EVERYONE can't be a '7/10'...can they!? | Why We Overestimate Our Attractiveness
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
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-> _think I am attractive_
-> "This means that in reality, I must be unattractive."
-> _come to terms with harsh reality_
-> _think I am unattractive_
-> "This means that in reality, I must be attractive."
-> _delude myself into thinking this^_
*REPEAT AD INFINITUM*
Better to recognize this truth than delude yourself though like lota of people
Easy ask your crush out they will tell you
that's me
Omg yes exactly
Most average-looking guys and unattractive guy pretend to be attracted to a woman just so his attempts to get her alone appear natural - once he has her alone, she rarely escapes his manipulation - I've heard this from many young ladies.
I don't deny objective beauty, but I'll tell you what, if you maintain a healthy bodyweight and care somewhat about yourself, you're already better off than most of the people in the United States.
I work out, and I've been on a skin care routine. I'm only 134, but I still need to work on my eating
@@BitchChill I realized I didnt need so many skin products once I had changed my diet. I
I feel a strange conection with you
@@BitchChill You are 134 yrs old?!
@@mrd2342 I literally thought the same thing
being legitimately unattractive is crazy because the people in your life will fr lie to you about it thinking it makes you feel better
I mean would you prefer they tell you outright you’re ugly?
@@0Mynameisearl0 yes.
@@0Mynameisearl0 I'll prefer the harsh truth, over a comforting lie. It's much smarter to live with an accurate view on reality
Really??
@@0Mynameisearl0 Yep
That's goes for everything
Someone asked me to rate them, I gave them a 5/10.. That is supposed to be AVERAGE. What most people will rate as. They got offended and said they must at least be a 7. I feel like we give people 7s as average instead of 5s.
50% would be an F grade in US schools, and a 70% would be a C grade which is average, so maybe that affects people’s judgement of ratings?
@@hideoeduardokojima8340 yeah thats probably got something to do with it.
I never understand people who ask for an honest rating and then get upset at you for telling them what you really think. It’s just so incredibly stupid
@@notsocooldude7720 I know. Like, dude, you asked for my honest opinion, I gave you what you asked for. I guess what they "asked for" isn't what they wanted
I learned in uni something about statistics. A customer rating any lower than a 7/10 was considered bad. 7/10 was considered the minimum standard for approval.
I wouldn’t say attractive people tend to be aware of how important it is. I know this is purely anecdotal, but from what I’ve seen, most good looking people out there who tell you looks don’t matter and that it’s about confidence or charisma because they want to attribute their success to what they think that can control as opposed to giving all the credit to their genetics. It’s like how people who were born into riches try to tell the average Joe that he’ll be rich too if he just works hard enough and shoots for the stars or some bullshit like that
So true.
Right. All of the confidence in the world is not going to make you objectively attractive. All the hard work and sleepless nights isn’t going to make you rich if you work a low skill job.
With attractiveness comes bountiful compliments to boost your confidence. With all the money in the world, it doesn’t matter if you work your ass off or slack, You’ll still be rich unless you’re bad with your money.
There’s a lot of dishonesty when it comes to those things. Looks are important and generational wealth makes a difference
You are wrong tho. Being attractive and unattractive (for men) totally depends on your grooming.
@@Yeahagreed come on dude, i can groom up nicely but that's not going to make me tom cruise
I hope you don’t automatically give credit for any attractive person’s success to their appearance though. Also it’s true that if you work hard enough and shoot for the stars you will get rich sooo
To me there has always been a stark difference between attractive and good looking. There are many physically appealing people, but often I do not find them attractive, even though I can see they're good looking (eg. Brad Pitt/Megan Fox). Then there's people who may not have extreme physical beauty, but everything about them is so attractive to me (eg. Gerard Butler/Barbra Streisand). Attraction is what I feel, beauty is what I see
Actually he’s done a video on this about how people find the average proportional face more attractive than the extremely pretty or symmetrical faces
I had to look up Gerard 😂 and Omgg he’s so cute
I have heard this described as "ugly hot" and "hot ugly," i.e. Channing Tatum being "good looking" but unattractive, and Willem Dafoe being "strange looking" but attractive. Ya feel?
THIS 🙌🏼 i had a phase in which I loved gerard and barbra
I’ve never really understood the hype about Brad Pitt and a Megan Fox. I get they have decently attractive faces, but nothing special or amazing.
@@katpage9378 I never found Brad Pitt attractive myself. Kind of average.
A lot of the comments here seem to support the notion of being honest to others about their perceived physical attractiveness, but as someone who’s always been told from a young age to do xyz to become prettier or that I’m not pretty enough, I would never EVER mention people‘s physical flaws to their face. I think most people are already aware of their flaws and I‘d hate to cause insecurities about looks, since looks aren’t everything and don’t even last forever.
I completely agree, however this video makes an awesome point which is the people who are average or below walk around thinking that they're above average looking and, it really annoys most people! You are right maybe we shouldn't but, most of us want to put them in their place because of their bragging. I doubt people go around telling humble or kind people that they're not that attractive only the ones who are arrogant.
If people ask you for advice be honest but never just tell them they're unattractive out of the blue
I mean if someone asked me i will tell them the truth
trueee, and tbh i've noticed in myself- when i go out feeling confident, i get a lot of compliemnts on my looks but when i go out all insecure about my looks, i get close to none. So like even if someone's unattractive- if you keep bringing it up, making them insecure, purely based on my experience i feel like they'll then not appear as attractive to their full potential.
(unrelated, but i have two mirrors in my house and the lighting a placement of them makes me look better in one than the other- so even though i know i remain the same as i am irl, i always leave my house after having looked at the mirror that makes me look good lol. confidence is importantt)
@@riorio745 yessss
It is also just genuinely hard to rate your own attractiveness, as your face is one you have seen millions of times and are strongly identified with.
I can only rate my attractiveness based on how other people react to me. When I am nice to others, they are generally nice to me. Is that because niceness is attractive?
@@ninamartin1084 not necessarily. I think people are just being respectful.
Well this kind of videos can help
I overheard a group of about 10 pretty attractive women in a restaurant talking about how odd looking Robert Pattinson is. One commented he had weird eyes and teeth. These women weren't rude people they were incredibly polite and gracious to the waiters and they were all talking about their children at various points before anyone assumes they were a bunch of stuck up bimbos. This to me proves universal attractiveness doesn't exist there's probably women that think Brad Pitts face is average. People need to stop being so insecure about something we have literally no control over.
@@patrickbatman141 I also think Robert Pattinson looks weird, never found him attractive to be honest and didn't understand the hype😅 yet I know that my taste is not universal. and this really proves that attractiveness is hard to measure
TBH I always thought people said 7/10 because of what it conveys, more than it's literal interpretation, at least in the casual setting. It says, hey, I acknowledge I am not the most attractive person in the room, but I have some self esteem. I think giving yourself a ranking below 6 or 5 can feel like you're asking people to feel bad for you or to pity you, and that can come across as unattractive in and of itself, rather than honest.
Also I think, at least in the US, we have a heavy association with those numbers and grades, so 7/10 is a C or average, where 6 and below is a failing grade, even though 5/10 is in the middle on this scale. Of course for a study all these numbers would be defined and instructions would be given, but I do think causally when someone says they're a 7/10 they're not actually saying or thinking they're above average.
That's a great analysis of it
imo this is exactly right on both points. 7/10 is what most Americans consider to actually mean average - not great, not bad. when I imagine a 5 it's someone with no attractive physical qualities. Even if that doesn't actually make sense in terms of percentiles
Couldn't agree more. If someone calls me a 5/10, I will think I'm ugly because that's a "fail."
Great points!
damn so if someone is above average would they assume 8 or 9 as the no ?
In my personal experience with hot friends, the reason they underestimate their attractiveness is because they have access to more attractive friend groups, so they know what a REAL 9 or 10 looks like because they see them more often, and judge themselves against models instead of average people.
i thought 9 or 10s were extremely rare?
Something rare about me is when I compare myself with average people I feel really ugly but when I compare myself with supermodels I feel the same as them
@@carmenmontero4931 you're an insecure narcissist. Look it up
People tell me I'm gorgeous but one of my best friends looks like Margot Robbie.
@@TeteteR this is a good analogy
These videos are the worst thing for my mental health and self esteem, but I can't stop watching them.☹️
same
edit: it actually made me feel better lol, he described the things i do ( comparing my self to attractive ppl, thinking i am not attractive and thinking that beauty is mostly about the face ) and put them in the group ofthings that attractive ppl do
In that case, I recommend watching Lorry Hills' videos. Most celebrities are not naturally this good-looking, even the men. Lorry's videos gave me a lot of self-esteem, because what we see in Hollywood is just not natural at all.
Ikr, let's learn why we are ugly :'D
@@meropedurwood5514 I watch her videos too, but when I hear the prices of plastic surgery procedures I feel even worse for being ugly _and_ broke.
Yeah, as if I don't feel ugly enough
Sir, if my current rating is overestimating, then my true rating gotta be in the negatives lmao.
Facts lmao
trueee hahahaha
relatable
Man.
Relatable af
I like that unattractive people feel that they are attractive. If it makes them feel good I'm all for it.
No. They should not be allowed to indulge in their delusion. They should actually attack the problem instead of try to deflect and project. That's how we get things like "fat acceptance"
@@angellover02171 Because you should always want to improve your quality of life. If you have a good job, great. Strive to further your position. And for physical attractiveness especially, you should definitely want to improve it. It effects you at least minorly in every situation. It's called the halo effect.
@@riorio745 I never advocated for self loathing. I advocate for self awareness, which stifles change. Your analogy was correct but it wasn't relevant. Of course personality matters and will make "a 4/10 better than an 4/10 without the personality." But a 6/10 with a 4/10 personality is going to be better than a 4/10 physically but a 6/10 personality. Physical appearance carries more weight than personality. It's going to be more efficient to improve your looks than to improve your personality. And attractiveness maybe "your overall vibe" but that overall vibe is primarily looks.
@@riorio745 100% agree with everything you just said. Where's the contention supposed to be? My main point was that looks are the most important to improve. Improving looks first a personality later. It's easier to improve your personality when you are more confident in yourself because you look better.
@@xijinping3331 I speak from experience: what you just said is absolute nonsense and the exact argument of an abuse apologist. I've never been a supermodel, but I was objectively more physically attractive when I was younger than I am now - and I was MISERABLE. Men only liked me for what they thought they could get, women resented me and that literally made me feel lower than dirt. When I put on weight, I stopped getting attention, but my confidence went up because I prioritised my EMOTIONAL HEALTH. Do I like my body? No. But I like MYSELF, and that's something outside opinions about my looks can't change. Being hygienic & pleasant is a very different enterprise to trying to change your physical body to either try to appeal to a current beauty fad, or try to live up to a standard of beauty that very few people actually have.
if i had a cent for every time i got called cute by a girl, i'd have two cents, which isn't alot but it's weird that it happened twice.
Mom and grandma i guess xd
"cute" isn't that great of a compliment either
Here, have a dime on me
You're cute.
i bet you remember those moments as well as the most cringe memories 😉
The way I see myself is a rollercoaster , there are some small moments where I’m like “I look good “ but then few seconds later it’s just roller coaster of “ ugh how ugly can a person be “
I thought i was the only one. do you know why that is?
@@origamiscotty I wish I knew , it’s so weird that you can see 2 completely different things when looking at the same thing with your own eyes
this is me af especially with pictures T^T sometimes i see a picture of myself and think i look alright, maybe even pretty, and other times i’ll see a picture of myself and think i look so ugly i want to jump off a cliff
Same lmao :’). Ouchies.
@@kiki-qp7jx same here
I definitely looking down on myself because they're too many phisycaly attractive people. I'm average but it's difficult because you see all these attractive people and you feel like you are just bland and boring looking
Physical attractiveness shouldn't be the only thing you think you can offer. There are far more important things in the world than being physically attractive. Concentrate on your career, hobbies, art etc instead of comparing yourself to people on the basis of looks. 🥰
@@dr.anaB777 True. It has to do a lot with your own insecurities too. At the end, like you said, working on our inner selves can change the way we see ourselves on the outside, and most importantly on the inside
@@firsttimeisawjupiter1031 yesss! I think sports and art are a great way to realise that your body isn't just meant to be looked at, it makes you concentrate on the utilitarian aspect of your body instead of obsessing on the aesthetics alone.
Most people in daily life are average. I don'tt see Sean O'Pry at every corner...
Facial Expression and Body Language also can make someone attractive or unattractive
This is why I try to always keep a mindset of underestimating myself as much as possible so I wouldn't be too disappointed when I receive reviews (rare as they are) but it's probably a bad mindset because of what it does to my tiny confidence.
All in all, it's probably best to just not give a darn.
But at the end we are human...how can we not give a fuck?
@@smallypuppy22 i dont but also im autistic
Don’t underestimate yourself, Because you just might be good enough but couldn’t believe it then somebody might do it even though they weren’t good enough. (Talking from experience)
You should always overestimate yourself. You only get one life on this earth. Wbat other people think of you doesnt matter only what you think of yourself. Walk into every room as the biggest baller there and he your own cheerleader. Youre amazing and you deserve it. Putting uourself down servers 0 purpose in life.
Nah analyse yourself and also we can be more or less attractive to people depending on their standards. Like I think I'll prolly be 4-5-6 any depending on the person who sees🤷♀️and who knows maybe 3 if people have extreme standards.
“Rate yourself on a scale from 1 - 10 you cannot use 7” - Kevin Samuels
Sums up the video
I've been watching this channel for months bc I was fascinated by the content. I'm a biologist and seeing human aesthetics scientifically analyzed is really interesting to me, but I also wanted to figure out the point of this channel besides maybe making people realize why they feel ugly/ "why they're ugly". A lot of the stuff on here is genuinely interesting, but a lot of it (especially when the video is titled like this one) makes me question the point of presenting things like this in an age where body dysmorphia and physical insecurities are through the roof. I think this channel might be exploiting vulnerable people's insecurities and possiby leading them into the plastic surgery path in a way I've never seen done before. Anyways, this might be the last video I'm watching unless something catches my interest (like daily things you can hypothetically do to improve the development of physical features an early stage in life - that stuff's truly fascinating and something I can apply to my children instead of lying to them about how carrots give you green eyes, lol). I hope everyone watching these videos takes care of themselves 💖 you deserve to be loved and feel beautiful; get plastic surgery and whatnot if you want, but always remember that at every stage of your physical appearance, you are worth so much!
The fact that he keeps linking back to plastic surgery and surgeons is sus.
@@ellcally508 it does not surprise me bc if you go to the website, among the QOVES Studio consultants are a bunch of surgeons (they are probably plastic surgeons although it doesn't specify what type of surgery they specialize in) and under the description of what they do on UA-cam says "to teach our audiences the basics of what we do and what to look for." (that's directly quoted).
@@corvidox9137 yea...like an advertisement channel.
@@ellcally508 yes! But in a weird way where it kinda feels like SciShow or "fun science facts", but it's about people's features and while also directly benefiting from insecurities surrounding them outside of views and the sharing of knowledge. I always thought that the fact that they offer a personal "facial aesthetics analysis" felt quite fucked up, tbh.
@@corvidox9137 Agreed. I'm not subscribed.
I used to be below average looking. Now, thanks to jaw surgery, I'm average looking, think 5/10. The difference in how people treat me is absolutely depressing. I hate this world.
Being bitter will keep you trap in suffering, you need to stop thinking about your probably traumatic past if you desire to enjoy your new face, in others times parents will murder children with a malformed jaw so in a way we are lucky to be alive, lol.
What's the difference though? You won't get pretty privilege unless you're above average.
@@sarah37452That’s the sad part. They aren’t being treated “extraordinary”. Their difference is probably getting bullied for their looks (let’s assume jaw) and now being treated like an average person (not being ridiculed or bullied for there jaw). Literally just human decency.
Yeah I lost some my jaw line
What do you mean by 'jaw surgery'?
Meh, I know I am not attractive or most people's first choice. I accepted that a long time ago. It's not hard to figure out by HS if you're the "pretty one". I am relatively healthy and able-bodied, I am not going to cry tears because I am not beautiful. I think I'll save those tears for not being rich 🤣.
u r pretty tho😭😭
@@sofaham3706 Being a Black women is complicated. You have to be exceptionally beautiful and look like Beyoncé to be anyone’s first choice. They’ve done dating studies on it.
But I appreciate you saying that!
@@JessieBanana not black but as a dark-skinned woc i get what you mean!! still, you should recognize your wonderful bone structure and facial harmony too, your lips and eyes are especially stunning
@@riorio745 Lol, am I supposed to grateful for your acknowledgment? I didn’t say I was ugly, I said I wasn’t attractive. I know I am not the in the top prettiest people in the room. Like anyone else, I can can dress nice, wear makeup, and do my hair in a way to enhance the good features I have.
I disagree with the “by high school” part. I would say give it till your mid 20s
being unattractive is like playing life on hard mode difficulty but being an unattractive asian male is like playing the dark souls trilogy with no hit run challenge mode
This made me laugh, I'm sorry 😭
@FuckOuttaHere he's obviously referring to as an asian male in a western country not in their native ones
True. Im not even one and I know you must have your A game - to be smart, creative, confident, driven, with a sense of humor, great style, to know how to dress and what a hair cut to have, to have a good job/education, basicly to rate a 10 in every other aspect of your personality and life, just to even the score and maybe to win. Short and unatractive is a great set back.
When you hit the bingo: short, ugly, and ethnic
Get good job and hire escorts.
What criteria do unattractive and attractive use to define their level of attractiveness? I feel like researching on these differences would be interesting!
i think it’s depends on how people interact with each other when about looks, so if someone attractive does not receive interaction that’s centered around how attractive they are they may not feel as if they are cause if they were, people would probably talk about it, right? idk
I think it’s about proportion and exaggeration of desired features (lips, eyes, cheekbones) And external factors. If groups of people treat you as unattractive or less attractive, you have your answer
This channel already have a lot of video about what makes a face attractive in a objective way. This series' name is "Defining beauty". You can check it out.
@@princessazula624 yeah but that’s not what OP is talking about
@@hannahbanana687 but I think that is the answer. It’s generally culturally agreed upon standards…
I find myself finding people either more attractive or less attractive based on their personality. There is definitely a psychological component to attraction. Connecting with someone definitely increases their attractiveness.
halo effect
Yeah I feel there is definitely a difference between how beautiful someone is and how attractive they are
Indeed! I recall this guy from my college: a videogames nerd with bright ginger hair (which is very unusual and for reasons I don't understand, not very esthetically appreciated in my country), glasses, chubby body or something more, severe acne and a taste for clothes I could call weird to say the least, and there were at least 5 girls (those I knew about at least) who would have thrown themselves into the fire for him. It was all about his personality, once you were friends with him, it was like having a personal sunshine of your own you would never want to leave.
Beauty is attainable in this day and age but not for everyone. People think plastic surgery will make anyone look pretty but it’s not true. You only look super pretty after plastic surgery when you are pretty or somewhat attractive to begin with. Not everyone looks beautiful or extremely attractive after plastic surgery and this is a fact. We see so many people on insta getting fillers and rhinoplasty bbl implants but not all of them look good or attractive with their surgery. It’s only when you are pretty enough to begin with that plastic surgery makes u even more attractive. this is a harsh reality but this needs to be said because people believe that plastic surgery is a quick fix to all their problems but it’s really not!
To be honest very unattractive people usually have something severe that can be the cause of the unattractiveness
Like a severe malocclusion that be corrected with surgery
@@ahhh4117 yes you are right but if that’s the only thing that will make them attractive then it’s to go for but some people who don’t have attractive eyes or facial bone structure think that by getting one rhinoplasty will drastically change their appearance and they will be Kylie Jenner 2.0 but this is not true. You can get surgery be less unattractive and be good looking but you can’t expect to look like monica belucci after a nose job you know what I mean
Spot on.
@@hengwen8627 what a garbage take lol
This theory doesn't apply to Kiley Jenner. She went from plain and unattractive to kind of gorgeous and stunning. Although I've never seen her in person, maybe she's not as attractive as she appears to be on camera.
Just a reminder, 7 is not average.
neither is 6, its more like 4-5
Exactly
Only 5-6% population are 7 it's pretty crazy and 8 are like around 1-2%
True - I used to underestimate myself, but since puberty I had HUGE attention from most girls, without making any effort, plus I heard that “handsome”, “very handsome” from different men and women (not only from my mother and grandmother, lol) I compare myself to models and think my face is 7/10
*_Basically, you are trying to say that I'm uglier than I think I am._* PLEASE STOP THIS SERIES. 😭😭😭
the video is actually the opposite, its telling you if you think youre not attractive and comparing your self to attractive ppl youre probably attractive
Lol
Felt 🤣😭😭
Best way to know is to see how the opposite sex are around you.
@@seif9923 Nah man. Everyone is comparing themselves to attractive people. No-one's looking at Quasimodo and wondering "Yeah, I think I'm prettier"
If it's based on surveys people can also lie to look better. Most attractive people tend to fake being humble about their looks
It’s true that we treat people differently based off of physical attributes. These videos show us how society has put physical attraction on a pedestal. In my opinion, we can either watch this video and decide how to make ourselves look more attractive…or we can recognize that we carry an unconscious bias (it’s part of our nature) and decide to treat everyone equally regardless of how they look. We have to be aware of ourselves when we’re treating someone differently.
I think the reason why we put attraction on a pedestal is because it's our nature to do so. No need to blame society too. Just observe how we humans act. We put filters on our selfies, make-up on our faces, and do surgeries just to have an inch of beauty standards.
There have been studies that physical appearance counts mostly in first impression situations, but not when you know a person a little more. After a while we won't notice the appearance that much or that strongly. Or it even reverses, seeing someone having unattractive personality traits or completely different views makes them look uglier.
Unfortunately, there are many situations where we never make any meaningful connection and where pretty people feel the privilege.
good luck fighting your own subconcious
I mean you’re definitely dancing around the topic of race when it comes to subjective attractiveness (which plays a huge role). For example, if someone isn’t into white guys, they’ll label basically every white guy as “average” at best. To most Asians, a dark-skinned person can never be highly attractive, only moderately attractive at best due to one big “flaw”, whereas their skin tone definitely isn’t necessarily a problem in western countries. By claiming that there’s a universal standard of beauty, wouldn’t you be saying that only one particular race holds most of these standards? It’s just not possible for all races to have all of those characteristics.
The base pillars are still the same: well proportioned face and body, symmetrical face, healthy skin (including hair, nails, theeth), well groomed. Then the second part is more determined by the local standards: bodytype, fashion, certain features.
These videos trying to be objective and scientific in a topic that is highly subjective by trying to find relations, why are there similar "base quality" to atractivness worldwide and how the local standards can change (or refuse to change) by the influence of media and globalism.
So the question is: Is there an universal beauty and if there is then how can we measure it. (And will the local standards ever change worldwide to a universal one? This part is more related what you mentioned and it is a good point. )
I think it's really interesting how controversial this topic is but at the same time in a group/society there still exist a conventional idea of beauty.
exactly , this channel is BS
right? but this is a non-black person’s channel so what they see as beautiful is different than what black people see so it’ll never be totally unbiased.
@@kaylabey the guy who is narrating/ runs qoves is indian
@@beat80 oh okay, thank you for the clarification. i feel like india’s beauty standard still is very centered around western ideology
It's a combination of familiarity and self preservation. Nobody wants to have to acknowledge that they are ugly. I think women are much much more aware of where they are on the scale though. Comparing yourself to others and how much attention you get from the opposite gender is the biggest indicator. My favourite thing is when people say to me 'Well atleast your not deformed' that's how you know your ugly ugly is when people can't even lie about it lmao 😭😭
the last part 😭😭😭
@@lol42069. I know right, brutal
@@mstarburst well u seem like a cool person. That gives u like +3 points
@@infernal.. haha aw I wish
@@infernal.. haha aw I wish
i feel like the science used in this video doesn't really take into account other factors like self esteem and cultural beauty standards that will influence how you see yourself and others. it's not as simple as 'oh look, ugly person rated themselves a 7 they are so deluded'. maybe I am projecting but I think that most people are insecure, especially people that are not conventionally attractive bc they have been getting negative feedback about their looks for their whole lives. and I agree with other comments that we might view 5 on a 0-10 scale as low (considering that is basically the 'fail' threshold for things like school, not the average), so I think most people think that 7 is the average for looks (even tho 5 is technically the average). I also don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to overestimate your attractiveness
i also think 7 is like the 'polite' answer? it's not too low so when you answer, it doesnt make the room feel weird/bad for you and it;s not too high so you don't come off conceited
It is a bad thing to overestimate your attaction. You let people deal with there problems not allow them to delude themselves so that they don't have to deal with it.
@@xijinping3331 explain to me why exactly it is important or necessary for someone to exactly know their attractiveness level, especially if that person is unattractive. If the large majority of people are so inclined to perceive themselves as more attractive than they are 'objectively' then maybe it's actually advantageous to do so, or at least not extremely harmful. Just because something is true doesn't mean it is especially helpful information.
There is also the familiarity effect. You like faces you see more often. And guess which face you see most often!
I have always quite liked my own face, though I was always aware that (unfortunately) it's not what most women go for.
@@bungaTV3831 Here's exactly why it is important to know your physical attraction level: it makes you more realistic and self aware. If you are a 5/10 but think that you are a 7/10, it will make you think you deserve a 7/10. But that would be a delusion. And when you realize that you are actually a 7/10, it humbles you and stifles change. Changing to increase your physical appearance because it is one of the most important characteristic that you have.
I was feeling good about myself lately, this put me back in check, thanks.
Lol , same 😀😭🤧🤣🤣🤣
🤣
Its weird, because I think I am attractive, but I don’t think other people would find me attractive. So i don’t know if i’m confident or insecure lol
The easiest way to find out is to make a tinder account and use it for about a month and then compare your stats to the average
Same 😭😭😂💔
Listen if people treat you well without contributing especially form the opposite sex then consider yourself attractive. But hey it’s not too hard to know if you’re conventionally attractive or average or not
@@notsocooldude7720 but its easy to manipulate angles and filters for photos, in person is different
@@genericchannel126 but if you’re doing it to see your rating why would you so that?
I think my rating would be accurate bc there have always been things I didn’t like about my appearance, and now that I watch Quoves, I know that I’m right. 🙂
I've had this explained to me and I bestow this upon you lot. The 1-10 scale is not a symmetrical scale. The average is 7, not 5. MOST people are not ugly. They're not great looking but they're sort of average looking people (provided they take care of themselves a bit). Big nose, weird head, etc might put you at a 6 or 5, and good looks will put you at 8+. 4 and below is not for gen pop. This is for disfigured people, birth defects, severe malformations, diseased states, etc. This is why most people rate themselves as a 7.
Ok thank you.
This is exactly right. I think most people perceive 1-10 scale as 5 meaning "neither attractive nor actively repulsive." So any amount of attractiveness actually starts above 5. But most decently healthy people have at least some attractive characteristics. Thus most people are 7s
7 is not the avarage. 7 is 'somehow attractive but not much". The problem is that we people only care about someothing, a book, a movie, a vacation, a job, if its above avarage. No one wants to watch a 2 hours movie that have 5/6 score on the IMDB. Or to eat from a taco truck that have 2 1/2 stars out of 5 on some food rating site. For our brains avarage is a bad investment.
@@alexforce9 I think this also has to do with how we define the word "average." In casual speech it often means "normal" or "acceptable" whereas obviously it means something more precise mathematically. If someone asked me to judge whether a given person is more attractive than 70% of the population but not 80%, I don't think I could gauge that consistently; I don't think it's possible for individuals to even use the 1-10 rating system in that way with any accuracy. So we use 1-10 as a scale of bad to great with 5 being "neither good nor bad." But we tend to consider "normal/acceptable" looks to have something desirable in them, even if it's not much. In that sense, 7 is "average" in that it's kind of a minimum most people hope to be and/or for their partner to be imo. Average in the sense of expectations, not in a mathematical sense.
Makes sense.
Not knowing you are unattractive while being unattractive is something which is very normal. Our ancestors never had mirrors to rate their appearance. Hence no one really was insecure.
Meh. Others judge vocally.
Ancestors must of been really ugly compare to today stands they must of been covered in scars missing limbs
@@theoriesandscience468 our ancestors showed interest based off of physical markers of health. Most people conflate physical attractiveness with beauty, and I suspect this may have occurred in the studies.
We've covered this on our podcast but our ancestors did have a very strong idea of attractiveness as it equates to genetic health and reproductive fitness. It has always mattered and will continue to matter, just like it does for every other organism. A shiny rock is good enough to be a mirror, being able to recognise self is what separates us from lesser primates.
@@QOVESStudio Never mind rocks. There's a thing called "water." It's like this liquid and you can get a bit of it into a bowl or something and it shows you what you look like. It's super high-tech, so you probably never saw one before.
I figured out my attractiveness based on my gut feelings. If I saw a woman and got uneasy insecure feelings then I knew she was more attractive than me. If I feel normal then I'm the one more attractive. Funnily enough, the women who I feel insecure about have the exact same features/aesthetic as me. Kind of like I'm looking into a mirror but seeing a better version. Interesting topic.
I loved your comment, but your last sentence need a whole video for itself
So if someone was supposedly the "same" level of attraction to you, how would you feel? Can you not just feel "normal" if you're the same level of attraction? I see good looking guys and I don't feel uneasy unless I'm actually interested in them, developed feelings for them, and don't know where we stand.
xod0llfacex3 no I feel like that would bring more insecurity cause now there is focus on minor differences pointed out whereas someone who is in an entirely different league either better or worse there’s no need to even bother comparing. Almost like coming down to your top two and then to narrow it down to one person you get even more picky and particular about what is and isnt.
the whole thing about feeling insecure over ppl who have similar aesthetic or features is soooo interesting lmaooaao
If i see women looking the same in attractive level like me, then i am mostly not liking their looks. I have better picture in my head of myself, and then if someone mirrors me, i am not happy. But maybe that is just me, think that it might be combined with trauma, dissociation and my narcissistic traits.
Our confidence can definitely change on how others react to us; sometimes it's not even through words but just noticing people check you out or approaching you that makes you acknowledge that you're attractive, even if you're not specifically searching for those things to happen. When people are attracted to you, their behaviour changes subconsciously and you pick up on it, which changes self-perception.
7 isn’t average 5 is which is almost everyone. People will always think they’re a 7 8 9 but those ratings are rare and aren’t seen everyday.
Im pretty sure 7 was meant as the average number that people rate themselves. A lot of people tend to rate themselves slightly above the middle in almost everything
@Etevaldo Skylab agreed, 8s and 9s are rare. 6s and 7s are relatively common. 5s are the majority. and 10s..well I've yet to see a 10 irl.
How do you know if you're attractive or above average anyway? Is it the frequency of compliments? The attractiveness of the partners you date? How well people treat you?
They actually have a video on this exact topic.
If you’re rating on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being ugly and 10 being gorgeous, 7 tends to be the average. This scale tends to be logarithmic with only the very unattractive falling below 6.
However if you’re doing it on a percentile where 1 is the bottom 10% of attractiveness and 10 is you are literally the most attractive person in the entire world, most people would fall between 3-5 and above average would be 6-7 and the distribution is more normal.
@@PrismaticEmblem look, someone that understands statistics.
Another video to bring down my confidence
If you've lived off on "pretty privilege" chances are, you are more than 7/10. Easiest measurement. Society's actions don't lie.
Best comment. Short and straight to the fookin brutal truth. No unnecessary details and bs. 10/10 would read again lol
@@Marko50000 exactly, I don't think I have pretty privilege bc I'm like a 5. I think I have innocent/smart looking privilege though because people think I'm smart and don't suspect me of anything (not that they should).
I think that not everyone benefits from pretty privilege. By that i mean POC. A beautiful black women wont be treated in the same way as beautiful white woman in American or even Asian society for example. Pretty privilege exists but it weights differetly on women and men of colour
The thing is it's not that easy with that either. Sometimes men will stop me of all girls on the streets to talk to, or go out of their way to open a door for me. Sometimes they will literally try to walk through me as if I'm invisible, step over my feet, like whatever. And there are men of any level of attractiveness on both sides of this. So then... What does that make me? 👀
Can you give examples of pretty privilege?
I googled it but I didnt get much wiser.
I'm ignorant so I guess I'm not that pretty 🤔
I keep asking myself the question "if I could go back to before I knew the specifics on what makes a face attractive, would I learn it?" don't get me wrong, living in delusion is way worse if you already know what's attractive and choose to remain ignorant, but I'd be lying if I said my mental hasn't been going down since becoming aware of it all
same :(
@@riorio745 it’s the best way to make yourself suicidal
Before i knew exactly what makes men attractive, i was always thinking and stressing about it, because it seemed so random. At least understanding it gave some peace of mind.
@@riorio745 I agree here. I'm the type of person that always feels like they have to know things even when they're damaging my mental health- but that's not the truth. You truly do not have to keep watching these videos. I say just try to maintain humility and develop confidence, so that way if you were to come back to these videos one day and hear you were objectively a 2, you would be able to say 'okay', and perhaps if you'd like to, improve on it using tips. Then you could simply move on without any heavy blow to your self esteem.
In my opinion, life isn't meant to be this obsession over things you cannot change. Yes, it's good if you can maintain a healthy weight, exercise , have a good skincare routine (if you need it) etc, but if it comes down to stuff like bone structure, then I don't think people should dwell on it too much. And you can learn not to when you don't let these sort of channels/content define who you are.
Enjoy life, and realize beauty is NOT everything! Most people I find attractive in real life are like 4/5s, but because of their confidence, decent maintenance of what they can control (hair, weight, skin, hygiene) and kindness they're more beautiful to me then other way more attractive people. [Edit = even if noone on this earth were to find you attractive, you can still enjoy many other aspects of life outside of romantic relationships]
Hope you all flourish as human beings, wishing you the best ❤️
(Personally, I'm a Christian too and following the bible + developing my faith has really allowed me to not let these things dictate who I am, Jesus wasn't a beautiful human, he was average/unattractive and he's truly the greatest human to exist lol)
ngl i kinda think all of this is lil desperate, no offence to anybody involved but to be THIS involved and obsessed with being 'good looking' idk, it's bizarre, even if it makes sense cause it has all these scientific studies backing it all up, it's still a tad bit too much. also just my twisted logic but i believe if we're way too invested in something, it just drifts further away from us. wierd fkn logic but yea
Nope, i know im unattractive. Always knew it. once you accept it things become a lot more real. You focus on talent and character.
but you look ok tho?
which can make you attractive again.
Thank you for bringing up other factors that are so important, Black HatTy! You lose your beauty with age, but nobody can take away your talent + skills!
29 years old and I’ve never been complimented on my looks by a member of the opposite sex who wasn’t my mom, an aunt, or a grandma.
It doesn’t get to me most of the time, but I’d like to think if I really were at least conventionally “attractive”, SOMEONE (not a family member) would’ve told me by now.
I don’t think I’m necessarily ugly, but it’s led me to believe I’m just an average duck.
Hi 👋 if it helps if you change your photo I'm happy to give you an honest opinion! 😊 im a realisim artist so I actually study and consider what is physically attractive for my artwork.
It’s likely because women don’t often compliment men as much as men do women. It’s just sort of how it it is so don’t take it too personally I’d say. Even if you’re a real knocker most women aren’t gonna call you that. Idk what you look like but it likely doesn’t mean you’re ugly.
@@octaviawinter9768 this is right, maybe if you have a girlfriend she will tell you that
Mood
Probably.
"No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl"
~Marilyn Monroe
Everyone reading this. Looks AREN’T everything. when you die it’s the last thing people are going to think about. CHARACTER. MONEY isn’t everything. Are you HAPPY? Is what matters. Be yourself & be a good person. THATS IT
People could care less about the truth 'cause their eyes are so fixed on materialistic things of yhis wotld and not on on our final destinations
Some people can never be happy if they are unattractive. Why is this so hard for people to digest?
@@penglkarp Then why do attractive peiple get depressed. And people with dwarfism cab be happy? Don't mislead people into thinking that being ugly makes you sad forever
@@ChickenNugget-zh9bn Emotions are part of humans so attractive people getting depressed doesn't change the fact of beauty being mostly objective and genetic. Yeah we'll all die but that doesn't matter now yet. The reason why most people are being fucked is because we are being lied about the reality of beauty and the sciences behind it by our family, friends, and society.
looks are important but as you said they ARE NOT EVERYTHING
I have lived on both sides of the scale. I don’t know if anyone will read or relate to this but here’s my take for those interested.
Growing up I was objectively physically unattractive and I knew it. I had no real concept of what determined physical attractiveness though so I didn’t understand why. I didn’t really care though. Sure, it hurt not being considered attractive by most but you get used to it. Maybe because of that, the impact physical attractiveness had in my life changed to suit my circumstances. Attractive & unattractive people didn’t really look too different to me. You don’t focus on or value looks as much if you know you’re not a looker. I don’t think it’s necessarily a choice like the video implies but more of a subconscious adaptation.
At 18, puberty rapidly reshaped my entire face over ~1.5 years. Suddenly people were commenting on how attractive I was and the opinions were…mixed. I was better than some and worse than others. It all made no sense to me, but as I looked in the mirror more often, two things happened: 1. I struggled more to identify with who I saw & 2. I no longer had anyone to compare myself to.
I think people heavily underestimate the effect of familiarity on attractiveness and self-concept. The video was spot on in saying that people best determine their own attractiveness through comparing with others. I didn’t understand that watching my face change had made me aware of subtle differences in faces I never saw before. For the first time ever, I could genuinely see certain people were more or less attractive than others, but like many others, I couldn’t pinpoint why. Where everyone looked the same (flat line) there was now much more disparity (sloped line).
With help from this channel, I grew a deeper understanding of how beauty works. When it comes to myself, I acknowledge I am objectively attractive now, but I do not believe I am as attractive as others say. I believe most attractive people think similarly, especially those who have not always been attractive. I think attractive people rate themselves lower than the objective rating because they are more aware of those better looking than them. Only a select few truly deserve to be in that 90th percentile. In the sense that you can be amazing at a sport, but you know a true prodigy would humble you. In combination with the tendency to focus less on looks among the objectively unattractive, I think this video is spot on in its overall observations.
Ofc, physical beauty is only a piece of what makes someone desirable so regardless of how attractive you are, please do focus on being a good person. Regardless where you are on the scale, looks can be improved, but they will not overcome a bad personality.
Looks are your personality though imo
@@ultimateloser3411 name checks out
I've been listening, and they haven't touched on the one point that I would think of first, familiarity with your own appearance.
I could see how that would impact both ends of the scale. Less-attractive people are comfortable with themselves on some base level, more-attractive people are used to themselves.
i thought about this as well!
One curious thing I’ve noticed as Ive gotten older is that a lot of people tell me attractive now and the inverse was that true when I was young (friends told me I was average/“plain”, men didn’t really give me the time of day).
My theory is that because my social circles consist of people in their 30s-40s now their standards of beauty are different to people in their early 20s, who are harsher critics because everyone is still in their prime and beautiful. The fact I’m thin and take care of my skin seems to give me an edge over other people in my age group, even though my “plain” face hasn’t changed and arguably gotten worse. I never take ratings seriously because I feel that environment is a huge factor.
I’m constantly told I’m pretty by children and that’d the biggest compliment 😅
Children are honest I heard
i am constantly told i am not ugly or handsome just normal
within inner self
so what is truth it's seems
same applies to you and everybody
We know who is pretty or handsome, and those who are attractive know it as well. However, it appears that those who are unattractive do not know that they are unattractive.
Most people are average and only a few unattractive people have high self esteem.
It's easy to know if you're a 8-10 or if you're a 1-2. The difficulty is in that murky area of 3-7. Especially for men, who never get a lot of attention (most men, even if quite attractive, aren't very popular). So people like to rate themselves above 5 to feel better about themselves.
We know but if we say it we get treated badly take it as a helnet thet if we fall it might hurt but the helmet will have donw a lil protecting
Most people don't even look average. Most people look unattractive. Average people look attractive, look easy on eyes. Continue to console yourself.
@@princessazula624 tbh i am ugly. When u genuinely say that in front of my friends they just console me. But i know truth
I clicked for robert pattinson but ended up getting my soul and whatever remaining dignity i had sucked out of me 😭 good to know tho
💀😭
One thing people shouldn't misunderstand though is that just because you rate your attractiveness very low does not mean you belong to the group of attractive people underestimating themselves, it might also be that you are simply realistic enough to be aware of your actual attractiveness.
Attractiveness really is a requirement for mental well being... no ifs or buts there
Not true
@@cutekoala5492 Yes it is absolutely true. Mental health comes from a feedback loop of positive reinforcement. Reinforcement which only comes from being good looking.
Nah, that thinking is flawed. If looks really make you happy then attractive people shouldn't be depressed
@@ChickenNugget-zh9bn looks wont make you happy, but the lack of looks will make you unhappy
@@andrepipo4542 What influences your happiness depends on your mindset. Some are disabled and unattractive but are grateful and make the best out of their lives. So it might be your thinking but we differ on what we believe. I just hope everyone lives appreciating their own blessings.
Tbh I think attractiveness is a vibe that you out off as a whole. Cuz there are so many beautiful people who are actually not desired or sought after. You have live attractive rather than just look it. I think people are truly after sexiness than beauty.
Sexiness is part of beauty though. You can't be called sexy if you have an ugly face. Therefore, it's still beauty.
@@ultimateloser3411 tell that to lil Wayne or adam driver.
@marshmxllow fluff exactly you but the nail on the head. No would say Ed Sheeran is the height of beauty but his vibe has gotten girls attracted to him even before he was famous. That’s why the stereotype exists that beautiful women always go for ugly guys.
What are you talking about. Beauty and sexy are intertwined. U cant be ugly and sexy at the same time come on what is this world come to
@@afghzr7729 yes you absolutely can 😂 Lil Wayne, Tyga, Steven Tyler, Jesy Nelson, Donatella Versace, Sarah Jessica Parker…..I can go on! Men and women flock to them…they are not beautiful lol.
I'm always humble that's why I am here to improve my looks
😂😂😂...
I know I'm ugly. and I rate myself as 2-3/10,
But I can't say I am ugly when there are people that literally get bullied for their appearance,
and get called as ugly, having hard time finding a relationship, finding a friend.
There are people that born with non-regular face structures, disabilities, even never get called as ugly, yet having hard time doing those things. in that case. I cant say I'm ugly. but, If someone says I'm ugly. I accept it because even I don't have those problems. I'm not that Attractive.
If thats you in the pfp then i’d say you are not ugly at all !!
I give myself 5 but with makeup , expensive cloth and heels I'm 8.5
If that's you in the pic, you're at LEAST a 5, if not higher (hard to tell with one pic)
Fuck off you’re literally not ugly.
You are exaggerating based on your Pfp you are a 4-5 (average to a little below average)maybe,anyways numeric scale is very weird
I can never tell, I look in the mirror and see 2 different people staring back at me. Sometimes I think I look awful, and others I think I look awfully good. Usually no in-between. I fixate on aspects of my appearance that no one else notices. I can never tell if compliments are genuine, or people being nice. I'm pretty sure it's Bodily Dysmorphic Disorder, and that I'll never see myself as I truly am. Even when I feel like a million-bucks, it only last a few minutes before I immediately think that I'm just wired to see myself as good looking. At time I've thought I could apply to a modeling agency if I just my skin to clear up. I've expressed these thoughts to others and they seemed to agree, but they might have been sparing my feelings. Hopefully someday it will be in my budget to get a comprehensive facial analysis, so I can take the subjectivity of it out.
The comment section did not quite pass the vibe check... I dunno, I actually quite liked this video. It's informative and real, what's not to like about that?
People often hate the truth
I’m guessing people forget that the statistics just show the data, and are not the rule.
Me too. It's informative.
You must not be ugly. Your kind does not belong here. This is fugly-country!
Tbh this whole video just sounded like it was trying to use science to undermine people's positive self image in order to get them to spend money to be assessed by Quoves studio... The info was solid but the angle sus af.
Ouch guess we’re due a reality check
I think this is a very interesting topic, because I think the central question is where do you stand on the social hierarchy, and how important it really is. The short answer is that it does and it doesn’t matter. It matters because your looks, class, race, gender etc. do ultimately play a large role in determining your life outcomes. On the other side of the coin, it doesn’t matter because no societal privilege is required for true fulfillment and happiness. It just seems like people go towards the two extremes where they either outright ignore the role of luck in their lives, or they become very envious of people that possess privilege.
How do u know that ur attractive? When other people give u extra attention stare at you? Want to be with you want to help you and try ways to talk to you?? I don’t even know lol
Yeah, I guess the attention people give you without knowing you is an indicative. I've seen women who are or look more voluptuous get more attention, while really pretty people, like with a face with beautiful features are less approached. I think people who have stunning facial features are more intimidatin somehow?
I don't know to be honest. It also depends on what a culture sees as beautiful
Idicators of interest, do you get a lot of them? Do people flirt with you?
yea but its hard, bc unless someone tells you you'll probably never know
Catch people staring at you, (They will immediately look away, as if they got caught doing something they shouldn't have done)Childern/Infants liking you immediately, People are polite and will to get into your good graces, Better job opportunities, Promotions, If you are a guy, passing by a group of girls they will tell each other to check you out, You will have 4-5 people staring at you, which can be awkward, People tolerate alot of shitty behaviour coming from a better looking person. And so on, There is alot of benifits with being attractive
ppl stopped me in the street to tell me, that happened at least 3 times. and once in starbucks when I was depressed and hadn't showered or shaved for days
Analyze Monica Bellucci's face.
I used to think about my looks a lot until i actually went out talked to new people, made new friends, and it's CRAZY how much looks dont matter.
Of course first impressions are a thing, but charisma and humor goes a long way.
That's all fine until you get start looking for relationships, in which it will be the primary factor. It does matter a lot. For Making friends maybe it doesn't matter that much but it certainly matters significantly for building attraction, which is what this video is about
There is truth to this. Unless you're hideous or just off-putting (like a guy with a scary face) your looks doesn't matter at all for everyday interactions.
For relationships, though, it's more of an issue. Generally, if you have regular interactions with someone and you are both the right sex for each other (eg opposite sex if you're both hetero), you have a good chance of hooking up if you're both single and looking. In these cases the main difficulty is that _someone else_ from the same social circle might snatch them up before you.
It gets much more difficult when you try to get with someone you don't interact with a lot, so you cannot slowly work them. For example, on dating apps, in parties, randomly approaching girls on the street, etc. looks suddenly become incredibly important (because that's all you have, since you don't have time to show your personality).
@@xijinping3331 I'm also talking about how much role charisma plays in getting into relationships with people u know (in that regard dating apps suck). like i was surprised how many of my conventionally "unattractive" friends managed to get guys interested in them.
@@someguycalledcerberus9805 true, i was referring to situations involving personality. Personally for me though, i would never date a guy who only likes me for my appearance (not that that would happen LOL). My point is people should really stop caring about their looks unless they want to attract superficial people. I know this video is meant to be all facts and science, but its just sad how it makes viewers feel :( we're humans not robots
@@k.d9499
Men are less picky, when it comes to sex at least
The thing is, nowadays with social media (it all really started with Hollywood) we are more exposed to people above avarage and more attractive than the normal popullation so I think our perception may have changed and may be changing drastically and faster. Due to that disruption body and facial dysmorphia is on the rise. Now we may have higher standards for beauty and attractiveness but that doesn't exactly meet with reality. It would be something interesting to analyse in the study of the estimation of attractiveness.
I've had a number of guy friends ask me to make them more attractive. They usually panic because they've never considered: how clothes, glasses and hair/beard fit them, that they can fill in their eyebrows, up their skincare etc. It literally feels like talking to an alien as most women and attractive men know this.
Yeah making an effort to style and all + and taking care of yourself does a lot to the "attractiveness rating". Like I know im easily a 3 (for me 5 is average as i go off with percentiles and not school grades) on most days but if i make an effort i can double up to maybe a 6.
"Fill in their eyebrows.. "
Yeah I keep telling my friend Dave to stop dressing like a dweebazoid cause he could be a hottie lol 😂 🤷♀️
I've always saw myself as a 3 or 4 so if I'm overestimating lord help me.
Wow I have never in my life ever ignored a bad thing someone's said about me, in fact I internalize it and let it eat me alive.
Can you make a video about how body dysmorphia works? I’ve always been unhealthily obsessed with looks, always comparing myself to others... and i’m not gonna lie I’ve been told I’m pretty a lot of times and many times even behind my back, but whenever I see a picture of myself I feel horrible, I know I might sound dramatic but I really can’t even stand to see my face in photos... I don’t know is it because my standards are too high and I compare myself to ppl that are are extremely attractive or do I get told I’m pretty just bcz ppl know I’m insecure.... my friend suggested I might have body dysmorphie but I’m not sure how that works.. (ps - the picture in my profile is one of the very very rare times where I’m actually okay with how i look and honestly I think my cat is responsible for that lol)
I'm starting to think I have the same problem. It's so crazy. Idk what to do. When u realize u had this problem?
English is not mi first language btw
@@givemeurmoney_1 I’ve felt this way ever since I was a child, I wouldn’t take pictures even if you paid me for it!! And with social media it got worse... In the mirror I look fine as long as I don’t stare too much but in photos I always look horrible with distorted face, I also I carry A mirror with me at all times to make sure I don’t look too bad or whenever I got to a cafe or something I would always go to the bathroom first to check how i look (pathetic I know) I really feel for you if you have the same problem, bcz this has a negative impact on alot of parts of my life.. 😭😭
@@givemeurmoney_1 also I’ve taken a body dysmorphia test on the internet and I scored pretty high lol I can give you the link if you want
@@anon56725 oh my lord yess. The same things happen to me. No matter how much people told u that ur are pretty, u don't believe it. Sometimes I wish everyone were blind (me included) so then appearance didn't matter. I think u can't send a link in yt. I read it in some comments idk. U can try. If not, I'm gonna goggle it.
This would be so helpful! I relate to everything you have said on body dysmorphia.
I think I’ve had it from a young age too. For example when I was 6, I had a tree planting school excursion and we had to wear one worst clothes so we could get dirty. I pleaded with my mum to wear something else but she sent me to school and as soon as I was there I made a b-line to hide behind toys. Everyone left and I sat frozen the whole day in the same spot until it was time to run into my mums car for pickup. This shows up in similar ways in my life to this day. I can’t be seen in bright harsh lighting after I take my makeup off for the day and I wear one outfit every single day because I feel so malformed in everything else.
When I was overweight and very unattractive I saw myself as a 7. I deep down new I wasn’t good looking but as a way to protect myself I started to imagine myself in a way that I wasn’t to avoid reality. After dropping 60 pounds, learning to dress myself, do my makeup and finally letting my hair grow I can look at myself more realistically because I know that I’m not a 3 anymore. I can look at photos of myself and accurately tell myself that I’m pretty average actually and I’m ok with that.
I have extra weight but it's distributed well and my face is nice. I'd rate myself a 5. If I lost the weight it would most likely be higher.
style matters... I'm considered attractive now when I found my style. So if you're unattractive now, you can still work on your body by working out AND work on your appearance by finding a fitting style according to your personality
Only 2-3 girls had a crush on me back in high school (we wore uniforms, so i couldn't really express myself freely)
fast forward to 3rd yr in college, and im doing pretty well and get lots of compliments and dates regularly... i personally think it's cus I became more CONFIDENT when I found my fashion style
Rating people's attractiveness on a numeric scale is honestly poor taste and a disgusting practice. It takes away from any uniqueness or cultural influence. It also causes self esteem issues and body dismorphia. If I like one of my features but society considers it undesirable, it will be hard to keep liking it. Also if I don't like a feature but everyone envies me for it it can be invalidating. The sad truth is society works by the laws of attraction. These studies are trying to vilify unattractive people by stating that they are saying they are more beautiful than they are and are giving a free pass to attractive people by painting them to be modest. I'm kinda dissapointed with this topic and studies, although the video seem well researched as usual. Also keep in mind: when you are stating that someone is ugly or unattractive you are basically transmitting to that person the same words as "you are not desired or accepted or wanted".
@Charles Bronson pure bullshit. Read up on what was considered attractive in history and you'd be really f surprised. Diana is right, rating people is bullshit and this channel is trying to sell you cosmetic surgery lul.
finally, where I live is considered super rude to do the scale shit
@@steezy2591 true, it’s a very subconscious thing
I always thought that rating people like that is weird AF and not to mention rude. Attractiveness IMO has so many layers that are not necessarily connected to physical appearance.
There might be some objective truth to what is considered "good looking" but I think attractiveness has so many other things to take into consideration than mere physical appearance. I might find someone good looking but may not be attracted to them at all. Likewise, I sometimes find myself attracted to less than average looking person.
But I agree with you that telling someone they're ugly will make them feel undesired and unwanted. Nobody wants to feel that way. And honestly it's disappointing that we all have tendency to judge people based on physical appearance.
Being unattractive isn't a wall, it's just a speed bump, just means you gotta work harder to level up your fitness and personality to compete...
No when you are really ugly it is a wall.
1) Not every attractive person studies facial aesthetics & underrate themselves . some realise are genetically blessed they become arrogant like cmon how come others cant understand this
2) even genetically blessed people like me need a normal level confidence or skills to be able to date or get praised about their looks
all these models & celebs are pretty confident & when I do become that confident I really dont feel I look worse than them so that means i
am attractive ig
😄👍
If you don't have people actively flirting with you every week you're NOT attractive. That should clear things up... Sry. It's a stupid game and there are no winners...in the long run. You are not your body.
I think beauty is subjective, what some people find beautiful others may find ugly.
yeah, I love these videos but keep my idea that many non convencionally attractive people can or may be perceived as beautiful too
Beauty is more likely Objective.
i don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing for someone to think of themselves as more attractive than they are “objectively”. i also believe that truly everyone is beautiful in their own way, maybe someone is ugly to you but they may be the prettiest person for someone else.
i agree!! life's too short to stress about these things, it also feels good to be your own hypeman.
@@tinydreamerrr agreed!!
It's better to accept facts though. You're living a deluded life if you don't recognize reality. Also, your last thought sounds like "one man's trash is another man's treasure" lmao
@@ultimateloser3411 how is being confident in yourself and not intentionally making yourself depressed over looks is living a deluded life?
The problem with objectiveness here is that people in real life don't care where someone falls statistically, but whether someone is attractive for them. And as attractiveness has been an important trait in evolution, an average person is quite attractive when they take care of themselves. Nowadays even more so, because so many are obese.
Well, I know that being well groomed, well dressed and with a good haircut, I’m still a solid 4
Idk.... it's not like the "3's" think they're "8's"....they don't think they're really hot. It seems that everyone thinks they're average which is kinda cool to me
Also soo true! Being unattractive helps for professionals. People are less distracted by looks and don’t wonder if a professional made it because they are handsome and charming.
Super cool video overall. 😊😊
I have a peculiar problem ...not a single person who sees me in my school uniform and hairstyle thinks I'm attractive, they call me utterly ugly...while not a single person who sees me in my normal clothes and hairstyle has forgotten to compliment me on my beauty
Dear QUOVES, plz explain this
This is hilarious to me because, growing up all of the boys were mean to me, one would tell me I was ugly everyday and I was never asked to be any one's valentine/date/GF etc. However, I had high confidence and would rate myself a 10/10 always and thought everyone else was just stupid.
Fast forward to 10 years later (and after puberty)and somehow i've gotten significantly more attractive. The same boys who were calling me ugly are in my DM's, I get hit on in public often and even got away with a misdemeanor because of it. Yet for some reason my confidence is lower than ever and I'd honestly rate myself a 6 or a 7 tops. I secretly feel like they're all lying to me or something. Like how boys used to dare each other to ask out the ugly girl as a joke.
Dude what felony did you commit lol
@@nostalgicbliss5547 actually it was more of a misdemeanor lmao. You a cop? 🤣
@@famousshortz Nah just curious
Well im not saying you are not unattractive as i dont know you however what you say about compliments does not necessarily reflect your looks . Men dont have much standards nowadays as most of us cant afford to. I have my own dating life to back it up but i will skip it for now. I have alot of good looking male friends and most of them are either dating or hooking up with women that are are atleast 2 points lower than them for a /10 rating.
Honestly if you are a woman it does not even matter that much if you are good looking or not. You as the women population have unlimited dating options compared to us men. I have a 4/10 female work friend that can pull a 6+/10 men from tinder any time of the day. You might think i am delusional but its the truth.
@@MTNtf2("Getting hit on" wasn't exclusive to just men btw) it's true that women have more options than men. This may be because of men's "low standards" but, male attention is only one piece of the 'am I hot' puzzle.More examples of discovering this include: Woman complimenting you and asking for beauty tips, kids thinking you're a princess and complimenting you, winning beauty pageants or contests (especially if the other contestants we're more talented but not as attractive), constantly getting free shit, having co-workers do your job for you, having a career in beauty, etc etc there are a lot of signs. I also don't think men are as desperate as you think as they tend to be mean to the 'ugly girls', accept or settle for average girls and fawn endlessly over the hot ones.
I always thought that a huge part of the reason we rate ourselves as more attractive than we really are is because we are very familiar to ourselves. If there is something you look at every day, you’re going to be so used to it that what you see will be so normal to you. Faces that are average are among the most beautiful. Average being in the sense that they have basic features, nothing unusual- nothing too big, far apart, close together. This is why, since we are so used to our faces that they’re the norm to us and nothing about them will be as unusual to us, we will see ourselves as more beautiful.
This is like how I viewed my best friend for years. I thought she was so beautiful because I was used to her and I only really payed attention to her key beautiful features, but then once I analyzed her appearance more thoroughly and through the lense of seeing her for the first time, I realized she is still beautiful, but definitely less attractive than I thought.
But yeah, attractive people definitely can much more easily emotionally afford to be more objective and analytical with rating their own appearances.
I took a video of myself and I look very pretty when I'm being myself but when I'm disgusted to show a feature to the camera, i don't see the flaw as badly as I felt in the moment but made my face less pretty by putting on the misery "I probably look ugly" face idk
That's why we observe to what the opposite sex is doing than saying especially women
The part at the end about less attractive people earning more and being taken more seriously/more likely to be married is interesting and makes sense as there has always been the divide of opinion that sets up beauty vs brains, with the saying that to find both is a rarity.
My theory here is that, if one is not blessed with high levels of physical attraction, they either eschew the mental and emotional time sink of caring about the effort to enhance and avoid beauty in life (assuming they are accepting and at peace with their lot or they have an active disgust of beauty being seen as important and don't hold it to their own values in their lives) which frees up their time/energy into being directed into other pursuits in their lives. The fact of the matter is that some of the greatest minds are truly found in the least attractive of people, so this is why you unattractive scientists are taken more seriously; as people apply what they already have known and experienced and so continue to make the same bias of assumptions there.
The marriage thing is interesting though and I would like to know if it works both ways that the most unattractive men are more likely to be married too. Is it that the least attractive men and women marry one another? I wonder if this is to do with people making more effort in a relationhip, developing more of a personality and things to bring into a relationship, if they are not attractive, as they cannot rely on beauty so much and so don't see it as something to secure them a relationship.
I have always had a low self-esteem and didn't feel attractive due to past mental illnesses, bullying, diffulties socialising and not fitting into the west European beauty standard/little to no representation of people that look like me.
When I mentioned this to people they were very surprised and told me I was the opposite of how I perceived myself.
As I had beaten my mental illness and started to regain my confidence, which also changed my way of presenting myself and getting/currently working on getting back in track with self-care, I noticed a dramatic shift in how strangers and people of my age group would treat me.
For example certain people staring a lot or being treated extra nice/given free food on the house.
This has gotten a bit out of hand since I recently was recorded by a creepy and older man on the train.
Attractive or not, the key mostly is self-care and confidence. Making the best out what you have.
just be confident
@@jashannnnnnnn exactly and if you're not, pretend you are. It does wonders 💯
@@Marwa.G.S. what did you do to change/ self-care? Need tips
Yeah, but if you live in a country where the majority of population doesnt look like you, why you expect to see people like you in the media? Im not asian, and when I watch korean/japaneese, chinese movies and tv shows I dont expect to see someone who looks like me. If you wated representation, why not just watch media that is made in a country where people look like you?
@@alexforce9 because its not that easy, especially when you're very young and don't understand the language well and most of the available tv shows aren't for children or are very mature/boring. Not to mention that there was no "central asian" barbie or fairy or whatever kind of glamorous or popular TV show that would make me feel special as a small child. Representation isn't only about what you can see in the media. I grew up in a dominantly white neighbourhood FORTUNATELY (no cultural pressures or drama, being able to develop freely), but some cons of them were that I had developed an identity crises and became too western for some and had to be too conservative (house rules) for Europeans. There were no people at all like me or that understood my struggles or to share some cultural experiences with, to talk to in the same language and be friends with. Especially when having a higher education, "foreigners" are lesser. Many Turkish or Moroccan girls weren't the only one in class and still aren't the only ones in university.
In short: representation is not only media representation. That affected me the least and later on in life. No the irl lack of representation mixed with bullying and other shit, really messed me up mentally.
The thing w people who looked attractive during high school got alot of attention and hence didn't develop personality and it's vice versa with "Ugly" / Average people.
So once someone is 20+ the real Personality and with Grooming the face looks better.
Not always the case
Attractive people in high school were confident and outgoing and probably developed really good social skills whereas if you were insecure or introverted (you might be funny) but were probably lacking in personality development
What you’re saying might be true in some cases but dumb and boring people come in all kinds of packages
@@Samthingswrong in ny highschool they became loosers haha
I recently had someone tell me that I was “blissfully unaware of how attractive I was” but I’m a person who receives mixed ratings from all people. I’ve had people reject me immediately to having partners spontaneously ejaculate just from kissing me. This channel means well, but I truly think if you’re watching these videos, you are trying to fix something that has nothing to do with the way you look. It’s trying to label a “threat” to your well being which is the disgust and rejection of others. The truth is no matter how you look or who you are, rejection, ostracism and abandonment are possible. Being “average” or simply having pleasant features probably also means you have good bone structure for breathing and eating, as well as generally without defects or disease. I understand the frustration but pleasure and community are not impossible for you, just because you are not a visual “Freudian bomb”. But that’s not an excuse for you to be a wet blanket. You will fall in love. Fuck Qooves studio, and this disguised attempt to really just do what most people like to do, tear others down. You’re probably not beautiful but you’re alive, loveable, and capable of most things. Go forth.
That's an interesting point, even in research individual ratings can differ greatly. There was a research about dating profiles, people who got an average rating of 4/5, were falling in 2 groups, either they got very hgh and low ratings or they got around "4" from everyone. Those who got low and high ratings, were a lot more messaged to because they were "5s" for some people. And this is what matters, that you have a group whose type you are, not what the average is.
@@analogueapples literally your point is just advocating that I’m just “average” anyway. The narrative of reducing people to looks comes from the fact we don’t use our bodies. We’re strong, highly intelligent, capable of emotions of intense beauty and awe. There is so much more to the human than a nose bridge with symmetry. And this pseudo scientific rhetoric about people’s worth, based off of beauty, is damaging. Promotes beauty over health, smoldering eyes over intellectual prowess. We can’t just go with out monkey cues every time and expect to have fruitful relationships with others…
Honestly I see your point
Well, yes, most people CAN be 7/10. They might be in the 50% percentile in terms of attractiveness, but it doesn't mean they wouldn't still qualify as 7/10. They would be 7/10, even though they are only in the top 50%. If you want a proof, just come visit my motherland, Russia.
This is because when people talk about 7/10 or 5/10, they don't mean "He's in the top 70%" or "He's in the top 50%". They mean "He's at 70% when compared to an ideal, 100% human" or "He's at 50% when compared to an ideal, 100% human".
So yes, you can easily be 7/10 even though you're just average.
Are you trying to say 7/10 is average?
So fascinating, I love learning about the science behind attractiveness! Definitely bumping myself down from a 7-8 to a 6. Now to find enough money to pay for cheekbone implants and a Qoves facial assessment lol
Edit: Yoinks, I was joking about the cheekbone implants 😳 Please take some deep breaths, you are valid and I hope your day is going well!
You realize it's a giant ad with some scientific part, but part opinion and bias, which even the studies are not free from? And the logical goal of the ad is to convince people to buy their facial assessment and give an incentive to get plastic surgery?
@@Nina-cd6uw I am so sorry to hear from you soon tho it is a lot of 3
Whats the alternative Pauline for people who want to look better? Pay for a witch doctor and listen to subliminals to change their jawline?
Please don’t cheek implants are the worse, do not age well, bulge out of the face. 😭
@@QOVESStudio if you start mewing now you can change your face shape. Side effects include opening your third eye and growing wings.
I think social media has done something even more insidious to me. I don't have low self-esteem, because many people throughout my life have told me I should be a model, but I can see the features in my face that would make that impossible. Still, I don't think I'm unattractive. The issue for me is that after years of exposure to the hottest of the hot on instagram, everyone else looks banal in comparison. I find myself swiping left on just about everyone now. I accidentally set a new standard in my brain that I can't seem to un-do.
A+ for self awareness kiddo
The truth and honesty is what matters most in life, so regardless of whether you're attractive or not, someday we're all going to get old and die regardless. Everything in the world is temporal.
Although there are some similarities in preferences in the greater scheme, there’s a lot more factors that play a role in attraction. People have different preferences in looks and personality. Also, another comment here got my attention-it is questioning the reasons behind these videos and whether there are staff working with it who are PS surgeons…ok so I looked into it and this is what I found: “QOVES Studio was established to clarify how people view surgery as a more positive tool of social mobility because appearance influences how someone is treated, how much money the person goes on to earn, and how the socioeconomic status can be manipulated.”
I’d love to see the list of criteria that “objectively” categorises people as unattractive, below average, above average and attractive.
I think objective attractiveness is too heavy skewed by normative context. As someone that is short, Asian, a man, queer, and has a juvenile face, I realized that I have a more positive response to my appearance when interacting with men than women. I’ve been bullied by girls/ women since I was in middle school to this day, except now it’s more passive aggressive. Normative ideas of feminity and attractiveness makes men see me as someone worth a double gaze, but women (especially normative masculine, straight women) feel the need to question my gender.
You have more positive response from men because of your feminine appearance. And most hetero women are not attracted(sexually) to feminine men. Nothing wrong with that. And because you are an exception and not the rule, you are going to be judged by the "normal" standards.
@@canesugar911 actually many straight women like the "feminine" men... Maybe in his case it's not the body but how he is acting/walking/saying things ect.
Who knows maybe it is his body but I just can't let you say this in general while the female gaze is focused on soft/feminine men
Or they truly feel threatened by him..
I grew up in one place but drove a lot for vacation to the home-country of my parents... And I also noticed that some women got really angry at them especially when they also had typically feminine attributes in character and not just body
Bc men were still men and in the home country of my parents - many villages are not that progressed(but also not - not progressed at all) .. So many women still have to do their housework and clean and go outside and do stuff on the field
TO GET TO MY POINT LOL:
I noticed women were harsh on more "feminine" men bc they reflected what they could have had..
Bc the men in the village could just sit down, were served, could paint things and get compliments, dress well
men were also praised for working in the office, studying - - - "how hard it must be"
While the women of the village did the same but first had to pay the price (so first they had to get up earlier to do the housework before leaving... Before studying again doing the housework or washing the oldest person in the house or neighborhood) if they sat down to "chill and have a talk" they had to hide in a room to do so bc "she doesn't has to show off her lazyness"
Long story short.. Sometimes it's truly jealousy .. Like :" how can someone be feminine but not pay the price for it - like I have to"
But it's really not all women in the village and not that much.. Bc most of them have different visions for the future and those are actually also the ones who appreciate more feminine men 🌸🌸
But maybe if he lives in a similar place where it's the transition point from totally unprogressed to progressed - this might occur (and in my opinion it's understandable (not fair but understandable) if you have to study/work ect but still have to work in the house and on the fields as if you are all day at home.. It's simply understandable to be frustrated
@@lolalina_ Thats not true. Female gaze being focused on more soft feminine men is only true when its from a young/teen girls. The moe mature a women become, the more she likes more masculine features. And even when girls like more girly looking dude, they still preffer if he remins masculine in some key areas - like being tall and with high social status (k-pop idols comes in mind).
Women will either baby you (brutally) or mock you / totally ignore you if they think you aren’t men enough. Even the ugly ones is amazing
People become more attractive if their behavior is good towards you.
The best situation is to be more objectively attractive than you perceive yourself to be. Because you'll always be pleasantly surprised, and you will not expect thing because of your looks so you'll work harder at developing hobbies, skills, and a personality.
I rate myself 7, people say I’m 9, then I feel they’re being sarcastic and making fun of me. After that I feel like I wanna leave that place. Even though they’re serious, even though girls, when I go out on dates, say you’re probably dating everyone, every girl gonna die for you, you can’t be single, I still never get my mind to believe I’m NOT 7. Please tell me what to do, seriously
Look at mirror? or go to different city and look at people, it helps. but idk if you can do that in Europe or America, they say it's very rude at there. Booring.
That's why I always say people that think personality is all the matters are talking bullshit because, 9/10 times people would pick the more attractive person
I myself say that to me then I fall for emo boy then I cry
Why I am pathetic
Personality don't mean shit
@@tt8250 nah it matters a lot. its obv not more important than looks in the short term but in the long run it is.
I actually think most people would pick personality so long as the person isn't terribly unattractive. Looks will capture someone's attention but looks alone do not sustain attraction. I would rather be with a 4 or 5 who can make me laugh than a 8 or 9 with a bland personality.
Nope. I'm above average in looks but people are either too intimidated to talk to me or assume I'm taken. My personality has been called not so great in the past (I see their point and I'm working on it okay). Meanwhile people who are less conventionally attractive but have friendlier/ authentic personalities maintain better, lasting relationships. Your look is just the cover, doesn't matter how pretty you are if your personality is mediocre or displeasing
Honestly whenever girls have shown interest in me I have always dismissed or felt confused basically wondering "Why on earth would she like me of all people". This is due to being basically treated as sub-human due to my looks(I was obese) by most girls my age between grade 3-7, so in my final year of highschool when working out for 4 years and wearing clothes that actually fit paid it was baffling.
So anyone who is struggling with looks and their self-image working out, losing weight, gaining muscle and wearing clothes that fit won't fix all your problems but it will sure help and to put more emphasis on the exercise part is that it doesn't happen overnight heck not even a few months but maybe after like 8 month or a year+ suddenly your physique will feel like it drastically changed overnight cause you never really notice the change in time.
@@riorio745 I'll check him out and ye it can take awhile to realise that you aren't same anymore, that shit sticks fr
@@riorio745 yes he is very gorgeous and he always talks shit about his nose like WHO CARES YOUR WHOLE FACE IS ABOVE AVERAGE