His mom was my nurse in high school (I was a grade above Bo) - I have type 1 diabetes, so I saw her almost every day when I would check my blood sugar. She's an awesome person, best nurse I ever had and I have never been surprised that her son became so successful. Great people.
Seriously the whole “seeing 3-4 deaths a day” thing would be incredibly interesting to hear from someone in that position that is stable and hasn’t been broken by it.
To all of those saying that Bo was calling his mother stronger than war veterans, I don't think that he was trying to say that it is harder than fighting in a war. He was just saying that we hear so much about soldiers coming back from war and being praised for their time in service, but we don't ever hear about these women that work in hospice centers. It isn't that it's tougher to work in hospice center, it's simply a different fight.
I can’t imagine that hospice nurses don’t have their own form for PTSD. Bo was talking about how she felt disconnected from reality. It’s an interesting subject. Something that so many people and families go through but not a lot of discussion. Death is a part of life...
After watching Inside, that comment about "I wonder if theres a way to make it (the hospice movie) not brutally depressing", and Bo goes "No, but beautifully depressing maybe,". Damn, foreshadowing.
Just want to speak out on this. My grandmother with stage 4 cancer went to a hospice center a year ago. She was there for 4 days and came home, and still alive now. Truly a miracle, and the people at those places are the nicest people. Bo’s mother is a true hero for working there. Making it so easy for the family, and the patient
Taryn Nolen I know what was meant. I was just speaking on how much of a miracle it was and talking about how much of a hero his mother truly is to all the families that have to go through it.
Hospice itself is not, it's for when the patient has already gotten a death sentence to make the remaining life they have as great as we can. Terminal diagnosis or just being really old and frail and the family can tell that their loved one doesn't have a lot of time left @kentskates6035
As a RN myself, I wanted to further this by saying that nurses aides are worth their weight in gold. They work in the same conditions that I do but for much less pay. Thank you nurses aides for all you do
I got a chill when Bo talked about how gorgeous the setting of the hospice center was. When my mom passed from cancer, everything was quiet, perfect weather with a slight breeze that made the palm fronds quietly rustle. It was such a contrast, here I am in southern california on a perfect day in paradise, and watching my mom lose her bodily systems, one by one, until she was no more. Mad respect for your mom Bo.
When I heard him say that she would give the people the things they wanted a smoke or a drink that’s awesome! I remember being a kid watching my grandfather passing away from cancer all he wanted was water the nurse told him no. My dad grab a glass filled it a little put it in is mouth to let him have a drink the nurse screaming at him telling him he couldn’t My father replied with what’s going to happen? Is he going to die? Sarcastically. He passed away 2 days later from cancer, not water. There’s a point when you’re going to die and there’s nothing that can be done so why not let them enjoy what they want.
Super late to this comment chain, but when the body is breaking down it usually isn’t able to process food and drink. It’s possible that drinking water would’ve caused suffocation. Usually nurses dab patients’ mouths with wet sponges instead.
Thanks, I didn't know that about the water possibly causing suffocation. But I have seen nurses dabbing patient's mouths with water before and didn't know why, so now that makes more sense.
The interviewer (sorry I don't know his name) has a great style of asking questions, it feels like a very genuine, intimate conversation which is really wonderful.
I was in hospice care for awhile. I wasnt expected to live, but did. Been a year and 3 months now and I'm grateful I'm here. Let me say that the hospice care people were some of the kindest people. You could just feel it off of them. I remember the day I got up and put on make up and what not and they came in and were just so happy to see me this way. Makes me cry even typing that shit. I always tell myself to go and thank them but always stop myself for some reason. This makes me want to even more. So if youre reading this and a hospice care worker, take this from someone who saw your care and can tell you, you make a difference. We see your kindness and you make a difference in the day to day. Really. Thank you.
i went to see my dying friend in one of those centres. the workers were truley angel like. she was only 15. she lasted a lot longer then they thought she would. she was put into the hospital and given a week maybe. she was 14 at first admission and she lived 3 more weeks to see her 15th birthday. i was so happy she had her birthday. but going in to see her for the last time was devastating. theres no doubt in my mind that shes in some better and beautiful place now. she was truly one of the brightest spirits i ever got the chance to meet.
You guys should invite Caitlin Doughty onto the show. She's a mortician in LA (has a mortuary called Undertaking LA) and has a UA-cam channel called Ask A Mortician. She advocates for dealing with death in healthy ways, how to accept it, and HOW to care for people who die in your family. She's funny and very personable, and I wish she was more famous on UA-cam than she is. Her videos have helped me a lot in dealing with my anxiety about death, which was brought on quite severely by PTSD in the last two years, and everything that you and Bo talked about in this video she could talk about for hours. And she doesn't make it uncomfortable to hear it. She has two books and i recommend checking them out :) Edit: my dad also works in hospice. He never talks about what he saw as a nurse (now he works in management) so I definitely understand the blocking out part of that job. Bo's mom sounds like an amazing woman.
My dad worked at a hospice for 3 years and he said most people don't last less than a few years. Most of the nurses he knew there had really bad mental health. He only worked there a few years because he just couldn't stand seeing so many people die every day. I live in the uk, and so hospice's are free for us under the NHS. However they are super underfunded and when i was at school one of our school charities was this hospice and you could find charity shops dotted around the town i lived in for this hospice. It's actually crazy that bo's mum stayed as a hospice nurse for so long, not many people do
Average turnover is around 20-30% every year. That's actually pretty great considering the amount of death these people see on a daily basis. The majority of people in hospice are staying in their jobs.
I’d be so down for a documentary on this. I’m an ICU nurse. There is such a stereotype that comes with, “just being a nurse.” I wish people knew what I see and do in a twelve hour shift.
Captain Awesome Productions like the specific hospice center or just the same general branch of hospice they’re talking about? Sorry for you’re loss, also now I seem like a doucè
Remember that one time The same one. I live in the same area Bo's originally from. There are very few and I only think one in MA, but theres def only one on the north shore. EDIT: You didnt come off as a douche btw, if people didnt actually lie about this sort of stuff then I get how it could be but we live in a world where people actually do lie about this sort of stuff. Some people be crazy lol
I’m so sorry about your loss. I want to thank you, though. This specific video wanted to make me write about a hospice and bring some attention to it. I hit a roadblock and was struggling to find words to describe it other than beautifully depressing. Eerily depressing is just perfect. Again, I’m so sorry about your grandma. But I agree, an eerily beautiful place
I can relate to this so much.. I’m an activity assistant for a nursing home (permanent care) and I get so attached to them and become a huge part of their life before they go, it’s a very harsh environment mentally and emotionally to work in.. Bless the CNA’s, hospice aids, and nurses everywhere!
I love this and Bo Burnham, I became a fan when I saw Inside and this video is really heartwarming to me because I'm taking care of my grandmother with Alzheimers and am 23 and it's hard but very touching in small ways. She's an artist and I'm a musician. I am also a video editor and interviewed her and I want to document some things and I'm not sure if I'll chose to share them. It makes you think a lot about life and death and the deepness and love and everything. I appreciated this video and needed it tonight. Thank you.
His mom was featured in an episode of NPR i believe, talking about her hospice work. I can’t remember the exact name I’ll have to go looking for it but it made me so emotional.
This is poignant, this perfectly lays out a lot of things. Not just his personal experience, but how women just get put in this juxtaposition 99% of the time and end up 'fine'. We can internalise things a lot. I work in a doctor's results line call centre situation and we are exposed to a LOT, and we just roll with the punches. The call centre is run 100% with female staff. All male staff that have been attempted to being trained in it have bailed out and said 'no, I don't wanna do that' and have been respectfully withdrawn. I dunno how to put it, but most of the time they can't deal with the emotional baggage of it.
I think it's interesting when Bo talks about the important place his Mom holds to all these families whose loved ones she's cared for, who she can't possibly remember herself because there are so many. Obviously there are a lot of differences, but I wonder if her experience with that has given Bo any guidance on dealing with the inherently uneven relationships between his fans and himself, since I know that's something he's talked about before.
"We don't think about it until it's there" That part. Its as common as life itself but NOBODY tells you how to deal with it. I guess nobody can _really_ but its something we don't even talk about. My dad passed completely unexpectedly and I was an absolute wreck. I remember I got the call in the morning and while driving to his house it felt like the craziest thing to me that my dad had died and yet there were all these cars around me with people just going to work like any normal day but my world felt like it had stopped. It was the weirdest feeling ever.
I never really listen to podcasts or get interested by them, but this one had my attention for the whole times. The people that work in those centres really do deserve more praise.
I lost my mom to cancer less than a year ago, it was a very upsetting and surreal experience. When you are watching someone close to you die, you feel numb and absolutely terrible. The worst thing is watching that person knowing that they know that they will die soon, and it will happen whether they want it or not. She was in hospice care for only a couple of days before she died and we had put it off for so long because we knew what it meant. Losing my mom at 22 was the hardest event of my life. It makes me consider working with this population in the future but of course it’s upsetting to think back to my mom and may just be a reminder.
My grandmother (the person who raised me) has worked for one of the hospices in town since before I was born. I have never in my life come across a person who outright loves and cares for other people she might not even know the way she does. The amount of respect that I have for what she does 5 says a week, plus on call literally what feels like almost always now because they are losing nurses, is just unreal to me, and she absolutely loves doing what she does at almost 70 years old herself. Hospice nurses are angels.
After watching more I want to go deeper. Most of hospice patients are elderly with cancer, either it’s just too severe of a form or they’re old and frail after years of battling. In a lot of cases these people have miserably, unnerving and uncomfortably painful moments such as being unable to control their bowel movements or bladder, or both. Brain damage either from illness, age, or stress (or all, again). Seizures are quite common, people who smoke like 4 times a day with lung cancer, just about the whole run of the lot in terms of just pure shit that is just miserable to witness. Hearing someone else talk about it is just reminding me in a way of how great of a person she is
Thanks Bo, as a nurse (in the UK) this is so great to hear. Had such a rough shift yesterday, but remembering how strong I am again! 💪💪 (What you said about prolonging death is real accurate too)
My grandmother was in hospice care last year for 8 days before passing on, she was recommend to move there from the hospital and it is privately owned. She got round the care 24/7 attention and whatever she needed any time of day..lobster for breakfast? She could have it! The facility she was in only has 10 beds and lots of nurses and aides to help keep the people and families comfortable.
this made me feel really good about myself. I'm a single mother sence 17 and a nurses assistant at a psyche care facility, its nice to feel appreciated
My father was at the Washington Hospice center. It’s a much needed service. It’s so hard on the families that need the help so very much. As a girl I marveled at the nurses that cared for him. ✌️💕
I work as a doctor in a hospital where we do a lot of end of life care.Its really rewarding when you talk a family through the dying process, because it means a lot to families when there's at least one person in the room who's not scared of whats happening
So interesting. Bo, please make a documentary! Your mom is freaking incredible and I think a lot of people would take something away from hearing her and others' stories. They are true superheroes.
My grandad went through hospice care and it was difficult enough for me visiting him knowing what he was going through. So much respect for hospice workers who go through it everyday and just get on with life on top of it.
Ethan! I highly recommend a book called “being mortal” by atul gawande. He explains the origins of hospice as well as the modern culture of end of life care. I believe It’s something you and hila can learn from for when you deal with end of life situations
His mom is incredible, I know how it feels to take care of someone who is dying and let me tell you that after 3 years, I still haven't dealt with the trauma entirely.
My dad went to a hospice center that was a branch of the hospital. He was very adamant he didn’t want to die at home. It was the only other option we had. Those nurses are angels.
my grandfather passed recently but before his death he had a hospice nurse who would come to his house. she was the sweetest woman i’ve ever met and i learned some of the best things from her.
My grandmother had breast and lung cancer last year. She went into hospice at home summer 2020. But she somehow began to improve and she actually came off hospice weeks later. Sadly she went back on winter 2020 and passed early 2021. Strongest woman I know
Regarding dealing with death, it's important to recognize that the amount of people dying (for lack of better words) slowly and predictably is higher in this part of the world. Where I am from people just kind of start dropping dead of heart attacks after 55 years old, so they skip the "dying" part of it and go straight into "grieving."
Hospice is for comfort purposes, basically. They know they are dying so they want to be on as few medications as possible and be in the comfort of their own home.
The fact we know about our own unavoidable death is mind boggling enough. But having a daily life watching and caring for the dying for years on end is an entire other level of acceptance.
Man’s right about getting desensitised to death when working around it. I used to work at an old folks home and went from being a mess if anyone died to being like “oh cool don’t need to clean his room” in like 6 months
This explains so well the weird sense of kinship I've grown to feel toward Bo this last few years. The love of my life died very suddenly and unexpectedly in April 2016, and it just flat out broke me. Now, I have a long history of depression, and I've always chosen to cope with upsetting things through art and/or humor, but this... this cemented coping through humor into my very being. Humor (well... and becoming a workaholic) became the buoy that kept me afloat. His line from Can't Handle This, "watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health as he tries to give you what he cannot give himself" hits really, really close to home. In Bo, I see someone acutely aware of the pain and misery of the world, burdened by empathy he tries to pretend away but conflicted about doing so, appreciative of the creative gifts and incredible privileges that life has afforded him while simultaneously feeling unworthy of it, stuck between genuine humility and narcissism and trapped by perfectionism. I've always kind of understood his constant need to undercut raw emotion with humor, authenticity with irony, and vice versa... now I understand WHY. It make so much sense.
If anyone is wondering, I can say how hospice goes in minnesota but I can't say for other states or countries. Here, a doctor will say that you qualify for hospice if you are expected to live 6 months or less. At this point doctors are no longer treating the illness and instead are working on pallative/comfort care to make sure you are comfortable during your final days. Hospice can be provided in a center, assisted living or in your own home and is funded by medicare. Often people are sent to a center or other facility because they don't have enough supports in their home to meet all of their needs and cannot maintain their safety.
I was a Hospice volunteer. I also worked in nursing homes for 12 years with Alzheimer's. I remember going to our local Hospice center to say goodbye to my favorite resident. Wasn't volunteering at the time. Just needed to say goodbye to her. Loved her *To death*
Recently watched his new special, decided to check this clip out... Interesting because my boyfriend's mom is currently under hospice care at our home.... Thanks for sharing.
Hospice workers are on another level! They inspired me to get into healthcare and explore that, its not for me. It is so fascinating and really part of life that has become icky. I watched a special on UA-cam about a nurse specializing in end of life for infants. Her outlook is incredible. her patience is beyond description, she's a Saint. if these workers can still be kind, we have no reason to get pissed in line at the grocery store. In my experience I had more consistently mean interactions as a waitress, (like weekly sometimes daily), than in a nursing home dealing with end of life care patients. (Maybe 3 times in 3 years) Do better. Some of my most profound experiences have been with caring for dying people. I can do it, just not on a regular basis. Also there is way too much meanness out there in the world recently. So much rudeness, being kind is true strength bc I see so much hate out there. With labor shortages, the world has experienced a lot of stress, give workers a break. ✌
Please Bo & Co., would love to see this concept explored in film. Not just the concept, but the place as he described it. Bo, you’re made of the stuff to make this happen!
Thank God he face times his mom,she needs the support
Weird that her hair was wet.
@@dgnightwing95 she /just/ showered
Anyone see the season 6 finale of the Blacklist?
Did his dad just walk in
Did he ask how he was doing?
"Caring is actually the most tough and resilient thing you can do at it's extreme."
Agreed
Yup!
His mom was my nurse in high school (I was a grade above Bo) - I have type 1 diabetes, so I saw her almost every day when I would check my blood sugar. She's an awesome person, best nurse I ever had and I have never been surprised that her son became so successful. Great people.
How sweet of an experience, she sounds like she carries the most beautiful energy wherever she goes.
Yo, that’s very wholesome
imagine lying so hard
my dad owns nintendo lol :)
@@SuperCatfire His mom was a nurse at St. John’s Prep in Danvers, MA - you can look it up yourself. That’s where we both went.
I would legitimately watch a podcast with Bo Burnham's mom.
Seriously the whole “seeing 3-4 deaths a day” thing would be incredibly interesting to hear from someone in that position that is stable and hasn’t been broken by it.
As someone in the field who doesn’t deal with numbers like that, I’d love to give her a platform to impart her wisdom. ❤️
To all of those saying that Bo was calling his mother stronger than war veterans, I don't think that he was trying to say that it is harder than fighting in a war. He was just saying that we hear so much about soldiers coming back from war and being praised for their time in service, but we don't ever hear about these women that work in hospice centers. It isn't that it's tougher to work in hospice center, it's simply a different fight.
And the fact that it's a real strength to see loads of death, and come out healthy on the other end.
And to do it and come be "ok" the same day.
I can’t imagine that hospice nurses don’t have their own form for PTSD. Bo was talking about how she felt disconnected from reality. It’s an interesting subject. Something that so many people and families go through but not a lot of discussion. Death is a part of life...
7:38 this exchange right here
@@katrinal353 I think that's what he was saying. Witnessing death can be traumatic.
After watching Inside, that comment about "I wonder if theres a way to make it (the hospice movie) not brutally depressing", and Bo goes "No, but beautifully depressing maybe,". Damn, foreshadowing.
I mean, his job is to make beautiful things. I don't think it's so much foreshadowing, just what he does best.
Yes, I would love to see something like this produced. And he’s definitely the one to do it!
Just want to speak out on this. My grandmother with stage 4 cancer went to a hospice center a year ago. She was there for 4 days and came home, and still alive now. Truly a miracle, and the people at those places are the nicest people. Bo’s mother is a true hero for working there. Making it so easy for the family, and the patient
Awads that’s actually cool I’ve always thought that hospice was just a death sentence
Kent Skates that’s what they told us. But here we are.
Awads glad things worked out for your grandma but they were just meaning like 99% die there
Taryn Nolen I know what was meant. I was just speaking on how much of a miracle it was and talking about how much of a hero his mother truly is to all the families that have to go through it.
Hospice itself is not, it's for when the patient has already gotten a death sentence to make the remaining life they have as great as we can. Terminal diagnosis or just being really old and frail and the family can tell that their loved one doesn't have a lot of time left @kentskates6035
As a RN myself, I wanted to further this by saying that nurses aides are worth their weight in gold. They work in the same conditions that I do but for much less pay. Thank you nurses aides for all you do
❤
Thank you ❤️
❤️
I got a chill when Bo talked about how gorgeous the setting of the hospice center was. When my mom passed from cancer, everything was quiet, perfect weather with a slight breeze that made the palm fronds quietly rustle. It was such a contrast, here I am in southern california on a perfect day in paradise, and watching my mom lose her bodily systems, one by one, until she was no more.
Mad respect for your mom Bo.
I feel like Bo would be able to tell his mum's story beautifully through a film. Good luck to him one day if he starts making it
Yes! I think Bo is going to be a fantastic filmmaker in the future!
@@codyleslie478 Ding ding! Just watch Eight Grade! He is already a fantastic filmmaker.
When I heard him say that she would give the people the things they wanted a smoke or a drink that’s awesome!
I remember being a kid watching my grandfather passing away from cancer all he wanted was water the nurse told him no.
My dad grab a glass filled it a little put it in is mouth to let him have a drink the nurse screaming at him telling him he couldn’t
My father replied with what’s going to happen? Is he going to die? Sarcastically.
He passed away 2 days later from cancer, not water.
There’s a point when you’re going to die and there’s nothing that can be done so why not let them enjoy what they want.
What was the reason for the nurse not wanting your grandfather to have a glass of water though? Her reaction sounds so odd.
kimbooley90 he couldn’t hold anything down and she didn’t want to deal with it I guess
Oh that makes sense. I didn't think about that.
Super late to this comment chain, but when the body is breaking down it usually isn’t able to process food and drink. It’s possible that drinking water would’ve caused suffocation. Usually nurses dab patients’ mouths with wet sponges instead.
Thanks, I didn't know that about the water possibly causing suffocation. But I have seen nurses dabbing patient's mouths with water before and didn't know why, so now that makes more sense.
*Bo tears up*
Me: *has mental breakdown*
When did bo yo when did bo tear up?
Rubik'sKid Bell 7:51
Ok just didn't notice it carry on with your mental breakdown
he never did.
Thelema I know my bean too well to know when he's sad ma dude
The interviewer (sorry I don't know his name) has a great style of asking questions, it feels like a very genuine, intimate conversation which is really wonderful.
He’s called Ethan Klein it’s the h3 podcast if you wanna check it out
only problem is he's a bit fast on the interrupting
I was in hospice care for awhile. I wasnt expected to live, but did. Been a year and 3 months now and I'm grateful I'm here. Let me say that the hospice care people were some of the kindest people. You could just feel it off of them. I remember the day I got up and put on make up and what not and they came in and were just so happy to see me this way. Makes me cry even typing that shit. I always tell myself to go and thank them but always stop myself for some reason. This makes me want to even more. So if youre reading this and a hospice care worker, take this from someone who saw your care and can tell you, you make a difference. We see your kindness and you make a difference in the day to day. Really. Thank you.
I'm sure they'd LOVE to hear from one of the few of their patients who lived. Definitely reach out.
I'm sure they'd be blessed by hearing from you. Awesome miracle, God is good. 💙
You guys got Bo? Sweet
Vivi they uploaded the full podcast as well
Oh bo
First podcast I've listened to fully. Brilliant.
Bo yo!
Fo sho
I love that Ethan doesn't try to steer dark conversations back into safe happy superficial territory, he lets things get super real.
i went to see my dying friend in one of those centres. the workers were truley angel like. she was only 15. she lasted a lot longer then they thought she would. she was put into the hospital and given a week maybe. she was 14 at first admission and she lived 3 more weeks to see her 15th birthday. i was so happy she had her birthday. but going in to see her for the last time was devastating. theres no doubt in my mind that shes in some better and beautiful place now. she was truly one of the brightest spirits i ever got the chance to meet.
You guys should invite Caitlin Doughty onto the show. She's a mortician in LA (has a mortuary called Undertaking LA) and has a UA-cam channel called Ask A Mortician. She advocates for dealing with death in healthy ways, how to accept it, and HOW to care for people who die in your family. She's funny and very personable, and I wish she was more famous on UA-cam than she is.
Her videos have helped me a lot in dealing with my anxiety about death, which was brought on quite severely by PTSD in the last two years, and everything that you and Bo talked about in this video she could talk about for hours. And she doesn't make it uncomfortable to hear it. She has two books and i recommend checking them out :)
Edit: my dad also works in hospice. He never talks about what he saw as a nurse (now he works in management) so I definitely understand the blocking out part of that job. Bo's mom sounds like an amazing woman.
I just subbed to her a while ago she's funny
I second this! She's incredible
Yuuuuus.
I absolutely love Caitlin, she's helped me so much. Lots of fascinating content too.
Yes please! I think every person can benefit from Caitlin.
Humanity at it's purest. I lost my grandma recently and those nurses bent over backwards to ease our pain, I'm forever grateful.
"We handle grief better than we handle death" oof
My dad worked at a hospice for 3 years and he said most people don't last less than a few years. Most of the nurses he knew there had really bad mental health. He only worked there a few years because he just couldn't stand seeing so many people die every day.
I live in the uk, and so hospice's are free for us under the NHS. However they are super underfunded and when i was at school one of our school charities was this hospice and you could find charity shops dotted around the town i lived in for this hospice.
It's actually crazy that bo's mum stayed as a hospice nurse for so long, not many people do
Soren oops, i miswrote that, thanks for pointing it out!
Average turnover is around 20-30% every year. That's actually pretty great considering the amount of death these people see on a daily basis. The majority of people in hospice are staying in their jobs.
I’d be so down for a documentary on this. I’m an ICU nurse. There is such a stereotype that comes with, “just being a nurse.” I wish people knew what I see and do in a twelve hour shift.
My grandmother died in the hopsital theyre talking about. Its an eerily beautiful place
Captain Awesome Productions like the specific hospice center or just the same general branch of hospice they’re talking about? Sorry for you’re loss, also now I seem like a doucè
Remember that one time
The same one. I live in the same area Bo's originally from. There are very few and I only think one in MA, but theres def only one on the north shore.
EDIT: You didnt come off as a douche btw, if people didnt actually lie about this sort of stuff then I get how it could be but we live in a world where people actually do lie about this sort of stuff. Some people be crazy lol
I’m so sorry about your loss. I want to thank you, though. This specific video wanted to make me write about a hospice and bring some attention to it. I hit a roadblock and was struggling to find words to describe it other than beautifully depressing. Eerily depressing is just perfect. Again, I’m so sorry about your grandma. But I agree, an eerily beautiful place
7:02 Bo chuckles at interviewers "conflict of interest" remark because now he is imagining a hospice nurse wanting her patient to die asap
I can relate to this so much.. I’m an activity assistant for a nursing home (permanent care) and I get so attached to them and become a huge part of their life before they go, it’s a very harsh environment mentally and emotionally to work in.. Bless the CNA’s, hospice aids, and nurses everywhere!
Hospice centers are rough, I worked as a CNA in a few, death gets so normal. For me, to cope, I developed a really dark sense of humor.
I think That 70’s show really nailed Kitty’s coping mechanisms to the T. Dark sense of humor with a touch of alcoholism
When my grandmother was in hospice from a colon rupture our nurse wad the most caring and loving person I had ever met, absolute saint
I love this and Bo Burnham, I became a fan when I saw Inside and this video is really heartwarming to me because I'm taking care of my grandmother with Alzheimers and am 23 and it's hard but very touching in small ways. She's an artist and I'm a musician. I am also a video editor and interviewed her and I want to document some things and I'm not sure if I'll chose to share them. It makes you think a lot about life and death and the deepness and love and everything. I appreciated this video and needed it tonight. Thank you.
His mom was featured in an episode of NPR i believe, talking about her hospice work. I can’t remember the exact name I’ll have to go looking for it but it made me so emotional.
This is poignant, this perfectly lays out a lot of things. Not just his personal experience, but how women just get put in this juxtaposition 99% of the time and end up 'fine'. We can internalise things a lot.
I work in a doctor's results line call centre situation and we are exposed to a LOT, and we just roll with the punches. The call centre is run 100% with female staff.
All male staff that have been attempted to being trained in it have bailed out and said 'no, I don't wanna do that' and have been respectfully withdrawn. I dunno how to put it, but most of the time they can't deal with the emotional baggage of it.
This was my absolute favorite part of the podcast.
same it was so intriguing to listen to
I think it's interesting when Bo talks about the important place his Mom holds to all these families whose loved ones she's cared for, who she can't possibly remember herself because there are so many. Obviously there are a lot of differences, but I wonder if her experience with that has given Bo any guidance on dealing with the inherently uneven relationships between his fans and himself, since I know that's something he's talked about before.
8 months on but that is profound .
"We don't think about it until it's there"
That part. Its as common as life itself but NOBODY tells you how to deal with it. I guess nobody can _really_ but its something we don't even talk about. My dad passed completely unexpectedly and I was an absolute wreck. I remember I got the call in the morning and while driving to his house it felt like the craziest thing to me that my dad had died and yet there were all these cars around me with people just going to work like any normal day but my world felt like it had stopped. It was the weirdest feeling ever.
I never really listen to podcasts or get interested by them, but this one had my attention for the whole times. The people that work in those centres really do deserve more praise.
This broke me down. Just lost both of my grandmas 6 months apart from each other and both were in hospice care. God bless his mother.
I lost my mom to cancer less than a year ago, it was a very upsetting and surreal experience. When you are watching someone close to you die, you feel numb and absolutely terrible. The worst thing is watching that person knowing that they know that they will die soon, and it will happen whether they want it or not. She was in hospice care for only a couple of days before she died and we had put it off for so long because we knew what it meant. Losing my mom at 22 was the hardest event of my life. It makes me consider working with this population in the future but of course it’s upsetting to think back to my mom and may just be a reminder.
Bo's mom covers her camera with her thumb,
I'll waste my time listening to Burnham
My grandmother (the person who raised me) has worked for one of the hospices in town since before I was born. I have never in my life come across a person who outright loves and cares for other people she might not even know the way she does. The amount of respect that I have for what she does 5 says a week, plus on call literally what feels like almost always now because they are losing nurses, is just unreal to me, and she absolutely loves doing what she does at almost 70 years old herself. Hospice nurses are angels.
After watching more I want to go deeper. Most of hospice patients are elderly with cancer, either it’s just too severe of a form or they’re old and frail after years of battling. In a lot of cases these people have miserably, unnerving and uncomfortably painful moments such as being unable to control their bowel movements or bladder, or both. Brain damage either from illness, age, or stress (or all, again). Seizures are quite common, people who smoke like 4 times a day with lung cancer, just about the whole run of the lot in terms of just pure shit that is just miserable to witness. Hearing someone else talk about it is just reminding me in a way of how great of a person she is
Seeing death everyday is really tough. I had experience with this. It takes a special person...you kinda get a form of PTSD. His mom is a tough lady!
wow his voice is so deep when he's not doing a show voice
Thanks Bo, as a nurse (in the UK) this is so great to hear. Had such a rough shift yesterday, but remembering how strong I am again! 💪💪
(What you said about prolonging death is real accurate too)
My grandmother was in hospice care last year for 8 days before passing on, she was recommend to move there from the hospital and it is privately owned. She got round the care 24/7 attention and whatever she needed any time of day..lobster for breakfast? She could have it!
The facility she was in only has 10 beds and lots of nurses and aides to help keep the people and families comfortable.
this made me feel really good about myself. I'm a single mother sence 17 and a nurses assistant at a psyche care facility, its nice to feel appreciated
My father was at the Washington Hospice center. It’s a much needed service. It’s so hard on the families that need the help so very much. As a girl I marveled at the nurses that cared for him. ✌️💕
I work as a doctor in a hospital where we do a lot of end of life care.Its really rewarding when you talk a family through the dying process, because it means a lot to families when there's at least one person in the room who's not scared of whats happening
I WISH BO BURNHAM WAS MY MOM
So interesting. Bo, please make a documentary! Your mom is freaking incredible and I think a lot of people would take something away from hearing her and others' stories. They are true superheroes.
Back in 2016, my father had to stay in a hospice center. I must say that his mother must be doing wonderful things;
My grandad went through hospice care and it was difficult enough for me visiting him knowing what he was going through. So much respect for hospice workers who go through it everyday and just get on with life on top of it.
There's a reason mom spelled upside down is wow.
Coincidence, but still he has a cool mom.
PowahSlap Entertainmint wnw?
Nice skateboard kid reference
"I would love to make a movie about it, it's just crazy and heavy" hmmm *that funny feeling begins playing*
Ethan! I highly recommend a book called “being mortal” by atul gawande. He explains the origins of hospice as well as the modern culture of end of life care. I believe It’s something you and hila can learn from for when you deal with end of life situations
When this started I was like ooooohh this is gonna be sad
and it was
@@Kat-PM i'm a genius
Bo's mom on the podcast?
yes please
People woud be tooo sensitive. Better no.
My aunt was in a hospice because of cancer and I could not have more respect for the people there
Anybody's mom who is present in their life and is loving and caring is incredible.......js
So we can’t all any one mom incredible because they all are? Foh
Wow Ethan great moves keep it up
SawThuYa Aung proud of you
SawThuYa Aung every time I hear that I cringe so hard for some reason
My mom is also a hospice nurse
who gives a fuck
Mamad Nobari Why you mad though?
Mamad Nobari you apparently because you reacted
I am very proud. She works so much and she never complains
Mamad Nobari lol u mad you little bitch
His mom is incredible, I know how it feels to take care of someone who is dying and let me tell you that after 3 years, I still haven't dealt with the trauma entirely.
My dad went to a hospice center that was a branch of the hospital. He was very adamant he didn’t want to die at home. It was the only other option we had. Those nurses are angels.
my grandfather passed recently but before his death he had a hospice nurse who would come to his house. she was the sweetest woman i’ve ever met and i learned some of the best things from her.
What the hell is wrong with people being offended with the fact that her mom is stronger than veterans? She IS a strong woman. Get over it
My grandmother had breast and lung cancer last year. She went into hospice at home summer 2020. But she somehow began to improve and she actually came off hospice weeks later. Sadly she went back on winter 2020 and passed early 2021. Strongest woman I know
My mother is a nicu nurse and friends with Bo’s mother, I grew up in the town next to his hometown..
Bless your mother for what she does ❤️
Regarding dealing with death, it's important to recognize that the amount of people dying (for lack of better words) slowly and predictably is higher in this part of the world. Where I am from people just kind of start dropping dead of heart attacks after 55 years old, so they skip the "dying" part of it and go straight into "grieving."
Turns out Bo did go on to make something beautifully depressing.
After working at an old folks home I can confirm the hospice people are the BEST people ever!!!
5:24 Does anyone know the name of this podcast that Bo participated in?
His voice is a lot deeper than I thought it'd be
Hospice is for comfort purposes, basically. They know they are dying so they want to be on as few medications as possible and be in the comfort of their own home.
i would love to see bo's mom on the podcast
The fact we know about our own unavoidable death is mind boggling enough. But having a daily life watching and caring for the dying for years on end is an entire other level of acceptance.
Passion and compassionate professionals are always overlooked, teachers, any rescue help, volunteers, civil workers. 💗
Man’s right about getting desensitised to death when working around it. I used to work at an old folks home and went from being a mess if anyone died to being like “oh cool don’t need to clean his room” in like 6 months
This explains so well the weird sense of kinship I've grown to feel toward Bo this last few years. The love of my life died very suddenly and unexpectedly in April 2016, and it just flat out broke me. Now, I have a long history of depression, and I've always chosen to cope with upsetting things through art and/or humor, but this... this cemented coping through humor into my very being. Humor (well... and becoming a workaholic) became the buoy that kept me afloat. His line from Can't Handle This, "watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health as he tries to give you what he cannot give himself" hits really, really close to home. In Bo, I see someone acutely aware of the pain and misery of the world, burdened by empathy he tries to pretend away but conflicted about doing so, appreciative of the creative gifts and incredible privileges that life has afforded him while simultaneously feeling unworthy of it, stuck between genuine humility and narcissism and trapped by perfectionism. I've always kind of understood his constant need to undercut raw emotion with humor, authenticity with irony, and vice versa... now I understand WHY. It make so much sense.
did Bos voice drop right before this interview?
Facetime with my mom hits different now
That’s beautiful compassion
2:18 perfect example of a one sided trauma bond
Caring is hard as hell.
If anyone is wondering, I can say how hospice goes in minnesota but I can't say for other states or countries. Here, a doctor will say that you qualify for hospice if you are expected to live 6 months or less. At this point doctors are no longer treating the illness and instead are working on pallative/comfort care to make sure you are comfortable during your final days. Hospice can be provided in a center, assisted living or in your own home and is funded by medicare. Often people are sent to a center or other facility because they don't have enough supports in their home to meet all of their needs and cannot maintain their safety.
I was a Hospice volunteer. I also worked in nursing homes for 12 years with Alzheimer's. I remember going to our local Hospice center to say goodbye to my favorite resident. Wasn't volunteering at the time. Just needed to say goodbye to her. Loved her *To death*
Recently watched his new special, decided to check this clip out... Interesting because my boyfriend's mom is currently under hospice care at our home.... Thanks for sharing.
The people who work in the hospital day in and day out are a huge blessing, people don't praise them enough
Hospice workers are on another level! They inspired me to get into healthcare and explore that, its not for me. It is so fascinating and really part of life that has become icky. I watched a special on UA-cam about a nurse specializing in end of life for infants. Her outlook is incredible. her patience is beyond description, she's a Saint. if these workers can still be kind, we have no reason to get pissed in line at the grocery store. In my experience I had more consistently mean interactions as a waitress, (like weekly sometimes daily), than in a nursing home dealing with end of life care patients. (Maybe 3 times in 3 years) Do better. Some of my most profound experiences have been with caring for dying people. I can do it, just not on a regular basis. Also there is way too much meanness out there in the world recently. So much rudeness, being kind is true strength bc I see so much hate out there. With labor shortages, the world has experienced a lot of stress, give workers a break. ✌
W for wumbo
He really should make this movie!
The hospice center deserves to be an animated comedy akin to Bojack
Ethan Adams yes! though I wonder how could such grom setting could have some light moments?
I can't seem to find the This American Life episode Bo mentioned
Ethan's eyebrows have more life in them in these short clips than I do.
Asking how a hospice comes into existence is the craziest question I’ve ever heard. It comes into existence because it’s entirely necessary.
You guys should have the youtuber Ask a Mortician on the podcast
0:50 : "Young Jaime pull that up who runs that?"
i would love to watch a movie about this. i really hope he makes one.
life is too long to say good bye ,but it is too short to not say hello
Please Bo & Co., would love to see this concept explored in film. Not just the concept, but the place as he described it. Bo, you’re made of the stuff to make this happen!
why does this only have 300k views?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
My grandpa just passed and had hospice care for past 3 months
The fountain with Rachel Weisz in it... a great movie about passing and grief.
I read the title as bo's incredibly hot mom and i feel terrible