Black women aren't allowed to have a bad hair day. Black Girl Hair Depression
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- ✨ Watch "Your Hair Loves You": • Embracing your natural...
Black women aren't allowed to have a bad hair day and Black Girl Hair Depression. With texturism, featurism, anti-Blackness and flat our racism, no wonder why so many women struggle with Black Girl Hair Depression. This is a clip from my video essay, "Your Hair Loves You". Watch it here • Embracing your natural...
content included: Black women aren't allowed to have a bad hair day, Black girl hair depression, Black woman hair depression, Bad hair days Black women, respectability politics, community care Black women, Colorism Black woman, Your Hair loves you, Love Letters to Black women, Affirmations for Black women, Self love for Black women,
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Black people have internalize a lot of the anti black sentiment that is prevalent in America. We are always under pressure to be perfect and respectful and yet not meeting the expectations. It’s emotionally exhausting.
This is not true, I would be exhausted if I felt like too..geezzz
I once had a yt coworker ask how my hair "works". I told her I had hidden switch at the back nape of my neck. Switch left for straight hair, right for curlyhair, middle for braids! You should have seen her face! I think she believed me😂😂.
Omg I have to use this 🤣
😂😂😂
She knows not to ask that silly question again.
😹😹😹😹
Yes…our hair is tied so much to our identity. So much about how black women choose to wear their hair is externalized to mean other things. It’s politicized…like wearing an Afro is me somehow making a political statement. Or it’s diagnosed…like me choosing to big chop means I’m having a mental health breakdown. Or it’s judged…like me choosing to straighten my hair is me wanting to assimilate with another culture… Jeez…can I just wear it how I feel like wearing it. It’s exhausting
It truly IS exhausting 🥺🫂💛🌺
85% of communication is nonverbal.
The hair growing out my head is me. Period!!!!
Yeeeeeeeeeees! I LOOOOOOVE this! 🙌🏾🌺💛🥰🌸
I’ve been told my braids are unprofessional, my faux Locs are unprofessional and once I came in to work with a braid out that I thought look great. I was told that my hair looked like a disgusting rats nest and that I was going to be written up for my poor appearance. I’m not a wig girl but I literally went out and bought 2 of the same wigs so these WP at work would leave me alone. It was then I knew I needed to work part time after work on my small business and grow it so I would never have to work for others again. And it isn’t just WP in the workplace that does this to BW, other BW can sometimes be worse.
I think it's jealousy
the mental and emotional space that hair takes up is wild. when we collectively free ourselves from products, expectations, and ignorance it will be a fine day.
I actually got on myself yesterday for running errands with my hair looking “unkept”. Later that day I said, it’s ok to have a bad hair day. It is what it is, now get over yourself. It’s sad that I even felt bad about how my hair looked. Thanks for doing this video.
*BIG HUGS* I'm sending you so much love and kindness. We have to be patient with ourselves because we've been taught to be hyper critical of ourselves. The world is so harsh with us, so we become harsh with ourselves. You are allowed to have a "bad hair day". We don't owe anyone our effort, in all honesty. You are enough. You are beautiful, always.
I think what we have to distinguish is imperfect but clean vs imperfect/unkept/dirty unmaintained. The example of white girls washing their hair and running around doing errands and going to class is a big difference between that and the unkempt mess that I have seen in women who are mentally too Syked out to deal with their own dangles. Too tired, too burnt out, want complicated hairstyles like weaves or braids or locks but does not believe the TIME and ENERGY needed to cyclically maintain that and the hair underneath is worth it. They don’t leave time energy or money to properly maintain it. So it looks unkept and DIRTY which is a lack of self-respect and people with good things going for themselves don’t mess with people with lack of self-respect. Girl with wet hair in a bun is maintaining herself and clean. She is getting other important things done to progress herself. Very different from over gelled edges, dandruff (or flakey product perceived as dandruff), greasy hair). Very different.
Also cleanliness and proper maintenance of self is not even just about respect, it’s about HEALTH.
@@Tania-rg7jp-If your hair is clean and you just so happen to mix the wrong products and get flaking, it doesn’t mean you’re unkempt. I’m positive almost every type 4 hair has had this experience, at least once.
@The1Geminii thank you, I don't what that idiot is talking about. Some times maintaining our hair can be like a science experiment with all of the products and it doesn't come out the way we want. So sad that we have to worry about judgemental people too.
The way people wont allow us to wear our natural hair without judgement unless it's 4a and above
I love a messy bun look on afro textured hair. It looks so whimsical, artsy and innocent.
Thank you for this. Many depressing and harmful hair experiences as a Black woman. Grateful I found my way and peace.
*BIG HUGS* you're so welcome! Thank you so much for being here and for sharing this with us. Much love and joy to you, Beautiful! 💛💛💛
I’ve been in a hair depression for MONTHS
Whole life 😢
There's a passive aggressive nurse at my workplace who said the same crap to a coworker of mine. She knows better than to say that to me because I'd tell her where to go ❤😂
Ugh! I am so sorry that she is in your work environment. And I'm so glad that you set the boundaries and let it be known! That's not gonna fly. You are divine. Much love and joy to you!!
I consider myself beautiful and have beautiful hair. One day I washed my hair, twisted it and pinned it up. I wasn't ready to twist it out yet so I wore a scarf. When the white, middle aged, manager came in, she stopped in her tracks. Like she was caught off guard that I had a scarf on my head while working in a health care setting pre-covid. The retirement aged black women started asking me was I marrying Muslim. Another laughed and said you look like you're going to bed. I said, no my hair is just beautifully coiffed underneath and drying. A 30 something white women then asks in the presence of another 30 something black woman, 'what's the difference between me wearing fuzzy reindeer antlers(during the holidays) and that(pointing to my scarf). I kindly said, "it's culturally appropriate. And our policy at work makes reasonable accommodations for it along with hijabs and culturally appropriate facial piercings."
But, women are always being challenged and especially black women about their appearance. Not all the time do I want to explain or educate people on why I am doing a thing. It's simply no ones business, but on occasion I choose to indulge because what I've learned is that those people who ask or make stupid comments rrally want to cover their hair but are afraid and admire the fact that in corporate America I was confidently myself, still respected, and beautifully coiffed and covered.
Moving right along.
And moving the movement right along.
I remember having an incident in high school - this was many years ago and I had just started wearing head wraps for religious reasons and I got stopped by a teacher and told to take it off. I went to the principal. But honestly head wraps are also cultural for people of recent African heritage - not necessarily religious either, we should be free to put a wrap on our heads whenever we please.
Head wraps are also indigenous to the Americas not just africa, you should do your research on copper colored Americans being indigenous to north america
I used to get so much anxiety preparing for conferences and work 😭 4C and I have locs.
I work in so many forward facing roles and I used to get so self conscious about my edges. Especially when I would workout before work, by time I get to work I felt so so so self conscious.
I tried hair bands, edge gel (which I HATED), texturizer, scarves and finally I just gave up 😂
I still get it redone every couple of months, but I just let my edges do whatever they gonna do.
You are spot on, though 👌🏾 We live under the microscope
Yeeeeeeeeeees! I completely understand that pressure to lay em down. And like you, I've given up. My edges finna do what they do. 😂💛🌺🥰🫂
And yes! It is exhausting to constantly be criticized for everything. I love that women are beginning to opt out. It's too heavy of a load to carry. 💛💛💛
I hope you are having a wonderful day 🥹🫂🌸
I remember wearing a beanie in high school and being told I couldn't go to class like that. My hair wasn't done and after explaining that to my white principal he still didn't care. I missed class and walked home instead of taking the beanie off. I have locs now and they are pretty long. The only time I have felt pretty was when I wear my hair straight, and those occasions have been rare. I am so embarrassed to admit that but I have never enjoyed the hair that grows out of my scalp. I understand there's a lot of conditioning in how I see myself as it relates to my relationship with my hair. I went natural over 15 years ago to convince myself that the way my hair grows out of my scalp is beautiful. I'll admit that my political statement of wearing afros and locs has not changed the inner dialogue I have with myself about my hair.
Wow. I felt this comment. Considering locs next but honestly I still don’t love, or even like my natural hair texture (4c and I’m “tender headed” 🙄) so maybe I’m just delaying the inevitable (cutting it off again).
Thank you for sharing. ❤
For this reason, I'm learning how to care for my hair in a healthy way. The more I try to make my hair look "acceptable"( flat iron, Edge control ,slicked back bun), the more it falls out.
Hey I am not black and I do validate your points, however I can tell you that you manager was being controlling, this world is crazy with control freaks and rules. It is just a hair piece it doesn't affect your performance at work ffs 🙄 second thing I can tell you as a woman is that we should stop caring so much how we look. Like you said- who are we trying to impress?? We put so much make up so much effort so much plucking hairs, dying hair, shaving every little bit etc, for what? Men just shower if that! I like the saying I read- WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY!! 🫡 Much love ladies ❤
I love that. "Women don't owe you pretty." I wish the world would get that.
They do it to us and we do it to each other. We learn this everywhere. Was sent home from a predominantly black high school because I wouldn't take off my hat. Recommended by a black principal that at the age of 15 I should have known how to roller set my hair. My apologies I was given an ultimatum, take off the hat or go. I left I never forgot about that.
And this is how I got stuck in the wig cycle in college. I wore the same horrible synthetic wig every day for months at a time.
My phone must’ve felt my depression because I’m going all the way through it with my extremely thick hair. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve just been so MAD. I’ve been trying to embrace my own hair, but it has its extreme ups and downs. For two seconds this morning, I contemplated chopping it all off. I have terrible hair envy when I see other Black women on Instagram with long hair down their backs. I’ve been natural for over ten years and my hair barely touches my collarbone. I hate not having soft, long, manageable hair. I run late all the time trying to look decent at best. Most of the times, I wear a hat to work. When I do my hair, my stupid scarves and bonnets slip off during the night and it ends up looking AWFUL by morning (my current situation). Hair salons are too expensive for me, and I don’t have the energy to braid my hair at the moment. Been crying all morning. The algorithm must’ve heard me. *Sigh…*
Aww sending you hugz ❤
Hugs. I have the same problem and I'm looking into satin/silk pillowcases
This is such a trigger for me. Triggering through…
*BIG HUGS* 🥺💛🌺🫂 I completely understand. I'm sending you so much love!!!
This is the hair I was born with. If anyone has a problem with it then it’s a you problem, not me.
Wow, the weirdest thing is how people see me as some kind of daunting Black Power Chick, like the revered Angela Davis, because most can't tell my age. I'm just a grandmother that wants to live and let live! No statements, just allowing myself to be me, Without Flat Irons or hair dryers and all that extra work I Don't want to deal with anymore. Yeah the Afro is Huge, Big, 'and' BEAUTIFUL! ♥️♥️♥️
I remember when my son was about 6 months old my mother and sister saw a video of me and asked why I always had my hair wrapped. Ummm maybe because I was working 2 jobs, raising a child, and caring for an elderly pet. My husband helped out as much as he could but braiding my hair wasn't part of his skillset lol. My son is 11 now but I'll never forget that comment. It made me feel like I couldn't be less than perfect.
Why did ur husband have u working 2 jobs😬
I think one of the first things that we have to start teaching our children is that caring for themselves inside and out is primary and that our standards for care as black people and particular black women are not the same as other people's standards for care.
So like one of the things that I often push back against is this desire to shorten and reduce hair wash day. Because from my perspective that's born out of the need to fuel capitalist desires, which are often based purely in eurocentric ideals and goals. And eurocentrism is a death sentence for black women.
It's been 20 years since I went natural and my guiding force has always been based in caring for my hair as it is. Not making the overarching goal trying to transform my hair into something different.
The depression comes from trying to be something other than what you are because you value that thing more than you value yourself,
being unable to accomplish that goal.
Every day, I find out that I'm not alone in these experiences! I have canceled dates, missed work, etc because I didn't like my hair.
I feel the same way.. Im at this job & I’m like just stop staring at me! & leave me alone! I’m tired!!! 😞 I don’t want to answer questions about do I have kids, about my hair, about what book I’m reading on my phone!? What I’m eating for lunch. & you clearly see it’s a sandwich!?! Or if I’m minding my own damn business & hum a little tune & you think I’m talking to you or asked you a question. Hell! I barely want to be at this job!
I felt this in my soul😩.
It's exhausting being black. I just want to BE just like white ppl and others. Ugh.
You see what I'm saying?! You get it. You completely get it. 🫂🥺🌺💛
Exactly!!!
Well girl, I just get me a wig and order my contacts in color and call it life. 🤷🏼♀️
🎯
@@vanessarichardson110 👎🏽
Not to mention when you’re depressed you don’t feel like doing your hair. I have a lot of hair and it’s exhausting having to style it everyday or get it “looking right”. I mostly just have it in box braids. I do want wear my own hair though sometimes because I love it. And I want to show it off. It’s just the styling it everyday that feels too much atm
Just had this conversation with a white friend and she was wowed because she was connecting dots that never was connected and she was sad for me 😢
This is so real and I never considered it being a form of depression. That’s why I threw in the towel and got locs. But even thought they’re somewhat lower maintenance some days when my loc styles don’t turn out right I can feel ‘off’ 😔
I had a crochet in my hair, and a caucasian co-worker walked up to me, looked me dead in the eye, and told me she thought I looked like I had been electrocuted. Criticized when it's done, criticized when it isn't. 😒
It’s true. If my hair isn’t presentable, I’m not going to the event or even running the errands. Smh
This is so refreshing to hear. It is everything I've been feeding for the past 31+ years. I finally have locs, and I don't need to spend as much time or money on my hair. I'm too tired to be spending a day detangling and styling my hair.
Being a fellow naturalista, I always make it a point to compliment my other natural hair sistas-- to me there is no such thing as "bad" hair. All of our hair is Beautiful. Seeing other women rock their natural hair gives me so much pride in my heritage and myself as an individual. Our hair is one of the most hypnotic and intriguing characteristics that make "us" unique. Be you and stay amazing, ladies!❤
omfg thanks for this. and opening this video to see your shaved head which is the solution that sometimes pops up in my mind on those bad days lol 💜 (looks great and must feel freeing!)
Thank YOU! 🫂💛🌸 It was my absolute pleasure. 🌺🌺🌺 And yeeees! Thank you so much! That's so kind of you! I do love my shaved head. It really is so freeing to me. It helps me to learn to love myself. Much love and joy to you!!!
Brings back horrible memories of college. Like you said my white roommates could take a quick shower and walk out with their hair still wet. They are the standard so whatever their hair looks like, will be what presentable hair should look like. And those days I was just a broke college kid, even when I had the $ I didn’t have time to go sit in a Brazilian blowout salon for literally 5 hours. I tried to be healthy and exercise regularly. So my hair was so oily I needed it washed at some point or I’d break out on my face and even back.
One time before either finals or major exam I just remember myself trying to hurry blow drying my hair, there was still buildup in the back roots i guess I hadn’t reached (looking back I probably reached, it just wasn’t the right product for me), I didn’t have time I needed to study, and my hair looked so ugly to me and I couldn’t fix it, i tried with the flat iron it wasn’t smoothing it well, I just broke down and cried and cried. I kept thinking about my Asian guy friend and how his shower was probably so quick, and how he’s already studying, how everyone is getting ahead of me as I sit here flat ironing, draining my energy and time on this
I've been getting my hair braided and installing crochet braids for a few years because it's convenient as a lazy natural. I went out for the 1st time today in just my cornrows without braids, and I felt NAKED and exposed without them. I was so used to getting compliments on my braids that not having them made me feel less beautiful. Today, I had to pick up some food from a local gas station I frequent. The cashier had done a double take and said I looked familiar, which made me feel even more self-conscious about it. I told her I didn't have braids in and left. The hair depression is REAL.
Man, THE VALIDATION is the biggest thing we need cause people be making us feel CRAZY ASF and I appreciate this video and you for that beautiful ❤❤. we are the only people that truly understand our struggle. Even conversing with my mixed black/white boyfriend, he completely doesn’t understand. I wish I would’ve went on the web first then to talk to him, but for me I had locs beautifully and full and then I had to all of sudden cut it off out of nowhere. 9 years of black girl depression hair hit me in one year cause tbh, I tried not to let anyone shame me about my fro nor did I think bout it cause in my mind I’m like, well I got hair bitch and it’s different than everyone’s so who are y’all to make comments. But it was as soon as my hair got so short that I couldn’t recognize myself, I really went down a deep deep deep depression, felt like 5 years worth it was so horrible and excuratting and ontop of that I had started a job at an Asian store so it be white people frrrrr but IT ALSO but other races FR especially certain stricter races that care even MORE about a certain look. I was like terrorized everyday.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 nodding my head the whole time
Them: Is she done or is she finished?
Me: Yes
I so appreciate this. I got demoted once for an unknown reason, kept in the kitchen and nor waiting on tables where I was hired. I had been asked by my restaurants owner “what was going on with my hair.” My hair was about 4 inches long at the time and really curly and my white male boss/restaurant owner simply didn’t like it. I had heard him called a racist before I got hired but didn’t want to believe it.
It does take a lot of self work. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I don’t feel the need to flat iron after I give myself a blowout and I thank the natural hair community for that. It’s taken me 13 years.
Yesssss.. from getting relaxers to then going natural and SILK PRESSING tf out of my mane… I cut it just like yours 😍 then started growing locs and I love them.. but it’s soooo difficult being in a society that doesnt GET it
This is SO On Point! When I had Cancer in 2018 and took Chemo, all my long hair was coming out, to my waist, so I decided to take contol of the situation. My little grandson, granddaughter and I had a cutting party! The new me was foreign, not accustomed to seeing myself that way, and it shocked my poor daughter So! I know it hurt her More than Anyone! But I finally got accustomed, I really had a weird self body image of myself. I felt like I was on the outside looking in when glancing at a mirror! ..It was very curly and cute though, started accepting it- Got even More Compliments! Finally decided to let it grow just last year, No cutting. It's about 6 + in or so thus far, but u know what, I absolutely loved the cute curly short look! I Don't feel like dealing with flat irons or hair dryers anymore, and that 'Wash and Go' is SO Easy! ♥️👌
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! Firstly, I'm so glad you're doing well!!! 🫂💛🌺💐 Congratulations, Beautiful! And I loooove the idea of a "cutting party" that is so wonderful, and a sweet way to reframe such a scary and hard circumstance. Awwwwww! *BIG HUGS* to you and your daughter. 🥹💛💛💛
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. Do you mind if I share it on another video? And yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm so happy you were able to come to love your new hair and style it with ease. That is LOVELY. Much love and joy to you!!! 🫂🌺🌺🌸🥰
Good morning. Thanks for sharing.......from the dentist this morning, teeth cleaned
Good morniiiiiing!!! 💛☺️🌸 Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to clean teeth! I hope you have a beautiful day!
I came to London uk thinking it would be progressive but so far two Nigerian men have given me their opinion on my hair and I was disappointed. One said my hair made me look beautiful because it was slick back with a lil wave, he said it made me look like a Caribbean and Indian mix. That’s not a compliment. Little did he know I am Caribbean but my hair is 4C and all I did was blow dry and gel my hair down aggressively just so I could leave the house and look out together. Why you complementing me because apparently my hair makes me look mixed. It’s 2024 smh…
Thank you for sharing because black people have hair depression. My natural state as a black person because I have to cut my hair. I can’t wear my natural hair because the world is going to assume the worst about me too. Don’t let a black man get murdered with bad hair they gone call us a crackhead and/or we some how deserved to die because our hair. You’re not alone
I became fully natural in high school and currently 3 years loc ❤ I love my nature hair and my head wraps 🙂 I had a lot of friends in college who did not like their natural hair which broke my heart bc they damaged their hair badly from straighten to chemicals 😢 black women should be embraced and not constantly judge. We are all beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤
I work at a school, I wear my hair covered everyday!!!! No explanation given
@BlackGirlCurls did a recent UA-cam video on Black Girl Hair Depression w/ a therapist and it was so good.
In Zimbabwe, as a lawyer I'm not allowed to stand in court with a headwrap. I had to ask female magistrates because it was a man who had said its not allowed. Turns out, Its not allowed. But the serious question is ...why are men still controlling what we do in Court, it does not affect the case in any way.
I love my new job... It's not corporate corporate. I'm as free as a bird with my hair... (My stylist also MOVED) but my locs haven't been retwisted in two months. I also don't have to pay that heavy $250/month mandatory to get it done done.
(I wish we could wrap up our hair and go about our business... I did go through a little depression from it not being as neat as we were told our hair should be growing up... But I'm past that now 🙃)
If need be I'll do a simple retwist at home.
Eventually I'll find a new stylist and get it done occasionally!! Saving me coins.
Cleanliness is the most important aspect though for hair in terms of walking in the world in self-respect if you want respect from others and for personal health.
Is your hair imperfect (frizzy, unglossed, your actual natural texture) but CLEAN and maintained. I have plenty of natural women around me with buns often.
Or is it NEGLECTED/ HAPHAZARD and DIRTY. That is the difference between examples. Even having product build up due to being afraid of water due to frizz. We have Syked out way too many women over hair. No one actually expects our hair to be perfect all the time who is SANE. It is proper to expect cleanliness.
We don’t even NEED clay masks and other complicated bs to give us grief.
All we need is
Good diet
Cleanser
Water
More water
Heat resistant oil to seal.
Most other products are illusive to what they say they deliver and just add extra time and grief which we only put up with because our community is grieving in error and foolishness over texture.
I think this is all fine and good, but we're not taking into consideration the workplace, places where people can deny you service, kindness and care because the world treats you differently when you don't look how they *think* you "should" look.
Sadly, the reason why we over complicate it is because we've been taught to. It's set as the standard. Black women are just doing what they gotta do to survive. 🤷🏾♀️💛
@@AleciaReneceI agree. I will add the truth will set us free not acquiescing to ignorance. Other communities couldn’t get hired because of their nose or some other feature. Some got nose jobs some didn’t. The ones who succeeded still succeed because they were too busy creating economies within their own minority community than trying to compete the hardest for the lowest level roles in white corporate America. This is a HUGE reason why many of our features have been categorized negatively and we ingrained that with women thinking if they just turn into OTHER women and men marrying OTHER women we will solve the problem. We don’t. We just continue to have them steal pride from our very FOUNDATION : true self.
The black hair industry is one of if not the highest grossing hair industries due to LACK Conciousness within our collective psyche as black women. The psychic hotline industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and they straight out target BLACK women the most. Because as a community we are disconnected with each other and within OURSELVES the more than most other communities and willing to spend higher percentages of our income to GAIN what we EASILY already HAVE. Lack Conciousness. We must teach each other that we are worthy, gorgeous, and delicious just as we are. We must teach each other to have genuine gratitude for everything we are NOW. And we will be surprised how much we stop consuming and start producing and if anyone has a problem with ***your** production and make you over think how to show up, they are not your crowd and you would be doing yourself a MAJOR disservice trying to bend down to be their assistant past the point of learning what you need to learn to MAGNIFY your own production and creation that if your FREE gift from God. Which I don’t have to tell you that. That is what you are doing and I love your channel. Don’t mistake my passion for division. I only want to add, complaining about society is still being chained to them. Do what you need to do for the meantime, then do what you need to do to DECLARE AND CREATE THE NEXT WORLD.
@@Tania-rg7jp wait. You completely changed your entire comment. 😂 My response doesn't even make sense anymore...
Upon review of your new comment, I need to express that I disagree with a lot of what you said. It's a lot to respond to, but I think you're losing my point of the whole video...
Also... Product build up has nothing to do with "being afraid of water for frizz".... It's because the product be thick... And Coily hair holds onto that product (like when you have braids in, etc).
Unfortunately, people DO expect our hair to be perfect all the time, hence why Black women feel so much pressure. Even your comment have tones of what Black women *SHOULD* do... I'm not here to prescribe Black women do anything but love themselves no matter what decisions they make about their Hair. Black women do a lot of performing to gain acceptance and respect from their peers and from people of different races (specifically white folks). It's oppressive.
To say that people are afraid of water, or that they're simply "over complicating hair" is a major oversimplification, and it ignores the oppressive powers that dictate who gets care, love, pay, respect and more.
We, unfortunately, are very much judged by others and that impacts mental health. I will never look down on another woman for playing the game to be cared for as long as she doesn't throw anyone else under the bus.
I don't want this video to turn into a place for people to shame and judge women who may not be natural, or who dont wanna Play the game.
The message is self love regardless, always. 💛💛💛
Well all roads split somewhere…
None of my comments were aimed at worrying about our negative suppositions about how our blackness will be perceived. Yes prejudice exists it also exists right in our own community. Personally I would prefer to be too busy watering my own grass and mowing my own lawn to be worried about what other people think. Race anxiety attracts and magnifies race anxiety and holds us to and makes us put up with they very people who we accept as being in opposition to us and “holding us down” instead of finding lateral allies who want to lift each other up and do business together. Perhaps it’s time to stop performing for acceptance and start accepting who truly accepts you for who and WHAT you truly are? That’s 50-70% of your mental and physical energy that can be applied to other things….
But everyone has their own way to express what is truly loved by their own heart and should be self-validated, agreement or disagreement. Perhaps this is not even just about love. But having a healthy sense of pride and ever narrow down who your real tribe is. People say they love themselves, but don’t take care of themselves? Perhaps more is going on. People doing the most and spending the most, way more than necessary for illusive results and falling more in love with things that do not resemble their true texture and missing out on life due to it. Something else going on. Be blessed.
the mindset that helps me is to take care of my hair, but i want to remain completely neutral about it. if it looks good, cool. if it looks bad, headwrap and try again tomorrow. but i am so tired of always feeling devastated when my hair isn't done. and i wear my hair natural 90% of the time. i feel like i'm constantly at war with my hair. but i'm hoping neutrality will make it less intense
Thank you So much for your words and YES. I'd be honored if u Shared it on another video! It's been 5 years, Cancer Survivor, Praise God and doing Great! 👍♥️👌
..Actually it's been 6 years now, WOW! And my daughter, granddaughter, grandson and I, will be walking in the Breast Cancer Awareness 'Sista Strut, this April 7, Memphis TN! 👍
Girl, you are on point on all topics you speak on, and I'm glad you're doing it
I’m glad someone is talking about this.
When I went natural 10 years ago, my “caucasion” coworker asked me if I was “mentally” ok. I laugh about it now. My hair was cute.
This video was not long enough but very much how I feel. I've been in a hair depression for over a year literally not doing my hair. I got my hair braided twice last year but spending money on braids is ridiculous with these prices. I just wear a wave cap everyday. It's 10:53am and haven't left the house cause I don't know what to do with it. Can't wear a bonnet cause black women talk shit. My hair can't fit under a hat😢.
Whew chile! You said a WHOLE word! Thank you!
A middle part, sleek low bun was my go to as a loose natural. Now as a loc’d natural my hair often looks semi freeform in between retwists, and while most of the time I like the look, Makalah Hampton’s quote resonated. I see it as an opportunity to get free from the bondage that is self consciousness!
Absolutely!!!!! This is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! 🥰🥹💛🌺🫂
Black women are allowed to have a bad hair day, just wear a cute hat, that's what I do, caring about your hair just means that you care about your appearance, a bad hair day is much better than wearing a freaking bonnet
I absolutely agree. I'm not wearing bedclothes out the house and that includes bonnets and slippers because I can't figure out what to do with my hair or outfit. There are elegant hair scarves and hats for those days.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 absolutely 🤗
from the tignon law to modern policing of our hair...will we ever be free?!
Greetings from Ghana... excellent content!!
Hiiiiiiiii! Thank you so much for being here. 🫂🥰🌺💛
Thank you for this topic! That;s why I went on a self love hair journey and got locs! Best decision ever!
The product process is on point
I feel it for my ladies who spent a small fortune on Carols daughter and others just to find out that the look on the box had nothing to do with the product inside the package. I have locs and only a few products that i use and im just letting it be. Im looking forward to getting it maintained by a loctition tho. Not all products work for all hair types
The judgement is real.
Are you familiar with the crown Act? Our hair texture is legally discriminated against.
Thank you for doing this video❤❤
I needed this video 🙏
Sad but true….
You remind me of juelzy. Great video. Facts
I cut my hair off three times
last year due to mania
Great video. Wait until you are older and your hair's natural and gray. Difficult. I am fully natural anyway.
"who are we trying to impress?"
Dusties and fake friends 😩
Literally.
I wash & go...jus like my yt sistahs!!!
its an act of rebellion. I find that the only people that offended by it are Black men, in my day to day. I like making the texurist feel uncomfortable. I love that my hair defies gravity
Work for white men if you have to work for anyone...they dont care
I do have a question was the head wrap high or low ?
❤❤
💛🌺🫂🥰☺️💐
Honestly if you outfit is on point and face is made, your hair can get a pass
Crazy enough, when my hair looks unkept I get so much attention from white men.
Are you really comparing college class to work?
can i reread correct black women are not allowed to have a black hair day...😂its bad hair day..😭its not the same thing make it make sense please..great timing for this video
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾‼️❤️
I greatly appreciate this content. I remember working with a company as a secretarial executive when I was 26 and being told by my boss that my hair (the one day I wore it naturally in a ponytail) resembled a big black bug. I was later fired from this company for returning the vitriol to a partner of the company who called me and demeaned me in a racist manner, despite the fact that we were informed we could defend ourselves if partners were being out-of-pocket.
I'm actually dealing with this now as I just took-out my natural yarn braids and am sporting only my natural hair; every time I leave my house, if the wind blows my hair in the wrong direction, the laughter ensues. Yet a lot of these same people who do these things are ones who claim racism doesn't exist.
I think the craziest part about it is knowing how long my hair is and that if I were to straighten it, it would be much longer than a lot of the girls laughing w/blonde straggles. I believe that's what leads to a lot of us ruining the healthy hair we've managed to grow-out; we straighten our hair because length and health isn't often seen as enough in the face of ridicule.