Caller, do NOT ask your wife to "help you" in this journey. Just live it, make the changes, and watch your wife start to respect you more. Stop being a doormat for a woman who desperately does NOT want you to be a doormat.
Totally agree, you will give your wife more power over you if you ask her to “support” you in this. Asking for help and support is important but not if the person you’re dealing with is not seeing your current position and understanding it. I wish you all the best and I feel you btw! I HATE confrontations and chaos situations.
He’s afraid of conflict because he has this belief that if there’s conflict, then it must be a reflection of him and that he’s a bad person because he was ingrained to believe other people’s emotions or problems are his responsibility. His mother emotionally abused him with guilt tripping and shaming him because she can’t handle her emotions. So now he’s a perfectionist, people pleaser, codependent and conflict triggers him because it subconsciously reminds him of his feelings of shame that his mom projected on him as a kid.
I used to get upset when my mom pulled the silent treatment. Then I realized the silence was a gift to be grateful for. When I stopped trying to jog her out of the silent treatment and left her alone, not seeking to speak to her at all, she would snap out of it within half an hour because she couldn't stand not having that source of attention. My mom is living with untreated borderline personality disorder. My childhood sucked.
One thing that will help him A LOT is to listen to a recording of himself speak. He uses minimizing words like "kinda" or "I guess" and "pretty" (very). If he can eliminate the frequency of these words from his vocabulary then it will help his words speak stronger for what he really wants to say and thereby stand stronger in his opinions.
People who avoid conflict and bottle it up... it eventually comes out in very destructive ways... like ruining a marriage and family... work on why you are avoiding
I had the same childhood mother as this guy. I'm actually the same age as this guy too. How you behave as a parent, silent treatments, explosive yelling, all these things have lasting effects on the child. If you're a parent like the one he described, stop. You WILL cause lasting issues.
A marriage where one person is forced to make all the decisions is not a marriage in my opinion. Like he said, she has a 6th child. I see real trouble for this marriage if he can't change.
He was always this way. She married him and had five kids with him. And now this is a problem. Women reserve the right to change their minds at any time.
@@bkucenskiI must respectfully question that “most of the time …the spouse is insufferable”. In 40 yrs. of marriage, asked my husband where/how he wanted to vacation, activities we could do together, about investing for retirement, his ideal retirement (part-time? move somewhere new?) everything! He does not reveal or choose. Nothing. I arrange everything and hope he’s happy. He’s so distant I don’t know who he’s become. Attribute this to the emotional neglect and physical abuse as one of 12 children. He was not allowed a voice, any choices or to express his needs/wishes. Mom’s tactics were silent treatment and physical abuse. No wonder he is truly handicapped in this way. My children are grown. I left the home three years ago, moved 800 miles back to my home state to “retire”myself. Engaged in community service, new friends…..there is such peace in this. My husband doesn’t miss me…all he does is work 60 hours a week. Why? Because his job runs the way HE wants it to and is his life; where validation comes from. I can’t fix this. And he doesn’t want to try. Frankly think he should have always lived by himself.
Great book, No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover talks about how to go fr being a nice guy w no spine to a good guy great statement in that book is the author says his wife told him ,"How can I trust you to stand up for me if you're scared to stand up to me for yourself "
Wish Dr. Deloney had asked caller what he does for a living and has he been able to get promoted. An avoidant personality will never be in a supervisory position, nor be an entrepreneur/business owner. Caller needs a therapist that helps him develop conflict resolutions skills. He will soon discover who his real friends are and who has been using him as their doormat (dump those people). Caller is fixated on his marital dynamics, but being avoidant really effects every interaction he has with family, friends, coworkers, even strangers.
I'm somewhat like the caller and I'm a business owner and I've handle supervisory positions in the past. With my crew and clients I lay down the rules and my exceptions from the start. One of my pet pevs are don't come to work and tell me what you not going to do! And for my clients I always tell them please let me know if there's a issue with my services don't talk behind my back! I'm in the janitorial business so If I been cleaning your building the same way for months don't come to me 6 months into the contract saying you not happy...if you wasn't happy you had 60days in the initial start to complain...the building is being cleaned the same way! I'm very direct but fair. After these talks I expect you to follow these rules and leave me alone! I don't want to discuss what we discussed at the beginning like we are in school. This is where I avoid conflict because I expect you to follow my request. Now I don't mind if you have an issue with me to approach me but you should've spoke up along time ago before we got comfortable with each other. Also, I'm not going to argue about every little thing with you...being a few minutes late, not sweeping a certain way, not picking up after yourself if you're my client. So if I don't pick After you don't pick After me! Shut up! That's what I finally say after being pressured into it. I cleaned a church daycare for a year and it was horrible. The director would run and tell the pastor things but never me. So I approach her, asked her exceptions and told her please let me know if anything comes up I want to make you and the parents happy. She still went to the pastor. So I started taking pictures of things like toys all over the floor that wasn't picked up, vomit I had to clean up...things I wasn't suppose to do but did it because frankly I have to clean up anyway. When we had a meeting because of the director I showed her these pictures and said, " I been taking pictures for months to show you I never once complained about me so why you hell bent complaining about me"!
This really spoke to me as I feel the same way. Also, a close friend ghosted me late last year. Someone who I cared a lot for and didn't want to drift apart from. But it happened anyway. I've made my peace with that and it reminded me if it's going to happen then it will happen no matter how hard you try to ensure that it won't.
I like this guy. Hopefully he can mend very soon as he has insight and an honest heart. It seems he was raised by a narcissistic/borderline mother and displays the typical soft no conflict easy going hypervigilant nature. Having volatile mother causes adrenal burnout in kids and teens and once an adult you try best to avoid any fight or flight situations as in childhood you were in constant fight survival mode. He needs to avoid sugar, start fasting and go on keto diet, exercise to re-regulate the entire hormonal system to break out of this... and of course practice assertiveness and be comfortable in it. All the best you will be fine
@@prevaloir5362Are you Steven? Cool. One thought I had, might help, might not, is that I thought I was a people pleaser because I tend to do what others want. But I do that because I want to. I'm not a people pleaser when it comes to the things that actually matter to me. Once I realised that, I realised I wasn't as much of a people pleaser as I'd thought 😊 Although I am a *bit* of a people pleaser 😄
And if we were talking I would tell you when you approached me, " it's ashamed as adults you are coming to me about something like this, I didn't approach you so don't approach me".
My dad has used the silent treatment on me many times. Even as an adult. The last one lasted almost 2 years, and I had to make the first move in an attempt to reconcile.
My ex was conflict avoidant. He learned it from his mother who did not allow the kids to have an opinion, feelings or whatever and they would get their teeth knocked out. We’ll step mother I should say. He was the same with me and it was exhausting. He left our family and cut ties to me and our kids and grands and his family of origin as well. Then he comes to me after he remarried that he didn’t treat me right and now he is real bitter because he doesn’t want the new marriage either. So it’s everyone else’s fault he is miserable
A avoidant conflict causes more conflict, so I think it’s funny that they somehow come off as heroes in the situation for avoiding it. It’s not a badge of honor it’s a problem.
This is why i hate the phrase happy wife happy life. It's created a man such as this caller. I used to hate conflicts. However, bottling up the way you feel and trying not to create waves leads to outbursts and resent. Speak your mind. Of course don't spew hate to get your point across but please don't bottle your thoughts and emotions because your scared your significant other will cry or be upset.
I think this man is my brother because we have the same parents! My mother loved the silent treatments! Unfortunately i ended up marrying a man just like my mother. That ended 9 years ago. Now I'm dealing with adult children giving me the silent treatment🤦♂️
Rock the boat. Your the leader not the follower. Do the shadow work. Go get hobbies. Piss her off and its her problem to deal with her emotions about it.
My ex used silent treatment on me and it worked wonderfully while I will be in shambles trying to fix and figure out what went wrong. Now my 7 year old child does this silent treatment and not sharing and I get triggered. She has been groomed by her father to jot share what is going on in her mind be it good or bad.
Emotional abuse is more prevalent, and l, in my opinion, believe it is more damaging than physical abuse. With physical abuse, you can at least see when something is wrong. I have my theories as to why its ignored as much as it is.
I was 4 years old when my mother went nuts cause I didn't put Baby Jesus manger. She kept me up all night at a party the night before. I also didn't know my turn was last. Got her back though. I am a singer and perform. Haha
So you can’t say things without being nasty? If there’s no communication because it’s either nasty or nothing , there is a HUGE problem with character.
Who wants to have an opinion if their spouse going to get upset and argue? No one wants to argue...disagree is fine but I will not have a screaming match or be degraded because of my opinion. It may reflect on his wife and her reaction.
Sometimes your anger is so much that you need to calm down and speak to child afterwards as you are triggered..isn't it better to not speak to the kid in midst of strongest of emotion? Than speak something irrarional due to trigger and destroy their hearts? What is thin line here
I think communicating that is the best way. "Mommy needs a break, I'm going to my room, and I'll see (talk with) you in a moment once I've calmed down."
Yes, it's one thing to take a moment to gather your emotions. It's quite another to try to manipulate a loved one in the same household by refusing to speak to them for days
First, the husband's mother sounds like she implemented "conditional love"/high manipulation which could be why he (the son) does not want to disagree with his wife. He has been "programmed", not to insert his opinions, because if it is different than hers (his wife) it may become uncomfortable. Second, he needs to understand that couples can agree to disagree (without dishes flying) and still remain civil, in addition to, love each other. Third, I would agree with Dr. John Delony that some issues may be "tabled" until another point in time, until both are ready to discuss. Fourth, he (the husband) needs to feel that his wife is his equal, and that certain decisions should be met with equality. For example- Johnny and Jamie like to go out to dinner every other Friday. In order for each one to feel that it is fair and equitable, Jaime picks the first location, and Johnny picks the second, or vice versa. It does not matter if the other does not like the restaurant, because the spouse that picked it out does. With that being said, I am sure the spouse that does not like the restaurant will find something. The point is, sometimes sacrifices are made to make the other spouse happy. There are other solutions to this, but that is just one of them. Good luck to this caller, may he be able to establish new boundaries and a new voice in his marriage.
A man that doesn’t speak up because he’s afraid of a fight can be two things. Is she narcissistic and can’t handle his opinion or pushback , or is he just weak and fearful. There shouldn’t be CONSTANT conflict, but conflict in and of itself is not bad. Either he can’t handle conflict at all ( a )!huge turnoff to women or his wife is a raging narcissistic woman .
The person who gets mad when they don't get their way is the child in the relationship. The guy needs a divorce. The Bible says you are better off living in the corner of the roof than in a large house with a quarrelsome wife. I can't imagine tolerating someone who throws a tantrum over every decision.
The Bible also gives clear grounds for divorce, and this is not one of them.. Lastly, quarrels come. They should not be frequent but its the ability to resolve them that counts.
@@jemimajanvier4706 Oh, does it? Abusers like to quote the Bible like it's some magical incantation that traps people. Give everything you have to the poor, take care of the plank in your own eye, and then get back to us.
I remember years ago we dropped dad's electric wheelchair. The tool icon came on but after I power cycled it everything was fine. Mom said, "oh good, I won't have to kill myself". I don't remember how many times things like this happened.
The audio book by Iceberg Slim is a must listen for this guy! He sounds like the outcome of no male role model and how to set boundaries with goals for women. Women need this or they cause problems and get in trouble. If he listens to Iceberg Slim the knowledge will begin to set fruit in his mind.
@@omowhanre Those are basic skills into understanding the motivation of women- and he is basically an incel if he doesn't stand on his feet in a marriage. Sounds like you also need to listen to that audio book...
I find it fascinating that when a lot of the times if a husband lets his wife make all the decisions he is considered a “child” but when a wife lets her husband make all the decision she isn’t considered one. Yet we keep saying men and women are now equal, apparently not. 😂
Caller, do NOT ask your wife to "help you" in this journey. Just live it, make the changes, and watch your wife start to respect you more. Stop being a doormat for a woman who desperately does NOT want you to be a doormat.
@@user-qp2qe5gf9bso y'all got divorced or are still together?
Totally agree, you will give your wife more power over you if you ask her to “support” you in this. Asking for help and support is important but not if the person you’re dealing with is not seeing your current position and understanding it. I wish you all the best and I feel you btw! I HATE confrontations and chaos situations.
Right don’t ask your partner in life for help? Geezus bro
@tcarp1616 I've been married many years. He doesnt need her help. He knows the problem.
Once a doormat, always a doormat... he won't get her respect, no matter what he does.
He’s afraid of conflict because he has this belief that if there’s conflict, then it must be a reflection of him and that he’s a bad person because he was ingrained to believe other people’s emotions or problems are his responsibility.
His mother emotionally abused him with guilt tripping and shaming him because she can’t handle her emotions. So now he’s a perfectionist, people pleaser, codependent and conflict triggers him because it subconsciously reminds him of his feelings of shame that his mom projected on him as a kid.
Spot on!
Yes!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Double like
This!!! Just....this 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Bleh. This comment made me cry.
I used to get upset when my mom pulled the silent treatment. Then I realized the silence was a gift to be grateful for. When I stopped trying to jog her out of the silent treatment and left her alone, not seeking to speak to her at all, she would snap out of it within half an hour because she couldn't stand not having that source of attention. My mom is living with untreated borderline personality disorder. My childhood sucked.
One thing that will help him A LOT is to listen to a recording of himself speak. He uses minimizing words like "kinda" or "I guess" and "pretty" (very). If he can eliminate the frequency of these words from his vocabulary then it will help his words speak stronger for what he really wants to say and thereby stand stronger in his opinions.
I heard that too. Over and over again.
People who avoid conflict and bottle it up... it eventually comes out in very destructive ways... like ruining a marriage and family... work on why you are avoiding
or becoming self destructive
Great call and great advice. Your wife will appreciate having a husband strong enough to advocate for himself and his family.
I had the same childhood mother as this guy. I'm actually the same age as this guy too. How you behave as a parent, silent treatments, explosive yelling, all these things have lasting effects on the child. If you're a parent like the one he described, stop. You WILL cause lasting issues.
A marriage where one person is forced to make all the decisions is not a marriage in my opinion. Like he said, she has a 6th child. I see real trouble for this marriage if he can't change.
Most of the times, one person is not "forced" to make all the decisions. They are just so insufferable, that their "partner" shuts down.
I disagree. He's willing to work on himself and is trying to correct his ways. Someone like that is definitely a good partner.
@@Ryan-wx1bi He's not the problem. No sane person wants a fight over every disagreement. He married a shrew. That's the problem.
He was always this way. She married him and had five kids with him. And now this is a problem. Women reserve the right to change their minds at any time.
@@bkucenskiI must respectfully question that “most of the time …the spouse is insufferable”. In 40 yrs. of marriage, asked my husband where/how he wanted to vacation, activities we could do together, about investing for retirement, his ideal retirement (part-time? move somewhere new?) everything! He does not reveal or choose. Nothing. I arrange everything and hope he’s happy. He’s so distant I don’t know who he’s become. Attribute this to the emotional neglect and physical abuse as one of 12 children. He was not allowed a voice, any choices or to express his needs/wishes. Mom’s tactics were silent treatment and physical abuse. No wonder he is truly handicapped in this way.
My children are grown. I left the home three years ago, moved 800 miles back to my home state to “retire”myself. Engaged in community service, new friends…..there is such peace in this. My husband doesn’t miss me…all he does is work 60 hours a week. Why? Because his job runs the way HE wants it to and is his life; where validation comes from. I can’t fix this. And he doesn’t want to try.
Frankly think he should have always lived by himself.
Great book, No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover
talks about how to go fr being a nice guy w no spine to a good guy
great statement in that book is the author says his wife told him ,"How can I trust you to stand up for me if you're scared to stand up to me for yourself "
Hey, is it applicable for women ? Then I will read it too
People are loving who you are portraiting to be not you. Don't cheat on yourself you will resent yourself in the future.😢
I was kinda like that and it was one of the worst things I've ever done
Wish Dr. Deloney had asked caller what he does for a living and has he been able to get promoted. An avoidant personality will never be in a supervisory position, nor be an entrepreneur/business owner. Caller needs a therapist that helps him develop conflict resolutions skills. He will soon discover who his real friends are and who has been using him as their doormat (dump those people). Caller is fixated on his marital dynamics, but being avoidant really effects every interaction he has with family, friends, coworkers, even strangers.
I'm somewhat like the caller and I'm a business owner and I've handle supervisory positions in the past. With my crew and clients I lay down the rules and my exceptions from the start. One of my pet pevs are don't come to work and tell me what you not going to do! And for my clients I always tell them please let me know if there's a issue with my services don't talk behind my back! I'm in the janitorial business so If I been cleaning your building the same way for months don't come to me 6 months into the contract saying you not happy...if you wasn't happy you had 60days in the initial start to complain...the building is being cleaned the same way!
I'm very direct but fair. After these talks I expect you to follow these rules and leave me alone! I don't want to discuss what we discussed at the beginning like we are in school. This is where I avoid conflict because I expect you to follow my request.
Now I don't mind if you have an issue with me to approach me but you should've spoke up along time ago before we got comfortable with each other.
Also, I'm not going to argue about every little thing with you...being a few minutes late, not sweeping a certain way, not picking up after yourself if you're my client. So if I don't pick After you don't pick After me! Shut up! That's what I finally say after being pressured into it.
I cleaned a church daycare for a year and it was horrible. The director would run and tell the pastor things but never me. So I approach her, asked her exceptions and told her please let me know if anything comes up I want to make you and the parents happy. She still went to the pastor. So I started taking pictures of things like toys all over the floor that wasn't picked up, vomit I had to clean up...things I wasn't suppose to do but did it because frankly I have to clean up anyway. When we had a meeting because of the director I showed her these pictures and said, " I been taking pictures for months to show you I never once complained about me so why you hell bent complaining about me"!
This really spoke to me as I feel the same way. Also, a close friend ghosted me late last year. Someone who I cared a lot for and didn't want to drift apart from. But it happened anyway. I've made my peace with that and it reminded me if it's going to happen then it will happen no matter how hard you try to ensure that it won't.
I like this guy.
Hopefully he can mend very soon as he has insight and an honest heart.
It seems he was raised by a narcissistic/borderline mother and displays the typical soft no conflict easy going hypervigilant nature. Having volatile mother causes adrenal burnout in kids and teens and once an adult you try best to avoid any fight or flight situations as in childhood you were in constant fight survival mode.
He needs to avoid sugar, start fasting and go on keto diet, exercise to re-regulate the entire hormonal system to break out of this... and of course practice assertiveness and be comfortable in it. All the best you will be fine
No more mr nice guy would be a good book for this caller to read
I'll give it a read.
@@prevaloir5362Are you Steven? Cool.
One thought I had, might help, might not, is that I thought I was a people pleaser because I tend to do what others want.
But I do that because I want to. I'm not a people pleaser when it comes to the things that actually matter to me.
Once I realised that, I realised I wasn't as much of a people pleaser as I'd thought 😊
Although I am a *bit* of a people pleaser 😄
I personally like conflict and confrontation.
opposite extreme 🚩
You must be from the West Indies. You have one of my favorite Zouk singers there 🙂
And if we were talking I would tell you when you approached me, " it's ashamed as adults you are coming to me about something like this, I didn't approach you so don't approach me".
Omg my hubs is exactly like this! Except I'm a people pleaser too, so l never told him he's gotta change..
My dad has used the silent treatment on me many times. Even as an adult. The last one lasted almost 2 years, and I had to make the first move in an attempt to reconcile.
Wow. You're better than I. I would never reconcile with someone like that.
😢
That's so sad.
I so feel this guy. I was enlightened by this call. I'm not sure how to do a reset at this point in my life.
My ex was conflict avoidant. He learned it from his mother who did not allow the kids to have an opinion, feelings or whatever and they would get their teeth knocked out. We’ll step mother I should say. He was the same with me and it was exhausting. He left our family and cut ties to me and our kids and grands and his family of origin as well. Then he comes to me after he remarried that he didn’t treat me right and now he is real bitter because he doesn’t want the new marriage either. So it’s everyone else’s fault he is miserable
Sounds absolutely exhausting. I'd cut all contact with him.
A avoidant conflict causes more conflict, so I think it’s funny that they somehow come off as heroes in the situation for avoiding it. It’s not a badge of honor it’s a problem.
Unfortunately, they are too afraid to speak their opinion and think giving into that person's needs solves the problem
This is why i hate the phrase happy wife happy life. It's created a man such as this caller. I used to hate conflicts. However, bottling up the way you feel and trying not to create waves leads to outbursts and resent. Speak your mind. Of course don't spew hate to get your point across but please don't bottle your thoughts and emotions because your scared your significant other will cry or be upset.
Ironically, we hear Dave telling callers "happy wife, happy life" all the time!
@@fldave612
Dave has lost touch with reality. He doesn't realize family law, divorce, and marriage minded women are damn near extinct.
Step up and be a leader my guy!
I think this man is my brother because we have the same parents! My mother loved the silent treatments! Unfortunately i ended up marrying a man just like my mother. That ended 9 years ago. Now I'm dealing with adult children giving me the silent treatment🤦♂️
Well they say you either marry your mom or your dad.
Using the silent treatment is so cruel.
Rock the boat. Your the leader not the follower. Do the shadow work. Go get hobbies. Piss her off and its her problem to deal with her emotions about it.
My ex used silent treatment on me and it worked wonderfully while I will be in shambles trying to fix and figure out what went wrong. Now my 7 year old child does this silent treatment and not sharing and I get triggered. She has been groomed by her father to jot share what is going on in her mind be it good or bad.
Emotional abuse is more prevalent, and l, in my opinion, believe it is more damaging than physical abuse.
With physical abuse, you can at least see when something is wrong.
I have my theories as to why its ignored as much as it is.
It would thin the ranks of therapists, politicians and business leaders.
Emotional abuse isn't being ignored anymore.
I was 4 years old when my mother went nuts cause I didn't put Baby Jesus manger. She kept me up all night at a party the night before. I also didn't know my turn was last. Got her back though. I am a singer and perform. Haha
It’s better to be silent instead of saying nasty things to each other. Sometimes your so mad you can’t be rational.
So you can’t say things without being nasty? If there’s no communication because it’s either nasty or nothing , there is a HUGE problem with character.
Learn how to communicate without being nasty.
Someone tell this guy to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover.
Who wants to have an opinion if their spouse going to get upset and argue? No one wants to argue...disagree is fine but I will not have a screaming match or be degraded because of my opinion. It may reflect on his wife and her reaction.
my husband does this at first but then the next day is able to talk
This was really good
Sometimes your anger is so much that you need to calm down and speak to child afterwards as you are triggered..isn't it better to not speak to the kid in midst of strongest of emotion? Than speak something irrarional due to trigger and destroy their hearts? What is thin line here
I think communicating that is the best way. "Mommy needs a break, I'm going to my room, and I'll see (talk with) you in a moment once I've calmed down."
Yes, it's one thing to take a moment to gather your emotions. It's quite another to try to manipulate a loved one in the same household by refusing to speak to them for days
7:00 the biggest trigger for my cptsd
Read "Our Mothers, Ourselves" by Dr. Henry Cloud .... enlightening
First, the husband's mother sounds like she implemented "conditional love"/high manipulation which could be why he (the son) does not want to disagree with his wife. He has been "programmed", not to insert his opinions, because if it is different than hers (his wife) it may become uncomfortable. Second, he needs to understand that couples can agree to disagree (without dishes flying) and still remain civil, in addition to, love each other. Third, I would agree with Dr. John Delony that some issues may be "tabled" until another point in time, until both are ready to discuss. Fourth, he (the husband) needs to feel that his wife is his equal, and that certain decisions should be met with equality. For example- Johnny and Jamie like to go out to dinner every other Friday. In order for each one to feel that it is fair and equitable, Jaime picks the first location, and Johnny picks the second, or vice versa. It does not matter if the other does not like the restaurant, because the spouse that picked it out does. With that being said, I am sure the spouse that does not like the restaurant will find something. The point is, sometimes sacrifices are made to make the other spouse happy. There are other solutions to this, but that is just one of them.
Good luck to this caller, may he be able to establish new boundaries and a new voice in his marriage.
A man that doesn’t speak up because he’s afraid of a fight can be two things. Is she narcissistic and can’t handle his opinion or pushback , or is he just weak and fearful. There shouldn’t be CONSTANT conflict, but conflict in and of itself is not bad. Either he can’t handle conflict at all ( a )!huge turnoff to women or his wife is a raging narcissistic woman .
The person who gets mad when they don't get their way is the child in the relationship.
The guy needs a divorce. The Bible says you are better off living in the corner of the roof than in a large house with a quarrelsome wife.
I can't imagine tolerating someone who throws a tantrum over every decision.
It doesn't even sound like she's quarrelsome. He just won't give an opinion and then pouts
@@jerrystauffer2351 No. She already played the bully and he checked out long ago. He should just walk away. It's not his job to raise a child.
The Bible also gives clear grounds for divorce, and this is not one of them..
Lastly, quarrels come. They should not be frequent but its the ability to resolve them that counts.
@@jemimajanvier4706 Oh, does it? Abusers like to quote the Bible like it's some magical incantation that traps people. Give everything you have to the poor, take care of the plank in your own eye, and then get back to us.
I remember years ago we dropped dad's electric wheelchair. The tool icon came on but after I power cycled it everything was fine. Mom said, "oh good, I won't have to kill myself". I don't remember how many times things like this happened.
damn Shaq caught a stray😂
Just on seeing the thumbnail, i smell Relationship OCD/Anxiety.
This guy needs assertiveness and conflict resolution training. And then he needs to practise those skills on a daily basis.
this is exactly why men shouldn’t marry.. you do not live in fear.. you live free.. women can come and go as they please
Wwwooossshhhhh
Take away some of her emotional labor! Come on, man!
The audio book by Iceberg Slim is a must listen for this guy! He sounds like the outcome of no male role model and how to set boundaries with goals for women. Women need this or they cause problems and get in trouble.
If he listens to Iceberg Slim the knowledge will begin to set fruit in his mind.
So a pimp book is the answer 🙄. Ok guy. He’s married and in a relationship, he’s not a lonely incel.
@@omowhanre
Those are basic skills into understanding the motivation of women- and he is basically an incel if he doesn't stand on his feet in a marriage.
Sounds like you also need to listen to that audio book...
We need this or we cause problems....😂😂😂
@@nicolab2075
Women without direction and solid boundaries get in trouble....
Eve comes to mind.
@@GardenerEarthGuy 🤣😂🤣
My wife leaving to go eat by herself was always a great evening.
I find it fascinating that when a lot of the times if a husband lets his wife make all the decisions he is considered a “child” but when a wife lets her husband make all the decision she isn’t considered one. Yet we keep saying men and women are now equal, apparently not. 😂
Being the guy that the caller is told to be resulted in two divorced for me.