The Miracle Of Birth - feat. Donna Lynne Champlin - 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend'
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- Опубліковано 15 лют 2018
- GET THE SONG: lnk.to/cxg3
The Miracle Of Birth
Starring Donna Lynne Champlin
Written by Adam Schlesinger, Jack Dolgen, Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna
PAULA
OF ALL THE MYSTERY AND WONDER AND BEAUTY ON THIS EARTH
NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH
WELL, YOUR CERVIX HAS BEEN CLOSED AND PLUGGED WITH MUCUS
BUT SOON, THAT VISCOUS PLUG WILL BE DISCHARGED
It's called the bloody show.
AND EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA
MEANS THAT LABOR'S DRAWING NEARER
AND THOSE SHARP PAINFUL CONTRACTIONS
CAUSE YOUR CERVIX TO ENLARGE
Beautiful!
THEN, YOU'LL RACE YOUR ASS
OVER TO THE HOSPITAL
WHERE THEY'LL STRAP YOU IN
FOR THE HELL RIDE OF YOUR LIFE
It's what your body's made for.
YOU'LL SOON BE IN SO MUCH PAIN
THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY EXCLAIM,
"PLEASE, JUST KILL ME NOW,
DOCTOR, DOULA, OR MIDWIFE!"
TEAR, TEAR, TEAR GOES YOUR VAGINA
NEVER WILL IT BE ITS CUTE LITTLE SELF AGAIN
BUT, THE GOOD NEWS IS, IF YOU HAVE A FEW MORE KIDS
THE REST WILL BASICALLY PLOP RIGHT OUT
AFTER HOURS AND HOURS
OF UTTER TORTURE
YOU MAY POOP YOURSELF
AND/OR THROW UP AS YOU BEAR DOWN
'Cause you're a goddess!
AND, THOUGH YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THIS TIRED
WAIT! HERE COMES THE RING OF FIRE
THAT'S YOUR VAGINA BURSTING INTO FLAMES
AS THE HEAD STARTS TO CROWN
BURN, BURN, BURN GOES YOUR VAGINA
AND YOU'LL CURSE AND SCREAM
UNTIL (GASP!) YOU HEAR A CRY
It's your baby!
AND, OOPS, THERE IT WENT-A
THAT WAS THE PLACENTA,
WHICH YOU MUST EXPEL
OR YOU WILL SURELY DIE
WHEN IT'S ALL OVER,
THEY'LL PLACE THE BABY ON YOUR BREAST
YOU MAY BE HAPPY FOR A MOMENT
BUT THEN, FOR MONTHS, YOU'LL BE DEPRESSED
'CAUSE YOU'VE WRECKED YOUR LIFE AND BODY
YOU'LL THINK WAS IT REALLY WORTH
ALL THAT FOR
THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH
But, of course it was! - Комедії
You know what? I got to go apologize to my mom. I'm forever changed after what I just seen
Sky Dome that's still pretty awful but in a different way
Sky Dome good for her! :)
i gotta go apologize to some bitches
lmao LOVE THIS
GOT THAT REFERENCE‼️😎❤️
In an article after CXG ended the writer of this song (who is male) said he was super nervous about getting it right so he went to all the mothers on staff and asked them about their experiences of giving birth, and was shocked at all the horror stories he heard. So, this song is the result of that!
He actually downplayed it, most people working in the maternity ward knows the vagina tearing is almost guaranteed and sometimes it just rips all the way to your asshole
@@ineedmoresleep3728 my grandma said it tears all the way to the ass. And the doctors have to stitch it up again. Thanks grandma!
@@ineedmoresleep3728 it can also rip in the other direction / towards the clitoris....
@@leonamay8776 fuck I would never
@@leonamay8776 BRB NEED A HYSTERECTOMY RIGHT GODDAMN NOW
Donna Lynne Champlin can truly sing disgusting things and still sound like a fairy goddess.
Anonymous Anonymous wait what? She was talking about the pain of birth.
I'm 99% sure they're trolling.
She is WONDERFUL!!
… "fairy goddess." Two things that cannot possibly be one.
Rachel Anderson I agree - what an amazing voice - incredible
Imagine all the kids who dance on this number looking back to this when they are older and thinking what did they get involved in
IKR
They had to pass through a methaporical vagina made of two curtains, it's weird enough to remember when you want to go to sleep
I remember the child actor of the shining that he thought he was acting in family drama he didn't know it was horror until he see it
They will play it back for their children and grand children - and say 'that one there - that's me !' :-D
and I'm pretty sure that first girl is Elliana Walmsley...
How does Donna Lynne always get the grossest songs and nails them?
Linh Hoang because it's so funny how her sheer talent sugar costs anything gross!
theres your answer
she was a pharmacy rep commercial maker in a past life.
I literally find myself humming this song and "the first penis I saw" all day everyday and I hate myself for that
This should be shown in school to stop teen pregnancy
Scarlett Buchanan that's a great idea!
Scarlett Buchanan these days? That’s what abortion clinics are for.
I mean will this song put off teenage guys that much? As far as I'm aware, straight boys between the age of 14-19 are pretty low on empathy
Freddy Waller I mean... As a 19 year old male, I probably won't be having sex in the near future solely because of this song.
Has nobody had to watch the actual miracle of birth in junior high its horrifying.
I've always said that the only miraculous thing about childbirth was that people still decide to do it.
Water Nebula They'd be fucking horrified.
It seems awful but then, women are putting humans on earth... like creating a whole new fucking person.
Oh boy wait until you've heard about how hyenas birth their pups...
@@angethedumbone thanks for that. I just had to look it up 😫
@@angethedumbone Thanks...but now human child birth doesn't seem so awful in comparison. And it's great conversation piece to end any talk about this matter
Donna looks like a freaking goddess in that outfit. And the song is perfect.
She look's like Hera or Afrodite
the flowers remind me more of demeter or persephone
I’m thinking Hera for the fertility and maternity stuff.
@@corneliastreet2491 I was thinking more of Gaia
well she's also at the top center of the opening so she's the cli...
Here after Rachel Bloom announced that she’s pregnant.
Anton Maslowski Same! :0
At the Rachel Bloom live show my wife and I went to last year, David Hull sang this to her.
@@1stAgent ua-cam.com/video/_Xyw7nxb5GQ/v-deo.html - Here it is!
Your comments are 9 months old so I assume she’s given birth
@@silvercheetah92 yeah a couple months ago
“It’s what your body’s made for” is my favorite line shoved in between all the comments emphasizing how this entire process is insane and sounds like something that should in no way be how we make new people because it’s so horrific and difficult on the body in every way
There is actually theories as to why the process is so painful and also has such a long gestation period. Effectively it comes down to, welp, if they don't die, it's working, right? Or at least not all of them do, so that's why the body doesn't actually care about "birthing hips" and they make very little difference.
Also, the quite literally parasite (child when born, since they stop stealing nutrients directly from the body) would stay in near indefinitely but the mothers body can't handle it past a certain point. Babies are born really stupidly fragile more than most other creatures. Ideally they should stay in until they are old enough to start crawling and holding their head up on their own, but no human body can handle that amount of nutrient intake the babies brain and body would require. Lots of babies also have misshapen heads at first coming out so that they can fit through, and it's still stupidly painful and risky.
@@vixxcelacea2778 That's not how it works either. Babies are not "parasites", they actually have their own mechanism for telling the mother when they are ready to come out, that's what the kicking is for. And contractions occur because of chemicals the baby sends to the mother's brain via the umbilical cord. But yes, human babies are actually premature and complete dependent until they can walk and control their bowels.
Babies are parasites
@@brandondavidson4085 Definition of a parasite, a organism that feeds off the host and leeches nutrients from the hosts body or otherwise uses the hosts system to promote it's own life with little to no benefit to the host.
Fetuses are by that definition a parasite. They cause morning sickness, the mother has to eat more to sustain nutrient needs, the mental and physical toll causes a lot of women to become furious and depressed both during and after.
A mechanism to tell the mother that they are ready to leave is no different than an intestinal worm telling someone to poop when they are ready to leave.
Difference is that when it's out it depends on the person and they care for it and get a lot out of having another living being of their species. But until they are out, they are a parasite by definition. People just don't want to think so because we are biologically primed to want, care for and adore children, or we wouldn't take care of them and our species would of died out.
We might come up with test tube babies in the future, but people will have a fit because it's "not natural" while ignoring the pros to it, which is, the child is guaranteed to get the nutrients it needs, it won't take any risk or toll on the mothers body and mind, nor the child's since there will be no complications in literally having to live inside another person. The child could probably have a longer period of artificial gestation to grow better and be more secure, healthier and evolved when it is ready to emerge. We might even see a new advancement in the human species if there were better conditions for birth. But no one cares about those, they just care about tradition.
Natural doesn't mean good, it just means that it works well enough to propagate a species.
@@vixxcelacea2778 I really like you. What a controversal yet brave thing to say.
If your mom keeps on saying giving birth was sooo easy you should wonder if it's all part of her plot to become a grandma someday...
my mom says the same things and has 3 sons...so..I assume some people just have it easy
Tbf research has shown that breastfeeding causes a chemical that makes women experience brief amnesia (ie to literally forget about how much pain they had in childbirth, so they're willing to go through it again. Evolution to the rescue!). So if your mum breastfed that could be why. So err yeah.. it's worse than what our parents remember!
huh. that's interesting, thanks for the info.
Depends on the woman, some of them remember the pain very well. My mom was very upfront with me about how tiring, disgusting, and agonizing childbirth was and thought very poorly of people who advocated for natural birth.
Owe you a drink.
3:02 not the "firstborn" dancer (the one that emerged first) overachieving and doing a beated echappe while the rest just do normal ones 😭😂 love these details omg
I honestly love this song for so many reasons.. but I also love how beautiful the scene is with the little girls performing this peaceful choreography as if Donna wasn't singing about such frightful/gruesome things lol
Ikr
And the fact they came out from behind the curtain that basically looks like a vagina 😂
@@Hdnsnc It's supposed to lol.
"It's your baby" made the entire baby storyline worth it in the end
Paula: Doctor no vagina
The doctor: Looks down to check
This should be mandatory viewing for all sex-ed classes.
And to become a politician
Quite honestly, if schools want to reduce teenage sex, this song is the way to do it. Free condoms should also be given, but the more I learn about the process of pregnancy, the less I want to have a baby. I'm NOT going to wreck my body to care for another being when I can barely manage caring for myself.
@@MsAliciaRL this song is what made me realise I might need to get a surrogate or adopt when I have kids. I’m disabled with bad chronic pain and my body is pretty…feeble (for lack of a better word). I’ve been told my doctor’s I probably shouldn’t carry my own kid, but every time I start to think, “Eh, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad”, I come back to this video.
I hate that I learned more about pregnancy from this song than from my education.
Without trying to be judgy; Are you perhaps from the USA? Because I have never heard anyone from another country say that.
@@NezumiEfeu I am. For a first world country we're incredibly backward when it comes to sexual health.
@@Reichiru Yeah I watched the John Oliver piece on Sex Ed in your Country. Most of the states don't even have a law that it has to be medically accurate. Imagine if history didn't have to be historically accurate.
I hope that this generation changes some things regarding your educational system and maybe healthcare for this and future generations!
@@NezumiEfeu this country is filled with prudes. They rather teach abstinence than proper contraceptives even when there’s studies showing that areas with proper sex Ed have less STI cases and teen pregnancies. I didn’t even know women had to pee after penetrative sex until I randomly read it on Twitter ffs.
I learned more about pregnancy from reading my mom's 1970s copy of "our bodies, ourselves" than I learned from [American] education, lol
everyone's various expressions of "what the actual fuck" should be commended.
I’m obsessed with Beths face at 1:55
I just want to take a moment of appreciation to the CEG props department for making that fake placenta the little girl throws.
"Beautiful."
I love how that little girl was ghosted out, as if to represent the placenta. Made me laugh so hard! All those little dancers did great. I love the sing-songy nature of this song and the mother earth vibe. It's like you're lulled into a comforting melody and then you pull back and study the lyrics and get a shock haha.
I appreciate the slight nod to Post-Partum Depression at the end of the song.
Glad this song came out AFTER I was done having kids. Now, excuse while I show this to my kid so I don't become a grandmother too soon.
wehaveapiperdoone lol righttttt!!!!
The slight Celtic theme of this melody makes it sound like an Irish folksong.
This needs to be shown in every 9th grade health class. People need to know what birth is really gonna be like.
5th grade, but yes. Let's do that!
I don't know why I decided to rewatch this while pregnant.
really hyping myself up for delivery in two months 😂😂😭😭😭
Donna lynn submit your Emmy.
My sister is 13 and starting puberty. Im showing her this. This has a nice level of entertainment, accurate info and traumatization.
The way she squeals when she says “it’s your BABYYY!!!” 😂😂
Favorite part😂
“It’s a baby!” And “but of course it was” was the most hilarious parts of the song lol
My parents thought it would be a good idea to scare me with all of this when I was a child. Joke's on them. I'm in my 30's and they're never getting grandchildren.
I want mama doctor jones to react to this song
yesssss
OMG yes!
Same
She just posted a video reacting to it!
She did lol.
" 'cause you're a goddess" gets me every time 😂.
give this woman an emmy. now!
so yeah, can people stop telling me i'm 'definitely going to want to have kids someday!'
Why I am watching this 7 weeks until due date of my first child😂
Good luck
You’re so strong!! I’m proud of you!
Thanks ❤ I did it! It was painful, yes. But I would do it again and again, cause my son is the best thing that ever happened to me🥰
@@jacquelinevogel8007 Aww, I’m so glad to hear that! So inspirational!
@@BigGirthyRod thanks!
I’m scared shitless now. Thank you Crazy Ex Girlfriend 😄
Her voice sounds so majestic that I can't tell if the character is being sarcastic or genuinely saying it's worth it
I love how it is through this song that we find out something about Paula. At the end of the song - did she have postpartum depression after her first child was born, at least?
Tear tear tear!!
RIP
So much pain... and seeing this comment after 9 months.
I get too distracted by how beautiful and ethereal Paula looks in this
Inspiring. Horrifying. Magical. Stomach turning.
When you realize you have a portal into this dimension, betwix your legs, and it makes you feel like some kind of sci-fi alien creature wtf is life??!
After watching the show for three seasons, I think every viewer instantly pulled a Mrs. H and thought "oh god, this is gonna be gross" as soon as Paula announced she was going to sing a song about the "miracle" of birth 😂
Donna Lynne looks and sounds like a goddess here
*plays this song whenever anyone asks me why i don't want children*
SAME!!!
Same except I want kids this is just what I play when someone asks why I want to adopt instead of give birth
Childfree for life lol
I sent this video to my sister the week she was due with her first child. She wasn't as grateful as I thought she would be.
Huh. Weird
I love how Paula can sing heavenly about explicit and unpleasant topics 😂👏🏾
I just rewatched it, while pregnant, and my baby was proper vibing to that music
i feel like im getting roasted by baby in utero
Only Donna can sing about the death of a woman's vagina and make it truly harmonious #amazing
this is incredible i've never seen someone nail this kind of vocal control with songs like this
This sounds like angels singing about the worst thing that can happen to women
Danielle Delaney It definitely isn’t, lol. Oppression, rape, abuse, ...I can think of tons of worse things
@@WarKeineAbsicht Just to play devil's advocate, none of those examples are experienced only by women.
@@WarKeineAbsicht That can happen to anyone
Yep. The majority of people want these details before shit happens.
Yup
Literally
She looks like a stunning Earth Mother. I love this song, what a wonderful... realistic stance on birth xD
I had a baby! She was a C-section! ...Was this song a factor in the ultimate decision? Maybe!
her voice almost gets rid of my tokophobia
first time found someone who knows about tokophobia
Almost being key
This brought my respect for my mother on a whole new level
I'm singing this at my brother's baby shower next month 🤣
‘Oops there it went-a...that was the placenta’ is one of the best lines ever 😂
Donna Lynne honestly looks so beautiful here I love her
Real question is how do you convince the parents of these kids to let their child be in the video? Lol
ryna soonthornsuk They're not hearing the song and are dancing to Frozen
The vulture article about the making of the episode actually talks about how on board the parents (especially the mothers) were with their daughters dancing to the song.
that is so cool! now i'm picturing Rachel be like "so this fabric thing is a vagina and your daughters are gonna pop right out of there" and the moms went "YASSSS" lol
I would.
not gonna lie when you're dancing and performing unless you really like the song you kinda don't listen to the lyrics after all the rehearsals.
I'm triyng to pay attention to her angelical voice, but I just gotta say HOW BEAUTIFUL DONNA LOOKS IN THIS I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HER
The most gorgeous-disgusting song in the show
God bless you Donna Lynne Chaplin! This is one of the most disturbing and disgusting songs I've ever heard, but you make it sound so beautiful.
Champlin*
Donna is a Goddess!! She needs her emmy like yesterday
Paula’s smile at 1:55 will probably give me nightmare every night from now on 😂😂
Not gonna lie, before watching this song (on YT, I'm not here in the series), I found Paula merely tolerable as a character - now, goddamn I love her to hell. Couldn't tell you why I love her, but goddamn does it feel good to have someone singing about childbirth, and not just the 'good' bits.
Already had decided long before this that I was never going to give birth. This just reaffirms my choice.
2 weeks overdue,3 days of labour and I nearly died from blood loss...yeah that's why my daughter is currently an only child, and she's nearly eleven! However, very worth it,she's a wonderful little person,cheeky AF and totally my favourite human being ever! Birth is gross, painful and messy but from blood and pain comes beauty and perfection. Those of us who choose to be parents accept that,those who don't are no less valid in their choice not to. Also, remember to show your mothers appreciation as often as possible
Every time I think, hey maybe I do want a kid, I listen to this song and remember why I don’t want a kid.
I LOVE this song! I'm gonna show it to every man who comes mansplaining what a miracle birth is and you should not tell all the gory truths about it on public cause it deters birth rate. Yes, they exist, a lot in my country.
Ew. I don't think we have an overpopulation issue, but we absolutely have a problem that there are many unwanted births and children out there in foster homes who have the worst pain imaginable feeling like they shouldn't exist.
We don't need more kids in the world. Besides most of the push is because more kids equals more buyers which furthers economy. It's sad that we have an economic system dependent on bad choices and people who probably don't want kids who feel forced.
@@vixxcelacea2778 Children are a blessing from above ♥ sad that you can't see that and probably never will which is good, we don't need more of your type in the world. Keep your legs closed.
Ah, this classic. The contraception song.
This is exactly what I expected from a song about birth. I don't want to have children ever.
Came onto YT to get "My Sperm is Healthy" out of my head, but NEW SONGS! Probably gross! About to watch and find out 😅
Edit: Totally worth it. Getting this song in my head I mean, not childbirth.
Favorite song! 😂😂
It's settled. I'm adopting.
She look so amazing
My best friends just given birth and I’m so tempted to send this to her 🤣 but then again I enjoy being alive 😅
Just sent it to my friend who just had a little girl.
Donna Lynne Champlin is amazing.
The set and costumes in this song are simultaneously so beautiful and so artfully graphic
Fucking yes, her voice was perfect for that song.
If you're in Indonesia and have Netflix, listen to this song in dubbed version. Hilarious! Kudos to the translator and the re-arranger.
she is amazing!!! the look on her face when she sees the doctor at the end. the little girls dancing were soooo adorable
This is exactly why I love this show. Also it's pretty accurate about childbirth. Lol 💜😂👏🏼👏🏼
TEAR, TEAR, TEAR
I keep replaying this song hoping it gets better. It never gets better. This is horrifying information
She has such gorgeous hair!
Donna is a fucking national treasure
Paula is my spirit animal
Emailing this to my biology teacher to show during sex ed
This honestly may be Donna Lynne Champlin's finest moment to date.
I have two pregnant students. I'm seriously considering showing this song to them. 😂
DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!!!
Abandoned Hope I did to one of them (I don't have internet access when teaching the other one) 😂
She laughed histerically. And then we went onto a debate about how damaging it is that the media never really discusses the most realistic parts of pregnancy and birth.
Omg pleeease be my teacher 😄😍
Make that gift to the world
Hope you actually did it XD
Haven't watched the epi yet, but I keep screaming (inside my head, of course) GET THE EPIDURAL!!!! HEATHER!!!
or a c section
Yeah I wondered why she and Donna didn't simply get an epidural
@@JohnnyRoseofVersailles while I think C-sections should be available to any informed pregnant person who wants one... they are major surgery, and there's a surprisingly high risk* to the baby and potentially the pregnant parent (because again, major surgery) when one is performed, because of how low the baby drops during labor and where it is (AKA where the doctor has to cut), so they're mostly only done when there's an emergency, and the baby or pregnant person could potentially die. Most doctors prefer conventional/vaginal delivery whenever it's viable, because frankly (in addition to wanting their patients to be safe, of course) they don't want to do a risky procedure that could maybe even land them in civil court for a malpractice or "wrongful birth"** suit, unless they have to.
(*It's still a safe procedure overall, especially given the alternatives in the situations when it typically gets performed, but it can be risky.)
(** AKA "our baby is disabled because of how you delivered them and you owe us damages" suit - the name "wrongful birth" is kind of fucked up and ableist, but parents often do it because they worry the kid will have future medical bills or living expenses they won't be able to cover otherwise, especially since disabled people are statistically more likely to be unemployed and live in poverty... Anyway this is why we need Medicare/Medicaid for all, and a robust social welfare safety net, as well as a cultural shift away from ableist norms. Also, mothers/pregnant parents who have C-sections aren't lazy or failing their babies, they're BAMFs.)
The reactions from everyone in the dr office, INCLUDING the dr. Poor heather!
OK, I always knew giving birth was gross but this paints a whole new disgusting picture. Who else is adopting?
I'm gay sooooo. I guess so.
I wholeheartedly agree that it’s gross, and I have four kids.
Nah, it's nothing I'm not used to reading or hearing or seeing by now. Still want to adopt for my own moral reasons, but if I became pregnant by accident, I know exactly how gross and painful is going to be. I was a little over 10 pounds so my mom's told me dozens of times by now how much pain I put her through and all the effects it had on her body. But apparently I was worth it.
I am utterly terrified of pregnancy so adoption/fostering all the way
PandaMonika If I’m ever having a kid, I’m gonna opt for a c section. No one needs to go through that nightmare. Human birthing is the most painful among all the mammals :( human babies’ heads are just too big and out pelvis is too small, so we are destined to be in agony.
When ever I get baby fever, I come here
tear tear tear
Incredible emotional song ever....And Amazing voice of Donna with the cute choreography from sweet little babies girls !!!!
BURN,BURN,BURN~
Another Donna Lynne Champlin classic!!!
The casting and choreography process for those girls must’ve been really interesting
2:34 “it’s your baby” kills me every time
The worst part imo is NOT the pain but how absolutely tierd you are. I would have loved a nap during labor bc whew I don't know how I managed to keep my head up without nodding off. Ring of fire...also true 😬
Donna slaying every songs since season 1
So perfect! Her voice and her looks and those kids and the truth and so perfect!!!