In internship/job interviews, we are asked if we face mental health issues. According to seniors in my law school, those who admit their poor mental health are never shortlisted.
I had an awkward job interview moment where I was referring to my partner (who uses they/them pronouns) and the woman interviewing me looked aghast and said “oh?? more than one?” 😭 another thing about this interview - they were asking me all sorts of questions about: if like where i live, if i plan on moving in the next 10 years, if my partner has a job. is that legal?
I was asked these questions because the company gave specific benefits. It was a resort and they gave health insurance to family members even though I live in a country with public health, kids and husband could eat at the stuff restaurant for free, had a discount for the gym and poll. That was a nice job. On the other hand minimum wage and to far away from town.
For large businesses I totally agree, but for single location/small businesses without a proper HR department, they may not realize they're asking invasive/illegal questions. This video really helps one not self incriminate and lose potential jobs due to disability, family, or romantic orientation.
@@user-yd8qe4lj2m that's nice, but in my case they wanted to know all those things because they don't want to hire someone with any family plans. They needed someone "hands on" that will only focus on their work. And I was not allowed to phone in sick cause my workload is too demanding if I'm sick the work will provide meds and stuff. Like who does that? Happy I left the company best decision, however getting a new job has been a struggle ever since.
Many years back, before an interview, I deliberately removed my wedding ring bc I didn't want my marital staus to influence. They wanted to hire me and discussed the salary. When I had to return for an interview with him and a dept head, I inadvertently mentioned 'husband.' Sure enough, that salary was suddenly lower than previously quoted. Maybe it's not done as much now (think it's illegal and should never be done!), but back then (1990) they figured you didn't need as much money if you were married. I just thanked them for their time and went elsewhere. Happened to a professional friend of mine too. Crazy!
That happens to many women. The men are paid more because they are the “bread winners” even if the woman is a single mom or is supporting the family (ie husband is sick or unemployed)
@@fluffytail6355 Since your reply was written in present tense, I'm assuming this sh$t still goes on. Holy cow. My experience was more than 30 years ago, and it seemed so antiquated even then. It was also the only time it happened...I'd had several jobs at varying levels for years before and after this incident. I decided to do into business for myself shortly after this bs, so haven't had to deal with someone else playing games and deciding my worth for a long time. Stay strong out there! PS...My mom, waaay back before she had kids (1950's), was a freelance illustrator in the NY advertising industry (and remained so for 40 years). Her then-husband was going to school and had a part-time job. Mom earned more than him as a self-employed freelancer but he had that 'regular' predictable job lenders love, so when they applied for a small bank loan her varied but much better yearly income was dismissed. Going on his then-income alone, the loan was denied. So they saved and then bought what they wanted outright. So ridiculous.
@@psychandtheology To be entirely fair, it is of course inappropriate to have someone's marital status affect your hiring decisions in any way, but if someone is married, odds still are that it's a straight marriage, just statistically speaking. That said, maybe just don't bring it up and assume stuff about people you don't know, right :D
A good response could be “my family” it gives zero indication on what your home life looks like and they probably wont ask further questions as to not look nosy
One employer asked me if I was married. I smiled and said "The job description says you are looking for someone who is highly detailed oriented and has good insight,...oh! you have lovely wife is that your son?" He froze and asked how I knew he was married and had a kid and I pointed at the photo behind him. He was unnerved for the rest of the interview. Dont ask about marital status if you're not willing to be asked about yours.
@@Jashuatadglock95 an interview is a two way conversation, its business for both participants. If they can ask me questions I can ask them questions. An employer is seeing if you are a good fit for the job. You are seeing if an employer meets your need. Just like any business discussion a contractor can refuse to work for someone who treats them bad and a customer can refuse a contractor who treats them bad.
I had one interviewer ask me why i didnt have any kids, me being the person i am, just told the truth, ive had chronic hypothyroidism for years so im probably infertile. The silence after that was horrible.
me watching this as a 15 yr old who has no sense plans to get a job....yet i take note of most of your tips Edit: 1. I am going to get an internship. An internship where i live is mostly or entirely shadowing 2. my parents do not want me to work 3.i cannot drive until i am 18 where i live. hence i don't need to save for a car at 15
Fr as a 15 year old girl I’m taking mental notes on what to do when they ask if I’m going to have kids because I know damn well I will never get a mans
It's a good thing that you do though. Places will be more likely to hire you, if you seem professional. I'm 17 going on 18, and got hired when I had just turned 16. People are willing to hire newcomers with no experience. It's just a case of how you carry yourself and how you communicate. It may sound early, but start putting together a CV, in the next year or two. It will help if it's already done, when you decide to finally apply for a job.
And this is why you can write this from the comfort of your childhood bedroom. You have just created a confrontational situation where there wasn't one. Should you have to answer the questions? No. But bear in mind, to use a sports analogy, you are in their home ballpark. Any thing that slows the flow of the interview will be read as you being a difficult person, and therefore they don't want to work with you. But at least you have your integrity. I hope you can eat on that. But, if I don't miss my guess, and this is where you lie and tell me you're self-supporting, your bills are already paid for. I gather this because if you had ever had a real job, you would know better than to offer the advice you are giving.
@@TerryTutor-cv3hhThey absolutely do not need to know anything about your personal life. Period. Why are you shaming people into giving a company information they absolutely do not need? Can they do the job? That is all that matters. I’m guessing you own a business and you like to be way too involved in your employees lives.
The problem is if you refuse to answer, they assume your hiding because the info puts you at a disadvantage. They'll assume you're pregnant, have kids, a criminal record, etc.
I refused to answer the criminal record question, well I think they assumed I was some criminal or something even if they could've checked my criminal record by themselves, they didn't reject me they just told me to "Please avoid any kind of inappropriate behaviors like the ones you may have had in the past", yeah, I did not take that fucking job
In some/most countries/states, it is illegal for companies to ask those questions. If a company asks those questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for. 🚩
Refusing to answer simple questions like who you live with or if you are married is a great way to get the interviewer to think you are a dick. Even if you have this principle of it being against regulations, great, then don't get the job because you didn't want to say "I live with my partner". Answering it in a smart way is the way to go. Like the last answer, that was good. If you think getting married soon keeps you from getting the job just say "We are not sure when yet". Not answering basic questions which are intended to get you to talk about yourself and get a rapport going is an awful idea.
certainly not. Getting someone to talk about themselves could be “tell me a little about yourself “ what do you like to do for fun” how do you like to spend free time etc but asking someone their martial status or if they have children is not really something an employer should do
@@DeathBlocks An interviewer does not need to know who you live with or your marital status. People don't need to entertain these leading questions. In fact, they're illegal for interviewers to ask.
One trick interviewers will pull is asking details about your potential commute, in order to get a sense of your financial status/personal life. They might be less willing to hire someone who uses public transit instead of owning a car, for instance. Assure them that you can get to work on time every day, you don't need to explain exactly how if you don't want to.
Distance is also a factor. Employers want the assurance that you're going to be there every shift, on time ("I'm stuck in traffic!" Might be true on your hour-long commute almost every day, compared to never when you live only 8 minutes up the road). Edit to add: being able to describe the journey in terms of time is very helpful. I always ask "how was it getting here? Any trouble finding the place?" If they say "fine" I get nothing out of it, but if they say "yeah y'know it normally only takes about 30min for me to get to this area but today I hit some mid-morning traffic..." or whatever, it tells me that they're aware of their time and the area, and they're thinking realistically about the day-to-day of working here. If they say "I'm an hour and a half away, but I love the views..." I might dig into that a little more, like can you really do this 5 days a week or are you going to be swapping shifts constantly?
They already do this - - they will ask for proof of car insurance in order to be screened through the HR process, and make up some excuse why... often they will not even consiser you without this and if a candidate says, "Oh I use public transit (or rideshare service)," they often will write them off as not having reliable transportation. Completely legal but really messed up as it puts put a classist employment barrier upon those who can't afford a vehicle or have physical/mental health reasons for not driving yet fully capable of doing the job.
@@TheLadyBlerdit’s actually not legal in all states. I’m in Oregon and it’s not legal to consider a candidates transportation method unless the actual job requires it. For example we can require a drivers license if the job they do requires them to drive. We can require information about if you own a vehicle if the position requires you to use your own vehicle for business purposes. It doesn’t count if it’s just to make sure you have reliable transportation. They can ask if you have reliable transportation but if you can get there reliably by bus and ride share you can say yes and that’s that.
My brother applied for 10 or so entry level jobs and even went through a job agency and was told he was denied jobs because he took public transit. Not like you can get a car if you can’t get a job. He was only 19.
I got a phone call from a company looking to fill a position. A few current employees knew me and thought I would be a good fit so they passed my number along. A week before the interview, somebody who knew the company & the hiring manager, told me to remove the car seat out of the back of my truck. His exact words were, "the manager will walk people out to their vehicles and look inside them to see if there are car seats in your car or any signs of little kids. If he sees a car seat he won't hire you. And don't mention you have a man in your life, he definitely won't hire you. " I did not go to the interview.
@Kommander_Rahnn 😆, does it strike a nerve for you personally? Everything I stated is true, and that place is still in business, with the same guy as the Lead there. You can think whatever you'd like, and it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. Have a great day being salty to random strangers on the internet.
"So, do you plan on having any children?" "What does that have to do with this position?" "Just trying to get to know you." "That's private, next question." That's literally what I'd say at this point. I'm almost 30 and too crusty to give a fuck. If they don't hire me because I set boundaries, then good.
At the same time, a business owner will obviously want to know if a person is planning on having kids soon. If I owned my own small business, I really don't want to hire a person who is gonna need maternity leave within the first year. That just means I have to hire someone else to work during their maternity whilst also paying for said maternity.
Asking people to repeat the question (especially if they spoke clearly/simply) is a great one. It's basically saying, "I'm giving you a chance to rethink what you just said." If they DO repeat themselves without changing the problematic aspect of the question, it's time to go. 😅
i do this all the time 💀 most of my peers are men so usually i get odd comments about my intelligence or capabilities. another good trick is to just stay quiet and stare at them with a blank expression, especially if it’s in a group setting. my mom also has mostly male coworkers so she gave me a lot of tips lmao- thankfully it doesn’t happen often, but there’s always one person who won’t shut up.
I had an interviewer just come out and ask if i had kids because she "needs someone who will make the job the priority". She also wanted to know if i lived in a 2 income house because she finds "people who need the money work harder". This was for a minimum wage part time job that required you to work at least 30 hours but never more than 31 hours per week with zero benefits ...
@@3katfox this was about 15 years ago I had no idea it was wrong. It felt weird. I had never been asked that before. But I honestly didn't know they weren't suppose to ask those questions let alone tell me exactly why they were asking. I didn't get the job either. Which I'm glad about now I bet it was a nightmare.
As a nurse I’ve always had employers disclose physical requirements of the job. My current place say I must be able to lift at least 50lbs for the safety of the residents. I feel like a better response would be “I’ve seen the physical requirements in the job description and will be able to meet those expectations”. It has less to do with personal story and more to do with safety and functionality in performing your role.
50 lbs? The average guy is 170 lbs, the average woman 120 lbs, by being able to lift 50 lbs you can save no one, especially when most people are obese as well.
@@Universal_Craftsman 120 lbs is a skinny woman, never mind if she's tall. My daughter is only 5'4", she weights a bit over 120 lbs, and she's very thin. The average woman isn't skinny, nor should she be. Try 140 lbs. That's a healthy weight. According to stats, the average woman weighs 170 lbs.
Also, be wary of the PA, secretary, assistant, minder person who greats you or takes you to tve room. Sometimes they are the ones who ask these questions in a cute conversational way. This is a trick. Never talk to those people either.
Well y’know that part? It wasn’t disrespectful but sometimes you can just tell. But don’t get too mad we don’t know her personally life. But Lola never told you did she?
Management is getting pretty ballsy these days with questions during interviews as well as inappropriate behavior. I recently resigned without putting in notice bc my boss came into the bathroom, banged on the stall door and told me I should have used the bathroom before clocking in. She said this as I hurriedly left the bathroom since she'd been holding the door while gesturing wildly towards the counter. After a few minutes of collecting my thoughts and weighing my options I grabbed my keys and purse and walked out the front door.
The last one! As a disabled person there are so many questions that I learned how to properly answer as well as many I know they are not allowed to ask about! Would love some videos out there with more of that for those who don’t know how to properly respond to invasive or straight up illegal questions.
I'm disabled with a disability employment plan and special accomodations (like not being allowed to be on my feet for an extended period of time), how do you suggest I answer the question honestly?
@Hadraniel.....yes, it'd be Great to get job interview tips for the disabled, especially if someone uses a cane, or if a physical prob is Noticeable. Plus, I'm sick of Getting a job, Compromising my Much Needed benefits, just to be Fired in 3 months, bc the Company just wanted the Tax Break & Govmnt Incentive money from Hiring a disabled. If a company gets Incentives for hiring the disabled, they should be Required to Keep Us On for at Least a year, & if we're Not Missing work, have to Prove we Deserve to be fired Before they're allowed to randomly kick us to the curb.
@@bubblesys Politely say you are able to do the necessary functions of the job. But if it feels like you'd be lying to say that, then that probably means you shouldn't apply for that job. And don't be TOO misleading, bc even if you don't technically lie, you probably don't want to start a job with your boss feeling like you've tricked them. Eg if an employer asks me if I can be on my feet with kids all day (and I don't want to share I'm disabled yet), I say something like "Don't worry, I've worked with kids before. I know how high energy they can be and I'm more than capable of keeping up with them". Which is completely true, with reasonable accommodations (including NOT being on my feet all day). Or if you feel like they're trying to weed out disabled people, like asking about lifting 50lbs when it's a desk job, you could politely ask how that's related to your job duties. But in that case I might not take the job at all since that seems like a bad environment
@@e.1766 They do have to prove you deserve to be fired, technically. At least in the USA, you can't be fired for being part of a protected group. They just do it anyways bc they assume you can't hire a lawyer or prove that's why they did it. In the future, you could try to keep thorough records of your work, your interactions with your boss, etc. So u have a better argument. If u can't pay for a lawyer, you could get legal aid or there r some lawyers who will work for a percentage of whatever payout u get.
I was in a job interview competition before for SkillsUSA & won gold in my state. Anyways before the competition, I've practiced answering , and the correct way to respond to these inappropriate questions is, "Im sorry, but how is this related to my job (position)?" Or "this question is personal for me to answer" because companies aren't allowed to ask you any personal questions unless it is related to your job.
i was said to my face NOT ASKED." So you have a 5 mo ths old baby... we not sure you perfect fit for this ROLE!!!" I DIDN'T KNOW ERIN SO I LAUGHED IT OFF... now realising they were being very unprofessional
O you are the one that’s unprofessional XD Do u even know why they ask that question? I highly doubt that. Yea it‘s illegal to ask, so what? What u want to do? The world does not resolve around you. It was your choice to have a kid and therefore you are the one in fault thinking that the companies have to do everything u want. U my lady, are delusional. U not only would leave ur team behind but also cause them trouble at the same time. Did that thought ever occur in ur emotional wired brain?
In my country, it has become illegal to ask a woman if she's planning on having kids in the near future, as companies use it to scratch out women they'll be obligated to pay while they're on maternity leave.
Inappropriate is the wrong word here: Illegal is better. All these questions are trying to work around anto discrimination laws. If they ask these questions in an interview and don't hire you they are opening up a massive lawsuit. FYI. On another note: if a company is not following basic hiring laws you really need to ask yourself is this a place I want to work.
How is this "illegal" exactly? And how are they opening themselves to a "massive" lawsuit "if they don't hire you"? So, you're saying these questions are legal if they are done as a "workaround" but only if they hire you? Where did you get your law degree?😂
@@heathernks8 Certain types of discrimination are illegal, at least in the USA. So not hiring someone because of their gender, age, marital status etc. They're trying to find out the information without obviously asking the questions that make it clear they're discriminating.
@@heathernks8 it's stereotype discrimination. Companies "don't want" to hire mothers (/wives) because they are likely to have to call off if a child is, leave early if a child gets sick. Take time off for a future pregnancy. The old idea that a wife gets a job, but her husband decides he doesn't want her working anymore because it's taking her away from the home and children, so they trained someone only to lose them quickly.
Thats way too reductive. Good luck proving that these questions are the reason you didn't get the job. Sure, you can file a lawsuit, but if its even just a decent size company with a barely qualified legal team its still almost a guaranteed loss for you. Then you're out a ton of time and money and you still don't have a job.
*This is a great video. I’d also add that people should consider locking down their social media during job application periods. Social media is how some employers obtain the answers to many of those illegal questions.*
@@jsharik2466a few ways: 1. change the name on your profile (so you’re harder to find OR 2. Restrict who can see your posts (make things less public). OR 3. Deactivate your account while on the job market.
I've Always gotten tripped up by these types of questions when they're Asked Repeatedly, but in a different way. Job interviews seem more like interrogations than interviews; this is a Really Helpful 'Stay on Point' video, Thanks so much! 👍🏼❤️
They get to ask if you're prepared to meet the physical requirements of the job. It's illegal to ask "Are you disabled?" Disabled people could still meet those physical requirements, there are many types of disabilities.
@@Izzy41630If you need accommodations for a disability (if your disability doesn’t require any accommodations whatsoever it is not disabling by definition) your employer needs to know so they can provide them. They are legally required to and if you get sick or injured because you didn’t inform them they could face legal consequences for not providing the accommodations. This means they are less likely to keep you in employment after you recover and won’t provide you insurance because you lied to them.
Yup. It just needs to be phrased better. One of my older jobs have physical requirements so they ask "Due to the nature of this job, we're required to ask Are you capable of lifting at least 30lbs and standing/walking for long hours?" and exactly that. You're welcome to disclose if you need any accommodations, but they're not alloweds to straight up ask you if you have "any conditions"
I'm autistic, but I've had jobs in the service industry. I love working with customers, but if an employee found out I was autistic during the interview process, they would probably assume I'm bad at communication and politeness, and not give me the job.
When I was 18 I went to a job interview to be a receptionist at a physical therapists office. Almost as soon as I sat down the interviewer started asking me a bunch of intrusive questions about my political beliefs and arguing with me about them. He then asked me about my physical disability and proceeded to spend the rest of the interview performing a physical exam of my back and offering unsolicited, very uninformed medical advice about what I should do to fix my chronic back condition. He asked me zero questions about my qualifications and I'm guessing he knew he wasn't going to hire me as soon as I walked in the door. I was super young and inexperienced and didn't know how to say no so I just went along with everything. I was trying really hard not to upset him and to answer all his intrusive questions in order to not "ruin my chances." I wish I had known it was okay not to answer and that behavior was totally inappropriate. In retrospect I should have ended the interview early and left as soon as he started prying.
@@kdphotos4691 Exactly! No interview questions and no interest in hiring OP. He just created excuses to touch OP. Very creepy. To anyone reading this: Never let anyone pressure you into being touched or being put in a vulnerable position if you aren't comfortable with it. If they respected/valued you, they'd never want to do anything that makes you so uncomfortable. If they don't respect/value you, they aren't worth your time.
Could you please talk about how to discuss physical and mental health symptoms that do require accomodations/can affect our work with employers without hurting ourselves in the process? Thank you!
generally you should answer probing questions truthfully without divulging details, as she did in the sample answer she provided, and then once you have the job offer, you can disclose more information and bring up any accommodations you may need so that they can be added to the offer. (and make sure you record this in writing, such as via email.) in the united states, it is illegal to make hiring decisions based on disability (unless it would completely impede you from doing the job, like the job absolutely requires heavy lifting but you physically can't lift at all), but if you disclose it during the interview and then don't get the job, you can't know for certain if you were discriminated against. if you wait until you have the job offer, the employer can't rescind that offer without making it look like they're doing something illegal.
@@breensproutThis is good advice, but what really helps is that employers can’t easily fire people anymore, because there aren’t replacements lined up. Circa 2010, it was very easy for employers to unload employees for any reason with some excuse like “working too slowly” or “layoffs”, or even with no reason given at all. I was “quiet fired” from McDonald’s by a popular tactic of cutting my hours to hardly anything claiming none were available while others were still working full time so I would look for another job and quit instead of the messiness of having to be officially fired. 🙄
Check out Ask A Manager. Alison's blog has tons of fantastic information around disabilities in hiring, requesting accommodations, when to disclose, etc. Her commentariat is also among the best on the internet. :)
i once got asked “how do your parents feel about your tattoos?” during a job interview and i was dumbfounded. tattoos were allowed in their dress code and none of mine are offensive or off putting in anyway. i responded with “well my dad was a tattoo artist and passed away so i like having things on me to remember him by.” … i shouldn’t of had to disclose that in an interview! it was so unprofessional and judgmental
I was asked once about avaialability for certain hours in an interview, and the manager asked me if i’m having childcare issues (I don’t have kids). This is a sneaky, work around way to ask about children. I politely told her that she respectfully can’t ask me that. I lot of interviewers actually don’t know what is considered illegal. Basically, i’m certain she didn’t know what she was asking and was just trying to figure out my lack of availability on certain days.
Quite right about many interviewers not knowing. So far in every company I've worked for, managers were elevated out of the team without any kind of training or guidance, nor even a reference to expectations. The same companies typically hold to "manager, manage it" in regards to indicated issues, including a clear and simple "our team is already filled beyond 100% so this new project cannot be expected to be done in short order on top of everything else". It's a great way to ruin employees for life.
Never work for a someone who doesn't know these very basic industrial relations laws. If they're that reckless and unprofessional, they need to be avoided like the plague.
I literally got rejected by a company bc when I spoke to their recruiter, they told me that the hiring manager said “she lives too far, how will she commute?”. I told them that’s not their business and if given the opportunity I’ll find a way. They still weren’t budging and said sorry we’re not moving forward with your application. It really pissed me off bc I was thinking why are they judging me based on something in my personal life which isn’t their business and something I said I’ll work on? I realized later that it was just an excuse bc the company just didn’t want me. I dodged a bullet tho bc I found a muchhhhhh better company which im now a part of, and I feel very much appreciated and valued 😊
That sounds… completely reasonable on their part. They raised a valid question about whether the length of commute would affect your availability, and you gave the vapid non-answer “I’ll find a way”? Why would they want to gamble on you “finding a way”? Or have to deal with the kind of employee who gets snippy about legitimate questions?
from someone who hired me "someone who has a long commute everyday will eventually get burned out." completely valid reason to not hire someone. because it's true. I lived an hour away but had 3 months to graduate and would move there after. 3 months of an hour drive one way was fucking draining. don't be mad at them, it's reasonable, and they do that because it's happened to them before.
I think the one where they state the physically demanding nature of the job and ask if you have any conditions they should be aware of is a really great question! It's really important someone knows what the job demands when they're going into it, and it's great to hear that the employer wants to know if there's anything they need to be aware of in case the potential employee might need access arrangements. It's a great question.
No, it’s a horrible question to a legit job requirement. Bad: do you have any medical problems? Okay: can you physically perform the physical requirements of this job, like lifting heavy objects, and walking to tables.
Still going through a unlawful dismissal case from my last job. They asked me at the interview stage if I had any medical conditions that would hinder me working at this job. I steered them away from the question and got the job. I put in a reasonable request letter referring to my Pcos and that I would occasionally just need a few moments to myself for bathroom breaks etc. I was later 'let go' as they felt I actually wasnt a good fit due to me taking so much time 'slacking off' in the bathroom and had I told them at interview stage I wouldn't have been considered. Her face when I told her that what she was doing was illegal and I'd contact my lawyers lol
thank you. maybe if enough people who are able to go through with legal action do so, others without the means to do so themselves might stand a chance.
Before I let you go, I’d look at your productivity. The only way you’re gonna win this is if you can show you were able to complete just as much work as others in your role despite your “breaks.”
@@Elladril they stated that their management literally stated they wouldn't have considered them for the job if they had known they had any kind of disability or needed extra help. It had nothing to do about their work, and all about the fact they weren't fully able bodied.
@@Elladril This doesn’t matter because they literally stated that they wouldn’t hire anyone who is disabled or had bodily issues 💀 That’s called discrimination, and shocker, it’s illegal to do that when you’re trying to hire people.
When someone asks you an illegal question during a job interview, that's a red flag. You're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you. Do you want to work for someone who asks you if you're planning on maternity leave?
It's perfectly normal to ask about some personal stuff in the Netherlands.. It helps to create a bond. It does however depend on how the interviewer responds to the answers.
Sometime there may be a reason for the medical questions. We hired someone who did not tell us they were epileptic. That was a big issue. We design and manufacture high powered strobe lights for aviation navigation. They are all over the building.
I once had an interview where they asked me "how often do you and your husband go for dates?" I asked why it was relevant, and they said it was to see how much availability I had in the evenings. I politely excused myself and told them that job wouldn't have been for me.
They could have just asked how much availability you had in the evenings...I feel like some employers ask these "your boyfriend" or "your husband" questions to try to probe if a woman is a lesbian...
I love this. It’s great when an employee has the self-awareness to know they aren’t the right fit and gracefully bows out. We’re looking for go-getters who wanna put in 70+h a week, not folks who value their “work-life balance.”
@@Tail_sezExactly. We already filter out registered democrats, but finding out if she’s a lesbian is valid because we are very careful not to infect the workplace with anyone who might be “woke,” and thus more likely to push for a union or make sexual harassment complaints.
In my first company I was looking for a change of project and I was interviewing with many projects/teams. They used to ask "Are you married?" I wasn't so I used to say "No". Then "Are you having any plan to get married this year? Just want to know your leave plan". Then in a particular interview since I was curious how they respond if I said I'm married to the above question I said "Yes". The next question was "Are you having kids?" -"No" "Are you planning to go on maternity leave this year?" I was like *you want to make me feel bad about being a female*. That was it I moved on from the crappy workplace.
Omg, I actually had a very similar interview before! Like they asked me if I was married and I thought that was fine, maybe they wanted to share info about benefits but when they prodded about why I didn't have a partner and any future plans of having kids, I felt so weirded out that I turned it back to them and asked "Sorry, may I know the purpose of these questions?" And they immediately looked embarrassed lol.
Tbh as man I got the same questions. Apparently they felt that my potentially needing to care for a partner and young child would pull my attention away from the job. Not everything is about being female. Sometimes people are just being cunts in general.
Most of those questions were unnecessary, but the last one (the one relating to being on one's feet all the time) I can somewhat understand, as a company could make arrangements to help make the job easier to manage if one does say that they have any physical ailments prior to starting.
I’ve been asked about my disability. When I told them the accommodation, they immediately said they find it interesting and immediately cut the interview short with “we have other candidates to interview and we will get back to you in 7-10 days.” They never call back..ever.
It's for the best. Because then you wouldn't been treated well there. I always say exactly what health issues I have, to see how they will react and would that be a problem. I found a job now where people are so freaking lovely even I feel slightly unwell they offer me a chair even if I'm okay without it. So it's better be open and then you will see their true colours.
Yes, it got to where I could tell that I wouldn't get the job by how the interviewer said goodbye at the end of the interview. "It was nice to meet you" means they aren't going to hire you.
@@ViktorijaBastetei definitely found this tactic worth it, led to finding a much more pleasant workplace, but when you REALLY need the job.... i always tell people disclose and ask for accommodation after. legally you can still ask for accommodation after being hired. its much harder to hide discrimination when you were hired, asked for accomodation, and then were let go of right after. employers are less likely to risk a eeoc case when its easier to prove lol. but in my experience the other tactic is to make your work as miserable as possible so you quit yourself LOL so you still risk that.
I was in a supermarket parking lot today. The cart wrangler wouldn't take my cart; he said he could only take five at a time. I didn't know there was a word for it until I read the comments here, but I figured maybe that was an accommodation. Either that, or the company is really looking out for its employees. But not the customers' cars if a cart goes sailing. I guess it's on the customers to corral their carts.
This is exactly why i shifted my career from marketing ( corporate ) to a gym trainer and I'm loving it. No interviews, no meetings, no memorising interview answers and scripts, no BS. The pay might be lower but i don't care, the relief is insane.
I'm looking for a job and I rejected to offers bc of these vibes that give me depression even thinkng about an office job. Working from home helped me a lot but after a trauma with violence they were very disrespectful even though I worked hard despite being assaulted and going through nightmare in private life. Eventually I left. Sold apartment now renting.left finance job and now in dilemma what's next. I want to do something else but savings are going down rapidly but thinkng of office culture gives me intense apathy. I have 5 months left to find an alternative. I'm thinking to move to Spain bc of lower rents. Wish i never sold my apartment but it is what it is and stay positive that I will find a job that won't invade my privacy and no manipulative games.
my managers have always been lovely & talkative and I answered personal questions like this just because I felt very comfortable doing so. Been working there for just under half a year now. I think it heavily depends on the demeanor of your interviewer & whether it seems like they're asking these questions with an alterior motive. Some people just like to chat to see if you're bubbly & talkative which is needed for some job roles.
I was asked what church I went to. They insisted I tell them because they "required" their employees to go to church every Sunday to worship the lord and they had to be able to check up on us to make sure we went. It was a receptionist job at a chiropractors office. What the hell? I just left.
NGL my grandparents were in the overlap of "psychotic white people health shit without *any* of the fun stuff from the 70's.plus were gonna let a dude fuck.with your tiny developing back" and Southern Baptists the recruitment overlap is... *Very fucking high*
@@DipMaster20 I think they can ask if you require any accommodations to perform the job. They're not supposed to ask directly about any physical conditions you have.
It depends on how badly you need a job. If you were to respond the way that this video recommends to these inappropriate questions, you'll later hear that they're "going in a different direction".
@@DipMaster20 The last one is right on the line. Asking if someone is physically able to fulfill the requirements of the job is legitimate, but asking if someone requires reasonable disability accommodations in order to do so is not. A wise employer will simply ask if you're able to complete a particular task, without raising the broader question of "any physical issues".
@@earthwormscrawlyes! I tried this during an interview and it got very awkward after. He kept bringing it up throughout the interview then. He kept trying to ask if I was married and had kids.
Wild when you try them and you're accused of being "rude", "arrogant" and "disrespectful" for not answering their inappropriate questions as they wanted
Once I got asked “what’s the worst thing you have ever done without getting caught?” I said “I’ll have to get back to that.” And never ended up answering 😂
I remember back in high school, during a French class we were supposed to do a comic with a job interview for the sake of vocabulary and stuff. However, the comic included a panel where the lady was asked whether she plans on having kids, how many, whether she would soon be pregnant, is she pregnant now... that type of stuff, so instead of doing the lesson as usual, our teacher explained to us that such questions are illegal to be asked and how to avoid answering them. I think she later wrote to whoever issued the textbook and complained
During training for a new job the manager was helping us fill out a form we didn’t understand and she said “oh don’t worry about that, there’s no way either one of you are married”😂😭
I used to not inform the hiring manager/HR about my epilepsy, because I felt I would be dismissed. About 10 years ago, I started mentioning it, because my health and safety are important, and if they can't accommodate a neurological condition I have no control over, then I don't want to work there. My current company is wonderful. They know about my epilepsy, and allow me to attend doctor's appointments without punishment, even if it's during my shift. They know I can't drive, and rely on my boyfriend or Lyft, so they understand my occasional tardiness and they bring documents to my worksite instead of requiring me to come to their office. My supervisor is extremely understanding, as well, and I'm his relief M-F, so he's the one affected on the days I'm a little late. He just asks for a texted heads up if I'm not going to be my normal time (10-15 minutes early), so he's kept updated.
Yeah, physical conditions are Tricky, one IS supposed to Not ASK and Not mention it to avoids discrimination, but a lack of accomodation IS also discrimination and in many cases can Put your life and possably Others at risk!!! Like IT would Not BE Safe to have me Drive a car, IT plain would Not. I can Work at a Wood working Maschine Up to the Point where I say I can Not anylonger at that Moment. This needs Trust though. I am more then willing to pull my weight at any time possible, but when I cant preformed a Task safely at that given time . . .i need to BE able to communicate that!
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions. Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances. If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for. 🚩
Erin, what if I *am* physically disabled in some way? How would I respond to that question about physical ability? Would the response be different if I have a proper diagnosis vs if I do not yet have a diagnosis, just symptoms? I am just wondering how to balance actually finding employment with having the proper accomodations at said job. Thanks so much if you take the time to answer, i love your videos and trust your advice!
Why is it so common for people to ask if someone is trying for kids in the near future? I can get it if it's like a parent or a sibling, but I would never ask a stranger "so do you have regular unprotected sex?" which is essentially what it means to be trying for a child.
Employers don’t want to deal with a pregnant woman or new mother. She might not be 100% focused on being their slave! This is likely why childfree women finally get paid as much as childfree men- at age 50. 🤦♀️
Because parents have responsibilities and priorities outside of the workplace, which can inconvenience employers. In my case, my spouse has a job they can only leave in emergencies, so my employer gets to deal whenever I need to pick up a sick kid from school, take them to an appointment during the work day, etc. Also, I'm not going to work late because that interferes with our family rhythm. My family is my priority. (Not every parent is like this! My spouse does not have the luxury of time that I do for things like these appointments. But this is how OUR family works.)
@@misspatvandriverlady7555That’s exactly right. We rarely hire a woman of childbearing age, but when we do, we have a statistical formula to account for the odds that she becomes pregnant or takes medical leave (women also use much more healthcare than men - which is reflected in the premiums we have to pay to insure a woman - and are much more likely to miss work with a cold), and these costs are calculated into the maximum compensation we will offer. By age 50, if she’s still a single career woman, she’s basically 95% as good as man.
It’s just sexism. Companies think that mothers are less committed to their work. Women being married means they might have kids so they are therefore less valuable. But at the same time, a man who is married gets paid more than an unmarried one because it’s a sign that he’s more “responsible”. And of course it’s just a fact that women get paid less than men in general because apparently women are just worth less, period.
Ha! Our workplace makes applicants fill a form that asks ladies if they are married, have had kids and WHEN DID THEY HAVE THEIR LAST PERIODS I kid you not. Ghana. Wild. Government job.
That's actually insane, I assume the period question is to try and gauge if they're pregnant but they could be on birth control or have some medical conditions or menopause/early menopause Which honestly trying to guage if a potential employee is pregnant is incredibly inappropriate.
LMAO! Id love to answer that question. 10 years... and just watch all the blaffed men wondering why a 29 year old hasn't had a period for that long. (contraceptive injection)
Wtf- thats so creepy and also really sad that if youre a women, you have to actually hide that youre married or have kids, but for guys, they dont give a crap about them 🤦♀️ 🤦♀️
I have a feeling that along with discrimination against pregnant/menopausal women, that last question could also come with discrimination against trans women
The question about if the candidate can meet the physical requirements of the job is 100% appropriate and does not belong on this list. I'm very upfront with potential employers about my physical limitations, but not everyone is, or may need to be reminded to mention it. "Can you do X task on the job description" is always appropriate, be that task a matter of skill or a matter of physical ability.
@@rexlongfellow and tbh not everyone's as skillfully slippery as erin is with all these answers, so just answering their questions would be a better option
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions. Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances. If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for.
Im flexible on things like this, nothing to hide. I know everyone is different but sometimes it feels more of a conversation. I was asked a few personal questions i open honestly with a smile and got the job.
"Physical Conditions" is actually a question you have to answer in a lot of countries. They will even want a health report to ensure you do not have an existing condition.
Both my school van driver and medical van driver jobs have required physicals and drug tests. Kinda makes sense for a job driving vulnerable populations, though.
One time I was asked in a job interview if I'd had surgery in the last year. I wish I knew then that they weren't allowed to ask that, because I wouldn't have answered. But I did answer, simply saying "yes, however it will not affect my ability to fulfil the requirements of this job". I was then asked a question which I knew was illegal, which was "what kind of surgery was it?" I asked her to repeat the question (in an attempt to have her realise her mistake and move on), to which she replied "I need to know what kind of surgery it was so that I know it won't affect your work capabilities." I would've let it go, but I wanted her to see WHY you don't ask people that... through tears I replied that I needed an emergency D&C for a complicated missed miscarriage. She didn't even apologise. She just said "ok that's great, that won't affect your work". I cannot believe that people like that are allowed to work in management. Clearly YOU are not capable of fulfilling the requirements of your job if you're asking people shit like that in an interview.
@@Miss_Sylvie- Exactly, don't tell workmates anything about your personal life. They're asking for a reason, not because they want to get to know you.
True! I was raped in my own apartment. I went back to work after 2 months but told the manager I don't think I'm able to get back to fulltime so instead asked if i could work 36 hours a week. I was almost killed in my house, instead of support he said: then maybe 'one' will think you are taking advantage of tge situation ( of being raped and strangled by a psycho! Working 4 hours less! I could have been sick with a burn out! ) Just wow.
I asked some of the questions you recommended to ask when the interviewer asks if there's anything I had questions about. The company has a second interview policy but the interviewer said he was definitely making sure I got a second interview and even said "wow, that's a good question!" The first question I asked was "what is your favorite part of working here?" Going to pick out some other questions for my second interview. Fingers crossed! Thank you for this channel!!!
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions. Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances. If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for. 🚩
Especially as someone who can get pregnant: NEVER answer the "do you want kids" question. Even in a country where it's officially forbidden to discriminate under this reason. Just put yourself in the manager 's shoes... You can say it if it's a temporary job and do know you are planning a pregnancy right after 😅
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions. Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances. If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for.
Once your hired you either answer the questions or not. Perhaps your boss or coworkers are just curious, or are considering getting married themselves and want to know if it's a good idea
@@Skimmers1495 that's your choice. It's really about the person asking the question. They want to know who's on the dating market or who they could turn to for advice. Who can they invite to a party, etc.
Well that last one is actually kinda important, like if you have rheumatoid arthritis or a fused vertebrae and the job requires fine motor skills or lifting, the employer should know that, if youre fired for productivity reasons but if its ultimately a health condition they might work with you.
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions. Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances. If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for.
@@b3thann3You were spamming variations of that comment a month before this one. Did you come back to the video, find your old comments, and copy them to continue pasting basically the same comment over and over?
I interviewed for an internship the other day and the first question they asked was how is your relationship with your family 💀 very inappropriate especially since my parents are going through divorce.. anyways the role was for “financial advisor” turns out they really wanted me to sell insurance and especially to my family 💀😂
I would have told them "their dead thanks" with the straightest face possible even if they are currently living...ask uncomfortable questions get uncomfortable answers XD
In some countries/states, it is illegal for an employer to ask those kind of questions. No one should want to work for an employer who asks those kind of questions. 🚩
It's been a long time since I've dealt with questions like this, but I've also used, "I understand what questions like this are designed to uncover, and I'd prefer we stay focused on my qualifications." I remember this because when I was hired, my new boss said it was the most polite and professional refusal out of all the applicants. :D
I went to my older brother’s job interview for support since he has troubles speaking to a person directly, and relies on others - and the interviewer literally asked him: ‘Is something wrong with you? Were you dropped as a kid or something?’ - and we immediately left right after 💀
Dude I would have reported them for disability discrimination. WTAF is wrong with people like that and how do they get employed in the first effing place? Gross mfr
lol I had an interviewer claim that in order for me to get ADA accommodations I'd have to prove in real time the health issue I have (POTS--basically, if I stay standing up for more than 20-40 minutes depending on the day, I risk passing out). I asked what they meant. They said they need to see me physically pass out at work first before they'll give them to me. I told them that's not how the law works. They said it is. I said it's not, I just need some medical paperwork. They told me I could leave. Bullet dodged. 🙃
Another tip, if management or HR is asking inappropriate questions, ALWAYS get it in writing. The best way is to have them put it in writing as an email, but if they don't (which is likely) the next best thing is to write out a summary of what was said and send it to HR/management in an email. Don't accuse them of discrimination or harassment outright, but just summarize what was said and what was decided so that they have notice that they discriminated without the unpleasantness of getting angry or accusatory. Courtesy and frankness will get you much further than anger and emotions, and will make your case stronger if you end up filling a labor complaint. It feels good to tell off someone in the moment that they wrong you, but you will get far more justice by remaining calm and maintaining professionalism.
Have you ever been asked an inappropriate/illegal question in a job interview…? 😅
In internship/job interviews, we are asked if we face mental health issues. According to seniors in my law school, those who admit their poor mental health are never shortlisted.
I had an awkward job interview moment where I was referring to my partner (who uses they/them pronouns) and the woman interviewing me looked aghast and said “oh?? more than one?” 😭
another thing about this interview - they were asking me all sorts of questions about: if like where i live, if i plan on moving in the next 10 years, if my partner has a job. is that legal?
Erin what if you do have a physical condition that accommodations could help how do you answer that?
@@charliephilip6864i think these things should be discussed when you receive the job offer, not during interview
@@eliquinta I know but I've still been asked during interviews
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for. 🚩
Agreed!! The last company I worked for asked all those questions and they were toxic ASF. I really regret accepting the position.
I was asked these questions because the company gave specific benefits. It was a resort and they gave health insurance to family members even though I live in a country with public health, kids and husband could eat at the stuff restaurant for free, had a discount for the gym and poll. That was a nice job. On the other hand minimum wage and to far away from town.
For large businesses I totally agree, but for single location/small businesses without a proper HR department, they may not realize they're asking invasive/illegal questions. This video really helps one not self incriminate and lose potential jobs due to disability, family, or romantic orientation.
@@user-yd8qe4lj2m that's nice, but in my case they wanted to know all those things because they don't want to hire someone with any family plans. They needed someone "hands on" that will only focus on their work. And I was not allowed to phone in sick cause my workload is too demanding if I'm sick the work will provide meds and stuff. Like who does that? Happy I left the company best decision, however getting a new job has been a struggle ever since.
But right now the industry market favors employers by a lot so you have to either pick your battles or choose a different sector
Many years back, before an interview, I deliberately removed my wedding ring bc I didn't want my marital staus to influence. They wanted to hire me and discussed the salary. When I had to return for an interview with him and a dept head, I inadvertently mentioned 'husband.' Sure enough, that salary was suddenly lower than previously quoted. Maybe it's not done as much now (think it's illegal and should never be done!), but back then (1990) they figured you didn't need as much money if you were married. I just thanked them for their time and went elsewhere. Happened to a professional friend of mine too. Crazy!
That happens to many women. The men are paid more because they are the “bread winners” even if the woman is a single mom or is supporting the family (ie husband is sick or unemployed)
@@fluffytail6355
Since your reply was written in present tense, I'm assuming this sh$t still goes on. Holy cow. My experience was more than 30 years ago, and it seemed so antiquated even then. It was also the only time it happened...I'd had several jobs at varying levels for years before and after this incident. I decided to do into business for myself shortly after this bs, so haven't had to deal with someone else playing games and deciding my worth for a long time. Stay strong out there!
PS...My mom, waaay back before she had kids (1950's), was a freelance illustrator in the NY advertising industry (and remained so for 40 years). Her then-husband was going to school and had a part-time job. Mom earned more than him as a self-employed freelancer but he had that 'regular' predictable job lenders love, so when they applied for a small bank loan her varied but much better yearly income was dismissed. Going on his then-income alone, the loan was denied. So they saved and then bought what they wanted outright. So ridiculous.
@@fluffytail6355How would they even know that the woman is married to a man? That's a very foolish assumption to make nowadays!
@@psychandtheology To be entirely fair, it is of course inappropriate to have someone's marital status affect your hiring decisions in any way, but if someone is married, odds still are that it's a straight marriage, just statistically speaking. That said, maybe just don't bring it up and assume stuff about people you don't know, right :D
@@sxwrtr918 it is still very much going on these days
"who do you live with?"
"Sorry, can you repeat the question?"
"who do you live with?"
"Sorry, can you repeat the question?"
youre now stuck in an endless loop
A good response could be “my family” it gives zero indication on what your home life looks like and they probably wont ask further questions as to not look nosy
@@danelisslow3269"who do you live with?"
It's more of a *need another 5-10 seconds to form a response* gesture than something that says "that won't be an issue".
One employer asked me if I was married. I smiled and said "The job description says you are looking for someone who is highly detailed oriented and has good insight,...oh! you have lovely wife is that your son?" He froze and asked how I knew he was married and had a kid and I pointed at the photo behind him. He was unnerved for the rest of the interview. Dont ask about marital status if you're not willing to be asked about yours.
You teached him a lesson and maybe changed his behavior who knows.
Unfortunately I think many companies work a bit / feel like a sekt or cult.
You are not giving an interview if you don’t want to be asked questions don’t apply for a job
@@Jashuatadglock95 Sure as long as they are professional or genuine questions without calculating intentions in relation to personal life.
@Jashuatadglock95 Asking about marital status during interviews is ILLEGAL.
@@Jashuatadglock95 an interview is a two way conversation, its business for both participants. If they can ask me questions I can ask them questions. An employer is seeing if you are a good fit for the job. You are seeing if an employer meets your need. Just like any business discussion a contractor can refuse to work for someone who treats them bad and a customer can refuse a contractor who treats them bad.
I had one interviewer ask me why i didnt have any kids, me being the person i am, just told the truth, ive had chronic hypothyroidism for years so im probably infertile.
The silence after that was horrible.
They asked you an absurd question, you answered and now THEY are taken aback by your response? The audacity
@beepboop8276 mate, I know lol I found the question bizarre
@@HillbillyYEEHAAgood for you for saying it how it is. You did nothing wrong you just just answered. I hope the silence was unbearable for them
"So what did we learn about asking inappropriate questions?"
Lmaooooooo naw same though.
me watching this as a 15 yr old who has no sense plans to get a job....yet i take note of most of your tips
Edit: 1. I am going to get an internship. An internship where i live is mostly or entirely shadowing
2. my parents do not want me to work
3.i cannot drive until i am 18 where i live. hence i don't need to save for a car at 15
Fr as a 15 year old girl I’m taking mental notes on what to do when they ask if I’m going to have kids because I know damn well I will never get a mans
@@CLHoofie ikr😭 besides my parents dont even want me to work yet most ill get is an internship lmao.
Literally me but at 16
hmmm I will keep this in mind 😂
It's a good thing that you do though. Places will be more likely to hire you, if you seem professional.
I'm 17 going on 18, and got hired when I had just turned 16.
People are willing to hire newcomers with no experience. It's just a case of how you carry yourself and how you communicate.
It may sound early, but start putting together a CV, in the next year or two. It will help if it's already done, when you decide to finally apply for a job.
@@Number81ght yeah true, I’m so glad though that I’m not immature for my age I’m pretty smart and have my head on straight
"sorry, I prefer to keep my personal life and my work life separate" or "do you mind if I ask what brings that to mind?"
“They are two different things that shouldnt be mixed”
I do this fr fr I’ve never told anyone at work anything about my personal life and (I think) they all believe I’m really competent and great at my job
Absolutely on that second question, make them say the quiet part out loud
And this is why you can write this from the comfort of your childhood bedroom. You have just created a confrontational situation where there wasn't one. Should you have to answer the questions? No.
But bear in mind, to use a sports analogy, you are in their home ballpark. Any thing that slows the flow of the interview will be read as you being a difficult person, and therefore they don't want to work with you. But at least you have your integrity. I hope you can eat on that. But, if I don't miss my guess, and this is where you lie and tell me you're self-supporting, your bills are already paid for. I gather this because if you had ever had a real job, you would know better than to offer the advice you are giving.
@@TerryTutor-cv3hhThey absolutely do not need to know anything about your personal life. Period. Why are you shaming people into giving a company information they absolutely do not need? Can they do the job? That is all that matters. I’m guessing you own a business and you like to be way too involved in your employees lives.
“When did you graduate high school?” “When I was 18.” 😂
_"Tell me a little about yourself."_
_"Well, I was born at a very young age..."_
Perfect answer
Good one 🤣
@CoreyBurbank That's a great one!
The problem is if you refuse to answer, they assume your hiding because the info puts you at a disadvantage. They'll assume you're pregnant, have kids, a criminal record, etc.
I refused to answer the criminal record question, well I think they assumed I was some criminal or something even if they could've checked my criminal record by themselves, they didn't reject me they just told me to "Please avoid any kind of inappropriate behaviors like the ones you may have had in the past", yeah, I did not take that fucking job
In some/most countries/states, it is illegal for companies to ask those questions.
If a company asks those questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for.
🚩
Refusing to answer simple questions like who you live with or if you are married is a great way to get the interviewer to think you are a dick. Even if you have this principle of it being against regulations, great, then don't get the job because you didn't want to say "I live with my partner".
Answering it in a smart way is the way to go. Like the last answer, that was good. If you think getting married soon keeps you from getting the job just say "We are not sure when yet". Not answering basic questions which are intended to get you to talk about yourself and get a rapport going is an awful idea.
certainly not. Getting someone to talk about themselves could be “tell me a little about yourself “ what do you like to do for fun” how do you like to spend free time etc but asking someone their martial status or if they have children is not really something an employer should do
@@DeathBlocks An interviewer does not need to know who you live with or your marital status. People don't need to entertain these leading questions. In fact, they're illegal for interviewers to ask.
One trick interviewers will pull is asking details about your potential commute, in order to get a sense of your financial status/personal life. They might be less willing to hire someone who uses public transit instead of owning a car, for instance. Assure them that you can get to work on time every day, you don't need to explain exactly how if you don't want to.
Distance is also a factor. Employers want the assurance that you're going to be there every shift, on time ("I'm stuck in traffic!" Might be true on your hour-long commute almost every day, compared to never when you live only 8 minutes up the road). Edit to add: being able to describe the journey in terms of time is very helpful.
I always ask "how was it getting here? Any trouble finding the place?" If they say "fine" I get nothing out of it, but if they say "yeah y'know it normally only takes about 30min for me to get to this area but today I hit some mid-morning traffic..." or whatever, it tells me that they're aware of their time and the area, and they're thinking realistically about the day-to-day of working here. If they say "I'm an hour and a half away, but I love the views..." I might dig into that a little more, like can you really do this 5 days a week or are you going to be swapping shifts constantly?
They already do this - - they will ask for proof of car insurance in order to be screened through the HR process, and make up some excuse why... often they will not even consiser you without this and if a candidate says, "Oh I use public transit (or rideshare service)," they often will write them off as not having reliable transportation. Completely legal but really messed up as it puts put a classist employment barrier upon those who can't afford a vehicle or have physical/mental health reasons for not driving yet fully capable of doing the job.
That wouldn’t work in London 😂
@@TheLadyBlerdit’s actually not legal in all states. I’m in Oregon and it’s not legal to consider a candidates transportation method unless the actual job requires it. For example we can require a drivers license if the job they do requires them to drive. We can require information about if you own a vehicle if the position requires you to use your own vehicle for business purposes. It doesn’t count if it’s just to make sure you have reliable transportation. They can ask if you have reliable transportation but if you can get there reliably by bus and ride share you can say yes and that’s that.
My brother applied for 10 or so entry level jobs and even went through a job agency and was told he was denied jobs because he took public transit. Not like you can get a car if you can’t get a job. He was only 19.
I got a phone call from a company looking to fill a position. A few current employees knew me and thought I would be a good fit so they passed my number along.
A week before the interview, somebody who knew the company & the hiring manager, told me to remove the car seat out of the back of my truck.
His exact words were, "the manager will walk people out to their vehicles and look inside them to see if there are car seats in your car or any signs of little kids. If he sees a car seat he won't hire you. And don't mention you have a man in your life, he definitely won't hire you. "
I did not go to the interview.
Sounded like that man was going to harass you. Good call!
I'll take "workplaces to run away from" for 500, Alex
Sounds like discrimination
Nice fake story
@Kommander_Rahnn 😆, does it strike a nerve for you personally?
Everything I stated is true, and that place is still in business, with the same guy as the Lead there.
You can think whatever you'd like, and it doesn't hurt my feelings at all.
Have a great day being salty to random strangers on the internet.
"So, do you plan on having any children?"
"What does that have to do with this position?"
"Just trying to get to know you."
"That's private, next question."
That's literally what I'd say at this point. I'm almost 30 and too crusty to give a fuck. If they don't hire me because I set boundaries, then good.
At the same time, a business owner will obviously want to know if a person is planning on having kids soon. If I owned my own small business, I really don't want to hire a person who is gonna need maternity leave within the first year. That just means I have to hire someone else to work during their maternity whilst also paying for said maternity.
Asking people to repeat the question (especially if they spoke clearly/simply) is a great one. It's basically saying, "I'm giving you a chance to rethink what you just said." If they DO repeat themselves without changing the problematic aspect of the question, it's time to go. 😅
i do this all the time 💀 most of my peers are men so usually i get odd comments about my intelligence or capabilities. another good trick is to just stay quiet and stare at them with a blank expression, especially if it’s in a group setting. my mom also has mostly male coworkers so she gave me a lot of tips lmao- thankfully it doesn’t happen often, but there’s always one person who won’t shut up.
I do this anyways because of my LPD, lol. But I def like this trick.
@@juno3281why is it that men are genuinely always so hard to work with and always have to be so unprofessional and creepy for no reason
@@bloodycupcake00 You must be joking right?
Indeed it happened to me. The person itself realised the question was so inappropiated that said: nevermind. Really fast
I had an interviewer just come out and ask if i had kids because she "needs someone who will make the job the priority". She also wanted to know if i lived in a 2 income house because she finds "people who need the money work harder". This was for a minimum wage part time job that required you to work at least 30 hours but never more than 31 hours per week with zero benefits ...
Those are the kind of employers that complain the loudest about regulations.
PLEASE tell me you reported them
@@3katfox this was about 15 years ago I had no idea it was wrong. It felt weird. I had never been asked that before. But I honestly didn't know they weren't suppose to ask those questions let alone tell me exactly why they were asking. I didn't get the job either. Which I'm glad about now I bet it was a nightmare.
These are the people who love control but they control a very very tiny puddle.
Was it Walmart? They are known for trying to get people to work basically for full time but not have to give benefits.
As a nurse I’ve always had employers disclose physical requirements of the job. My current place say I must be able to lift at least 50lbs for the safety of the residents. I feel like a better response would be “I’ve seen the physical requirements in the job description and will be able to meet those expectations”. It has less to do with personal story and more to do with safety and functionality in performing your role.
Does the 50lbs have handles ?
50 lbs? The average guy is 170 lbs, the average woman 120 lbs, by being able to lift 50 lbs you can save no one, especially when most people are obese as well.
The average woman 120 lbs? I don't think so!
@@dammar117 I chose the numbers very conservative, and that's the weight people should have, but the real numbers are higher off course.
@@Universal_Craftsman 120 lbs is a skinny woman, never mind if she's tall. My daughter is only 5'4", she weights a bit over 120 lbs, and she's very thin. The average woman isn't skinny, nor should she be. Try 140 lbs. That's a healthy weight.
According to stats, the average woman weighs 170 lbs.
Also, be wary of the PA, secretary, assistant, minder person who greats you or takes you to tve room. Sometimes they are the ones who ask these questions in a cute conversational way. This is a trick. Never talk to those people either.
"Are you and your husband getting married this year?"
"Who said I had a husband?"
"Also how... could I be getting married to my husband think about order of operations there..."
@@petitmains😆 fr
How can you have a husband if you're NOT YET married
@@FuelAirSparkTimefr I just noticed that
Well y’know that part? It wasn’t disrespectful but sometimes you can just tell. But don’t get too mad we don’t know her personally life. But Lola never told you did she?
Management is getting pretty ballsy these days with questions during interviews as well as inappropriate behavior. I recently resigned without putting in notice bc my boss came into the bathroom, banged on the stall door and told me I should have used the bathroom before clocking in. She said this as I hurriedly left the bathroom since she'd been holding the door while gesturing wildly towards the counter.
After a few minutes of collecting my thoughts and weighing my options I grabbed my keys and purse and walked out the front door.
That's traumatizing! I'm sorry that happened to you! Privacy is expected in any bathroom and I hope you're doing okay since then! ❤
@@farmer4785 better than ok since I left a toxic work environment. Thank you for the kind words ❤️
Uggh anyone that bangs on a bathroom/stall door is a fkn bush pig!!
My manager banged on my car door and searched my bag before work... im trying to find a new job so i can leave
@@joannajordan5439 you should also speak to an attorney about this. Your employer is way out of line and promoting toxic work conditions.
The last one! As a disabled person there are so many questions that I learned how to properly answer as well as many I know they are not allowed to ask about! Would love some videos out there with more of that for those who don’t know how to properly respond to invasive or straight up illegal questions.
I'm disabled with a disability employment plan and special accomodations (like not being allowed to be on my feet for an extended period of time), how do you suggest I answer the question honestly?
Thank you for advocating. I hope the videos are made
@Hadraniel.....yes, it'd be Great to get job interview tips for the disabled, especially if someone uses a cane, or if a physical prob is Noticeable. Plus, I'm sick of Getting a job, Compromising my Much Needed benefits, just to be Fired in 3 months, bc the Company just wanted the Tax Break & Govmnt Incentive money from Hiring a disabled. If a company gets Incentives for hiring the disabled, they should be Required to Keep Us On for at Least a year, & if we're Not Missing work, have to Prove we Deserve to be fired Before they're allowed to randomly kick us to the curb.
@@bubblesys Politely say you are able to do the necessary functions of the job. But if it feels like you'd be lying to say that, then that probably means you shouldn't apply for that job. And don't be TOO misleading, bc even if you don't technically lie, you probably don't want to start a job with your boss feeling like you've tricked them.
Eg if an employer asks me if I can be on my feet with kids all day (and I don't want to share I'm disabled yet), I say something like "Don't worry, I've worked with kids before. I know how high energy they can be and I'm more than capable of keeping up with them". Which is completely true, with reasonable accommodations (including NOT being on my feet all day).
Or if you feel like they're trying to weed out disabled people, like asking about lifting 50lbs when it's a desk job, you could politely ask how that's related to your job duties. But in that case I might not take the job at all since that seems like a bad environment
@@e.1766 They do have to prove you deserve to be fired, technically. At least in the USA, you can't be fired for being part of a protected group. They just do it anyways bc they assume you can't hire a lawyer or prove that's why they did it. In the future, you could try to keep thorough records of your work, your interactions with your boss, etc. So u have a better argument. If u can't pay for a lawyer, you could get legal aid or there r some lawyers who will work for a percentage of whatever payout u get.
I was in a job interview competition before for SkillsUSA & won gold in my state. Anyways before the competition, I've practiced answering , and the correct way to respond to these inappropriate questions is, "Im sorry, but how is this related to my job (position)?" Or "this question is personal for me to answer" because companies aren't allowed to ask you any personal questions unless it is related to your job.
i was said to my face NOT ASKED." So you have a 5 mo ths old baby... we not sure you perfect fit for this ROLE!!!"
I DIDN'T KNOW ERIN SO I LAUGHED IT OFF...
now realising they were being very unprofessional
This is discrimination and technically illegal
@@sugaronfire7832that’s literally illegal
O you are the one that’s unprofessional XD
Do u even know why they ask that question? I highly doubt that.
Yea it‘s illegal to ask, so what? What u want to do? The world does not resolve around you. It was your choice to have a kid and therefore you are the one in fault thinking that the companies have to do everything u want.
U my lady, are delusional. U not only would leave ur team behind but also cause them trouble at the same time. Did that thought ever occur in ur emotional wired brain?
And then you sued them and lived happily ever after😊
This is illegal! You could have sued and won. And for a good reason.
In my country, it has become illegal to ask a woman if she's planning on having kids in the near future, as companies use it to scratch out women they'll be obligated to pay while they're on maternity leave.
It’s illegal in the U.S. too but employers still ask it all the time.
so much to be a woman 😭
I HATE this but in my country we have such a fucked up law concerning maternity that employees refuse to hiring woman at all....
@@Ashley24K In my country, when they ask questions like these, you are legally permitted to lie to them.
fucking crazy jesus christ this world is sad depressing and gravely pathey
"You plan on having kids?"
"Why, you offering? I'm game if you are"
My dumbass telling the interviewer to repeat the question 20 times in a row
Inappropriate is the wrong word here: Illegal is better. All these questions are trying to work around anto discrimination laws. If they ask these questions in an interview and don't hire you they are opening up a massive lawsuit. FYI.
On another note: if a company is not following basic hiring laws you really need to ask yourself is this a place I want to work.
How is this "illegal" exactly? And how are they opening themselves to a "massive" lawsuit "if they don't hire you"? So, you're saying these questions are legal if they are done as a "workaround" but only if they hire you? Where did you get your law degree?😂
@@heathernks8 Certain types of discrimination are illegal, at least in the USA. So not hiring someone because of their gender, age, marital status etc. They're trying to find out the information without obviously asking the questions that make it clear they're discriminating.
@@heathernks8 it's stereotype discrimination. Companies "don't want" to hire mothers (/wives) because they are likely to have to call off if a child is, leave early if a child gets sick. Take time off for a future pregnancy. The old idea that a wife gets a job, but her husband decides he doesn't want her working anymore because it's taking her away from the home and children, so they trained someone only to lose them quickly.
Thats way too reductive. Good luck proving that these questions are the reason you didn't get the job. Sure, you can file a lawsuit, but if its even just a decent size company with a barely qualified legal team its still almost a guaranteed loss for you. Then you're out a ton of time and money and you still don't have a job.
@@heathernks8 This explains your prior comments. You're clearly either a troll or just a bootlicker with a superiority complex.
*This is a great video. I’d also add that people should consider locking down their social media during job application periods. Social media is how some employers obtain the answers to many of those illegal questions.*
That’s actually really good advice
How does one “lock” down their social media?
@@jsharik2466a few ways:
1. change the name on your profile (so you’re harder to find
OR
2. Restrict who can see your posts (make things less public).
OR
3. Deactivate your account while on the job market.
@@jsharik2466
Put things on private, genius?
Dunno what else, I stay anonymous.
@@jsharik2466 set them to private
I've Always gotten tripped up by these types of questions when they're Asked Repeatedly, but in a different way. Job interviews seem more like interrogations than interviews; this is a Really Helpful 'Stay on Point' video, Thanks so much! 👍🏼❤️
That last one seems like a genuine question, if you are physically incapable of doing a jobthey should know
They get to ask if you're prepared to meet the physical requirements of the job. It's illegal to ask "Are you disabled?" Disabled people could still meet those physical requirements, there are many types of disabilities.
@@Izzy41630 AHH that makes sense
@@Izzy41630If you need accommodations for a disability (if your disability doesn’t require any accommodations whatsoever it is not disabling by definition) your employer needs to know so they can provide them. They are legally required to and if you get sick or injured because you didn’t inform them they could face legal consequences for not providing the accommodations. This means they are less likely to keep you in employment after you recover and won’t provide you insurance because you lied to them.
Yup. It just needs to be phrased better. One of my older jobs have physical requirements so they ask "Due to the nature of this job, we're required to ask Are you capable of lifting at least 30lbs and standing/walking for long hours?" and exactly that.
You're welcome to disclose if you need any accommodations, but they're not alloweds to straight up ask you if you have "any conditions"
I'm autistic, but I've had jobs in the service industry. I love working with customers, but if an employee found out I was autistic during the interview process, they would probably assume I'm bad at communication and politeness, and not give me the job.
When I was 18 I went to a job interview to be a receptionist at a physical therapists office. Almost as soon as I sat down the interviewer started asking me a bunch of intrusive questions about my political beliefs and arguing with me about them. He then asked me about my physical disability and proceeded to spend the rest of the interview performing a physical exam of my back and offering unsolicited, very uninformed medical advice about what I should do to fix my chronic back condition. He asked me zero questions about my qualifications and I'm guessing he knew he wasn't going to hire me as soon as I walked in the door. I was super young and inexperienced and didn't know how to say no so I just went along with everything. I was trying really hard not to upset him and to answer all his intrusive questions in order to not "ruin my chances." I wish I had known it was okay not to answer and that behavior was totally inappropriate. In retrospect I should have ended the interview early and left as soon as he started prying.
That sounds rather creepish on his part. Sorry you went through that
He TOUCHED you??
@@kdphotos4691 Exactly! No interview questions and no interest in hiring OP. He just created excuses to touch OP. Very creepy.
To anyone reading this: Never let anyone pressure you into being touched or being put in a vulnerable position if you aren't comfortable with it. If they respected/valued you, they'd never want to do anything that makes you so uncomfortable. If they don't respect/value you, they aren't worth your time.
@@CeruleanStar - Yes, also about asking personal questions then arguing with her. It's a typical creeper tactic to wear their target down.
That sounds like a potential sexual misconduct report. Very out of line to be unnecessarily touching a young employee.
Could you please talk about how to discuss physical and mental health symptoms that do require accomodations/can affect our work with employers without hurting ourselves in the process? Thank you!
I second this!
generally you should answer probing questions truthfully without divulging details, as she did in the sample answer she provided, and then once you have the job offer, you can disclose more information and bring up any accommodations you may need so that they can be added to the offer. (and make sure you record this in writing, such as via email.) in the united states, it is illegal to make hiring decisions based on disability (unless it would completely impede you from doing the job, like the job absolutely requires heavy lifting but you physically can't lift at all), but if you disclose it during the interview and then don't get the job, you can't know for certain if you were discriminated against. if you wait until you have the job offer, the employer can't rescind that offer without making it look like they're doing something illegal.
@@breensproutthis is very helpful, thank you!! 🙏
@@breensproutThis is good advice, but what really helps is that employers can’t easily fire people anymore, because there aren’t replacements lined up. Circa 2010, it was very easy for employers to unload employees for any reason with some excuse like “working too slowly” or “layoffs”, or even with no reason given at all. I was “quiet fired” from McDonald’s by a popular tactic of cutting my hours to hardly anything claiming none were available while others were still working full time so I would look for another job and quit instead of the messiness of having to be officially fired. 🙄
Check out Ask A Manager. Alison's blog has tons of fantastic information around disabilities in hiring, requesting accommodations, when to disclose, etc. Her commentariat is also among the best on the internet. :)
If you don't answer these questions, your resume goes in the trash can after you leave.
i once got asked “how do your parents feel about your tattoos?” during a job interview and i was dumbfounded. tattoos were allowed in their dress code and none of mine are offensive or off putting in anyway. i responded with “well my dad was a tattoo artist and passed away so i like having things on me to remember him by.” … i shouldn’t of had to disclose that in an interview! it was so unprofessional and judgmental
I was asked once about avaialability for certain hours in an interview, and the manager asked me if i’m having childcare issues (I don’t have kids). This is a sneaky, work around way to ask about children. I politely told her that she respectfully can’t ask me that. I lot of interviewers actually don’t know what is considered illegal. Basically, i’m certain she didn’t know what she was asking and was just trying to figure out my lack of availability on certain days.
“Why do you ask?” (Politely, interested)
Then listen.
It turns the tables and they tell you the truth.
Quite right about many interviewers not knowing.
So far in every company I've worked for, managers were elevated out of the team without any kind of training or guidance, nor even a reference to expectations.
The same companies typically hold to "manager, manage it" in regards to indicated issues, including a clear and simple "our team is already filled beyond 100% so this new project cannot be expected to be done in short order on top of everything else".
It's a great way to ruin employees for life.
Never work for a someone who doesn't know these very basic industrial relations laws. If they're that reckless and unprofessional, they need to be avoided like the plague.
I literally got rejected by a company bc when I spoke to their recruiter, they told me that the hiring manager said “she lives too far, how will she commute?”. I told them that’s not their business and if given the opportunity I’ll find a way. They still weren’t budging and said sorry we’re not moving forward with your application.
It really pissed me off bc I was thinking why are they judging me based on something in my personal life which isn’t their business and something I said I’ll work on? I realized later that it was just an excuse bc the company just didn’t want me. I dodged a bullet tho bc I found a muchhhhhh better company which im now a part of, and I feel very much appreciated and valued 😊
Actually distance from office is not considered a work protection. It is legal to make proximity a job requirement.
That sounds… completely reasonable on their part. They raised a valid question about whether the length of commute would affect your availability, and you gave the vapid non-answer “I’ll find a way”? Why would they want to gamble on you “finding a way”? Or have to deal with the kind of employee who gets snippy about legitimate questions?
from someone who hired me "someone who has a long commute everyday will eventually get burned out." completely valid reason to not hire someone. because it's true. I lived an hour away but had 3 months to graduate and would move there after. 3 months of an hour drive one way was fucking draining. don't be mad at them, it's reasonable, and they do that because it's happened to them before.
I'd probably be pissed if I got asked this. Miss, I'm looking for work, not to have a tea and gossip 💀
I think the one where they state the physically demanding nature of the job and ask if you have any conditions they should be aware of is a really great question! It's really important someone knows what the job demands when they're going into it, and it's great to hear that the employer wants to know if there's anything they need to be aware of in case the potential employee might need access arrangements. It's a great question.
No, it’s a horrible question to a legit job requirement.
Bad: do you have any medical problems?
Okay: can you physically perform the physical requirements of this job, like lifting heavy objects, and walking to tables.
Still going through a unlawful dismissal case from my last job.
They asked me at the interview stage if I had any medical conditions that would hinder me working at this job. I steered them away from the question and got the job. I put in a reasonable request letter referring to my Pcos and that I would occasionally just need a few moments to myself for bathroom breaks etc. I was later 'let go' as they felt I actually wasnt a good fit due to me taking so much time 'slacking off' in the bathroom and had I told them at interview stage I wouldn't have been considered. Her face when I told her that what she was doing was illegal and I'd contact my lawyers lol
Oh wow I hope it goes through all right! I can’t imagine how great it must have felt to tell them to their face
thank you. maybe if enough people who are able to go through with legal action do so, others without the means to do so themselves might stand a chance.
Before I let you go, I’d look at your productivity. The only way you’re gonna win this is if you can show you were able to complete just as much work as others in your role despite your “breaks.”
@@Elladril they stated that their management literally stated they wouldn't have considered them for the job if they had known they had any kind of disability or needed extra help. It had nothing to do about their work, and all about the fact they weren't fully able bodied.
@@Elladril This doesn’t matter because they literally stated that they wouldn’t hire anyone who is disabled or had bodily issues 💀 That’s called discrimination, and shocker, it’s illegal to do that when you’re trying to hire people.
When someone asks you an illegal question during a job interview, that's a red flag. You're interviewing them as much as they're interviewing you. Do you want to work for someone who asks you if you're planning on maternity leave?
A manager asked me " how would your family describe you".
I am nc with my family.
I just told them what I was told years ago.
It's perfectly normal to ask about some personal stuff in the Netherlands.. It helps to create a bond. It does however depend on how the interviewer responds to the answers.
Sometime there may be a reason for the medical questions. We hired someone who did not tell us they were epileptic. That was a big issue. We design and manufacture high powered strobe lights for aviation navigation. They are all over the building.
I once had an interview where they asked me "how often do you and your husband go for dates?" I asked why it was relevant, and they said it was to see how much availability I had in the evenings.
I politely excused myself and told them that job wouldn't have been for me.
What the actual fuck
They could have just asked how much availability you had in the evenings...I feel like some employers ask these "your boyfriend" or "your husband" questions to try to probe if a woman is a lesbian...
I love this. It’s great when an employee has the self-awareness to know they aren’t the right fit and gracefully bows out. We’re looking for go-getters who wanna put in 70+h a week, not folks who value their “work-life balance.”
@@Tail_sezExactly. We already filter out registered democrats, but finding out if she’s a lesbian is valid because we are very careful not to infect the workplace with anyone who might be “woke,” and thus more likely to push for a union or make sexual harassment complaints.
@@Elladril ...took me a moment to realize it was sarcasm😅
In my first company I was looking for a change of project and I was interviewing with many projects/teams. They used to ask "Are you married?" I wasn't so I used to say "No". Then "Are you having any plan to get married this year? Just want to know your leave plan". Then in a particular interview since I was curious how they respond if I said I'm married to the above question I said "Yes". The next question was "Are you having kids?" -"No" "Are you planning to go on maternity leave this year?" I was like *you want to make me feel bad about being a female*. That was it I moved on from the crappy workplace.
Omg, I actually had a very similar interview before! Like they asked me if I was married and I thought that was fine, maybe they wanted to share info about benefits but when they prodded about why I didn't have a partner and any future plans of having kids, I felt so weirded out that I turned it back to them and asked "Sorry, may I know the purpose of these questions?" And they immediately looked embarrassed lol.
Girls need to pay for their families as well. We all need money.
Tbh as man I got the same questions.
Apparently they felt that my potentially needing to care for a partner and young child would pull my attention away from the job.
Not everything is about being female. Sometimes people are just being cunts in general.
well in their case it was so I dont see ur point @@sneezyfido
@@sneezyfidoin my culture, married men with kids are preferred employees as they are considered more stable and responsible.
Most of those questions were unnecessary, but the last one (the one relating to being on one's feet all the time) I can somewhat understand, as a company could make arrangements to help make the job easier to manage if one does say that they have any physical ailments prior to starting.
A better question would be: "Most of the workday will involve motion. Do you have any conditions that cannot be reasonably accommodated?"
Easiest way to get rejected 😂😂
the "can you repeat that question again" with a totally sincere blink and lean in is absolutely my favorite weapon of choice
“job requires you to be on your feet a lot”
i thought they we’re gonna say “so, can i see your feet?” 😭
Hey now there's nothing inappropriate about that come on let's see em 👁
show me them grippers 💀
Man if I asked any questions like that while interviewing a candidate at my place of work, I'd probably be the next on going on job interviews.
I feel that the last one is the only slightly reasonable one
Yh that's what I was thinking
I’ve been asked about my disability. When I told them the accommodation, they immediately said they find it interesting and immediately cut the interview short with “we have other candidates to interview and we will get back to you in 7-10 days.” They never call back..ever.
It's for the best. Because then you wouldn't been treated well there. I always say exactly what health issues I have, to see how they will react and would that be a problem. I found a job now where people are so freaking lovely even I feel slightly unwell they offer me a chair even if I'm okay without it. So it's better be open and then you will see their true colours.
Yes, it got to where I could tell that I wouldn't get the job by how the interviewer said goodbye at the end of the interview. "It was nice to meet you" means they aren't going to hire you.
@@ViktorijaBastetei definitely found this tactic worth it, led to finding a much more pleasant workplace, but when you REALLY need the job.... i always tell people disclose and ask for accommodation after. legally you can still ask for accommodation after being hired. its much harder to hide discrimination when you were hired, asked for accomodation, and then were let go of right after. employers are less likely to risk a eeoc case when its easier to prove lol. but in my experience the other tactic is to make your work as miserable as possible so you quit yourself LOL so you still risk that.
You don't have to disclose your accommodation during the interview. If they ask the question as they did in this video, it's illegal as well.
I was in a supermarket parking lot today. The cart wrangler wouldn't take my cart; he said he could only take five at a time. I didn't know there was a word for it until I read the comments here, but I figured maybe that was an accommodation. Either that, or the company is really looking out for its employees. But not the customers' cars if a cart goes sailing. I guess it's on the customers to corral their carts.
This is exactly why i shifted my career from marketing ( corporate ) to a gym trainer and I'm loving it.
No interviews, no meetings, no memorising interview answers and scripts, no BS. The pay might be lower but i don't care, the relief is insane.
I'm looking for a job and I rejected to offers bc of these vibes that give me depression even thinkng about an office job.
Working from home helped me a lot but after a trauma with violence they were very disrespectful even though I worked hard despite being assaulted and going through nightmare in private life.
Eventually I left. Sold apartment now renting.left finance job and now in dilemma what's next. I want to do something else but savings are going down rapidly but thinkng of office culture gives me intense apathy.
I have 5 months left to find an alternative.
I'm thinking to move to Spain bc of lower rents.
Wish i never sold my apartment but it is what it is and stay positive that I will find a job that won't invade my privacy and no manipulative games.
my managers have always been lovely & talkative and I answered personal questions like this just because I felt very comfortable doing so. Been working there for just under half a year now. I think it heavily depends on the demeanor of your interviewer & whether it seems like they're asking these questions with an alterior motive. Some people just like to chat to see if you're bubbly & talkative which is needed for some job roles.
Loving the boundaries! ❤️
I was asked what church I went to. They insisted I tell them because they "required" their employees to go to church every Sunday to worship the lord and they had to be able to check up on us to make sure we went. It was a receptionist job at a chiropractors office. What the hell? I just left.
Most chiropractors are quacks
Wauw
NGL my grandparents were in the overlap of "psychotic white people health shit without *any* of the fun stuff from the 70's.plus were gonna let a dude fuck.with your tiny developing back" and Southern Baptists the recruitment overlap is...
*Very fucking high*
Some places only hire religious people who knows.
Chiropractics don’t even get MDs. Not surprised
Them asking these sorts of questions is a red flag for me. Not sure I'd want to work for them after that.
The last question seemed valid.
@@DipMaster20 I think they can ask if you require any accommodations to perform the job. They're not supposed to ask directly about any physical conditions you have.
It depends on how badly you need a job. If you were to respond the way that this video recommends to these inappropriate questions, you'll later hear that they're "going in a different direction".
@@DipMaster20 The last one is right on the line. Asking if someone is physically able to fulfill the requirements of the job is legitimate, but asking if someone requires reasonable disability accommodations in order to do so is not. A wise employer will simply ask if you're able to complete a particular task, without raising the broader question of "any physical issues".
@@earthwormscrawlyes! I tried this during an interview and it got very awkward after. He kept bringing it up throughout the interview then. He kept trying to ask if I was married and had kids.
Wild when you try them and you're accused of being "rude", "arrogant" and "disrespectful" for not answering their inappropriate questions as they wanted
Especially love how you dodged the ableism at the end. Kudos
Once I got asked “what’s the worst thing you have ever done without getting caught?” I said “I’ll have to get back to that.” And never ended up answering 😂
And you never got caught for it. Nice
It would be fun to flip that question around on them since they wanna ask intrusive questions without getting caught
“If I were to answer that, it wouldn’t be true, would it?”
What's the worst thing you've done to an employee?
I remember back in high school, during a French class we were supposed to do a comic with a job interview for the sake of vocabulary and stuff. However, the comic included a panel where the lady was asked whether she plans on having kids, how many, whether she would soon be pregnant, is she pregnant now... that type of stuff, so instead of doing the lesson as usual, our teacher explained to us that such questions are illegal to be asked and how to avoid answering them. I think she later wrote to whoever issued the textbook and complained
Good on for that teacher pointing out to everyone, you at least know that it is illegal to ask these questions
In my understanding most of these questions are outright illegal to ask in most states in the US.
During training for a new job the manager was helping us fill out a form we didn’t understand and she said “oh don’t worry about that, there’s no way either one of you are married”😂😭
How to respond to inappropriate interview questions: leave
I used to not inform the hiring manager/HR about my epilepsy, because I felt I would be dismissed. About 10 years ago, I started mentioning it, because my health and safety are important, and if they can't accommodate a neurological condition I have no control over, then I don't want to work there.
My current company is wonderful. They know about my epilepsy, and allow me to attend doctor's appointments without punishment, even if it's during my shift. They know I can't drive, and rely on my boyfriend or Lyft, so they understand my occasional tardiness and they bring documents to my worksite instead of requiring me to come to their office. My supervisor is extremely understanding, as well, and I'm his relief M-F, so he's the one affected on the days I'm a little late. He just asks for a texted heads up if I'm not going to be my normal time (10-15 minutes early), so he's kept updated.
Yeah, physical conditions are Tricky, one IS supposed to Not ASK and Not mention it to avoids discrimination, but a lack of accomodation IS also discrimination and in many cases can Put your life and possably Others at risk!!!
Like IT would Not BE Safe to have me Drive a car, IT plain would Not. I can Work at a Wood working Maschine Up to the Point where I say I can Not anylonger at that Moment. This needs Trust though. I am more then willing to pull my weight at any time possible, but when I cant preformed a Task safely at that given time . . .i need to BE able to communicate that!
For the last one, I would answer it, but all others I agree with you
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions.
Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances.
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for.
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Erin, what if I *am* physically disabled in some way? How would I respond to that question about physical ability? Would the response be different if I have a proper diagnosis vs if I do not yet have a diagnosis, just symptoms? I am just wondering how to balance actually finding employment with having the proper accomodations at said job. Thanks so much if you take the time to answer, i love your videos and trust your advice!
Why is it so common for people to ask if someone is trying for kids in the near future? I can get it if it's like a parent or a sibling, but I would never ask a stranger "so do you have regular unprotected sex?" which is essentially what it means to be trying for a child.
Employers don’t want to deal with a pregnant woman or new mother. She might not be 100% focused on being their slave! This is likely why childfree women finally get paid as much as childfree men- at age 50. 🤦♀️
Because parents have responsibilities and priorities outside of the workplace, which can inconvenience employers. In my case, my spouse has a job they can only leave in emergencies, so my employer gets to deal whenever I need to pick up a sick kid from school, take them to an appointment during the work day, etc. Also, I'm not going to work late because that interferes with our family rhythm. My family is my priority. (Not every parent is like this! My spouse does not have the luxury of time that I do for things like these appointments. But this is how OUR family works.)
@@misspatvandriverlady7555That’s exactly right. We rarely hire a woman of childbearing age, but when we do, we have a statistical formula to account for the odds that she becomes pregnant or takes medical leave (women also use much more healthcare than men - which is reflected in the premiums we have to pay to insure a woman - and are much more likely to miss work with a cold), and these costs are calculated into the maximum compensation we will offer. By age 50, if she’s still a single career woman, she’s basically 95% as good as man.
It’s just sexism. Companies think that mothers are less committed to their work. Women being married means they might have kids so they are therefore less valuable. But at the same time, a man who is married gets paid more than an unmarried one because it’s a sign that he’s more “responsible”. And of course it’s just a fact that women get paid less than men in general because apparently women are just worth less, period.
Maybe you’re the only one who think in this weird way
Ha! Our workplace makes applicants fill a form that asks ladies if they are married, have had kids and WHEN DID THEY HAVE THEIR LAST PERIODS I kid you not. Ghana. Wild. Government job.
That's actually insane, I assume the period question is to try and gauge if they're pregnant but they could be on birth control or have some medical conditions or menopause/early menopause
Which honestly trying to guage if a potential employee is pregnant is incredibly inappropriate.
LMAO! Id love to answer that question. 10 years... and just watch all the blaffed men wondering why a 29 year old hasn't had a period for that long. (contraceptive injection)
WHAT
Wtf- thats so creepy and also really sad that if youre a women, you have to actually hide that youre married or have kids, but for guys, they dont give a crap about them 🤦♀️ 🤦♀️
I have a feeling that along with discrimination against pregnant/menopausal women, that last question could also come with discrimination against trans women
The question about if the candidate can meet the physical requirements of the job is 100% appropriate and does not belong on this list. I'm very upfront with potential employers about my physical limitations, but not everyone is, or may need to be reminded to mention it. "Can you do X task on the job description" is always appropriate, be that task a matter of skill or a matter of physical ability.
Always nice to have multiple ways to say mind your own fucking business ❤
It could keep your job too.
And then you report them to the federal government for that shit
Honestly you’re keeping your composure pretty well being asked illegal questions. I’d be a lot more blunt and torpedo my chances are a job.
But would you want to work for such a company in any case??
@@dovie2bluepeople don't get choices in this market unfortunately 🙃
@@rexlongfellow and tbh not everyone's as skillfully slippery as erin is with all these answers, so just answering their questions would be a better option
But that last one seemed reasonal
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions.
Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances.
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not a company that anyone should work for.
Thank you I did not know that 👍
@@GavGriffin-te1op
You are welcome.
I’d never hire someone that was evasive like this. Huge red flag
I had a company ask me if I was married with children. I told them none of their business and walked out. That shits illegal.
are you married and with children?
@@vampirzzyes with yours
@@vampirzzwho said it was *your* business?
No it’s not you showed up to get ask a bunch of questions get over it
@@catsnchessif you don’t want to be asked questions don’t apply for jobs
Or a simple “Excuse you. Do not ask me questions like that.” Works too😂 if they’re unprofessional, I’m unprofessional.
Worth noting that if the interviewer IS asking these sorts of questions, it's probably not somewhere you wanna work (if you can help it)
Im flexible on things like this, nothing to hide. I know everyone is different but sometimes it feels more of a conversation. I was asked a few personal questions i open honestly with a smile and got the job.
"Physical Conditions" is actually a question you have to answer in a lot of countries. They will even want a health report to ensure you do not have an existing condition.
Both my school van driver and medical van driver jobs have required physicals and drug tests. Kinda makes sense for a job driving vulnerable populations, though.
in the usa its only legal after a job offer is given though
@@misspatvandriverlady7555yep :)
The number of people just in general who look at my cane and loudly ask "what happened?!" baffles me.
“Leg no worky!” 🤷♀️
Same!!! It's so irritating especially when it comes from adults- if it's kids, well, they can grow out of it, but adults should know better
@@Kazjonesy the problem with assuming a kid is going to "grow out of it" is when they don't
@@Mercury-ok8ie True
@@Mercury-ok8iethink when they said "kids can grow out of it", they meant that they can grow out of asking inappropriate questions
One time I was asked in a job interview if I'd had surgery in the last year. I wish I knew then that they weren't allowed to ask that, because I wouldn't have answered. But I did answer, simply saying "yes, however it will not affect my ability to fulfil the requirements of this job". I was then asked a question which I knew was illegal, which was "what kind of surgery was it?" I asked her to repeat the question (in an attempt to have her realise her mistake and move on), to which she replied "I need to know what kind of surgery it was so that I know it won't affect your work capabilities."
I would've let it go, but I wanted her to see WHY you don't ask people that... through tears I replied that I needed an emergency D&C for a complicated missed miscarriage.
She didn't even apologise. She just said "ok that's great, that won't affect your work".
I cannot believe that people like that are allowed to work in management. Clearly YOU are not capable of fulfilling the requirements of your job if you're asking people shit like that in an interview.
And when you avoid their questions, you don't get the job anyway
Forget the interview. After accepting the job, those unprofessional questions will continue.
How is getting to know your coworkers unprofessional after being hired?
@@Bowhuntertexas You'll figure it out someday. Not everyone is your friend in a job.
@@Bowhuntertexas it's not. some people are just incredibly unfriendly.
@@Miss_Sylvie- Exactly, don't tell workmates anything about your personal life. They're asking for a reason, not because they want to get to know you.
True! I was raped in my own apartment.
I went back to work after 2 months but told the manager I don't think I'm able to get back to fulltime so instead asked if i could work 36 hours a week. I was almost killed in my house, instead of support he said: then maybe 'one' will think you are taking advantage of tge situation ( of being raped and strangled by a psycho! Working 4 hours less! I could have been sick with a burn out! )
Just wow.
I asked some of the questions you recommended to ask when the interviewer asks if there's anything I had questions about. The company has a second interview policy but the interviewer said he was definitely making sure I got a second interview and even said "wow, that's a good question!" The first question I asked was "what is your favorite part of working here?" Going to pick out some other questions for my second interview. Fingers crossed! Thank you for this channel!!!
Look up Ask a Manager and her golden question. :)
Those are good questions.
And they reject us for being rude😢
I don't think the last one was inappropriate, but it was awsome on the same way
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions.
Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances.
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for.
🚩
I like the "You don't need to worry about me" line a lot!
Especially as someone who can get pregnant: NEVER answer the "do you want kids" question. Even in a country where it's officially forbidden to discriminate under this reason. Just put yourself in the manager 's shoes...
You can say it if it's a temporary job and do know you are planning a pregnancy right after 😅
I would probably get irritated instantly and ask back "do you ask men the same question?" 😂
Even temporary jobs usually want people who could be available if work does continue (unless it's for example an internship for college students)
The last one is actually a pretty fair question
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions.
Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances.
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for.
_"We're looking for a juggler. Can you juggle?"_
_"WHOA! BUDDY! That's a bit personal!"_
I was asked a lot of these AFTER getting hired. “Where’s your ring? Are you single? Is there a man in your life? When are you having kids.”
"It's none of your business"
Once your hired you either answer the questions or not. Perhaps your boss or coworkers are just curious, or are considering getting married themselves and want to know if it's a good idea
@@stevenroshni1228 Everyone who asks is in a long marriage. I just found it inappropriate and irrelevant to my being there.
@@Skimmers1495 that's your choice. It's really about the person asking the question. They want to know who's on the dating market or who they could turn to for advice. Who can they invite to a party, etc.
@@Skimmers1495- I have to ask. Were you a young woman and those asking you were men?
"Are you and your husband planning on getting married this year?" Uh, if he's her husband, that means they're already married.
The last one is a reasonable question to ask because your physical health does have an effect on your ability to work.
Well that last one is actually kinda important, like if you have rheumatoid arthritis or a fused vertebrae and the job requires fine motor skills or lifting, the employer should know that, if youre fired for productivity reasons but if its ultimately a health condition they might work with you.
In most states/countries, it is illegal for companies to ask those kind of questions.
Companies are not allowed to discriminate against certain candidates because of their disability, personal and/or family circumstances.
If a company asks these kind of questions, they are not an employer that anyone should work for.
@@b3thann3You were spamming variations of that comment a month before this one. Did you come back to the video, find your old comments, and copy them to continue pasting basically the same comment over and over?
I interviewed for an internship the other day and the first question they asked was how is your relationship with your family 💀 very inappropriate especially since my parents are going through divorce.. anyways the role was for “financial advisor” turns out they really wanted me to sell insurance and especially to my family 💀😂
I would have told them "their dead thanks" with the straightest face possible even if they are currently living...ask uncomfortable questions get uncomfortable answers XD
That wasn't a real job, it was an MLM. MLMs are just legal pyramid schemes.
That sounds like an MLM waiting to pyramid...
It was a ploy to get you in smh. I'm not a fan of companies advertising financial advisor but it's really sales smh.
If a company doesn’t want to hire me because I have children and future plans, then I don’t want to work for that company.
In some countries/states, it is illegal for an employer to ask those kind of questions.
No one should want to work for an employer who asks those kind of questions.
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It's been a long time since I've dealt with questions like this, but I've also used, "I understand what questions like this are designed to uncover, and I'd prefer we stay focused on my qualifications." I remember this because when I was hired, my new boss said it was the most polite and professional refusal out of all the applicants. :D
Aww last one was considerate
I went to my older brother’s job interview for support since he has troubles speaking to a person directly, and relies on others - and the interviewer literally asked him: ‘Is something wrong with you? Were you dropped as a kid or something?’ - and we immediately left right after 💀
Dude I would have reported them for disability discrimination. WTAF is wrong with people like that and how do they get employed in the first effing place? Gross mfr
Questions so vile I wanted to hit the dislike on this comment by instinct
Jaw dropped wth 😧
WTF!?
lol I had an interviewer claim that in order for me to get ADA accommodations I'd have to prove in real time the health issue I have (POTS--basically, if I stay standing up for more than 20-40 minutes depending on the day, I risk passing out). I asked what they meant. They said they need to see me physically pass out at work first before they'll give them to me. I told them that's not how the law works. They said it is. I said it's not, I just need some medical paperwork. They told me I could leave. Bullet dodged. 🙃
Another tip, if management or HR is asking inappropriate questions, ALWAYS get it in writing. The best way is to have them put it in writing as an email, but if they don't (which is likely) the next best thing is to write out a summary of what was said and send it to HR/management in an email. Don't accuse them of discrimination or harassment outright, but just summarize what was said and what was decided so that they have notice that they discriminated without the unpleasantness of getting angry or accusatory. Courtesy and frankness will get you much further than anger and emotions, and will make your case stronger if you end up filling a labor complaint. It feels good to tell off someone in the moment that they wrong you, but you will get far more justice by remaining calm and maintaining professionalism.
heavy heavy heavy on this. if you file an eeoc complaint and have it in writing, you have an actual case.
Very true
Ngl “skip the small talk” is kinda cheeky but idk how else youd brush past that 😂😂