Lauren, I felt exactly like you when I was pregnant with my kid. I also had GD. I didn’t like being pregnant, I felt out of control, and that things were just “happening” to me. My kid was not planned (I have PCOS so I was told I couldn’t have children naturally) and my husband and I had tried over 7 years with no success, I had become resolved to being childless. So, I had that added to my already uncomfortable feelings. I tried to bond with my baby in the womb, but, it felt like I was faking it. When baby was born they almost died. I remember looking at everything happening and feeling very disconnected from the experience I’m sure part of that was shock. I felt bad that I wasn’t gushing and loving every moment of being pregnant like other women I knew. I wouldn’t say that I hated being pregnant, but the feeling of not being able to be in control of my own body bothered me more than I anticipated. I attributed part of my disconnection with the fact that I didn’t look pregnant until I was 8 months because of how the baby was lying in my womb. But, I have to say, when my baby was born, I remember looking at them and still feeling a bit odd. Like, I’m not sure I know you, but you’re cute and helpless, so here we go with this Mom thing. But, something happened, and I cannot explain when, and like the grinch my heart grew 3 sizes and then all I saw was the baby, lol. And now, I’m decades out of the baby stage and my “baby” is still the best thing that has ever happened to me. I say all this because they don’t tell you that sometimes the strongest bonds take a little bit of time to forge. But, I’m positive you’ll get there. Congratulations. 💜 By the way: I only had one, because yeah, one and done. Not a moment goes by where I wish I had more children.
I love that you’re so honest. I feel like people just assume that everyone loves being pregnant & those that don’t feel like they can’t openly share their feelings. Not everyone loves being pregnant & that’s ok! You’re still going to love your baby & be the best mom ❤️
I relate to this so much. When people would say “you should be grateful you’re pregnant!” I am grateful, but I’m also tired, uncomfortable, nauseated, moody and whatever else!! It’s so odd. Wishing you a fast last month of pregnancy!!
I’ve been following for years and have always loved your realness and honesty! Thank you for making this video and here’s to a healthy, quick and great delivery! As well as to you and the babe being happy and healthy 🥰
Thank you Lauren for being so generous and vulnerable with your experience 💕 I’m sure it will resonate with so many people. Wishing you an easy delivery and lots of support in these final weeks 😘
I felt this 100%. I was very disconnected from my pregnancy as well. It wasn’t something I was going through, it was this thing that was happening TO me. I resisted buying baby things because I wasn’t ready for the clutter in my house. I never thought in terms of “oh my baby” or “I’m going to be a mommy”. It was just getting through the day. Even when my son was born, it wasn’t an instant connection. As I write this, I am currently 10, almost 11 weeks postpartum, and my son is the absolute love of my life. It took time, especially since no one talks about how postpartum recovery is a B!TCH, so bonding that first month is difficult. After that is when I think we really began to bond.
This is why I've always followed you ... your honesty! Whether it's been about shitty tasting food or this experience which epitomizes (Lauren in) REAL LIFE. Not some romantisized social media version of pregnancy or how you were supposed to feel about it. That said I wish you a healthy baby and delivery.
Appreciate your authenticity. I was very sick every single day of my pregnancy. Being pregnant sucked ... but being a mom is amazing. I wish you lots of healing, and I hope the process ends on a high note with a healthy baby in your arms.
Honestly I feel like every woman goes through an identity crisis with her first pregnancy. You will feel like your old self once you’re able to get back to doing the things you physically love to do. Life with a child becomes your new normal, and creates your new identity as a mother ✨💖✨
hi Lauren. i got pregnant at 24. my partner and i were trying i guess? but i was naive to the fact that it could literally happen on the first try. so when i saw that positive pregnancy test i freaked out. i wasn’t happy and i was shocked. i spent over a month contemplating going through with the pregnancy or not. i didn’t tell anyone but my closest friends until i decided i was sticking with it. and even after deciding to go through with it, i would still question my decision every day. i was scared that once baby arrived i would deeply regret it and it would ruin my life. my pregnancy was easy so i barely felt like i had to pay attention to being pregnant. i hardly thought about it, didn’t really take any photos, didn’t announce it until a month before i gave birth. i just literally didn’t know how i felt about it the entire time. i also didn’t really feel a connection to my baby while pregnant. as of today my baby girl, Nora, will be a year old in a couple of weeks! (i think your due date was my due date too!) i couldn’t be more in love with my sweet girl. couldn’t imagine my life without her. i am just so glad to have her. all this to say, i appreciate you bringing attention to how you’re feeling. not everyone is over the moon to be pregnant or feel a connection to the process. i felt so much guilt because my first reaction to finding out i was pregnant was anything but a happy feeling. people would ask me my birth plan, or if i have a doula or anything like that. and my response was that i literally had not put any thought into that. i had an OB, and new i’d be going to the hospital and getting an epidural if needed (it was). it just feels good to know that other people go through similar experiences while pregnant because there isn’t much representation for the “unsure” mom side.
My only child is 17 and you just described my pregnancy and feelings exactly. I am excited to see you pregnant because I’ve subscribed to your channels for years and remember talk of no children. Congratulations! 😁
Dear Lauren.. I am glad to see you that you are doing well. Missed you very much! Well... I know... the pregnancy is difficult. My first pregnancy was a nightmare because I couldn't even drink water for few months. I was sad and nervous about changes, it was weird feeling that I have never felt before. However, when I saw my baby's face for the first time, I forgot all of the bad days (this is how I am having 3 kiddos lol).. pure bundle of joy! 😊 It is almost there my friend... and YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Having a child is once in a lifetime event. It is hard but try to enjoy it... we love you girl! Cannot wait to see your little peanut! Sending much love to you all! ❤
Oh Giiirrrrl! I did it three times and I so relate. What I can tell you is there is no plan. It just happens. Funny thing, I see so many people getting all this baby stuff and in the end, you truly don't use much of it. Yes, there are a few basic things but in reality you don't need it all. Do it your way and listen to what people say with a grain of salt. I bought a bassinette and crib. Did my baby ever sleep in either NO! She slept next to me and that was fine. She is now 39 and you know what..., she did the same thing with her baby.
I’m pregnant and I identify with you REAL hard. I think it’s important to know when you share your experience it’s not so much advice or saying “this is what you’ll go through” but it normalizes it. If someone identifies with even a piece of your experience it makes you feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing ❤️
I had a smooth, sickness free pregnancy and did not feel the “connection” and I’m also not an easily excitable person 🤣 it can also take time to feel an intense connection to your new baby.. it’s not like the movies but more of a gradual process to the most amazing love affair of your life 💕
Thank you for sharing, loveee the honesty. I felt so similar when I was pregnant and wish that I heard more of this from other mamas to get an idea of what the experience may be like…definitely the hardest thing I’ve gone through, but so rewarding now that baby is 1 ❤️
i just screamed WHAT when i seen this. Congratulations! Regardless of this journey & the pains and the issues, you will be a wonderful mother and your baby will be beautiful in all ways🌿 Never feel guilty for what you’re doing or not doing as just be the best mom YOU can be! So excited for you 💖
Omg I haven’t checked in on your channel in like a year, I thought omg I miss Lauren Toyota. I was not expecting this, I’m so excited for you! I totally feel you about all the noise out there when looking for advice on anything. Thank you for being you!✨💖✨
Alright, I started following you years ago, back in the day with your “what I eat in a day” serie. At that time I was going through a very hard mental breakdown, and your videos were like a breath of fresh air for me. I suppose youtubers often get that type of comments. Tonight I felt like coming to see what is new with you and I found out you’re pregnant...I wish you the best best best in life!! Thank you for your work.
I had a terrible pregnancy to the point where I am one and done. I completely understand exactly what you are going through. I felt like the worst hangover ever for 38 weeks straight. I lost 20 lbs while pregnant because I could keep nothing down. However, you have an amazing partner and you are going to be the best mom ever! The love you feel for your baby is an out of body experience, it's the most beautiful bond. Sending you so much 💗!
congratulations 🎉 I love how honest you are and appreciate what you've said. I've 2 boys and never felt connected to either of them especially my second until they were born. I also had bad pregnancies, pregnancy doesn't agree with me. Everything will change once they're here, your feelings will change (in my experience anyway). Take everything in your own stride, everyone has different experiences and deal with everything differently. You'll find what works for you, people can give their advice and advice of their experience but you'll figure out what works best for you.
Thank you for this video! If there’s anyone on this planet who I knew would open up, be truly honest, and share their truth about pregnancy, it’s you! So deeply appreciative of this 😌
Thank you for this. Never related so closely to a pregnancy story. I also felt disconnected during my pregnancy, and definitely didn’t feel a “bond” with the fetus. I’m not sure I felt excited even once during the whole process. Fast forward to now and I have a crazy weirdo little two year old running around who makes me laugh so much.
Thank you for sharing! I appreciate how thoughtful you are in realizing everyone's journey is different/their own. I have a 5 week old (my baby came almost 4 weeks early!!!) and let me tell you that for me the birth and the early weeks with a newborn COMPLETELY eclipsed the pregnancy. Your birth and the first few weeks with your baby will be unique and something you can't quite plan for. Best of luck to you.
I find it so interesting how so many women have such different pregnancies. You are not the first person i heard say they feel like a shell or host to the baby. And that disassociation game is real. It’s like your brain is trying to protect you from this huge choice kind of thing. Aside from that thank you for sharing your personal experience. A lot people like to glorify pregnancy and make it seem like it’s the best and only thing a woman can do blah blah blah. Not everyone shares that you’re glowing story. And I’m glad more women are being open about this side of it. Hope that once he is born you snap back to more yourself kind of feeling. I hope everything goes well and smoothly for you! 🖤
6:14 Having had 3 pregnancies this comment about you feeling like a vessel is pretty deep and also so accurate, we literally become vessels for our unborn babies. Not saying we can’t still be ourselves but only if it’s agreeable with the little one inside of us ❤ examples: food consumption, food intolerance, eating and drinking healthy….we are vessels.
Ohhh I hear you. I was sick for about as long. Felt like I was secondary. Both of pregnancies were not pretty or joyful experiences and I never wanted to be pregnant again ever. Unlike you I dealt with alot of guilt feeling that way. So yes. It wasn't fun. I guess we all cannot be glowing rays of pregnant sunshine. That being said I AM grateful I made those 18 months of sacrifices because I love my adult children so so much. They are the best parts of my husband and myself. Thanks for sharing Lauren. May you have a safe and quick birth to a healthy baby boy.
Thank you for posting such a relatable ass video about this topic. I’m 17, almost 18 weeks pregnant and also with GD, and hearing someone just give a realistic opinion about their experience is so nice and helpful. I hope you and baby get through your delivery safe and healthy! And congrats on being a Mom! ❤️
I agree. Pregnancy is definitly different for everyone. I'm pregnant with my fourth baby, and I can honestly say each one was different. My first pregnancy was fairly moderate. I didn't have too many issues and the labor was easy. My second was the calm before the storm. The pregnancy was easy, but labor was hardest I ever had to go through. My third was the hardest pregnancy I've endured. I was sick all the time. I could never eat what I like. I had to keep my diet pretty bland. My labor wasn't too bad. It didn't get painful until the last hour. My fourth so far hasn't been that bad, but I've been experience more sickness and pain lately. You never know what you're gonna get.
You’re right that all pregnancies are different- I didn’t enjoy it either, and only had one because of it. It’s hard to describe the feeling of when you first see your baby, but it will be worth it ❤️ Thanks for sharing, wishing you and baby a healthy last month and a quick, safe delivery
Omgggg I’m so excited for you!!!! This baby is going to teach you so so so much about yourself and your emotions, and learning how to hold space and learning how to not project. Omg I’m so excited for you 💗💗💗
You know, your feeling (or lack of it) for your baby is NORMAL. We don't all have a immense and instant love for 'that thing' that we are hosting... The love for a child grow with time. We lear to know them and appreciate the person they are. We don't get in love with our babies easier than with other persons in life... Be kind with yourself... everything you feel is normal.
Whoa how did I miss this?? Everything you're saying is literally how I've felt this entire time! I def don't feel a connection yet, feels good to know I'm not alone. Thank you for your honesty 💜
Sometimes I envy people who had/have great pregnancies because mine was so shitty. But then I look at my 2-year-old and it just doesn’t matter anymore. He’s here with me now and pregnancy was what it was. It *was* worth it. But having a child later in life is definitely harder and I wish I was 10 years younger. ( I gave birth when I was 37) I hope you have an easy delivery and that you will soon get to meet your son. It will make all these past crappy months worth it.
I love your blunt honesty! We tried, we got pregnant, pregnancy is not a fun experience, feeling like a vessle for someone else, hospital+epidural, one and done! You do you!
I love your pure honesty in this video. You always just hear people talk about the magical side of being pregnant and how excited they are and all that. I've never been pregnant and don't really plan on being but I can imagine I would feel like you do lol.
We are right about the same gestationally (also started trying in June and it happened in July) but it’s my second. Your experience will probably be very different, but I also felt no connection with my first baby, and to be completely honest it took about a full year to really connect with her and fully love her. Everyone said it would happen instantly but it just…didn’t. I hated almost every second of being pregnant (even though we tried for the baby), so maybe that was connected. Fingers crossed I’ll have a connection sooner with this next baby, and that you will quickly as well!
WHAT Edit: okay, I’ve recovered. Omg congratulations. I really feel like you’ll be a great mom!! Im very happy for you. Your life has changed in the most amazing ways over the years
Haha! It’s like literally EVERYONE gave me so much ridiculous ‘baby sleeping through the night’ advice and baby ended up sleeping on me for a year - and I loved it!! XD You’ll be fine!! 💙 Also ‘bonding’ isn’t as literal as you think, it’s something that will build on you when the newborn chaos dies down. You both learn about each other together, that’s what it’s all about. Also the last two months are a BITCH!! Climbing stairs? Fuck that. You’ll probably feel so much better after the baby’s born, it surprised me how good I felt immediately after xx
I had a very similar experience to you in my pregnancy- the loss of control over my own body and losing so many of my hobbies (food, exercise, coping strategies) was challenging. I hated pregnancy but I had a great labor experience due to a wonderful epidural. I also had no connection with my baby in the womb- it was more neutral. Idk it just felt natural to me to not FORCE a connection and it was really hard to believe there was an actual baby in there, if that makes sense. I was never excited to meet the baby, I was excited to not be pregnant anymore. I know not everyone bonds with their baby right away, but for me the bond we had once he was born was the most intense strong love I have ever experienced, it’s amazing. You don’t have to connect with your baby in the womb to have that and I truly believe that forcing it will only make it harder to connect once they are here. Wish you all the best!
Per usual, your honesty is refreshing. Wishing you the best of luck with labour and delivery, you’ll be so happy to no longer have GD! It was interesting for me to hear your story as I was so young when I had my kids, I was completely naive and easily excited, I hadn’t really had time to become set in my ways as an adult yet, although I was married, I feel like I was so incredibly young to become a mum.
Wishing you all the best for the birth and that you recover fast. Take as much time as you need. We have your cook books to get inspiration from and will wait for you ;-) Big hug Lauren!
Congratulations! Everything you said, I heard from my daughter. Alien 👽, only thinking about comfort cause you are so uncomfortable, people beaming at the sight of you in public, planning for what you need in delivery, feeling alone (during Covid), having a traumatic move. Snickles wanting to lay on you and cuddle. Your focus will be for you and your baby, Lauren. Everybody else will be taking orders from you. Lol. The pure joy 🤩 will come. I will be 🙏
I’m a vegan midwife who has had 5 babies, 4 at home including twins, fully vegan. You’ve got the right attitude, it’s YOUR pregnancy. You just do you, love! You’re going to be stellar.♥️
hi. that was me with all 3 pregnancies. i didn't connect to my first and not even after i gave birth to her. the pregnancy wasn't planned and i wasn't very excited about it. I also felt bummed she was a girl (I know stupid). My labor was traumatic (and I'm a nurse) so that was not fun. Once I delivered I felt like I was a host of the baby and no one cared about my well being. It took years of therapy to get passed all my trauma. I love her. I love her sooooo much. Some of us aren't baby moms. Or toddler moms or even teenage moms. It comes when it comes. We don't talk about how hard it is from going from independent to having to take care of a human, someone we don't know. I love all my girls. each pregnancy had it's nuances. My second pregnancy was planned and I felt like people were more attentive of my needs. Still didn't feel connected to her but it came sooner than my first. This last pregnancy was unplanned and unpredicted and during a pandemic. So much sorrow from isolation but I did feel really happy to have her. She gave us a sense of life and bloom. Each one of my girls has given me something that I was missing. Some love, gentleness, patience, a kinder soul. But you're right, so much out there to prepare a mother and all it does is fuck us up and make us think we are doing it wrong. that's for the realness
Wow I had no idea you were pregnant! Literally everything you describe and talk about is how I imagine being pregnant is like and it does not sound worth it at all😅. I am 33 and have always known that I don’t want children but I’m scared that I’m going to change my mind when I’m older. I will save this video for when I’m in my late 30s and I happen to get baby fever LOL. But I know you’ll be a great mom I’ve been following you for years I love your personality and how real you are and you don’t fake being happy go lucky just for the camera. Some of us are just not like that and it’s nice to relate. Congratulations!
Congratulations! I remember when you said that you knew there was a spirit attached to you that wanted to come through. Your spiritual content is my favorite, you ignited my spiritual journey! Thank you 😊 💖.
This is the realest pregnancy video. I don’t have kids but if I did I feel like this would be the most relatable. Side note I was getting out of breath just listening lol you poor thing 💕
Wooooow! Congratulations! I really appreciate the honesty in this video. Motherhood seems so specific to each individual and there's no one way to feel. I love that women are being more open about it and that it may not be some magical experience. It could just be like "I'm pregnant 🤷🏾♀️" and that's okay. ❤
Hi Lauren! I found out when you announced it during that live stream for Eat It members before Instagram. I've been following everything on Instagram. Have a safe and healthy delivery. We really miss you, mama!
I think the best advice for first time moms is less focus on the preparing for delivery and getting tons of gear and more time preparing yourself for zero sleep, patience, maybe a mothers helper/nanny, etc. You're about to be more exhausted than you have ever been in your life running on zero sleep for about 3 months at least. Your hormones will be insane. Be prepared (especially mentally) if you can't or don't want to breastfeed (have formula/bottles there in case and know that babies don't take to all bottles and formulas). Do not feel shame if this happens and you need to use formula. Your baby will survive and thrive any which way you feed them. Also, I can recommend the baby sleep trainer Taking Cara Babies. Her online info and programs are amazing and worked for my kid.
I respect this video SO much. It's ok to be exactly who you are in this moment and being so open with your truth is something I struggle with and definitely look up to you for in this moment...sending love into the universe for you 💚
I honestly think being pregnant when you’re short is a different experience. I used to go for these hours long walks around the city with one of my friends. I was only 6 months pregnant and BARELY showing, and we only got about a block away from my house before I had to sit down because I was out of breath.
Love this realness Lauren! So many of your fears I relate to when considering becoming pregnant - and it's totally normal to not feel connected/"feel like a host"! I've been reading up a lot on EFT/"tapping" for birth and delivery and thought you might be interested - not to give you ANOTHER opinion! It's kind of in the spiritual realm and I find it so fascinating. I hope you have a good delivery and look forward to hearing your postpartum thoughts if you wish to share them :)
Congrats Lauren! I just had my second and both times I hated being pregnant and I had very easy and healthy pregnancies . It’s annoying that everyone assumes you should be happy all the time and glowing but it all sucks in my opinion. Anyways hang in there, I’m a few days once you have your baby, the last 9 months will literally be a thing of the past! Xo
So happy to hear from you, gotta be honest, I missed your "what I eat", it'll be good to watch one from your pregnancy, but not pressure, haha, tons of hugs for you guys.
Wow I completely missed that you were pregnant! Congratulations! Have a safe delivery!
Thank you!!
I totally missed it too! I was watching her trader Joe short and I was like “omg is that a baby in a carrier!?” And now here I am getting caught up! 😍
Lauren, I felt exactly like you when I was pregnant with my kid. I also had GD. I didn’t like being pregnant, I felt out of control, and that things were just “happening” to me. My kid was not planned (I have PCOS so I was told I couldn’t have children naturally) and my husband and I had tried over 7 years with no success, I had become resolved to being childless. So, I had that added to my already uncomfortable feelings. I tried to bond with my baby in the womb, but, it felt like I was faking it. When baby was born they almost died. I remember looking at everything happening and feeling very disconnected from the experience I’m sure part of that was shock. I felt bad that I wasn’t gushing and loving every moment of being pregnant like other women I knew. I wouldn’t say that I hated being pregnant, but the feeling of not being able to be in control of my own body bothered me more than I anticipated. I attributed part of my disconnection with the fact that I didn’t look pregnant until I was 8 months because of how the baby was lying in my womb. But, I have to say, when my baby was born, I remember looking at them and still feeling a bit odd. Like, I’m not sure I know you, but you’re cute and helpless, so here we go with this Mom thing. But, something happened, and I cannot explain when, and like the grinch my heart grew 3 sizes and then all I saw was the baby, lol. And now, I’m decades out of the baby stage and my “baby” is still the best thing that has ever happened to me. I say all this because they don’t tell you that sometimes the strongest bonds take a little bit of time to forge. But, I’m positive you’ll get there. Congratulations. 💜
By the way: I only had one, because yeah, one and done. Not a moment goes by where I wish I had more children.
Love being one and done 🥰
Good
I really appreciate how you are just always yourself and fully transparent .
I love that you’re so honest. I feel like people just assume that everyone loves being pregnant & those that don’t feel like they can’t openly share their feelings. Not everyone loves being pregnant & that’s ok! You’re still going to love your baby & be the best mom ❤️
I relate to this so much. When people would say “you should be grateful you’re pregnant!” I am grateful, but I’m also tired, uncomfortable, nauseated, moody and whatever else!! It’s so odd. Wishing you a fast last month of pregnancy!!
I’ve been following for years and have always loved your realness and honesty! Thank you for making this video and here’s to a healthy, quick and great delivery! As well as to you and the babe being happy and healthy 🥰
This is the most honest real pregnancy experience video I have ever seen.
Thank you Lauren for being so generous and vulnerable with your experience 💕 I’m sure it will resonate with so many people. Wishing you an easy delivery and lots of support in these final weeks 😘
Feelings are all valid. I’d be interested to hear how you feel once the baby is here and I hope you are well
Same.
I felt this 100%. I was very disconnected from my pregnancy as well. It wasn’t something I was going through, it was this thing that was happening TO me. I resisted buying baby things because I wasn’t ready for the clutter in my house. I never thought in terms of “oh my baby” or “I’m going to be a mommy”. It was just getting through the day. Even when my son was born, it wasn’t an instant connection.
As I write this, I am currently 10, almost 11 weeks postpartum, and my son is the absolute love of my life. It took time, especially since no one talks about how postpartum recovery is a B!TCH, so bonding that first month is difficult. After that is when I think we really began to bond.
appreciate you sharing xo
I truly appreciate how raw and vulnerable and REAL you are ❤️
This is why I've always followed you ... your honesty! Whether it's been about shitty tasting food or this experience which epitomizes (Lauren in) REAL LIFE. Not some romantisized social media version of pregnancy or how you were supposed to feel about it. That said I wish you a healthy baby and delivery.
thanks for being here :D xo
I felt so much appreciation for my mom after watching this. I just wanna run to her and hug her. All the very best for you, dearest Lauren ❤
🥰💚
Appreciate your authenticity. I was very sick every single day of my pregnancy. Being pregnant sucked ... but being a mom is amazing. I wish you lots of healing, and I hope the process ends on a high note with a healthy baby in your arms.
Honestly I feel like every woman goes through an identity crisis with her first pregnancy. You will feel like your old self once you’re able to get back to doing the things you physically love to do. Life with a child becomes your new normal, and creates your new identity as a mother ✨💖✨
I so remember your old vids about not having kids but life is crazy that way. Crazy seeing how much you've grown over the years. Congrats Lauren 💜
hi Lauren.
i got pregnant at 24. my partner and i were trying i guess? but i was naive to the fact that it could literally happen on the first try. so when i saw that positive pregnancy test i freaked out. i wasn’t happy and i was shocked. i spent over a month contemplating going through with the pregnancy or not. i didn’t tell anyone but my closest friends until i decided i was sticking with it. and even after deciding to go through with it, i would still question my decision every day. i was scared that once baby arrived i would deeply regret it and it would ruin my life. my pregnancy was easy so i barely felt like i had to pay attention to being pregnant. i hardly thought about it, didn’t really take any photos, didn’t announce it until a month before i gave birth. i just literally didn’t know how i felt about it the entire time. i also didn’t really feel a connection to my baby while pregnant.
as of today my baby girl, Nora, will be a year old in a couple of weeks! (i think your due date was my due date too!)
i couldn’t be more in love with my sweet girl. couldn’t imagine my life without her. i am just so glad to have her.
all this to say, i appreciate you bringing attention to how you’re feeling. not everyone is over the moon to be pregnant or feel a connection to the process. i felt so much guilt because my first reaction to finding out i was pregnant was anything but a happy feeling. people would ask me my birth plan, or if i have a doula or anything like that. and my response was that i literally had not put any thought into that. i had an OB, and new i’d be going to the hospital and getting an epidural if needed (it was).
it just feels good to know that other people go through similar experiences while pregnant because there isn’t much representation for the “unsure” mom side.
My only child is 17 and you just described my pregnancy and feelings exactly. I am excited to see you pregnant because I’ve subscribed to your channels for years and remember talk of no children. Congratulations! 😁
Dear Lauren.. I am glad to see you that you are doing well. Missed you very much! Well... I know... the pregnancy is difficult. My first pregnancy was a nightmare because I couldn't even drink water for few months. I was sad and nervous about changes, it was weird feeling that I have never felt before. However, when I saw my baby's face for the first time, I forgot all of the bad days (this is how I am having 3 kiddos lol).. pure bundle of joy! 😊 It is almost there my friend... and YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Having a child is once in a lifetime event. It is hard but try to enjoy it... we love you girl! Cannot wait to see your little peanut! Sending much love to you all! ❤
thanks a billion!
Congrats Lauren!!! As always, thank you for being so real about everything 💖
How did I miss this news!?🥰🥰 Congrats!!!!!! And wishing you a safe beautiful delivery!!
Oh Giiirrrrl! I did it three times and I so relate. What I can tell you is there is no plan. It just happens. Funny thing, I see so many people getting all this baby stuff and in the end, you truly don't use much of it. Yes, there are a few basic things but in reality you don't need it all. Do it your way and listen to what people say with a grain of salt. I bought a bassinette and crib. Did my baby ever sleep in either NO! She slept next to me and that was fine. She is now 39 and you know what..., she did the same thing with her baby.
I’m pregnant and I identify with you REAL hard. I think it’s important to know when you share your experience it’s not so much advice or saying “this is what you’ll go through” but it normalizes it. If someone identifies with even a piece of your experience it makes you feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing ❤️
“It’s not worth it” 😂 good luck Lauren! So happy for you guys ❤️
Congrats! Wishing for you a safe delivery and healthy baby 😊 Was wondering what your “epiphany” was that made you change your mind about having kids?
I had a smooth, sickness free pregnancy and did not feel the “connection” and I’m also not an easily excitable person 🤣 it can also take time to feel an intense connection to your new baby.. it’s not like the movies but more of a gradual process to the most amazing love affair of your life 💕
appreciate that xo
Thank you for sharing, loveee the honesty. I felt so similar when I was pregnant and wish that I heard more of this from other mamas to get an idea of what the experience may be like…definitely the hardest thing I’ve gone through, but so rewarding now that baby is 1 ❤️
i just screamed WHAT when i seen this. Congratulations! Regardless of this journey & the pains and the issues, you will be a wonderful mother and your baby will be beautiful in all ways🌿 Never feel guilty for what you’re doing or not doing as just be the best mom YOU can be! So excited for you 💖
Omg I haven’t checked in on your channel in like a year, I thought omg I miss Lauren Toyota. I was not expecting this, I’m so excited for you! I totally feel you about all the noise out there when looking for advice on anything. Thank you for being you!✨💖✨
Welcome back!
Thank you for giving us some of your time Lauren 🤗 You're so beautiful with a belly 🤰
I appreciate your honesty of your journey girl 😊
Alright, I started following you years ago, back in the day with your “what I eat in a day” serie. At that time I was going through a very hard mental breakdown, and your videos were like a breath of fresh air for me. I suppose youtubers often get that type of comments. Tonight I felt like coming to see what is new with you and I found out you’re pregnant...I wish you the best best best in life!! Thank you for your work.
aw wow. Thanks for sharing. Happy to make content you enjoy xo
I had a terrible pregnancy to the point where I am one and done. I completely understand exactly what you are going through. I felt like the worst hangover ever for 38 weeks straight. I lost 20 lbs while pregnant because I could keep nothing down. However, you have an amazing partner and you are going to be the best mom ever! The love you feel for your baby is an out of body experience, it's the most beautiful bond. Sending you so much 💗!
congratulations 🎉 I love how honest you are and appreciate what you've said. I've 2 boys and never felt connected to either of them especially my second until they were born. I also had bad pregnancies, pregnancy doesn't agree with me. Everything will change once they're here, your feelings will change (in my experience anyway). Take everything in your own stride, everyone has different experiences and deal with everything differently. You'll find what works for you, people can give their advice and advice of their experience but you'll figure out what works best for you.
Thank you for this video! If there’s anyone on this planet who I knew would open up, be truly honest, and share their truth about pregnancy, it’s you! So deeply appreciative of this 😌
You are so welcome
Thank you for being so real and honest! It's good for everyone to hear how it's not all magical and wonderful all the time, as many portray it to be.
Thank you for this. Never related so closely to a pregnancy story. I also felt disconnected during my pregnancy, and definitely didn’t feel a “bond” with the fetus. I’m not sure I felt excited even once during the whole process. Fast forward to now and I have a crazy weirdo little two year old running around who makes me laugh so much.
your feelings are very valid and normal, don't worry about it too much
Thank you for sharing! I appreciate how thoughtful you are in realizing everyone's journey is different/their own. I have a 5 week old (my baby came almost 4 weeks early!!!) and let me tell you that for me the birth and the early weeks with a newborn COMPLETELY eclipsed the pregnancy. Your birth and the first few weeks with your baby will be unique and something you can't quite plan for. Best of luck to you.
p.s. epidurals are awesome!!! mine worked great.
I find it so interesting how so many women have such different pregnancies. You are not the first person i heard say they feel like a shell or host to the baby. And that disassociation game is real. It’s like your brain is trying to protect you from this huge choice kind of thing. Aside from that thank you for sharing your personal experience. A lot people like to glorify pregnancy and make it seem like it’s the best and only thing a woman can do blah blah blah. Not everyone shares that you’re glowing story. And I’m glad more women are being open about this side of it.
Hope that once he is born you snap back to more yourself kind of feeling. I hope everything goes well and smoothly for you! 🖤
Love how you can make yourself laugh even with all your reservations about this experience! And soon you'll have someone new to share that with.
6:14 Having had 3 pregnancies this comment about you feeling like a vessel is pretty deep and also so accurate, we literally become vessels for our unborn babies. Not saying we can’t still be ourselves but only if it’s agreeable with the little one inside of us ❤ examples: food consumption, food intolerance, eating and drinking healthy….we are vessels.
its so nuts!
Sending positive energy to you and baby!
I felt the exact same way when I was pregnant. I didn’t connect with my daughter until a bit after she was born. Thank you for sharing your story.
Ohhh I hear you. I was sick for about as long. Felt like I was secondary. Both of pregnancies were not pretty or joyful experiences and I never wanted to be pregnant again ever. Unlike you I dealt with alot of guilt feeling that way. So yes. It wasn't fun. I guess we all cannot be glowing rays of pregnant sunshine. That being said I AM grateful I made those 18 months of sacrifices because I love my adult children so so much. They are the best parts of my husband and myself. Thanks for sharing Lauren. May you have a safe and quick birth to a healthy baby boy.
Thank you for posting such a relatable ass video about this topic. I’m 17, almost 18 weeks pregnant and also with GD, and hearing someone just give a realistic opinion about their experience is so nice and helpful. I hope you and baby get through your delivery safe and healthy! And congrats on being a Mom! ❤️
good luck to you too! xo
I'm french, Can you explain to me what GD is?
Thank you!
@@Lilabsolue : It stands for gestational diabetes!
@@HayleyCisco thanks you 🙏🏼
ahhh i miss this channel! love to hear your honest thoughts on this, congrats you two!
I agree. Pregnancy is definitly different for everyone. I'm pregnant with my fourth baby, and I can honestly say each one was different. My first pregnancy was fairly moderate. I didn't have too many issues and the labor was easy. My second was the calm before the storm. The pregnancy was easy, but labor was hardest I ever had to go through. My third was the hardest pregnancy I've endured. I was sick all the time. I could never eat what I like. I had to keep my diet pretty bland. My labor wasn't too bad. It didn't get painful until the last hour. My fourth so far hasn't been that bad, but I've been experience more sickness and pain lately. You never know what you're gonna get.
Lauren I miss you so much but I'm so glad you posted this 💗
Thank you for being so real and honest. The internet needs more of these about pregnancy!
We’ve missed you!!!! I RAN AS SOON AS I GOT NOTIFIED
You’re right that all pregnancies are different- I didn’t enjoy it either, and only had one because of it. It’s hard to describe the feeling of when you first see your baby, but it will be worth it ❤️
Thanks for sharing, wishing you and baby a healthy last month and a quick, safe delivery
it's true. Everyone tries to explain that feeling of seeing the baby when it's born, but it's impossible haha - I just hope you all are right! xo
I was so excited to see your announcement on Instagram! I am so happy for you and congratulations! 🥰
Congratulations! Thank you for the candidness. Sending you many blessings ❤️
Omgggg I’m so excited for you!!!! This baby is going to teach you so so so much about yourself and your emotions, and learning how to hold space and learning how to not project. Omg I’m so excited for you 💗💗💗
I felt the lack of connection until I heard my sons first cry
You know, your feeling (or lack of it) for your baby is NORMAL. We don't all have a immense and instant love for 'that thing' that we are hosting...
The love for a child grow with time. We lear to know them and appreciate the person they are. We don't get in love with our babies easier than with other persons in life...
Be kind with yourself... everything you feel is normal.
Whoa how did I miss this?? Everything you're saying is literally how I've felt this entire time! I def don't feel a connection yet, feels good to know I'm not alone. Thank you for your honesty 💜
Sometimes I envy people who had/have great pregnancies because mine was so shitty.
But then I look at my 2-year-old and it just doesn’t matter anymore. He’s here with me now and pregnancy was what it was. It *was* worth it.
But having a child later in life is definitely harder and I wish I was 10 years younger. ( I gave birth when I was 37)
I hope you have an easy delivery and that you will soon get to meet your son. It will make all these past crappy months worth it.
Best of luck with everything this baby will bring to your life Lauren. We love you !
I love your blunt honesty! We tried, we got pregnant, pregnancy is not a fun experience, feeling like a vessle for someone else, hospital+epidural, one and done! You do you!
I love your pure honesty in this video. You always just hear people talk about the magical side of being pregnant and how excited they are and all that. I've never been pregnant and don't really plan on being but I can imagine I would feel like you do lol.
We are right about the same gestationally (also started trying in June and it happened in July) but it’s my second. Your experience will probably be very different, but I also felt no connection with my first baby, and to be completely honest it took about a full year to really connect with her and fully love her. Everyone said it would happen instantly but it just…didn’t. I hated almost every second of being pregnant (even though we tried for the baby), so maybe that was connected. Fingers crossed I’ll have a connection sooner with this next baby, and that you will quickly as well!
Congrats! I’m 26 weeks with my first and in my late 30s, so I feel you. Good luck!
I hope you have a smooth and safe delivery!! ❤️
WHAT
Edit: okay, I’ve recovered. Omg congratulations. I really feel like you’ll be a great mom!! Im very happy for you. Your life has changed in the most amazing ways over the years
I had no idea you were pregnant! I used to follow you years ago but Im so happy for you! Congrats 🙂
Haha! It’s like literally EVERYONE gave me so much ridiculous ‘baby sleeping through the night’ advice and baby ended up sleeping on me for a year - and I loved it!! XD You’ll be fine!! 💙
Also ‘bonding’ isn’t as literal as you think, it’s something that will build on you when the newborn chaos dies down. You both learn about each other together, that’s what it’s all about.
Also the last two months are a BITCH!! Climbing stairs? Fuck that. You’ll probably feel so much better after the baby’s born, it surprised me how good I felt immediately after xx
cant wait!!!!
I had a very similar experience to you in my pregnancy- the loss of control over my own body and losing so many of my hobbies (food, exercise, coping strategies) was challenging. I hated pregnancy but I had a great labor experience due to a wonderful epidural. I also had no connection with my baby in the womb- it was more neutral. Idk it just felt natural to me to not FORCE a connection and it was really hard to believe there was an actual baby in there, if that makes sense. I was never excited to meet the baby, I was excited to not be pregnant anymore. I know not everyone bonds with their baby right away, but for me the bond we had once he was born was the most intense strong love I have ever experienced, it’s amazing. You don’t have to connect with your baby in the womb to have that and I truly believe that forcing it will only make it harder to connect once they are here. Wish you all the best!
Per usual, your honesty is refreshing. Wishing you the best of luck with labour and delivery, you’ll be so happy to no longer have GD! It was interesting for me to hear your story as I was so young when I had my kids, I was completely naive and easily excited, I hadn’t really had time to become set in my ways as an adult yet, although I was married, I feel like I was so incredibly young to become a mum.
Wishing you all the best for the birth and that you recover fast. Take as much time as you need. We have your cook books to get inspiration from and will wait for you ;-) Big hug Lauren!
Thank you so much!
Woah congratulations!! Greatest update ever!
Congratulations! Everything you said, I heard from my daughter. Alien 👽, only thinking about comfort cause you are so uncomfortable, people beaming at the sight of you in public, planning for what you need in delivery, feeling alone (during Covid), having a traumatic move. Snickles wanting to lay on you and cuddle. Your focus will be for you and your baby, Lauren. Everybody else will be taking orders from you. Lol. The pure joy 🤩 will come. I will be 🙏
I love you. I am SO grateful you made this video and shared this experience. 💝
Thank you for talking about the out of body experience! I haven’t heard anyone else say this and it’s how feel
so alien!
Congratulations! I didn’t get excited until I could hold my babies.
Can’t wait to see you making homemade vegan baby food!!
Love your honesty!!
I didn’t know you were pregnant. Congratulations and wishing you the best!
love you lauren!! hope you have a really safe delivery
I’m a vegan midwife who has had 5 babies, 4 at home including twins, fully vegan. You’ve got the right attitude, it’s YOUR pregnancy. You just do you, love! You’re going to be stellar.♥️
Yes! Thank you!
Wow! Congratulations Lauren so much is changing. I feel you on the nausea I was throwing up all the way till delivery. I am so happy for you!
hi. that was me with all 3 pregnancies. i didn't connect to my first and not even after i gave birth to her. the pregnancy wasn't planned and i wasn't very excited about it. I also felt bummed she was a girl (I know stupid). My labor was traumatic (and I'm a nurse) so that was not fun. Once I delivered I felt like I was a host of the baby and no one cared about my well being. It took years of therapy to get passed all my trauma. I love her. I love her sooooo much. Some of us aren't baby moms. Or toddler moms or even teenage moms. It comes when it comes. We don't talk about how hard it is from going from independent to having to take care of a human, someone we don't know. I love all my girls. each pregnancy had it's nuances. My second pregnancy was planned and I felt like people were more attentive of my needs. Still didn't feel connected to her but it came sooner than my first. This last pregnancy was unplanned and unpredicted and during a pandemic. So much sorrow from isolation but I did feel really happy to have her. She gave us a sense of life and bloom.
Each one of my girls has given me something that I was missing. Some love, gentleness, patience, a kinder soul. But you're right, so much out there to prepare a mother and all it does is fuck us up and make us think we are doing it wrong. that's for the realness
Wow I had no idea you were pregnant! Literally everything you describe and talk about is how I imagine being pregnant is like and it does not sound worth it at all😅. I am 33 and have always known that I don’t want children but I’m scared that I’m going to change my mind when I’m older.
I will save this video for when I’m in my late 30s and I happen to get baby fever LOL. But I know you’ll be a great mom I’ve been following you for years I love your personality and how real you are and you don’t fake being happy go lucky just for the camera. Some of us are just not like that and it’s nice to relate. Congratulations!
save it yes! haha I changed my mind at 38
Congratulations! I remember when you said that you knew there was a spirit attached to you that wanted to come through. Your spiritual content is my favorite, you ignited my spiritual journey! Thank you 😊 💖.
Lol - same, you just took me right back to when I was pregnant. It’s funny you forget all the crap once the babies born.
This is the realest pregnancy video. I don’t have kids but if I did I feel like this would be the most relatable. Side note I was getting out of breath just listening lol you poor thing 💕
hhaaha I know it's so hard lol
Really appreciate the rawness of this
Wooooow! Congratulations! I really appreciate the honesty in this video. Motherhood seems so specific to each individual and there's no one way to feel. I love that women are being more open about it and that it may not be some magical experience. It could just be like "I'm pregnant 🤷🏾♀️" and that's okay. ❤
Hi Lauren! I found out when you announced it during that live stream for Eat It members before Instagram. I've been following everything on Instagram. Have a safe and healthy delivery. We really miss you, mama!
I think the best advice for first time moms is less focus on the preparing for delivery and getting tons of gear and more time preparing yourself for zero sleep, patience, maybe a mothers helper/nanny, etc. You're about to be more exhausted than you have ever been in your life running on zero sleep for about 3 months at least. Your hormones will be insane. Be prepared (especially mentally) if you can't or don't want to breastfeed (have formula/bottles there in case and know that babies don't take to all bottles and formulas). Do not feel shame if this happens and you need to use formula. Your baby will survive and thrive any which way you feed them. Also, I can recommend the baby sleep trainer Taking Cara Babies. Her online info and programs are amazing and worked for my kid.
Having a companion pet and a baby. Wonderful!
I hope you have an easier and healthy rest of your pregnancy and a safe delivery!
I respect this video SO much. It's ok to be exactly who you are in this moment and being so open with your truth is something I struggle with and definitely look up to you for in this moment...sending love into the universe for you 💚
I honestly think being pregnant when you’re short is a different experience. I used to go for these hours long walks around the city with one of my friends. I was only 6 months pregnant and BARELY showing, and we only got about a block away from my house before I had to sit down because I was out of breath.
Omg I’m so happy for you😭I followed you since forever! And got busy and I just saw you from hotforfood then your carrying a baby.💕sending hugs !
😍 thank you!
Love this realness Lauren! So many of your fears I relate to when considering becoming pregnant - and it's totally normal to not feel connected/"feel like a host"! I've been reading up a lot on EFT/"tapping" for birth and delivery and thought you might be interested - not to give you ANOTHER opinion! It's kind of in the spiritual realm and I find it so fascinating. I hope you have a good delivery and look forward to hearing your postpartum thoughts if you wish to share them :)
Congrats Lauren! I just had my second and both times I hated being pregnant and I had very easy and healthy pregnancies . It’s annoying that everyone assumes you should be happy all the time and glowing but it all sucks in my opinion. Anyways hang in there, I’m a few days once you have your baby, the last 9 months will literally be a thing of the past! Xo
So happy to hear from you, gotta be honest, I missed your "what I eat", it'll be good to watch one from your pregnancy, but not pressure, haha, tons of hugs for you guys.
You are a GREAT thing. Congrats and have a smooth delivery. You will do well! Love to you.
Thanks for sharing! Super interesting. Appreciate your candidness.