, depending on the the flammable liquid and gumming agent, you have either Greek Fire or Napalm... I still think that it's stupid that it took us over 1000 years to rediscover napalm...
You adapt to what works. Or you die.
@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 perhaps the Greeks back then looked at Greek Fire like we look at nukes today. Horrible weapon that should only used as a last resort.
From the time that early man learned to throw a rock at his fellow man he has thought "how can I throw this even further?"
From throwing rocks to High Explosive Variable Time Fuse to tungsten steel accelerated by Lorentz force from orbit, we're always trying to throw that rock even further.
"What if we throw a really, REALLY tiny rock, packed with fissile material, so small and light we can chuck it fast enough it goes nuclear on impact?"
"With what propulsion?"
"Electron beam."
"Don't we already use those?"
"Yeah, but wouldn't they be cooler if they caused explosions on hit?"
"Well, I'm sold!"
@@Sorain1 And this beautifully ties in to "humans like to look at explosions"
I love the thumbnail for this one. XD
The power of Y E E T
#2 -- yet another Great story of humans versus aliens with way too quick tech progress
Thank you for the reading
The Horde stared out at the Warriors of Humanity...
Amused, as they had never been beaten...
Humanity staredd back..
And a sound was heard... Starting from the rear of Humanity's ranks....
Ay oh....
Ay oh..
AY OH...
AAAY OHHH... LETS GO
AAAY OHHH LETS GO...
And, suddenly, one single amplified voice cried out from the front of Humanity's ranks..
LEEEEEERRRRRROOYYYYYYY....
And Humanity charged with an answering cry...
JEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNKIIIIINNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!
first story it be a scary...but also very poetic and glorious way to find friends in the void....and have a brief moment of global union of values at home aka humanist ones or such.
to find scholars , farmers , wardens of worlds yet struggling to learn war.... that badly needed some noble savages to turn a tide and both earn a friend and halt a growing genocidal empire before it got to large..
though that depend a lot on if the potential friends still was a fighting force.. or so reduced all they could do was to offer knowledge ,as quantity can be its own quality in war.
Wonderfully narrated! Such power!
2:38 FISH GOES BRBRBRBRBRBRB
Mater's tall tales is a good cover
4:47 and thus is the crux of Horde Strats. They may work in enclosed spaces, or where your enemy's firepower is limited, but if the enemy has enough time to set up even a few Splash Damage Defenses, such as artillery, the compactness of your damage becomes your downfall, as their ranged splashed of damage engulf large swathes of your troops, leaving holes in your wave. Give them enough time to set up, and a good artillery barrage can defeat or excessively weaken to the point of uselessness even the toughest of hordes. When all you have are numbers, splash damage is your doom.
#1 -- humanity brings gun to knife fight
Fun fact about the first one: throw is a pretty powerful word. Humans can throw things with more force and accuracy than petty much anything else in the animal kingdom. It's one of our greatest physical advantages over other animals. Nothing else could throw a rock with enough force to kill, and enough accuracy to land that kill shot on the first try every time.
Granted, doing so takes some practice for the majority of us, but yeah, we have the advantage when it comes to throwing. Even amongst those primates closest to us (who are much stronger than we are), a fully grown adult can't throw anything with the same force or general accuracy that a child can. This has been measured. This is due to how our shoulders are designed, the ball and socket joint allowing for a great deal of motion range, the fact that our shoulders have a more open joint as well to allow for it, and how our muscles and ligaments are designed to be able to throw objects with greater force than our strength would imply.
Still takes practice and training to do so most effectively.
Artillery, the king of battle and Combined arms.
Thank you for the video.
So the Arkall brought melee weapons to a gun fight.
"strange machines they used shaking their whole bodies violently".....Human "Let me introduce you to a human invention. The Browning M2 , .50 caliber."
For the Horde! Oh, wait.....wrong channel, story just confused me for a moment. I mean, For the Algorithm!
For the God Emperor
*DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA*
[documented contact]
For the Squirrel!. For Al Gore's Rhythm Section!
10:35 Yeah, that's not _just_ a declaration of war. That would be as if the japanese at pearl harbor bombed all of hawai'i too.
Yyyyyeeeeaaah, that's how you unite humanity agaisnt you.
You may fly over a land forever; you may bomb it, atomize it, pulverize it and wipe it clean of life-but if you desire to defend it, protect it, and keep it for civilization, you must do this on the ground, the way the Roman legions did, by putting your young men into the mud. - T. R. Fehrenbach
Why do I feel like the second story was written by a Stellaris player fed up by the emergence of the Great Khans yet again...
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
pursuit predators for the win!
why the navy has marines...you need boots on the ground
Second story, We wouldn't stop at the old border, we'd go in and make the 'Horde' a forgotten myth.
11:59 lol, kamarat or Kamarát means friend in slovak
"We just made some new friends, we'll be damned if we just let someone hurt them without stepping in and stepping up."
neat
1st story: They were the most dangerous creatures they had ever met (until now).
Humans got it done? Damn right, nothing like Overkill to win a war.
We are doomed but it was nice to have met you - Xenos
oh no *travels many lightyears to the xeno's homeworld* oh YES! >:)
First story: all I can think of is....
When the Winged Hussars arrived!!!!
Human commander: Men we have found new friends!
Humans: Yay!
Human commander: but they are almost gone because they are being invaded.
Humans: Nay, War!
Human commander: they are to far away, I will not reach them in time.
Humans: Oh, Nooo.
Human commander: but our war robots can!
Humans: beep boop help new friends!
"You Americans are late to every war. You show up like your Cowboy Cavalry and claim all the glory." - - Unknown British Soldier
Strange. The disparate tribes of the Pembrian Drift, united by the Malam sounds a great deal like the disparate tribes of the Mongols, united by Attila the Hun. Except the Huns did conquer much of the known world.
Starships can glass or even crack open a world, but they are unable to go to a world and separate and capture all the left -handed redheads on the planet. Space Marines can.
For the Algorithm the story and the voice
woo
For the Algorithm11!
1st story: I think humans meant throwback to pursuit predator ancestors. Yeeting is a funnier interpretation tho.
For the algorithm
How does humanity win?
well there once was this guy called Leroy Jenkins...
Apparently, it has been mooted that you have got your voice back again.
yo
Story one “ it seems alien friends order some earth shakers and lead
200K
First story is the caveman rock meme
F.T.A !
131st, 19 March 2023
Not to piss on the 2nd story's parade, but did humanity just commit genocide? Against a raging, uncontrollable, destructive people, sure, but genocide? At least in the first story it seemed implied we stayed on just the 1 planet.
The story made it clear that "The Horde" was a collection and coalition of several nomadic species in the area. They were basically a faction unto themselves. They weren't "an entire species". However, they were willing to wipe out the populations of entire planets and possibly species to obtain what they wanted.
So, you know... humanity just went in and stomped them all.
What's interesting is that The Horde never tried to surrender at all.
@@XxTaiMTxX Ok, I can see that. I picked up that they were a Ghengis Khan led Mongolian army.
Horde: We pillage your planets
Humanity: *Slaps the top of their genocide pile* so many of you fit in there
[ comment redacted ]
For the algorithm
For the algorithm