This is one of the best interviews with Stan Tatkin that I've seen,and I've been watching a lot! Fabulous summarising, clarifying, questioning and emphasising by Dr Tori Olds.
What, you mean truth is relative, and mandated tolerance for everyone's "right" to assert their own "truth" doesn't lead to mutually supportive relationships, families and society but rather the breakdown of healthy relationships, civil social and governing structures? Who knew. Thank you so much for sharing this people affirming work!
Just responding to your intro. It’s so true. We went to couples therapy and I was in a fight freeze response so we could really do much. My partner got mad because she thought I wasn’t trying. The therapist didn’t use the opportunity to teach me how to regulate so it didn’t really work out. Now I know more about self regulation so I am more capable of taking care of myself but I think it was a bummer she didn’t seize the chance to teach me in real time because I was where I was and you have to start where you are. We never went back.
Hi @DrToriOlds, thank you for doing these videos, I recently found your channel and I love it, can’t stop watching it! I have a question about this one.. in IFS, every one of us has a core Self that’s kind compassionate connecting, and we just need to unburden our protectors and heal our exiles to tap into that energy. But per Dr Tatkin we are all selfish aggressive etc and need social contracts not to behave that way.. it seems like a contradiction to me, do you see it contradicting each other? If not, how do you reconcile it?
Can you say more? Someone else this week thanked me for not using the word trigger during a talk (even though I hadn’t consciously decided not to), and I was curious about that. Can you explain the mixed feelings about the word trigger? I’m already using it less after this persons comment, but I’m not sure I fully get it…
@@DrToriOlds Hola from TN15 0JJ... Might i point you to Lisa Feldman-Barretts and Barb Finlays labs work please ? FBs How Emotions Are Made the secret life of the brain if youve not you'll like id wager much.
I love so much about Stan Tatkin’s work and, as an evolutionary biologist, I think he’s missing the deeply conserved aspects of primate bonding that stem from parental behavior. Yes, we are threat-focused, combative and competitive. But humans are also hard-wired to be loving, collaborative, communal and caring. If this weren’t true, no infant would survive for more than a few days. When we form long-term relationships with others, we are drawing deeply on this part of our brains.
Yes. I just actually began posting a series on a form of therapy called IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems. In their way of thinking, we truly can have a deep relationship to ourself that is healing and supportive. For me that understanding helps a bit with the aloneness....when we can at least start with learning to not leave OURSELVES alone. Here's the link to the first in the series: ua-cam.com/video/tNA5qTTxFFA/v-deo.html
This is one of the best interviews with Stan Tatkin that I've seen,and I've been watching a lot! Fabulous summarising, clarifying, questioning and emphasising by Dr Tori Olds.
What, you mean truth is relative, and mandated tolerance for everyone's "right" to assert their own "truth" doesn't lead to mutually supportive relationships, families and society but rather the breakdown of healthy relationships, civil social and governing structures? Who knew. Thank you so much for sharing this people affirming work!
I knew I’d find help here, thank you Tori!
Just responding to your intro. It’s so true. We went to couples therapy and I was in a fight freeze response so we could really do much. My partner got mad because she thought I wasn’t trying. The therapist didn’t use the opportunity to teach me how to regulate so it didn’t really work out. Now I know more about self regulation so I am more capable of taking care of myself but I think it was a bummer she didn’t seize the chance to teach me in real time because I was where I was and you have to start where you are. We never went back.
SOOO helpful and clear!
Glad it was helpful! :)
Great insights Tori. Thank you.
Dr Olds, I’d love to see you interview sometime others like this, and also some more of your own vids. You teach and share so well. Thank you.
I needed this
Hi @DrToriOlds, thank you for doing these videos, I recently found your channel and I love it, can’t stop watching it!
I have a question about this one.. in IFS, every one of us has a core Self that’s kind compassionate connecting, and we just need to unburden our protectors and heal our exiles to tap into that energy. But per Dr Tatkin we are all selfish aggressive etc and need social contracts not to behave that way.. it seems like a contradiction to me, do you see it contradicting each other? If not, how do you reconcile it?
Great content!!
I love Stan Tatkin! He needs a world stage, eh.
I agree!!! :)
Amazing❤️💙
Dr Olds thanks for posting. Maybe not use the word trigger given we pre act even though it seems we react ?
Can you say more? Someone else this week thanked me for not using the word trigger during a talk (even though I hadn’t consciously decided not to), and I was curious about that. Can you explain the mixed feelings about the word trigger? I’m already using it less after this persons comment, but I’m not sure I fully get it…
@@DrToriOlds Hola from TN15 0JJ... Might i point you to Lisa Feldman-Barretts and Barb Finlays labs work please ? FBs How Emotions Are Made the secret life of the brain if youve not you'll like id wager much.
I love so much about Stan Tatkin’s work and, as an evolutionary biologist, I think he’s missing the deeply conserved aspects of primate bonding that stem from parental behavior. Yes, we are threat-focused, combative and competitive. But humans are also hard-wired to be loving, collaborative, communal and caring. If this weren’t true, no infant would survive for more than a few days. When we form long-term relationships with others, we are drawing deeply on this part of our brains.
Read his books. Everything he teaches can’t be compressed into 16 minutes…
Can you do a video for people who are alone aka not in a relationship? I feel extremely alone
Yes. I just actually began posting a series on a form of therapy called IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems. In their way of thinking, we truly can have a deep relationship to ourself that is healing and supportive. For me that understanding helps a bit with the aloneness....when we can at least start with learning to not leave OURSELVES alone. Here's the link to the first in the series: ua-cam.com/video/tNA5qTTxFFA/v-deo.html
@@DrToriOlds Thank you very much!!!
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