Signs You're Afraid of Intimacy

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  • Опубліковано 31 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,6 тис.

  • @yayarivera949
    @yayarivera949 6 років тому +8927

    “Stop sabotaging your love life” I sabotage my entire life

    • @alexiscollins8967
      @alexiscollins8967 5 років тому +15

      Same

    • @Puppy_Puppington
      @Puppy_Puppington 5 років тому +4

      Ikr

    • @edyo6190
      @edyo6190 5 років тому +10

      Same, ha
      Haha
      Hahaha
      I love everyone else, though. Have a nice day, bye!

    • @mog7607
      @mog7607 5 років тому +39

      this is me but even when people try and be friends and then in my head im like wHY do U WANT TO haNG oUt WiTH mE??

    • @marmarino2070
      @marmarino2070 5 років тому +2

      Jep sounds like me. What a club.

  • @1CTProj3ct5
    @1CTProj3ct5 6 років тому +10659

    Anna - paying for therapy, so we don't have to 😂

    • @lumossk3657
      @lumossk3657 5 років тому +89

      this is depressingly true

    • @SO-fj8xz
      @SO-fj8xz 5 років тому +21

      our jesus

    • @CB-ie8gb
      @CB-ie8gb 5 років тому +67

      it's like that one person that always pays netflix

    • @YumixNightmare
      @YumixNightmare 5 років тому +3

      bless

    • @lumossk3657
      @lumossk3657 5 років тому +7

      @Gytis Stankevičius The depressing part is that I can't afford those and have to put up with video's on UA-cam

  • @anonymousmeraki4904
    @anonymousmeraki4904 6 років тому +6593

    anna is the therapist, life coach, and dating coach i can't afford.

    • @saionjisan
      @saionjisan 6 років тому +82

      Plus the long distance friend we all need :D

    • @user-ub6sx9zc3m
      @user-ub6sx9zc3m 6 років тому +28

      Right? I didn't even know I needed this, but it speaks to my soul

    • @FerSpada
      @FerSpada 6 років тому +1

      Anna is very weird, soo........ Get a real one .......pleeeeeeease

    • @infectedcontactlensyes.5172
      @infectedcontactlensyes.5172 6 років тому

      Agreed!

    • @ziweiyuan
      @ziweiyuan 5 років тому +1

      With a side order of thirst trap.

  • @gamania122
    @gamania122 5 років тому +4690

    You are in love with the idea of being in love, not love.

  • @me9072
    @me9072 5 років тому +5268

    “The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”

    • @KK-wx1fw
      @KK-wx1fw 5 років тому +342

      Unless you have an anxious attachment style

    • @badwolf3080
      @badwolf3080 5 років тому +61

      I have...both, kinda.

    • @scottandrewhutchins
      @scottandrewhutchins 4 роки тому +28

      Then I guess my crush might be the one, even though we're not dating.

    • @later5117
      @later5117 4 роки тому +22

      I did find one like that but I'm pretty sure I screwed up my shot lol

    • @smooth_Koala
      @smooth_Koala 4 роки тому +35

      This gives me a whole new perspective

  • @sghost128
    @sghost128 6 років тому +4109

    “If I’m not suffering I must not be in love.”
    I’m glad we are on the same page.

  • @thedifferent14
    @thedifferent14 6 років тому +2795

    I'm so afraid of dating, I actually panic whenever someone expresses interest in me.

    • @lostconnections6265
      @lostconnections6265 4 роки тому +64

      this is me, I don’t really know what’s wronggg

    • @boredshrimp9425
      @boredshrimp9425 4 роки тому +59

      @Clinton Reisig this comment is so funny idk why 😂😭💀 I hope you find the one bro

    • @LockandLaugh
      @LockandLaugh 4 роки тому +23

      @Clinton Reisig I love me a fat booty tho

    • @unoriginal1086
      @unoriginal1086 4 роки тому +174

      @Clinton Reisig yeah I see why you're single. women wont date you if you objectify them.

    • @hannajarvis9639
      @hannajarvis9639 4 роки тому +43

      thedifferent14 happening to me right now, i feel like he likes me but i’m too scared to actually be in a relationship that i’m scared to tell him

  • @chrisjfox8715
    @chrisjfox8715 6 років тому +13293

    The kinda girl that likes a guy until she finds out that he likes her too.

    • @welovemusic8542
      @welovemusic8542 6 років тому +328

      😂😂😂😂 AHAHAHA I LOVE THIS....I HOPE MY CRUSH DOESN'T SEE THIS CAUSE IF HE DOES "HIS" SELF WORTH IS GOING DOWN LOL

    • @grapevjne446
      @grapevjne446 6 років тому +110

      Mylife.

    • @manailadaiana2717
      @manailadaiana2717 5 років тому +63

      Me... I'm here 🙃

    • @maivyn1009
      @maivyn1009 5 років тому +51

      🤔 I think your a lithromantic

    • @Isow261
      @Isow261 5 років тому +93

      Can’t relate. No one likes me

  • @baekhyunschopsticks6763
    @baekhyunschopsticks6763 5 років тому +4855

    1:26
    Anna: “this stems from...”
    Me: Childhood Trauma!
    Anna: “Lack of self-worth!”
    🙃

    • @n.fer.2596
      @n.fer.2596 5 років тому +232

      Baekhyun’s Chopsticks I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

    • @maritomoko4915
      @maritomoko4915 5 років тому +17

      @@n.fer.2596 Me too

    • @michaelzzaki
      @michaelzzaki 5 років тому +66

      Definitely both!

    • @GAmerJUM
      @GAmerJUM 5 років тому +9

      Ye had the exact same thang xD

    • @naninuna7440
      @naninuna7440 5 років тому +1

      Jfc trueeee

  • @clashsmchitcle7291
    @clashsmchitcle7291 5 років тому +2342

    I like someone and once they like me back i dont like them anymore

    • @olivier3164
      @olivier3164 5 років тому +71

      Wtf is wrong with u

    • @hamdanmubin2639
      @hamdanmubin2639 5 років тому +40

      Sameeee damn whts wrong with me 😥

    • @QwertyQwerty-eq7th
      @QwertyQwerty-eq7th 5 років тому +6

      Me tooooo

    • @evestears
      @evestears 5 років тому +9

      Why is this me

    • @theworldisimmense
      @theworldisimmense 5 років тому +37

      Clash Smchitcle and that’s why you will end up with 10 cats sweetie. Go see a therapist

  • @lalaumaaa
    @lalaumaaa 6 років тому +4286

    i always feel uncomfortable when someone compliments me as if i don't deserve it but yeah this is it this is why

    • @nienkeachternaam2938
      @nienkeachternaam2938 6 років тому +7

      Same!

    • @Queef_Storm
      @Queef_Storm 6 років тому +6

      me too

    • @Fandomswillxcollide
      @Fandomswillxcollide 6 років тому +133

      lalauma lmao I don’t know how to respond. Cause I don’t agree with them 😂
      “You look pretty.”
      “Oh look, a tree.”

    • @Niki91-HR
      @Niki91-HR 6 років тому +61

      I have the same problem.
      Well if friends tell me something nice it is not that bad...but it is also different.... but when strangers give a compliment ( it doesnt even matter if it is a girl or a guy) it feels very strange....but especially when guys tell it. Idk ...I always feel like they are lying....

    • @lovis1188
      @lovis1188 5 років тому +8

      i dont know if its a girl think to get compliments, but i cant remember getting a compliment by anyone im not related to.
      (I did have a relationship once, but that was when i was 14 and she was my childhood friend.

  • @zaptolite2719
    @zaptolite2719 6 років тому +5023

    You made me self aware of how i can sometimes be weirded out by love so thank you

    • @TheDutchharpist
      @TheDutchharpist 6 років тому +3

      of course, Anna is talking about her own case and problems, while yours might be totally different. Might be a good thing to look into :)
      But thanks Anna for making me feel less weird again. I can tick a few boxes there, and also as a serial monogamist I never considered myself to be afraid of real human connection, but I learned last year that I do. I'm doing better now, and you will too!

    • @angiew1232
      @angiew1232 6 років тому

      same

    • @NYCPrivateParty
      @NYCPrivateParty 5 років тому

      Your reply was honest and courageous. Thank you for sharing it with everyone.

    • @JonathanPaspula
      @JonathanPaspula 5 років тому +2

      @@pixie_laluna I think it's the same for me. I'm not necessarily AFRAID of intimacy, but I don't want it right now. I want to advance my life and become someone with financial independence, an advancing career, more maturity, etc. I'm also pretty young (17) and so I'm living underneath my parents roof still. I'm not so afraid as I am just knowing it's not the right time

    • @leventeberry5050
      @leventeberry5050 5 років тому

      Jonathan Paspula I just only wish I had as much insight as you do at your age. I use too but as I got older I ignored life as a whole. Just never loose focus of your goal. I’m 25 and just now figuring this all out!

  • @LordBloodraven
    @LordBloodraven 6 років тому +2248

    My sister's first good boyfriend was a classmate named Elliot and he was *perfect.* My parents saw it. Her friends saw it. I saw it (and as a younger brother, I should have been to sabotage him).
    When she broke up with him, he didn't get mad or clingy. He said "I hope you fall in love with someone who sees you for the incredible woman you are."
    I base my relationship decisions on this question: "What would Elliot think if I did this?"

    • @primecreator5257
      @primecreator5257 6 років тому +358

      DarkLight523 that dude will go far in life. You too.
      Not sure about your sister tho.

    • @athirahauji9235
      @athirahauji9235 6 років тому +73

      That dude is perfect. I still remember my ex being kinda clingy in a way? He was like 'Plz tell me why I don't deserve u and vice versa??'
      I clearly told him I didn't want anything to do with him after.

    • @Norma-Zita
      @Norma-Zita 6 років тому +206

      Is Elliot single ?👀

    • @AzazelHash281
      @AzazelHash281 6 років тому +111

      Elliot sounds like dat boi where is he at I want to befriend him

    • @laramenke
      @laramenke 6 років тому +45

      That's really sweet

  • @willbyers_clizzy
    @willbyers_clizzy 4 роки тому +727

    "feeling bored when the other person does everything right" I feel very attacked

  • @ladysnake8449
    @ladysnake8449 4 роки тому +382

    The smartest choice to ever make when it comes to relationships, have a friendship FIRST!

    • @blastorange2460
      @blastorange2460 4 роки тому +19

      @Lady snake84 that is how you get put in the friend zone.

    • @gingermaniac5484
      @gingermaniac5484 4 роки тому +46

      Not necessarily, the friendzone is fake in the sense that the rules state that if you where not friends or if you tried earlier they’d be into you when that just isn’t the case. If they would like you in that way they already would.
      Both people need to be interested to have a relationship my dude

    • @UnicornrU
      @UnicornrU 3 роки тому +10

      Doesn't work for everyone. Personally if I don't sleep with a girl soon enough, I slowly start to see her more and more as a sister and eventually lose my sexual desire for her.

  • @ianmortensen1844
    @ianmortensen1844 6 років тому +1503

    I'm afraid of intimacy because I'm 23 and have never had a relationship, and I feel like I'm the only clueless one when everybody else at least kinda knows what they're doing.

    • @moltenkitty7157
      @moltenkitty7157 6 років тому +122

      I feel you

    • @zaboomafooba
      @zaboomafooba 6 років тому +91

      right there with you! also clueless and 23

    • @Palangkikay
      @Palangkikay 6 років тому +116

      We should make a club

    • @ianmortensen1844
      @ianmortensen1844 6 років тому +65

      @@Palangkikay We should probably make our own dating site.

    • @pareek8957
      @pareek8957 6 років тому +25

      @Bekah L. so true! I've been dating since I was 16 (I'm 25 now) and I honestly still have no idea what I'm doing!! Time to focus on family, friends and hobbies! :DDD

  • @andrewmerrill3697
    @andrewmerrill3697 6 років тому +2017

    HER STORY DOES NOT ONLY APPLY TO WOMEN. HER STORIES HELP US GUYS TOO!

    • @Greg3070
      @Greg3070 5 років тому +101

      I think people don't understand that many men can hide this feeling. I know I can, everyone thinks I'm normal and just haven't "found" the right one. They have no idea I have terrible anxiety at the prospect of begining a relationship. Boys have some terrible childhoods too.

    • @starcherry6814
      @starcherry6814 5 років тому +35

      You damn right. I was dating a guy that I now realise was afraid of intimacy.
      He absolutely broke my heart, I kept asking him what I did wrong and he only said he didn't know.
      Beware the people that afraid of intimacy, they will break your heart

    • @Greg3070
      @Greg3070 5 років тому +26

      @@starcherry6814 unless you find one who wants to work through it. But if you insult him for it or otherwise react like the one who hurt him early in life (usually Mama) he will flee like an abused cat at an open door.

    • @tobiaspowell4516
      @tobiaspowell4516 5 років тому +6

      Thats why you date for years then youre engaged for years. Not only to confirm loyalty but for these intamacy things. Old fashioned works.

    • @q.4975
      @q.4975 4 роки тому +2

      Gregory Peterson this right here i feel you man i only got like 2/3 girlfriends from online dating i AM terified of girls i font know why

  • @renavilla5974
    @renavilla5974 6 років тому +911

    I gradually gasped louder with each of the 6 points, I'm shook

    • @kohlinoor
      @kohlinoor 5 років тому +36

      SAME. The level to which I felt personally attacked was too damn high.

    • @rosealldays
      @rosealldays 3 роки тому

      Right!

  • @bima3037
    @bima3037 6 років тому +1432

    this person text me goodmornings and say nice things to me, admitted that he was flirting with me, and i was like 'hold on, okay, but this is too much...'
    i think im afraid of intimacy too

    • @ClassicAlberto
      @ClassicAlberto 5 років тому +41

      For all the girls in her situation:
      You are all healthy women, you are attracted to men that dont care about you because that is a sign of high status in males (Since means abundance in female options to mate), evolution puts "the challange" that if you can change his attitude you will be rewarded with an upgrade in your social status and multiply your chances of survival, both of you and your offspring.
      Men know this and play along because we are designed to have as much sex with different women as we can (Again, this is a sign of a healthy male)
      That is why you dont feel attracted to a male that makes "everything right", since that is a sign that you (female) are not upgrading your social status.
      In more simple words, "bad guys" are the real price in evolution, you like them because you have everything right in your instinct, unfortunatelly for you, nature and evolution couldnt care less about your happiness or your long term mental health, and that is why antidepressants are becoming a trend in women, if a man treats you well you cant be aroused, you could settle down with him, but always feeling like he is inferior to you, or you could remain single and eventually your fertility will go away and with it your chances of getting a high status male.
      In the past, your grandma knew this and it was her duty to force you to not make this "mistake" (Is not really a mistake since is nature), and the way they did it is by arranging marriages and not letting women "sleep around". In our times, thanks to the sexual revolution we are all free and left alone with nature/instincts.
      This trait of human nature has been explained in all cultures, even in modern times in popular shows such as Seinfeld
      ua-cam.com/video/0UXR8444n8c/v-deo.html

    • @whydoimevenhere
      @whydoimevenhere 5 років тому +1

      Haha

    • @hannahrheenaduldulao3912
      @hannahrheenaduldulao3912 4 роки тому +13

      Omg same! I get shock and confuse when i get "goodmorning" texts so I back away and dont reply

    • @miaperez7455
      @miaperez7455 4 роки тому +29

      I literally just friend-zoned a guy who liked me and I liked him because he was being sweet all the time and I thought it was too much and weird.😂

    • @kobirdie5939
      @kobirdie5939 4 роки тому +1

      @@ClassicAlberto interesting.... and do you know this applies to asexuality? Or the LGBTQ community in general? Perhaps even same sex couples? 😯🤔

  • @kyiatruong
    @kyiatruong 6 років тому +388

    I felt those arrows on a different level

  • @a.alexander9221
    @a.alexander9221 6 років тому +1466

    In the past couple of months, I realized that I have never told a guy “ I like you”. I’ve liked guys, but I’ve actually never said the words. Don’t know if that’s a fear of intimacy or rejection. In the future, I hope to actually tell a guy that as long as I really mean it

    • @renatamarques8610
      @renatamarques8610 6 років тому +52

      same. i always thought it was fear of rejection, but didn't know i also had fear of being intimate with someone else. good to know, i guess...

    • @puteribalqis1925
      @puteribalqis1925 6 років тому

      Same

    • @LazuritiumStargrave
      @LazuritiumStargrave 6 років тому

      Good luck!

    • @olgar4157
      @olgar4157 6 років тому +27

      Same thing, but with me it's definitely fear of rejection. No idea where it came from, but it's kinda there.

    • @a.alexander9221
      @a.alexander9221 6 років тому

      Ethereal Dinamo Thank you!

  • @isa0ber
    @isa0ber 6 років тому +455

    i'm well aware i'm afraid of intimacy and i'm damn good at rationalizing my self sabotage

    • @jclyntoledo
      @jclyntoledo 6 років тому +5

      New best friend lol

    • @danikasan7308
      @danikasan7308 6 років тому +37

      “i’m damn good at rationalizing my self sabotage” the truest damn thing i’ve ever heard in my entire life

    • @ForeverFashionGirl21
      @ForeverFashionGirl21 6 років тому +7

      can we bond over our intimacy issues? but like in a non intimate way of course.

    • @ozzietv3044
      @ozzietv3044 5 років тому

      @@ForeverFashionGirl21 yes definitely

  • @amayaaries
    @amayaaries 6 років тому +1315

    I already know I’m afraid of intimacy🙃 DONT TOUCH ME I HAVE DAD ISSUES

    • @kassandrazuber5720
      @kassandrazuber5720 6 років тому +5

      Amaya The Otaku I feel the exact same

    • @TortoisePig
      @TortoisePig 6 років тому +23

      I don’t have a dad so does that mean I have dad issues too?

    • @Adventurous-Emma
      @Adventurous-Emma 6 років тому +31

      I've literally loudly announced my dad issues at parties so no one gets the wrong idea

    • @korisoli1497
      @korisoli1497 6 років тому

      Big mood.

    • @lead.m4579
      @lead.m4579 6 років тому +1

      ME TOOOO

  • @loquaciousvi4138
    @loquaciousvi4138 6 років тому +452

    this is where I struggle - I used to think there needed to be a spark on the first date, then I tried "well, maybe it takes time to build chemistry" and subsequently went on 2-3 really tedious dates following the first one. And now I have no idea. My current baseline is I need to look forward to a date with someone *at least* as much as I'd look forward to hanging out with a platonic friend.

    • @CrummyVCR
      @CrummyVCR 5 років тому +5

      Thats the magic mixture !!! : )
      So I hear.

    • @bannappleblonde
      @bannappleblonde 4 роки тому +12

      Clinton Reisig go back to 4chan

    • @bolas5838
      @bolas5838 4 роки тому +2

      @Clinton Reisig sexist much?

    • @cynnimini2650
      @cynnimini2650 4 роки тому +1

      That is actually really good advice... thank you!

    • @FixMeThisTime
      @FixMeThisTime 3 роки тому

      @@bolas5838 wait who?

  • @hu4ngming
    @hu4ngming 5 років тому +134

    Pain, abandonment, longing, tension and anxiety. Got that. Thanks.

  • @JuliaMarieH
    @JuliaMarieH 6 років тому +1434

    I’m afraid of intimacy because if I get into a serious relationship I’ll get married and then realize 30 years later that I’m bored or they’ve changed or they’re not who I thought they were and I’ll have an empty relationship based only on routine and obligation and I wasted my life being unhappy because I’m committed to this person I don’t really want to be with anymore but I’m scared to leave them because I’d lose the stability and comfort that my marriage gives me... no that’s not because my parents (and basically every other adult couple I knew growing up) never showed love to each other and eventually got divorced what are u talking about

    • @Haruki_chan
      @Haruki_chan 6 років тому +8

      Same

    • @LerobotZ
      @LerobotZ 6 років тому +90

      Soo why do you think you have to marry someone? Ever thought about just going with the flow? Marriage is a very old concept. In my opinion it seems very unpractical in our modern society. Just don't do it, if you don't want to

    • @maddwitch
      @maddwitch 6 років тому +26

      LerobotZ While I agree that no one should get married if it's not their thing, marriage, secularly speaking, is a legal contract that grants you certain rights that would otherwise require their own separate legal contracts. Then there are the insurance and tax benefits.

    • @JuliaMarieH
      @JuliaMarieH 6 років тому +88

      first last I literally just wrote a novel about how I was terrified of getting caught in a failing marriage and you still say that women just get married so they can get cool stuff in a divorce? Maybe some women do but wow, thats next level insensitive

    • @dragonswordmountain2908
      @dragonswordmountain2908 6 років тому +12

      +Julia Homola Whoa...i'm a guy and i agree with all you said...girls do have this fear as well, interesting.

  • @christianaal.9761
    @christianaal.9761 6 років тому +962

    Is it too sad that I think that the only person who truly understands me is a youtuber I don't even know?

    • @rayoflight7416
      @rayoflight7416 6 років тому +33

      nah the feelings and struggles you have are just relatable to a wide audience, Anna is the is the one speaking about it but you could go on the street, talk to anyone and they'd feel the same way.
      maybe talk more about your feelings with your friends and family, I'm sure you're just staying quiet

    • @smellicat
      @smellicat 6 років тому

      Dude. Same.

    • @CGoliday1
      @CGoliday1 6 років тому

      Right

    • @FrazerKirkman
      @FrazerKirkman 6 років тому +5

      I really hope this encourages you to open up to the people inn your life who you feel might be most thoughtful.

    • @AzazelHash281
      @AzazelHash281 6 років тому +1

      Honestly yes because there’s someone out there experiencing something similar
      But it does not take away from what you are experiencing only you can understand that it isn’t something a person cannot get past

  • @Lag22987
    @Lag22987 6 років тому +393

    Building a friendship is something I'm open to do versus immediate relationship

    • @LeratoM98
      @LeratoM98 5 років тому +35

      Yeah, I think it really is the wisest thing to do. That's why so many relationships are failing imo-peoe don't get to really know each other first on a friendship level. Because when they jump straight into romance, the lines become blurred with all the hormones that get involved. Hence, why so many married couples obviously start out in love, love each other...but further down the line, can't stand one another, because they don't actually LIKE one another 100%.

    • @ashleyadam955
      @ashleyadam955 4 роки тому +5

      100% open to building a friendship vs a relationship as well

    • @noeliaurquizo4620
      @noeliaurquizo4620 4 роки тому

      same

    • @black_whitechick6554
      @black_whitechick6554 4 роки тому

      Same that’s how all my relationships were

  • @Rosalindxxxxxx
    @Rosalindxxxxxx 6 років тому +275

    what if you have been working on self worth and compassion so much so that you came to love yourself and find your worth, you feel comfortable alone and ready to date, but as soon as you go and meet someone and they show interest you get turned off? I know I deserve to be loved, but I still am uncomfortable with intimacy. HELP. I had a massive crush on this guy and he was unavailable. Now he showed interest and I'm like "boy, bye."

    • @gos6666
      @gos6666 5 років тому +32

      Wow..You have no idea how much I just related to this😂😂

    • @runway5338
      @runway5338 5 років тому +4

      This was mentioned in other comments, but look up lithromantic. There's also frayromantic, but that doesn't sound like your case.

    • @pinaypie4
      @pinaypie4 5 років тому +17

      I guess the fact that you’re seeing someone and you’re getting turn off after they showed their affection, you’re just thinking a lot of things or paranoid about it , it’s takes time to get there . Just try and date that person with no rush , I’ve been there it’s takes to get comfortable.

    • @blastorange2460
      @blastorange2460 4 роки тому +1

      @The Absolute Madman wrong

    • @jenrhemgotcha1417
      @jenrhemgotcha1417 4 роки тому +2

      When flirting goes too far🙄

  • @Maria-fm5no
    @Maria-fm5no 5 років тому +180

    I have every single symptom you said! And have realised I have commitment issues. And I have never been in a relationship. Plus I am very independent and dont want to be with people all the time. Especially the same person again and again..

  • @Pinayzonfire
    @Pinayzonfire 6 років тому +146

    “feeling bored when the other person does everything right” wow why are you being so loud 😭

  • @LaGuardiaCross
    @LaGuardiaCross 6 років тому +1298

    Wow. One of the most 'look yourself in the mirror and rethink everything you thought you knew' channels on UA-cam. Thank you for sharing your own struggles, so we can identify and work through our own.

    • @kkura__kkuraa
      @kkura__kkuraa 6 років тому

      N

    • @elizamaria3008
      @elizamaria3008 5 років тому

      What other similar channels do you know?

    • @missdaytonax
      @missdaytonax 5 років тому

      @@elizamaria3008 The School of Life, I really recommend it!!

    • @elizamaria3008
      @elizamaria3008 5 років тому +1

      @@missdaytonax Thanks :)

    • @laurenc.860
      @laurenc.860 5 років тому +3

      Right?! Also I love ur channel, La Guardia 🤗❤️

  • @aylinahmedova1108
    @aylinahmedova1108 6 років тому +1100

    Anna's my life coach😂❤

    • @Neneoh
      @Neneoh 6 років тому +1

      Mine too

    • @bobno66
      @bobno66 6 років тому +1

      Please run away are you going to be collecting cat

    • @jessicammbai8254
      @jessicammbai8254 6 років тому +1

      She really is 😂 and I love it ❤️

    • @aylinahmedova1108
      @aylinahmedova1108 6 років тому +1

      @@bobno66 i like cats anyway

    • @selcukdilek4656
      @selcukdilek4656 6 років тому +1

      Yes ❤️

  • @starcherry6814
    @starcherry6814 5 років тому +121

    Beware dating someone who is afraid of intimacy.
    They will break your heart!

    • @khadijakolsawala9323
      @khadijakolsawala9323 5 років тому +27

      Indirectly you asked people to beware of Me!!

    • @xenia1871
      @xenia1871 4 роки тому +2

      :(

    • @avocado2543
      @avocado2543 4 роки тому +2

      Oops 👉👈

    • @dawn6597
      @dawn6597 2 роки тому +6

      Well that hurt.. i like them so much. I don’t want to be afraid of getting closer to them.. I’m working on it ok ;-;

  • @ohriven1484
    @ohriven1484 5 років тому +40

    I stop talking to people as soon as I understand/they tell me they have feelings for me just because I get scared and I fear those emotions...

  • @Fahtimma
    @Fahtimma 6 років тому +452

    Wow Anna dragging me through filth early in the morning

    • @AFuTeZ
      @AFuTeZ 6 років тому

      Fahtimma 😂😂😂 ❤️ This!

  • @dollface106
    @dollface106 6 років тому +910

    i feel attacked, didn’t realize some of those were signs of intimacy issues

    • @papernecklace
      @papernecklace 6 років тому +5

      Good thing you're not the only one recognizing some things and feeling attacked (vulnerability?) ;)

    • @Jobe-13
      @Jobe-13 6 років тому

      Same

    • @nataliavargas9299
      @nataliavargas9299 6 років тому

      me and you both brother 🤠

  • @wiktorianajbert3218
    @wiktorianajbert3218 6 років тому +311

    i loo... i loov...i-i- lo-loov... ilovemyselfaswell

    • @moonlightmochi884
      @moonlightmochi884 6 років тому +3

      Karma_ 2410_ underrated comment

    • @VoenDomar
      @VoenDomar 6 років тому +3

      Its honestly stunning how hard it is to do this lol, for me at least (And a lot of other people it seems like judging from the comments)

    • @Mttyd12
      @Mttyd12 6 років тому

      It's a shame that there's that me-too movement (just think there could have been a better name real lazy really everyone say me too when they have something in common 😒) think I loo... I loo...i-i-lo-loov... Me-too would have been funnier because if the whole "I love you...... Yeah me too" awkward reply that happens on films, shows and I guess real life

  • @irenefelton1
    @irenefelton1 5 років тому +105

    Oh wow... I truly learned this for the first time. I've never had a relationship longer than 2.5 months before and I'm 30. I just always said I've been picky... I also recently met someone Amazing and was wondering why the beginning isn't intense but feels like a slow burn.... Wish me luck folks. Thanks Anna!

    • @9Nikko8
      @9Nikko8 4 роки тому +3

      I hope this will work out for you, rooting for you!

    • @charlesyun7803
      @charlesyun7803 4 роки тому +1

      Same age. The only thing I haven’t done with a girl is having an actual relationship. I did date a few times. And I had sex a few times. (Those two sentences are not related.) That’s about it.

    • @evilerroryt8448
      @evilerroryt8448 3 роки тому +1

      I mean if you think about it. Beening intense with someone you just met at first is a huge stretch and just puts a lot of stress In my point of view ya know. It should just be chill and getting to know the person first. If you instantly like someone at first glance I'll just assume its lust and that feeling never stays the same.

    • @irenefelton1
      @irenefelton1 2 роки тому

      ​@Obakeng Ngoepe Great question. I had a LOT more work to do than to just watch her videos, including going to therapy, addressing my deepest fears and desires, speaking to lots of people, etc.... and then 1.5 years later after going through all that stuff (still going through more now) - I found the LOVE OF MY LIFE. I LITERALLY DID. I had been online dating for 12 years, and I finally found someone incredible, same thing, online, when I was finally ready - someone that was at my level of maturity, ability to connect, ability to communicate and work through our problems, etc. The relationship is still work only because we're continuously working on keeping a safe space to share and understand each other better. Anyway, I thought I was cursed... but no, I just had to do the work. Good luck out there! And do the work if possible, if you have the resources, etc.

  • @teragotchi
    @teragotchi 4 роки тому +14

    'IF I'M NOT SUFFERING, I'M CLEARLY NOT IN LOVE'.
    That was an eyeopener! I feel like past experiences, movies, books & music all lead to this idea that your relationship has to be challenging enough to be worthy of the title of love.

  • @vaiishnavi5423
    @vaiishnavi5423 6 років тому +680

    I wish I didn't relate to this so much 😂😂

  • @HappiestSadGuy
    @HappiestSadGuy 6 років тому +414

    Intimacy = into me I see

  • @amy_lee
    @amy_lee 6 років тому +1534

    I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS

  • @hellenarias6730
    @hellenarias6730 5 років тому +19

    "As much as we think we don't deserve love, we do" oh Gosh.... So freaking deep. Thanks, you have a new follower.

  • @kitluwi2495
    @kitluwi2495 4 роки тому +19

    I was definitely caught off guard with those 6 symptoms. Never have I realized that I'm scared of intimacy just as much as i thought i crave for it. Maybe apart from lack of self worth, i guess one of the reasons why we subconsciously sabotage our love life is because, growing up, we never saw our parents showing intimacy/love with each other - either they end up being divorced or even if they're together but just living passively.

    • @icecreambodyrolls
      @icecreambodyrolls Рік тому +2

      Bro... Especially the parent thing

    • @Lightbulb909
      @Lightbulb909 Рік тому +3

      The parent thing is what I’ve been thinking for myself. I crave intimacy, but I know if someone touches me, and I mean here like hugs, it’s incredibly uncomfortable. It’s so strange because I crave them too, but when it happens it’s unbearable. Like my skin gets sensitive to touch, as if the slightest contact is incredibly ticklish.
      I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve never seen my parents show intimacy, not so much as a complement even, throughout my childhood until now in my mid-twenties. I’ve been wondering if this has any bearing on my experiences.

  • @blubblblab5852
    @blubblblab5852 6 років тому +309

    I am afraid of intimacy in my dating life, but it shows differently. I don't even make it to the first date xD It's mostly like: "Oh my, this super sweet and handsome guy with beautiful eyes just smiled at me. Wow. He is my type! Well, I guess that's my moment to anxiously leave the store and hope that I never see him again. Bye!" - I know it's wrong. What I do about it? No idea where to start :'D Send money or help.

    • @papernecklace
      @papernecklace 6 років тому +25

      Haha, even though I'm male it's very relatable. I used to think the exact same thing. I'd say it's because you think either 'I don't deserve him' or 'He doesn't deserve me'. At least that was the case with me. My advice is: be assertive and talk to him anyway! In the worst case it's really awkward and you never see him again, in the better case you have a really fun conversation :D

    • @Yeye-oz7ge
      @Yeye-oz7ge 6 років тому +23

      OH MY GOODNESS i feel attacked by THAT comment more than anything anna said because i've never even been in a relationship hahaaaaaaa i feel your pain

    • @hannahdill9012
      @hannahdill9012 6 років тому +7

      Send money FOR help.

    • @ZERO-rj1xv
      @ZERO-rj1xv 6 років тому +13

      Stop being relatable this instant. *I feel attacked*

    • @josiemac7807
      @josiemac7807 6 років тому +2

      Blubbl Blab I have snickers bars...?

  • @m444ria
    @m444ria 6 років тому +249

    I felt so attacked I cried

    • @Roan.bot.
      @Roan.bot. 5 років тому

      m444ria you must do all of these things 😂

    • @rekuu27
      @rekuu27 5 років тому

      Me too.

  • @Fancynancytv
    @Fancynancytv 6 років тому +103

    Ok so found out I have intimacy issues...

  • @bu2fulFantasy
    @bu2fulFantasy 4 роки тому +4

    I always come back to Anna’s videos when I’m in my feelings and super confused about what to do... I always feel better bc I remember that I can rewrite the narrative for my love life with intentionality... I don’t have to stay being the person who’s afraid of intimacy

  • @thejoiny
    @thejoiny 5 років тому +12

    "I love you okay bye" is so Rosa from Brooklyn 99

  • @미미월드-q5b
    @미미월드-q5b 6 років тому +83

    ANNA'S BACK ON TRACK, BABY!!! This, is more like it. I dig this about her. She's so spot-on describing the "develop yourself before you can accept someone worthy" thing! I've been working on it, getting good at it and now she couldn't have made it more clear! Thanks a mil, Anna. Total gem, this episode.

  • @blazingdusk4046
    @blazingdusk4046 6 років тому +121

    It’s terrifying to look and see what you’ve become on retrospection.
    I’ve done this so many times.😭

  • @moonlightmochi884
    @moonlightmochi884 6 років тому +382

    who needs a therapist when you have anna

    • @annecapote869
      @annecapote869 6 років тому +3

      Moonlight Mochi Anna sees therapists, we watch her videos, THEREFORE....
      Her therapists are our therapists 🤝

    • @ilou9129
      @ilou9129 6 років тому +1

      Me. I need them.

    • @LaQuesaDeMI
      @LaQuesaDeMI 6 років тому

      Oh I definitely need a therapist. That’s why I have both!

  • @MoroFullmetal
    @MoroFullmetal 3 роки тому +2

    "If I'm not suffering, I'm clearly not in love." OMG true statement. I love it!!!!

  • @bendingbananas6540
    @bendingbananas6540 3 роки тому +2

    Idk if anyone else experience this, but whenever someone shows genuine care and concern towards me i get this sick feeling in my stomach, almost like im gonna vomit or something☹ and yet at the same time i also appreciate it

  • @jamie4303
    @jamie4303 6 років тому +130

    When Anna becomes your UA-cam therapist

  • @laraboylemusic
    @laraboylemusic 6 років тому +53

    All your videos always come out with a topic that I am always currently working though!
    Had a physiotherapist recently ask if I had fears of abandonment. And I was like no never! And I'm super independent anyways!
    But I went home and thought about it. I sercetly am terrified of losing people because all I have done is push people away, and then I am all like "see!!! I knew they were gonna leave! Called it!" And pretend I am okay with it.
    It's the things you never thought you needed to work on that need the most attention. And oddly since I have realized that part of me, it has calmed down a ton!!

  • @anisa2001786
    @anisa2001786 6 років тому +228

    I crave attention but I can’t have anyone touch me😭

    • @corkydukeII5898
      @corkydukeII5898 6 років тому +3

      Sounds like a typical woman

    • @zaboomafooba
      @zaboomafooba 6 років тому +39

      Corky Duke you’re annoying

    • @melododie
      @melododie 6 років тому +8

      Same but I love touching other people not in a weird way though.

    • @corkydukeII5898
      @corkydukeII5898 6 років тому

      plumear You spelled amusing wrong

    • @zaboomafooba
      @zaboomafooba 6 років тому +6

      nope. I spelled annoying correctly

  • @kimtaeyeonismyeverything
    @kimtaeyeonismyeverything 4 роки тому +60

    The YT algorithm is worried about me 😂

  • @appletoast3996
    @appletoast3996 4 роки тому +2

    The feeling of seeing this a year after working on self love is incredible. I no longer feel personally attacked by those six signs, but my past self definitely was.

  • @basaksungur9068
    @basaksungur9068 6 років тому +46

    Okay, this is %100 me. All of the symptoms and for the past 4 years I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. You can't imagine how I feel right now. The important question is, how to fix this? Especially the "being attracted to unavailable men" part. Or dismissing too easily part, I'm sick of friendzoning amazing people but I have no idea how to start having feelings for them if there is no excitement.
    And all my past relationships ended because I got bored. IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM.

    • @s.d.966
      @s.d.966 5 років тому +1

      Be a strong willed person. Grow up.
      Just look at the mirror and make a promise to yourself that you will love who you should love.
      My advice: Try to go back to your any past partner and try to make things work. Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally. If they cheat on you or if they leave you after that then they don't deserve you and move on.

    • @xermy1648
      @xermy1648 5 років тому

      that's called not knowing wtf you want like 3/4 of other girls

    • @highoffbluntz1131
      @highoffbluntz1131 4 роки тому

      sounds like u needa meet the WOO

  • @Lol0918
    @Lol0918 6 років тому +134

    Your videos are such a help. I watch them daily so I remember to take care of myself. 💖💕

  • @yermaw6348
    @yermaw6348 6 років тому +44

    It's embarrassing to say I relate to every sign that you're afraid of intimacy. :T

  • @CHopeBerlin
    @CHopeBerlin 6 років тому +1

    Thank you Ana for always reminding me that I'm not the only one feeling that way. A lot of pressure and feeling of isolation disappears.

  • @jovandavidovic1
    @jovandavidovic1 8 місяців тому +1

    The capacity for closeness is the key to the success of any relationship, because it determines how much a person is able to love!
    Intimacy requires quite a bit of trust. We must have trust in someone in order to reveal the most personal and most confidential parts of ourselves to them, and we must know if we are able to accept the same most personal and most hurtful parts of the other, without them pressing and suffocating us.

  • @sophiamia3026
    @sophiamia3026 6 років тому +10

    This reminds me of how I replied to one guy's "I miss you" viber message 😂 I put him on seen for a few hours and replied "I miss me too" 😅

  • @ArborParva
    @ArborParva 6 років тому +42

    Well... I guess I'm okay with relationships, but I'm kinda afraid of close friendship. All my childhood friends turned out to be douchebags and I don't really know how to make new friends as an adult.

    • @justcommenting1590
      @justcommenting1590 6 років тому

      ArborParva tru and I don't know either

    • @LaQuesaDeMI
      @LaQuesaDeMI 6 років тому +2

      I’ve made new friends through volunteering at political events and also through partaking in Meetup.com events (like hiking clubs). I know adult friending can be tough!

    • @kimmirandaart9909
      @kimmirandaart9909 5 років тому

      A good friendship will feel good and you’ll just know it

  • @CaRLO12121A
    @CaRLO12121A 4 роки тому +4

    0:46 got me deadddddd LMAO Thank you Anna for outlining this issue. I once met a girl who was very easy going and was always down whenever I asked her out, yet when we were together with no problems I always had an irk that something was wrong. I eventually pushed her away because of other reasons, but this has been really insightful when it comes to looking into myself.

  • @zoomer106
    @zoomer106 3 роки тому +16

    So
    If someone is falling in love with me...is it normal, that I don’t trust her for a split second and think that her feelings are not true and this is all some f*cked up game to mess with my locked up feelings? Huh...

  • @mattmartin2205
    @mattmartin2205 5 років тому +1

    The thought of opening up to someone is absolutely terrifying!

  • @elliemiglin8119
    @elliemiglin8119 6 років тому +29

    Could you please go through each of those signs in different videos? This is just something I struggle with.

  • @HannahPockey
    @HannahPockey 6 років тому +36

    WHY AM I YOU?! I was just saying today I've been building walls for over 26 months since my last relationship. I don't even know how many first dates I've gone on that never went further lol.

    • @papernecklace
      @papernecklace 6 років тому +1

      Haha, this also is very relatable. A lot of first dates were 'too good to be true'. Turns out I just thought I wasn't worth it. Too bad I'll probably never see one of them again.

    • @christineprasad1547
      @christineprasad1547 6 років тому +9

      omg right?! or if you don't feel an intense spark on the first date, i tell myself that that guy isn't right for me. If he messages me quickly, i think he's clingy..if he messages me after a while, i think he's too distant and doesn't like me. Love is way too complicated and yet so beautifully simple haha

    • @papernecklace
      @papernecklace 6 років тому +2

      Christine Prasad Very, very relatable 😅

    • @xermy1648
      @xermy1648 5 років тому

      @@christineprasad1547 well that's one toxic way of seeing it. No wonder why you're having trouble with this

    • @christineprasad1547
      @christineprasad1547 5 років тому

      @@xermy1648 ahaha fix me pls

  • @PforPanthera
    @PforPanthera 6 років тому +83

    I have rotten self-worth but rather than being attracted to people who'd be obviously bad for me I go to kind of the opposite extreme of being super attracted to anyone that's particularly nice to me who I find even a little physically attractive. When I first started having romantic feelings at all I'd end up confusing liking someone in a platonic way for them being nice to me with actually being attracted to them. Which is why it took me a long time to figure out I was a lesbian :p

    • @Mel-pi2ns
      @Mel-pi2ns 6 років тому

      What helped you figuring out?

    • @carmentan421
      @carmentan421 6 років тому

      Uh oh same

    • @PforPanthera
      @PforPanthera 6 років тому +2

      I kept catching myself fantasizing about making out with girls I knew and after a year or so of denial I kind of just had to acknowledge how different I thought about girls and guys in regards to romance.

  • @Besederish
    @Besederish 5 років тому +14

    i think this is one of the most psychologically accurate youtube short

  • @kimseokjinsstingray7389
    @kimseokjinsstingray7389 5 років тому +9

    Im so scared of intimacy that one time when my crush compliments me I just walk away or say “nope that’s not happening, by”

  • @sarasaric5824
    @sarasaric5824 6 років тому +142

    0:47 THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE ROSA FROM BROOKLYN 99

  • @lilahbulosan1681
    @lilahbulosan1681 5 років тому +13

    i just realized i destroyed every relationship i could've had :/

  • @Sav3_St4te
    @Sav3_St4te 3 роки тому +3

    "If I'm not suffering, I'm clearly not in love" You didn't have to hurt me like this

  • @thecoolaxolotlnova8523
    @thecoolaxolotlnova8523 3 роки тому +1

    Pain abandonment and anxiety remind you of love? That just reminds me of my entire life.

  • @_jonbell
    @_jonbell 4 роки тому +1

    The eyes-averted, "I love you" then leaving is perfect lol

  • @Yagiselys
    @Yagiselys 6 років тому +27

    I love anna’s videos she always inspires me to upload better content on my youtube channel

  • @fionaWhatever
    @fionaWhatever 6 років тому +4

    This actually also applies a lot to friendships - I don't feel romantic attraction, but those symptoms describe my feelings about most of my friendships, past and current, uncomfortably accurately. Which i really did not expect but...yea, guess that explains a lot.

  • @sheep2924
    @sheep2924 6 років тому +16

    Wow, so many vids in one week! Nice, thanks😊😊😊

  • @ajl0426
    @ajl0426 5 років тому

    Why do you think you have a lack of self-worth? I watched enough of your videos and here is what I have noticed; you have the confidence to put yourself on youtube for the whole world to see, you are very intelligent, funny, attractive, and you appear to have a good relationship with your parents.

  • @doobydoba
    @doobydoba 5 років тому

    The extent to which I've learnt so many things in my life from you is mind boggling.
    You have not only given me a perspective on a lot of things that have saved my life but also your constant need to better yourself even when the chemicals in our brain don't let us feel the best is what I've learnt from you over the years. You continue to shine and be a better person than what you were yesterday and I have a lot of love and respect for you.
    I hope that you accomplish many things in 2019 just as you did past few years. And stay awesome.

  • @dahlia8027
    @dahlia8027 6 років тому +24

    Okay, I have two questions:
    1) How do you define 'chemistry'?
    2) So now that we identified the problem, any tips on how to fixing it?

    • @s.d.966
      @s.d.966 5 років тому +5

      1. Here "chemistry" means infatuation.
      2. Be a strong willed person from today, you just have to make this decision that you will not be what you used to be before.
      Ask your partner what he/she is going through or is everything alright, keep asking them until they open up to you, then empathize for them to soothe their pain. Encourage them for their betterment, appreciate them for their works and love them unconditionally.

    • @Roan.bot.
      @Roan.bot. 5 років тому +6

      Chemistry is just attraction and attraction can happen just from two people trying to spend time and have fun with one another. They problem with the excuse of chemistry that ladies use is that it sets a high expectation that if things don’t click upon the first meeting then they never will and that’s not true. It’s just a lazy way of looking for and getting out of the commitment of making a relationship.

  • @brandonvilla2420
    @brandonvilla2420 6 років тому +52

    Yes i love being loved but i find all the attention creepy and annoying sometimes.

  • @Javmonster
    @Javmonster 4 роки тому +6

    damn, this is hitting me directly in the feels. Like my "deep feels"

  • @DoTx
    @DoTx 3 роки тому

    After so many years on youtube, I randomly step upon this lady's videos and she is now my favourite youtuber. Thank you for existing, your videos are gold.

  • @wiggilytaco7570
    @wiggilytaco7570 3 роки тому +1

    "Being bored when your partner does everything right. This was exactly me with my current boyfriend. Then I realized "como que me gusta la Vida mala" which is basically saying "its as if I enjoy being unhappy". I was craving being frustrated and disappointed and then dive into some twisted passion. I pushed to just enjoy being content and got over it with patience. Currently in the most chillest relationship I've ever been in. We can get emotional but we never fight.

  • @AmruthaViswanath
    @AmruthaViswanath 4 роки тому +6

    "If I'm not suffering I'm clearly not in love."

  • @miladyaqo7150
    @miladyaqo7150 5 років тому +5

    Ooh damn girl who is you!
    Why am I discovering this channel now!!
    *_Am I falling in love?_*

  • @Xambriel_
    @Xambriel_ 6 років тому +29

    I can relate so much it hurts

  • @AeriaGl0ris
    @AeriaGl0ris 6 років тому

    Oh gods, I relate to that last bit. I can have a hard time saying those three magical words, either to myself or to people I deeply care about. Typing is easier, or showing it with hugs, doing little things to make them feel better, etc.

  • @jeaniegould-mcelhone3575
    @jeaniegould-mcelhone3575 4 роки тому

    i’ve been one date in eighteen years of life and i’m terrified of relationships but give me a pat of a back for trying while i’m hiding in my room and hoping that it doesn’t become something more

  • @aliabrown215
    @aliabrown215 5 років тому +3

    It’s just...I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m 20. All my friends date. The main topic for most of our conversations is there significant other and sex life. And I never realized that was such a popular topic. And Im starting to feel like something has to be wrong with me because I haven’t experienced anything! It’s so frustrating!

  • @AcademicNicholasSumabat
    @AcademicNicholasSumabat 6 років тому +6

    Stuttering while trying to say love in the mirror is literally my morning routine

  • @Rodski10
    @Rodski10 4 роки тому +1

    This is scary accurate. Well played

  • @texascontessa5818
    @texascontessa5818 5 років тому +1

    Cracked up about the mirror trials at self worth.....the agonizing work of my lifetime

  • @liquicitizenfarron6172
    @liquicitizenfarron6172 6 років тому +55

    Well i know im scared anna thanks for reminding me it hahaha