Hi Abbey! I was you at 30! I bought my own house and had been watching all of my friends get married and start families. I went through times of giving up and being depressed and super anxious. I met my husband at 35, got married at 37 and had my miracle baby at 40! I am 54 now and I want you to know that you are on the right path and you should be super proud of yourself and your accomplishments!!❤
Omg I’m 37 and scared time is ticking away to have children! People scare me about having children by 40 and tell me it’s a higher risk. Did you have any complications ? Or is it really just a myth about having kids at 40.
@AshleyTibias I had my 1st at 36 & my 2nd at 40. Your OB's will be more watchful of course, as there are higher risks for both mom & baby. I had no issues (outside the normal stuff) with either pregnancy, labor, or delivery.
What’s crazy is I literally sobbed on the phone to my cousin tonight saying verbatim how hard it is for me to go to family events to see all my younger cousins with homes, husbands & working on their 2nd & 3rd babies. I wish so badly that I could be doing that with them & raising our families together. I so badly want a family but at 38 I feel the clock ticking away & worried my time may have passed me by. It’s heart wrenching. I also cry to sleep out of love for my fur baby. I’ve had her for 14 years & she’s gotten me through the most difficult times in my life. I honestly don’t know what I will do without her because I’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as I love her. Not sure if you will read this Abby but my best advice to you is to not stay in a relationship any minute longer then when you get that ick or start questioning if they are right for you. I made the mistake of wasting my 30’s in long term relationships with men I knew after a year were likely not going to end in marriage (or a happy one) but I loved them and wanted it to work out because I wanted a family so badly. I can’t get that time back, learn from my mistakes! Wishing you well & absolutely love your content & congrats on the house! You’re amazing and you will find your prince!❤
I felt just like you did, didn't meet my husband & start my family until almost 40. It's never too late, & remember, there are all kinds of families. Stay true to yourself & what's right for YOUR journey. Good things will come! Sending you all positivity.
I also did not get married until 41 and had my son at 42! One month after married I got pregnant. It is never too late and he is the most beautiful thing in our life! He is 21 now. It is never too late!
Congratulations on the house! Good job and be proud that you did it all on your own! Nothing can stop you to rent it later on when you find your person and want something else for a family setting. A girl has to have her own safe haven no matter who comes into her life!
This comment section was such a relief and so comforting. I’ve been so worried, feeling like I’m “behind” in life, but I’m right where I need to be. Thank you everyone and thank you Abbey for sharing with us. Congrats on your house 🫶🏻
I bought my first home alone at 27! And immediately got 2 dogs 😊 wishing you all the best! It's scary sometimes to have to handle everything on your own, but you will figure it out!
I’ve been married 33 years. I’d definitely ask about their family life and relationships with their family, I’d ask how they grew up, I’d learn their core values, I’d learn their communication style, and I’d need to know they can resolve conflict in a healthy way. You will learn so much about a person with these questions, and learning them will give you such a good idea of what kind of partner they would be.
Good job Abbey! You're gonna be set for everything great that happens in your 30s 🙌 you're about to get your super powers...life is just about to begin!
Abbey, you are making smart, sound decisions regarding school, home ownership and dating. It makes sense to put a pause on dating as you get settled in your house, getting through the holidays and completing your exam. Congratulations!!!
My husband is the first person who didn’t give me the “ick” when I first dated him. Absolutely attracted to him and we fit together. Both of us have made each other better people and our personalities are different but very complimentary. 11 years later, we have a 7 and 1 year old. I am almost 37 now and having my second child in my mid 30s has been way easier than my first. My point is… don’t second guess yourself. Don’t force yourself to try multiple dates with someone who gives you “the ick” ❤
How nice to read your comment!! There is something that always gives me the “ick” after a while!! I thought it was a me problem 😂 thank you for sharing your story! Have a nice week! 🤗
It takes 7 - 11+ years to become a fully independent physician in the US (not including university). Most derms to medical school (4 years), residency (3 years) and often fellowship (1+ years). My husband has 6 more to go after medical school!
Congrats!! Also, you’re almost at half a million - how exciting!! I’ve been with you since 10k!! Can you do a video on your perfumes and favorite scents please and thank you ;)
I did send this to a friend (hopefully she watches). She is going through some similar life events. Like you said, you do not want anyone going through hard times, but sometimes it is comforting to know you're not the only one.
In my experience when you aren’t looking; it tends to happen (dating wise) naturally, secondly meeting through mutual friends is always a plus, not the biggest fan of dating apps and or getting involved with your community. Gym, or hobbies etc.
I'm so happy for you! your dating life update made me feel a better about myself haha I'm 26, finishing my masters degree, never had a serious relationship even tho I was trying with some great guys. The fact that I am not alone makes me feel less sad. I've been at uni since high school, and could never work full time and as I'm working part-time I'm spending all that money for education fee and my dorm & groceris, I dont really have any savings and I just want to be done with uni, (bc I feel so tired doing school stuff for hours every day and not gettnig paid for it). I just feel so left behind in life. But the fact that you bought a house at ~30 (and not at 21 haha) makes me feel a bit better again. Nonetheless my own suffering I'm just happy for you even tho we dont know eachother
I'm in the same place as you, 26, doing my last year of master's, never been in a serious relationship. While I don't feel the need to be in a relationship for myself, I feel like there is pressure from society and biology to start thinking about having a family even though no one is even hinting at such a thing. I'm just focused on getting myself better and figuring out my future, maybe I'll go on some dates in the spring semester, who knows.
ugh! So relatable! I’m 26, and recently moved back in with my mom. 7 year relationship down the drain (no real loss there but wasted time…) no luck with dates, and no cheap living…i make nearly 20/hr and can’t afford anything
Congrats Abbie! It moved me to realize for how many years I have been watching your videos, and that life is changing for you as well. I too was expecting to be married with children at 25, and now I am 29 pursuing a degree, proud mom of two cats and a pup. There is nothing more empowering than a person who accepts who they become as they grow, and make their dreams come true!
Just want to say thank you for all the great hair advice. I’m 44 and decided to grow out my hair 2 years ago and found your videos. My stylist barely needs to trim it because she says it’s healthy! I’m so grateful for less frequent trips to the salon…and I’m finally enjoying longer hair. My hair has grown about 12 inches in that time, and l can’t wait to add a few more. Bless you!
Congratulations on purchasing your new home. I bought my first house at 26 and did not get married until 32. I felt like I was so behind all my friends that were married and having babies. However, hang in there. I met my now husband in my small hometown in Louisiana and he was from Minnesota. Wishing you much success and I love your channel. I feel like I could be your big sister, so great job on your success from your YT big sis.
Congratulations on your house, my son is renting in nord east, and hopes to buy fairly soon as he just got a new job, yay! The market is crazy, but it is possible! Ty, for considering covering mental health issues as doing so helps destagmatize!❤ mental health is health, as it seems you discovered. Love and light Abbey.
Hi Abbey👋 I’m a new subscriber and want to say it’s really a joy watching your videos. You are so organized, informative and well spoken. It’s really a skill to remain relevant while speaking and all of your videos are consistent while also being personable without oversharing. Kudos to you! 👌🏻
I always say the relationship you want will come when you’re not looking for it. I met my husband in my independent woman phase lol I wasn’t looking for anything, then we hooked up which I was expecting a fling only and here we are almost 5 years later and he’s the absolute love of my life.
Ohhh my goodness SAME!! For the past year, I've given great guys an allotted 3 dates even when there's zero spark 😭 feels like such a waste of time, but I'm learning that time is more precious than "giving the benefit of the doubt". As for the ICK guys - I've enjoyed pointing out their behavior [respectfully] that bothers me & then having a conversation about it haha. At least we can both walk away having learned something!
@lesliemcculloch1590 they have been SO receptive !! I don't think they're expecting to have a controversial convo...that is based on compassion. Like straight up hey, this thing you're doing might be hurting you more than helping! Check yoself. I appreciate hearing their feedback too - I'm no saint.
Hey I’m a medical student, Medical school is 4 years and most residencies at a minimum are 3 years, some are longer depending on the specialty :) Definitely agree with your thought process! From your area of interest (gauging based on the content you create), it sounds like cosmetic chemistry and formulation is more what you’re interested in rather than dermatology. Dermatology is very much like you said, diagnosing and treating skin conditions, not really product formulation or understanding of ingredients
As someone who is also currently dating (and is also a therapist) I can relate! I get the “ick” often and what I have learned is we really need to learn how to regulate ourselves through them and reframe. I have also had the “point of no return” feelings and I know for me it’s because I let it build! Reframing “icks” as, “every person we meet is going to have flaws”, kicked me down off my “ew” pedestal real quick 😅 and I say this with ZERO judgement because, girl, I get it! If we let our “icks” run the show then we run the risk of never being satisfied with any potential person. My “icks” are WILD - as in, he said he can’t wait to see my smile again… 😑 What I started doing is being more curious and trying to pay more attention to what I don’t know about a person than what I do. For me, niceness and affection too soon gives me an ick, so I try to tell myself “isn’t it so nice that this person is looking forward to seeing me again?”. Anything to make it mean something different 😅 Sure, give up on people that you’re definitely not aligned with, but just try to stretch your edges a bit and give yourself a bit more time to find out more info. But also you know yourself best and where you’re at so go easy on yourself. Don’t force what is really not feeling good for you because dating should be about having good experiences ❤
I sat down with my Mom and prayed for my person, together with her…met my now husband three days later (at work of all places!). He’s everything I thought I wanted in a person and 1000% more, things I didn’t even know I needed in a partner, but totally did.
PS. At 36 I tried a matchmaker. I met a really wonderful, kind, sexy guy & things were going great. Then his ex wanted to try getting back together for the kids. Ugh!!! Then almost a year later I met my husband. Planning & timelines, don't always work out, but things happen when they are supposed to. Many blessings!!!💖💖💖
Bummed there won’t be any consultations but so excited for your new home! I bought a house on my own as a single woman and didn’t regret it for a second. Congrats!
Abbey, I’m in the exact same spot as you are, down to the age (30 in April) and all. My best friend just gave birth to her first recently and that was a huge hit from reality as in how much my life doesn’t align with the traditional expectations. And that’s totally fine. My biggest goal for the next year is to buy my first home and adopt a dog, and settle down into a stable job as I’m now a freelance consulting scientist travelling 7-8 months per year. What I’m trying to say is - you’re still so young and doing so well in life, I mean you managed to buy a home on your own, that’s huge! Everything else you’re dreaming of can come later in life, there’s no fixed timeline of when you need to do or achieve things. Just because it’s ‘non-traditional’ doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In fact, often it’s a lot more fun 😊 you do you boo x
Totally relate about trying and trying with guys that look great on paper but there just isn’t that connection. I found a guy great on paper AND with a real spark, and we’ve been married almost a year now and more in love than ever. I know the temptation to just force something is strong when you’re single and looking for love, but I really do think it’s worth it to wait for the right person!
Your new house sounds great. So glad you are happy and content. I bought my house when I was 34. Met my husband at 35 and married at 36. Didn’t expect it lol.
I had long healthy thick shiny hair then I got a bout of cv 19 really bad and was sick for almost 2 months and virtually all my hair fell out. Some people may be mistaking their hair care products for the after-effects of being ill. It took about 2 months after being sick for my hair to really start falling out in clumps, but the extra shedding started while I was sick.
I bought my first home by myself, my family questioned it. I just celebrated 10 years in my house, I met my now husband 9 years ago, got married a couple years later and we have two kids now. I love my house, I'm so glad I got it on my own and for now it's great for my family too.
Congrats on your new home!! Good to hear all of the good things coming your way, you work hard - you deserve it. I hear it all the time, when you stop looking for the love of your life, he'll find you!
It’s seven years minimum to become a doctor! And that’s not including undergrad premed requirements 😅. I’m in my last year of medical residency and I’m soooo tired haha. Loved this update, we’re the same age and I’m looking to buy a house on my own too ❤. Proud of you!
Congrats on the house Abbey, such an amazing accomplishment!!! And thank you for sharing your experience with dating/ hinge. I think 1- it’s validating to hear someone like you who is such a catch thinks hinge is kinda a flop right now (lol) 2- your mindset of finding the right person and prioritizing your time and energy and knowing what’s right for you is so healthy. I think it’s important to talk about the stress of trying to “keep up” with friends. You’re not alone with that. Enjoy this exciting new chapter of life decorating your new home and becoming a certified trichologist (soon enough!)
Your dog is absolutely beautiful! I feel the same about my soulmate dog ;) When my water broke with my first kid and they told me this was actually happening NOW, i cried for at least 15 minutes because I didn't say goodbye to Herbert (my soulmate dog) and I had planned to snuggle with him that day. The nurse did NOT understand and probably thought I should be monitored for several things based on my extreme reaction to being separated from "just a dog". I'm sorry that she isn't experiencing that love in her life to understand what I was going through.
My previous hair stylist became a trichologist. She did extensive education in a program over in Europe. She did explain that there are scam trichology programs, etc. She has such a vast knowledge and can diagnose issues that even dermatologists have not been able to find. She also help cancer patients and those in remission with the hair/scalp issues that they may experience. So yes, there’s scam “trichologists” and even scam programs.
Abbey, you are such a beautiful soul full of light and goodness. I ran into your videos a few weeks ago and working my way back. You make me giggle, bring a smile to my face and just brighten my day. Love your story about tears as you hug your fur baby. The love between a human and animal is one of the most beautiful ones. Please don’t give up on finding love. My mother always told me it will happen when you least expect it and it did for me 28 years ago. I wish the same for you. Sending you lots of blessings.
The right guy & family will happen for you girl. I was in the exact same boat in December 2021 - very content with myself and life but wanting a husband and family. By August of 2022 I was engaged. Leave space for the right guy and continue to do what you’re doing. Dating apps aren’t for everyone.
Yessssss girl yesssss. I am so appreciative that you are looking out for your safety first! I'm now a single mom and let me tell ya...those thoughts are REAL. I bought a house myself and felt the same fears. Some additional security features on my doors haveade me feel a tad better. ❤
Ugh Moving!!!📦 I'm still surrounded by boxes & seem to knock into something daily, its going on month two...Woah! Lumify just made your already pretty eyes, glitter!!! ✨️
I have two fur babies myself. My husband and I can’t have children, so Denali and Phoenix are my everything. Ready for the Minnesota winter? I live in Wisconsin so I feel the pain of Winter. Can you do a dedicated video on the best Fragrance free products (skin care, hair care, makeup)?
CONGRATS on the new place! So excited for you! Love watching these life updates- I currently live in Minnesota but moving to Chicago for Anesthesia school so I can relate a lot to you- I just turned 30! Sending so much love to you and hope your staying warm!!!
Idk if you know this Abbey but Sam Ellis is a cosmetic dermatologist. She's the founder of the brand Prequel. I know you don't want to be a dermatologist but I guess it's just a cool fact to know. Cosmetic dermatology is a subspecialty within dermatology that helps patients improve their skin, hair, and nails for cosmetic purposes, rather than for health reasons.
I went through a period of moving constantly for several years too. On the bright side, I learned how to be really good at packing and organizing a move by the end.
Your thought process of feeling safer in an apt vs a house is 1,000% how I think too about that lol. And I would also love to learn how you dealt with health anxiety as I have that too. 🙏🙏🙏
Just clicked on on ur video. I'm 41 I know ur pain of moving! I lived in the same house my entire childhood, but once I got 18 I moved out, as of now I have moved over 20x's! On into the video, I encourage you to babysit for ur friends and really think about having children, don't get me wrong I love my children, but the destroyed my body and mental health.
Im 31, single, live alone and rent an apartment in a big urban city. I too thought that by this age I would be married and buying a house with a significant other, so much for that lol. Buying a house seems like such a difficult and overwhelming process, especially having to it all solo without anyone else helping. Becoming a dermatologist is really hard. I am a doctor but in general and family med, but to get to that point it was 6 years of uni, 2 years of intern and then 3 years of residency, so total of 11 years to complete specialisation. For derm, I suspect it would be longer
There are so many expectations about what someone HAS to accomplish by 30. But once you get to your bday you don't know where all that fuzz comes from (ok, you do know: people around you, social media, blah blah). But you are more aware that everyone goes on their own time. Abbey, please don't feel like you must do certain things just because you are a certain age. You are doing amazing right now: you helped so many people, and you have a great channel and a beautiful dog. (and a new house too!) 🥰
Health anxiety crew get in formation 😂 glad to hear you're doing well and you have such a great support system! I think it's so important to spend time with ourselves and being content before finding a partner. This part of your life is just preparing you for things you wouldn't dream of😁
Omg congrats on the house !! That's such an incredible accomplishment ♥︎ I feel you on feeling unsafe but maybe getting cameras and extra security might help!! Really looking forward to more hair videos after you complete your certification !! :)
i’m sorta in the opposite situation as you. i have a husband and 2 kids but we don’t have our own house yet and i want it sooooo bad. hopefully soon you’ll find a great match for you and i’ll get a house! 😅
I just went through a lot of similar life changes. Moved from Chicago back to my hometown in Wisco. Cherishing family time. Feeling “behind” my sister in terms of family, etc. So I feel you on that! Trying to remember that everything will come in it’s own due time but I’m a planner so I want everything NOW lol
Girrrrl where did you buy in Minneapolis? Homes are sooo expensive. I've been wanting to buy for so long but so many homes in Twin Cities metro are like 1-2 bedrooms, 1 bath built in the 40s and 400k+ 🙃
I recently found your channel through your hair oiling video and fell in love with your video style. So well researched and this was great to get to know you. Congrats on moving! Being with your family is so important. Can you please do a skin care video? Your skin is beautiful!
Congratulations 🎉❤ been watching your channel ever since the beginning and I’m glad you found a 🏡 to love and enjoy with your little girl 🐶 💕 Keep up with your amazing content! Xo
I took a long break from dating apps when I was feeling the way you are describing. After the break (which was so good for me) I ended up meeting my husband within a month. Enjoy your house and Elsie!
I also respect how you can recognize when you don’t feel a intimate connection. A lot of people get with other people because they love them as a friend and as a partner their relationship goes to hell & they don’t know why. (Not always, of course.)
Hi Abbey! My curiousity would be actually about how you're able to swing loans. It's surprising a lender would allow you to get a loan due to income being potentially inconsistent. I mean this as nothing rude, I promise. Its just solely based on how lenders like verifying employment and things like that if that makes sense. Like my friend just pulled a loan and they called her job asking for them to confirm employment for her loan. Just curious how that worked for you! And of course, congratulations! We all just want you to be happy in whatever path your life may take.
Abbey, I absolutely LOVE your content! regarding how long it takes to become a medical doctor - med school is typically 4 years (sometimes 5 if they take a research year or decide to pursue MD/MBA or MD/MPH path). then there is residency which is generally 3 to 5 years depending on the specialty. there may also be a fellowship after that takes 1-2 years. I'm not in medicine myself but my husband is in med school. Feels like it takes eternity to become a doctor
Never settle! You deserve fireworks and sparks💕When you stop looking they will find you…I’m a firm believer in that. I’m 29 and single and I’m okay being alone, because I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Murphy. He’s such a cuddle bug and I love him SO much! I totally understand what you mean pets are family
Congrats Abbey!!! I think it's amazing that you work for yourself and got your first home on your own. I hope you make lots of good memories there! Also, it might take a while to meet a partner who can match your energy because you have sooo much to offer, but when it happens you guys will definitely be a POWER couple!!!! xoxoxo happy holidays
Girllllll! Breathe. You are doing more then great! Trust me. Lota of your friends with the picture perfect family secretally would love to exchange lives with you for a bit. Anxiety is disease we just learn to live with it. We truly do.
Hi Abbey! I love your videos and life updates. They are so amazing! I also love watching you do your makeup. You make it look so effortless! 🤩🤩Do you think you could do a full tutorial? I need your secrets of getting mascara off your eyelids! Much love❤️
The great thing about a dog is in addition to being a wonderful companion, they are also not only an excellent early alarm system but also a fantastic deterent as no criminal wants a barking dog drawing attention to what they are doing. Elsie is absolutely adorable.
Lol I always imagined myself buying a home before meeting my SO but I’m doing it opposite. For anyone struggling to buy remember that a lot of people have family help (not a bad thing) and don’t talk about it. Thanks for reminding me life has its own order. Here is to hoping it is possible to buy in NY or LA some day. 😭😭😭
Congratulations Abbey ❤ You deserve the best. I’m so happy for you. You’ll find the right person when time comes. I got married very young and I’m raising four little ones at 30. I can’t believe it either but everyone’s journey is different. Wishing you the best.
Hi Abbey! I was you at 30! I bought my own house and had been watching all of my friends get married and start families. I went through times of giving up and being depressed and super anxious. I met my husband at 35, got married at 37 and had my miracle baby at 40!
I am 54 now and I want you to know that you are on the right path and you should be super proud of yourself and your accomplishments!!❤
Awww that’s so special thank you for sharing that 🥰
Ya the house ain’t it! Society is behind- There are no longer any shoulds, esp with inflation, that’s boomer stuff. We are all on our journey.
Omg I’m 37 and scared time is ticking away to have children! People scare me about having children by 40 and tell me it’s a higher risk. Did you have any complications ? Or is it really just a myth about having kids at 40.
@AshleyTibias I had my 1st at 36 & my 2nd at 40. Your OB's will be more watchful of course, as there are higher risks for both mom & baby. I had no issues (outside the normal stuff) with either pregnancy, labor, or delivery.
What’s crazy is I literally sobbed on the phone to my cousin tonight saying verbatim how hard it is for me to go to family events to see all my younger cousins with homes, husbands & working on their 2nd & 3rd babies. I wish so badly that I could be doing that with them & raising our families together. I so badly want a family but at 38 I feel the clock ticking away & worried my time may have passed me by. It’s heart wrenching. I also cry to sleep out of love for my fur baby. I’ve had her for 14 years & she’s gotten me through the most difficult times in my life. I honestly don’t know what I will do without her because I’ve never loved anyone or anything as much as I love her. Not sure if you will read this Abby but my best advice to you is to not stay in a relationship any minute longer then when you get that ick or start questioning if they are right for you. I made the mistake of wasting my 30’s in long term relationships with men I knew after a year were likely not going to end in marriage (or a happy one) but I loved them and wanted it to work out because I wanted a family so badly. I can’t get that time back, learn from my mistakes! Wishing you well & absolutely love your content & congrats on the house! You’re amazing and you will find your prince!❤
Ugh I'm so sorry- I can totally relate to those feelings. I've also wasted a lot of time on people I knew in my gut weren't right! Sending you love ❤
I felt just like you did, didn't meet my husband & start my family until almost 40. It's never too late, & remember, there are all kinds of families. Stay true to yourself & what's right for YOUR journey. Good things will come! Sending you all positivity.
I also did not get married until 41 and had my son at 42! One month after married I got pregnant. It is never too late and he is the most beautiful thing in our life! He is 21 now. It is never too late!
@@sherryhalliday2201 thanks for sharing! It’s nice to know not all hope is lost ❤️❤️
@@user-xv1kp6qf7h❤❤❤
Congratulations on the house! Good job and be proud that you did it all on your own! Nothing can stop you to rent it later on when you find your person and want something else for a family setting. A girl has to have her own safe haven no matter who comes into her life!
💯 agree
Thank you so much! ❤and yesss having a safe haven is everything
This comment section was such a relief and so comforting. I’ve been so worried, feeling like I’m “behind” in life, but I’m right where I need to be. Thank you everyone and thank you Abbey for sharing with us. Congrats on your house 🫶🏻
I bought my first home alone at 27! And immediately got 2 dogs 😊 wishing you all the best! It's scary sometimes to have to handle everything on your own, but you will figure it out!
Awww I love that! and I 100% started thinking about a second dog within 3 days of living here hahaha
Definitely rescue another dog. S/he will bring more love and life to your haven.
I’ve been married 33 years. I’d definitely ask about their family life and relationships with their family, I’d ask how they grew up, I’d learn their core values, I’d learn their communication style, and I’d need to know they can resolve conflict in a healthy way. You will learn so much about a person with these questions, and learning them will give you such a good idea of what kind of partner they would be.
This right here!! 🎯💯 So much bait-and-switch out there.
Good job Abbey! You're gonna be set for everything great that happens in your 30s 🙌 you're about to get your super powers...life is just about to begin!
omg I need to print this comment and hang it on my mirror lol ❤
@@AbbeyYung 😘 you got it Girl
Abbey, you are making smart, sound decisions regarding school, home ownership and dating. It makes sense to put a pause on dating as you get settled in your house, getting through the holidays and completing your exam. Congratulations!!!
My husband is the first person who didn’t give me the “ick” when I first dated him. Absolutely attracted to him and we fit together. Both of us have made each other better people and our personalities are different but very complimentary. 11 years later, we have a 7 and 1 year old. I am almost 37 now and having my second child in my mid 30s has been way easier than my first.
My point is… don’t second guess yourself. Don’t force yourself to try multiple dates with someone who gives you “the ick” ❤
How nice to read your comment!! There is something that always gives me the “ick” after a while!! I thought it was a me problem 😂 thank you for sharing your story! Have a nice week! 🤗
It takes 7 - 11+ years to become a fully independent physician in the US (not including university). Most derms to medical school (4 years), residency (3 years) and often fellowship (1+ years). My husband has 6 more to go after medical school!
Congrats!! Also, you’re almost at half a million - how exciting!! I’ve been with you since 10k!! Can you do a video on your perfumes and favorite scents please and thank you ;)
10k?! No wayyy. Thanks for sticking around for the ride ❤ and YES it's on my list!
Don’t rush girlie. You’re still so young. Although it may not feel that way. ❤️❤️❤️ let life flow.
I need to be better at reminding myself of that!!
Your excitement over this new stage is contagious. It makes me smile.
❤
I did send this to a friend (hopefully she watches). She is going through some similar life events. Like you said, you do not want anyone going through hard times, but sometimes it is comforting to know you're not the only one.
definitely. I hope it helps ❤
In my experience when you aren’t looking; it tends to happen (dating wise) naturally, secondly meeting through mutual friends is always a plus, not the biggest fan of dating apps and or getting involved with your community. Gym, or hobbies etc.
You have vision! I’m proud of your ability to juggle so much in your life. Go girl!
I'm so happy for you!
your dating life update made me feel a better about myself haha I'm 26, finishing my masters degree, never had a serious relationship even tho I was trying with some great guys. The fact that I am not alone makes me feel less sad.
I've been at uni since high school, and could never work full time and as I'm working part-time I'm spending all that money for education fee and my dorm & groceris, I dont really have any savings and I just want to be done with uni, (bc I feel so tired doing school stuff for hours every day and not gettnig paid for it). I just feel so left behind in life. But the fact that you bought a house at ~30 (and not at 21 haha) makes me feel a bit better again. Nonetheless my own suffering I'm just happy for you even tho we dont know eachother
Aww you're SO not alone ❤ and thank you so much xx
I'm in the same place as you, 26, doing my last year of master's, never been in a serious relationship. While I don't feel the need to be in a relationship for myself, I feel like there is pressure from society and biology to start thinking about having a family even though no one is even hinting at such a thing. I'm just focused on getting myself better and figuring out my future, maybe I'll go on some dates in the spring semester, who knows.
ugh! So relatable! I’m 26, and recently moved back in with my mom. 7 year relationship down the drain (no real loss there but wasted time…) no luck with dates, and no cheap living…i make nearly 20/hr and can’t afford anything
Congrats Abbie! It moved me to realize for how many years I have been watching your videos, and that life is changing for you as well. I too was expecting to be married with children at 25, and now I am 29 pursuing a degree, proud mom of two cats and a pup. There is nothing more empowering than a person who accepts who they become as they grow, and make their dreams come true!
lol pushing 40 in CA here and just got my first APARTMENT by myself. Love that 3K 1BR rent! You're WAY ahead of the curve. Congrats!
Truly enjoyed this video! So thankful you're in a good space mentally and physically! ❤️
That makes two of us!! ❤❤
Just want to say thank you for all the great hair advice. I’m 44 and decided to grow out my hair 2 years ago and found your videos. My stylist barely needs to trim it because she says it’s healthy! I’m so grateful for less frequent trips to the salon…and I’m finally enjoying longer hair. My hair has grown about 12 inches in that time, and l can’t wait to add a few more. Bless you!
Congratulations on purchasing your new home. I bought my first house at 26 and did not get married until 32. I felt like I was so behind all my friends that were married and having babies. However, hang in there. I met my now husband in my small hometown in Louisiana and he was from Minnesota. Wishing you much success and I love your channel. I feel like I could be your big sister, so great job on your success from your YT big sis.
Yes to the ‘no house tour’. I’ve always wondered why in the world people do that!
Congratulations on your house, my son is renting in nord east, and hopes to buy fairly soon as he just got a new job, yay! The market is crazy, but it is possible! Ty, for considering covering mental health issues as doing so helps destagmatize!❤ mental health is health, as it seems you discovered. Love and light Abbey.
Thank you so much xx
Hi Abbey👋 I’m a new subscriber and want to say it’s really a joy watching your videos. You are so organized, informative and well spoken. It’s really a skill to remain relevant while speaking and all of your videos are consistent while also being personable without oversharing. Kudos to you! 👌🏻
I always say the relationship you want will come when you’re not looking for it. I met my husband in my independent woman phase lol I wasn’t looking for anything, then we hooked up which I was expecting a fling only and here we are almost 5 years later and he’s the absolute love of my life.
Ohhh my goodness SAME!! For the past year, I've given great guys an allotted 3 dates even when there's zero spark 😭 feels like such a waste of time, but I'm learning that time is more precious than "giving the benefit of the doubt". As for the ICK guys - I've enjoyed pointing out their behavior [respectfully] that bothers me & then having a conversation about it haha. At least we can both walk away having learned something!
I agree... my time is everything!!
@emily - You have guts to do that! Hopefully they take your comments to heart 😊
@lesliemcculloch1590 they have been SO receptive !! I don't think they're expecting to have a controversial convo...that is based on compassion. Like straight up hey, this thing you're doing might be hurting you more than helping! Check yoself. I appreciate hearing their feedback too - I'm no saint.
@@EmilyZapotocny - I am impressed and amazed! You must be a good communicator and are able to deliver the message in a kind way 😊
Hey I’m a medical student,
Medical school is 4 years and most residencies at a minimum are 3 years, some are longer depending on the specialty :)
Definitely agree with your thought process! From your area of interest (gauging based on the content you create), it sounds like cosmetic chemistry and formulation is more what you’re interested in rather than dermatology. Dermatology is very much like you said, diagnosing and treating skin conditions, not really product formulation or understanding of ingredients
As someone who is also currently dating (and is also a therapist) I can relate! I get the “ick” often and what I have learned is we really need to learn how to regulate ourselves through them and reframe. I have also had the “point of no return” feelings and I know for me it’s because I let it build!
Reframing “icks” as, “every person we meet is going to have flaws”, kicked me down off my “ew” pedestal real quick 😅 and I say this with ZERO judgement because, girl, I get it! If we let our “icks” run the show then we run the risk of never being satisfied with any potential person. My “icks” are WILD - as in, he said he can’t wait to see my smile again… 😑
What I started doing is being more curious and trying to pay more attention to what I don’t know about a person than what I do. For me, niceness and affection too soon gives me an ick, so I try to tell myself “isn’t it so nice that this person is looking forward to seeing me again?”. Anything to make it mean something different 😅
Sure, give up on people that you’re definitely not aligned with, but just try to stretch your edges a bit and give yourself a bit more time to find out more info. But also you know yourself best and where you’re at so go easy on yourself. Don’t force what is really not feeling good for you because dating should be about having good experiences ❤
I sat down with my Mom and prayed for my person, together with her…met my now husband three days later (at work of all places!). He’s everything I thought I wanted in a person and 1000% more, things I didn’t even know I needed in a partner, but totally did.
PS. At 36 I tried a matchmaker. I met a really wonderful, kind, sexy guy & things were going great. Then his ex wanted to try getting back together for the kids. Ugh!!! Then almost a year later I met my husband. Planning & timelines, don't always work out, but things happen when they are supposed to.
Many blessings!!!💖💖💖
Congratulations on owning a home! We all have our own paths, it may not look like we thought but that's ok! You should be so proud of yourself!
Bummed there won’t be any consultations but so excited for your new home! I bought a house on my own as a single woman and didn’t regret it for a second. Congrats!
Abbey, I’m in the exact same spot as you are, down to the age (30 in April) and all. My best friend just gave birth to her first recently and that was a huge hit from reality as in how much my life doesn’t align with the traditional expectations. And that’s totally fine. My biggest goal for the next year is to buy my first home and adopt a dog, and settle down into a stable job as I’m now a freelance consulting scientist travelling 7-8 months per year. What I’m trying to say is - you’re still so young and doing so well in life, I mean you managed to buy a home on your own, that’s huge! Everything else you’re dreaming of can come later in life, there’s no fixed timeline of when you need to do or achieve things. Just because it’s ‘non-traditional’ doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In fact, often it’s a lot more fun 😊 you do you boo x
Congrats on the home. Did it on my own at same age as you are now and no regrets. Best decision.
Totally relate about trying and trying with guys that look great on paper but there just isn’t that connection. I found a guy great on paper AND with a real spark, and we’ve been married almost a year now and more in love than ever. I know the temptation to just force something is strong when you’re single and looking for love, but I really do think it’s worth it to wait for the right person!
Yes on the mental health video! Glad to hear you're making big moves. Love watching these :)
Your new house sounds great. So glad you are happy and content. I bought my house when I was 34. Met my husband at 35 and married at 36. Didn’t expect it lol.
I had long healthy thick shiny hair then I got a bout of cv 19 really bad and was sick for almost 2 months and virtually all my hair fell out. Some people may be mistaking their hair care products for the after-effects of being ill. It took about 2 months after being sick for my hair to really start falling out in clumps, but the extra shedding started while I was sick.
I bought my first home by myself, my family questioned it. I just celebrated 10 years in my house, I met my now husband 9 years ago, got married a couple years later and we have two kids now. I love my house, I'm so glad I got it on my own and for now it's great for my family too.
You are going to be so proud of yourself & grateful for not settling. Using this time to pursue your dreams instead is freaking amazing. ❤
🥰
Congrats on your new home!! Good to hear all of the good things coming your way, you work hard - you deserve it. I hear it all the time, when you stop looking for the love of your life, he'll find you!
It’s seven years minimum to become a doctor! And that’s not including undergrad premed requirements 😅. I’m in my last year of medical residency and I’m soooo tired haha. Loved this update, we’re the same age and I’m looking to buy a house on my own too ❤. Proud of you!
omg CONGRATS on being in your last year! What an accomplishment and omg I cannot imagine the exhaustion
Congrats on the house Abbey, such an amazing accomplishment!!! And thank you for sharing your experience with dating/ hinge. I think 1- it’s validating to hear someone like you who is such a catch thinks hinge is kinda a flop right now (lol) 2- your mindset of finding the right person and prioritizing your time and energy and knowing what’s right for you is so healthy. I think it’s important to talk about the stress of trying to “keep up” with friends. You’re not alone with that.
Enjoy this exciting new chapter of life decorating your new home and becoming a certified trichologist (soon enough!)
Thank you so much!! My god flop is an understatement lol
Your dog is absolutely beautiful! I feel the same about my soulmate dog ;) When my water broke with my first kid and they told me this was actually happening NOW, i cried for at least 15 minutes because I didn't say goodbye to Herbert (my soulmate dog) and I had planned to snuggle with him that day. The nurse did NOT understand and probably thought I should be monitored for several things based on my extreme reaction to being separated from "just a dog". I'm sorry that she isn't experiencing that love in her life to understand what I was going through.
My previous hair stylist became a trichologist. She did extensive education in a program over in Europe. She did explain that there are scam trichology programs, etc. She has such a vast knowledge and can diagnose issues that even dermatologists have not been able to find. She also help cancer patients and those in remission with the hair/scalp issues that they may experience. So yes, there’s scam “trichologists” and even scam programs.
Congratulations on your new home 🏡 ❤
CONGRATULATIONS on your New Home Abbey!! You are Resilient and have a VERY, VERY Bright Future! You are an Inspiration to ALL! ❤
Wow thank you so much! ❤
Abbey, you are such a beautiful soul full of light and goodness. I ran into your videos a few weeks ago and working my way back. You make me giggle, bring a smile to my face and just brighten my day. Love your story about tears as you hug your fur baby. The love between a human and animal is one of the most beautiful ones. Please don’t give up on finding love. My mother always told me it will happen when you least expect it and it did for me 28 years ago. I wish the same for you. Sending you lots of blessings.
The right guy & family will happen for you girl. I was in the exact same boat in December 2021 - very content with myself and life but wanting a husband and family. By August of 2022 I was engaged. Leave space for the right guy and continue to do what you’re doing. Dating apps aren’t for everyone.
Yessssss girl yesssss. I am so appreciative that you are looking out for your safety first! I'm now a single mom and let me tell ya...those thoughts are REAL. I bought a house myself and felt the same fears. Some additional security features on my doors haveade me feel a tad better. ❤
Ugh Moving!!!📦 I'm still surrounded by boxes & seem to knock into something daily, its going on month two...Woah! Lumify just made your already pretty eyes, glitter!!! ✨️
I have two fur babies myself. My husband and I can’t have children, so Denali and Phoenix are my everything. Ready for the Minnesota winter? I live in Wisconsin so I feel the pain of Winter. Can you do a dedicated video on the best Fragrance free products (skin care, hair care, makeup)?
CONGRATS on the new place! So excited for you! Love watching these life updates- I currently live in Minnesota but moving to Chicago for Anesthesia school so I can relate a lot to you- I just turned 30! Sending so much love to you and hope your staying warm!!!
Idk if you know this Abbey but Sam Ellis is a cosmetic dermatologist. She's the founder of the brand Prequel. I know you don't want to be a dermatologist but I guess it's just a cool fact to know. Cosmetic dermatology is a subspecialty within dermatology that helps patients improve their skin, hair, and nails for cosmetic purposes, rather than for health reasons.
I went through a period of moving constantly for several years too. On the bright side, I learned how to be really good at packing and organizing a move by the end.
Your thought process of feeling safer in an apt vs a house is 1,000% how I think too about that lol. And I would also love to learn how you dealt with health anxiety as I have that too. 🙏🙏🙏
Just clicked on on ur video. I'm 41 I know ur pain of moving! I lived in the same house my entire childhood, but once I got 18 I moved out, as of now I have moved over 20x's!
On into the video, I encourage you to babysit for ur friends and really think about having children, don't get me wrong I love my children, but the destroyed my body and mental health.
Hey girl…. Do you know your hair color info? Love it!!
Im 31, single, live alone and rent an apartment in a big urban city. I too thought that by this age I would be married and buying a house with a significant other, so much for that lol. Buying a house seems like such a difficult and overwhelming process, especially having to it all solo without anyone else helping. Becoming a dermatologist is really hard. I am a doctor but in general and family med, but to get to that point it was 6 years of uni, 2 years of intern and then 3 years of residency, so total of 11 years to complete specialisation. For derm, I suspect it would be longer
Don’t feel bad
I moved 17 times as a single mom of 3. We are strong and these videos make it better 😂😊💖
There are so many expectations about what someone HAS to accomplish by 30. But once you get to your bday you don't know where all that fuzz comes from (ok, you do know: people around you, social media, blah blah). But you are more aware that everyone goes on their own time. Abbey, please don't feel like you must do certain things just because you are a certain age. You are doing amazing right now: you helped so many people, and you have a great channel and a beautiful dog. (and a new house too!) 🥰
Abbey you are crushing it. Keep doing what you are doing!! 😊
Health anxiety crew get in formation 😂 glad to hear you're doing well and you have such a great support system! I think it's so important to spend time with ourselves and being content before finding a partner. This part of your life is just preparing you for things you wouldn't dream of😁
LOL. And that's such a good way of thinking about it!
Yes please on the health anxiety grwm and CONGRATULATIONS on the house
Congratulations on the new house, Abbey!!❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations on the house!! It's such a huge accomplishment💜💜
Omg congrats on the house !! That's such an incredible accomplishment ♥︎ I feel you on feeling unsafe but maybe getting cameras and extra security might help!! Really looking forward to more hair videos after you complete your certification !! :)
i’m sorta in the opposite situation as you. i have a husband and 2 kids but we don’t have our own house yet and i want it sooooo bad.
hopefully soon you’ll find a great match for you and i’ll get a house! 😅
Very happy to hear that you’re in such a good space emotionally/mentally.
I just went through a lot of similar life changes. Moved from Chicago back to my hometown in Wisco. Cherishing family time. Feeling “behind” my sister in terms of family, etc. So I feel you on that! Trying to remember that everything will come in it’s own due time but I’m a planner so I want everything NOW lol
Girrrrl where did you buy in Minneapolis? Homes are sooo expensive. I've been wanting to buy for so long but so many homes in Twin Cities metro are like 1-2 bedrooms, 1 bath built in the 40s and 400k+ 🙃
The chaos that is you applying mascara. 😂 i love watching you do it!
Congratulations on your new home!❤
I recently found your channel through your hair oiling video and fell in love with your video style. So well researched and this was great to get to know you. Congrats on moving! Being with your family is so important. Can you please do a skin care video? Your skin is beautiful!
Congratulations 🎉❤ been watching your channel ever since the beginning and I’m glad you found a 🏡 to love and enjoy with your little girl 🐶 💕 Keep up with your amazing content! Xo
omg thank you for sticking along for the ride! and thank you so much xx ❤
Love you! So happy for you! I’m a mom of a 32 and a 30 yr and all we want is for our girls to be safe and happy 😊❤
Congrats on the house! What an amazing accomplishment.
I took a long break from dating apps when I was feeling the way you are describing. After the break (which was so good for me) I ended up meeting my husband within a month. Enjoy your house and Elsie!
I also respect how you can recognize when you don’t feel a intimate connection. A lot of people get with other people because they love them as a friend and as a partner their relationship goes to hell & they don’t know why. (Not always, of course.)
Congratulations!! It felt like such a huge accomplishment when I purchased my first house on my own!!! So happy for you!
the Geek & Gorgeous Liquid Hydration Spray is LIFE CHANGING, it's so good
Hi Abbey! My curiousity would be actually about how you're able to swing loans. It's surprising a lender would allow you to get a loan due to income being potentially inconsistent. I mean this as nothing rude, I promise. Its just solely based on how lenders like verifying employment and things like that if that makes sense. Like my friend just pulled a loan and they called her job asking for them to confirm employment for her loan. Just curious how that worked for you!
And of course, congratulations! We all just want you to be happy in whatever path your life may take.
I built my home at age 25, so I get it 100%. Congrats to you....that is an amazing accomplishment.
Been watching since 2020 and I am so happy for you and your sweet updates ❤
Abbey, I absolutely LOVE your content! regarding how long it takes to become a medical doctor - med school is typically 4 years (sometimes 5 if they take a research year or decide to pursue MD/MBA or MD/MPH path). then there is residency which is generally 3 to 5 years depending on the specialty. there may also be a fellowship after that takes 1-2 years. I'm not in medicine myself but my husband is in med school. Feels like it takes eternity to become a doctor
You go, Girl! I love your ability to keep going in spite of everything. You are an inspiration to so many. I’m glad you’re near your family. ❤
Thank you so much ❤
Never settle! You deserve fireworks and sparks💕When you stop looking they will find you…I’m a firm believer in that.
I’m 29 and single and I’m okay being alone, because I have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Murphy. He’s such a cuddle bug and I love him SO much! I totally understand what you mean pets are family
Murphy!! So adorable. Cavaliers are the best omg
Loving your haircolor! You look great without makeup!❤ Yay on the home🎉
I loved this video, Abbey!! So real! I would love a video about health anxiety.
Congrats Abbey!!! I think it's amazing that you work for yourself and got your first home on your own. I hope you make lots of good memories there! Also, it might take a while to meet a partner who can match your energy because you have sooo much to offer, but when it happens you guys will definitely be a POWER couple!!!! xoxoxo happy holidays
Girllllll! Breathe. You are doing more then great! Trust me. Lota of your friends with the picture perfect family secretally would love to exchange lives with you for a bit. Anxiety is disease we just learn to live with it. We truly do.
Hi Abbey! I love your videos and life updates. They are so amazing! I also love watching you do your makeup. You make it look so effortless! 🤩🤩Do you think you could do a full tutorial? I need your secrets of getting mascara off your eyelids! Much love❤️
The great thing about a dog is in addition to being a wonderful companion, they are also not only an excellent early alarm system but also a fantastic deterent as no criminal wants a barking dog drawing attention to what they are doing. Elsie is absolutely adorable.
Congrats on the house girl.
Lol I always imagined myself buying a home before meeting my SO but I’m doing it opposite. For anyone struggling to buy remember that a lot of people have family help (not a bad thing) and don’t talk about it. Thanks for reminding me life has its own order. Here is to hoping it is possible to buy in NY or LA some day. 😭😭😭
Congratulations Abbey ❤
You deserve the best. I’m so happy for you. You’ll find the right person when time comes.
I got married very young and I’m raising four little ones at 30. I can’t believe it either but everyone’s journey is different.
Wishing you the best.
Am beyond hapoy for u. Never clicked on a video so fast. So happy u and Elsie have this home and new chapter. Xxxx
Congrats on your new house, I love hearing your stories about life not going to how you thought. I feel 100% in the same boat
You're not alone! ❤