“Whatever you believe is what you are.” Underrated statement that more people need to pay attention to. Get your mental straight before walking into a situation that requires confidence whether that’s a job interview, talking to a girl or whatever else.
@@kulik03 Then its there loss. Most people can see this mindset as narcissistic or arrogant but as long as you go about it a right way and truly think of yourself as someone that can live a life you truly love with confidence you will be successful and if they dont want that then they will miss out.
you can still force the situation and your brain will ease that and help you without mental health as the video said but I prefer have both mental health and mindset
Dude, I am 53 years old and am very impressed with your knowledge and insightfulness, especially given your age. I got divorced after being married 6 years and in the relationship for 11 years. I loved this woman more than words could describe. She left me at the same time my Dad died. I was monkey-branched and needless to say, I was devastated. I suffered a severe depression that I only just came out of. I lost all confidence in myself, and all the bullshit that comes with that. This vid was really eye-opening and extremely helpful to me. For 3 years, I have been pining the loss of my marriage. My wife was my best friend, and my life felt empty without her. I did everything wrong after the break-up. Short of begging, I did everything to get her back which only served to push her further away. I was suffering from "oneitis". I have since learned my value and worth, and will never act as weak again. I am not ready to date yet, because I am stilled fucked up to a degree. But, I am starting to get my head on straight, have started working out and have saved this video for future reference, should I need a reminder of my importance. Thank you, my friend. Very valuable information that even an old dog like me can use. Cheers!
when you experience it even once similar to what you went through with that one woman you just can't trust them anymore, look at them the same and start despise them honestly I can't bring myself to even go to find one night stand without a disgust because now I know what is she thinking, how she operates in life and what motivates her shit is revolting
Something interesting to note - we are born with confidence. A baby or child isn't worried about their self-image, until they are told by their parents/peers that they shouldn't be themselves. Confidence isn't something that you need to "gain", it's something you need to reclaim.
No, by definition confidence is something that you gain. A baby doesn’t have confidence since they don’t have the mental faculties to understand confidence as a concept, self image, or skill in a certain area
@@mealovesyu I don't disagree with what you're saying, and I think it just further proves my point. Confidence doesn't need to be understood to be possessed. A baby completely depends on its parents when it's born. Assuming it is not neglected, that innate trust is what allows it to explore the world without questioning any ideas of itself, since it literally can't yet. It's only through the outside world that that confidence can be betrayed and diminished. Without that trust that is hardwired into us, babies would not walk, talk, or do anything, for fear that they would mess up.
Half a year ago i approached 5 girls in one week because i was feeling well mentally and confident and momentum helped me alot. Now after going through something that rattled my self confidence abit and caused depression, i havent been able to approach anybody for at least a month because of overthinking and self image issues.. This video was a wake up call. Thank you. I hope to fix everything soon.
I'm a woman who has been super nervous to go up and talk to guys because of fear of rejection. I'm assuming your advice is intended for men, but your perspective on getting rejected is refreshing.
Trust me some of us are hella east but don’t take it for granted some dudes will catch on and leave just be chill honest and take it slow and don’t focus on fucking up we all tend to do that men and women we tend to focus on the negative parts.
Few of months ago I left a comment on one of your community posts asking what I can do as a super short guy to get girls. Crazy thing is I’ve gotten laid before but it had been a couple years. Over covid I started consuming so much content that I started to think I could never attract a girl. Then couple months ago I met a similarly short guy who approaches and gets laid and started hanging out w him. My perspective has changed completely and I’ve gotten laid this summer
These are very wise words. In the last three months I've been through a bit of a rollercoaster: I fell in to the black pill trap for a few weeks after trying dating apps with zero success (Because I didn't know what I was doing) and it took a few weeks to extricate myself from it. Then I had an epiphany, and I decided to fight back. I unsubscribed and blocked the black pill channels, and looked in to residual self image: The physical projection of my mental self. I started styling and gelling my hair, bought some new clothes to show off my weight loss, started looking after my skin properly, worked on eye contact and watched a lot of videos (Many from this channel) to see how to cold approach. I've gone from walking along and keeping my eyes down to making eye contact with everyone, my head held up high. I cold approach a couple of women every day just to practise, and I've had dates and a couple of hook-ups because of my chatting up. I've even had two girls approach me first, something that never happened before. Confidence is king.
Man I’ve been staying in this loop of drinking and stuck in a hole and letting it continue. My homie gave me a motivational talk the other night when the shit with the last girl kinda fell through. You mentioned exactly who I am currently at the start of this video, I’m flawed, I’ve been at the gym everyday trying to do the best I can and I need to take a step back from women and really make myself the person I should be. Deleted social media and dating apps and I’m going for it for real. I appreciate you bro for real.
Hi Denmo! Comment virgin. I'm a 31 y/o disabled veteran who's finally getting his life together. I have been out of the social world for like 8 years. I completely regressed and hid from the world b/c it hurt me in the past. I have depression and anxiety. I have stopped smoking cigarettes, weed, started going to the gym since last February, deleted dating apps, volunteer at my church, and I started college again yesterday! I would say that things are definitely getting better for me. I am a very intelligent person. I went into the military righto out of highschool and became an air traffic controller. That messed up my head bad bro and I lost my wife because of my mental health. I really appreciate you making these videos. Your approach and casual demeanor really get through to me. Despite all of the progress I've made, I still have a lot of issues with confidence b/c I'm still behind compared to other men my age.
Tell me bro why you always have such a great timing with your vids? I needed it rn. I was thinking about it already for weeks that before I'm gonna approach girls I have to get my head right, because after my breakup I lost my self-confidence and it's all fucked up rn, but at the same time I refused to acknowledge it, because I want somebody in my life and I didn't want to wait. But it's true that all the great things in life come with patience and work. Just needed to hear it from someone else, from one of my mentors. It also hit close to home when you was talking 'bout overthinking part, because I've always been more sensitive and aware than other people and because of that it's often hard for me to communicate with others. I'm gonna work on my head, I got it. Thanks bro! PS. I liked the format of this video, a little bit more serious than always, but still with humor. Keep doing them like that 👌
Jack bro. I was at the gym and when I was leaving I grew the balls to tell this girl that works there a joke and make her laugh. Didn’t ask for her number bc she works there and I’ll see her again. Love the vids bro
I was married for 3 years, together for 10 years, since 9 months ago i got a divorce, my heart was broken, i never approached a girl for so many years, i don't how this changed, i'm 37 now and trying to get over it, i talked to a girl at a fast food place, she rejected me, she instantly felt my anxiety, i'm trying to better myself, i quit smoking and will join a GYM membership, i know my life is not lost, watching you videos trying to get on the right path.
You're really young yet already so experienced. Many women would value this. As for this video "do not overthink this bro" said they guy who also overthinks. It really ain't rocket science. So end this pity party, pull yourself together, look decent and try to smell nicely and put yourself out there bravely. Divorces happens. Shit happens. To decent people of both sexes. To some women too. As for being rejected, well, you may always get rejected just because someone else is not looking to date anyone at certain point in their life. Does not mean it has anything to do with you really. Try to seek people who are seeking to date or meet someone. Since otheriwse you may get rejected just because the other side does not seek to date anyone. That's all.
I sat and watched the whole video without distractions and it felt awesome. This video really helped because I've been struggling to cold approach and I've been trying but i can't approach because i am constantly overthinking and my mental health isn't that right, now.
ended up striking a conversation with my gym crush today and honestly i wasnt exactly confident and couldnt make proper eye contact but regardless of that she was talking to me and smiling and overall positive energy, i almost slipped off the treadmill as well it was a complete mess but it made her laugh, whether if she likes me or not, i managed to overcome my social anxiety and talked to the girl i like it felt amazing, it really is as simple as stop overthinking and just go talk to her
U just got a sub brother, thank you for this. After a breakup of a 3.5 year relationship with my ex fiancée, I fell hard with my confidence and self thought. Now 3 months later been working on my physical and mental health and back in school... feeling better already 😊 hang in there boys
I absolutely overthink and take myself too seriously in the head, I definitely needed this video. It made me realize somethings i gotta change when i get back in school after break. Thanks Jack!
Absolutely great video! Provided tons of clarity and direction. I'm going to talk to girls today. So pathetic that talking to a girl is a huge milestone in my month.
@@Robixino Yesterday was a downer. Only interactions were talking to baristas at the coffee shop, but at least it was a pleasant conversation. Hitting the town square today!
@@dudydude3287 hey, it´s always good to start small, building confidence along the way until you hit the big one! Every interaction counts! Crossing my fingers for you, you got this!
@@dudydude3287Your doing what 99% of guys aren’t willing to do. Keep pushing yourself and you will become more comfortable to the point where it’s natural
I have approached girls in person only about 3 times tho, last time I did it I was actually feeling very confident that day and was having a good day hanging with my buddy so I was very warmed up, the interactions went well but she told me she had a boyfriend, but I realized at the time it was a blessing bc I knew my mental health still wasn’t in good shape and it hasn’t been for weeks… so I’m happy I stumbled across this video and I am definitely using it as a wake up call
How is this man just able to spit straight-up informative and constructive content throughout 25 minutes of video? It just baffles me how I'm having my mind blown every 3-5 minutes in the video. This is very necessary for those who feel like they don't have much of a ground to stand on. Me personally, I can relate with most of the things he says that men usually are. We're unconfident, we're overthinkers, we don't have our shit straight, and that's why we demonize talking to women so much. It's also all of these toxic traits that we tend to develop as we delve deeper into the social media hole that keeps us even more from performing well. Putting women on pedestals before even knowing them, downplaying yourself into thinking you're not enough, picturing unsuccessful scenarios in your head before you've even said a simple "Hello", and the list goes on. I also like how Denmo points out the necessity to have a warm-up, similarly to how you warm up at the gym before working out. There's a reason why cold approaches are tough, and that's usually why. If you think about it, everything in life derives from a skill you've been working on and perfecting throughout your life, from something as simple as chewing food to something like socializing and being a good communicator, and you can't expect momentum if you're not practicing, so it is crucial that we get used to having quick interactions with strangers or try and make new friends at any new place you go to. Even for an introvert, we never know, but we might appreciate the talk sometimes.
Thank you Jack, I started watching your videos around a month ago when i was watching all these other UA-camrs explain on how to talk to girls, however none of them helped me as much as you did, and because of your help I was able to break through the limits and proved the haters all wrong and I'm continuing to surprise myself and keep growing, and the information you give is priceless :)
I was doing some thinking over the past few hours and I may have realized the core issue of my dating struggles is that I tend to get so discouraged when it comes to these situations, especially if a girl is with or talking to another guy, then I immediately assume that they have a thing together (which may or may not be true). These past couple of months, I have felt pretty good with a job and weeding out some losers who did me wrong, but I definitely still have work to do, and I will be happy knowing that I can work it out and take it one step at a time.
Theres always branches shedding from the friend tree. Some weed themselves off others need to be cut. You just have to be vigilant in life how your network is doing
My first gym approach this year, was after one of your vids about this. I wasn't new to it, but hadn't for a while. First one was awkward but still greet her like a human being. Two out of four turned in to meaningful dates. All of them seemed appreciative in the end. It's mind blowing how fast one (me at least) adapts to this and how satisfying it is. I have the best experience being direct for congruency reasons, but could understand other views here
i'm 25 and i want to start talking to girls on the street, you are giving me the knowledge and advice that i need to learn and hear. thank you so much for what you do, please, never change.
This has made me feel a lot better! Just got over a girl I was talking to for a while after she cut ties with because of a misunderstanding. My mental state is absolutely f*cked and it's a good idea to deal with that before anything! I remember a lyric from a wrong that mentioned how to love somebody you have to learn to love yourself. I get it a little more now. Thanks Bro.
Ive been walking around and asking girls random questions like "where is the train station" and it's not negative per say but it's also not really positive. A lot of times they look like they just don't want to talk to anyone, sometimes they don't even respond, but just point into a direction. I think if you are not tall you have to really compensate somehow
Finally a reasonable take on cold approaches. People, in general, don't want you to just randomly talk to them when they are going about their day. This is true in any context, but _especially_ for women not wanting guys to hit them up.
Since i start changing my mental health , with gym, medidation and removing all the negative thoughts and addictions i start becoming more alive and confident. I fell i can embrace every challenge and win it, i adapted myself to do the hard work and now it feels that talking with strangers it´s more easy or even with girls atleast i try to not hesitate and have the right mindset to overcome my anxiety to talk with her. Also, i stop using dating apps because i realize that the real girls are in the real world and i can see now that i don´t need to be perfect to attract girls, since now i can easly attract girls with my positive aurea and with my confident posture, i know i am good what i do , i don´t need validation of people to tell me that. Finally, I can say that healing our brain, put us on the right path of life.
jack... thanks for putting this out. i'm not an avid watcher of your videos, but i pop in here and there, and often resonate a little with your content. this one hit home. it's all in the head. i'm satisfied with everything in my life right now except for my dating scene. while ive built up a lot of confidence in the past few years, i let not only my socialization abilities, but my self image get stuck in a frame where i am always "not _____ enough" to consistently talk to not only women of romantic interest, but complete strangers as well. i cared wayyyyy too much about what strangers think of me. this marks the day i break free from the frame. starting this morning, i made the commitment to talk to a random stranger every day until it feels normal. this includes women of romantic interest, and i'll finally stop depriving myself of what i long for- a genuine human connection. all the love, bro
I wasted my whole vacation finding girls on tinder and bumble and forgot that how confident I was a year ago, that I had convinced a stranger beautiful girl to carry my luggage plus to get me a free metro ticket without hesitating for a second before approaching her that's other thing that did not ask for her number that moment but still, these dating apps has paralysed me 😓 never gonna use them again
I really agree with you about getting your shit together. Once I've got my mind state in control everything started to go better, not only about talking to girls, also too in other Aspects.. I love your videos, keep doing it 🫡
Don’t care about the outcome is my single best piece of advice. If you don’t care how she reacts, it’s so much easier to say whatever. You win either way. If she won’t go for it, move onto something else.
But that disrespect you open yourself up to 😂😂. I am not giving anyone a free opportunity to diss me. All people need is a small window and they will take that moment to do it.
My first comment on a youtube video. This gave me a lot of clarity. I've been told by friends and family that I need to love myself more, in other words get my head right, then things will sort themselves out. I workout, got a good education and a job. I also have good friends and this year I've been active, socializing and going on adventures. I find it easier to talk to strangers and had some luck with women. However I still need to work on my mental health. Have to keep going, meet new people, have fun and beat the anxieties.
Denmo, i be lurking but i'm actually applying this shite, started working out, watching my diet, had a great convo with a girl on the train and gave her my number, also noticing that people in my friend group are looking to me for decisions more. So thanks man, i think the path forward has been carved for me. We're all gunna make it if we put the work in 😎
Thanks man. I needed to hear this. Hookups have became a drug for me in a way and I began to feel that when I went a while without one that I’m beginning to go downhill or something and I just need ti get away from it. You’re a legend Denmo👏🏼
I just broke up with my girlfriend, Jack Its been 5 years since i've been in a relationshihp and this year I finally got one, albeit we met on Tinder but we rly vibed together and shared a lot in common. Your videos inspired something deep within me to want to better myself and it only took a few months for me to completely 180 the trajectory of my life. Cheers, I stopped making excuses and started meeting girls
This shit is spot on! At 32 going 33 as a single dad struggling to stay afloat and coasting in life. I’ve felt numb and isolated and feel just like the person you described. I want to change that and need to add value to myself and change the narrative.
This advice is worth its weight in gold. I genuinely believe that you're giving some of the best advice I've seen on UA-cam to date. You don't tell people to just do this or that; you actually talk about how it's going to be hard (hard is usually an understatement). An example would be how you say to take control over your actions, such as entertainment (video games, TikTok, etc.). Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time I've received advice like this; it's not difficult to find. However, you're one of the few who have said to take control over it instead of 'simply' cutting it out completely. Many people like to get on UA-cam and get all motivated and whatnot, but that honestly doesn't last more than a few hours. I can personally attest that getting rid of entertainment and social media is far from the best choice you can make unless you're genuinely addicted. Don't misunderstand, when you get rid of a habit, you WILL replace it with another. At the beginning of this year, I got rid of all social media platforms and heavily limited my entertainment consumption by switching to a flip phone and getting rid of all my other devices besides my computer for school. I essentially replaced that habit with sleep for about two months before I decided to stop procrastinating and grabbed some books (since I felt it would be a contradiction to use UA-cam) on building good habits and self-improvement. Needless to say, trying to immediately replace bad habits with good ones is a terrible idea. It's the equivalent of throwing yourself into a raging river to learn how to swim. I'm not saying it's impossible. I've seen this work for others and even myself. A good example is that around a month ago, I had been studying for around an hour a day for a test while still getting nine hours of sleep and giving myself time to indulge. I was down to the last two days of studying before the test, and I literally dedicated every second of my free time to studying. I mean, I was eating while filling out practice quizzes, brushing my teeth while replaying the lectures, and reviewing the concepts even while on the toilet. Since those two days, I've been extremely diligent with my studying and often choose to study before letting myself indulge in whatever I'd rather do. So yes, jumping into the river is effective, but only if you don't drown. In my case, 'drowning' would have meant simply giving up and letting myself fail. Instead, I sacrificed my free time and extra hours of sleep to push through and achieve my goal of understanding the concepts enough for the test. I think it's most important to not throw yourself into the river, though. Instead, build up to it. Go to the shallow pool and get used to the water until you feel comfortable (build up a habit of just showing up to the pool), understand how to swim in the first place (attain knowledge regarding the habit), try to find someone to help you throughout the journey (someone who already understands and demonstrates that habit), practice what you've learned and get comfortable with your skill level (build up to a high understanding of the habit), and lastly, go for a swim in that damned river. So yeah, that's what I wanted to comment about. I really just wanted to emphasize the idea of slowly building habits, as I feel it was only briefly mentioned here, and I would argue it's an important aspect of making progress in 'getting your head right.' I loved the video and look forward to watching more in the future!
Truly a great refresher to see videos like these again. Sometimes you find yourself in a rut, but videos like these help you keep improving. Amazing content Denmo!!
Honest, genuine, relevant, accurate, and powerful message. Love your communication style. It's fun yet direct. Thank you for enhancing our light with yours my friend. 👏🙏🙌
I got my head right before dating and I’m happily in a relationship for almost a year. One thing self improvement youtubers don’t talk about is the transition itself. From being single and optimizing for a mate, to in a relationship with said mate. You will find you need to cut a lot of shit away that you learned or made habits of doing. And this takes months to do as your mental state often lags behind your reality via imposter syndrome. You are in a relationship and know you are but for a while your mind doesn’t quite adjust. And you need to learn many things on the fly that no one really taught you bc most self improvement youtubers aren’t in long relationships. The more you get ur mind right beforehand, the better the transition will be. But still all these YT channels act like getting the girl is the final goal. It’s SO overly romanticized. When the reality is then finding ways to retain said girl, make her happy, and find your best way to love her while still staying on the grind. Theory can only get you so far lol. Reality and practice is a different ball game. I wish content on maintaining relationships could be more prevalent online.
I don't usually commenting on a video, but since you asked me to I just wanna say I appreciate you for helping guys like me to get our heads right in dating. Thank you John 3:16!
Man this was such an eye opener. I'm doing everything right, eating healthy, working out and looking after myself in general but I realised I need to get off the dating apps and start just talking to girls and not worry about rejection. Thank you bro
I am happy that i found your channel, you give me positive vibes and have great advice, God bless you sir. Thank you for not being like these toxic content creators who spread incel ideas.
Having a clean room, clean house, clean car, clean haircut… these things can make or break you I was letting these things go by because I was “focused” on my goal
So about two years ago, my fiancee left me, saying she doesn't love me anymore. I was devastated, but i managed to get through it. But honestly, I never really worked through it, just "survived" it, so after I met another girl, the shadow of my past relationship was still here, and because of that I was not treating her as I should and this relationship also fell apart. It was a month ago or so, and I finally felt that it was last straw, and with all of the other hardships in my life i felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. So I decided to go to psychologist to try to get my mind on the right path. I started forcing myself to do things that i want to do, but lacked motivation to do before. Your videos are great help, as it gives me some kind of different perspective. You are doing great job with that!
Autistic guy here who can approach girls and is trying to date but my confidence isn’t the best this video has definitely helped me being more aware of my situation and how to better myself so thank you jack
Hello i have asd too. I ve been trying to meet people and girls in college but most dont seem interested in me after we ve had a brief conversation. It's like they get repulsed by something evem though im above arerage looks wise. Do you have any tips with what has worked for you?
@@artemis3736 okay I get you first you should get this in your head first there is gonna be people like that and girls I know it sucks but it’s just something that is a thing unfortunately I’d say when your talking main thing would be find the common interest it helps a lot just don’t over share the thing you are interested because that’s a thing people like us like to do so that’s for socials for girls I haven’t mastered it yet but my advice is keep putting yourself out there and be willing to meet someone in any situation and hopefully will lead to something I’ve had a little success myself so as long as you keep all that in mind plus what Jack covers in the video you should be good luck bro I know how hard it is but we will succeed together
@@artemis3736 another thing to add on stay off dating apps they are terrible and try meet women in public and try stay off social media it gives men no hope with women with all those podcasts and stuff good luck bro will be here in comment section if you need anymore help
MAN I literally never commenting under videos becaue I though it would be completely useless. But now you mentioning the fact that 90 % off all people watching youtube are lurkers, I felt adressed by that so much so made a comment. Thank you for your advises, love you man.
I agree with what you are saying about cold approaching, but I had a really weird experience. I am naturally handsome and also communicative, and I've been cold approaching girls at streets/subway/gym over a year and got some good feedback, but it led afterwards to flakes/ghosting and also a few dates and hookups, but nothing serious. Then I was sick and downloaded tinder just for fun, and the first day I matched with a cute girl I've been happily dating now for more than a year
I suppose you fall into the "10% of successful guys" category he mentions in the video, since dating apps are not a total bust, but a very selective environment that not many people are graced with having success out of them.
This is spot on. I got a question to the community though: How do you guys go about approach anxiety? And I do not mean "normal" approach anxiety but actually rather deeply rooted anxiety. Cause even though I am pretty confident, got my career sorted out and all, I sometimes have really bad days. Mainly due to service related experiences (I used to work as a fire fighter and have seen things that sometimes pop up). Would be great to hear from you.
Look up box breathing. It'll help calm you down. Also don't have any expectations. Good practice is old ladies. They're usually really friendly and you're probably not worrying about getting a date and you'll still be talking to a woman.
Fml, this video exactly outlined my situation. I gotta get my shit together, get friends, actually feel competent....because honestly rn it's exactly what Denmo is saying - I hesitate & overthink and it's extremely frustrating. I say this in an attempt to put it in writing, if you will, and make others realize from a different perspective. God bless.
For me, I have basically everything going for me and somehow (I know how, too complicated to say) I got depression at 33 as someone who never conceived it was possible. It took almost two years to fix my negative thought pattern, the only solution that worked was to build muscle, stop too much cardio (I do a duck load of cardio), and remind myself constantly of my value with visualization / affirmations and finding better friends. Very long, slow, and not a very direct process, but somehow I know it would work every time.
Hey Denmo, thank you for popping my YT comment cherry, I was a lurker for most of my life, thank you for the gentle push to act, keep up the good content
So many L takes. Final straw was referencing Tate. “Internet is bad, take my internet class”. “It was more superficial during your dads time” while literally living in the most interconnected superficial times of history 😂. So many contradictions.
U took my UA-cam comment virginity lmao, in all seriousness I tried adding things to my life to become more confident but this vid made me realize I just gotta stop doing negative shit and go on from there. Thanks
The standards of girls have gone up significantly due to social media and dating apps. Guys must stand out if they want a shot at the hot girls. Be it having lots of money, good looking, tall, high status, charisma, funny, charming, great personality or having engaging conversation skills and vibe/energy that girls want to be around you.
@soenkevenjacob I would reframe from sad, if you ever played a sport and liked the competition then that's how I would look at it To the winner goes the spoils
Thanks for helping me with some of my insecurities and getting out of my own comfort zone. It's taken ages to actually take action but ya know... at least it's happening. Thanks for that
What a timely video, I’ve been working on my mental state for months and trying to gain confidence. And I think you’re right about experience and having value to provide. If you have value and you’ve gone through some hard times you know you will survive and have the confidence to walk away from things that don’t serve you. The abundance mindset is key
Comment this USA dude. As far as I've seen, and I've seen a fair bit, you have a pretty unique take on getting your life in order. None of this demotivating "You suck, take a look at me" content. And a valuable take on the IRL factor we youtube lurkers lack now and then. Thank you man.
Been listening to a tremendous amount of shit lately. This was a good hit man. You're right. Way too much focus on a everything else rather than bringing my energy back and working on my own self image. Take a step back. Breathe. I got this.
Duuuuuude this is my fav video of yours so far. The dating app thing got me. My game was on point, my day game was great and natural and soon as dating apps and smartphones came to rise my shit started to slowly take a dive; i got complacent n lazy
Wow ,thanks for the advice. One thing I’ve realised about most things in life in general is that the less you think about it , the better you perform doing it. The more videos you watch about getting better at game or dating , the more you thjnk about how bad you are compared to the guys in the video. So stop watching and start doing.
It's a true thing about comments. When i force my brain to talk about the video, more likely, I do something that I learn watching it. Keep pushing, mate! -🇧🇷
Great perspective, it’s important to remember that self confidence is attractive to everyone. Guys just have to get off all these negative UA-cam Red Pill channels because most of these people are just grifters who are trying to make people upset because they know that makes them easier to take advantage of and keeps them coming back looking for answers
Im about to do a big career change and move back near family, no lurking for me today. Only good vibes and the certainty that I will see and talk to any girl I want, thanks denmo.
Most of the things u said the younger me needed but what I found from here is the the answer I’ve been wanting to answer myself. Focus on myself. My Life is fine and it’s good it’s got bumps but the only thing I should be focused on is my career thank you 🙏🏽
I'm 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend and.not even have female friends. I just don't understand how dating works. A lot of women likes me because of my physical body And how the way I dressed but the problem is I dont know how to get those girls even if they like me😢😢 I feel like I'm goimg to bw songle forever
You're right man I should be leaving comments. And honestly I'm humble enough to admit this is my first one. You make solid content, honestly, you said the most important line about halfway through. It's not that complicated. 👌
Like the advice, legit I know it’s hard for people to talk to girls, but all honesty if you aren’t a social person, just randomly start talking to people, and what I noticed that helped me a lot is complementing someone about anything, that can be looks or something they have and that will help break the ice for most people, but also understanding body language which is the best thing to learn because this helps with engaging with people if they even want to talk or not. I am not gonna lie you will get rejected or feel awkward but the more you embrace it you will just blow through it and adapt it’s all about adapting, for me personally I don’t even give a flying f**k anymore and I just talk to any one, and pick and choose your battles I realized it’s best to talk to someone with interest and not just getting something out of anyone.
I'm whatching that video and realizing that I am on the right path. Just ended a 2 year relationship last week and feeling alive again after years. I'm not very into dating right now but I want to know people so I started to yhink about how to approach girls and steped over your chanel. it's a life-changing bro, you helped me so much and I am only following you for less then 1 week. Today I approach a girl at the gym and it was smooth. When you have some life baggage you know that a rejection can't hurt you this bad and the enemy is on our heads. Thank you brother, hugs from a brazilian friend. come to brasil and lets f*** some brazilian chicks like you said before.
"My biggest problem in life was overcoming myself - but once I defeated myself, all that was left, was peace" Kevin Gates - Push it Self awareness is key and a core value to being/becoming confident in yourself among many other things. But once you master 1 thing the easier it is to gain and maintain the others. And if it truly is meant to be she will come along eventually, and if she doesn't you havent lost yourself in trying so hard to find her. Great video bro 👊
I normaly dont write comments on youtube, but this video , just made a change in my mindset, so mutch, that i felt i had to say something. Thanks for everything.
I would love to say first in for most that I greatly appreciate the content that you create. I’ve watched several of your videos over the last few months about girls and it has helped me a lot and made me feel more confident in myself.
“Whatever you believe is what you are.” Underrated statement that more people need to pay attention to. Get your mental straight before walking into a situation that requires confidence whether that’s a job interview, talking to a girl or whatever else.
That's only true to a certain degree, I tried that, yes it helps a little, but ultimately you can't really force other to feel a certain way about you
@@kulik03 Then its there loss. Most people can see this mindset as narcissistic or arrogant but as long as you go about it a right way and truly think of yourself as someone that can live a life you truly love with confidence you will be successful and if they dont want that then they will miss out.
Mental health*
you can still force the situation and your brain will ease that and help you without mental health as the video said but I prefer have both mental health and mindset
BIG vibe brother
Overthinking is a terrible burden. It doesnt just get in the way of dating but it also creates blockages in every other element of life as well
facts
Dude, I am 53 years old and am very impressed with your knowledge and insightfulness, especially given your age. I got divorced after being married 6 years and in the relationship for 11 years. I loved this woman more than words could describe. She left me at the same time my Dad died. I was monkey-branched and needless to say, I was devastated.
I suffered a severe depression that I only just came out of. I lost all confidence in myself, and all the bullshit that comes with that. This vid was really eye-opening and extremely helpful to me. For 3 years, I have been pining the loss of my marriage. My wife was my best friend, and my life felt empty without her. I did everything wrong after the break-up. Short of begging, I did everything to get her back which only served to push her further away. I was suffering from "oneitis". I have since learned my value and worth, and will never act as weak again. I am not ready to date yet, because I am stilled fucked up to a degree. But, I am starting to get my head on straight, have started working out and have saved this video for future reference, should I need a reminder of my importance. Thank you, my friend. Very valuable information that even an old dog like me can use. Cheers!
Never alone brother. Keep at it. ✊🏼
glad this helped you my G
I know exactly how you feel. My wife divorced me and I lost all confidence to the point I've not been able to even get a date in over 3 years
I am 18 and feel like I should be single for life and do my own thing and when I start driving I'm gonna live the life I always wanted
when you experience it even once similar to what you went through with that one woman you just can't trust them anymore, look at them the same and start despise them honestly
I can't bring myself to even go to find one night stand without a disgust because now I know what is she thinking, how she operates in life and what motivates her
shit is revolting
Something interesting to note - we are born with confidence. A baby or child isn't worried about their self-image, until they are told by their parents/peers that they shouldn't be themselves. Confidence isn't something that you need to "gain", it's something you need to reclaim.
No, by definition confidence is something that you gain. A baby doesn’t have confidence since they don’t have the mental faculties to understand confidence as a concept, self image, or skill in a certain area
sounds good but it is just incorrect
I had more confidence when I was 14/15 than I do at 29/30. This world really does take from you.
@@mealovesyu I don't disagree with what you're saying, and I think it just further proves my point. Confidence doesn't need to be understood to be possessed. A baby completely depends on its parents when it's born. Assuming it is not neglected, that innate trust is what allows it to explore the world without questioning any ideas of itself, since it literally can't yet. It's only through the outside world that that confidence can be betrayed and diminished. Without that trust that is hardwired into us, babies would not walk, talk, or do anything, for fear that they would mess up.
@@mateaukalua4426 i thought I was the only one that feel this
Man is giving out PRICELESS ADVICE. Protect Jack at all costs.
glad it helped you man! Share it with your friends
@@Denmosocial Absolutely will my man! You deserve SIGNIFICANTLY more traction brother, keep it up.
@@Denmosocial Is dating still a thing in 2023?
This is really good advice
This will be a certified hood classic
Nothing hood about it. ✊🏻
Already is
🤣
“Dayum son where’d ya find this…” IYKYK 😅. 🔥
highest praise a man can receive
Half a year ago i approached 5 girls in one week because i was feeling well mentally and confident and momentum helped me alot.
Now after going through something that rattled my self confidence abit and caused depression, i havent been able to approach anybody for at least a month because of overthinking and self image issues..
This video was a wake up call. Thank you. I hope to fix everything soon.
How successful were you with those 5?
we gotchu brother
Not soon, now
I'm a woman who has been super nervous to go up and talk to guys because of fear of rejection. I'm assuming your advice is intended for men, but your perspective on getting rejected is refreshing.
love that! welcome to the channel
I'll be 100% honest. Guys are simple. Smile, laugh, and be friendly. You'll probably get a date easy. You can do it
Assuming you're not obese and are somewhat attractive, you'll get very positive reactions
@@kulik03 True. I forgot to mention that women below a 5 are going to struggle. Whether that's obesity or really bad genetics
Trust me some of us are hella east but don’t take it for granted some dudes will catch on and leave just be chill honest and take it slow and don’t focus on fucking up we all tend to do that men and women we tend to focus on the negative parts.
Few of months ago I left a comment on one of your community posts asking what I can do as a super short guy to get girls. Crazy thing is I’ve gotten laid before but it had been a couple years. Over covid I started consuming so much content that I started to think I could never attract a girl. Then couple months ago I met a similarly short guy who approaches and gets laid and started hanging out w him. My perspective has changed completely and I’ve gotten laid this summer
legendary man cant wait to hear your success stories
That last thing about confidence hits home hard. I had it once. Which means I’ll get it again. Thanks Denmo.
i gotchu brother
These are very wise words. In the last three months I've been through a bit of a rollercoaster: I fell in to the black pill trap for a few weeks after trying dating apps with zero success (Because I didn't know what I was doing) and it took a few weeks to extricate myself from it. Then I had an epiphany, and I decided to fight back. I unsubscribed and blocked the black pill channels, and looked in to residual self image: The physical projection of my mental self. I started styling and gelling my hair, bought some new clothes to show off my weight loss, started looking after my skin properly, worked on eye contact and watched a lot of videos (Many from this channel) to see how to cold approach. I've gone from walking along and keeping my eyes down to making eye contact with everyone, my head held up high. I cold approach a couple of women every day just to practise, and I've had dates and a couple of hook-ups because of my chatting up. I've even had two girls approach me first, something that never happened before.
Confidence is king.
Impressive! Well done man 👍
Man I’ve been staying in this loop of drinking and stuck in a hole and letting it continue. My homie gave me a motivational talk the other night when the shit with the last girl kinda fell through. You mentioned exactly who I am currently at the start of this video, I’m flawed, I’ve been at the gym everyday trying to do the best I can and I need to take a step back from women and really make myself the person I should be. Deleted social media and dating apps and I’m going for it for real. I appreciate you bro for real.
Hope it works out man.
you got this bro we gonna all win
@@chefboiardeeznutz9881 wtf is that name and profile pic 😆
@@Military.FutureUrbanCamo you want me to actually explain the origins of my UA-cam name? Lol
Stop making excuses, start meeting girls. But do it on your own terms.
Learn how to get a girlfriend in under 2 months: www.denmo.social/socializer
Need to say bro a lot less. Other than that, it’s really really good content and uplifting advice for us bros/fellas
I don’t see the journaling video in the description
@@christophera-realone9834 he talks the way he talks. He can say bro as much as he wants dude lol
@@elimunche must've forgot just search "journaling denmo"
yeee
Hi Denmo! Comment virgin. I'm a 31 y/o disabled veteran who's finally getting his life together. I have been out of the social world for like 8 years. I completely regressed and hid from the world b/c it hurt me in the past. I have depression and anxiety. I have stopped smoking cigarettes, weed, started going to the gym since last February, deleted dating apps, volunteer at my church, and I started college again yesterday! I would say that things are definitely getting better for me. I am a very intelligent person. I went into the military righto out of highschool and became an air traffic controller. That messed up my head bad bro and I lost my wife because of my mental health. I really appreciate you making these videos. Your approach and casual demeanor really get through to me. Despite all of the progress I've made, I still have a lot of issues with confidence b/c I'm still behind compared to other men my age.
Tell me bro why you always have such a great timing with your vids? I needed it rn. I was thinking about it already for weeks that before I'm gonna approach girls I have to get my head right, because after my breakup I lost my self-confidence and it's all fucked up rn, but at the same time I refused to acknowledge it, because I want somebody in my life and I didn't want to wait. But it's true that all the great things in life come with patience and work. Just needed to hear it from someone else, from one of my mentors. It also hit close to home when you was talking 'bout overthinking part, because I've always been more sensitive and aware than other people and because of that it's often hard for me to communicate with others. I'm gonna work on my head, I got it. Thanks bro!
PS. I liked the format of this video, a little bit more serious than always, but still with humor. Keep doing them like that 👌
Jack bro. I was at the gym and when I was leaving I grew the balls to tell this girl that works there a joke and make her laugh. Didn’t ask for her number bc she works there and I’ll see her again. Love the vids bro
I was married for 3 years, together for 10 years, since 9 months ago i got a divorce, my heart was broken, i never approached a girl for so many years, i don't how this changed, i'm 37 now and trying to get over it, i talked to a girl at a fast food place, she rejected me, she instantly felt my anxiety, i'm trying to better myself, i quit smoking and will join a GYM membership, i know my life is not lost, watching you videos trying to get on the right path.
You're really young yet already so experienced. Many women would value this. As for this video "do not overthink this bro" said they guy who also overthinks. It really ain't rocket science. So end this pity party, pull yourself together, look decent and try to smell nicely and put yourself out there bravely. Divorces happens. Shit happens. To decent people of both sexes. To some women too. As for being rejected, well, you may always get rejected just because someone else is not looking to date anyone at certain point in their life. Does not mean it has anything to do with you really. Try to seek people who are seeking to date or meet someone. Since otheriwse you may get rejected just because the other side does not seek to date anyone. That's all.
@@agatastaniak7459 Tnx, i hope you suceed in life !
I sat and watched the whole video without distractions and it felt awesome. This video really helped because I've been struggling to cold approach and I've been trying but i can't approach because i am constantly overthinking and my mental health isn't that right, now.
well done my man
Yea exactly same
ended up striking a conversation with my gym crush today and honestly i wasnt exactly confident and couldnt make proper eye contact but regardless of that she was talking to me and smiling and overall positive energy, i almost slipped off the treadmill as well it was a complete mess but it made her laugh, whether if she likes me or not, i managed to overcome my social anxiety and talked to the girl i like it felt amazing, it really is as simple as stop overthinking and just go talk to her
Totally feel you on that, bro. Congratulations btw! I'm looking forward to taking that same step as well.
Slipped off the treadmill 😂😂😂
@@ryan6600 yeah lol it was embarassing but i didnt think too much of it gonna ask her if she liked my moonwalk yesterday 😭😭😭💀💀💀
proud of you G
U just got a sub brother, thank you for this.
After a breakup of a 3.5 year relationship with my ex fiancée, I fell hard with my confidence and self thought. Now 3 months later been working on my physical and mental health and back in school... feeling better already 😊 hang in there boys
Same here just got out of a 3 year toxic relationship doing the work is what got me out of it
glad I earned your sub my man
I absolutely overthink and take myself too seriously in the head, I definitely needed this video. It made me realize somethings i gotta change when i get back in school after break. Thanks Jack!
Thanks for the video man. I’m still getting my head right.
Absolutely great video! Provided tons of clarity and direction. I'm going to talk to girls today.
So pathetic that talking to a girl is a huge milestone in my month.
Hey man, everyone has got to start somewhere. Talk to girls more and more and soon you’ll be desensitized to it. It’ll be like a walk in the park
Would be appreciated if you tell us how u did dude✌️✌️
@@Robixino Yesterday was a downer. Only interactions were talking to baristas at the coffee shop, but at least it was a pleasant conversation. Hitting the town square today!
@@dudydude3287 hey, it´s always good to start small, building confidence along the way until you hit the big one! Every interaction counts! Crossing my fingers for you, you got this!
@@dudydude3287Your doing what 99% of guys aren’t willing to do. Keep pushing yourself and you will become more comfortable to the point where it’s natural
I have approached girls in person only about 3 times tho, last time I did it I was actually feeling very confident that day and was having a good day hanging with my buddy so I was very warmed up, the interactions went well but she told me she had a boyfriend, but I realized at the time it was a blessing bc I knew my mental health still wasn’t in good shape and it hasn’t been for weeks… so I’m happy I stumbled across this video and I am definitely using it as a wake up call
How is this man just able to spit straight-up informative and constructive content throughout 25 minutes of video? It just baffles me how I'm having my mind blown every 3-5 minutes in the video.
This is very necessary for those who feel like they don't have much of a ground to stand on. Me personally, I can relate with most of the things he says that men usually are. We're unconfident, we're overthinkers, we don't have our shit straight, and that's why we demonize talking to women so much. It's also all of these toxic traits that we tend to develop as we delve deeper into the social media hole that keeps us even more from performing well. Putting women on pedestals before even knowing them, downplaying yourself into thinking you're not enough, picturing unsuccessful scenarios in your head before you've even said a simple "Hello", and the list goes on.
I also like how Denmo points out the necessity to have a warm-up, similarly to how you warm up at the gym before working out. There's a reason why cold approaches are tough, and that's usually why. If you think about it, everything in life derives from a skill you've been working on and perfecting throughout your life, from something as simple as chewing food to something like socializing and being a good communicator, and you can't expect momentum if you're not practicing, so it is crucial that we get used to having quick interactions with strangers or try and make new friends at any new place you go to.
Even for an introvert, we never know, but we might appreciate the talk sometimes.
Nobody ever gets everything all the way in order. But at least try to get yourself there.
Thank you Jack, I started watching your videos around a month ago when i was watching all these other UA-camrs explain on how to talk to girls, however none of them helped me as much as you did, and because of your help I was able to break through the limits and proved the haters all wrong and I'm continuing to surprise myself and keep growing, and the information you give is priceless :)
I was doing some thinking over the past few hours and I may have realized the core issue of my dating struggles is that I tend to get so discouraged when it comes to these situations, especially if a girl is with or talking to another guy, then I immediately assume that they have a thing together (which may or may not be true). These past couple of months, I have felt pretty good with a job and weeding out some losers who did me wrong, but I definitely still have work to do, and I will be happy knowing that I can work it out and take it one step at a time.
Theres always branches shedding from the friend tree. Some weed themselves off others need to be cut. You just have to be vigilant in life how your network is doing
My first gym approach this year, was after one of your vids about this. I wasn't new to it, but hadn't for a while. First one was awkward but still greet her like a human being. Two out of four turned in to meaningful dates. All of them seemed appreciative in the end. It's mind blowing how fast one (me at least) adapts to this and how satisfying it is. I have the best experience being direct for congruency reasons, but could understand other views here
i'm 25 and i want to start talking to girls on the street, you are giving me the knowledge and advice that i need to learn and hear. thank you so much for what you do, please, never change.
This has made me feel a lot better!
Just got over a girl I was talking to for a while after she cut ties with because of a misunderstanding.
My mental state is absolutely f*cked and it's a good idea to deal with that before anything!
I remember a lyric from a wrong that mentioned how to love somebody you have to learn to love yourself. I get it a little more now. Thanks Bro.
Ive been walking around and asking girls random questions like "where is the train station" and it's not negative per say but it's also not really positive. A lot of times they look like they just don't want to talk to anyone, sometimes they don't even respond, but just point into a direction.
I think if you are not tall you have to really compensate somehow
That's true I am average height and I have literally had maybe a dozen women who were 60 to 80 years old flirt with me in the last 2 weeks.
Finally a reasonable take on cold approaches.
People, in general, don't want you to just randomly talk to them when they are going about their day.
This is true in any context, but _especially_ for women not wanting guys to hit them up.
Since i start changing my mental health , with gym, medidation and removing all the negative thoughts and addictions i start becoming more alive and confident. I fell i can embrace every challenge and win it, i adapted myself to do the hard work and now it feels that talking with strangers it´s more easy or even with girls atleast i try to not hesitate and have the right mindset to overcome my anxiety to talk with her. Also, i stop using dating apps because i realize that the real girls are in the real world and i can see now that i don´t need to be perfect to attract girls, since now i can easly attract girls with my positive aurea and with my confident posture, i know i am good what i do , i don´t need validation of people to tell me that. Finally, I can say that healing our brain, put us on the right path of life.
jack... thanks for putting this out. i'm not an avid watcher of your videos, but i pop in here and there, and often resonate a little with your content.
this one hit home. it's all in the head. i'm satisfied with everything in my life right now except for my dating scene. while ive built up a lot of confidence in the past few years, i let not only my socialization abilities, but my self image get stuck in a frame where i am always "not _____ enough" to consistently talk to not only women of romantic interest, but complete strangers as well. i cared wayyyyy too much about what strangers think of me. this marks the day i break free from the frame. starting this morning, i made the commitment to talk to a random stranger every day until it feels normal. this includes women of romantic interest, and i'll finally stop depriving myself of what i long for- a genuine human connection.
all the love, bro
I wasted my whole vacation finding girls on tinder and bumble and forgot that how confident I was a year ago, that I had convinced a stranger beautiful girl to carry my luggage plus to get me a free metro ticket without hesitating for a second before approaching her that's other thing that did not ask for her number that moment but still, these dating apps has paralysed me 😓 never gonna use them again
I really agree with you about getting your shit together. Once I've got my mind state in control everything started to go better, not only about talking to girls, also too in other Aspects..
I love your videos, keep doing it 🫡
Don’t care about the outcome is my single best piece of advice. If you don’t care how she reacts, it’s so much easier to say whatever. You win either way. If she won’t go for it, move onto something else.
But that disrespect you open yourself up to 😂😂. I am not giving anyone a free opportunity to diss me. All people need is a small window and they will take that moment to do it.
My first comment on a youtube video. This gave me a lot of clarity. I've been told by friends and family that I need to love myself more, in other words get my head right, then things will sort themselves out. I workout, got a good education and a job. I also have good friends and this year I've been active, socializing and going on adventures. I find it easier to talk to strangers and had some luck with women. However I still need to work on my mental health. Have to keep going, meet new people, have fun and beat the anxieties.
Denmo, i be lurking but i'm actually applying this shite, started working out, watching my diet, had a great convo with a girl on the train and gave her my number, also noticing that people in my friend group are looking to me for decisions more. So thanks man, i think the path forward has been carved for me. We're all gunna make it if we put the work in 😎
Don’t ever give a woman YOUR number wtf. Always get HER number
@@Xanivert phone was dead, did what i could brooooo 🤷♂️
Hell Yeah bro! congrats
Thanks man. I needed to hear this. Hookups have became a drug for me in a way and I began to feel that when I went a while without one that I’m beginning to go downhill or something and I just need ti get away from it. You’re a legend Denmo👏🏼
I just broke up with my girlfriend, Jack Its been 5 years since i've been in a relationshihp and this year I finally got one, albeit we met on Tinder but we rly vibed together and shared a lot in common. Your videos inspired something deep within me to want to better myself and it only took a few months for me to completely 180 the trajectory of my life. Cheers, I stopped making excuses and started meeting girls
cheers bro you got this. hope to see you in my community
This shit is spot on! At 32 going 33 as a single dad struggling to stay afloat and coasting in life. I’ve felt numb and isolated and feel just like the person you described. I want to change that and need to add value to myself and change the narrative.
This advice is worth its weight in gold. I genuinely believe that you're giving some of the best advice I've seen on UA-cam to date. You don't tell people to just do this or that; you actually talk about how it's going to be hard (hard is usually an understatement). An example would be how you say to take control over your actions, such as entertainment (video games, TikTok, etc.). Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time I've received advice like this; it's not difficult to find. However, you're one of the few who have said to take control over it instead of 'simply' cutting it out completely.
Many people like to get on UA-cam and get all motivated and whatnot, but that honestly doesn't last more than a few hours. I can personally attest that getting rid of entertainment and social media is far from the best choice you can make unless you're genuinely addicted. Don't misunderstand, when you get rid of a habit, you WILL replace it with another. At the beginning of this year, I got rid of all social media platforms and heavily limited my entertainment consumption by switching to a flip phone and getting rid of all my other devices besides my computer for school. I essentially replaced that habit with sleep for about two months before I decided to stop procrastinating and grabbed some books (since I felt it would be a contradiction to use UA-cam) on building good habits and self-improvement.
Needless to say, trying to immediately replace bad habits with good ones is a terrible idea. It's the equivalent of throwing yourself into a raging river to learn how to swim. I'm not saying it's impossible. I've seen this work for others and even myself. A good example is that around a month ago, I had been studying for around an hour a day for a test while still getting nine hours of sleep and giving myself time to indulge. I was down to the last two days of studying before the test, and I literally dedicated every second of my free time to studying. I mean, I was eating while filling out practice quizzes, brushing my teeth while replaying the lectures, and reviewing the concepts even while on the toilet. Since those two days, I've been extremely diligent with my studying and often choose to study before letting myself indulge in whatever I'd rather do.
So yes, jumping into the river is effective, but only if you don't drown. In my case, 'drowning' would have meant simply giving up and letting myself fail. Instead, I sacrificed my free time and extra hours of sleep to push through and achieve my goal of understanding the concepts enough for the test. I think it's most important to not throw yourself into the river, though. Instead, build up to it. Go to the shallow pool and get used to the water until you feel comfortable (build up a habit of just showing up to the pool), understand how to swim in the first place (attain knowledge regarding the habit), try to find someone to help you throughout the journey (someone who already understands and demonstrates that habit), practice what you've learned and get comfortable with your skill level (build up to a high understanding of the habit), and lastly, go for a swim in that damned river.
So yeah, that's what I wanted to comment about. I really just wanted to emphasize the idea of slowly building habits, as I feel it was only briefly mentioned here, and I would argue it's an important aspect of making progress in 'getting your head right.' I loved the video and look forward to watching more in the future!
you told me to comment I'm doing everything you have talked about here wish me luck ill make it happen thank you for being an inspiration my guy.
Truly a great refresher to see videos like these again. Sometimes you find yourself in a rut, but videos like these help you keep improving. Amazing content Denmo!!
Honest, genuine, relevant, accurate, and powerful message. Love your communication style. It's fun yet direct. Thank you for enhancing our light with yours my friend. 👏🙏🙌
I got my head right before dating and I’m happily in a relationship for almost a year. One thing self improvement youtubers don’t talk about is the transition itself. From being single and optimizing for a mate, to in a relationship with said mate. You will find you need to cut a lot of shit away that you learned or made habits of doing. And this takes months to do as your mental state often lags behind your reality via imposter syndrome. You are in a relationship and know you are but for a while your mind doesn’t quite adjust. And you need to learn many things on the fly that no one really taught you bc most self improvement youtubers aren’t in long relationships. The more you get ur mind right beforehand, the better the transition will be. But still all these YT channels act like getting the girl is the final goal. It’s SO overly romanticized. When the reality is then finding ways to retain said girl, make her happy, and find your best way to love her while still staying on the grind. Theory can only get you so far lol. Reality and practice is a different ball game. I wish content on maintaining relationships could be more prevalent online.
Thanks for the video man, I have been working through my mental health before watching this video but it's nice to hear that I'm on the right track.
To all my brothers and sisters: The quote is simple. Instant Gratification is the route to an empty life.
Hey, leaving a comment for the algorithm. You’re helping me and so many other people out man. Social Anxiety is such bullshit
hell yeah. share it with your friends if they need help too
Can’t thank you enough for all the positive you’ve brought to my everyday life. Love you denmo ❤
uuh mental health is everything, damn this guy is right!!!! thank you bro (that was actually my first comment lmao)
I don't usually commenting on a video, but since you asked me to I just wanna say I appreciate you for helping guys like me to get our heads right in dating. Thank you John 3:16!
Man this was such an eye opener. I'm doing everything right, eating healthy, working out and looking after myself in general but I realised I need to get off the dating apps and start just talking to girls and not worry about rejection. Thank you bro
I am happy that i found your channel, you give me positive vibes and have great advice, God bless you sir.
Thank you for not being like these toxic content creators who spread incel ideas.
Bro is so real, whatever is on your mind will flow right out
Having a clean room, clean house, clean car, clean haircut… these things can make or break you I was letting these things go by because I was “focused” on my goal
All these things have been clean for me for ages, and it hasnt changed my life lol
@@kulik03just shower bro. The only thing that worked for me is traveling abroad to countries where I’m a bit more desirable.
So about two years ago, my fiancee left me, saying she doesn't love me anymore. I was devastated, but i managed to get through it. But honestly, I never really worked through it, just "survived" it, so after I met another girl, the shadow of my past relationship was still here, and because of that I was not treating her as I should and this relationship also fell apart. It was a month ago or so, and I finally felt that it was last straw, and with all of the other hardships in my life i felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. So I decided to go to psychologist to try to get my mind on the right path. I started forcing myself to do things that i want to do, but lacked motivation to do before. Your videos are great help, as it gives me some kind of different perspective. You are doing great job with that!
I can't even be devastated. Love is an illusion.
Autistic guy here who can approach girls and is trying to date but my confidence isn’t the best this video has definitely helped me being more aware of my situation and how to better myself so thank you jack
keep up the good work brother
Hello i have asd too. I ve been trying to meet people and girls in college but most dont seem interested in me after we ve had a brief conversation. It's like they get repulsed by something evem though im above arerage looks wise. Do you have any tips with what has worked for you?
@@artemis3736 okay I get you first you should get this in your head first there is gonna be people like that and girls I know it sucks but it’s just something that is a thing unfortunately I’d say when your talking main thing would be find the common interest it helps a lot just don’t over share the thing you are interested because that’s a thing people like us like to do so that’s for socials for girls I haven’t mastered it yet but my advice is keep putting yourself out there and be willing to meet someone in any situation and hopefully will lead to something I’ve had a little success myself so as long as you keep all that in mind plus what Jack covers in the video you should be good luck bro I know how hard it is but we will succeed together
@@artemis3736 another thing to add on stay off dating apps they are terrible and try meet women in public and try stay off social media it gives men no hope with women with all those podcasts and stuff good luck bro will be here in comment section if you need anymore help
you got this homie
MAN I literally never commenting under videos becaue I though it would be completely useless. But now you mentioning the fact that 90 % off all people watching youtube are lurkers, I felt adressed by that so much so made a comment. Thank you for your advises, love you man.
I agree with what you are saying about cold approaching, but I had a really weird experience. I am naturally handsome and also communicative, and I've been cold approaching girls at streets/subway/gym over a year and got some good feedback, but it led afterwards to flakes/ghosting and also a few dates and hookups, but nothing serious. Then I was sick and downloaded tinder just for fun, and the first day I matched with a cute girl I've been happily dating now for more than a year
I suppose you fall into the "10% of successful guys" category he mentions in the video, since dating apps are not a total bust, but a very selective environment that not many people are graced with having success out of them.
Everything in life is a chance, there’s many people who met online
ur really helping people out with all this, ur appreciated brother.
This is spot on. I got a question to the community though: How do you guys go about approach anxiety? And I do not mean "normal" approach anxiety but actually rather deeply rooted anxiety. Cause even though I am pretty confident, got my career sorted out and all, I sometimes have really bad days. Mainly due to service related experiences (I used to work as a fire fighter and have seen things that sometimes pop up).
Would be great to hear from you.
I’m with you man haha
Therapy helps
Look up box breathing. It'll help calm you down. Also don't have any expectations. Good practice is old ladies. They're usually really friendly and you're probably not worrying about getting a date and you'll still be talking to a woman.
Anxiety is rooted in fear. Conquer your fear, the anxiety goes away.
It's easy to simply ask workers questions at the store like where's the restroom or the chips at.
Fml, this video exactly outlined my situation. I gotta get my shit together, get friends, actually feel competent....because honestly rn it's exactly what Denmo is saying - I hesitate & overthink and it's extremely frustrating. I say this in an attempt to put it in writing, if you will, and make others realize from a different perspective. God bless.
"It's all starts within". Thank you for saying that.
For me, I have basically everything going for me and somehow (I know how, too complicated to say) I got depression at 33 as someone who never conceived it was possible. It took almost two years to fix my negative thought pattern, the only solution that worked was to build muscle, stop too much cardio (I do a duck load of cardio), and remind myself constantly of my value with visualization / affirmations and finding better friends. Very long, slow, and not a very direct process, but somehow I know it would work every time.
Sounds good.
Hey Denmo, thank you for popping my YT comment cherry, I was a lurker for most of my life, thank you for the gentle push to act, keep up the good content
Boys would yall date a taller girl? Like if yes comment if no
Most probably not
Depends if she’s my height or around the same height (6’1) then maybe but is she’s taller than me, most likely not
Bang her? Sure. Date her seriously? Probably not, I'm cool with being the same height though
@@jaziel6493 what do you generally think about couples where the dude is shorter
Yess
Needed to hear this, been adding stuff on when I really need to say goodbye to the bad parts of myself and work from there. Thanks man!
Lately i find it very hard to watch your videos because of my dumb tiktok brain, 25 Minutes is just too long
Denmo's changed my perspective and improved my social skills.
So many L takes. Final straw was referencing Tate. “Internet is bad, take my internet class”. “It was more superficial during your dads time” while literally living in the most interconnected superficial times of history 😂. So many contradictions.
U took my UA-cam comment virginity lmao, in all seriousness I tried adding things to my life to become more confident but this vid made me realize I just gotta stop doing negative shit and go on from there. Thanks
The standards of girls have gone up significantly due to social media and dating apps. Guys must stand out if they want a shot at the hot girls. Be it having lots of money, good looking, tall, high status, charisma, funny, charming, great personality or having engaging conversation skills and vibe/energy that girls want to be around you.
@soenkevenjacob I would reframe from sad, if you ever played a sport and liked the competition then that's how I would look at it
To the winner goes the spoils
Thanks for helping me with some of my insecurities and getting out of my own comfort zone. It's taken ages to actually take action but ya know... at least it's happening. Thanks for that
Thank you for the authentic content bro. Grateful to have a brother like you!
I feel you with the not taking stuff too seriously part
What a timely video, I’ve been working on my mental state for months and trying to gain confidence. And I think you’re right about experience and having value to provide. If you have value and you’ve gone through some hard times you know you will survive and have the confidence to walk away from things that don’t serve you. The abundance mindset is key
Comment this USA dude. As far as I've seen, and I've seen a fair bit, you have a pretty unique take on getting your life in order. None of this demotivating "You suck, take a look at me" content. And a valuable take on the IRL factor we youtube lurkers lack now and then. Thank you man.
Been listening to a tremendous amount of shit lately. This was a good hit man. You're right. Way too much focus on a everything else rather than bringing my energy back and working on my own self image.
Take a step back. Breathe. I got this.
Duuuuuude this is my fav video of yours so far. The dating app thing got me. My game was on point, my day game was great and natural and soon as dating apps and smartphones came to rise my shit started to slowly take a dive; i got complacent n lazy
Wow ,thanks for the advice.
One thing I’ve realised about most things in life in general is that the less you think about it , the better you perform doing it.
The more videos you watch about getting better at game or dating , the more you thjnk about how bad you are compared to the guys in the video.
So stop watching and start doing.
Bro just took my youtube comment virginity. Your such an inspiration to me, dont ever stop the content. ❤
Thank you Jack, you‘re always coming up with stuff that needs to be heared.
It's a true thing about comments.
When i force my brain to talk about the video, more likely, I do something that I learn watching it.
Keep pushing, mate!
-🇧🇷
Bro you got me, I don't comment on anything. I guess I'm a lurker. But honestly this hit pretty hard. Thank you I really needed this.
Great perspective, it’s important to remember that self confidence is attractive to everyone. Guys just have to get off all these negative UA-cam Red Pill channels because most of these people are just grifters who are trying to make people upset because they know that makes them easier to take advantage of and keeps them coming back looking for answers
Quality content bro. A lot of guys need to see this.
Im about to do a big career change and move back near family, no lurking for me today. Only good vibes and the certainty that I will see and talk to any girl I want, thanks denmo.
Most of the things u said the younger me needed but what I found from here is the the answer I’ve been wanting to answer myself. Focus on myself. My Life is fine and it’s good it’s got bumps but the only thing I should be focused on is my career thank you 🙏🏽
I'm 22 year old guy who never had a girlfriend and.not even have female friends. I just don't understand how dating works. A lot of women likes me because of my physical body And how the way I dressed but the problem is I dont know how to get those girls even if they like me😢😢 I feel like I'm goimg to bw songle forever
You are right I have never commented on a video. Thank you for the reality check.
I love that you talk about mental health that much. A topic that definately needs more attention.
You're right man I should be leaving comments. And honestly I'm humble enough to admit this is my first one. You make solid content, honestly, you said the most important line about halfway through. It's not that complicated. 👌
Like the advice, legit I know it’s hard for people to talk to girls, but all honesty if you aren’t a social person, just randomly start talking to people, and what I noticed that helped me a lot is complementing someone about anything, that can be looks or something they have and that will help break the ice for most people, but also understanding body language which is the best thing to learn because this helps with engaging with people if they even want to talk or not. I am not gonna lie you will get rejected or feel awkward but the more you embrace it you will just blow through it and adapt it’s all about adapting, for me personally I don’t even give a flying f**k anymore and I just talk to any one, and pick and choose your battles I realized it’s best to talk to someone with interest and not just getting something out of anyone.
I'm whatching that video and realizing that I am on the right path. Just ended a 2 year relationship last week and feeling alive again after years. I'm not very into dating right now but I want to know people so I started to yhink about how to approach girls and steped over your chanel. it's a life-changing bro, you helped me so much and I am only following you for less then 1 week. Today I approach a girl at the gym and it was smooth. When you have some life baggage you know that a rejection can't hurt you this bad and the enemy is on our heads. Thank you brother, hugs from a brazilian friend. come to brasil and lets f*** some brazilian chicks like you said before.
"My biggest problem in life was overcoming myself - but once I defeated myself, all that was left, was peace"
Kevin Gates - Push it
Self awareness is key and a core value to being/becoming confident in yourself among many other things. But once you master 1 thing the easier it is to gain and maintain the others. And if it truly is meant to be she will come along eventually, and if she doesn't you havent lost yourself in trying so hard to find her. Great video bro 👊
You took my comment virginity lol. Loving watching and learning from you while translating it into my life.
I normaly dont write comments on youtube, but this video , just made a change in my mindset, so mutch, that i felt i had to say something. Thanks for everything.
I would love to say first in for most that I greatly appreciate the content that you create. I’ve watched several of your videos over the last few months about girls and it has helped me a lot and made me feel more confident in myself.
The timing is so perfect man, I needed this vid rn