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My Journey With Mental Illness and Healing It | Trauma, Depression, Psychosis |
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- Опубліковано 9 жов 2017
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If you are struggling with making sense of a disturbing experience, be it psychedelic or otherwise and need support, or would like to just get some support and info for an upcoming experience. You can schedule a private skype call with me.
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In honour of World Mental Health Day and the #letstalk movement, here is a story about my journey with mental illness.
I'm really getting a lot out of your videos man. I've been addicted to marijuana all my adult life and an alcoholic. I've just recently been getting sober and it's been a struggle, and brought out many built up emotions. It's like I'm having to learn how to live again. I've found a little relief in microdosing once weekly. Keep up the good work man.
Thanks, Lynn. It's great to hear you are coming back into your power again. You got this. :)
lynn sparks How you doing now? I'm off pot and alcohol 100 days and finding it very tough.
"Intellectualism is my defense mechanism." Sums up most of us academics!
Love the candid tone and honesty here James. Very interesting
-Jarrod
Thanks Jarrod
So is no one else just not dieing of laughter after he explained his cousin then his grandpa who chased his mother with a butcher knife , I came searching for a video because I put insane anxiety onto my life and every time I trip I have a traumatic experience, and it’s all mindset but am not mentally strong enough, and me right here is literally why I can’t trip like , I experienced ego death 9 months ago on lsd and I haven’t been the same , I feel like literally a different life I am living , I had to change everything in my life to just except that it was my new life , because it really felt like the end of me ,and I didn’t want to take on this new , it was insane I can’t even try to comprehend it again but I’m mentally insane , always put it away but on my own I cry , I break , I fall, like and I feel so ashamed in the fact I am , I didn’t grow up with my dad because he was an alcoholic and I let that effect me as well , also my relationship with my mother who I currently live with I completely disrespected her after my trip 9 months ago and still do and just I feel horrible but I feel so convicted, I had to drop out of high school 10th grade because I could not look at anyone in school , every class I had my head down and idk how but every class I started in that first week of that year I didn’t know anyone in the classes but I still felt ashamed and like just that I was not right and I wasn’t the same I wasn’t Camden , my counsellor at the highschool I would run to every class because I would be having overwhelming anxiety, I would just breathe heavily and be trying to talk and could barely speak a word , just speak about my sorrow when I could get it out , like my dad , and I couldn’t explain to them about the psychedelic experience that was the worst part is in here today 9 months later and I don’t have medical help and I don’t know if I need it , I smoke every day and I am mentally addicted, and have been smoking without a break for 1 year at least ,but like my life is in the shitter , my mentality and my life I try to life the best I can , I tried shrooms 3 grams about a month ago and went to the skate park , and literally got ong 3x better at skating just saying but I lead myself into a challenging trip , and it is just all myself mentally I let myself do it , but it just goes down a spiral and it seems like there is not way to just stop it like seriously I can’t go back to enjoying what I’m experiencing, and lt started when my boy chipped my board and I didn’t say anything because ik he didn’t mean to , but I just he had fucked me over a lot the homie I was with but like idk it just he was the same kid that was with my during my first lsd trip when I experienced ego death , he was there that night but went to sleep ong as soon as we popped the tabs and told me to wake him up he was tired , but so at the park 9 months later no one really knows my head is to shit but , at the park I go down a loop hole and I saw crazy visuals tho , like an archtype potentialy , as a snake on the ground like on nice cement skate park material was a beautiful perfect interlooping intertwining snake all over the ground there , was my craziest one but later went into the darkness , like it just I just during the trip I will just relax and then I’m my sober mind I think about my negatives a lot, and usually on the tripping the negatives are not there at all and it’s almost like If they were there I don’t give a fuck about it kinda shit , but this is like all my negatives is the only thing I’m worried about is how I’m realizing it now , and it’s panicking, and then I just think about the fact of my dad , lol like it’s always that like it’s funny asf but I still let it hurt. Me to that level like I just feel like I could see a fucking jerk making fun of me , but then I see that as me like judge myself in every situation,so like I know there’s way to mentally get your mind right but I don’t really know how , when I try to go without weed I do get like a insane anxiety like life ending in the mornings
Sorry about the beginning of this I was commenting on another video, but I do want to see what you have to say about my mentality like , I’m sure it is a similar situation with some one like with being psychosis , bipolar depression, anxiety whatever
I went through this as well. Almost exactly in the same order. Also went the externalization stage. But never sought help from a therapist as I figured that with time the answered would come to me. I also met some friends and my wife who were all very supportive, so maybe thats why I didn't seek a therapist... Should do some research in the rise of depression and suburbanization. Really interesting revelation for me to realize that we all mentally ill (each one of has some aspect of our personality that is out of balance). Depending on our spiritual maturity and the relative truth of our worldview (how deluded and egotistical we) we'll likely express any variety of personality neuroticism. I think it comes down to the face that as the first world societies become every more homogenous and demanding we all psychologically become more and more stressed.
Yeah, modern society fundamentally traumatizes us as an extension of the normative childrearing practices and general social values conditioned into us. I did an interview with someone about this:
ua-cam.com/video/aCyWMRhMlV0/v-deo.html