THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM | Evolution

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  • Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 10 тис.

  • @Endilia
    @Endilia 5 років тому +3743

    "Wait I got an idea"
    The last words you want to hear Mark say

    • @Alpha-cr7pu
      @Alpha-cr7pu 5 років тому +47

      Endilia I know, when I heard him say that I was just like “Mark, No, Please, You’re Gonna Kill Us, DON’T DO IT!!!”

    • @nyxblackwood9045
      @nyxblackwood9045 5 років тому +6

      I saw him say that as I read your comment. XD

    • @DemonBoy-zs5hk
      @DemonBoy-zs5hk 5 років тому +1

      Ikr

    • @mothboy68
      @mothboy68 5 років тому +2

      Mark’s equivalent to “Hold my beer”

    • @emperorcat5468
      @emperorcat5468 5 років тому

      ok

  • @lordfarquuad207
    @lordfarquuad207 5 років тому +10104

    If Mark was god, we all would be equally blessed and terrified for our lives. *Especially when he says he has an idea.*

    • @mrsmarlowe
      @mrsmarlowe 5 років тому +301

      oh god
      Oh god
      OH GOD
      *OH GOD*
      *OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH GGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD*
      *mark has a idea*

    • @youdontknowme8129
      @youdontknowme8129 5 років тому +128

      Soooooo the same as religion now.

    • @animeedits6187
      @animeedits6187 5 років тому +67

      HE IS GOD

    • @firebreaker9325
      @firebreaker9325 5 років тому +111

      @@mrsmarlowe if mark was leader and he said he had an idea: I'm leaving planet earth

    • @noleary9924
      @noleary9924 4 роки тому +45

      he mde pretty succesfull ´humans´ tho

  • @MT168AFC
    @MT168AFC 3 роки тому +4534

    I love how he says "i dont think spiders lay eggs" and then 1 year later... a spider lays eggs in his vr headset before recording fnaf vr

  • @piperroe243
    @piperroe243 3 роки тому +3801

    In this episode, Mark forgets that creatures move best when they have *knees*

    • @MintyMan_
      @MintyMan_ 2 роки тому +334

      Who needs knees when you have the friends you made along the way?

    • @mitoroskokoros589
      @mitoroskokoros589 2 роки тому +74

      @@MintyMan_ Mark's creations

    • @blurry200
      @blurry200 2 роки тому +19

      @@mitoroskokoros589 life’s creations

    • @joshuatremper5026
      @joshuatremper5026 2 роки тому +25

      He's god. So he created us with this game

    • @toastytea6253
      @toastytea6253 2 роки тому

      Today on markiplier, we learned that spiders shoot babies from that privates like a shotgun

  • @TheDeathOracle
    @TheDeathOracle 5 років тому +8197

    I tried to make a human. They just snapped their necks and used them as grappling hooks and evolved from there...

  • @dailypositivity6659
    @dailypositivity6659 4 роки тому +5519

    I'd never thought I'd hear a sex lesson of spiders explained so wrong and so vivid

  • @lizacooperider9545
    @lizacooperider9545 5 років тому +1693

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    "Guys it's Cocktober"

    • @SoulSif
      @SoulSif 4 роки тому +7

      *Yes.*

    • @thedemoninyourcloset.
      @thedemoninyourcloset. 4 роки тому +50

      *Proceeds to give spider sex-ed class*

    • @kiwichan456
      @kiwichan456 4 роки тому +8

      I mean it *IS* right after No Nut November.

    • @teresakelley4057
      @teresakelley4057 4 роки тому +4

      I was the 666th like now it really is cocktober

    • @ahorse7248
      @ahorse7248 4 роки тому +3

      @@teresakelley4057 well I was the 667th like

  • @finnfarrell8069
    @finnfarrell8069 3 роки тому +510

    Ironically he made chica into a massive meaty spring that was perfect for tumbling down the stairs

  • @spencer8204
    @spencer8204 3 роки тому +1297

    I like how he just sits back in his chair all comfy-like, sipping on his drink as he watches his hellish children learn to evolve

    • @myak5754
      @myak5754 3 роки тому +18

      That's Mark for ya

  • @movedtocupowarriors4205
    @movedtocupowarriors4205 3 роки тому +2089

    "Oh he's doing leg raises-" **Flings out of existence** "Where did you go?"

  • @lymphaticjeopardy
    @lymphaticjeopardy 3 роки тому +728

    "I like being stable dad."
    I've never been so disturbed by a seemingly innocuous phrase in my whole life

    • @riffmond
      @riffmond 3 роки тому +5

      read as Stable Dad at first

  • @harleyspeedthrust4013
    @harleyspeedthrust4013 2 роки тому +215

    At 17:00 they're literally learning how to exploit a glitch in the game for their own purposes. That's pretty sick when you think about it, they're escaping the matrix

  • @tomcosta3849
    @tomcosta3849 6 років тому +1166

    “Spiders give birth like a shotgun blast into the nearest face.”
    -Mark Fischbach 2018

    • @sunnyglowvt
      @sunnyglowvt 6 років тому +10

      Tom Costa Education from Markiplier is the best.

    • @old_pork
      @old_pork 6 років тому +27

      I think that's what he meant when he said "Bizarre versions of porn"

    • @xeneth531
      @xeneth531 5 років тому +5

      That’s Mark’s name?

    • @yert5679
      @yert5679 5 років тому +4

      Aiden D mark edward fischbach

    • @killerkirby366
      @killerkirby366 5 років тому

      Svenger Mc. Spazzy yeah it's a i tire classification of subspecies terhes multiple of them

  • @Playopedia
    @Playopedia 3 роки тому +1381

    How my biology teacher tells me how life evolves: **breakdancing seizure dog**

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 роки тому +2

      Where do I find this game?

    • @Playopedia
      @Playopedia 3 роки тому +4

      @@za0n282 I don't know

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 роки тому +2

      @@za0n282 check desc lol

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 роки тому +1

      @@za0n282 oh it’s called evolution and is a mobile game but for com0ut4r I wouldn’t know

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 роки тому

      @@mattiescott1615 the video description? I have looked there, and I cant seem to find it.

  • @vel.x9751
    @vel.x9751 5 років тому +2963

    Darkiplier:Come here girl
    Dark chica: *has glitchy seizure on the ground*

    • @temarinara77
      @temarinara77 5 років тому +104

      Dark’s just watching his dog Spaz out

    • @samwilliams9133
      @samwilliams9133 5 років тому +47

      Darktail: (silently watching through a window that was for some reason placed near a mirror) =)

    • @Jodal_Manga_Art
      @Jodal_Manga_Art 5 років тому +29

      I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this

    • @anonymooselsb2968
      @anonymooselsb2968 5 років тому +12

      666 like oh dear

    • @ScuttleBugReal
      @ScuttleBugReal 4 роки тому +42

      hmmm...
      I have a name for dark chica!
      Glitcha!

  • @ardenlyn0817
    @ardenlyn0817 3 роки тому +297

    “It’s Dark Chica.”
    Looks like Dark forgot to feed her again. Gotta set up a feeding schedule, dude!

  • @ashthetrash6457
    @ashthetrash6457 6 років тому +716

    “Chica and her ill-begotten spawn” is probably the best phrase I’ve ever heard

  • @thesun7563
    @thesun7563 4 роки тому +1380

    “This is a FAMILY friendly channel” Goes to talk about sex standing up,

    • @_username
      @_username 4 роки тому +20

      since when this become a family friendly channel ;D

    • @joogiewatkins1519
      @joogiewatkins1519 3 роки тому +19

      @Joshua Pryor And how spider sex "works"

    • @iamerror6546
      @iamerror6546 3 роки тому +14

      this is how you make a family, okay?

    • @Grandmas567
      @Grandmas567 3 роки тому +6

      and how the mama and papa spider going at it xD

    • @tweenytwinkies
      @tweenytwinkies 3 роки тому

      Well thats how you make a family in the first place isnt it? So nothing truly is innocent

  • @ashwar9800
    @ashwar9800 5 років тому +478

    11:20 I just see a bunch of graceful backflipping cows

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 5 років тому +8

      graceful

    • @Crazy-eu1wm
      @Crazy-eu1wm 5 років тому +13

      Yep, it is the most beautiful sight ever.

    • @sodagaming8676
      @sodagaming8676 5 років тому +15

      I see a bunch of cows having their necks snapped over and over as they are tumbling down

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 5 років тому +9

      @@sodagaming8676 still graceful :P

    • @lorrainewinsor7980
      @lorrainewinsor7980 4 роки тому +1

      Well they can jump too

  • @mackers4897
    @mackers4897 Рік тому +63

    4:30 He actually looks like a father just watching his kids with a beer, "Where did you go?" 😆

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 Рік тому

      I was thinking that through the entire video lmfao

    • @hush3956
      @hush3956 8 місяців тому +1

      Cigarette mums

  • @johncarter1739
    @johncarter1739 4 роки тому +1310

    Mark: ...I'm not crazy! Everyone knows this. Everyone knows..."
    *Mean while*
    The spiders: *synchronized seizure*

  • @CoconutNucifera
    @CoconutNucifera 4 роки тому +1741

    "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform."
    No wonder why Kars eventually stopped thinking.

    • @LeWulfy
      @LeWulfy 4 роки тому +16

      It looks like daddy long legs
      bro

    • @eidolomere
      @eidolomere 4 роки тому +20

      Have you seen my turtle?

    • @kehoff26
      @kehoff26 4 роки тому +21

      I thought Shadow was the Ultimate Lifeform

    • @lickablegrass
      @lickablegrass 4 роки тому +2

      Ah yes

    • @CoconutNucifera
      @CoconutNucifera 4 роки тому +4

      @@eidolomere aren't YOU the turtle?

  • @sleepy_clover7361
    @sleepy_clover7361 4 роки тому +807

    "I'm pretty sure when a daddy spider- a *d a d d y s p i d e r* -"

    • @Microwave2410
      @Microwave2410 3 роки тому +30

      F A T H E R A R A C H N I D

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 роки тому +12

      @@Microwave2410 A N I M A L O F T H E A R A C N I D F A M I L L Y W I T H A F A T H E R L Y R O L E

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 роки тому

      @Fnafronpa and The tattletail craft daddy long legs is in the huntsman family

    • @zer0rebel4
      @zer0rebel4 3 роки тому

      @@elanrg and? Cellar spiders are a part of the Arachnida class. Theyre technically not fully spiders, but theyre arachnids

    • @johnrybinski6237
      @johnrybinski6237 3 роки тому

      @@zer0rebel4 by that logic so are Scorpions

  • @diabeetustype6884
    @diabeetustype6884 3 роки тому +42

    What if you left open a tab with this running for years and then you come back to the tab and find that they have become so efficient at running that they are moving at light-speed

    • @EpicJosh84
      @EpicJosh84 3 місяці тому +2

      Tried this. Made a neat little creature, left it running, went for a walk. Computer turned off and had to reload the page. F

  • @wickermind6668
    @wickermind6668 6 років тому +669

    what would you do if you were walking in a forest, and a random "A" shaped monster started aggressively break dancing towards you?

  • @braxtonsambrano5241
    @braxtonsambrano5241 5 років тому +540

    Life form: *is triangle*
    Mark: “this is LIFE!”

    • @Firedragon-li5nb
      @Firedragon-li5nb 4 роки тому +2

      noice = yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

    • @pein4332
      @pein4332 4 роки тому

      _Illuminati confirmed_

    • @dudemp4
      @dudemp4 2 роки тому

      ITS AN *A*

  • @HexIsme
    @HexIsme 6 років тому +529

    Mark may not drink alcohol any more but he does a damn good impression of being drunk.

    • @Kixal07
      @Kixal07 6 років тому +4

      Lol

    • @D-1337
      @D-1337 6 років тому +3

      IKR

    • @SlothinAintEasy
      @SlothinAintEasy 6 років тому +18

      Mark's drunk on life.

    • @Vellicya
      @Vellicya 6 років тому +4

      the truth makes me cant stop laughing

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 Рік тому

      Oh I forgot he can't drink. I legitimately thought he had a beer in his hand the entire time.

  • @JugularJohn
    @JugularJohn 3 роки тому +330

    Shadow; IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    Kars: NO. IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    ???: amateurs
    Kars and Shadow: WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK?!
    Markiplier: *A M A T U R S*

    • @DR_WALLSTREET
      @DR_WALLSTREET 3 роки тому +9

      IS THAT A JOJO REFERENCE?

    • @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284
      @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284 3 роки тому +9

      Was that the bite of 87??

    • @DragoMations
      @DragoMations 2 роки тому +4

      amaturs

    • @nonamegaming5298
      @nonamegaming5298 2 роки тому +1

      NO WAY!!!!!!!! IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE? JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME! JOSUKE IS SO BADASS! ORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORA MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO OH YOU’RE APPROACHING ME BUT IT WAS ME DIO

    • @JugularJohn
      @JugularJohn 2 роки тому +1

      @@nonamegaming5298 🚪 here’s the door. Now leave

  • @Suophu
    @Suophu 5 років тому +704

    "It's like just watching your children just flop around in a yard"
    Hang on, I don't think that's how you do it but ok

    • @alyssasalmon4883
      @alyssasalmon4883 4 роки тому +21

      that's totally what happens, my children love doing it after staring at RGB strobe lights!

    • @okdean7953
      @okdean7953 4 роки тому +11

      My kid has gills and they do the same

    • @ethanlocke3604
      @ethanlocke3604 4 роки тому +12

      There’s nothing wrong with a nice yard flopping every now and again

    • @red_pixel_apple58
      @red_pixel_apple58 4 роки тому

      I wanna like but I can't, I'm sorry

    • @mdsullivan100
      @mdsullivan100 4 роки тому +1

      seizures are funny unless you have had one Which i have

  • @chasenelson9660
    @chasenelson9660 4 роки тому +556

    “This is a Family friendly channel”
    Proceeds to tell how the spider life cycle works

    • @ignacioperalta6784
      @ignacioperalta6784 4 роки тому +15

      the real one doesnt get any better...

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 4 роки тому +12

      Fun Fact: spiders feel pain and their skeletons are on the outside of their bodies...

    • @smirkfanta5535
      @smirkfanta5535 3 роки тому +7

      @@messyalien5164 yes that's called an exoskeleton

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 роки тому +3

      @@smirkfanta5535 yeah, thanks for telling me something that I just explained. They are also vulnerable to predators when they shed there exoskeleton until it hardens
      But thanks for saying that. forgot to say what it was called

    • @galladegamerletsplays
      @galladegamerletsplays 3 роки тому

      very correctly

  • @icemagiciangh
    @icemagiciangh 6 років тому +436

    “They’re fcking. Come on guys this is a *family channel.”*
    You um, you sure, Mark?

    • @skyblaze7160
      @skyblaze7160 6 років тому +32

      Mark: "This is a family channel"
      *Literally a few minutes later*
      Mark: "The daddy spider's penis gets erect-"

    • @galactisgd431
      @galactisgd431 6 років тому +2

      Gallifreyan_Hunter: (memes)
      me: C H I N A

    • @deannawheeler2365
      @deannawheeler2365 6 років тому +2

      not really, moving away from "family" content.

    • @willowdrakon
      @willowdrakon 6 років тому +2

      Deep space waifu was the most family friendly one so far

    • @guidojacobs2002
      @guidojacobs2002 6 років тому +7

      About 69% sure it's family friendly.

  • @FlashDrive356
    @FlashDrive356 3 роки тому +46

    6:42 that what a good bowl of Mac and cheese sounds like

  • @captainonomatopoeia
    @captainonomatopoeia 6 років тому +300

    Markiplier creates life.
    Life: wHy hAvE yOu FoRsAkEn Me MaStEr

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 6 років тому +17

      *Mark*: *creates life*
      Life: *exists in perpetual agony*
      *Mark*: *drinks Monster*

    • @pssteenagers
      @pssteenagers 6 років тому +5

      @@Phoebe5448 iM dRiNkInG a MoNsTeR rIgHt NoW

    • @gryphonkingbros847
      @gryphonkingbros847 6 років тому +2

      Markiplier Makes: Ded peepos

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 6 років тому +1

      WHHHHOOOAAAAA!!! SPOOPY@@pssteenagers

    • @vr0c131
      @vr0c131 6 років тому

      WhY yOu TaLk LiKe GaMzEe MaKaRa

  • @DavrenHelsmere
    @DavrenHelsmere 5 років тому +647

    Don't feel the bad for the dog in the climbing part. That's not Chica, that's CH-1C-α, a robot design after her. She doesn't feel pain and is always happy.
    At least, those who she let's live think that.

    • @userofusername4981
      @userofusername4981 4 роки тому +4

      What was that last sentence?

    • @nopebutdope5963
      @nopebutdope5963 4 роки тому +15

      user of username it was a warning ⚠️ DÆRK ÇHÏKÆ ÏŠ ÇØMÏÑG

    • @dominique2911
      @dominique2911 4 роки тому +9

      I'm sure she and X Æ A-12 would be good friends if they met

    • @pebbles3609
      @pebbles3609 4 роки тому +3

      @@dominique2911 yeah they definitely would

    • @carbon1642
      @carbon1642 4 роки тому +1

      the typo at the end where you added an apostrophe to "lets" is so bothersome.
      it's those tiny little mistakes that bother me the most.

  • @kat-kalamity
    @kat-kalamity 6 років тому +143

    I can relate to Chica freezing under pressure on a spiritual level.

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 6 років тому +4

      I froze once. When a girl was spinning a 1 metre rusty metal pole like a batton and let go. It flew at me like a javelin. Hit me directly on the right eye socket. I could have been half blind if it weren't for the pure luck of the direct hit

    • @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou
      @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou 6 років тому +1

      Same

    • @kat-kalamity
      @kat-kalamity 6 років тому +4

      @@InsomniacStephens141 OH DAMN I'M GLAD U OK HOMIE.
      (Also who the heck just chucks poles at people wtf?)

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 6 років тому +3

      @@kat-kalamity it was an accident at a playgroup when I was much younger, but if you imagine the hollow inside of the pole, it hit me so my eye was within the hollow part. Luckiest I could have been

  • @KrivonoshenkO
    @KrivonoshenkO 3 роки тому +36

    The Ultimate Life-from uses all the capabilities of the others. But this needs more power. We need a super Aja.

  • @silvertail7131
    @silvertail7131 6 років тому +438

    AKA the episode where markiplier throws his dog down the stairs a few hundred times till the poor pooch resorts to dark magic

  • @brendan9734
    @brendan9734 6 років тому +318

    Why does everyone put muscles inside of triangles?
    *TRIANGLES CAN’T BEND*

    • @Jester_Jingles
      @Jester_Jingles 6 років тому +1

      Brendan rigggggghhhhhtttt

    • @NXE212
      @NXE212 6 років тому +2

      then why don't you split the triangle 3 joint into more joint

    • @peakeythebard1454
      @peakeythebard1454 6 років тому +4

      They can if you try hard enough

    • @Actinide5013
      @Actinide5013 6 років тому +1

      and then jojo characters

    • @primate6854
      @primate6854 6 років тому +5

      that's where you're wrong kiddo

  • @ashleyjohnson9651
    @ashleyjohnson9651 6 років тому +116

    You've created the best and most terrifying thing known to man
    a dog with a 12 foot vertical leap

  • @ariesthapa2932
    @ariesthapa2932 3 роки тому +10

    4:30
    This sounds like he’s actually in a irl place talking to people

  • @brookebondrozelle
    @brookebondrozelle 6 років тому +708

    I wonder how confused Chica was hearing her name so many times

    • @alonsospassion924
      @alonsospassion924 6 років тому +10

      Brooke Rozelle she’s usually not with him but sometimes lays by him while he plays

    • @brookebondrozelle
      @brookebondrozelle 6 років тому +13

      Alonso's Passion she’s all knowing

    • @queeniethequeenbee3701
      @queeniethequeenbee3701 6 років тому +9

      Pretty sure she can hear him, she's a DOG.

    • @heshtov5367
      @heshtov5367 6 років тому +7

      Well dogs have better hearing than humans

    • @mackapacka2695
      @mackapacka2695 6 років тому +18

      mark: chica, what are you doing
      chica: he has gone crazy again

  • @Kthulhu832
    @Kthulhu832 3 роки тому +89

    14:43
    Mark's Creation: Shimmies across ground
    Mark: Intense Joy and laughter

  • @magpakilos
    @magpakilos 5 років тому +776

    Mark: "I have an idea!"
    Me: oh no
    My mom: oh no
    World: oh no

  • @carterdirksen646
    @carterdirksen646 3 роки тому +23

    When he was trying to get them to climb I imagined 100’s of dogs just falling down stairs

  • @conjureslade7149
    @conjureslade7149 6 років тому +225

    When a mommy Dracula and a daddy Dracula love eachother very much, they do the monster mash.

    • @SpaceCadetSec
      @SpaceCadetSec 6 років тому +17

      And oh my, it was a very good bash

    • @epsilonthedragon1249
      @epsilonthedragon1249 6 років тому +14

      It went on in a flash.

    • @coreythepeanut
      @coreythepeanut 6 років тому +3

      Oh, It was a mash

    • @Godzilla691138MW3
      @Godzilla691138MW3 6 років тому +3

      God dammnit...

    • @conjureslade7149
      @conjureslade7149 6 років тому

      In a year or so, I will start a Twitch channel, with the same name as this profile, streaming games until I have enough money to get a GOP to go air soft bids on youtube.

  • @sionijiminian9874
    @sionijiminian9874 6 років тому +229

    Mark says "this is supposed to be a child friendly stream" he then discloses how he believes spiders mate vividly. What
    wholesome content :)

    • @manbuckett3460
      @manbuckett3460 6 років тому +8

      Daddy long legs have penises which technically would make them different than other spiders. Which might make them not a spider

    • @brothersandsistersofvalhalla
      @brothersandsistersofvalhalla 6 років тому +10

      Most female spiders eat the male to reproduce. Eat their entire body.

    • @SurprisinglyDeep
      @SurprisinglyDeep 6 років тому +11

      Also he discusses how the streamer are "sick f***s" for wanting a hamster to f**k an elephant 😂

    • @Revenent666
      @Revenent666 6 років тому

      That's because he's full of shit.

    • @maya.5534
      @maya.5534 6 років тому +2

      Dont forget cocktober

  • @tameronica
    @tameronica 4 роки тому +1762

    “The Ultimate Life form.”
    **Angry Kars noises**

  • @pandasplayhouse9143
    @pandasplayhouse9143 3 роки тому +21

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    About ten minutes later: *proceeds to explain the birds and the bees but in spider form*

  • @danmcmaster4561
    @danmcmaster4561 6 років тому +129

    I could tell from the thumbnail this was going to be either:
    A, The fall and rebirth of Markiplier into an ultra powerful crab god!
    B, a funny let's play
    Or C, A severely stupid game
    Looks like all 3 were right

    • @kevbri11
      @kevbri11 4 роки тому +1

      a game that progressively grows smarter = stupid
      gottem

  • @memento_00187
    @memento_00187 6 років тому +142

    19:04
    That moment when Mark starts talking about mommy and daddy spider and your mom walks in

    • @captainbooboosavage6523
      @captainbooboosavage6523 5 років тому +1

      yep

    • @stardust7129
      @stardust7129 5 років тому +8

      he legit sounds like a child who just figured out how the whole thing works XD

    • @syzygy_zael
      @syzygy_zael 5 років тому

      @@stardust7129 fam if you've heard children talking about stuff like that, I feel bad for you

  • @michaelhussey717
    @michaelhussey717 6 років тому +3529

    Small youtubers: "says a single bad word"
    UA-cam: Demonatized and age restricted.
    Markiplier: "talks about sex and penises and vagina's"
    UA-cam: You're all good bro 👍

    • @devinward461
      @devinward461 6 років тому +130

      Who do you think gets yt more ad money

    • @catchamp1880
      @catchamp1880 6 років тому +279

      PewDiePie: says heck
      *D E M O N I T I Z E D*

    • @jader2357
      @jader2357 6 років тому +69

      @@catchamp1880 exactly.... Jack also seems to have the same luxury as Mark though.....

    • @ironicugandan5826
      @ironicugandan5826 6 років тому +128

      Actually the game grumps did something interesting. Dan said fuck almost asap on a episode and Arin said "You can't swear in the first 10 seconds of a video! Your gonna get us demonatized" or something to that extent.

    • @alyssa7867
      @alyssa7867 6 років тому +44

      Mark is being educational.

  • @SpeedyTurtle975
    @SpeedyTurtle975 2 роки тому +4

    Now I'm just imagining zombies looking like this with a Markiplier face causing an apocalypse and repeatedly say Hello Everybody My Name Is Markiplier menacingly

  • @DanielSambar
    @DanielSambar 6 років тому +2768

    What’s this? Markiplier is evolving!
    _Oh wait no, he was just stretching._

  • @serenitymartel6683
    @serenitymartel6683 5 років тому +360

    Mark at 5:24 "this is a family friendly channel" Mark at 18:58 explaining how sex works

  • @organmann4821
    @organmann4821 6 років тому +352

    That. Is *not.* how spiders work.
    Wait no.
    *You are exactly right.*

    • @calyxman
      @calyxman 6 років тому +5

      *loads SPAS-12*
      *tries to aim at Poison Zombie*
      *_IT'S A FUCKING SPIDER WAIT NO_*
      *baby spiders come out of shotgun and cover the poison zombie*
      nice

    • @cooldude5397
      @cooldude5397 6 років тому +1

      motato_potato ART/GAMES I agree

    • @organmann4821
      @organmann4821 6 років тому

      HOLY CRAP, HOW DID *I* GEY SO MANY LIKES-OFF OF A SPIDER COMMENT NO LESS?!?!
      *i feel blessed*

  • @ManicMama.
    @ManicMama. 2 роки тому +6

    ‘It’s like putting your kids outside for a while, watching them flop around until they learn to walk’ yup that’s exactly how i taught my 3 kids to walk lol

  • @Jousqe
    @Jousqe 3 роки тому +254

    this is an exact recreation of what god did when he was creating us

    • @Bluzigo
      @Bluzigo 3 роки тому +10

      LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

    • @hiddendraco2607
      @hiddendraco2607 3 роки тому +12

      Are you telling me Markiplier is god? If so I'm totally on board

    • @Engieman909
      @Engieman909 2 роки тому

      @@hiddendraco2607 what does that make Bob, Wade, and Shaun?

    • @n-s-a7113
      @n-s-a7113 2 роки тому

      @@Engieman909 arch angles

    • @rubygamer21
      @rubygamer21 2 роки тому

      @@danghd2 nonono ANGLES not angels

  • @ee3171
    @ee3171 4 роки тому +322

    2018:Mark: I don't think spiders lay eggs.
    2019:Mark:There's a spider laying eggs in my vr headset!!

    • @agonyghoul488
      @agonyghoul488 4 роки тому +18

      I breed spiders I can confirm they lay eggs XD

    • @YarnyKate
      @YarnyKate 4 роки тому +1

      Growth!

    • @veragevann
      @veragevann 4 роки тому +2

      character development

    • @hrblock11
      @hrblock11 4 роки тому +2

      Burn the headset i have arachnophobia

    • @fluttershy1529
      @fluttershy1529 4 роки тому

      Jerry Cook nu

  • @snowydoe7514
    @snowydoe7514 5 років тому +456

    There should be a version of all marks characters, like darkiplier
    But they’re all versions of chica barking at each other with subtitles

  • @narratorfox6646
    @narratorfox6646 3 роки тому +10

    Chica relationship with mark reminds me of the dog relationship with her dad from Fullmetal Alchemist
    Edit: I am not talking about the real life Chica

    • @rogue6827
      @rogue6827 3 роки тому +1

      the memories you just brought back are killing me

  • @katsukibakugan9490
    @katsukibakugan9490 5 років тому +1810

    I tried making a cat.
    I broke the game.
    Cats are apparently perfect lifeforms.

    • @hienduongvan8454
      @hienduongvan8454 5 років тому +67

      therefore, Kars = cat

    • @Official_NotNeo
      @Official_NotNeo 5 років тому +14

      You right

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 років тому +28

      Shaggy is the perfect lifeform to be correct...

    • @Crazy-qi1gw
      @Crazy-qi1gw 5 років тому +25

      @@5AMUR-41 You've ruined the joke.

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 років тому +14

      @@Crazy-qi1gw, good

  • @the1sonder884
    @the1sonder884 4 роки тому +416

    Sooo... right when he tells his “children” that he hates them and wants them to forever go away, I got a Johnson & Johnson baby ad.😂

  • @videodays6652
    @videodays6652 6 років тому +209

    *sees the beginning of the game*
    Me: Oh that’s so cool!
    *sees final form*
    Me: Oh GOD that is horrifying…

  • @austinclark3495
    @austinclark3495 3 роки тому +5

    27:10 attack on titan theme drowns out all else.

    • @jakioki
      @jakioki 3 роки тому

      I searched for this comment

  • @aeuouae
    @aeuouae 6 років тому +227

    Hearing the way Mark explains spider birth makes me wish he was my teacher.

  • @stuartnorton7299
    @stuartnorton7299 5 років тому +92

    10:43 little life lesson here: always try your best, but it’s ok if you aren’t good. If your the smallest amount better, then that’s perfect.
    Also if you aren’t the best you will inevitably be replaced

  • @asswipe8062
    @asswipe8062 3 роки тому +504

    "The ultimate life form"
    He's immortal! Unkillable! Unmatched!

    • @numba3797
      @numba3797 3 роки тому +36

      he'll freeze in space

    • @oogabooga5510
      @oogabooga5510 3 роки тому +21

      @@numba3797 i was waiting for the jojo reference 😩

    • @GG11VR
      @GG11VR 3 роки тому +9

      Yare Yare YES YES YES YES Y. E. S.

    • @Daizz009
      @Daizz009 3 роки тому +9

      @@numba3797 And eventually, he'll stop thinking.

    • @plasmaticlmao
      @plasmaticlmao 3 роки тому +8

      That's why I clicked lmao

  • @dominicwhite8749
    @dominicwhite8749 3 роки тому +28

    mark: THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM.
    me: is that a JOJO REFERENCE?!!??!!!?!!!?

  • @takeitback.rightnow8553
    @takeitback.rightnow8553 3 роки тому +223

    "Im pretty sure spiders give live birth"
    *egg sack intensifies*

  • @kennagilbert827
    @kennagilbert827 6 років тому +162

    Me: I've always wondered what Mark would be like as a dad...
    Mark: Ok kids so when a mommy spider loves a daddy spider they-
    Me: Oh yeah... Marks gonna be a great dad!😂😂😂

    • @tip3338
      @tip3338 6 років тому +13

      How long would it take for his children to learn all the swear words?

    • @dumbledazzjones
      @dumbledazzjones 6 років тому +11

      @@tip3338 Approximately 1 whole hour

    • @vaultdweller236
      @vaultdweller236 6 років тому +5

      @@tip3338 same as took my dad to teach me and my first word was bull shit

    • @Voiidpriince
      @Voiidpriince 6 років тому +3

      Tori I. Post never bc female spiders eat the males after sex if they’re hungry, mantis too

    • @Revenent666
      @Revenent666 6 років тому +1

      you don't want that, the universe is just barely big enough for marks ego.

  • @howtheheck8639
    @howtheheck8639 5 років тому +190

    “Family friendly”
    *_DADDY SPIDER INTENSIFIES_*

  • @v3es473
    @v3es473 2 роки тому +3

    It's 3 am and I am looking at a grown man laughing at a thing that looks like a bridge with muscles trying to run.

  • @zephyr7825
    @zephyr7825 6 років тому +116

    Scientist: and as you can see here we have the *glances at it for a millisecond* AND LET'S MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE SHALL WE

  • @Unhipsnow
    @Unhipsnow 4 роки тому +318

    Title: "THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM"
    *Ancient aztec dubstep starts playing*

  • @superdialga8923
    @superdialga8923 6 років тому +191

    Eventually, mark stopped thinking.

    • @justjikoo9237
      @justjikoo9237 6 років тому +13

      THANK YOU FOR THE JOJO REFERENCE

    • @zionicus
      @zionicus 6 років тому +2

      Toki wa tamari

    • @sephioux
      @sephioux 6 років тому

      YES A JOJO REFERENCE

    • @Mutus
      @Mutus 6 років тому

      What's new

    • @Dalrane
      @Dalrane 5 років тому

      I planned all this from the very start, Kars!

  • @reznorstuckrath4191
    @reznorstuckrath4191 10 місяців тому +5

    Mark describing how baby spiders are made is god damn hilarious.

  • @GarretOakamber
    @GarretOakamber 6 років тому +64

    Chica is the best borf and can do the thing. Chica gives it her 100%

  • @mercimande8766
    @mercimande8766 5 років тому +331

    Ultimate lifeform? Ayayayayayayayaya **aztec dubstep plays**

    • @broom9580
      @broom9580 4 роки тому +13

      If ur wondering the song is called AWAKEN

    • @flynnguest8323
      @flynnguest8323 4 роки тому +13

      AWAKEN MY MASTERS

    • @mijsvrk1115
      @mijsvrk1115 4 роки тому +7

      *LIVE AND LEARN INTENSIFIES*

    • @joiboy2665
      @joiboy2665 4 роки тому +13

      Since I started watching jjba all I see is references. He was right. Stand users are attracted to each other!

    • @ExistentiallyDreading
      @ExistentiallyDreading 4 роки тому +11

      @@broom9580 BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAKAA MONOGAAAAA! DOITSU NO KAGAKU WO SEKAI ICHIIII

  • @RK-jv1js
    @RK-jv1js 6 років тому +1103

    If the ultimate life form is a spider I would rather not evolve

    • @mysterymeat64
      @mysterymeat64 6 років тому +21

      Remington Reacts I would. Being a spider would be rad.

    • @RK-jv1js
      @RK-jv1js 6 років тому +15

      Axolotl Invasion well, I have arachnophobia, so...

    • @lurkerremastered1578
      @lurkerremastered1578 6 років тому +48

      @@RK-jv1js you can't be afraid of the spider if you are the spider. Taps head with finger*

    • @RK-jv1js
      @RK-jv1js 6 років тому +5

      Lurker Remastered are you questioning me?!?

    • @Lucky-xz4xq
      @Lucky-xz4xq 6 років тому

      Spiders and tarantulas are one of my favorite animals(bugs)

  • @christopherplaysviolin3082
    @christopherplaysviolin3082 2 роки тому +4

    The look of pure joy that turned into disgust in the blink of an eye when he noticed what the human like creatures were doing on the floor

  • @althealligator1467
    @althealligator1467 6 років тому +165

    "Eventually we're gonna get to Spider-Man here..."
    *Jackspedicey has entered the chat*

    • @stevebailey8285
      @stevebailey8285 6 років тому +4

      😂😂😂

    • @gabriellara6005
      @gabriellara6005 6 років тому +1

      Luca-Sebastien Barret 👍🏼😩🤣😂🤣🤣😂😀😃😄😁😆😄😀

    • @o0NeoTDN0o
      @o0NeoTDN0o 6 років тому +1

      😂👌

    • @XGorvX
      @XGorvX 6 років тому +1

      Hewwo spooder man here

    • @BreakthroughGD
      @BreakthroughGD 6 років тому +2

      I’m so glad jackspedicey hasn’t been forgotten, the true name

  • @darkrai17
    @darkrai17 6 років тому +84

    Just randomly tapped to 21:22. I don't regret it.

    • @pmhpaul
      @pmhpaul 5 років тому +4

      Context Needed

  • @alanaevensen6836
    @alanaevensen6836 6 років тому +571

    Marks final words to his children: GO AWAY AND GET OFF MY LAWN..... I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU WERE GONE.... FAREWELL AND FOREVER GO AWAY!!!

  • @dionemartins0212
    @dionemartins0212 8 днів тому +1

    Mark is the one UA-camr who can do a livestream where he does one thing and then spends like, an hour, just watching shit happening and making jokes
    I love Mark's temporary hyperfixations lmao

  • @mattp.2282
    @mattp.2282 6 років тому +161

    "Bizarre versions of porn"
    I am curious but I kinda don't want to ask

  • @justmaniacal1650
    @justmaniacal1650 6 років тому +159

    11:00
    I laughed my ass off
    It's to funny
    *WHEEZE*
    There just hopelessly falling down the stairs
    It's just sad

  • @flyboichi_zzz6919
    @flyboichi_zzz6919 4 роки тому +272

    Mark is just like josuke: “I have an idea, an idea that will make everyone one happy”🤣

    • @EpicVoiceShitposting
      @EpicVoiceShitposting 4 роки тому +15

      Everybody talkin' bout Kars and then there's that one guy

    • @treyboy0899
      @treyboy0899 3 роки тому +1

      Ah yes everyone one

    • @luislazotheoof
      @luislazotheoof 3 роки тому

      @@treyboy0899 you haven't heard of the happy sandwich, haven't you?

    • @Cinnaschticks
      @Cinnaschticks 3 роки тому +1

      And it does not go well

  • @Chonklord-_
    @Chonklord-_ 3 роки тому +3

    20:49 If a platypus is always the same one, then why are there a bunch of them in the wild?

  • @oliverkirkland420
    @oliverkirkland420 6 років тому +583

    They're trying their best

    • @ALR27
      @ALR27 6 років тому

      You should play granny its really fun

    • @Guffy1990
      @Guffy1990 6 років тому +4

      There doing they're best?

    • @vanessaherrera8631
      @vanessaherrera8631 6 років тому +8

      Oliver Kirkland never thought I’d see 2p hetalia again

    • @Its_Vandfald
      @Its_Vandfald 6 років тому

      There really not.

    • @fluffmuffintheking4552
      @fluffmuffintheking4552 6 років тому +1

      Oliver Kirkland u have 68 subs u should make some vids

  • @swaggymeowmeow
    @swaggymeowmeow 6 років тому +67

    Mark: This is a family friendly channel
    me: wHUUUTTT

  • @swagmeister3000
    @swagmeister3000 6 років тому +490

    so basically the ultimate life form is coraline’s other mother

    • @organmann4821
      @organmann4821 6 років тому +12

      gothicgray oh. God.

    • @doodlenoodle45hater
      @doodlenoodle45hater 6 років тому +18

      I haven’t watched that movie in years

    • @albinocadillac
      @albinocadillac 6 років тому +7

      Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeee. Wassup Coraline watcher?!?

    • @opcscott2875
      @opcscott2875 6 років тому +7

      shut up before i sow buttons in your eyes

    • @e3ch044
      @e3ch044 6 років тому +2

      I just watched this today wtf?

  • @patrickhoffman2806
    @patrickhoffman2806 2 роки тому +4

    Mark: “it’s best to make things as simply as possible”
    Also mark: try’s to create a human

  • @RuneScapeQuestMaster
    @RuneScapeQuestMaster 6 років тому +106

    Mark don’t forget about the structural integrity of triangles ... think poly brigde

  • @Bootstrap626
    @Bootstrap626 6 років тому +129

    If anyone is actually interested in this stuff, CGP Grey made a very nice video titled "How machines learn", that basically explains the process witnessed here. It's really nifty, I'd recommend it.

  • @brycevo
    @brycevo 6 років тому +689

    This isn't even my *Final Form* !

    • @ImWhyMortalsCry
      @ImWhyMortalsCry 6 років тому +17

      You wanna see me turn into my Final Form?
      You wanna see me doing it *again?*

    • @gminebra962
      @gminebra962 6 років тому +1

      Bryce Mckenzie what is it?

    • @eveeeofthelostwoods5471
      @eveeeofthelostwoods5471 6 років тому +1

      I understood that reference

    • @gminebra962
      @gminebra962 6 років тому

      CJPlay i gave you a comment on you new vid

    • @TheJerseyDay
      @TheJerseyDay 6 років тому +4

      Put on mask with red aja for final form

  • @morosexualidiot
    @morosexualidiot Рік тому +6

    marks speech on cocktober is the funniest thing ever

  • @Luximus17
    @Luximus17 6 років тому +527

    This must be what God sees all the time

    • @seanobrienplays688
      @seanobrienplays688 5 років тому +4

      probably.

    • @noxnox2
      @noxnox2 5 років тому +7

      what do you mean us failing or a bunch of group oreges?

    • @eliasndeleon
      @eliasndeleon 5 років тому +2

      unicorns aren't real

    • @wovensystem1782
      @wovensystem1782 5 років тому +4

      @Austin White and mark killed him, and took his place

    • @falloutgeek1115
      @falloutgeek1115 5 років тому

      God created things and they will never evolve they will always look the same

  • @NostalgiaMan
    @NostalgiaMan 6 років тому +490

    MARKIPLIER.....THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM!!!!

    • @torrent9666
      @torrent9666 6 років тому +18

      So he's secretly a project by Prof. Gerald Robotnik to cure disease?

    • @spoopaconhojitas3829
      @spoopaconhojitas3829 6 років тому +40

      @@torrent9666 nah,he just adquired the Stone of Aja and put on the Stone Mask

    • @baconandwaffles1513
      @baconandwaffles1513 6 років тому +8

      @@spoopaconhojitas3829 XD Is TaHt A jOJo ReFerEnCe?!

    • @omegazero1990
      @omegazero1990 6 років тому

      So he's actually marktwo?

    • @ZaTrapu
      @ZaTrapu 6 років тому +15

      Wutaii1 Nostalgia *THE PILLAR MEN THEME PLAYS*

  • @nomadiclynx8478
    @nomadiclynx8478 6 років тому +65

    Chica mastered the power of the glitch

  • @naturegirl1999
    @naturegirl1999 2 роки тому +5

    25:54 Mark makes MusicMan