I’m a man and I totally am siding with the woman on this matter. She was very up front about her wants. And truthfully, her desires were in line with his initial expressed thoughts. Presuming this was an actual conversation, even if she was a gold digger, which does NOT seem to be the case, she communicated her desires…take it or leave it. Absolutely zero need to go in on her like that…
Exactly! And she was very level-headed despite him freaking out like that. He really seems like a total gaslighter and it's good she's not with him... I don't know who they are in person, because I don't know what they look like. You have to remember that Angel from the club, lol, can also just be telling him what he wants to hear. We just don't have all the facts, but on face value, bullet dodged for her, hehe.
@@MariusOberholster Heh, he probably just suffers from paranoia (and I'm sure it'd been stoked by disreputable sources). I don't believe he was attempting to gaslight (his intentions were the opposite of gaslighting).
@@occamsrazor1285 The gaslighting is him telling her she tried to embarrass him at the restaurant if it were actually him making a scene (just like in the texts) and calling her a gold digger when she describes what she wants when it actually fits what he wants. In other words, it'll also be her fault if he cheats on her or hits her down the line.
Some men out here wanting a trad wife but don’t understand that requires a trad partner. If you want a homemaker and a stay at home parent, you’ve got to provide the income, period. I am not meant to be a homemaker, and that’s ok with me and my husband. We met when I was just starting out my education for my career. I’m now bringing double his income, and we have a comfortable life as a result that we wouldn’t have if I was a homemaker. So we balance the home life together, as partners!
So many men out there say that they want a traditional wife that will stay home and take care of the home and kids but they don't want to take on the financial responsibility that it takes to do that .
It’s really interesting. My mother pointed out o me recently there is a large subset of men who basically act like overgrown toddlers and I don’t mean not picking up after themselves. I mean living rent free in what is usually a GIRLFRIENDS home, getting his shit paid for, and proceed to be completely ungreatfulcand somehow continue to think he’s the “man” of the house when “his” woman is taking up both damn roles of the house. And then these women do shit like donate a damn kidney to a man wasting air like that! No self worth for those women and no drive in those men to do shit all in life. We were eating out and she pointed out this black couple- the woman was beautiful and put together and the man was in oversized tees and jeans under his ass. He was this nasty social recluse in a bad mood and refused to talk to the waiter and of course; she paid without even asking who would. You could 100% tell who the bread winner was. He left his side of the table messy asf too. Idk what these women see in these men besides the insecurity inflicted upon them by them enough to think they can’t do better or have any standards for the people around them particularly men. The coddling of the masculine sex has ruined it imo. They want to be taken care of like their girlfriend is their mother and many of them seem to revert to child mentality like that the second things get serious even when they were independent. I mean I have a friend who has been living with a guy for 5 years and she’s the only one who’s ever once had a job lol and he’s claimed he’s “tried”. It’s such bs. Tbh at this point…. Not really sure how our social norms will course correct…
@@Birchlead I will definitely never understand why any woman would want to be with man that acts like that. My father was a very hard working man. When he wasn't at work he was at home with his family helping my mom take care of things at home and me and my siblings. My husband is the same way. Doe many years before he became disabled due to health reasons he not only worked hard at his job but also helped me with things at home as well. He can no longer work outside the home so that falls on me now and has for a few years now. I don't mind it because I still have the support from him that I need
That's the problem. These men dont understand what it means to have a traditional woman and life. My husband comes from a culture where women stay at home. His mom was a Bank Manager and he still understands what it means for the woman to stay at home. He always offers me to do just that although I always reject it.
What’s funniest you can say the exact same about women. Women always say they want to traditional man but don’t wanna be traditional themselves. When I was in college, girls are passed around like chocolate and what’s funny is that these woman thought it was empowering but in reality it was destroying their mental health and they were just being used.
If she's at home. Where she will get the money? Looking after kids is hard. Most men can't do it. My husband can only look after them for maybe 4 hours. If I'm sick he can manage but he's like can't do it everyday 😂
@@jennyj0007Whenever my husband works from home he's extra happy to go to work the next day lol. He couldn't do what I do, and I can't do what he does, and that's why we're perfect together.
I'm so lucky that my husband works long hours so I can stay home with my 4 month old and he's so great and helps out when he gets home. But when telling others that. They look at me like I'm lazy af and give him praise and pity him for having to work so much
Damn Amala! Back at it again with the logic! I agree with you and the women in the text messages logic. I am a house wife and my husband provides the income. I provide the clean home, and clean meals. We BOTH provide the love that balances one another when times get hard.
I used to want a nose & boob job back in high school, even had a “boob jar” that I would throw extra cash & change into as kind of a joke. When I meet my husband at 19 & he heard my plans he would always tell me not to do it. He’d always say that my face was perfect & that my boobs were just the right handful 😂 (after we got together of course) 14yrs, one great marriage & an amazing son later, he’s still my biggest fan. I’m 33 now, and never did get that work done 💚
For the story on trad wife, I'm curious how she tried to embarrass him at the restaurant. Either way. She dodged a bullet, for sure. As a trad wife myself... We have two kids! It's a lot of work and we're not rich, but we're making it work. Our home is full of love. That's what we're rich in.
She later clarified it was because he ordered her food for her and she ended up being allergic to it and had to tell the waiter she could not eat it. She paid for them too. 💀
@@ButterflyyyxoxoI was already convinced the conversation was fake and this addition just pretty much confirmed it was. I refuse to believe that actually happened.
@@KoishiChan92 it’s possible she was trying to be polite and NOT embarrass the guy as he ordered, so she privately told the waiter she couldn’t have whatever it was 🤷🏻♀️ a guy like this clearly sounds like he would take things the wrong way
I was going to say it was probably something dumb like the guy tried to order for her and she wanted to order for herself instead, but seeing the able comment of what actually happened it’s even more stupid
I’m the trad wife minus the gorgeous grooming time and lifestyle. I’m nursing a toddler ( yep he still nurses), cleaning up messes, cooking all the meals (I serve my husband as he would serve me if it was visa versa) cleaning house, running the errands and homeschooling my oldest. One day I’ll be able to add time for personal care/self care but for now hubby slaves to the job and I slave to the home. We’ll make it through, I promise.
Same minus the nursing. Be sure to take care of yourself and take breaks as they become available, but I figure when kids are grown, there will be plenty of time for being fancy. Right now, I gotta make sure to schedule showers around naps, so a manicure isn't happening! 😂
I’m currently nursing my 2 year old as well. I’m gonna stick my neck out here and insert my opinion that extended breastfeeding is traditional. Completely on par with being a trad wife. We aren’t always picture perfect, I know I certainly am not; but I’m 100 a trad wife.
@JenELeeP1 I'm sorry you're going through that. People can be so rude, often without meaning to... a decade ago, hubby and I were dinks... now im a trad wife minus the barbie look (I actually have some health issues that make it nearly impossible to get a job in the feids i trained in so im working on my health but its exhausing explaining that to others when they ask the usual boring questions to fill in the silence. I'm always getting questions about what I do. Even when I worked, I hated it. It was like, why do i have to think of work when im not there? So I now ask people what they do for fun and think of other little questions before i attend events, to change the flow of conversation. Sometimes they still won't be sidetracked but other times people they realise it's an overstep.
Honestly this boy needs to grow up. I never expected my wife to work. Those were her choice. Being a man that takes care of a wife and children financially is the mans position in the marriage.
Eh nah it’s not like that anymore. Couples can decide what works for them. You can do 50/50 or the man can provide everything financially or some combo of in between.
She def dodged a big bullet. I am a homemaker. I dont need a huge house and my husband takes care of us financially. I make sure he has a clean house, clean clothes, good food, etc. These guys need to stop thinking that all women are 304 golddiggers.
It's a sad world. Women read the bad things a minority of men do and assumed all men are terrible. Can't say the same about men. The things men are complaining about now are not new. These are things men have always complained about yet chose to tough it out. Nowadays it's not worth toughing it out when society and law is against us. I won't power through something that won't bear any good results for me or my environment. Men are getting smarter.
The guy is delusional. She isn't a gold digger. She is a trad wife. And more power to her. It isn't like she is going to be sitting around all day doing nothing.
What Amala was describing about how this guy seems to expect his partner to do everything including working, taking care of the house and raising children was literally my family growing up. Mum switched between working full time and part time for years on end, did all the household work, ran errands and raised my brother and I. My Mum could’ve stopped working but our family wouldn’t have been able to sustain ourselves with only my Dad’s income alone. It wasn’t an equal partnership but then again both my parents were doing so much to maintain the lifestyle we had. Nowadays my Mum suffers from Mum guilt because she feels she wasn’t there enough for my brother and I growing up, which she was but that’s not how she feels about it. A partnership should be equal in the sense that the amount of responsibilities you take on it equal or close to your partner. If this guy expects the woman he wants to be with to do everything, he is in for a rude awakening as it is never going to end well.
We get burnt out. I get depressed if i can't leave the house. It can be overwhelming especially if you have a difficult child always fighting drains you physically n mentally. Yeah, once in a while, i want a fucking spa day without the kids ruining my day!
@@jennyj0007and so you deserve. Even if your a home maker. Or trad wives or call it whatever. You’re not a slave. You deserve to take a wine night with friends. Spa day alone.’ Shopping time without kids. Your not a slave. Same as women who are mothers and have careers. Deserve their own time. Basically any parent mother or father deserve alone time. But I think it must be harder to get alone time as a stay at home mom to get her alone time than other parents. And that sucks man. Everyone is their own person and not just a parent. Your doing an important job and hope you take time for yourself girlie
That woman in the beginning is describing my marriage, and it’s not golddigging to say “provide for our household and/or family while I take care of everything else…. money management, keeping up a house, raising children, handling the logistics of life!”. I still work here and there thus bring in some income, but that covers most travel expenses and fun family stuff, not bills. Keeping up a house, yard, raising children (well), hosting family events and holidays, etc. is a full time job! That dude is a major D BAG and I can’t believe he had the balls to booty call, especially a woman who wants to be a trad wife, like no way!
You sound amazing, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, but is it possible you're generalizing from your own experience? Unlike you, the woman in the beginning not only expects not to work, but also ("no stress") doesn't seem to want to sweat the homefront either. It's also quite possible that the traditional man expected to handle the yardwork and finances. My grandmother did as much as my grandfather or more. She worked at a dress factory, had six kids, and far fewer conveniences than today - probably the most important context for this conversation. Whether individuals choose "trad" or not, life in 2023 is set up for the convenience of working singles or DINK couples, and therefore eliminates or automates most of what Nana had to do by hand (or the errands she had to run without a car). It hasn't resulted in any comparable reduction in work outside the home, but has in fact added a lot of "necessities" for modern breadwinners to buy that didn't exist back then. It's still possible to CHOOSE to make motherhood a full-time job, but the simple fact is that most (likely including the woman in the video) don't. Once my sister and I stopped being helpless little kids, most of my mother's "job" took place in front of the soap operas; today it's social media. Given all the above, the most frustrating part is that society seems to almost unanimously condemn any man who has the audacity to come home from 8-16+ hours work with any intention other than doing "his share" of the housework.
@@Justice-ian Thank you, and of course that’s possible; we can all only speak from our own experiences while listening as best we can to others’. I learned how to be a wife from Nana and how to work hard from mum, so I think I got a good dose of both which I why I prefer to do the renovations, yard work, fencing, etc. projects (bc I’m good at that and my husband is a motorhead and keeps us safely on the road in some bitchin cars) it’s a fair division of labour at home. I don’t use all modern conveniences except a shark vac a rarely use, haha, but I see your point on “less to do in 2023” so idk what that would look like to stay home with all conveniences. I know laundry still doesn’t fold itself and dust doesn’t dust itself, and it didn’t sound like this woman in particular was asking for anything extravagant 🤷🏻♀️
“provide for our household and/or family while I take care of everything else…. money management..." hehe. You bring in the money, I'll manage the spending.
Heres the thing with the "youre not healthy enough" guy: 1. Shes not even fat and is obv physically active which means they can do physical activities together like hiking. Ik it's a sexual attraction thing, but invite her to work out or do things with you. You know. Bonding. 2. Whats going to happen if they get married and have kids? Most women don't/can't go back to pre pregnancy body after having a child. Your bones literally move. Is he going to leave her for having loose stomach skin and stretch marks and abdominal muscle issues? What if she gets ill and gains a bunch of weight being bed bound or unable to participate in anything more than some walking? If he has to care for her long term is he going to starve her to keep her skinny? Beauty is temporary and idk how grown boys still dont know that
As a man, in a trad relationship I think that catering to your husband and basically making sure that he is happy so he can provide for you and make you happier as well is part of being a trad wife. It depends on the husband what he really asks for, for me that includes looking good for me (to the best of her abilities). So I expect her to exercise, have a healthy diet, take care of her skin and take measures to prevent stretch marks etc. I don't think it's such an unrealistic or weird thing to ask. Obviously she won't be always as pretty as she was, aging is a thing, and that's ok, and of course if she gets sick or depressed or anything else and gets fat because of it it doesn't mean divorce lol, but I expect this to be temporary, just like if I have a trouble with my income, I'll do my best to get back to making as much money I made before as soon as possible and possibly increase that income with time
Yeah the whole thing was weird. He was way overdramatic about it which made it worse for the girl. He could have just said that he values physical fitness more than her and left it at that. But he went on and on and on. Sounds like she may have dodged a bullet.
Sounds like my ex husband LOL wanted me to have the kids, clean everything spotless (with a 1 y/o), cook all the meals AND hated the fact I wasn’t contributing financially. At first I thought she sounded too focused on the money but how he replied is just nuts. It’s a typical response from a lot of guys.
I think in the beginning she used a term which is typical of what you would expect from a goldigger - but in the context of the larger conversation she was obviously just looking to be a supported trad wife.
Hold up here. If a man worked half time and woman didn't work, they're both dead of starvation. If he's earning average, and he's working FULL TIME, they are almost starving on that one salary anyway. He'd have to work two jobs and just work and sleep. I understand that if the guy wanted a "traditional woman" its perfectly reasonable to expect him to be a "traditional man" which maybe he wasn't up for - its true you can't have it both ways. If all he does is provide, than all she does is take care of kids and household. If he wanted both of them to work, than they also both should share the chores and caring for kids. Expecting her to both care for the kids and house AND provide half the income is unreasonable. But hey, if he couldn't afford to provide for the whole family working regular hours (which I perfectly understand in this economy etc.) and wanted to also live a little aside from work - then both of them off to work it is.
@@metalmarten3478 I think you misunderstood my comment. We are saying the same thing. He wants to work without any responsibilities at home but expect her to work, do all the cleaning, cooking and take care of the children. That’s not reasonable. If I have to work then I expect my husband to also share responsibilities at home. If a man want to have a traditional wife then he needs to earn a decent salary and make good financial decisions to afford a family.
@@metalmarten3478 But by your logic, if the guy worked part time, then the woman picking up the slack would have to work full time *plus* have an additional part time job. Plus take care of the children, cook and clean. That's what the OP is talking about; many guys expect the woman to put more effort into the financial/household aspects of the relationship than they would.
@@rustinstardust2094 yeah you didn't read the whole post did ya. No, all I said was they'd be dead if he worked part time. Because og statement was "men want to work part time" more like double time, if they're the only ones providing income.
Housewife is a job… lol anyone that’s says otherwise is delusional. -general housekeeping -meal prep and cooking (already a job by itself lol) -finance officer -daycare (a job on its own lmao) -let me know if I missed something 😂
It is work, a lot of work and some of the most important work in the world. But many won't classify it as a "job" as it provides no financial income, actually quite the opposite as it take money to cook, upkeep a house, transport kids around, etc.
Men take out the trash, mow the lawn, Generally work more labor intensive jobs, fix things in the home, some husbands build things for their wives and there should be some things that I’m missing. But needless to say I think the roles are evenly distributed. The alternative is being a single mom with a lot more on your shoulders or never being a mom at all. In this economy and household needs 2 incomes so to assume that you won’t have to work is crazy to me lol. She does clearly want a man who makes enough money to support her and her their kids😊 and she should definitely go find that. Dude was kinda aggressive with her for no reason though lol
- Emotional support ( aka therapist) - Event manager (it's usually the wife's job to organize social gatherings) - Paramedic / nurse for sick and / or injured children.
I am in a child-free marriage. I never wanted kids, not for any particular reason, I never had that gravitational pull to do so. Some people are not meant to be parents and that's fine, Amala telling you otherwise is exactly the same thing as people telling you not to have kids, two sides of the same coin. No one makes that decision for you.
Same here. It's amazing the amount of hate you receive when telling other people you don't want to have children.. but I believe that it's better for people who know they don't want children to.. not have children. Otherwise, both the children and the parents would be miserable and it'd not be a healthy situation.
Ya as a mom myself I tell people all the time Not to have kids and if you do make sure you are fully ready because it’s a lot of trauma if you’re Not. Of course I love my kids but a lot of parents will tell you after their experience that having kids wasn’t the best decision at the time. And of course you get to deal with your body completely changing and dealing with that depression for the rest of your life unless you get plastic surgery. I’m not being negative I’m just speaking the truth as a woman who has both of her children by the time I was 24. If you want kids great, but it’s Not that serious is my opinion. And it’s very strange to act like it is wrong to Not want kids. Not to mention the fact that most people who have kids together do NOT stay to together in the long run. But these people will figure that out soon enough on their own once they have kids
I had a man say - I don’t like all that makeup you wear (black eyeliner since 1994) and he took me to Lancôme and had them do my makeup and said “that’s better”. I had foundation and concealer and bronzer highlighter blush , liner, lipstick, shadow - I was covered and uncomfortable. After one week I ended up sticking with the thin black line from 1994 and found a new man that likes it or nothing.
The second guy, it’s fine to just be kind and say she doesn’t have the physique he is looking for. But to say if she works out hard and loses weight then she can talk to him again is beyond lol. Hell no.
Dear men without the gold who get angry at women for being "gold diggers" Please understand that in relationships where the woman is there for the money, the men fully know that, and are fine with it as it is literally a business transaction between the pair. The woman is expected to behave a certain way, in return she is taken care of and gets a huge allowance. Both parties are fully well aware of their agreement. And so long as both agree to their terms, then it's fine and no one else's business. So the women out there that are after high salary earners are also not going to be interested in you if you aren't. They don't owe it to you to be interested either. Just move on and find someone who has the same moral integrity as you. No need to be offended that you can't offer what someone is looking for in a partner. Also, that woman in the text exchange was in no way shape or form a gold digger.
I think we need to accept and respect that some people naturally want families and kids and others don't... we shouldnt shame either way or think because I think this way then surely the others will regret thinking otherwise after some time...some people dont want romantic relationships, marriage or kids... and thats ok we all should do what makes us happy as long as it doesnt hurt other people
Totally agree, but you shouldn’t start dating whilst saying you want one thing, then drag someone (who also wants the same thing) when it’s thoroughly laid out for them 😂
I'm a SAHM of 2. It is a lot of work. I cook, clean, meal plan, and keep up minor house maintenances (we oay for bigger up keep) along of raising 2 kids. My oldest is in elementary school and I do a lot of one-on-one work with him after school to make sure he's on grade point. It is a lot and I couldn't imagine working on top of this. I'm blesssd this is my life and that we can financially afford this life.
So true! makes me think of those obnoxious women on facebook who say they are a full time stay at home mom while also a full time work from home career woman who does all the house work and it is so easy and she doesn't see the problem. Almost no one can take care of babies and young children while working and cleaning and cooking and actually be good at their job and attentive as a mom. Maybe there are some unicorns but in general that burns people out crazy fast. people are so full of shit sometimes
OMG Almala your face is gorgeous!!!! Don’t change a thing!!!! The only thing I changed is to have a face lift when I was 48 and one at 58 just to pull up the sagging skin, not to change my bone structure. Never wanted fillers or Botox as this is unnatural. Having a top of the line surgeon lift your face is undetectable but helps with a woman’s self esteem when their skin sags.
Ok. The guy may be honest about the girls weight but he is not husband material. I have gained weight with pregnancy and my husband doesn't suddenly find me unattractive. This guy is a nice jerk. Also, if I found someone unattractive, I don't tell them that's why I won't go out with him or break up with him because someone else may find him attractive. I'm not a jerk. It's ok to not be perfectly blunt
Lol, I also agree that it's funny when guys talk about natural beauty like they're so superior. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, like Amala said. It sounds so much like "not like other guys/girls". I also agree that makeup is not in the same wheelhouse as surgery or injections. Saying "please don't cut up and reshape your face" is not an insecurity.
We need him to be not there sometimes to see how much his wholesome takes enrich the show. He's a really cool, chill, reasonable, sane guy. Same for you Amala, you both bring some sanity into the insane world.
I’m a registered nurse, currently expecting our fourth child. Our oldest is 6.5 and I didn’t even last a year of full time work after returning from that mat leave. It was clear to my husband and I that I wanted to be the person that met our child’s need. I’ve never regretted going casual. Sure I lost benefits but I’m the master of my schedule and there’s no shortage of hours. I typically work wknds or nights. I feel great having my career but reassured I’m not the primary earner for our family as my priority is the home.😊
I think to a certain extent, all women who choose their role as a stay at home wife/mother or enter into a partnership with that expectation should definitely consider the man’s finances as that predicts, to a certain extent, a good life for her (their) offspring. Of course, money isn’t everything…. But it buys food, shelter, and certain securities. Now the reasoning behind considering money can definitely get selfish and abusive, but it isn’t always the case. Money is incredibly important.
I know of a woman who was a nurse and then got married and her husband could provide everything needed for her and her children. She always felt compelled to keep up with all her certifications and still worked one night shift a week, I believe, after her kids went to bed. When their kids were still young her husband ( who had never smoked) was diagnosed with lung cancer. He went down quickly and died. She was so glad she always kept her certifications, even though it was kind of a pain and she missed an entire night of sleep a week with young kids.
well that is terrible! I am glad that she had something to fall back on. Also having life insurance for the husband will usually give you enough of a buffer to find a job. Especially if you are educated.
I am leaning towards the woman too. This exchange reflects what an exceptionally poor form of communication text messages are and how people throw people and relationships away with a bunch of dysfunctional assumptions.
Tbf I had a negative emotional response to the tiktok screenshots of the mother raising her daughter that way. My mum raised me in a similar way. It was unfair. I had 2 brothers. Both my brothers never had to do chores, never had to help out at home and were able to go out whenever they wanted. I had to stay home and cook, clean do laundry. I wanted to just be a kid and have fun but I wasn't allowed to. I had to be a perfect all rounder- do well in school, train to be a perfect wife... and my brothers could do whatever they wanted. My dream is to be a homemaker but I would NEVER force the same on my child... my child is allowed to be a child not a bride in the making...
I love being a trad wife. Taking care of our home and my husband truly makes me so happy every day. He’s supporting me while I’m in school and once I graduate he will still be the head of our home. I think you can’t have 2 cooks in the kitchen if you know what I mean. I believe in the gender roles because I have personally lived through the shift to being a trad wife. I’m so much happier. So many modern day feminists that I know drag me for it but I see their lives and they definitely don’t seem happy to me. Just my 2 cents 🤷🏽♀️
as long as you have a back up plan if something goodness forbid happened to your husband, I support your decision as a moderate feminist ! one of my guy friends left this world with a widow and 4 kids because of cancer.. its been hard on his wife and now she has to support their family on her own.
Check out Amala being the strong and independent woman who don't need no man in Nashville! As for the man overreacting to what the girl said about her wanting him to take care of all expenses, I agree he was triggered by something. I think that's due to being somewhat poisoned by consuming too much online content, some or a lot of which might tend to be toxic. I have to check myself often because if I'm listening to too much negativity then it tends to affect my overall attitude.
I can relate to that. Listening to all the redpill podcast turns you angry and bitter and distrusting. Thankfully all it takes for those emotions to go away is to find healthier sources of content to listen to, like Chris Williamson, Louise Perry, Jordan Peterson. Doesn’t take long for the anger to reside
I had a very successful career in high tech for decades. It was a lot of work - constant travel, crazy hours, conf calls in the middle of the night, etc. One time, my boss expressed surprise that I didn't have a hot meal every night like he did, and recommended I should have the same. I reminded him his wife makes it for him but I AM the wife. If he thought I should have a hot meal every night, I would be happy to leave at 5 pm every day so I could make one. He never brought it up again.
So if you’re the one working the most why wouldn’t your husband make you dinner? Just because you’re the wife doesn’t mean your husband has no responsibility to help you with these things. My husband helps with the meals depending on the situation. We both contribute however I am still the better cook lol. I’m just confused as to why your husband wouldn’t cook dinner for you after a long day of working or Atleast cook together if you’re both working. Do you feel it all falls on you at the end of the day? I’m sorry if so.
@@elettramia6380 In the early years, my husband was working and also had a long commute as I did. Sometimes, he cooked, but his repertoire was limited (grilling, even in winter). Then, I was traveling about 75% of the time and he was cooking for himself or otherwise fending for himself while I traveled. We didn't have kids and, somehow, we got into a mode that worked for us - largely takeout during the week because I was only home a couple of nights and out of town the rest. I never cooked during the week but I went wild on weekends trying lots of different dishes. I liked to cook when I had the time (weekends), but always new things. It was not a traditional situation.
You’re totally right on women having options for a career. Our dad died and my mum became a widowed mother of 4 at 32. She had always worked as a chef and did shifts on the weekend to top up the income. School mums were so judgmental and would huddle in their witch coven corner talking about how disgusting she was, now we’d call it slut shaming. After school one day I remember the most awkward yet best conversations. She finally got the nerve to walk over after hearing a comment and informed them in her words that she was “not a street whore or a single mum I’m widow, my husband was a tree surgeon and slipped to his death and broke his neck on impact killing him outright. You seem to have missed my ring which I can’t bring myself to take off” Basically, when we were making Father’s Day cards I said that I didn’t have a dad but I wanted to make one for my grandad. Children will tell you everything they hear and it was assumed that my mum just decided to live a single life. Sooo many people are ignorant. My uncle on my dads side had his leg amputated after a motorcycle accident when he was 19 and he’d always get comments about parking in a disabled bay (with a pass they clearly didn’t look for) he took great pleasure in asking if they wanted a verbal mouthful or a kick in the face with his false leg. All of this to say, it’s so fucking satisfying seeing people red with embarrassment after trying to shame people with no clue on what their circumstances are.
Wanting someone to fill a traditional gender role for you and then shaming them for wanting you to fill a traditional gender role for them is WILD lmao 😂
Here's the problem with that guys comment. He needs to grow up. That girl is nowhere *NEAR* fat or "out of shape" number 1. Secondly......just because *HIS* life revolves around being fit.....great for him. Her life might revolve around crocheting but that doesn't mean *HE* has to start buying himself balls of yarn and learning to make sweaters 🙄 *Now LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT.....if she did "grind" and became some acceptable size for him...and he did marry her..WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO when she has a BABY and her body changes and that little pooch isn't as easy to get rid of or maybe not possible to get rid of at all. Dump her? Or just constantly remind her how hideous and unacceptable she is 🤨 He needs to get a grip*
Men want a 50s wife without themselves being a 50s man. Good luck finding that woman. We are out there and gladly want to be trad wives. But you have to play your part too. I’m with a provider and happy to take care of everything else. That’s how it works. He’s happy about it. I’m happy.
It's not "his" children in a marriage. It's "our" children. Just saying. If people have children together in a marriage the children are theirs together. This guys sounds like he's wack, but I just wanted to correct the terminology with the children. As for the fitness guy...why didn't he just ask her if she'd be willing to get into fitness? 🤷♀️ I mean I got more into even more fitness when I dated certain men and I wanted men that were into fitness as well. Many times people will get into it because of someone they are dating. Santos in a creep and furries are creepy too. Both could probably use some mental health checks and some therapy. Lol.
We didn’t see her body but she appears to be a healthy weight so the guy was shallow and she dodged a bullet. Imagine his reaction when he finds out what child birth does to a woman’s body.
She sounds pretty clear. He has unrealistic expectations. If she is staying home with the kids he needs to provide for the household. One of the reasons why I chose not to have kids as I saw myself working full time and doing all housework and all child care. I already work full time and do all housework look after our pets. His contribution is low lawns once a week in summer cooks two meals a week a dog walk in the morning. I do everything else.
Its about working together, even if its splitting roles in the traditional way or sharing them, but you hit the nail on the head saying it wouldnt work without the balance. men like that guy in the first one want the perks of both a 'modern' woman and a 'traditional' woman, with none of the cons of either, they want to give the minimum and be valued while expecting the maximum and not appreciating thier wife, thats if theyre actually wanting to wife anyone up, many want the perks of a wife/relationship without the commitment either. And yeah, it may work for him until it doesnt work for her, she grows unhappy, it poisons the relationship and one leaves, probably her bceause he doesnt want to lose half of his money, or half of the house and kids he never took part in caring for, that being said its not just a male issue, their are women with the same mindset, want the perks of being a trad wife but none of the cons, wants to be a SAHW/M without the responsibilities, you can;t expect him to do 100% of the financial care and also 50% of the home care, that math aint mathing. This lack od appreciation, acknowledgement and balance is toxic.
Shes more in the right than he is but she definitely could’ve said it differently than “someone to cover my expenses and get me what I want” that comes off as entitled princess energy. He should’ve asked her to clarify though and not instantly go to “f you”
you hit the nail on the head. That phrasing was an immediate red flag. He reacted poorly, very poorly. But he could be right with how she said it " “someone to cover my expenses and get me what I want”.
The "Matchmaker Girl" I could potentially enjoy that personality and get with her. But, I highly doubt she would accept/want me unless she gets more desperate.
My advice to anyone that goes on a date with someone, and feels they are initially getting along, in this time of heated topics. After you meet up and feel it's good for a 2nd date or more. Other than casually exchanging texts to arrange the next meetup; talk on the phone, talk in person, or don't talk. As, it's highly likely you will mess up something that could have potential, at least initially.
My marriage was unequal. He worked. I worked, went to college full time, cleaned the house and took care of our kids and cooked dinner. Circumstances changed, he didnt work and half azzed the cooking and his part of the cleaning I worked and ran a small business on the side and did some house chores. I filed for divorce.
The woman was 100% correct in her position on this one. I honestly in shock that the guy was delulu enough to think she was a gold digger given the fact that he said he wanted a trad wife. He clearly doesn't know what a Trad wife even is. I guess the foolishness of today's dating market continues another day smh.
I will say, though, that if someone who has a physical deformity or a serious injury from an accident or violence then I am understanding and try to be graceful in those situations.
My wonderful man refuses to let me get filler. We have 3 beautiful children and I’ve mentioned wanting it and he is absolutely in love with my natural beauty. He doesn’t even use Instagram and isn’t flooded with fake pictures. He works all day for our family but has still had his fair share of beautiful women in his past. The fact that he finds me the most beautiful? That’s the biggest blessing. We want to grow old together and look that way. ❤
But why even bring up her weight in that break-up text? Why mention it?? Wouldn't it be easier to just say, "I've had a great time, but I don't think we're compatible" .. it's just unnecessary to call her fat
Regarding "natural beauty": my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and she has had absolutely 0 cosmetic procedures done and doesn't wear make up unless it's a special occasion. This is absolutely my preference as I have always disliked women who wear tons of makeup or have a lot of "work done" on their bodies or faces, so the insinuation that, as a man, I don't know what that looks like or have been tricked by plastic surgery or "natural looking" makeup is a little insulting if I'm honest. While I'm sure there are men like that out there, many of us know exactly what natural beauty looks like, think our wives and girlfriends look just a beautiful in sweatpants and t shirts than in a ball gown, and don't except or desire you to wear a full face of makeup every day. If women out there have a man in their lives that tell them they look beautiful just the way they are naturally when they wake up in the morning, believe them! The idea that we are lying or ignorant just further perpetuates the insecurities that billion dollar cosmetic and plastic surgery industries thrive on. It annoys me to no end that online creators would insinuate to young women that if a man tells them they are beautiful without makeup that they're just wrong, you aren't beautiful, and you need to spend hundreds of dollars a month on creams and masks and cosmetics and etc etc etc.
My only issue with the little girl with her mom teaching her to be a maid... is that i see a lot of tiktoks of boymoms putting down girls saying yeaching my son to do this and thia so he doesnt care about your daughter. And then the girls are like teaching my daghter to be a maid for your son... like its sad that girls are expected to be maids while the boys are being taught to hate the maid....
I think she's just having a different point of view for her daughter, because everyone says that "we have to be girl bosses and not depend on anyone" (especially men). So she's basically saying "it's okay if you want this life, and it's just as important" because many people dismiss working from home.
Yeah, that's definitely not the majority of outcomes, girls being taught to be the maid. Not is it the majority, for boymoms teaching their boys to not want another woman besides her. So you shouldn't color the scope of our species on these two conflicting subsets.
Parents should be teaching their children to just be good people and to treat others kindly. Wtf is wrong with people today is beyond me, but it's truly sad. Such a selfish culture we live in.
@@fadevariascoisas Why do men want women depending on them so much? But when they do their called gold diggers. How is it painful to hear a person you don't know doesn't need you romantically to live. I do need a man, and a man doesn't need a woman to survive in everyday life. It's reality. Women aren't offended by men saying they don't need a woman romantically, we could care less.
Happy Friday to Amala, great show debates about dating someone in 2023, Alpha Males, trad wives and etc. Keep up with the good work for your show Amala. That's funny as hell with you doing a high pitched voice and a your normal voice.
My relationship is so unbalanced as far as the roles go. I have a part time job to keep my full time business going and I take care of our animals (we don’t have children) and I do all the cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. it’s exhausting. The house is never fully kept up and it’s overwhelming and I feel like a terrible woman for not being able to do it all. My fiance assures me that he understands it’s too much to keep up with and he works a ton too but it’s all too much.
Ok so then he needs to help you around the house an EQUAL amount if you’re both working a lot. I really think it would help to make a chore calendar that you’re BOTH expecting to help with. Decide what days you do certain chores and who does it that day and just switch chores every week. I hope that helps. And if he refuses then I would say goodbye. Not all partners are keepers just because you’re “comfortable” in a relationship
@@elettramia6380 he helps when he can, he works 10-12 hour shifts, sometimes doubles. He’s a dispatcher, volunteer firefighter and volunteer EMS. He works a lot. We both do. It’s hard to keep everything balanced.
It seems like it has everything to do with the way she worded her wants/needs. “Buy me anything I want” For the gym guy. He at least had enough respect for her to tell her the truth and what was up. As a fit female, I don’t want a man who isn’t fit either.
My husband and I married after dating for 5 months. He was a Marine and I was a special education assistant. We had nothing. I got pregnant with our first daughter 2 months after we were married. I had our second when our first want even 2. I stayed home with them and took care of them and the house till my girls both were in preschool. I still take care of the home, work 6.5 hours a day, our kids are 21 and 19 and my husband works usually 9 hours a day and takes care of figuring out our finances. This is a good set up. I don't mind taking our youngest all over the place so, and making sure he has everything he needs during the day for work, but he gives me so much in return. Not to mention, taking care of the finances takes more hours than cleaning the house.
As a man natural means what i see when i see when i wake up in the a.m. I also don't have social media. Im cool with light make up that accueates what you have.
That guy didn't actually want to be in a relationship. Once she presented herself as exactly what he was looking for, he was just looking for excuses to back out.
Being a traditional wife or mother doesn't mean you can't have other joys it just means that it will be the greatest joy. My most traditional friend wants to be a wife/mother, but she also wants to be a web designer, and that's fine, I want to be a stay at home mum. Notice how you have a choice and how it's more about priorities. And why shouldn't my family be my utmost priority, I think we can all say that it's what gives everyone the most joy, and I will eternally be a mum. You won't be working forever, thank G-d.
That first dude is definitely wrong and I am willing to bet he's a Tate and Pearl fan. The second guy is crazy because she definitely isn't fat. Something is wrong with him if he isn't attracted to someone he has that strong of a emotional connection with.
My husband fell in love with my face. My real face, no make up, no surgery, nothing. He wouldn't want me to have work done on my face because it wouldn't be me anymore. My face has changed over the 19 years we've been married and he still loves it, more now than ever. It has wrinkles from smiles and worries about children and life, and bags sometimes from staying up late and getting up early. It's beautiful just the way it is. Why would I want to not be me?
I am a 29 year old woman who has spent my entire adult life focusing on my education and career. And now I'm lonely af, feeling my biological clock start to tick a bit louder. I wish someone had given me the advice that Amala wisely received.
I didn’t get married and start our family until my 30’s, so it’s not too late for you. I would put myself out there in trying to meet people I guess, but don’t overlook red flags just bc u think you’re short on time either.
Just throwing out some wild advice because why not 🤷🏾. Try coming to the Caribbean for a bit. Like Trinidad or Jamaica. We sometimes pretend otherwise but our men LOVE white women. And I don't just mean the poor street vendor types, the good quality men out here with pursue you to the ends of the earth lol, for marriageand family and the whole 9 hards. You'll be able to pretty much pick and chose. But please remember to choose wisely........ (btw, I know how crazy this suggestion sounds lol, but hey only have one life right? Plus the core of the advice is that there are many places around the world where you are an insanely demanded commodity (figure of speech) for some very good men, so why not go where you're a prized treasure and take your pick. Anyway all the best!! 😅)
I think some generations are blessed for not growing up with social media. I mean, we did grow up with MTV stars that were hot, beautiful and fit we were reading teen magazines that featured beautiful actresses, musicians and models, and the most beautiful models were very in when we were young (early 90s and 2000s) but the trick is - they were all different and unique in ther beauty, or beautiful in their uniqueness. And many models were actually not that perfectly beautiful, when you look better they had some quirks that would be considered imperfections by today's standard but that is what made them unique and very fitting for interesting photographs, they were very picturesque. I just can't understand why would anyone want to look like everyone else. Uniqueness will become a very rare and therefore valuable asset soon, so my advice to all women would be to keep your uniqueness!
I always have said i wanted a nose job and my husband ( then bf ) will just say, "i fell in love with that big nose. Youre beautiful." Lol i stopped wanting the nose job after my husband (then boyfriend) always reminding me of how beautiful i am to him.
Being a parent and seeing the sadness go on in the world, id much prefer people who don't want kids to not have them. Kids can bring so much love and joy, but also a lot lit of stress. Some people break under that stress and it never turns out well for the kid, either emotionally or physically.
My mother taught me everything I know, but my first lesson was a woman’s place was in the house. She is the queen of the house. As soon as you walk through the door the woman is the boss. PERIOD!
Nah. This dude wants all the trad wife benefits with all the modern women income. He also does sound kinda broke.
broke at the bank and broke in morals too !
I’m a man and I totally am siding with the woman on this matter. She was very up front about her wants. And truthfully, her desires were in line with his initial expressed thoughts. Presuming this was an actual conversation, even if she was a gold digger, which does NOT seem to be the case, she communicated her desires…take it or leave it. Absolutely zero need to go in on her like that…
She was downright reasonable.
Dudes got damage.
Same bud. Dudes off his Sh*t
Exactly! And she was very level-headed despite him freaking out like that. He really seems like a total gaslighter and it's good she's not with him... I don't know who they are in person, because I don't know what they look like. You have to remember that Angel from the club, lol, can also just be telling him what he wants to hear. We just don't have all the facts, but on face value, bullet dodged for her, hehe.
@@MariusOberholster Heh, he probably just suffers from paranoia (and I'm sure it'd been stoked by disreputable sources).
I don't believe he was attempting to gaslight (his intentions were the opposite of gaslighting).
@@occamsrazor1285 The gaslighting is him telling her she tried to embarrass him at the restaurant if it were actually him making a scene (just like in the texts) and calling her a gold digger when she describes what she wants when it actually fits what he wants. In other words, it'll also be her fault if he cheats on her or hits her down the line.
Some men out here wanting a trad wife but don’t understand that requires a trad partner. If you want a homemaker and a stay at home parent, you’ve got to provide the income, period.
I am not meant to be a homemaker, and that’s ok with me and my husband. We met when I was just starting out my education for my career. I’m now bringing double his income, and we have a comfortable life as a result that we wouldn’t have if I was a homemaker. So we balance the home life together, as partners!
I looooove that!
You do what works for you
They also think women from Asia wouldn't beat their asses.... these guys live off stereotypes... and emotions... not logic or reality...
So many men out there say that they want a traditional wife that will stay home and take care of the home and kids but they don't want to take on the financial responsibility that it takes to do that .
It’s really interesting. My mother pointed out o me recently there is a large subset of men who basically act like overgrown toddlers and I don’t mean not picking up after themselves.
I mean living rent free in what is usually a GIRLFRIENDS home, getting his shit paid for, and proceed to be completely ungreatfulcand somehow continue to think he’s the “man” of the house when “his” woman is taking up both damn roles of the house. And then these women do shit like donate a damn kidney to a man wasting air like that! No self worth for those women and no drive in those men to do shit all in life.
We were eating out and she pointed out this black couple- the woman was beautiful and put together and the man was in oversized tees and jeans under his ass. He was this nasty social recluse in a bad mood and refused to talk to the waiter and of course; she paid without even asking who would. You could 100% tell who the bread winner was. He left his side of the table messy asf too.
Idk what these women see in these men besides the insecurity inflicted upon them by them enough to think they can’t do better or have any standards for the people around them particularly men.
The coddling of the masculine sex has ruined it imo. They want to be taken care of like their girlfriend is their mother and many of them seem to revert to child mentality like that the second things get serious even when they were independent.
I mean I have a friend who has been living with a guy for 5 years and she’s the only one who’s ever once had a job lol and he’s claimed he’s “tried”. It’s such bs.
Tbh at this point…. Not really sure how our social norms will course correct…
@@Birchlead I will definitely never understand why any woman would want to be with man that acts like that. My father was a very hard working man. When he wasn't at work he was at home with his family helping my mom take care of things at home and me and my siblings. My husband is the same way. Doe many years before he became disabled due to health reasons he not only worked hard at his job but also helped me with things at home as well. He can no longer work outside the home so that falls on me now and has for a few years now. I don't mind it because I still have the support from him that I need
That's the problem. These men dont understand what it means to have a traditional woman and life. My husband comes from a culture where women stay at home. His mom was a Bank Manager and he still understands what it means for the woman to stay at home. He always offers me to do just that although I always reject it.
So many. Not majority so stop worrying. If that's the kind of men you see on a daily basis it's your own problem.
What’s funniest you can say the exact same about women. Women always say they want to traditional man but don’t wanna be traditional themselves. When I was in college, girls are passed around like chocolate and what’s funny is that these woman thought it was empowering but in reality it was destroying their mental health and they were just being used.
Man: I want a trad wife who will stay home and take care of the kids.
Woman: I want to be a trad wife.
Man: Gold digger.
If she's at home. Where she will get the money?
Looking after kids is hard. Most men can't do it. My husband can only look after them for maybe 4 hours. If I'm sick he can manage but he's like can't do it everyday 😂
@@jennyj0007Whenever my husband works from home he's extra happy to go to work the next day lol. He couldn't do what I do, and I can't do what he does, and that's why we're perfect together.
You have a great imagination. Gold digger and trad wife are 2 different terms. Only people who know too little make assumptions to feel safe.
@@guheshvaravadivelu5021 did we not watch the same video? Actually, did you even watch the video?
He wants a traditional wife but doesn't want to be a traditional man tf xDDDD
To "you're only interested in my money", Sir, you're only interested in her being a free maid while also having paying half the bills??
Why can’t the man be the maid and the woman be the breadwinner if we’re rejecting toxic male created cisgender stereotypes?
I guess she can cook and clean for him and look after his babies in the homeless shelter🤷🏾♀️
I'm convinced men like that really want a mommy roommate they can also fuck, and think that's what a they can turn women into that😖
@@abbiereynolds8016 you’re slow
I'm so lucky that my husband works long hours so I can stay home with my 4 month old and he's so great and helps out when he gets home. But when telling others that. They look at me like I'm lazy af and give him praise and pity him for having to work so much
Damn Amala! Back at it again with the logic! I agree with you and the women in the text messages logic. I am a house wife and my husband provides the income. I provide the clean home, and clean meals. We BOTH provide the love that balances one another when times get hard.
The guy wants a home maker and stay at home wife/mother for his kids but then calls the girl who wants to be exactly that a gold digger LOL.
Ikr?!
I used to want a nose & boob job back in high school, even had a “boob jar” that I would throw extra cash & change into as kind of a joke. When I meet my husband at 19 & he heard my plans he would always tell me not to do it. He’d always say that my face was perfect & that my boobs were just the right handful 😂 (after we got together of course)
14yrs, one great marriage & an amazing son later, he’s still my biggest fan. I’m 33 now, and never did get that work done 💚
This is the sweetest cutest TMI I have ever read 😂
Fr fr. Same. But i do have a different ass- set he likes 😂
For the story on trad wife, I'm curious how she tried to embarrass him at the restaurant.
Either way. She dodged a bullet, for sure.
As a trad wife myself... We have two kids! It's a lot of work and we're not rich, but we're making it work. Our home is full of love. That's what we're rich in.
She later clarified it was because he ordered her food for her and she ended up being allergic to it and had to tell the waiter she could not eat it. She paid for them too. 💀
@@ButterflyyyxoxoI was already convinced the conversation was fake and this addition just pretty much confirmed it was. I refuse to believe that actually happened.
@@KoishiChan92 it’s possible she was trying to be polite and NOT embarrass the guy as he ordered, so she privately told the waiter she couldn’t have whatever it was 🤷🏻♀️ a guy like this clearly sounds like he would take things the wrong way
I was going to say it was probably something dumb like the guy tried to order for her and she wanted to order for herself instead, but seeing the able comment of what actually happened it’s even more stupid
@@KoishiChan92You don't believe guy like that exist? Have you seen these alpha males and Sigma videos?? Lmao.
I’m the trad wife minus the gorgeous grooming time and lifestyle.
I’m nursing a toddler ( yep he still nurses), cleaning up messes, cooking all the meals (I serve my husband as he would serve me if it was visa versa) cleaning house, running the errands and homeschooling my oldest. One day I’ll be able to add time for personal care/self care but for now hubby slaves to the job and I slave to the home. We’ll make it through, I promise.
Same minus the nursing. Be sure to take care of yourself and take breaks as they become available, but I figure when kids are grown, there will be plenty of time for being fancy. Right now, I gotta make sure to schedule showers around naps, so a manicure isn't happening! 😂
sounds like a beautiful family, so happy for you both
I’m currently nursing my 2 year old as well. I’m gonna stick my neck out here and insert my opinion that extended breastfeeding is traditional. Completely on par with being a trad wife.
We aren’t always picture perfect, I know I certainly am not; but I’m 100 a trad wife.
@JenELeeP1 I'm sorry you're going through that. People can be so rude, often without meaning to... a decade ago, hubby and I were dinks... now im a trad wife minus the barbie look (I actually have some health issues that make it nearly impossible to get a job in the feids i trained in so im working on my health but its exhausing explaining that to others when they ask the usual boring questions to fill in the silence. I'm always getting questions about what I do. Even when I worked, I hated it. It was like, why do i have to think of work when im not there? So I now ask people what they do for fun and think of other little questions before i attend events, to change the flow of conversation. Sometimes they still won't be sidetracked but other times people they realise it's an overstep.
YES YOU WILL! Women like you are my heroes. For real.
Honestly this boy needs to grow up. I never expected my wife to work. Those were her choice. Being a man that takes care of a wife and children financially is the mans position in the marriage.
Eh nah it’s not like that anymore. Couples can decide what works for them. You can do 50/50 or the man can provide everything financially or some combo of in between.
Yes! You need to teach a class or something.
She def dodged a big bullet. I am a homemaker. I dont need a huge house and my husband takes care of us financially. I make sure he has a clean house, clean clothes, good food, etc. These guys need to stop thinking that all women are 304 golddiggers.
It's a sad world. Women read the bad things a minority of men do and assumed all men are terrible. Can't say the same about men. The things men are complaining about now are not new. These are things men have always complained about yet chose to tough it out. Nowadays it's not worth toughing it out when society and law is against us. I won't power through something that won't bear any good results for me or my environment. Men are getting smarter.
The texting guy showed his true colours when he started cussing her out. He has no class and would be an a*hole to live with.
The guy is delusional. She isn't a gold digger. She is a trad wife. And more power to her. It isn't like she is going to be sitting around all day doing nothing.
What Amala was describing about how this guy seems to expect his partner to do everything including working, taking care of the house and raising children was literally my family growing up. Mum switched between working full time and part time for years on end, did all the household work, ran errands and raised my brother and I. My Mum could’ve stopped working but our family wouldn’t have been able to sustain ourselves with only my Dad’s income alone. It wasn’t an equal partnership but then again both my parents were doing so much to maintain the lifestyle we had. Nowadays my Mum suffers from Mum guilt because she feels she wasn’t there enough for my brother and I growing up, which she was but that’s not how she feels about it. A partnership should be equal in the sense that the amount of responsibilities you take on it equal or close to your partner. If this guy expects the woman he wants to be with to do everything, he is in for a rude awakening as it is never going to end well.
We get burnt out. I get depressed if i can't leave the house. It can be overwhelming especially if you have a difficult child always fighting drains you physically n mentally. Yeah, once in a while, i want a fucking spa day without the kids ruining my day!
@@jennyj0007and so you deserve. Even if your a home maker. Or trad wives or call it whatever. You’re not a slave. You deserve to take a wine night with friends. Spa day alone.’ Shopping time without kids.
Your not a slave. Same as women who are mothers and have careers. Deserve their own time. Basically any parent mother or father deserve alone time.
But I think it must be harder to get alone time as a stay at home mom to get her alone time than other parents.
And that sucks man.
Everyone is their own person and not just a parent.
Your doing an important job and hope you take time for yourself girlie
That woman in the beginning is describing my marriage, and it’s not golddigging to say “provide for our household and/or family while I take care of everything else…. money management, keeping up a house, raising children, handling the logistics of life!”. I still work here and there thus bring in some income, but that covers most travel expenses and fun family stuff, not bills. Keeping up a house, yard, raising children (well), hosting family events and holidays, etc. is a full time job! That dude is a major D BAG and I can’t believe he had the balls to booty call, especially a woman who wants to be a trad wife, like no way!
You sound amazing, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, but is it possible you're generalizing from your own experience? Unlike you, the woman in the beginning not only expects not to work, but also ("no stress") doesn't seem to want to sweat the homefront either. It's also quite possible that the traditional man expected to handle the yardwork and finances.
My grandmother did as much as my grandfather or more. She worked at a dress factory, had six kids, and far fewer conveniences than today - probably the most important context for this conversation. Whether individuals choose "trad" or not, life in 2023 is set up for the convenience of working singles or DINK couples, and therefore eliminates or automates most of what Nana had to do by hand (or the errands she had to run without a car). It hasn't resulted in any comparable reduction in work outside the home, but has in fact added a lot of "necessities" for modern breadwinners to buy that didn't exist back then.
It's still possible to CHOOSE to make motherhood a full-time job, but the simple fact is that most (likely including the woman in the video) don't. Once my sister and I stopped being helpless little kids, most of my mother's "job" took place in front of the soap operas; today it's social media. Given all the above, the most frustrating part is that society seems to almost unanimously condemn any man who has the audacity to come home from 8-16+ hours work with any intention other than doing "his share" of the housework.
@@Justice-ian Thank you, and of course that’s possible; we can all only speak from our own experiences while listening as best we can to others’. I learned how to be a wife from Nana and how to work hard from mum, so I think I got a good dose of both which I why I prefer to do the renovations, yard work, fencing, etc. projects (bc I’m good at that and my husband is a motorhead and keeps us safely on the road in some bitchin cars) it’s a fair division of labour at home. I don’t use all modern conveniences except a shark vac a rarely use, haha, but I see your point on “less to do in 2023” so idk what that would look like to stay home with all conveniences. I know laundry still doesn’t fold itself and dust doesn’t dust itself, and it didn’t sound like this woman in particular was asking for anything extravagant 🤷🏻♀️
“provide for our household and/or family while I take care of everything else…. money management..." hehe. You bring in the money, I'll manage the spending.
Heres the thing with the "youre not healthy enough" guy: 1. Shes not even fat and is obv physically active which means they can do physical activities together like hiking. Ik it's a sexual attraction thing, but invite her to work out or do things with you. You know. Bonding.
2. Whats going to happen if they get married and have kids? Most women don't/can't go back to pre pregnancy body after having a child. Your bones literally move. Is he going to leave her for having loose stomach skin and stretch marks and abdominal muscle issues? What if she gets ill and gains a bunch of weight being bed bound or unable to participate in anything more than some walking? If he has to care for her long term is he going to starve her to keep her skinny? Beauty is temporary and idk how grown boys still dont know that
As a man, in a trad relationship I think that catering to your husband and basically making sure that he is happy so he can provide for you and make you happier as well is part of being a trad wife. It depends on the husband what he really asks for, for me that includes looking good for me (to the best of her abilities). So I expect her to exercise, have a healthy diet, take care of her skin and take measures to prevent stretch marks etc. I don't think it's such an unrealistic or weird thing to ask. Obviously she won't be always as pretty as she was, aging is a thing, and that's ok, and of course if she gets sick or depressed or anything else and gets fat because of it it doesn't mean divorce lol, but I expect this to be temporary, just like if I have a trouble with my income, I'll do my best to get back to making as much money I made before as soon as possible and possibly increase that income with time
I think that the guy needs to chill out. She sounds very down to earth to me
So he wants a homemaker and a bread winner. Wow 😂
"Grind for 6 months", he says to a skinny girl.... What does he want, a Lean Beef Patty?
Yeah, that whole situation was just handled really weird and excessive.
Lean beef patty is pretty cool tho
@Megang1776not just the food. Lean Beef Patty has a channel.
Yeah the whole thing was weird. He was way overdramatic about it which made it worse for the girl. He could have just said that he values physical fitness more than her and left it at that. But he went on and on and on. Sounds like she may have dodged a bullet.
Can you imagine marrying a guy like that and then struggling to lose baby weight? Or have some other condition? That would be a hard pass.
Sounds like my ex husband LOL wanted me to have the kids, clean everything spotless (with a 1 y/o), cook all the meals AND hated the fact I wasn’t contributing financially. At first I thought she sounded too focused on the money but how he replied is just nuts. It’s a typical response from a lot of guys.
I think in the beginning she used a term which is typical of what you would expect from a goldigger - but in the context of the larger conversation she was obviously just looking to be a supported trad wife.
Soooooo, wait he wants a wife that takes care of the kids, cooks, cleans & pays the bills??????? Soooo whats he doing??????
Sounds like He wants to marry his single boss babe mother mother
@sadclownco He wants a Sugar mama that will do EVERYTHING for him!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ain't gonna happen!!! What a loser!!!!
The woman was correct!! These men don’t want to do anything but work part time and expect the woman to pick up the rest of the slack. Gross
Hold up here. If a man worked half time and woman didn't work, they're both dead of starvation. If he's earning average, and he's working FULL TIME, they are almost starving on that one salary anyway. He'd have to work two jobs and just work and sleep.
I understand that if the guy wanted a "traditional woman" its perfectly reasonable to expect him to be a "traditional man" which maybe he wasn't up for - its true you can't have it both ways. If all he does is provide, than all she does is take care of kids and household. If he wanted both of them to work, than they also both should share the chores and caring for kids. Expecting her to both care for the kids and house AND provide half the income is unreasonable. But hey, if he couldn't afford to provide for the whole family working regular hours (which I perfectly understand in this economy etc.) and wanted to also live a little aside from work - then both of them off to work it is.
@@metalmarten3478 I think you misunderstood my comment. We are saying the same thing. He wants to work without any responsibilities at home but expect her to work, do all the cleaning, cooking and take care of the children. That’s not reasonable. If I have to work then I expect my husband to also share responsibilities at home. If a man want to have a traditional wife then he needs to earn a decent salary and make good financial decisions to afford a family.
@@metalmarten3478 But by your logic, if the guy worked part time, then the woman picking up the slack would have to work full time *plus* have an additional part time job. Plus take care of the children, cook and clean. That's what the OP is talking about; many guys expect the woman to put more effort into the financial/household aspects of the relationship than they would.
@@rustinstardust2094 yeah you didn't read the whole post did ya. No, all I said was they'd be dead if he worked part time. Because og statement was "men want to work part time" more like double time, if they're the only ones providing income.
@@metalmarten3478 Err...I think you may be the one not fully reading the posts, then.
Housewife is a job… lol anyone that’s says otherwise is delusional.
-general housekeeping
-meal prep and cooking (already a job by itself lol)
-finance officer
-daycare (a job on its own lmao)
-let me know if I missed something 😂
Yard work is also included in my job description 😅
Taxi or Uber driver is missing / teacher
It is work, a lot of work and some of the most important work in the world. But many won't classify it as a "job" as it provides no financial income, actually quite the opposite as it take money to cook, upkeep a house, transport kids around, etc.
Men take out the trash, mow the lawn, Generally work more labor intensive jobs, fix things in the home, some husbands build things for their wives and there should be some things that I’m missing. But needless to say I think the roles are evenly distributed. The alternative is being a single mom with a lot more on your shoulders or never being a mom at all. In this economy and household needs 2 incomes so to assume that you won’t have to work is crazy to me lol. She does clearly want a man who makes enough money to support her and her their kids😊 and she should definitely go find that. Dude was kinda aggressive with her for no reason though lol
- Emotional support ( aka therapist)
- Event manager (it's usually the wife's job to organize social gatherings)
- Paramedic / nurse for sick and / or injured children.
I am in a child-free marriage. I never wanted kids, not for any particular reason, I never had that gravitational pull to do so. Some people are not meant to be parents and that's fine, Amala telling you otherwise is exactly the same thing as people telling you not to have kids, two sides of the same coin. No one makes that decision for you.
Except that you are failing your ancestors and an entire civilization
Same here. It's amazing the amount of hate you receive when telling other people you don't want to have children.. but I believe that it's better for people who know they don't want children to.. not have children. Otherwise, both the children and the parents would be miserable and it'd not be a healthy situation.
I agree, however, I do think she just means generally, as is most married people.
Ya as a mom myself I tell people all the time Not to have kids and if you do make sure you are fully ready because it’s a lot of trauma if you’re Not. Of course I love my kids but a lot of parents will tell you after their experience that having kids wasn’t the best decision at the time. And of course you get to deal with your body completely changing and dealing with that depression for the rest of your life unless you get plastic surgery. I’m not being negative I’m just speaking the truth as a woman who has both of her children by the time I was 24. If you want kids great, but it’s Not that serious is my opinion. And it’s very strange to act like it is wrong to Not want kids. Not to mention the fact that most people who have kids together do NOT stay to together in the long run. But these people will figure that out soon enough on their own once they have kids
I agree ! not all women have a motherly instinct - I know I sure as hell don't
I had a man say - I don’t like all that makeup you wear (black eyeliner since 1994) and he took me to Lancôme and had them do my makeup and said “that’s better”. I had foundation and concealer and bronzer highlighter blush , liner, lipstick, shadow - I was covered and uncomfortable. After one week I ended up sticking with the thin black line from 1994 and found a new man that likes it or nothing.
The second guy, it’s fine to just be kind and say she doesn’t have the physique he is looking for. But to say if she works out hard and loses weight then she can talk to him again is beyond lol. Hell no.
Dear men without the gold who get angry at women for being "gold diggers"
Please understand that in relationships where the woman is there for the money, the men fully know that, and are fine with it as it is literally a business transaction between the pair. The woman is expected to behave a certain way, in return she is taken care of and gets a huge allowance. Both parties are fully well aware of their agreement. And so long as both agree to their terms, then it's fine and no one else's business.
So the women out there that are after high salary earners are also not going to be interested in you if you aren't. They don't owe it to you to be interested either. Just move on and find someone who has the same moral integrity as you. No need to be offended that you can't offer what someone is looking for in a partner.
Also, that woman in the text exchange was in no way shape or form a gold digger.
Yes she did dodge a bullet but he doesn’t sound that rich either. A rich person wouldn’t be offended
I think we need to accept and respect that some people naturally want families and kids and others don't... we shouldnt shame either way or think because I think this way then surely the others will regret thinking otherwise after some time...some people dont want romantic relationships, marriage or kids... and thats ok we all should do what makes us happy as long as it doesnt hurt other people
Tik tok culture has turned every aspect of life into a pseudo polemic, just without any insight
Totally agree, but you shouldn’t start dating whilst saying you want one thing, then drag someone (who also wants the same thing) when it’s thoroughly laid out for them 😂
I'm a SAHM of 2. It is a lot of work. I cook, clean, meal plan, and keep up minor house maintenances (we oay for bigger up keep) along of raising 2 kids. My oldest is in elementary school and I do a lot of one-on-one work with him after school to make sure he's on grade point. It is a lot and I couldn't imagine working on top of this. I'm blesssd this is my life and that we can financially afford this life.
So true! makes me think of those obnoxious women on facebook who say they are a full time stay at home mom while also a full time work from home career woman who does all the house work and it is so easy and she doesn't see the problem. Almost no one can take care of babies and young children while working and cleaning and cooking and actually be good at their job and attentive as a mom. Maybe there are some unicorns but in general that burns people out crazy fast. people are so full of shit sometimes
OMG Almala your face is gorgeous!!!! Don’t change a thing!!!! The only thing I changed is to have a face lift when I was 48 and one at 58 just to pull up the sagging skin, not to change my bone structure. Never wanted fillers or Botox as this is unnatural. Having a top of the line surgeon lift your face is undetectable but helps with a woman’s self esteem when their skin sags.
59 and never done a single thing to my body. Well, not on purpose 🤣🤣
Ok. The guy may be honest about the girls weight but he is not husband material. I have gained weight with pregnancy and my husband doesn't suddenly find me unattractive. This guy is a nice jerk. Also, if I found someone unattractive, I don't tell them that's why I won't go out with him or break up with him because someone else may find him attractive. I'm not a jerk. It's ok to not be perfectly blunt
When he said "take care of your appearance" I knew he is a Narc. Eff this guy.
Lol, I also agree that it's funny when guys talk about natural beauty like they're so superior. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, like Amala said. It sounds so much like "not like other guys/girls". I also agree that makeup is not in the same wheelhouse as surgery or injections. Saying "please don't cut up and reshape your face" is not an insecurity.
Amala: “ I just have to announce, Taylor is not on the show…”
Me: Nooooooooo
Amala: “today.”
Me: Aight 😮💨 😎
Taylor's married perspective would have been useful in this episode too😢
Omg I was so worried
@@mallorycarpinski1160i recon he would’ve been full supportive of the woman because I’m pretty sure his dynamic with his wife is exactly like this.
Not missing his cringe religious nonsense opinions.
We need him to be not there sometimes to see how much his wholesome takes enrich the show. He's a really cool, chill, reasonable, sane guy. Same for you Amala, you both bring some sanity into the insane world.
I’m a registered nurse, currently expecting our fourth child. Our oldest is 6.5 and I didn’t even last a year of full time work after returning from that mat leave. It was clear to my husband and I that I wanted to be the person that met our child’s need. I’ve never regretted going casual. Sure I lost benefits but I’m the master of my schedule and there’s no shortage of hours. I typically work wknds or nights. I feel great having my career but reassured I’m not the primary earner for our family as my priority is the home.😊
I think to a certain extent, all women who choose their role as a stay at home wife/mother or enter into a partnership with that expectation should definitely consider the man’s finances as that predicts, to a certain extent, a good life for her (their) offspring. Of course, money isn’t everything…. But it buys food, shelter, and certain securities. Now the reasoning behind considering money can definitely get selfish and abusive, but it isn’t always the case. Money is incredibly important.
I know of a woman who was a nurse and then got married and her husband could provide everything needed for her and her children. She always felt compelled to keep up with all her certifications and still worked one night shift a week, I believe, after her kids went to bed. When their kids were still young her husband ( who had never smoked) was diagnosed with lung cancer. He went down quickly and died. She was so glad she always kept her certifications, even though it was kind of a pain and she missed an entire night of sleep a week with young kids.
😢that’s terrible. My husband and I are looking into getting life insurance because of these situations
well that is terrible! I am glad that she had something to fall back on. Also having life insurance for the husband will usually give you enough of a buffer to find a job. Especially if you are educated.
I am leaning towards the woman too. This exchange reflects what an exceptionally poor form of communication text messages are and how people throw people and relationships away with a bunch of dysfunctional assumptions.
Are we not even going to talk about how the girl who got the text about being too fat to date isn't actually fat?!
Tbf I had a negative emotional response to the tiktok screenshots of the mother raising her daughter that way. My mum raised me in a similar way. It was unfair. I had 2 brothers. Both my brothers never had to do chores, never had to help out at home and were able to go out whenever they wanted. I had to stay home and cook, clean do laundry. I wanted to just be a kid and have fun but I wasn't allowed to. I had to be a perfect all rounder- do well in school, train to be a perfect wife... and my brothers could do whatever they wanted. My dream is to be a homemaker but I would NEVER force the same on my child... my child is allowed to be a child not a bride in the making...
I love being a trad wife. Taking care of our home and my husband truly makes me so happy every day. He’s supporting me while I’m in school and once I graduate he will still be the head of our home. I think you can’t have 2 cooks in the kitchen if you know what I mean. I believe in the gender roles because I have personally lived through the shift to being a trad wife. I’m so much happier. So many modern day feminists that I know drag me for it but I see their lives and they definitely don’t seem happy to me. Just my 2 cents 🤷🏽♀️
as long as you have a back up plan if something goodness forbid happened to your husband, I support your decision as a moderate feminist ! one of my guy friends left this world with a widow and 4 kids because of cancer.. its been hard on his wife and now she has to support their family on her own.
Check out Amala being the strong and independent woman who don't need no man in Nashville!
As for the man overreacting to what the girl said about her wanting him to take care of all expenses, I agree he was triggered by something. I think that's due to being somewhat poisoned by consuming too much online content, some or a lot of which might tend to be toxic. I have to check myself often because if I'm listening to too much negativity then it tends to affect my overall attitude.
I can relate to that. Listening to all the redpill podcast turns you angry and bitter and distrusting. Thankfully all it takes for those emotions to go away is to find healthier sources of content to listen to, like Chris Williamson, Louise Perry, Jordan Peterson. Doesn’t take long for the anger to reside
@@awsambdamanspot on bro
So she loses 20 pounds they get married, she gains 20 pounds and the get divorced. He’s a narcissist
I appreciate the voice change when telling the story. Love it!
I had a very successful career in high tech for decades. It was a lot of work - constant travel, crazy hours, conf calls in the middle of the night, etc. One time, my boss expressed surprise that I didn't have a hot meal every night like he did, and recommended I should have the same. I reminded him his wife makes it for him but I AM the wife. If he thought I should have a hot meal every night, I would be happy to leave at 5 pm every day so I could make one. He never brought it up again.
So if you’re the one working the most why wouldn’t your husband make you dinner? Just because you’re the wife doesn’t mean your husband has no responsibility to help you with these things. My husband helps with the meals depending on the situation. We both contribute however I am still the better cook lol. I’m just confused as to why your husband wouldn’t cook dinner for you after a long day of working or Atleast cook together if you’re both working. Do you feel it all falls on you at the end of the day? I’m sorry if so.
Maybe her husband can't cook 😂
@@elettramia6380 In the early years, my husband was working and also had a long commute as I did. Sometimes, he cooked, but his repertoire was limited (grilling, even in winter). Then, I was traveling about 75% of the time and he was cooking for himself or otherwise fending for himself while I traveled. We didn't have kids and, somehow, we got into a mode that worked for us - largely takeout during the week because I was only home a couple of nights and out of town the rest. I never cooked during the week but I went wild on weekends trying lots of different dishes. I liked to cook when I had the time (weekends), but always new things. It was not a traditional situation.
You’re totally right on women having options for a career. Our dad died and my mum became a widowed mother of 4 at 32.
She had always worked as a chef and did shifts on the weekend to top up the income.
School mums were so judgmental and would huddle in their witch coven corner talking about how disgusting she was, now we’d call it slut shaming.
After school one day I remember the most awkward yet best conversations. She finally got the nerve to walk over after hearing a comment and informed them in her words that she was “not a street whore or a single mum I’m widow, my husband was a tree surgeon and slipped to his death and broke his neck on impact killing him outright. You seem to have missed my ring which I can’t bring myself to take off”
Basically, when we were making Father’s Day cards I said that I didn’t have a dad but I wanted to make one for my grandad.
Children will tell you everything they hear and it was assumed that my mum just decided to live a single life.
Sooo many people are ignorant. My uncle on my dads side had his leg amputated after a motorcycle accident when he was 19 and he’d always get comments about parking in a disabled bay (with a pass they clearly didn’t look for) he took great pleasure in asking if they wanted a verbal mouthful or a kick in the face with his false leg.
All of this to say, it’s so fucking satisfying seeing people red with embarrassment after trying to shame people with no clue on what their circumstances are.
Wanting someone to fill a traditional gender role for you and then shaming them for wanting you to fill a traditional gender role for them is WILD lmao 😂
Here's the problem with that guys comment. He needs to grow up. That girl is nowhere *NEAR* fat or "out of shape" number 1. Secondly......just because *HIS* life revolves around being fit.....great for him. Her life might revolve around crocheting but that doesn't mean *HE* has to start buying himself balls of yarn and learning to make sweaters 🙄
*Now LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT.....if she did "grind" and became some acceptable size for him...and he did marry her..WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO when she has a BABY and her body changes and that little pooch isn't as easy to get rid of or maybe not possible to get rid of at all. Dump her? Or just constantly remind her how hideous and unacceptable she is 🤨 He needs to get a grip*
Men want a 50s wife without themselves being a 50s man. Good luck finding that woman. We are out there and gladly want to be trad wives. But you have to play your part too. I’m with a provider and happy to take care of everything else. That’s how it works. He’s happy about it. I’m happy.
Taking care of the kids and the house is the responsibility of both people in the relationship.
It's not "his" children in a marriage. It's "our" children. Just saying. If people have children together in a marriage the children are theirs together. This guys sounds like he's wack, but I just wanted to correct the terminology with the children.
As for the fitness guy...why didn't he just ask her if she'd be willing to get into fitness? 🤷♀️ I mean I got more into even more fitness when I dated certain men and I wanted men that were into fitness as well. Many times people will get into it because of someone they are dating.
Santos in a creep and furries are creepy too. Both could probably use some mental health checks and some therapy. Lol.
We didn’t see her body but she appears to be a healthy weight so the guy was shallow and she dodged a bullet. Imagine his reaction when he finds out what child birth does to a woman’s body.
Thinking that Amala would even consider fixing anything on her face is unthinkable.
She sounds pretty clear. He has unrealistic expectations. If she is staying home with the kids he needs to provide for the household. One of the reasons why I chose not to have kids as I saw myself working full time and doing all housework and all child care. I already work full time and do all housework look after our pets. His contribution is low lawns once a week in summer cooks two meals a week a dog walk in the morning. I do everything else.
The matchmaker took the one conversation and was like … nah you couldn’t pay me enough for this.
Shes not even fat thats the crazy part. If she was bigger I would understand but shes skinny.
Its about working together, even if its splitting roles in the traditional way or sharing them, but you hit the nail on the head saying it wouldnt work without the balance. men like that guy in the first one want the perks of both a 'modern' woman and a 'traditional' woman, with none of the cons of either, they want to give the minimum and be valued while expecting the maximum and not appreciating thier wife, thats if theyre actually wanting to wife anyone up, many want the perks of a wife/relationship without the commitment either. And yeah, it may work for him until it doesnt work for her, she grows unhappy, it poisons the relationship and one leaves, probably her bceause he doesnt want to lose half of his money, or half of the house and kids he never took part in caring for, that being said its not just a male issue, their are women with the same mindset, want the perks of being a trad wife but none of the cons, wants to be a SAHW/M without the responsibilities, you can;t expect him to do 100% of the financial care and also 50% of the home care, that math aint mathing. This lack od appreciation, acknowledgement and balance is toxic.
Shes more in the right than he is but she definitely could’ve said it differently than “someone to cover my expenses and get me what I want” that comes off as entitled princess energy. He should’ve asked her to clarify though and not instantly go to “f you”
I agree. At first I thought she was going to be the issue. He definitely should have asked for clarification before blowing up.
Exactly. Her wording was off for sure. But then he turned into crazy town.
Yup!
she did sound a little sus. However he overshadowed her A LOT.
you hit the nail on the head. That phrasing was an immediate red flag. He reacted poorly, very poorly. But he could be right with how she said it " “someone to cover my expenses and get me what I want”.
he wants a trad wife without having to be a trad husband that's hilarious
It’s just an aesthetic for him lol
The "Matchmaker Girl" I could potentially enjoy that personality and get with her. But, I highly doubt she would accept/want me unless she gets more desperate.
My advice to anyone that goes on a date with someone, and feels they are initially getting along, in this time of heated topics. After you meet up and feel it's good for a 2nd date or more. Other than casually exchanging texts to arrange the next meetup; talk on the phone, talk in person, or don't talk. As, it's highly likely you will mess up something that could have potential, at least initially.
My marriage was unequal. He worked. I worked, went to college full time, cleaned the house and took care of our kids and cooked dinner. Circumstances changed, he didnt work and half azzed the cooking and his part of the cleaning I worked and ran a small business on the side and did some house chores. I filed for divorce.
@hybridthesheriff I'm a white woman, idiot.
oh but when feminists say this yall have an issue. Those situations never work
The woman was 100% correct in her position on this one. I honestly in shock that the guy was delulu enough to think she was a gold digger given the fact that he said he wanted a trad wife. He clearly doesn't know what a Trad wife even is. I guess the foolishness of today's dating market continues another day smh.
I will say, though, that if someone who has a physical deformity or a serious injury from an accident or violence then I am understanding and try to be graceful in those situations.
Men who agree with the man are the same ones saying or will be saying “I was blindsided by her filing divorce”
My wonderful man refuses to let me get filler. We have 3 beautiful children and I’ve mentioned wanting it and he is absolutely in love with my natural beauty. He doesn’t even use Instagram and isn’t flooded with fake pictures. He works all day for our family but has still had his fair share of beautiful women in his past. The fact that he finds me the most beautiful? That’s the biggest blessing. We want to grow old together and look that way. ❤
But why even bring up her weight in that break-up text? Why mention it??
Wouldn't it be easier to just say, "I've had a great time, but I don't think we're compatible" .. it's just unnecessary to call her fat
I was chopping mushrooms and nearly chopped my finger off at that George Santos clip...
It is like painting a room it makes the others look shabby. Once you start changing your looks where do you stop?
Regarding "natural beauty": my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and she has had absolutely 0 cosmetic procedures done and doesn't wear make up unless it's a special occasion. This is absolutely my preference as I have always disliked women who wear tons of makeup or have a lot of "work done" on their bodies or faces, so the insinuation that, as a man, I don't know what that looks like or have been tricked by plastic surgery or "natural looking" makeup is a little insulting if I'm honest. While I'm sure there are men like that out there, many of us know exactly what natural beauty looks like, think our wives and girlfriends look just a beautiful in sweatpants and t shirts than in a ball gown, and don't except or desire you to wear a full face of makeup every day. If women out there have a man in their lives that tell them they look beautiful just the way they are naturally when they wake up in the morning, believe them! The idea that we are lying or ignorant just further perpetuates the insecurities that billion dollar cosmetic and plastic surgery industries thrive on. It annoys me to no end that online creators would insinuate to young women that if a man tells them they are beautiful without makeup that they're just wrong, you aren't beautiful, and you need to spend hundreds of dollars a month on creams and masks and cosmetics and etc etc etc.
❤ the % to the marriage was great! 100-100, 60-140. That is what a good marriage is. Happiness in a marriage is 200%!
My only issue with the little girl with her mom teaching her to be a maid... is that i see a lot of tiktoks of boymoms putting down girls saying yeaching my son to do this and thia so he doesnt care about your daughter. And then the girls are like teaching my daghter to be a maid for your son... like its sad that girls are expected to be maids while the boys are being taught to hate the maid....
I think she's just having a different point of view for her daughter, because everyone says that "we have to be girl bosses and not depend on anyone" (especially men). So she's basically saying "it's okay if you want this life, and it's just as important" because many people dismiss working from home.
But I also think it wasn't the best way to put it, especially in a video where many will want to find any reason to fight
Yeah, that's definitely not the majority of outcomes, girls being taught to be the maid. Not is it the majority, for boymoms teaching their boys to not want another woman besides her. So you shouldn't color the scope of our species on these two conflicting subsets.
Parents should be teaching their children to just be good people and to treat others kindly. Wtf is wrong with people today is beyond me, but it's truly sad. Such a selfish culture we live in.
@@fadevariascoisas Why do men want women depending on them so much? But when they do their called gold diggers. How is it painful to hear a person you don't know doesn't need you romantically to live. I do need a man, and a man doesn't need a woman to survive in everyday life. It's reality. Women aren't offended by men saying they don't need a woman romantically, we could care less.
Happy Friday to Amala, great show debates about dating someone in 2023, Alpha Males, trad wives and etc. Keep up with the good work for your show Amala. That's funny as hell with you doing a high pitched voice and a your normal voice.
My relationship is so unbalanced as far as the roles go. I have a part time job to keep my full time business going and I take care of our animals (we don’t have children) and I do all the cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. it’s exhausting. The house is never fully kept up and it’s overwhelming and I feel like a terrible woman for not being able to do it all. My fiance assures me that he understands it’s too much to keep up with and he works a ton too but it’s all too much.
Ok so then he needs to help you around the house an EQUAL amount if you’re both working a lot. I really think it would help to make a chore calendar that you’re BOTH expecting to help with. Decide what days you do certain chores and who does it that day and just switch chores every week. I hope that helps. And if he refuses then I would say goodbye. Not all partners are keepers just because you’re “comfortable” in a relationship
@@elettramia6380 he helps when he can, he works 10-12 hour shifts, sometimes doubles. He’s a dispatcher, volunteer firefighter and volunteer EMS. He works a lot. We both do. It’s hard to keep everything balanced.
It seems like it has everything to do with the way she worded her wants/needs. “Buy me anything I want”
For the gym guy. He at least had enough respect for her to tell her the truth and what was up. As a fit female, I don’t want a man who isn’t fit either.
Thanks for calling out the BS.
My husband and I married after dating for 5 months. He was a Marine and I was a special education assistant. We had nothing. I got pregnant with our first daughter 2 months after we were married. I had our second when our first want even 2. I stayed home with them and took care of them and the house till my girls both were in preschool. I still take care of the home, work 6.5 hours a day, our kids are 21 and 19 and my husband works usually 9 hours a day and takes care of figuring out our finances. This is a good set up. I don't mind taking our youngest all over the place so, and making sure he has everything he needs during the day for work, but he gives me so much in return. Not to mention, taking care of the finances takes more hours than cleaning the house.
If you are presently in therapy. You are not ready for a relationship.
As a man natural means what i see when i see when i wake up in the a.m. I also don't have social media. Im cool with light make up that accueates what you have.
That guy didn't actually want to be in a relationship. Once she presented herself as exactly what he was looking for, he was just looking for excuses to back out.
Being a traditional wife or mother doesn't mean you can't have other joys it just means that it will be the greatest joy. My most traditional friend wants to be a wife/mother, but she also wants to be a web designer, and that's fine, I want to be a stay at home mum. Notice how you have a choice and how it's more about priorities. And why shouldn't my family be my utmost priority, I think we can all say that it's what gives everyone the most joy, and I will eternally be a mum. You won't be working forever, thank G-d.
That guy is a walking RED FLAG! Goodluck finding a partner buddy
That first dude is definitely wrong and I am willing to bet he's a Tate and Pearl fan. The second guy is crazy because she definitely isn't fat. Something is wrong with him if he isn't attracted to someone he has that strong of a emotional connection with.
I one hundred percent agree with you on the amount of energy you should put into finding a partner.
The people who start accusing others as golddiggers usually have zero gold to dig tbh
My husband fell in love with my face. My real face, no make up, no surgery, nothing. He wouldn't want me to have work done on my face because it wouldn't be me anymore. My face has changed over the 19 years we've been married and he still loves it, more now than ever. It has wrinkles from smiles and worries about children and life, and bags sometimes from staying up late and getting up early. It's beautiful just the way it is. Why would I want to not be me?
Spot on Amala both parties in a relationship must put in roughly equal effort one way or a other
I am a 29 year old woman who has spent my entire adult life focusing on my education and career. And now I'm lonely af, feeling my biological clock start to tick a bit louder. I wish someone had given me the advice that Amala wisely received.
I didn’t get married and start our family until my 30’s, so it’s not too late for you. I would put myself out there in trying to meet people I guess, but don’t overlook red flags just bc u think you’re short on time either.
Just throwing out some wild advice because why not 🤷🏾. Try coming to the Caribbean for a bit. Like Trinidad or Jamaica. We sometimes pretend otherwise but our men LOVE white women. And I don't just mean the poor street vendor types, the good quality men out here with pursue you to the ends of the earth lol, for marriageand family and the whole 9 hards. You'll be able to pretty much pick and chose. But please remember to choose wisely........ (btw, I know how crazy this suggestion sounds lol, but hey only have one life right? Plus the core of the advice is that there are many places around the world where you are an insanely demanded commodity (figure of speech) for some very good men, so why not go where you're a prized treasure and take your pick. Anyway all the best!! 😅)
@@GeraldoHenderson-qh9jqthat doesn’t mean she prefers black men just because your men love white women lol . But I get what you’re saying
I think some generations are blessed for not growing up with social media. I mean, we did grow up with MTV stars that were hot, beautiful and fit we were reading teen magazines that featured beautiful actresses, musicians and models, and the most beautiful models were very in when we were young (early 90s and 2000s) but the trick is - they were all different and unique in ther beauty, or beautiful in their uniqueness. And many models were actually not that perfectly beautiful, when you look better they had some quirks that would be considered imperfections by today's standard but that is what made them unique and very fitting for interesting photographs, they were very picturesque. I just can't understand why would anyone want to look like everyone else. Uniqueness will become a very rare and therefore valuable asset soon, so my advice to all women would be to keep your uniqueness!
i don’t understand the guy who said that girl wasnt at the right weight she looks a perfectly healthy weight what else could you ask for 😭
He probably watches porn
He wants a Eugenia Cooney type girl.
Matchmaker detected a massive problem
The problem with that text chain is that they both sounded disgustingly self-centered.
I'm very grateful for my anti-femenist mother.
I live in New York City, but I think it's a great Idea for you to host a public thing that participants can ask you questions.
I always have said i wanted a nose job and my husband ( then bf ) will just say, "i fell in love with that big nose. Youre beautiful." Lol i stopped wanting the nose job after my husband (then boyfriend) always reminding me of how beautiful i am to him.
Being a parent and seeing the sadness go on in the world, id much prefer people who don't want kids to not have them.
Kids can bring so much love and joy, but also a lot lit of stress. Some people break under that stress and it never turns out well for the kid, either emotionally or physically.
happened to me as a kid. being a parent of 5 broke my mom . she should have stopped at 3
My mother taught me everything I know, but my first lesson was a woman’s place was in the house. She is the queen of the house. As soon as you walk through the door the woman is the boss. PERIOD!