You'll Wish You Had Kids When Your Spouse Is Gone

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  • Опубліковано 29 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 33

  • @kristinau169
    @kristinau169 3 місяці тому +27

    “Children are not a guarantee for companionship” ! This.

  • @caraa.4944
    @caraa.4944 3 місяці тому +28

    I am childfree by choice, 72, and a widow of 15+ years. Honestly, I think having a child (even grown) would have made the grieving process more difficult for me. I have always been quite independent and while the grieving process takes time, I found many tasks associated with losing my late husband helped me through the initial shock and eventual adaptation. Love your channel, keep up the great content.

  • @reenal.upadhayayay
    @reenal.upadhayayay Місяць тому +2

    So many times I've heard how children just neglect their parents when they've become an adult. So no, it's not guaranteed.

  • @heroldjaras9909
    @heroldjaras9909 3 місяці тому +28

    i dont have a spouse and i dont have children, life continues

    • @soapaddict09
      @soapaddict09 3 місяці тому +4

      Same. And am in no hurry for a SO. If I find that person, great. If not, oh well.

    • @milliem8051
      @milliem8051 3 місяці тому +3

      Same. I make the best of being on my own.

    • @scorpionqueen66
      @scorpionqueen66 3 місяці тому +4

      Same here at 57, almost 58!!! And I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever!!! Single, no kids and celibate and living my life on MY terms, always and forever!!!!

    • @HaleyMary
      @HaleyMary 3 місяці тому

      Same here. I hope to have a spouse or at least a common-law partner someday. I don't want to have kids. Pets can also make great companions.

  • @trevagraham1605
    @trevagraham1605 3 місяці тому +31

    Every comment breeders come up with on why a person should have children is extremely flawed. If my wife passes before I do why would I expect that my adult children would spend a lot of time with me? I'm content with spending my life by myself, but I also have friends. People that fear being alone are probably people that no one wants to be around.

    • @swatisaini6447
      @swatisaini6447 3 місяці тому +7

      That last line is savage af😂

    • @trevagraham1605
      @trevagraham1605 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@swatisaini6447Greatness recognizes greatness. Thank you!

  • @SweetlyDarkArt
    @SweetlyDarkArt 3 місяці тому +13

    Being the oldest of 7 and the third parent, all I ever see with kids is work and nothing really fulfilling about it. I was constantly drained and under stress 24/7 when helping to raise all my siblings until I finally left home for good. I can't see ever bonding with kids let alone a spouse. I'm already done with it all.

  • @skyeharvest
    @skyeharvest 9 днів тому +2

    My partner died in 2023 and I'm VERY happy we did not have a child... I would have been so miserable raising a child alone.

    • @diaryofthechildfree
      @diaryofthechildfree  9 днів тому +2

      @@skyeharvest Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that! The loss of a partner is particularly hard. 😣 That would surely be a difficult situation to be thrown into in so many ways. I can imagine the immense heartache you must have experienced and although it may be considered wishful thinking, I hope everyday gets a little bit easier and that you have plenty of memories to hold onto forever! ❤️

  • @user-blob
    @user-blob 3 місяці тому +9

    You always make fantastic points in a really open way.
    Though you’re childfree, I think you’re a great role model for young women 😁

  • @susamirain
    @susamirain 3 місяці тому +8

    Wonderful ! Thanks for addressing this kind of thinking and it really brings up the mood of the childfree who may feel stressed by people who say this to them. You are so appreciated.

  • @LiamODonovan-l6e
    @LiamODonovan-l6e 3 місяці тому +7

    You are awesome kelsey and you are just as valid in your decision to be childfree. Always love your channel

  • @sakinastraveldiary4562
    @sakinastraveldiary4562 3 місяці тому +6

    In India, parents are petrified because they think if one spouse dies their children will ask to sell their property and they will be on the road LOL

  • @chadguindon6909
    @chadguindon6909 3 місяці тому +5

    I’m single/unmarried and childfree all by choice, I am perfectly fine with aging and dying alone. One reason I could NEVER be a D.I.N.K (Double Income No Kids) because the possibility of one losing one another even before retirement, I don’t wanna be in that position of sadness and grief or want that for the other party. Being a S.I.N.K (Single Income No Kids) is the best decision I have ever made because I like not having to consider anyone else but myself.

    • @scorpionqueen66
      @scorpionqueen66 3 місяці тому +3

      Same thing with me!!! I'm 57, and I'm a S.I.N.K (Single Income No Kids) as well, and I'm loving it!!! No responsibility for anybody else but ME MYSELF AND I ONLY!!! No regrets or guilt whatsoever!!!

    • @chadguindon6909
      @chadguindon6909 3 місяці тому +1

      @@scorpionqueen66 Neither don’t I at 40 years old. My reasons for NEVER becoming a D.I.N.K are the because of the expense, infidelity/catching baggage and diseases, abuse, secret crimes and illegal drug use and my depression & anxiety, divorce and many more. I could NEVER have children because of the the expense, the responsibility, the state of the world, climate change and many more.

  • @jackred2362
    @jackred2362 3 місяці тому +5

    It's like they don't know, the spouse can love and make an impact on other people's lives that are not their children. It is the same impact left behind in the world.

  • @angelaholmes8888
    @angelaholmes8888 3 місяці тому +6

    Some people are wrong to believe that kids will be there for their parents like mariah Carey she cut all contact with her mother for years do to her being toxic but she did financially support her it wasn't till her mother was dying mariah decided to be there for her and then there's the late Betty white she was 99 years old when she passed away she outlived her third husband alan ludden who she called the love of her life she never regretted not having kids and she never remarried she built a good life by focusing on charity work and her career plus she was a stepmother and had a good relationship with her stepdaughter

  • @NoKidsNoProblem
    @NoKidsNoProblem 3 місяці тому +3

    I get stressed easily and adding children to my life would cause my stress to go through the roof. Because of that it's likely that I would die a lot earlier than my spouse anyway. But even if my partner died first I still have friends and people that I care about and who care about me. I prefer friends that I personally picked than biological children who may or may not turn out to be people that I get along with.

  • @abeaconoflight-xx8cn
    @abeaconoflight-xx8cn 3 місяці тому +3

    I think it's also odd to think that your children are going to fill the void of your partners absence. Your children are completely separate people and depending on how people frame it and to what degree they may take it, it can also become toxic. For example boy moms who have an emotionally incestous attachment to their sons due to the lack of involvement or affection from their husbands. Their partner is well alive but completely "absent". Parents should never put such an emotional burden on their children as a means of compensation for their partners absence whatsoever, dead or alive.

  • @ccd5942
    @ccd5942 25 днів тому

    I’m child free. My mom has a classmate that she ran into whose husband recently passed. She said I feel
    So sorry for her! I said “why” ? She said “ because he left her all alone he’s so selfish he wouldn’t even give her a kid”! She stated that the husband said that he didn’t want kids and she agreed. I told her SHE agreed! If she wanted kids she could’ve left him!
    Soooo that being said my mom “feels sorry” for me too! 😢I’m like what?!?! YOU feel sorry for me??? She has 5 kids and lives with me. Is basically divorced and all of the other kids are leaches.
    Her 6 brothers and sisters have nothing to do with my grandma !!!! But you’re sure that kids are a guaranteed security blanket idk. I was offended

  • @daysoftheboo
    @daysoftheboo 3 місяці тому +8

    I don't like the nuclear family
    It's a weird strange arrangement "making people" is weird in general , there's no escaping it or denying it having kids breeding making a human is selfish no matter what

  • @rachelmoore5079
    @rachelmoore5079 3 місяці тому

    There’s no guarantee your kids will stick around. Some people have other things to focus on besides their partner

  • @birdieculture-2
    @birdieculture-2 3 місяці тому +4

    THATS your reason for having a kid? You created someone that will definitely die, just so u can remember your spouse? Or have someone around you? God damn find yourselves some friends or goals in life my lovez, wtf?

  • @RoseMiah9191
    @RoseMiah9191 3 місяці тому +4

    Well- if a man leaves you are very lucky if there aren‘t any kids involved.
    No arguments about custody, you won‘t end up a single mother etc.
    Also as a backlash:
    Does this person who made this nonsense comment realize that there a 1000s of men leaving their wife because of the kids, the constant stress, noise etc everyday?! 😂
    People need to think before they talk…

  • @Ella-g2m
    @Ella-g2m 3 місяці тому

    girlies concerned about their spouse dying first... then they go and marry a guy 10 years older than them? bae just get you a younger guy who won't become worm food until you do. No need for children thanks.

  • @scorpionqueen66
    @scorpionqueen66 3 місяці тому +2

    I'm 57, single, and no children, and I'm not missing out on anything that I never wanted to do in the first place!!! I knew at the age of 15 that I never wanted to have children or live my life serving and catering to a man, and I'm GLAD that I never changed my mind about not living my life the way that society dictates that I MUST live my life simply because I was born a female!!!

  • @ZeroFox.
    @ZeroFox. 3 місяці тому +5

    Thirty-nine years of age here. Never wanted to marry, find a long term companion, or have children.
    I just kindly remind them to go sweep their own porch.
    The audacity to just assume we know what would make another individual happy. 🧹