Pretty late to the comment section but here I go. I am a male who started doing Jiu Jitsu since the age of 5 and ended up becoming an instructor (I have around 13 years of experience, because I took a break here and there). I have rolled with quite a few women (both beginner and advanced) in my time and I have some pointers: -Fighting with a woman for the first time can be awkward. You just have to realise that both of you are there for the same reason, getting your Jiu Jitsu on. Just keep a clear mind and roll as you usually would do. This also means picking up on their vibes i.e. are they a hardcore fighter, are they technical, are they just there for a good workout etc. and rolling accordingly. -You will end up touching boobs. Jiu Jitsu is a very, very close contact sport, you will often end up touching, putting pressure or even have your face full of chest (especially if they grab your neck in top mount). Just don't be a creep about it. You know what is happening as much as she does. It's not some sexual thing or whatever so don't make it one. You are just there to roll and learn something. Some techniques will cause you to position yourself in somewhat inappropriate places (A good example is butterfly guard where your feet is dangerously close to the other person's crotch). Don't think too much about it, we are all mature people here. -This is somewhat more advanced but don't S mount a woman. This is when you are in top mount and you place your leg behind the opponent's head. This causes you to center all of your mass to one small location. A 80kg fighter can feel like 160kg with this technique. It can genuinely make it very difficult to breath and might even hurt your opponent. (Also for the ladies, I would encourage you to do it if you are fighting a guy, a bit of their own medicine haha) -Be polite, but not too polite. Realise that you are fighting a much smaller opponent and act accordingly BUT do not treat them like some fragile puppy. It is quite demeaning for them (a lot of new and experienced women often talked to me about this and it can be very frustrating for them) -This one is a bit more on the fun side. Women are often shorter than men while also have very large hips compared to a male. This means that women are basically hip throwing machines. They can easily hip throw someone twice their weight if they have good technique. So if you really want to put your breakfalls to the test ask a more experienced woman to do a hip throw with you. They will flip you like a pillow. Sorry for my ramble but I hope this helps. At the end of the day its all about having mutual respect and general politeness.
Awesome stuff, I am here because as a white belt I never really learnt if there are things that you shouldn't do with women. I also try to go their pace, works fine for me. Are there techniques that you shouldn't do, for example use your head to put weight on the chest to advance a position? Or maybe others that are related to breasts in general? I know putting your full weight on them sucks but that's also the case for someone 20 kg lighter than me, is there something more painfull for women?
How can a Father advise their 13 year old daughter before joining BJJ? She started Kick Boxing at JKD, and as uncomfortable as I am, I will also like her to learn BJJ for defense.
@@Figs4Life I recommend you get your daughter into wrestling first. Wrestling will help your daughter get introduced to a grappling background and it will teach you some things that Jiu-jitsu can't, such as takedown and throws. Take it from someone who is 20 and started wrestling in HS. You daughter will have her whole life to learn BJJ as it is growing to be more popular(assuming you live in the US) but learning a high contact sport like wrestling or any sort of striking has its limits. Start her with wrestling and when she transitions to BJJ, it'll be an an easier transition.
@@JayGaddam-mf1vc bjj schools teach takedowns and throws but i agree that wrestling is a good thing to start with because you can get it for free at most public schools
As a white belt woman, I cannot tell you how many times white belt men have just gotten into top mount and put all of their weight down on me. They then proceed to SLOWLY go for an attack and I have to tap before they even get there because they're crushing my ribs. One guy was even like, "I didn't do anything!" 🙄I find that rolling with the gentler upper belts is way better because they don't have anything to prove and they're actually willing to let me practice what I've been learning.
Yes! Rolling with upper belts is definitely helpful and safer. But, when you get more comfortable with your skill set, it is fun to beat up the new guys lol, or at least tire them out :)
In my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison maybe middle plus ish) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But honestly i dont go for submissions a whole lot even if i can id rather work on the technique like i said i fear im coming across taking it easy. Also it’s embarrassing that im always so damIn my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But i also dont always go for submissions every time either instead i try to work on technique
Not that this is the same situation but one time I had a female sit on my face and I tapped almost immediately 😆. She was like "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" I was like, all casually, "Oh, you know, I just felt like I couldn't get out of that one." Really, though, get your vagina off my face!😂
For competition yes but for self defense I would say no. If you wanna learn how to roll with a man you gotta get used to the male agression. You need to learn what works because I will be honest I wreastle and have rolled with ju jitsu martial artists. I am a big guy and that can pick up most men with ease but would probably get my ass beat by a black belt because he can use my size and strength against me. Maby try the smaller guys first then try average sized when you get better try to stay away from the big guys because they could accidentally hurt you. I know this from experience we had a cocky girl in middle school that wanted to wreastle me and other big boys. One of my freinds accidentally sent her to the hospital and he was smaller than me. She is now a junior Olympic champion and can take on most average sized men because she is that skilled. Getting beat up does help believe it or not but it will make you better. Use your legs and use their momentum against them I tell you women hips are annoying to deal with as a guy use them to get into position for submissions. Also watch out for the strength of men you will not over power one with your strength. As my coach would say they are stronger think smarter.
But honestly...it's the same thing with men. I mean...male rolling partners also use their weight to their advantage against other guys. I am about 210-215 and my brown belt coach even gave me the advice to use my weight as kind of a weapon. He said that my weight is an advantage over lighter guys so I should use it. Besides that I prefer to roll with higher belts as well because I feel much safer since higher belts are way more in control of their body and their movement plus they don't have anything to prove. They are very aware of the fact that they could end this entire thing any time they want to so they let you work a little bit, give you certain positions. They might even let their arm sticking out on purpose just to see if you are executing an armbar the right way. Whereas when I roll with other white belts I feel like they are going all in and with almost 44 years of age and a history of knee and shoulder injuries I am afraid of getting hurt by them.
Asking "Is this helping my jiu jitsu or is this just helping my ego?" is a great way to know when you're doing something wrong. In the case of being in someone's guard and just using your weight to pressure them and blade their neck - you're doing that just because you don't know what else can you do and you don't want to get caught in a submission. You might survive the round, but you did not learn anything. You just kept your ego intact. That's a great example. Thanks for that!
Good video. Sorry for my lengthy comment. I achieved yellow belt in Shotokan Karate before I was forced to move around a lot. I was also 13 at the time. The person I sparred with the most was a girl. My guess is she was around 16-18. She was a purple belt, which is about halfway to black belt in the dojo I attended and required about 1.5-2 years of training to achieve. She could compete pretty well with even the instructors. She was the best training partner/rival I had. She would spar just as hard with me as she would an instructor. I think out of the hundreds of spars we had, I won maybe less than 10 of them. What I respected the most about her was that, while others I sparred with were more cautious, she would actively push me past my limits (safely of course). She always seemed to know just the right amount of pressure to apply to make me go all out but not so much that I could not keep up. I ended up matched up against another purple belt in a tournament after just achieving yellow belt. While he was more skilled than me, he was more reckless than the girl I sparred with and I was able to win the match. The ONLY person who believed I could win was her. Not even my instructors expected me to win. I learned so much from her. If she kept up her training, she would be about a 4th dan black belt by now.
I just want to say that for #5, the only time I ever comment on someone's jiu-jitsu during the roll is if they are BRAND NEW and it's obvious they want some tips OR if someone has a really slick move, then I will say something like "Nice!" just to compliment them! I also think it's kind of weird to be commenting on someone else's jiu-jitsu during the roll especially if you know they have some experience! Great video, it's so awesome to see a female on UA-cam talking about the sport! Kind of hard to find!
Rolling with big dudes often feels like trying to keep a brick wall from falling on top of you. But what I've noticed is that rolling with ladies is often like jumping into a blender. Ladies make awesome training partners. Keep it up ladies, much respect!
Perhaps, our treating others with respect, consideration, and fairness, while exhibiting self-control, is a goal we might all strive for whether our BJJ training partner is female or male. When rolling, there are several factors to take into consideration regarding our training partner other than their sex, chief among them being age, size, strength, speed, skill, experience, physical limitations, or knowledge of other grappling arts.
I couldn't have said it better myself! The same applies to other martial arts as well. I do Aikido, and this is a huge part of training---treating your partner with respect.
If some 20 year younger and 50 pounds heavier guys end up mounting me for 3 minutes, I usually ask them if he we can go back to training now, as we have found out that they are younger and stronger then I am. :)
Liked & Subbed. This is great advice for all training partners. I have rolled for years & feel its important to give a little & take a little... when you have the upper hand be it size, strength, or skill its important to give good resistance but to also let your partner work. One of the biggest complements I had was when I overheard a fairly new girl tell another new girl that was hesitant on rolling to ask me & that I was a good partner.
Brad was my friend, we had a fight and he doesn't talk to me anymore! Brad if you can see this unblock me man!!! I didn't mean to armbar your dog but he was passing my guard and left his paws straight!! I couldn't help it!
Brad is such a nice guy and super gentleman. We train together regularly and he always goes easy on the armbars and footlocks. Hes my go-to Training partner. What a guy! Brad for president!!!
Im 215 pounds guy and Rolling with women was super awkward at first because I always had to be aware where my hands are and where to grab and this helped me develop a better defense when I was a white belt, cause we ll know our arms go everywhere when were a white belt lol
I have a tip. Heavy and experienced rollers know what works against them. You should ask them. Im 275lbs and I simply cannot be as fast as athletic tiny builds. Balance and heaviness is my talent. Maybe you're small, mobile and slippery and thats your talent! Just as Im sure people have wished for my strength and size, I have wished I could have the flexibility and efficiency of the little guys. Smaller upper belts feel just as untouchable as big ones. Sometimes they feel like they are riding me like a surfboard. Sometimes it feels like Im a tree being climbed by an angry koala bear.
@@katethegreat4918 Yeah I usually attempt an attack, compromising the position. The truth is, if you don't contend with something that's happening to you in jiu jitsu it's often unpleasant.
I agree with everything in this video! I do cuss from time to time in a roll when I’m in a compromised position though, I am learning to stay calm and work myself into something better . But the occasional f bomb or shit will escape here and there.
I think about trying to avoid creating negative experiences. Don’t injur anyone, don’t knee them in the head because you felt like being explosive. Focus on technique and if you get caught in something, don’t try and explode to get out of it. I want people to train over a long period of time.
Very helpful, thank you! I'm a big guy new to BJJ, but not new to martial arts, so it's easy enough for me to control myself and not to go too hard or hurt my female partners - my main concern is being offensively gentle. I find, like with most things in life, communication is the quickest and easiest way to get on the same page. I simply tell them before the role to let me know at any point if they want me to go more or less intense, then check in once or twice during the role as well. It's a great opportunity to work on technique in place of strength. I also try to make sure I get at least one tap so they know I'm not babying them. This applies to anyone significantly smaller, not just women.
You sound like an excellent training partner, because you are concerned for the safety and dignity of your fellow student, and you are allowing them to learn skills they will need for a larger opponent. I commend you for your training attitude!
Whenever new guys come to the gym, they turn up the turbo, stop breathing and act like it's mortal combat all not to get tapped (by me a white belt girl). It's important any new person coming to a gym understands there is a risk of injury to themselves and the one they are sparring with...
One of the worst things to do during sparring session is pairing a brand new white belt with another white belt with no or little experience. It's the first step to injurying himself. At my gym beginners at their first experience always roll with experienced higher belts. Never with another beginner.
That's kind of the point of training with resistance. Not getting tapped intentionally. It's very fortunate that new people haven't been absorbed into your particular sparring culture and that you experience actual resistance once in a while. Keeps the art honest.
Ngl I was that guy who went hard with everyone when I first started. I’m 6’2, 200 so I’d use my size and strength a lot of times, even with woman. But one day this brown belt girl rolled in for open Matt. She was solid muscle, her thighs were like the hulks thighs. I rolled with her, went hard, and she somehow swept me and took my back, she choked me to sleep with a rear naked choke because I was being stubborn. I woke up to everyone staring at me and some laughing and it was so embarrassing. The brown belt girl just sat there like this was normal for her. It made me realize that I need the technique and using muscle isn’t always the answer. Now I’m able to flow a lot more and people actually like rolling with me now because I’m a good training partner.
Hello, I hope it is not too late to comment, here in Colombia in one of my training sessions (I am a white belt and not long ago I received my 2nd degree) I was with one of my classmates, she is not the one who goes the hardest but many times the anger that makes me put myself in disadvantageous situations I have become a bit aggressive and cutting, Once, out of anger at not being able to enter any guard, I simply got up with force and ran towards her like a bull, I stuck my head into his abdomen so that he wouldn't look for a guillotine and I applied a slam with all my strength and on another occasion he had me in a guard that stressed me a lot and as soon as I had the opportunity I tried to fit a heel hook into him even knowing that it was not possible , I have apologized but it is still difficult for me to work on my ego since my ego could be said to be like my shield when I feel vulnerable and there is no moment in which I do not feel vulnerable, precisely for this reason I feel jiu jitsu but I feel that is not working, do you have any solution that you can give me?
nice tips. it is bit difficult to balance rolling with women especially newer white belts. don't want to go super duper light but at same time i can not lay all my weight nor normal strength. want to make it flowy a bit but don't want to accidentally break something
Last class, I rolled for the first time with a woman (I'm in my 5 class, meaning, I just a baby on BJJ), she is 56y, and Jesus Christ the lady was strong! Besides that she is a 3rd degree blue belt! I learned a lot rolling with her! However..... I'm a 28y guy, 230lbs, that traines for a long time (gym and CrossFit) Of course! I wouldn't use my entire strength on her, that wouldn't be safe! And the best part is that not using my entire strength forced me to use every single brain cell to discover how to control her without just pushing her to ceiling But like you said, I didn't went super light on her I matched her strength! And about the comments during the roll, she was the one doing that... But she was teaching me a lot, and I don't mind, so that was great Beside that, she was goddammit funny kkkk I watched your videos before, I believe it helped kk PS.: She was quite impressed, probably it was an while she didn't see a calm white belt kkk, so thanks for the tips
I think it's quite simple: If you're a guy rolling with a girl (or a guy who smaller or weaker than you), you should follow this rule set - Don't smash, don't crush, don't rag doll, but don't LET them win.
good content im a purple belt 260lb. when i role with new women or new white belts i do just enough to not lose the round and then submit them at least once, or twice/ i say excuse me when i accidently touch a boob. i believe their is no reason to stalemate a training partner, let them work their escape or pass. that is my rant for today.
I’m new to jiu jitsu (2 months) so basically have very little technical ability and there’s a championship winning black belt woman in my group. She’s obviously technically amazing but I practically weigh twice as much as her…I’ve managed to avoid rolling with her so far but I know it’s only a matter of time so what’s the best way to approach that!? TYIA 🙏
I would try to get my hands on her asap! But I completely understand being so new and it's very intimidating. I would sort of assess her demeanor. Is she super friendly and do you see here rolling with all belt levels? At the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to just ask :)
😅 im much seasoned as a 4 stripe white belt. I take on quite a few females at my dojo, i usually don't reject nor get angry at anyone when we practice technique and spar. Despite the fact im one of 4 ppl whom are the tallest, im more concerned i don't get submitted in less than 5 seconds XD
Ok... Wow! This was a good video. But there's a bunch of stuff that I disagree with--but that's probably because it's a gender and personality clash. I'm a guy, and I love talking during my rolls (mainly getting feedback from the higher belts). Also, if I curse, I aint cursing at my partner but at my own incompetence. But women....oh women.... they do take it personally or get upset. Note to self: don't cuss when rolling with women. Also, I think we need to communicate before the roll if we should talk during it or only after it.
I just started BJJ. My wife and I are Christian, and she doesn't want me rolling with women. It never even crossed my mind that would be inappropriate. Have you ever had a guy refuse to roll with you because of religious reasons? Not sure if it's rude to refuse to roll with women, or how I should say it.
Fellow Christian here, hi :) And I have! A man who is Jewish and a few Muslim men have kindly refused to roll, and also shake hands at the end of class. I don't find it offensive - it is nice though when they let me know why they won't shake my hand or roll. I would just let them know that because of religious reasons, you choose to only roll with men.
i'm the smallest guy in my gym, and i'm a blue belt, so the ladies tend to partner with me because they know i won't crush them, and i have control over what our bodies are doing. if they're white belts, i like to get them in bad positions, and treat it like active drilling, so they can learn how to escape.
It's good advice, but I can't understand why guys can't get this without help. I'm 6'4" 220 lbs and I've never had an issue getting that I'm bigger and heavier and rolling appropriately. I like rolling with woman as it's an all skill roll with no power involved.
This martial art needs to start in middle school. Every child must attend. This would be a great way for the school to come together and establish a hierarchy and closeness with people.
what about guys like me who talk to themselves during a roll? I'm always muttering to myself. sometimes I curse at myself. The rest I get it. We don't roll as much in judo but this all applies here as well.
I mean, I guess do whatever makes you get through the roll lol 🤷🏼♀️ I personally don’t like when any one curses during a roll, I just don’t think it’s necessary. But that’s just my opinion 😬
Aw I know it can be uncomfortable sometimes, but keep showing up! Some of my favorite training partners are guys. I'd recommend rolling with as many upper belts as you can because they will be the safest!
hello Kimberly, I know this may sound stupid but, i have watched a lot of "you tube" i know that men have strength, women have flexibility and better legs. 95% percent of the competition I watch that are mixed, the female winds up smashing the guy? do you believe that women are that much better then men or is it about 50/50?
I think it's especially hard as a relatively new white belt rolling with any girl who has some color on their belt. Also as a smaller guy, I'm typically not much heavier than the girls I roll with if at all. It would be easier if I was big and strong and skilled, if the girl never posed any threat to me, I could basically let them work through everything, create like a sandbox for them to play in. Because I'm neither big nor skilled. If I go too easy on a girl with color on her belt, I can get tapped out with basically anything because she knows far more techniques and it's also not interesting for her because she's facing too little resistance. As a small guy I'm used to basically just hanging on vs much bigger guys, so while I don't have much skill in technique I'm very good at holding on for dear life to not get smashed. Against a girl, I still have no technique, but if I just hang on for dear life then it's not necessarily easy to shake me. And I only have a competent grasp on like 2-3 submissions, so a girl with color on her belt will know how to defend against those and it just becomes very boring since I'm just trying the same two submissions and she's just defending against them. I've tried to solve this a couple ways. Starting in bad positions or giving up bad positions can work. But the moment I escape a bad position, things stalemate again, so I just try to reset into a bad position. Giving some inches of space here and there also sometimes works but depending on the position, giving space just creates more scrambles, which are fun but also really tiring for both parties.
Yes you can. Professor abby can defeat me easily. Strength does help. But Jiu-Jitsu is about techniques and leverage. Abby is a black belt. I just a white belt.
@@joseichoshow9846 In your case it's possible because of the ENORMOUS gap between you (black Vs white belt). But size, weight and strenght are decisely a great factor when the gap of skill is not so huge.
Sexual discomfort should not happen. End of. would you feel sexual discomfort when rolling with a dude? no. The idea that you would experience sexual discomfort when rolling with a woman suggests that you cant see past the body parts she has, to the strong jiu jitsu practitioner she really is. If you're feeling sexual discomfort, she will know, so sort it out before you start rolling with women. When this has happened to me, it has made me feel entirely disrespected personally, as a training partner, and as a woman. My reason for being on those mats is to learn to defend myself in a safe environment against people who see my body as a sexual object. If the men I train with see my body in the same way, then they have invaded my safe space. I will not roll with you, and I'll probably warn the other girls not to as well.
@@larajones1681 Disconfort can absolutely HAPPEN to everyone. Everybody can feel unconfortable for any reason. Also for sexual discomfort. When I was a new brand beginner once I had to stop rolling with a girl who I found very attractive, because I had a boner and I felt very embarrassed, even though she didn't even noticed it. Since then I never trained with a woman again so as not to face the same situation any more. We are not made all in the same way, you are not me and I'm not you. And BJJ is not like playing tennis. It's high contact sport. With a guy this never happened simply because I'm straight and then I don't feel any kind of a sexual impulse towards a man. So you can't compare two totally different situations. There were cases where also women felt very uncomfortable to play with a man. Each to their own.
@@larajones1681 There is absolutely no way you can know whether someone is feeling "sexual discomfort". Personally, the moment I slap and bump my brain goes from smash mode to smesh mode. But if you somehow stay horny through a roll, that's not something you should be blamed for.
@EldocSabote If you are speaking of the sexual discomfort from a male point of view, maybe speak with a male older than you as to how they deal with this situation when working with a female partner. As a woman, I can say that you are on the right path to becoming a respectful person towards women. I had a training partner (in a martial art unlike this one) who was autistic and he couldn't help his natural reaction to training with me, but recognized he would be unable to train with me without it happening. So we did not train together. And it was fine. I took no offense because he was respectful to me. But as a guy you are definitely capable of controlling your thoughts and your body. And martial arts forces you to be in survival mode for the most part; I'd think someone trying to attack you would trigger your fight or flight feelings the most. If you are speaking of female sexual discomfort, as in not feeling safe rolling with a male, you can simply ask your female training partner if she's uncomfortable with certain positions (some women might have been assaulted before and feel scared to train with a man). As a woman, we do want to feel safe with our training partners and have trust, and we do need certain positions to help us figure out what to do if we are attacked in those positions. If the woman is fine with certain positions, by all means train with respect. You are helping her learn to defend herself, and you are helping yourself figure out how to control your reaction on the mat. In any physical sport, mutual respect is the utmost important skill you can have. I hope this helps give some insight to the woman's point of view on this matter.
Excellent tips! Thank you. Question for you, how do you feel about hand placement while rolling? For example is it inappropriate to reach inside the top of the pants for a grip or to grip close to a woman’s breasts? I hope this question doesn’t come across creepy, I just avoid such grips and I’m wondering if it matters?
It doesn't matter to me personally, but it might be different for someone else. My coach teaches a lot of positions where you grab the top of the pants, so for me it's normal. I guess the best piece of advice I can give you, is if you go for grips like that, make sure it's with a purpose :)
I just started jiu jitsu and I've got a lot of bruises on my chest already, doesn't that happen with your breasts? Do you think there are techniques we should just avoid when rolling with women?
Tips for guys rolling with women: Politely say: "Thanks but I don't feel comfortable rolling with girls. I hope you don't mind." And that's it.... as simple as that...
11 o'clock in the morning? the morning? I don't know, very little of this sounded like advice for rolling with women, it just sounded like good advice for rolling period.
I get that you don't want to hear comments during your roll, however are you telling me that if you have a new male white belt and you are dominating him, you can't do something during the roll. you stated earlier that we should always want people to come back and train, do you think a new jiu jitsu wants to hear "you just need to get better" even if you are just thinking it? people don't want to train and be dominated! it is not okay for a man to sit there and man handle a female, but it is ok for the opposite? why?
You have a million statements in this one comment, so this is confusing. But.. when in this video did I say it was okay for a female to sit there and dominate a man (I'm assuming you mean by just sitting in side control, mount, etc.) ? Man or woman, no matter what weight you are, I think if someone you're rolling with is brand new, I don't think it's constructive ever really to just sit on top of someone for a long period of time.
@@kimberlykinch I get that men need to think about how much they roll with women, but someone dominating their partner could be discouraging. And let me ask you a question, men need to do more to help rolling to be affective and beneficial, do you think there is anything females can do especially those with more experience and higher belts. I am just starting and it would be frustrating to be dominated
@@stevefrazier3381 this video was talking about a particular circumstance that someone asked about, so that’s why I’m only talking about how men should roll with women. Obviously both men and women should work on being good training partners for one another. If you’re just beginning, try to get some rolls in with upper belts. They’ll give you good rolls based on skill. But remember, it’s jiu jitsu, so you’re gonna get your butt kicked no matter what.
I’m a tad late in the comment section but *I am a feminist and believe in equality* I roll with a female white belt the same way as a male brown belt. I smash! They signed the waiver! Oss
Let's not forget that women are on a spectrum just like men are, so it is not always a given that the man will be stronger than the woman. I have experienced this myself with skinny dudes who probably never lifted a weight in their life. On AVERAGE, a man is stronger than a woman, but sometimes that's not true.
This. Nothing disappoints me more than when the new guy gets beat by me and never comes back. I almost always go easy on the new guy. Like I'll slide into mount and not go for a sub. I'll just sit there and let them figure out how to escape or I'll teach them how to escape. But sometimes I think the guy doesn't come back because he still "lost" to a female in his mind because he couldn't get me off of him, or I took him down with a sneaky takedown he never knew was even possible, or I got his back and got my hands into position for a RNC, but didn't actually choke, just let him feel that I was there and had it, and maybe that was too much for him. Makes me sad if they quit because of that. But if the new guy is trying to slaughter me, well then I don't go easy and don't feel bad if I win.
Your "ego" is why you train in the first place. And if you think you can do sth like leaving it at the door, you are fully captured by grandiose stories about your own humility, which are completely fictional.
@@bethbennett2106 Tell me something Beth. How much experience did you have at that time when it happened and how big was the new guy or your weight? Because i have a hard time believing women "beating" full grown relatively strong men if they went 100 percent. I'm a beginner myself, exclusively train in nogi (don't like gi nor see any major point with it), even squared up against a woman in my second class rolling (still at my second class) with 3-4 years of experience and she trains there regularly, at the very least 3 times a week, i haven't been to class since last week due to schedule and life. Anyway, when i rolled with her (and she was quite weird, but that's another story), i never felt in any danger at all, even used 50 percent of my strength which is more than i intended against her due to being a beginner and not knowing how to move properly or any technique, even got her in kimura. I mean sure she tried an armbar from closed guard but i easily took my arm of her grip, she even tried arm triangle from half guard, still not enough pressure, she never got in major dominant positions like taking my back, having mount etc. Are you sure that guy quit because you beat him? Or maybe it's because he didn't like the sport nor it's awkward intimate close contact, especially with the opposing gender etc? I'm not trying to discredit women in the sport at all and their capabilities grappling, i'm just telling you from my own personal experience. Maybe i'm wrong? Even the experienced guys in that gym (everyone except my cousin who trained 10 years in nogi and is very big and strong) have to work to submit me, even those in my weight class (185 lbs) i even escaped some of the tight arm triangle and anaconda holds, therefore seeing a woman pulling it off very hard, let alone me with little bit of experience. There's no ego here, just reality check from my recollection.
I am a white belt but I am very advanced for my rank. A new guy kept talking while doing the technique, he gave me instructions lol and I just said shut up and do the technique. Easy as that. I don't talk when I roll. I dont show emotions when I roll. If someone hit me unintentionally I just keep rolling. I hate talkers and pussys. I go easy with women, I just focus on doing the technique and not using strenght
I try to avoid rolling with females, at least at my stage (beginner). The main reason is I don’t want to get feelings for someone I have to train with. I also don’t like seeing women’s behinds and beautiful hips in tight spandex during no-gi. I do my best to avoid looking but it’s annoying. Those are my feelings. I fully support women training
Tips when rolling with guys 1. Be mindful of our balls 2. Dont go 100% when we’re going 30% 3. Most of us are socially awkward af, please forgive our “Scaring The Hoes” type vibe we’re giving off as we’re uncomfortable around u 4. Remember we’re letting u work; u might get some subs on us (cuz we let u) 5. Remember, ur here to also defend urself. In a real fight against a male adversary there’s no stop using strength or lets start on the ground Ideally, everyone should roll/talk w everyone. Unfortunately we’re still in this taboo period where A LOT of ppl dont roll nor talk to the opposite sex I been training at my bjj gym for 2 years, there’s females there tht i have literally never spoken to
@@kimberlykinch Me suggesting another solution to the problems of gender differences in grappling does not mean I don’t like chicks grappling. A reasonable solution to women’s issues with grappling is to just not roll with women.
@@wmhs02dm Right, some very high level grappling coaches don’t roll with women. Fairs who is GSP grappling coach doesn’t roll with women. A guy choosing not to roll with women isn’t a negative, it solves a lot of problems.
Pretty late to the comment section but here I go. I am a male who started doing Jiu Jitsu since the age of 5 and ended up becoming an instructor (I have around 13 years of experience, because I took a break here and there). I have rolled with quite a few women (both beginner and advanced) in my time and I have some pointers:
-Fighting with a woman for the first time can be awkward. You just have to realise that both of you are there for the same reason, getting your Jiu Jitsu on. Just keep a clear mind and roll as you usually would do. This also means picking up on their vibes i.e. are they a hardcore fighter, are they technical, are they just there for a good workout etc. and rolling accordingly.
-You will end up touching boobs. Jiu Jitsu is a very, very close contact sport, you will often end up touching, putting pressure or even have your face full of chest (especially if they grab your neck in top mount). Just don't be a creep about it. You know what is happening as much as she does. It's not some sexual thing or whatever so don't make it one. You are just there to roll and learn something. Some techniques will cause you to position yourself in somewhat inappropriate places (A good example is butterfly guard where your feet is dangerously close to the other person's crotch). Don't think too much about it, we are all mature people here.
-This is somewhat more advanced but don't S mount a woman. This is when you are in top mount and you place your leg behind the opponent's head. This causes you to center all of your mass to one small location. A 80kg fighter can feel like 160kg with this technique. It can genuinely make it very difficult to breath and might even hurt your opponent. (Also for the ladies, I would encourage you to do it if you are fighting a guy, a bit of their own medicine haha)
-Be polite, but not too polite. Realise that you are fighting a much smaller opponent and act accordingly BUT do not treat them like some fragile puppy. It is quite demeaning for them (a lot of new and experienced women often talked to me about this and it can be very frustrating for them)
-This one is a bit more on the fun side. Women are often shorter than men while also have very large hips compared to a male. This means that women are basically hip throwing machines. They can easily hip throw someone twice their weight if they have good technique. So if you really want to put your breakfalls to the test ask a more experienced woman to do a hip throw with you. They will flip you like a pillow.
Sorry for my ramble but I hope this helps. At the end of the day its all about having mutual respect and general politeness.
This was great !
:)
Awesome stuff, I am here because as a white belt I never really learnt if there are things that you shouldn't do with women. I also try to go their pace, works fine for me. Are there techniques that you shouldn't do, for example use your head to put weight on the chest to advance a position? Or maybe others that are related to breasts in general? I know putting your full weight on them sucks but that's also the case for someone 20 kg lighter than me, is there something more painfull for women?
How can a Father advise their 13 year old daughter before joining BJJ?
She started Kick Boxing at JKD, and as uncomfortable as I am, I will also like her to learn BJJ for defense.
@@Figs4Life I recommend you get your daughter into wrestling first. Wrestling will help your daughter get introduced to a grappling background and it will teach you some things that Jiu-jitsu can't, such as takedown and throws. Take it from someone who is 20 and started wrestling in HS. You daughter will have her whole life to learn BJJ as it is growing to be more popular(assuming you live in the US) but learning a high contact sport like wrestling or any sort of striking has its limits. Start her with wrestling and when she transitions to BJJ, it'll be an an easier transition.
@@JayGaddam-mf1vc bjj schools teach takedowns and throws but i agree that wrestling is a good thing to start with because you can get it for free at most public schools
As a white belt woman, I cannot tell you how many times white belt men have just gotten into top mount and put all of their weight down on me. They then proceed to SLOWLY go for an attack and I have to tap before they even get there because they're crushing my ribs. One guy was even like, "I didn't do anything!" 🙄I find that rolling with the gentler upper belts is way better because they don't have anything to prove and they're actually willing to let me practice what I've been learning.
Yes! Rolling with upper belts is definitely helpful and safer. But, when you get more comfortable with your skill set, it is fun to beat up the new guys lol, or at least tire them out :)
In my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison maybe middle plus ish) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But honestly i dont go for submissions a whole lot even if i can id rather work on the technique like i said i fear im coming across taking it easy. Also it’s embarrassing that im always so damIn my mind i remove the male female aspect and assess them as a training partner regardless. I doubt id ever come across as a bully or overkill with my strength and size by using it to my advantage against a female that happens to be smaller than me and a white belt. (Im also white belt male 6’ around 215-220 so bigger guy i guess but definitely not that big especially my gym im a middle size guy in comparison) anyway i assess training partners and if they are way higher rank and more skilled and experienced then my goal is to survive really and if i can submit sure but that doesnt happen much with purple belt and above especially and obviously. My fear, rather, is that they feel like im assaulting their honor so to speak or “taking it easy” or something and thinking it’s because they are female. Which isnt the case i mean well i do but as a white belt it would be pretentious of me to think i could “coach” anyone. But in my assessment of my training partners if they are white belts like me rather than spam my size and strength id rather take that opportunity to work on our skills together and sometimes let them spend time on top so i can work from the bottom because i need help there and if im against a larger male purple belt im screwed i cant do much but in those instances i can work on the technique and actually pull it off to escape or whatever. Its a large grey area and like im trying to express i dont want the female training partners of mine to think im going too easy on them and perhaps doing so is a disservice to them because in a real match or real fight no one will go easy and it may be better for them to get more of the real experience i just dont think it should come from me. If that makes sense im trying to learn too i just dont want to offend my female partners in the sense of me “taking it easy” i try to push them in a healthy way the best i can and win solely using skills and techniques ive learned in class not with my strength and size. But i also dont always go for submissions every time either instead i try to work on technique
Not that this is the same situation but one time I had a female sit on my face and I tapped almost immediately 😆. She was like "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" I was like, all casually, "Oh, you know, I just felt like I couldn't get out of that one."
Really, though, get your vagina off my face!😂
For competition yes but for self defense I would say no. If you wanna learn how to roll with a man you gotta get used to the male agression. You need to learn what works because I will be honest I wreastle and have rolled with ju jitsu martial artists. I am a big guy and that can pick up most men with ease but would probably get my ass beat by a black belt because he can use my size and strength against me. Maby try the smaller guys first then try average sized when you get better try to stay away from the big guys because they could accidentally hurt you. I know this from experience we had a cocky girl in middle school that wanted to wreastle me and other big boys. One of my freinds accidentally sent her to the hospital and he was smaller than me. She is now a junior Olympic champion and can take on most average sized men because she is that skilled. Getting beat up does help believe it or not but it will make you better. Use your legs and use their momentum against them I tell you women hips are annoying to deal with as a guy use them to get into position for submissions. Also watch out for the strength of men you will not over power one with your strength. As my coach would say they are stronger think smarter.
But honestly...it's the same thing with men. I mean...male rolling partners also use their weight to their advantage against other guys. I am about 210-215 and my brown belt coach even gave me the advice to use my weight as kind of a weapon. He said that my weight is an advantage over lighter guys so I should use it. Besides that I prefer to roll with higher belts as well because I feel much safer since higher belts are way more in control of their body and their movement plus they don't have anything to prove. They are very aware of the fact that they could end this entire thing any time they want to so they let you work a little bit, give you certain positions. They might even let their arm sticking out on purpose just to see if you are executing an armbar the right way. Whereas when I roll with other white belts I feel like they are going all in and with almost 44 years of age and a history of knee and shoulder injuries I am afraid of getting hurt by them.
Asking "Is this helping my jiu jitsu or is this just helping my ego?" is a great way to know when you're doing something wrong.
In the case of being in someone's guard and just using your weight to pressure them and blade their neck - you're doing that just because you don't know what else can you do and you don't want to get caught in a submission. You might survive the round, but you did not learn anything. You just kept your ego intact. That's a great example. Thanks for that!
Yes it is, that’s a perfect way of putting it! Thank you for your input and for watching! :)
Depends on what you are learning for.
It was good to hear a woman’s perspective on this.
Most videos on this subject are by guys
Good video. Sorry for my lengthy comment. I achieved yellow belt in Shotokan Karate before I was forced to move around a lot. I was also 13 at the time. The person I sparred with the most was a girl. My guess is she was around 16-18. She was a purple belt, which is about halfway to black belt in the dojo I attended and required about 1.5-2 years of training to achieve. She could compete pretty well with even the instructors. She was the best training partner/rival I had. She would spar just as hard with me as she would an instructor. I think out of the hundreds of spars we had, I won maybe less than 10 of them. What I respected the most about her was that, while others I sparred with were more cautious, she would actively push me past my limits (safely of course). She always seemed to know just the right amount of pressure to apply to make me go all out but not so much that I could not keep up. I ended up matched up against another purple belt in a tournament after just achieving yellow belt. While he was more skilled than me, he was more reckless than the girl I sparred with and I was able to win the match. The ONLY person who believed I could win was her. Not even my instructors expected me to win. I learned so much from her. If she kept up her training, she would be about a 4th dan black belt by now.
I just want to say that for #5, the only time I ever comment on someone's jiu-jitsu during the roll is if they are BRAND NEW and it's obvious they want some tips OR if someone has a really slick move, then I will say something like "Nice!" just to compliment them! I also think it's kind of weird to be commenting on someone else's jiu-jitsu during the roll especially if you know they have some experience! Great video, it's so awesome to see a female on UA-cam talking about the sport! Kind of hard to find!
Yes I agree, those are the perfect scenarios to make a comment! Thanks so much for watching :)
Rolling with big dudes often feels like trying to keep a brick wall from falling on top of you. But what I've noticed is that rolling with ladies is often like jumping into a blender. Ladies make awesome training partners. Keep it up ladies, much respect!
Thanks so much!
LOLLL that's the best comparison I've ever heard.
Perhaps, our treating others with respect, consideration, and fairness, while exhibiting self-control, is a goal we might all strive for whether our BJJ training partner is female or male. When rolling, there are several factors to take into consideration regarding our training partner other than their sex, chief among them being age, size, strength, speed, skill, experience, physical limitations, or knowledge of other grappling arts.
Well said
I couldn't have said it better myself! The same applies to other martial arts as well. I do Aikido, and this is a huge part of training---treating your partner with respect.
Just subbed. Brad is a good friend of mine. He recommended your channel. This is a great response to his question. 😊👊🏻
Awesome thanks so much!
If some 20 year younger and 50 pounds heavier guys end up mounting me for 3 minutes, I usually ask them if he we can go back to training now, as we have found out that they are younger and stronger then I am. :)
lol!
Or you could ask for a specific roll or position without being snarky.
Liked & Subbed. This is great advice for all training partners. I have rolled for years & feel its important to give a little & take a little... when you have the upper hand be it size, strength, or skill its important to give good resistance but to also let your partner work. One of the biggest complements I had was when I overheard a fairly new girl tell another new girl that was hesitant on rolling to ask me & that I was a good partner.
I'm a new white belt. This video was helpful thank you.
I'm so glad it was!
:)
Brad was my friend, we had a fight and he doesn't talk to me anymore! Brad if you can see this unblock me man!!! I didn't mean to armbar your dog but he was passing my guard and left his paws straight!! I couldn't help it!
Brad is such a nice guy and super gentleman. We train together regularly and he always goes easy on the armbars and footlocks. Hes my go-to Training partner. What a guy! Brad for president!!!
OMG I love Brad!!
As a 125lb 3 month white belt, who rolls almost exclusively with 180lb+ dudes.... thank you for this lol. Please don't smoosh me, I'm little :(
If u can’t stopped from getting smooshed then how are u gonna defend urself
@@attackscorpion5323 how am I gonna learn to defend myself if all I do is get smooshed?
@@ashleyacker9430
You will learn
Im 215 pounds guy and Rolling with women was super awkward at first because I always had to be aware where my hands are and where to grab and this helped me develop a better defense when I was a white belt, cause we ll know our arms go everywhere when were a white belt lol
Yes! lol. The awareness always helps one way or another :)
I have a tip. Heavy and experienced rollers know what works against them. You should ask them. Im 275lbs and I simply cannot be as fast as athletic tiny builds. Balance and heaviness is my talent. Maybe you're small, mobile and slippery and thats your talent! Just as Im sure people have wished for my strength and size, I have wished I could have the flexibility and efficiency of the little guys. Smaller upper belts feel just as untouchable as big ones. Sometimes they feel like they are riding me like a surfboard. Sometimes it feels like Im a tree being climbed by an angry koala bear.
That’s fine, but if you spend the whole time in side guard or mount without doing anything, it’s unpleasant for the other person.
@@katethegreat4918 Yeah I usually attempt an attack, compromising the position. The truth is, if you don't contend with something that's happening to you in jiu jitsu it's often unpleasant.
Nah when u get better those smaller guys will get smashed by you, size is everything is grappling
@@attackscorpion5323 Exactly, there a reason why there are weight classes or gender classes for that matter.
I agree with everything in this video! I do cuss from time to time in a roll when I’m in a compromised position though, I am learning to stay calm and work myself into something better . But the occasional f bomb or shit will escape here and there.
Lollll nothing wrong with being a work in progress :D
I have the same problem and im a female, lol.
If I feel like I'm going for a sweep and could just tackle someone, male or female, I'll try to ease up and let the technique decide if it worked.
There ya go! That's a great mindset.
I think about trying to avoid creating negative experiences. Don’t injur anyone, don’t knee them in the head because you felt like being explosive. Focus on technique and if you get caught in something, don’t try and explode to get out of it. I want people to train over a long period of time.
Perfect way of thinking!
Very helpful, thank you! I'm a big guy new to BJJ, but not new to martial arts, so it's easy enough for me to control myself and not to go too hard or hurt my female partners - my main concern is being offensively gentle. I find, like with most things in life, communication is the quickest and easiest way to get on the same page. I simply tell them before the role to let me know at any point if they want me to go more or less intense, then check in once or twice during the role as well. It's a great opportunity to work on technique in place of strength. I also try to make sure I get at least one tap so they know I'm not babying them. This applies to anyone significantly smaller, not just women.
You sound like an excellent training partner, because you are concerned for the safety and dignity of your fellow student, and you are allowing them to learn skills they will need for a larger opponent. I commend you for your training attitude!
Whenever new guys come to the gym, they turn up the turbo, stop breathing and act like it's mortal combat all not to get tapped (by me a white belt girl). It's important any new person coming to a gym understands there is a risk of injury to themselves and the one they are sparring with...
One of the worst things to do during sparring session is pairing a brand new white belt with another white belt with no or little experience. It's the first step to injurying himself.
At my gym beginners at their first experience always roll with experienced higher belts. Never with another beginner.
That's kind of the point of training with resistance. Not getting tapped intentionally.
It's very fortunate that new people haven't been absorbed into your particular sparring culture and that you experience actual resistance once in a while. Keeps the art honest.
Ngl I was that guy who went hard with everyone when I first started. I’m 6’2, 200 so I’d use my size and strength a lot of times, even with woman. But one day this brown belt girl rolled in for open Matt. She was solid muscle, her thighs were like the hulks thighs. I rolled with her, went hard, and she somehow swept me and took my back, she choked me to sleep with a rear naked choke because I was being stubborn. I woke up to everyone staring at me and some laughing and it was so embarrassing. The brown belt girl just sat there like this was normal for her. It made me realize that I need the technique and using muscle isn’t always the answer. Now I’m able to flow a lot more and people actually like rolling with me now because I’m a good training partner.
Hello, I hope it is not too late to comment, here in Colombia in one of my training sessions (I am a white belt and not long ago I received my 2nd degree) I was with one of my classmates, she is not the one who goes the hardest but many times the anger that makes me put myself in disadvantageous situations I have become a bit aggressive and cutting,
Once, out of anger at not being able to enter any guard, I simply got up with force and ran towards her like a bull,
I stuck my head into his abdomen so that he wouldn't look for a guillotine and I applied a slam with all my strength and on another occasion he had me in a guard that stressed me a lot and as soon as I had the opportunity I tried to fit a heel hook into him even knowing that it was not possible ,
I have apologized but it is still difficult for me to work on my ego since my ego could be said to be like my shield when I feel vulnerable and there is no moment in which I do not feel vulnerable, precisely for this reason I feel jiu jitsu but I feel that is not working, do you have any solution that you can give me?
Informative/ practical- thanks!!!! I will keep those tips in mind.
nice tips. it is bit difficult to balance rolling with women especially newer white belts. don't want to go super duper light but at same time i can not lay all my weight nor normal strength. want to make it flowy a bit but don't want to accidentally break something
It's definitely a balance! It'll come with time :)
Forearm to the throat should be easy to defend, so if that’s a problem then it should be encouraged.
In this world there is only one Brad. This Brad. Our Brad. Forever Brad.
Last class, I rolled for the first time with a woman (I'm in my 5 class, meaning, I just a baby on BJJ), she is 56y, and Jesus Christ the lady was strong! Besides that she is a 3rd degree blue belt!
I learned a lot rolling with her!
However..... I'm a 28y guy, 230lbs, that traines for a long time (gym and CrossFit)
Of course! I wouldn't use my entire strength on her, that wouldn't be safe! And the best part is that not using my entire strength forced me to use every single brain cell to discover how to control her without just pushing her to ceiling
But like you said, I didn't went super light on her
I matched her strength!
And about the comments during the roll, she was the one doing that... But she was teaching me a lot, and I don't mind, so that was great
Beside that, she was goddammit funny kkkk
I watched your videos before, I believe it helped kk
PS.: She was quite impressed, probably it was an while she didn't see a calm white belt kkk, so thanks for the tips
Haha i love this comment, this is all great stuff!!
Some dudes are drenched in sweat if the temp is above 68 and there's any humidity. Not alot of fun being stuck under them.
Lol I get just as sweaty. 🙋🏼♀️ especially in no gi, my gym turns into a slip n slide. But yeah, it’s all gross.
Makes you remember head position to not be submitted by smothering.
Finally, a video on how to roll with women that was made by a woman 😅
:D
I think it's quite simple: If you're a guy rolling with a girl (or a guy who smaller or weaker than you), you should follow this rule set - Don't smash, don't crush, don't rag doll, but don't LET them win.
Perfectly stated :)
The problem is that
1) get on top
2) smesh
is all the jiu jitsu I know.
good content im a purple belt 260lb. when i role with new women or new white belts i do just enough to not lose the round and then submit them at least once, or twice/ i say excuse me when i accidently touch a boob. i believe their is no reason to stalemate a training partner, let them work their escape or pass. that is my rant for today.
No reason to apologize. I listened because I wanted the feedback
I’m new to jiu jitsu (2 months) so basically have very little technical ability and there’s a championship winning black belt woman in my group. She’s obviously technically amazing but I practically weigh twice as much as her…I’ve managed to avoid rolling with her so far but I know it’s only a matter of time so what’s the best way to approach that!? TYIA 🙏
I would try to get my hands on her asap! But I completely understand being so new and it's very intimidating. I would sort of assess her demeanor. Is she super friendly and do you see here rolling with all belt levels? At the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to just ask :)
@@kimberlykinch yeah she’s super friendly and has great energy so I’ll just ask her straight up I guess. Thanks very much for the reply. Osss 🙏
This video should be required viewing for everyone in Brazilian jujitsu I image.
😅 im much seasoned as a 4 stripe white belt.
I take on quite a few females at my dojo, i usually don't reject nor get angry at anyone when we practice technique and spar.
Despite the fact im one of 4 ppl whom are the tallest, im more concerned i don't get submitted in less than 5 seconds XD
You're a natural at this vlogging thing
Why thank you!
Ok... Wow! This was a good video. But there's a bunch of stuff that I disagree with--but that's probably because it's a gender and personality clash. I'm a guy, and I love talking during my rolls (mainly getting feedback from the higher belts). Also, if I curse, I aint cursing at my partner but at my own incompetence. But women....oh women.... they do take it personally or get upset. Note to self: don't cuss when rolling with women. Also, I think we need to communicate before the roll if we should talk during it or only after it.
Brad is my bestfriend, he introduced me to BJJ! Brad is the real MVP! Hes an awsome guy without him i wouldnt know the awsome art of BJJ
Brad seems like a popular guy!
I just started BJJ. My wife and I are Christian, and she doesn't want me rolling with women. It never even crossed my mind that would be inappropriate. Have you ever had a guy refuse to roll with you because of religious reasons? Not sure if it's rude to refuse to roll with women, or how I should say it.
Fellow Christian here, hi :)
And I have! A man who is Jewish and a few Muslim men have kindly refused to roll, and also shake hands at the end of class. I don't find it offensive - it is nice though when they let me know why they won't shake my hand or roll. I would just let them know that because of religious reasons, you choose to only roll with men.
@@kimberlykinch Thank you!
Jakob wrestled with God in the bible, so same sex wrestling at least should be ok.
@@kimberlykinch
I KINDLY refuse to be made impure by your spiritually corrupting presence.
i'm the smallest guy in my gym, and i'm a blue belt, so the ladies tend to partner with me because they know i won't crush them, and i have control over what our bodies are doing. if they're white belts, i like to get them in bad positions, and treat it like active drilling, so they can learn how to escape.
Sounds pretty perfect !
It's good advice, but I can't understand why guys can't get this without help. I'm 6'4" 220 lbs and I've never had an issue getting that I'm bigger and heavier and rolling appropriately. I like rolling with woman as it's an all skill roll with no power involved.
GREAT VIDEO!
This martial art needs to start in middle school. Every child must attend. This would be a great way for the school to come together and establish a hierarchy and closeness with people.
Agreed.
what about guys like me who talk to themselves during a roll? I'm always muttering to myself. sometimes I curse at myself. The rest I get it. We don't roll as much in judo but this all applies here as well.
I mean, I guess do whatever makes you get through the roll lol 🤷🏼♀️ I personally don’t like when any one curses during a roll, I just don’t think it’s necessary. But that’s just my opinion 😬
and this does changed depending whom I'm rolling with.
Hey girly I’m the only female in my class, any tips?:(
Aw I know it can be uncomfortable sometimes, but keep showing up! Some of my favorite training partners are guys. I'd recommend rolling with as many upper belts as you can because they will be the safest!
hello Kimberly, I know this may sound stupid but, i have watched a lot of "you tube" i know that men have strength, women have flexibility and better legs. 95% percent of the competition I watch that are mixed, the female winds up smashing the guy? do you believe that women are that much better then men or is it about 50/50?
Women don't have "better legs". I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean.
@@MrCmon113 from what I have seen woman seem more equipped at using their legs than men and they do seem more flexible
girls are always so much better technically
I think it's especially hard as a relatively new white belt rolling with any girl who has some color on their belt. Also as a smaller guy, I'm typically not much heavier than the girls I roll with if at all. It would be easier if I was big and strong and skilled, if the girl never posed any threat to me, I could basically let them work through everything, create like a sandbox for them to play in.
Because I'm neither big nor skilled. If I go too easy on a girl with color on her belt, I can get tapped out with basically anything because she knows far more techniques and it's also not interesting for her because she's facing too little resistance. As a small guy I'm used to basically just hanging on vs much bigger guys, so while I don't have much skill in technique I'm very good at holding on for dear life to not get smashed. Against a girl, I still have no technique, but if I just hang on for dear life then it's not necessarily easy to shake me. And I only have a competent grasp on like 2-3 submissions, so a girl with color on her belt will know how to defend against those and it just becomes very boring since I'm just trying the same two submissions and she's just defending against them.
I've tried to solve this a couple ways. Starting in bad positions or giving up bad positions can work. But the moment I escape a bad position, things stalemate again, so I just try to reset into a bad position. Giving some inches of space here and there also sometimes works but depending on the position, giving space just creates more scrambles, which are fun but also really tiring for both parties.
Can you defeat a stronger and heavier guy if you have more skill than him considering he goes all out?
Yes you can. Professor abby can defeat me easily. Strength does help. But Jiu-Jitsu is about techniques and leverage. Abby is a black belt. I just a white belt.
Depends on how much stronger.
If you're 80kg and the guy is 140kg mostly muscle, then no.
If you're 80kg and he's 90kg, then yes.
@@joseichoshow9846
In your case it's possible because of the ENORMOUS gap between you (black Vs white belt). But size, weight and strenght are decisely a great factor when the gap of skill is not so huge.
Liked your points, was hoping to hear a little about the sexual discomfort that could arise rolling.
Sexual discomfort should not happen. End of. would you feel sexual discomfort when rolling with a dude? no. The idea that you would experience sexual discomfort when rolling with a woman suggests that you cant see past the body parts she has, to the strong jiu jitsu practitioner she really is. If you're feeling sexual discomfort, she will know, so sort it out before you start rolling with women. When this has happened to me, it has made me feel entirely disrespected personally, as a training partner, and as a woman. My reason for being on those mats is to learn to defend myself in a safe environment against people who see my body as a sexual object. If the men I train with see my body in the same way, then they have invaded my safe space. I will not roll with you, and I'll probably warn the other girls not to as well.
@@larajones1681
Disconfort can absolutely HAPPEN to everyone.
Everybody can feel unconfortable for any reason. Also for sexual discomfort. When I was a new brand beginner once I had to stop rolling with a girl who I found very attractive, because I had a boner and I felt very embarrassed, even though she didn't even noticed it. Since then I never trained with a woman again so as not to face the same situation any more.
We are not made all in the same way, you are not me and I'm not you. And BJJ is not like playing tennis. It's high contact sport.
With a guy this never happened simply because I'm straight and then I don't feel any kind of a sexual impulse towards a man.
So you can't compare two totally different situations.
There were cases where also women felt very uncomfortable to play with a man. Each to their own.
@@larajones1681 he (I’m assuming he) asked an honest question and you’re attacking him
@@larajones1681
There is absolutely no way you can know whether someone is feeling "sexual discomfort".
Personally, the moment I slap and bump my brain goes from smash mode to smesh mode. But if you somehow stay horny through a roll, that's not something you should be blamed for.
@EldocSabote If you are speaking of the sexual discomfort from a male point of view, maybe speak with a male older than you as to how they deal with this situation when working with a female partner. As a woman, I can say that you are on the right path to becoming a respectful person towards women. I had a training partner (in a martial art unlike this one) who was autistic and he couldn't help his natural reaction to training with me, but recognized he would be unable to train with me without it happening. So we did not train together. And it was fine. I took no offense because he was respectful to me. But as a guy you are definitely capable of controlling your thoughts and your body. And martial arts forces you to be in survival mode for the most part; I'd think someone trying to attack you would trigger your fight or flight feelings the most. If you are speaking of female sexual discomfort, as in not feeling safe rolling with a male, you can simply ask your female training partner if she's uncomfortable with certain positions (some women might have been assaulted before and feel scared to train with a man). As a woman, we do want to feel safe with our training partners and have trust, and we do need certain positions to help us figure out what to do if we are attacked in those positions. If the woman is fine with certain positions, by all means train with respect. You are helping her learn to defend herself, and you are helping yourself figure out how to control your reaction on the mat. In any physical sport, mutual respect is the utmost important skill you can have. I hope this helps give some insight to the woman's point of view on this matter.
Excellent tips! Thank you. Question for you, how do you feel about hand placement while rolling? For example is it inappropriate to reach inside the top of the pants for a grip or to grip close to a woman’s breasts? I hope this question doesn’t come across creepy, I just avoid such grips and I’m wondering if it matters?
It doesn't matter to me personally, but it might be different for someone else. My coach teaches a lot of positions where you grab the top of the pants, so for me it's normal. I guess the best piece of advice I can give you, is if you go for grips like that, make sure it's with a purpose :)
As a woman, thank you.
:)
I just started jiu jitsu and I've got a lot of bruises on my chest already, doesn't that happen with your breasts? Do you think there are techniques we should just avoid when rolling with women?
A beautiful Kodiak bear loves me.
Tips for guys rolling with women:
Politely say: "Thanks but I don't feel comfortable rolling with girls. I hope you don't mind."
And that's it.... as simple as that...
I guess 🤷🏼♀️
Honestly, that didn't feel like specific advice for man rolling with women but just general advice for when rolling.
okay :D
11 o'clock in the morning? the morning?
I don't know, very little of this sounded like advice for rolling with women, it just sounded like good advice for rolling period.
Thanks
I think, mostly just dont be an a-hole on the mat and respect each other. :)
Agreed :D
I get that you don't want to hear comments during your roll, however are you telling me that if you have a new male white belt and you are dominating him, you can't do something during the roll. you stated earlier that we should always want people to come back and train, do you think a new jiu jitsu wants to hear "you just need to get better" even if you are just thinking it? people don't want to train and be dominated! it is not okay for a man to sit there and man handle a female, but it is ok for the opposite? why?
You have a million statements in this one comment, so this is confusing. But.. when in this video did I say it was okay for a female to sit there and dominate a man (I'm assuming you mean by just sitting in side control, mount, etc.) ? Man or woman, no matter what weight you are, I think if someone you're rolling with is brand new, I don't think it's constructive ever really to just sit on top of someone for a long period of time.
@@kimberlykinch I get that men need to think about how much they roll with women, but someone dominating their partner could be discouraging. And let me ask you a question, men need to do more to help rolling to be affective and beneficial, do you think there is anything females can do especially those with more experience and higher belts. I am just starting and it would be frustrating to be dominated
Thank you for writing bach
@@stevefrazier3381 this video was talking about a particular circumstance that someone asked about, so that’s why I’m only talking about how men should roll with women. Obviously both men and women should work on being good training partners for one another.
If you’re just beginning, try to get some rolls in with upper belts. They’ll give you good rolls based on skill. But remember, it’s jiu jitsu, so you’re gonna get your butt kicked no matter what.
A bit of cursing?! Really?! I do it all the time myself...
I just don’t think it’s necessary when rolling, to each their own 🤷🏼♀️
Your telling the truth sir. It is overly picky.
@@kennethcarroll8532 thanks my lady
Haha non of this applies to me. Everytime I spar with females where I train I get destroyed 😆
🤣🤣🤣
@@kimberlykinch my last roll was with Vennesa English I outweigh her by 7 or 8 stone and I must have tapped the same numbers at least 😅
Guy goes chest to chest ultra pressure in side 😂
Love that
@@kimberlykinchyou wouldn’t believe it but I just got injured by someone doing exactly that
I’m a tad late in the comment section but *I am a feminist and believe in equality* I roll with a female white belt the same way as a male brown belt. I smash! They signed the waiver! Oss
Let's not forget that women are on a spectrum just like men are, so it is not always a given that the man will be stronger than the woman. I have experienced this myself with skinny dudes who probably never lifted a weight in their life. On AVERAGE, a man is stronger than a woman, but sometimes that's not true.
Leave your male ego at the door.
This. Nothing disappoints me more than when the new guy gets beat by me and never comes back. I almost always go easy on the new guy. Like I'll slide into mount and not go for a sub. I'll just sit there and let them figure out how to escape or I'll teach them how to escape. But sometimes I think the guy doesn't come back because he still "lost" to a female in his mind because he couldn't get me off of him, or I took him down with a sneaky takedown he never knew was even possible, or I got his back and got my hands into position for a RNC, but didn't actually choke, just let him feel that I was there and had it, and maybe that was too much for him. Makes me sad if they quit because of that. But if the new guy is trying to slaughter me, well then I don't go easy and don't feel bad if I win.
@@bethbennett2106 well said Beth
Your "ego" is why you train in the first place. And if you think you can do sth like leaving it at the door, you are fully captured by grandiose stories about your own humility, which are completely fictional.
@@bethbennett2106 Tell me something Beth. How much experience did you have at that time when it happened and how big was the new guy or your weight? Because i have a hard time believing women "beating" full grown relatively strong men if they went 100 percent. I'm a beginner myself, exclusively train in nogi (don't like gi nor see any major point with it), even squared up against a woman in my second class rolling (still at my second class) with 3-4 years of experience and she trains there regularly, at the very least 3 times a week, i haven't been to class since last week due to schedule and life. Anyway, when i rolled with her (and she was quite weird, but that's another story), i never felt in any danger at all, even used 50 percent of my strength which is more than i intended against her due to being a beginner and not knowing how to move properly or any technique, even got her in kimura. I mean sure she tried an armbar from closed guard but i easily took my arm of her grip, she even tried arm triangle from half guard, still not enough pressure, she never got in major dominant positions like taking my back, having mount etc. Are you sure that guy quit because you beat him? Or maybe it's because he didn't like the sport nor it's awkward intimate close contact, especially with the opposing gender etc? I'm not trying to discredit women in the sport at all and their capabilities grappling, i'm just telling you from my own personal experience. Maybe i'm wrong? Even the experienced guys in that gym (everyone except my cousin who trained 10 years in nogi and is very big and strong) have to work to submit me, even those in my weight class (185 lbs) i even escaped some of the tight arm triangle and anaconda holds, therefore seeing a woman pulling it off very hard, let alone me with little bit of experience. There's no ego here, just reality check from my recollection.
I am a white belt but I am very advanced for my rank. A new guy kept talking while doing the technique, he gave me instructions lol and I just said shut up and do the technique. Easy as that. I don't talk when I roll. I dont show emotions when I roll. If someone hit me unintentionally I just keep rolling. I hate talkers and pussys.
I go easy with women, I just focus on doing the technique and not using strenght
Ladies. Expect to give and receive taps. The end.
I try to avoid rolling with females, at least at my stage (beginner). The main reason is I don’t want to get feelings for someone I have to train with. I also don’t like seeing women’s behinds and beautiful hips in tight spandex during no-gi. I do my best to avoid looking but it’s annoying.
Those are my feelings. I fully support women training
yeah no thank you ...
Tips when rolling with guys
1. Be mindful of our balls
2. Dont go 100% when we’re going 30%
3. Most of us are socially awkward af, please forgive our “Scaring The Hoes” type vibe we’re giving off as we’re uncomfortable around u
4. Remember we’re letting u work; u might get some subs on us (cuz we let u)
5. Remember, ur here to also defend urself. In a real fight against a male adversary there’s no stop using strength or lets start on the ground
Ideally, everyone should roll/talk w everyone. Unfortunately we’re still in this taboo period where A LOT of ppl dont roll nor talk to the opposite sex
I been training at my bjj gym for 2 years, there’s females there tht i have literally never spoken to
I have a better advice for guys about 'rolling with women' - don't.
Just don’t roll with chicks, problem solved
If you dislike women in jiu jitsu so much then why keep watching these videos? Kindly go away 💕
@@kimberlykinch
Me suggesting another solution to the problems of gender differences in grappling does not mean I don’t like chicks grappling. A reasonable solution to women’s issues with grappling is to just not roll with women.
You are the guy we all hate
@@wmhs02dm i legit just lol’d.
@@wmhs02dm
Right, some very high level grappling coaches don’t roll with women. Fairs who is GSP grappling coach doesn’t roll with women. A guy choosing not to roll with women isn’t a negative, it solves a lot of problems.
09:23 = facts! Mfrs think they’re John Danaher