Star Wars Pick Up Lines Don't Work. Kermet Apio - Full Special
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
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"You can't say wrong stuff and blame me."😂
For all the deaf viewers?
That should be our President Trump's quote
love from Seattle! (PS Kermit, if you read this, You did a gig at my highschool 18 years ago...and its still one of the best memories from my senior year.
"I used to eat breakfast in my twenties, but I can't stay up that late anymore."
I can and do haha
Jason Klotz
I’m sorry Jason but I must add:
I used to eat breakfast in my 20s I still do ,
but I used to....too.
@@kingsxkids ok Mitch
L
This is pure gold! Dry Bar Comedy is the best thing that happened to stand up on youtube lately!
Agreed
Watch Cody ko
Agreed.
Amen
Absolutely
The bras off we don't leave the house😂😂😂.... Too true! Funny show👍
It's the best thing ever when you can quote Star Wars in a relevant context. One of my greatest achievements in life was being able to quote Luke Skywalker:
Me, at work, standing near the front desk looking perplexed: " :/ "
Admin assistant: "Can I help you with anything?"
Me: "Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!"
Admin assistant: "..." (blinks a couple of times)
Admin assistant: "what...?"
Coincidentally, I'm still single.
Teleporting is a thing in Star Wars?
@@Name-ps9fx It is if you want to leave that particular rock.
@@Name-ps9fx /woooosh
The Madrummer
LOL, yes I recognized the dialogue between 3PO and Luke...but only just realized the “or teleport me off this rock.”
I know the other two suggestions-“alter time, speed up the harvest”-were hyperbole on Luke’s part, but just wanted to find out if teleporting was, in fact, a thing in SW.
jimmyboy131 hahaha that’s awesome ! Ok so I don’t wanna start any conflict here but I’m prob. The only person who hasn’t seen any Star Wars movies .. I said I’d try and watch them all one day but idk .. I’m 4 decades old and have missed out haha !
Rewinding the tape with your pinky is the over-40s gang sign.........oh my gosh! HahaaHAAhaaa! 😂 ...Don't make me bust out my pencil yo... HILARIOUS
We used to actually rewind our cassettes with a pencil to save the batteries. I'm from India and back in the 70s and 80s electricity was still scarce. If we had a party and there was a power cut, they'd be two or three guys furiously spinning the cassettes with pencils to keep the music going. Lol.
When I was in my 50's I pulled a muscle in my back, twice. I was POURING A CUP OF COFFEE STANDING UP!
Being pulled over by a min-van is bad, but I got pulled over by two cops on bicycles. Got stuck at a light and they caught up to me.
Don't feel too bad...I remember years ago working downtown on the 10th floor of a building and watching 6 people driving cars get pulled over and ticketed BY A COP ON A HORSE. There was a one way street that had restricted hours for turning on and people never followed the rules. So two cops on horseback worked the corner and ticketed t people in about 45 minutes lol...at least you didn't get that!
😂😂😂
He is hilarious. I LOVE the 40 and over jokes. I am 62 and have to do the leg lift to get into the car..I didn't know others had the same problem. I still have cassettes.(use cassette recorder to record things that I have to memorize)
"I've had screensaver fish die. How does that happen? "
I'm definitely under thirty, but every time dry bar comedians make some joke about something pre-1990, I know what they're talking about. I have my parents to thank for that. :D
Someone told me dry bar comedy is clean comedy the other day. I had no idea!!! I've been watching specials for months and never even noticed. These guys are good, and just also happen to be clean comedians
I really love this channel! Thank you Kermet and Dry Bar Comedy for a really great set!
I remember making ashtrays in art class out of ASBESTOS.
Alan Macphail word ! Me too haha
Those WERE the good old days.
Don't forget to paint it with lead-based paint!
And it keeps getting better XD
How.. that's not safe :(
" I'm going to fart on your neck" sounds like something my three boys would threaten each other with. So funny.
I live in Hawaii, and I get asked all the time when I’m gonna move back to the states🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
Same here in Alaska. We are our own countries according to the other 48. Lol
So dumb 😂
Sorry from all my fellow "mainlanders" for asking such an uninformed question... So are you gonna visit the US some point?
😉
@@polycatmagic1236 it's funny; in Hawaii you all are "the mainland" and in Alaska, we call you "the lower 48". 😜
I'm from AK n yall goofy. Who cares!
I'm from California and am always told to leave. 😊
Ahhhh, nice, funny, clean comedy! Nothing like it!😊
OMG this was a tough room - Kermet had me crying with laughter!
Wow! Kermit Apio. I used to watch this guy at Swannies Comedy Underground back when he had hair 😂 Good set Kermit, you haven't lost a step Brother!
I'm from Hawaii. I'd like to stay in this country.
don't ever leave *looks around nervously
This guy is hilarious.i'm glad i stumbled upon this. He's got me on the floor laughing....
I did not know that Pokemon had a sense of humor
Or you know speak English
I'm 35, I understood all these jokes. I remember the phone at my grandma's farm being a shared line with the neighbors.
lol I'm twelve and I did too
@Al Gee pencils just didn't quite so it.
My parents had a rotary phone. Hated people with zeros in their number.
You're 35 and remember a shared line? Even here in Canada those went the way of the dino way before you were born. Where the hell do you live, some 3rd world country?
""Party Lines" is an etiquette film for a long-gone part of rural life: the party line. Shared/group telephone subscriptions were an integral part of American culture until they were phased out primarily between the 1950s and 1970s." So yeah.. couldn't have been in the US, or you are lying.
@@markjohnson7887 you can call me a liar if you want but it's true. I live in Minnesota in the US. The Midwest is pretty far behind the times. Especially is small farming towns.
Dry Bar is the not only the best thing that has happened to You Tube, it’s the best thing since Sliced Bread. Thanks Kermy.
This dude is now one of my faves -probably cuz im drunk and I'm about to turn 49 and can relate to EVERY thing he says... except for one thing at the end: In the state of Maryland you can get a ticket for taking too long to find your license and/or registration. I say and/or cuz yes...there are 3 tickets you can get for one,the other and both. Welcome to Maryland, what's in your wallet? If you are caught driving on a suspended license you'll get a ticket for that, and one for possession of a suspended license and one for... driving while license is suspended while in possession of a suspended license.
Land of the free? How about land of the fee, home of the slave. These authoritarian systems need to be torn down to the foundations.
Remy Lebeau “Torn down to the foundations” requires a new Constitution, govt, and flag.
Are you ready to burn the US flag yet?
@@Name-ps9fx I didn't say redo the foundation, but the gov't should be abolished because they are all puppets for the criminal elite. Get rid of our fiat, draw and quarter everyone from the federal reserve, and then we might have a good chance at freedom.
Remy Lebeau
That’s funny, your post did say “...torn down to the foundations.”
@@Name-ps9fx I think they call that "walking it back." Probably just another keyboard warrior.
I made an ash tray for my Mormon parents in school sometime around 1992 😆
I'm over 40 and I approve this.
im under 40 and i approve this.
great, we got everyone on earth covered
I bless you after you sneeze and I smile when you fall over.
💛 the over 40 gang sign
@@tiffanyvalencia8415: LOL
What about the exactly 40s
Ha, Ha! Ashtrays in School. We did them at Vacation Bible School!
Thats hardcore
I used to make an ashtray out of clay in the first grade. ☺️
It's great hearing stories of cassette tape song searching! Yet at age 31, it's still makes a man roll on the floor laughing my eyes out! Thank you for the memories!
Should have kept that Jedi robe handy, brother...
The irony is he had to throw it out because of all the handys.
Oh my gosh this guy made me laugh out loud so many times. The bras off! His hand motions sell so much; can't even relay here. Just watch him. I'd totally go see him in person.
Saw this guy open for Brian Regan, he's great.
Steve West, right?! Saw him twice open for Brian. Perfect pairing! He also has mad musical skills (Hawaiian music, oddly enough 😉)!!
Oh wow that would have been a great show! They're both so brilliant.
Mr. Apio, your show is greatly appreciated. Our family could not stop laughing. Thank you for your show!
I wonder if his wife calls him kermie
Or if their garbage can yells at them.
I reckon he calls her Miss Piggy at certain points.
LOL! That's Gold
Omg I'm dying
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh my god this guy is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing
Skywalker over here, thinks the frog is funny!
@@markfoster1520 well he's a lot funnier than you are seeing he's famous and your not
I'm in my 30's but got the jokes and loved this! he's hilarious!
“Walk away in a jedi rob,” I can see that.😁
2:27 is so funny to me, because even the moon is looking at him like "😏" at that little cheesy pick up line. This guy's timing is better than he realizes 😄
I haven't even seen clips of this guy, and now there is a full standup?
Right!!!!!. I'm on here religiously and never seen this
But he's great isn't he?
I feel for you man - It's not easy being green.
Elmo is giggling on the floor!
i actually cried laughing multiple times, this guy is hilarious
Talking about the Sony Walkman, I remember when it was cool to have a transistor radio. And I learned "keyboarding" on a manual typewriter. And when I was a kid, tape recorders were reel-to-reel because cassettes hadn't been invented yet. And we listened to music by playing vinyl 45 rpm disks on a record player. And you had to "take turns" with your neighbors using the 4-party telephone line. And we hung our wet laundry on the clothesline with clothespins, and we also had to iron those clothes because there wasn't such a thing as "Permapress." And our TV was only black & white, because color TV's were new and very expensive. And hula hoops were the "new" rage, with adults trying to master them. And there was censorship on TV with G-rated content. Maybe that's why the kids are so different today...no censorship, no morality, "anything goes." That's what they see on TV. We saw Ozzie & Harriet, Father Knows Best, and Leave It To Beaver. The world has certainly changed for the worse as far as family values go.
Absolutely! More fun because of the suspense.
I remember learning to type on an old typewriter in ninth grade. LOL! It came in handy later on.
@@Ben_Dover753 I was born in Trenton, NJ. I lived across the Delaware River on the PA side, but my mother worked in Trenton. In K-3, there were black & white kids in my Trenton school. I never thought anything about it. Then a black family tried to move into my Levittown, PA, neighborhood, and someone burned a cross in their yard. They never quite moved in and were suddenly gone. It was a very mean thing to do. My new stepdad got transferred to Mobile, AL, in 1968 while George Wallace was governor. There was still segregation with only token integration. We were only there for a year. Then my stepdad was transferred to the SF Bay Area, CA. I married an older man whose daughters intermarried with black and native American men. We were all happy, and the kids are beautiful. See past the obvious differences and enjoy the cultural diversity.
Kostantinos Kanelopoulos You must be a lot of fun at parties. 😝
@wytwabit the shows with submissive Stepford wives with no opinions, wants or preferences of their own, obediently staying home so the men could have the jobs, getting by on tranquilizers.
The era when "colored folk knew their place" and didn't try to get good paying jobs or go to college.
No thank you.
Did anyone else melt old wax crayons onto wine bottles to make candle holders?
erm .... no you spaz we melted the bottom of the candle and wedged it in :/
I'm Jay We did both SPAZ.
I'm 43 years old and yes I remember making clay ashtray when I was young. it ended up being a coins dish
OMG I'm 5 min in and so glad I clicked. He's freakin fuuuuuny!
Jake Lecroy
I made it 10 minutes in, then had to run to the bathroom or else find a really big towel, real quick! Haven’t laughed this hard since getting divorced!
@@Name-ps9fx - Congratulations on losing all that weight! (Divorce)
@@kathcasey2090 that got you your 1st like lol :)
Loved this! (And yes, I'm over 40. I'll explain for a very low cost). I never had a preteen daughter. Had a son. When I was a preteen daughter my mother, when she'd visited London (we're Swedish), bought me a sign to put on the wall "Nobody understands me".
Laughing so hard I'm crying! He is good!! 😂🤣😂
Kermit is very funny! He put a smile on my face! Thank you!
So glad to find some clean comedy! 😅
I've come to the conclusion the over 40 joke also applies if your poor.
My son is named Luke and we still use the "Luke, I am your father" joke on him. Yes, he loves star wars. Fave character? Darth vader and robots.
one of these days he might tell you "you're saying it wrong!" since Darth Vader never says "Luke" in that line. ;)
@@jeremyhartley9559 dang bro you just fact checked his fatherhood
The "fart on your neck" part got me laugh so hard tears running down my neck while farting. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Pretty sure I gain at least one ab pack now...
Man's hilarious!!! 👍👍👍👍👍
This guy shows moments of brilliance.
Yea he has his ages mixed up. Im 38 and had a walkman and a old gameboy. And we had phones on the walls and tables. And winded up cassettes with pencils.
your mum was a scrooge thats all
Winded?
This is genuinely funny! Surprised there aren't more views. This one deserves and will reach the 1M+ level for sure!
@Dry Bar Comedy
Thank you for uploading this delightful video.
YOU are providing an ESSENTIAL SERVICE for
all socially responsible people who chose to
minimize their non-essential direct personal
contacts, even though it is no longer
mandatory. These shows help KEEP US SANE.
God bless, be strong and remain hopeful.
Roger J. Sledz, Staten Island ( NYC ) 10/4/2020
👍☺️🇺🇸🗽
You almost killed me with the fart on your neck joke I couldn't catch my breath LOL
In College I had a Hawaiian Professor that was ALWAYS late!
"Grover and Kermit Jr." 🤣
I'm 29. Grew up poor. I knew cassette tapes. The rich ppl had the electronic rewind devices. Lazy 40 year olds telling me I have no idea. I remember having to drag petrol cans to start a generator just to watch 3 hours of TV.
Y'all could afford a generator?!
Did you stay rural Big Island?
Love listening to dry bar comedy. I do it every day at work now
I will just say that I'm under 30 and understand the cassette tape references
Omg, I think I broke a rib. "Get your goggles and a turtleneck we are doing this."
We made ashtrays in second grade, and Christmas angels in fourth grade. For the angels we used FIBERGLASS INSULATION. The entire class itched for weeks. 😂
😹 As an almost 40, the over 40 gang sign made me LOL! hahahahaha
I'm 25 but was raised by grandparents, so every "over 40" joke was not lost on me. Especially the cassette tapes and manual car windows.
"The smaller the town the more I look Arab"
He um, already said that one 😂😂😂
Absolutely hilarious
We used to rewind cassettes with a pencil... 🤣. We became experts
Oh yeah. Saves 🔋 battery a lot.
I'd love to hear you do a bit about rewinding DVDs. I fooled my wife into that once. That's when Blockbuster was still around. Then she punched me in the arm. heh
I'm over forty, and remember a lot of what he said. Ahh the dark ages… 😁 This guy is hilarious! Kermit means frog in America, Mom! 😆
My parents are 82 and 83. The Silent Generation. I'm the youngest of 5...I'm 45 (Gen X) years old. My parents STILL have a wall phone and my millennial son and daughter grew up seeing the Wall Phone (at their grandparents), The Cordless phone (at their own home with 2 bases AND caller ID) and eventually the cell phone. Imagine me jogging at age 19 with the CD Walkman! I gave up!Not on the jogging...but on that skipping a## Walkman! Amazing times!
Great comedian. He kept me from doing chores because I wanted to watch his body language too...lol.
I had an walkman and I'm under 30, but i was poor. We had a bunch of VHS tapes, Lion King was the most played one. So nostalgic! Loved his show!
I'm 33, and I had a LOT of flashbacks to my childhood. Kermit cracked me up!
When the canadian bacon falls off the tree, you gotta pick it up before the 3 second rule applies!
EXCELLENT! Bring him back! : )
Read title
I could've told my mans that
listen to rest of show.
any man on earth couldve told you the rest
"Aww, no way, I'm getting busted by a family of five? No way." Gives a whole new meaning to Hawaii FIVE Oh
Awesomeness! This guy is hilarious funny! 👍🏼😂🤣
Man this guys jokes are so nice, cool, clam and collected
Far and away the best stand up I've EVER EVER HEARD HILARIOUS!!! STAR WARS!!!!
One of the best sets I have watched in a long time.
When he gets to the "teenage daughter" section I about died!!!! I'm crying laughing, and crying because that's my life!!!!!
Canadian Hawaiian pizza is a pizza topped with tomato sauce, cheese, pineapple, and ham. 49 years old myself, lmao, the memories.
... and it’s gross.
I thought only my wife woke up mad at what I had done in a dream. It's funny at first, but when it's day 3 and she is still not speaking to you, it stops being so funny.
His gym is a delicious Mexican restaurant where he works out his jaw muscles because he needs those for work.💪🏿
Saw this guy live at Medora Musical 2020 last night, he was hilarious
I had a walk man and a members only jacket-maroon!! Reel up with a pencil!!!! To funny!!
9:30 pm is the new midnight 😂
His wife sounds like a real battle axe...
Norm!
Ha, only in her dreams!!
Or so the Germans would have us believe.
Wait until you get about 67. A sneeze means major trauma and pain lol.
I'm 35, and understand every old-school reference, because my family was extra-poor... We still had the long-cord wall phone on 9/11
Should I be worried that I am 31 but still felt all of the "over 40" jokes on a deep spiritual level? (maybe cassettes went out of style earlier in the US, but I remember not only rewinding but also hacking cassettes with a piece of tissue to tape over them).
Judith B - Well, honestly, 40 is when most start getting spiritual.
More and more, you'll hear something pop or crack, and say, "Oh God."
I'll see myself out...
😁
hacking LOL nothing to hack, just cut it away and tape it back together with selotape
I broke ribs clearing my throat while making morning coffee.
I laughed so hard this routine literally almost killed me. Unexpected laughs nearly blew my head right off! So I posted it to see how many of my friends would survive it too!
their deaths will be called corona virus death
This man is brilliant!!
I love the original stuff the ADD book club.
Hawaii Five-O
has one native
and he weighs 700 pounds.
Magnum PI is one of the best shows on television.
I’m surprised they found someone to fill Tom Selleck’s shoes so well
the quotes yeeeess dude
"walk away in your jedi robes" 🤣
as a 24 year old agoraphobe I guess I'm actually 40
Same here but over 30. Thank God for therapy.
66 here.
grow up, all of you idiots
Literally had me in tears!!! Great show!!
8 hours in a row. 🤣👍🏾. You work way more than that writing and rehearsing but still great work if you can get it!!