I see that my comments that I made about bpd has upset people. My apologies for being insensitive to the people that live with the disorder and manage it properly. Unfortunately, my own personal experiences and experiences of friends and family with those with bpd have been terrible. My comments come from a place of hurt and personal experience, but i never clarify that or explain so my comments generalized those who suffer with bpd and manage it with those who dont. That wasn't my intention, but it was the result, so again, i do apologize. EDIT - while i am sorry for my comment regarding bpd I will not condone trivializing or excusing abuse of any kind in the comments mental disorders or not. If you or someone you know is being abused by anyone please call emergency services or a domestic violence hotline. 1.800.799.7233 or text "start" to 88788 (australia 1800737732)
Thank you for addressing and giving context to the statement, much appreciated! I think when anyone is mentally ill, how they act is what’s most important, their mental issues are never an excuse to be abusive to others. It sucks to see anyone in the position where they’re a victim of an unregulated person’s behavior or being abused in any way. Hoping for the best out of such an awful situation, and that there may be justice 🙏
thank you for apologizing. i was abused by someone with BPD, but i also have many wonderful friends with the disorder. it's all about the person's self awareness and their drive to improve for themselves and others.
Man I’m so sad I watched his videos he made like 5 years ago then I stopped watching after a while but I wasn’t expecting to see his name on this channel…especially the way he’s being absolutely flamed.
When he said “I’m gonna bash your head in against the wall with a brick” it genuinely gave me chills. What a terrifying thing to hear from your partner.
My chest went tight when I heard him say that. I dare not imagine how Alice felt in that moment, let alone for nearly a year. She’s strong as hell for enduring that and coming out against Alex despite his following. Good for her.
Reminds me of what these two kids said to me in middle school when we were all assigned a table together. They said they wish they could hit my head with a brick. Years later in hs me and one of the girls got put in a special ed class together as a teachers assistance and suddenly we were “friends” and she was the perfect little angel. It’s funny how people can put on a fake face when there’s such evil going on behind.
I have BPD. That's not an excuse to act like that. One of the biggest factors is after you do something wrong, you feel extreme regret and shame for doing that. I don't think he does.
More of a dig on reddit than Ken but why does abuse automatically equal bpd. I usually pick up on bpd traits and Alex does not seem to have it in the slightest, in my eyes. He’s just a piece of shit with a high ego, period.
Same. This has to be one of the worst chase of the subtype where it's 50% BPD and 50% narcissism i have ever seen. PLUS there is a big difference between people who have BPD and don't go to therapy and people that have BPD and go to therapy. All and all, it hurt.
"Why not leave?" You saw the video of her trying to leave. You heard his threats to harm her. You heard the voice call of him being sorry and getting pity from her. It's hard for someone to leave if they truly do love the person- the abuser will use that against the victim and manipulate them until they give them another chance. I used to think the same thing until I lived it.
@@geekygoobs Some people who never been in that situation don't really see the full picture of all the possibilities. Some people aren't "intuitive" to think of reasons why sadly. Don't mean this as an insult but they seem more of "sensors" - getting the why's from experience and if they or someone close haven't been through it they don't get it
I still love them, it's just unless you really live through it, you just don't know HOW you'd truly deal with it. Yea, ofc when you're outside you're begging the victim to leave, you find it easy because you aren't the one involved with all the invested feelings, issues, whatever else there actually is. The hard reality of this scenario is you just DONT KNOW what its like until you somehow find yourself in it.
Once you live through it you understand. I lived it and was living with ny abuser and had no job or family i could stay with at the time so couldn't leave
Worked with narcissists, sociopaths, people with ASPD, etc. and it's a common tactic they employ to gain sympathy. I've seen them be angry one moment then suddenly cry as if on cue then stop crying entirely, voice steady, vacant expression, especially when called out. We would interview them, they would start crying then when we presented them with evidence, they would suddenly stop and be entirely different person altogether. Some of them have practiced it for years, it's easy for them to use as a trump card.
i think ken meant alex was trying to redeem himself, just to then get back together and then be manipulative and abusive again as thats the cycle people like this create
I mean in fairness i have BPD and i do behave like this BUT It came with a tidal wave of regret later and i know I'm not mentally well enough to be in a relationship
@@Lestatgroupie😬 They just said they realize they're not well enough to be in a relationship. It seems more like they're just explaining as someone with BPD that others with this might also have similar reactions. No need to say something this disgusting to someone who is sharing how people with BPD do have the possibility to get this bad.
Kinda sucks tbh, I knew he wasn’t all that good of a guy but this? Wasn’t much of a subscriber before but now I am not gonna be able to watch. Wonder what his YT buddies will do. Also, holy shit, literally caught in 4K. The most receipts and evidence EVER on a creator. She actually has merits and Alex will not be able to defend this shit.
@@D44RK_Iced_Yogs I'm curious what he's gonna come out with after all of this and his buddies. Bc there really isn't a way to possibly spin this in a less gross light.
I appreciate Ken correcting his statement on BPD. Uncontrolled/untreated BPD is very difficult to live with, but a lot of people suffering from BPD are still wonderful people.
@@Lestatgroupie Get educated before you go spouting off. I have BPD too and have it managed. Its about taking accountability and getting help before it escalates. People like you who go around generalizing mental health issues to stereotypes or the worst case scenario is why people are scared to accept their diagnosis and get help.
In the document, she talks about how he held her in a headlock, and when Alice tries to get away, he chases her. It did get physical, and if she started yelling at him he would have likely gotten MORE physical
My brother started doing this to me. It was not fun. He seemed to think that if he only did it a little, it wasn't assault. Me brushing past him on my way out the hallway was assault according to him, but he making to wrap his hands around my throat and grab me was totally fine. It was scary.
@@rosesweetcharlotteMy younger brother and cousin started doing this when they started getting bigger than me. In a playful way, but very hard. They would do it to one another too. Apparently people were teaching them, which is concerning looking back. Anyway, idk how old you are, but I showed adults and then them the bruises on my neck and told them I would tell mandated reporters it was them choking me when asked if they didn't stop. They realized and they stopped doing it to me and each other.
Literally the most evidence and such I’ve seen from allegations like this. It’s usually a he said she said but it’s just a he said with this situation.
This is definitely one of those situations where Ken and Dane need a Mary PowerPoint (if she was up for it). There are a lot of things that get glossed over or skipped that bring a lot of understanding to the situation. What Alice went through is horrific and I truly hope she is okay and that she knows the majority of the public are on her side.
There's a lovely UA-camr called Swoop who tackles issues like these in her videos and whenever she does, she always has this today: "It's not drama, it's dangerous."
the crying is so manipulative in this voice call. its 5% awareness, 95% guilt tripping and trying to get his way to go RIIIGHT back to verbally abusing her in a day or two.
This situation is absolutely vile . And while alice has admitted her behaviour wasnt exactly exemplary , no person should have to put up with any form of mental or physical abuse . Especially from a loved one or family member
Eh… Abusive relationships make you act out of fight or flight mode. Sometimes you seem ugly because you are forced to be by means of survival. It is not shocking to see ugliness on both sides, that is common within abusive situations. Im not excusing her behavior but she likely became that way as a response to his behaviors, a wall was put up so she does not get as hurt.
Wasn't attacking her . I was just stating that she admitted her own responsibility, which understandably was in response to what she was exposed to at the time.
People always forget this and blame the victim for “not knowing who it was you’re marrying” or “missing the signs”. Sometimes there ARE no signs, they’ll show their true colors after they know they’ve got you trapped.
@@sarahdarling2441 and then even after they show their true selves... they'll spend a vast amount of energy apologizing and 'making it up to you' and promising never again and that 'wasn't really them'. convincing you that the abuser isn't actually who they REALLY are.
Context doesn’t really matter when your partner is threatening to bash your brains in. Like y’all. Please. Stop trying to exercise neutrality when appraising a monster.
With him turning on his camera just to yell at her makes sense though. As an abuser they have this sense of superiority and he never believes she would record him. He wanted her to see how mad he was and wanted the upper hand. Thanks for covering this. Alice needs loads of support and this guy definitely needs kicked off all platforms
if it looks 'mild' from the outside I can assure you when you're on the receiving end of that it is the most confusing, frustrating and crushing place to be with someone you thought cared about you.
My partner developed BPD after she had lost her mom to murder. It is absolutely undoubtedly a struggle and we have moments where we are screaming at each other. We have NEVER told each other to k¥$ or to self harm. It is not ok and there is no excuse for telling someone these things.
As a fella with BPD I can say it takes the maturity of auditing your emotions before expressing them. This requires me to hold off on judgment of a situation until all perspectives are covered. A man who lets his anger consume him in his relationship is somebody that needs to be left by themselves until correct actions can be taught. I learned all I know on this from Stoicism and use it to manage my life to this day
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s such a perfect way to put it “auditing your emotions before expressing them”. If I feel a flare up from a triggering situation I will express my need to step away, collect myself, assess my feelings, and then come back when I can calmly and healthily articulate. As someone with treated BPD, I will look into Stoicism. It sounds like it would be a beneficial addition to the ‘recovery process’ (for lack of a better term).
I know it's not the same but my brother has autism and used to prone to meltdowns (I don't know what the PC word is) and after he has his meltdown he would always apologise to people. He says my autism doesn't excuse my actions. He's 30 now and has come a long way
@@___Lyric___ a great compilation you can find here on UA-cam is Kratos reading "on anger" by Seneca. I feel the dichotomy between having Kratos of all people read a treatise on proper regulation of all anger related things is a literal *chef's kiss*
About BPD and relationships, I'd add that if you have ways to treat/manage the symptoms, you can have relationships with someone with BPD. But if you don't use them and pass the blame on everyone around, you are toxic and should be alone.
Thanks for saying this. I have bpd, been working hard on myself my whole life and today have a husband, 2 kids and a steady job. Ken generalizing hurt my butt.
I also have BPD and Ken really hurt me with this....sounded like he was saying we don't deserve to be loved. It is work, but I really do try and I hold myself accountable when I get out of control.
Thank you for your kinds words towards mental disorders. I have BP. I've put alot of hard work into my mental health and I'm happy to say I'll be celebrating my 15yr anniversary with my bf in a month.
it sucks that BPD requires specialized, EXPENSIVE therapy... like bruh we're already miserable and now it costs even MORE just to BARELY function 😭 having to treat your own BPD by yourself bc health professionals care more about money, kinda sucks. there's a reason why the successful self inflicted mortality rate is 10% of all people diagnosed with BPD. and its not an uncommon disorder by any means, so that's a LOT of people 😔
Ken you are so right about the fact Alice has got to prove this. My ex was abusive in very similar ways to Alex and because he makes sure his public image is pretty much squeaky clean no one believed that he had hurt me. He assaulted me 5 times and I had to call the police (I’m in the uk) and still his friends believe that I’m the crazy ex. Not that he’s abusive. Thankyou for covering this Ken. Alice deserves all the support.
I had the same experience with my ex husband…he was a good little church boy so how could he do any wrong 😒 we still have a couple mutuals and they’re finally starting to say how they can see what I was saying after the news broke we were divorcing….its been 3 years since the divorce and 4 since separating.
Sorry to hear you experience, It resembles the one I had with my ex. He would make such a big deal about putting a facade on around others that when I tried to tell my side, everyone saw me as the crazy ex. I hope you are doing better now that you are free of your ex❤
@@soul-ringgames8835 thank you. Honestly all that bothers me is that he doesn’t do it to anyone else but he probably will. The best revenge is living well and all that. I appreciate the support though ☺️
As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I concur it's extremely hard to be in a relationship without serious therapy. I'm married and everyday is a struggle, but I'm so thankful he's sticking by me.
Im so happy your husband is sticking by you! I’m in a similar boat, my partner has stuck with me through ups and downs for 6 years, even before I was diagnosed with BPD. Everyday feels like a new struggle but behavioral therapy has helped me so much.
Exceptions aren’t the rule, so I also think that it’s generally not worth engaging in a relationship with someone with BPD. I’ve also had one - it went sour after I couldn’t handle the emotional baggage for the both of us. People need to work on themselves before entering relationships with others. Your husband has to struggle with you and share your burdens, and it’s fair not to encourage that in my opinion.
@@JoeyClover it’s weird that you found two people who are getting help and in successful relationships and needed to tell them that since it didn’t work for you they’re irresponsible for sharing their story? Make your own comment thread.
@@smaugkat yea, this disorder is complicated and it’s not the same for everyone who suffers it. That’s why generalizations are hurtful for people within the umbrella of this condition.
@@Meggibsonnotmel I myself have Quiet BPD and reading a comment like this "I also think that it’s generally not worth engaging in a relationship with someone with BPD" somehow broke my heart.
As someone who has been diagnosed with bpd, it to me would never excuse the type of behaviour Alex has shown. Relationships with bpd don’t always have to be toxic as long as your doing the work with mental health professionals to stay on top of your symptoms. As you can go into remission if you put in the work. Bpd is widely misunderstood by most people which is fine but it’s not as scary as it seems and most with bpd are very kind and loving people.
Yes you are allowed to feel whatever you want but your behavior is always your responsibility no matter what. If you’re symptoms are not under control don’t date people. A random person is not a trained health specialist and you can’t put that on someone else to deal with.
My younger sister has BPD and she would never ever treat someone like that, so yeah I absolutely agree you can't use it as an excuse for such awful/ evil behavior. The thing with my sister is that she is also working on herself and how she interacts with people and taking responsibility for her behavior...not everyone does this and just likes to blame any conditions they have as a excuse for bad behavior.
same here i also have bpd and started showing aggressive behavior when i was 14. immediately started going to therapie and now at the age of 21 i am almost completely symptom free. he should seriously get help and nobody should use bpd as an excuse for this type of behavior
Dane seems to be a bit more sympathetic. I appreciate them covering this, but Ken’s tone seems very dismissive and it seems like he’s downplaying it quite a bit. He probably just misspoke, these videos don’t seem like they have effort behind them so it’s not like he thought too much about what he said. Still, saying it’s ‘mild’ felt really strange to me. “Why not leave?” “You’re setting yourself up by getting with somebody with BPD” “It’s very mild, it’s not physical” this whole video is off.
I agree...Ken really missed the mark here... Not fair to DV survivours, nor BPD sufferers, I have BPD and what he said was just....wrong, on so many levels.. he has a bad experience with someone who has BPD and then everyone gets thrown into that? nah, not fair at all. Imagine having a bad experience with a POC and saying "all POC are like this" or someone of a certain gender "all men/women are like this" etc...wouldn't go down well... so why group up people with BPD? again, I feel bad that he's bad a bad experience with someone who has it, but most of us are really loving, caring and kind people, we feel our emotions stronger than most people, a lot of us are very caring and loving and just want to feel safe and happy and loved.. yes, there's people with BPD who are toxic or violent, but most people with BPD aren't violent, at least to my knowledge...I have never been that way myself and don't want to be lumped in with people like that.
Glad people agree. So many people with bpd are VICTIMS of DV because abuse is all we have ever known (which should be obvious considering bpd is a TRAUMA related illness)
Even though context is missing, just the way he talks to her and puts her down is awful. He’s disgusting 😞 Poor Alice, my heart goes out to her, it’s not easy to heal after being talked to like that constantly.
Jake Doolittle went pretty in-depth in his video I mean we sat and read all of the chats and everything if you want more contacts but don't want to go see these people anymore attention on their pages I recommend checking his video out
Saying that sounds like you'd think it'd be more acceptable if he had a deeper register to his voice. It's not okay either way. Don't push patriarchal nonsense that hurts victims.
I was not dating a popular UA-camr and when I got the sense that something bad was about to happen between me and my partner. I got my camera out and hid it under my arm just in time to catch him smacking me across the face. I feel like we just know when things are going to escalate and we are so used to nobody believing us that we automatically have to get proof or in the eyes of everybody else, it never happened.
Exactly! I am so damn sorry that you went through that but I'm so damn happy and proud for you that you listen to your instincts and got that on camera! That's the problem with this particularly as women is that we're so busy trying to appease and please everybody else that we ignore ourselves. We are so busy listening to what society says about us and about different situations that we gaslight ourselves into thinking we're overreacting when we're not. We never listen to our instincts, then when we finally do either we're gasolit into thinking we're crazy, we're ignored or blown off, or s*** has really hit the fan! I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope that you got out of that okay and that you are doing well!
“Very mild” is a wild thing to say. If a person is degraded like that, the tone of voice doesn’t matter. If someone isn’t shouting the words, they don’t suddenly not matter anymore. That’s a horrible take Ken. Like really wild.
That really got me too… and the joking and laughing… I 100% understand Ken’s content style and his humour, but this video was HORRIBLY handled.. I get why so many people are upset about his comments on BPD, I have it as well. He apologized for that but the entire video is so disrespectful to Alice and other survivors of DV… how is it funny..
@@Anna-Lynn999 Yeh. I honestly hope he sees this comment because this whole video was horrible. And the other guy was just laughing along, agreeing. Just a complete yes man.
I totally agree. I also found it to be unsettling hearing „very mild“ in context to his statements? In general the laughing and jokes seem very out of place for this topic. It’s about an abuse victim, not some made up scenario. It’s good Alice is getting the recognition, but I feel like this video was the wrong take. This isn’t about UA-cam Drama, this is someone’s life and experience with an abusive partner.
Having a mental diagnosis is never an excuse. My ADHD is my problem. My PTSD is my problem. It is my, and only my, responsibility to get treatment so I don't cause others discomfort or pain. Someone with EUPD (formerly BPD) can get therapy and learn to manage treir reactions and actions. A diagnosis is an explanation, never an excuse.
Not me having BPD (treated) and yet never hearing it called EUPD. That term is so much more accurate. People often hear BPD and confuse it with DID, it’s also not very accurate. EUPD makes much more sense. Thank you for sharing that. And you’re right 100%. It takes a lot of hard work but you gotta do it. You’re not responsible for causing your BPD but you are responsible for treating it- and as someone treated, let me tell you, your life and everyone else’s around you will be a million times better for it.
The love-bombing is pretty typical of abusers. People ask why women/men go back to their abusers, and it's because it's a cycle. They fight, then they promise everything will be different, they'll change, and they've seen the light, and everything will be great in the relationship for a short period. And thennnn the cycle begins again.
Nah, this guy is like Dudley before he ran into the Dementor and realized how shitty of a person he really was. Even the thing where his parents made everyone around believe that Harry was the thug piece of trash while Dudley was the little angel when it was the complete opposite fits here.
@savannan.7603 there are different ways BPD manifest in others. I'm sorry if you have suffered from someone who acted that way to you, however doesn't mean everyone with that diagnosis is like that.
@@Lestatgroupie I understand that you've most likely been abused by someone you suspect suffers from BPD and I'm sorry that happened to you, but you are actually engaging in abusive behavior yourself and excusing it because you've been hurt by someone else. I've seen several of your comments and they are incredibly mean-spirited; telling mothers that you "feel sorry for their child", saying that BPD sufferers are monsters, etc.. You are taking the experience that you had with one person who suffered from BPD and you're projecting it onto total strangers whose lives you know nothing about, because you're in pain and you're unable to process it without being cruel to someone else. Is that not the EXACT same behavior that people like you (who hate narcissists and BPDs and want to rant about how evil and abusive and irredeemable they are) criticize narcissists and those with BPD for doing to you? You're literally acting like a covert narcissist, being needlessly cruel to random strangers because someone in your past victimized you, whilst simultaneously acting like you have the moral highground. Like, are you sure you're that much better than the person with BPD who hurt you??? Because you're not coming off that great, nor do you seem very emotionally mature. I'm sorry that you've been abused and hurt, but just like my BPD doesn't give me the right to be dysfunctional to others as a result of my upbringing, you having gone through abuse at the hands of someone with BPD doesn't give you the right to spew your pain onto people that had NOTHING to do with it.
@@FurianFlame129 he was being insensitive to abuse, then blamed abuse on BPD, then APOLOGIZED for the bpd comment to then make an edit saying "can't excuse abusive people" like it was the BPD and not Alex being a bad human.
@amyc9155 yeah staying around until he ends you is a better idea. Not even ONE word he said was rude, impolite, racist, hurtful, questionable... I could go on. People like him definitely don't become egocentric Aholes later in life. He deserves a cookie for being such a sweet and loving boyfriend.
I'm so upset at this situation. Especially since I was a ImAlexx fan. I feel gross that I ever gave him views, and I'm shocked that he did this. So gross.
Same the whole week I don’t believe it but it sure it’s true at this point he deserves to be cancelled, I hope penguinz0 cover this shit up then it’s done with him immediately
After the slazzo situation, im not suprised at all. Its unfortunately common that the scenarios people launch onto speaking about just to look like a good person are the same exact things they are guilty of. Seeing him leech of of Slazos accusations without talking to him just to look like a good person who supports victims while knowing there was no evidence and doing nothing to figure out the situation beyond pick the side he could benefit off of, i had a feeling he had some skeletons in his own closet he was deflecting. I just didnt realize how bad they would be
Abuse isn't "drama". And can we please stop aligning abuse with mental illness? BPD doesn't cause you to abuse people like this. It's really stigmatizing for mental illness.
While I partially agree with you, unfortunately, untreated or undiagnosed BPD can cause somebody to act very abusive, my mother has been like this for a long time. Just like a narcissist personality disorder can cause somebody to be abusive
Me and my family we're abused by another family member with BPD which was diagnosed and not treated by choice. While I agree we shouldn't stigmatize mental disorders, we also shouldn't rule out that there we're and still are people with these disorders abusing people.
As a British person who grew up watching both you and imalexx it feels so weird watching you now talk about imalexx (I hope he gets whats coming to him- preferably a prison sentence- and just doesn’t deserve to be happy again for how he treated Alice!) * changed it because folk were somehow acting like as bad as him for saying he doesn’t deserve to be happy after he literally threatened to bash his girlfriends head in with a brick 💀💀
@@theythemgae9025to be fair, it was kinda easy to see in hindsight. Obviously most people put on a persona, but the way he was acting is exactly how he portrays himself online.
Thank you Dane for trying to bring Ken back to understanding the severity of the emotional / verbal abuse.. when he downplayed it pretty hard because she wasn’t screaming back. That was horrible,
I have BPD yet im happily married with a child, people with BPD with the right help can be ok. Howeevr it does rely on you being honest about feelings and not taking my anger out on others. The people like alex refuse to believe they are the issue and dont get help. I started therapy treatment 10 years ago but its a constant thing i do as my cindition fluctuates. Please dont count us all the same ive worked hard to be in my happy healthy relationship
@@eljames1986 exactly but we all get tarnished with the same brush don't we, apparently we are all dangero7s which is nonsense. Bad people also use it as an excuse to cause harm to people it's shocking
@@themudpit621 it's never easy but the dbt is certainly helping to give me healthy tools to cope with my anger and frustration and my partner makes it so easy to open up to him and always knows how to calm me down which thankfully doesn't need to happen very fiten these days
I’m British (as people seem to be struggling the reason I said that I’m British is because Ken said that if they were American they’d be screaming at each other. I know it has nothing to do with being British I was just responding to Ken because Alice and Alex are British as well. I know the abuse has nothing to do with being British! Hope this helps people who seem to be struggling) but honestly the reason Alice is not shouting at Alex is because if she did he would have physically assaulted her. I know this because I was in a relationship that was almost exactly the same. Edited as people seem to have not watched the video before commenting. For clarification being British has nothing to do with it! I was responding to Ken saying it would be different if they were American! 🙄
I wish they had given even 20 to 30 seconds to acknowledge that even that 20 min voice note was sent to her well over a month after they had broken up (after he allegedly hit her and damage her property) and had been psycho messaging her for weeks and weeks after she left him. He's abusive. Even if more comes out that she was also problematic, you cannot deny that he was very, very abusive to her.
Anyone who is this abusive SHOULD be exposed especially if they have a platform so maybe they can wake up and stop and finally get some help hopefully.
the one thing I want to say about how they’re not screaming and it appears relatively calm- in my experience rhis is SUPER common in abusive relationships. they say everything relatively calmly so that when you finally explode and raise your voice they can go “Look! See! you’re the problem!!” which is also why the victim stays calm
IT'S SO DISAPPOINTING that us women need audio recordings/ videos to prove it wver happened. UA-camr or not... we aren't believed. I was threatened that he would run me over with my own car- if i didn't have someone else on the phone, no one would have believed me.
It's not just a women problem too. Remember Amber and Johnny? Amber has 'receipts' of recording but if it weren't for witnesses it might've been looking like Johnny really did those. It's just horrible people in general who are disappointingly lie and cause harm to another where most victims wouldn't have the evidence. Not to mention the gaslighting, guilt tripping until the victim is in too deep to realize that they are being manipulated.
honestly dont think y'all covered this in a good way honestly would've been better if this video wasnt made, the "mild" comment, the bpd comment. i see dane tried to kinda correct ken but still
pretty disgusting coverage of a woman’s abuse. i don’t watch ken, I’ve known of him for years with how long he’s been on the platform and who he knows, but this puts me off from ever giving him a serious try again. way too disrespectful
For the record ... BPD or any mental illness is not a blanket excuse for abusing your partner. If you know you have a disorder like that, it's on you to actively work toward being better and treating others with respect. That looked like emotional abuse, plain and simple ... blaming BPD is a cop out and it makes other people who are struggling with and overcoming BPD look bad and they don't deserve it. Having BPD is punishment enough.
It also doesn't mean that because you have it, everyone should run away from you. That was a pretty irresponsible thing to say. I'd never tell someone "Well they have a mental illness. That should've been your first sign to run away."
Glad to see someone else mention this. I felt really upset with their comments insinuating that any/every relationship involving someone with bpd is a toxic failure. Don't get me wrong love Ken and Dane but yeah as someone with bpd who often feels like I'm a terrible person who no one deserves having to put up with, it hit me pretty hard. Yes we have to do the work to manage our episodes and heal our trauma but folks without it don't realize that it's often a 24-7 job and our society is engineered for us to struggle. The stigma is so bad some mental health professionals even refuse to treat someone with bpd which makes getting consistent help that much harder
Bruce Rivers hates DV abusers. They're his least favorite kind of client for 3 reasons: 1. According to him, they are very deadbeat with their payments. 2. Their entitlement and lack of contrition and morality makes it extremely difficult to deal with them, much less defend them. 3. He personally believes and says that "you" (meaning "one", usually directed to men) should "never, never, never, never, never never never never, ever put your hands on a woman. Never."
@@thedeejaeebee5babee As a fan of him and the content genius Michael Rivers, i agree! But the least he could do is give him a free Stop Self Snitching hat 🤣🤣
@@thedeejaeebee5babee thats pathetic. How about you just dont put your hands on anyone? sure, women in general are weaker than most men. But many men are weaker than other men. Does that mean you arent allowed to defend yourself against a man thats slightly weaker than you?
Uhm I feel like Ken is uhm... underexaggerating how bad this is? like he's not yelling and screaming as badly as americans would, so therefor its mild and not as bad? He literally said “I’m gonna bash your head in against the wall with a brick”... like how terrifying would that be to hear? I feel like there's way too much laughing and making light of the subject?? This is HORRIFYING!
@@zachzmolik4532 So let's say you get beat the shit out of you, and people say "Well in this country people beat others worse." Can you literally not see the problem there?
npd is just another personality disorder. anyone w/ any brain setup can be awful. you can't just go "nuh uh, not my diagnosis!" and then blame it on your "evil" twin.
Narcissism is also a personality disorder. Neither are curable but both can be managed. Why point fingers at others that are also suffering from a mental illness?
I feel like people with personality disorders shouldn't be pointing fingers at one another. An illness doesn't define who you are. Both BPD and NPD (and literally every other personality disorder) are highly misunderstood. I think "don't lump abusers is with us" would be a lot better.
I had no idea who Slazo was or anything about that situation when youtube recommended ImAllexx to me, so I just started watching him, assuming he was probably a laid back stoner in real life (judging from his constant red eyes and glazed over expression). I really gotta start looking into past drama before subscribing to youtubers. Half of them end up being creeps in real life
@@TheShadow9387Omg me too! He seemed like a decent dude and chill, but this just proves you never really know who some creators are behind the scenes.
Hey, i have BPD and I've never acted this way to a partner. Splitting happens but it's managable with the right therapy and meds. Everyone is different but being a healthy person and partner is totally possible with BPD.
I have it too and agree. As soon as I knew what was wrong and got diagnosed there was nothing to do but therapy and meds. I could not keep going the way I was before. I didn’t want to hurt anymore and I wanted to be better for everyone I love. I never abused anyone. I just could not handle any disagreement with those around me, it triggered the abandonment issue and I would just freak out becoming distraught. If my partner would just leave even to the other side of the house. A million texts later I would calm down and instantly regret it. I couldn’t keep doing that. It was agony for us both. BPD doesn’t make you a monster not getting help and causing hurt in anyway to those around you does.
@@Lestatgroupie No? What the hell are you yapping about. Splitting is not a deliberate and malicious choice, it's a real symptom of the disorder. People with BPD are still responsible for their actions, but it's important to contextualise them. This black and white thinking you're engaging in is unironically very reminiscent of the "good or bad" splitting in BPD, where there is absolutely no grey area. You're also working on stigmatising mental health. Reconsider this, girl!
I had an ex boyfriend that abused me even though he was disabled and I took care of him physically and financially. He use to call me gross for crying even though he's the one that made me cry.
Ngl I feel Dane understood the severity of this situation far more than Ken. There are some situations where jokes and a hearty giggle just don’t fit - this was one of those. I like Ken, but I feel like he needed Mary around as well for this one - idk, the tone he took with this made me really uncomfortable.
@@streetzomb69 Yeah, I think… idk at the end of the day, they’re not paid to be sensitive and feel for the victim. They’re paid to cover the issues with a light-hearted touch. But there are some topics you can’t do that with. This is one of them.
@@Punk62115 yeah but this had a hunger games host feel to it. I just felt the complete lack of empathy and it irritated me to no end. like at least be human
Completely agree. I thought I was gonna enjoy this video since I usually like hearing Ken cover this stuff, but I just felt super uncomfortable and concerned by the lack of empathy and understanding in this whole thing. I had a very close friend who had an abusive boyfriend for 2 years, and it was so painful to watch, and hard to speak up about it when everyone else was convinced everything was fine. I'm glad he apologized for the BPD comments, but this needs to be accounted for as well. Downplaying and making fun of survivors of abuse is never okay, and the dismissive things said in this video really rubbed me the wrong way.
Sorry guys but I’m disappointed in this video. I feel like you massively downplayed how traumatic and horrific this situation has been for Alice. I know people deal with these kind of things differently but laughing and making jokes just feels disrespectful. I hope Alice is safe and doing okay, and that Alex is getting the help he so desperately needs
I feel the exact same way, the tone of this video feels really wrong almost like they are trying to downplay abuse.. Ken is great but this just isn’t a good video
19:38 | as someone with bpd, that comment kinda broke my heart a bit. healthy relationships are completely possible with communication and support, i have a partner myself and things are completely fine. having bpd does not make someone inherently abusive, and writing off the abuse as just how someone with bpd acts and telling people to run was incorrect on your part. please don't trust a reddit thread when it comes to mental health information like that.
From someone who is best friends with someone who has BPD as well as myself having EUPD… I beg to differ. Relationships with someone with BPD is extremely difficult. My best friend, and no shade to her, changes her boyfriends like she changes her clothes, has severe addictions problems and both impact relationships with her family, friends and significant others (at the time being)… being friends with her is so difficult as I’ve cut her off twice for going manic panic on me. You can only deal with that so much…
Same here. I also have an amazing partner and we both have different forms of BPD. We put ALOT of work into our relationship and communication. To base someone's ability to have healthy love off of their diagnosis hurt alot...i kinda hope he addresses it tbh...the stigma to the disorder is already there but so is the awareness and education
Taking responsibility for your disorder is different than allowing it to take the reins and run rampant. People who have a handle on it can have great relationships, those who refuse to accept that they have an issue and refuse to take the steps to get better, end up like Alex.
@@chonkytemmi4652 oh yeah no 1000% weather or not he has BPD or not doesn't rly matter to me cus he's an abuser none the less. It was simply the blanket statement of "oh you're setting yourself up for failure if u get into a relationship with a borderline"
Ken says stupid shit sometimes, Dane just agrees and the only time they even acknowledge it it when they sometimes go "DAAANNGGG WE DONT KNOW IDK WHY THE COMMENTS ARE SO MAD. ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, WE ARNT DOCTORS/THERIPISTS/insert spart person here" but its NEVER an apology or even a "my bad that was ignorant for me to say" nope.
I had to stop using cursive after basic school because the teacher could not read it 😅. But i am not the only one that has trouble writing cursive while having it readable
@@Sirawxy I now mostly write names on maps for clients, and beside that numbers to order papers, so not much at a time but i do still write often 😅. Most clients are greatly to fully digital, but even with those there are often still some papers
Thank you I also have a wife with bpd and she is the most sweetest and caring person I know. I don't like when ken said if they have BPD your setting yourself up for failure, that really upset me as a fan of Ken's and as someone who's been in a loving relationship for many years with someone who is diagnosed with it. Yes there are struggles like with any sort of mental health but it's not like this situation at all.
As a devoted and supporting fan of Ken and Dane’s, Ken always making comments about people with BPD or even having an OF account and degrading us individuals, really hurts.
@@gigiamourI agree with the BPD part but not the only fans, your selling yourself instead of getting an education and a proper job that contributes to society, flashing for a quick paycheck. If you got OF your a hoe. But yeah ken needs to stop with the BPD comments but everything else I agree with.
@@gigiamourmaybe you should go back to therapy and or take a grippy sock vacation to not get so triggered and take things personally kiddo, I know how you crazies love to get ramped up
I have BPD. I've been with my partner for 9 years. Having a mental illness does not mean everyone should run away from that person. This dude is clearly narcissistic. And I can promise you, majority of people with BPD do not think this highly of themselves.
Usually people with BPD get taken advantage of by narcissists with their major fear being abandonment. This is coming from experience with my narcissist ex husband. Being away from him for 15 years and able to work on myself has changed everything for me.
Just ignore that person. They’re in every BPD comment trying to trigger them because they’re sick and board. You’re doing great and you’re right. Happy for you two
It's funny because you seem like a narc but your not calculated at all just more of a dumbass and narcs aren't controlled 😂 they are controlling!! and if you don't see that in the video then you probably think it's okay to abuse people. They probably said partner because even without mental health people still decide they don't want to marry and stay together or they want privacy, it's a normal thing you brain rot caveman. And it's funny that you try insult this persons situation even though I have the same situation with my WIFE of 5 years so please stfu you stupid NPC. Before you talk take a good long think okay 👍 @@thatbeaatcch9884
Dude, BPD is pretty bad but its a disorder. As someone who was diagnosed with it, it's all based on how willing someone is to treatment and with me and my partner being in a 6 year relationship it's a manageable condition. If he does have it, he's not getting the help he needs and making himself the issue which is disgusting. But please don't say that because someone has a condition they are automatically deemed a horrible person and that they can't have relationships, everything is treatable and they are only bad when they don't want to get help and blame others for their issues and problems.
13:00 sweethearting and love-bombing are tactics that abusers will use to make sure you don't leave them after they pushed it too far. And once you come back they learn they can push it to that extent and a little further next time
It's baffling how, even after all the despicable things he had done, people were defending him! Purposely fabricate disgusting "allegations" towards friends and acquaintances! And even when those were proven false, he never apologized, but instead, he doubled down! I guess some "protected individuals" have to be caught red-handed doing something like that for some to take notice.
I have BPD and have never treated someone like that 😢 it’s very sad to see what she’s gone through and if he’s that mentally unwell he needs to seek professional help and I hope he faces legal consequences for the abuse she endured.
Yeah ken really upset me with his comments you don't need to feel alone as BPD isn't like what ken is saying at all but more like your situation where you can understand your not a piece of shit like the guy ken is talking about in the video.
@@MUDFLAP2511lol you’re really in every comment trying to justify this shitty behavior just because yall wouldn’t do it? You do realize that bpd is not a one fits all diagnosis right? People are different but still have bpd,some are aware they have it and don’t try to be better, some do and try to be better and be on meds. Y’all feeling personally victimized by this UA-camr calling out mentally abusive behavior that may be cause by bpd (which literally has statistics that prove that most people with bpd have violent and aggressive outbursts), you guys are somewhat acting like he said all people with bpd and stuff. Yall act like people with bpd are incapable of being abusive just because YOU WOULD NEVER. YALL need to literally grow up
@@thatbeaatcch9884 you need to learn to read. nobody try to justify anything. Mental health is neve an excuse. Having BPD is hard enough without having to face the fear and judgement of other people, so yeah the comment it hurtfull as often in situation like this BPD is given as an excuse for the abuse while the diagnostic is base on nothing real , just some assumption made by peoplee with no knowledge on what BPD is really we dont feel personnaly victimize , we just want to be understood.
@@thatbeaatcch9884 Ken said that dating someone with bpd is literally setting yourself up for failure. Ken was the one who put us all under the same statement. I'd also love to see the statistics on the violent and aggressive behaviour. I live in Norway and here ppl with bpd struggle, but are rarely hurting anyone but themselves. Beeing 'triggered' because of a constant stigma beeing thrown around is perfectly normal. If you read the other coments not one person condones abuse.
my lord this autoplayed just now and this coverage of the story is disgusting. the constant lil giggles all throughout while listening to and reading the story was so hard to listen to. then every other moment they react to leads to them giving alex the benefit of the doubt as if the other 80+ pages didn’t exist. don’t know how you can do that while going from clip to clip AND segue into them in. way to treat a woman’s post about her abusive ex-partner as nothing but content and be so transparent about it. and that’s WHILE ignoring the bpd comment ken made since he already apologized for it.
That comment about BPD was unneeded and disgusting. You are essentially saying that anyone who has a certain mental illness is an abject failure and undeserving of love. Both Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder (whichever was meant) are incurable and no one willingly has such debilitating and horrendous mental conditions that often ruin their interpersonal relationships and cause them immense pain.
19:48 having a relationship with someone who has BPD is usually fine, most people with it aren't massive abusers. Yeah its better when they get help and its more difficult when they don't but most relationships aren't just doomed all the time because of it. Not excusing abusive behaviour obviously. If you're abusive then you're an asshole regardless of condition. But someone having a condition doesn't mean they'll always be an abusive asshole.
@@Evathechiefliterally have to unsubscribe because you can have experience without demonizing the disorder 🤷🏻♀️ it's like saying all my abusers having brown hair means all people with brown hair are abusers.. it's not true and it's weird 💀
Saying being in a relationship with someone with BPD is “setting yourself up for failure” is really harmful. No one chooses to have bpd. Some may choose not to work on it and do therapy but that’s different. BPD and some PTSD/cPTSD have overlapping symptoms as well so it’s harmful to say these things. You think someone who has gone through horrific trauma CHOSE to go through it? BPD is very misunderstood and often is misdiagnosed cPTSD.
Please don’t group bpd people with abusive people with bpd. I always see this and it just generally hurts every time. Alex made his desicion to abuse her, and even after calming down he chose to hurt her time and time again. That’s got nothing to do with bpd.
glad u said smth around 5:08 abt why ppl record things.. seen too many ppl attack victims when they don't have evidence but when they do they also call it suspicious that they were gathering evidence of their abuser !?!? It is so absurd
The fact they were both laughing about the situation as if it was a joke at the beginning of the video makes me truly uncomfortable. Truly disappointing.
Have you never seen one of their videos- they create levity and laugh when they're really uncomfortable. Also, dude GFT over yourself lmao they're UA-camrs, people are dying.
I was really scared to go into all of this evidence as abuse and manipulation terrifies me as someone who’s been manipulated before, so thank you for being with us guys ❤ this situation is awful, I feel for her and support her 100% I always found Alex’s personality off and I’m glad his previous friends are speaking out against him as I genuinely love them
I see that my comments that I made about bpd has upset people. My apologies for being insensitive to the people that live with the disorder and manage it properly. Unfortunately, my own personal experiences and experiences of friends and family with those with bpd have been terrible. My comments come from a place of hurt and personal experience, but i never clarify that or explain so my comments generalized those who suffer with bpd and manage it with those who dont. That wasn't my intention, but it was the result, so again, i do apologize.
EDIT - while i am sorry for my comment regarding bpd I will not condone trivializing or excusing abuse of any kind in the comments mental disorders or not. If you or someone you know is being abused by anyone please call emergency services or a domestic violence hotline. 1.800.799.7233 or text "start" to 88788 (australia 1800737732)
Thank you for addressing and giving context to the statement, much appreciated! I think when anyone is mentally ill, how they act is what’s most important, their mental issues are never an excuse to be abusive to others. It sucks to see anyone in the position where they’re a victim of an unregulated person’s behavior or being abused in any way. Hoping for the best out of such an awful situation, and that there may be justice 🙏
we got you dude, it ain't no big thing man. Thank you for clarifying and being mature about it
thank you for apologizing. i was abused by someone with BPD, but i also have many wonderful friends with the disorder. it's all about the person's self awareness and their drive to improve for themselves and others.
Those bpd people that you've had bad experiences with, they really put out a bad name for all people with BPD 💯
Muaw beautiful! 🩷✨️
Much love!
In one recording he does actually say “l’m an internet celebrity and you’re nothing without me”….which is the equivalent of “do you know who I am?”
Internet celebrity is crazy 😂
“Internet sensation” is his merch brand lmfao yeah he has problems
id argue its worse than do you know who i am
And "Don't you know who I am" is the equivalent to "I am a full blown narcissist"...
Man I’m so sad I watched his videos he made like 5 years ago then I stopped watching after a while but I wasn’t expecting to see his name on this channel…especially the way he’s being absolutely flamed.
When he said “I’m gonna bash your head in against the wall with a brick” it genuinely gave me chills. What a terrifying thing to hear from your partner.
She has! @@FancyRPGCanada
Especially with the facecamera to it.... very creepy
My mom has said something similar lol
My chest went tight when I heard him say that. I dare not imagine how Alice felt in that moment, let alone for nearly a year. She’s strong as hell for enduring that and coming out against Alex despite his following. Good for her.
Reminds me of what these two kids said to me in middle school when we were all assigned a table together. They said they wish they could hit my head with a brick. Years later in hs me and one of the girls got put in a special ed class together as a teachers assistance and suddenly we were “friends” and she was the perfect little angel. It’s funny how people can put on a fake face when there’s such evil going on behind.
I don't understand how someone who rode so hard on not using slurs is now being caught using slurs
bc he knows the type of audience he has. he wanted to look like a good person to them.
@@emowithouteventrying so lie instead of not taking a stance on the topic at all. Love that for him lmfao
EXACTLY!!! This is almost the same as when I was a KID and onision got outed as an abuser 😂💯
Projection
@@nicripolas816 holy shit you're so right
I have BPD. That's not an excuse to act like that. One of the biggest factors is after you do something wrong, you feel extreme regret and shame for doing that. I don't think he does.
exactly. thats not his bpd. thats narcissism. thats an additional diagnosis
It’s always scapegoats
More of a dig on reddit than Ken but why does abuse automatically equal bpd. I usually pick up on bpd traits and Alex does not seem to have it in the slightest, in my eyes. He’s just a piece of shit with a high ego, period.
It can be both honestly
Same. This has to be one of the worst chase of the subtype where it's 50% BPD and 50% narcissism i have ever seen. PLUS there is a big difference between people who have BPD and don't go to therapy and people that have BPD and go to therapy. All and all, it hurt.
I audibly gasped when he said she “should’ve laid down like a f**king dog”
Right? that was shameful.
also his way of using "woman" as an insult.. he's absolutely rancid and vile
That’s the part that made me gasp too. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever heard a man say to a woman, truly.
Same cuz I would’ve lost it if my partner said this.
@@mariac4127 Yeesh. Were you born 2 weeks ago? Lol
In my experience when a man is yelling at me, if I yell back it can get physical, so remaining quiet and calm is the safest way to preserve yourself.
If you don’t feed the fire, they get bored
That’s terrible
Some still do it, sadly.
I know what you mean. But i don't blame her for clapping back. It gets tiring to lie down and take their BS. I hope she is okay 🙏
@@deitaynot always sadly
She's not yelling because then it would turn into physical assault.
Idk, this guy is hella worm-coded... I feel more like if she fires back, he'll twist her words and make himself the victim
@@KattReen probably both would happen.
Dudes got a lot of balls to be talking to people outta pocket, looking like a gorillaz rejected cartoon
was just thinking this. He looks like he went to the casting call for a Gorillaz MV and they said, heck naw
I can't unsee this 😂
the way he edits his blue orbs in his thumbnails are actually horrifying
NOOOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@k1tt3z98blue orbs gives me flashbacks to wattpad 😭
"Why not leave?" You saw the video of her trying to leave. You heard his threats to harm her. You heard the voice call of him being sorry and getting pity from her. It's hard for someone to leave if they truly do love the person- the abuser will use that against the victim and manipulate them until they give them another chance.
I used to think the same thing until I lived it.
They both had really insensitive and just bad takes in this video. Disappointed me greatly
@@geekygoobs Some people who never been in that situation don't really see the full picture of all the possibilities. Some people aren't "intuitive" to think of reasons why sadly. Don't mean this as an insult but they seem more of "sensors" - getting the why's from experience and if they or someone close haven't been through it they don't get it
I still love them, it's just unless you really live through it, you just don't know HOW you'd truly deal with it.
Yea, ofc when you're outside you're begging the victim to leave, you find it easy because you aren't the one involved with all the invested feelings, issues, whatever else there actually is.
The hard reality of this scenario is you just DONT KNOW what its like until you somehow find yourself in it.
What was her insensitive take?@@geekygoobs
Once you live through it you understand. I lived it and was living with ny abuser and had no job or family i could stay with at the time so couldn't leave
He looks between 15 and 45
15 going on 45*
I think it's hs teeth. Just looks kinda weird.
I think he somehow looks both 15 and 45
More like he's 45 acting like he's 15.😂
Yes precisely
Him crying on the phone is not a redeeming quality. That’s bro just being manipulative afffff.
Bang on! I had this cycle with my ex for 10 years.. If you go no contact they are suddenly reeeaallyy sorry 🤨
Worked with narcissists, sociopaths, people with ASPD, etc. and it's a common tactic they employ to gain sympathy. I've seen them be angry one moment then suddenly cry as if on cue then stop crying entirely, voice steady, vacant expression, especially when called out. We would interview them, they would start crying then when we presented them with evidence, they would suddenly stop and be entirely different person altogether. Some of them have practiced it for years, it's easy for them to use as a trump card.
It’s so hard for me to tell after being through it time and time again.
There is no redemption in emotional manipulation
i think ken meant alex was trying to redeem himself, just to then get back together and then be manipulative and abusive again as thats the cycle people like this create
Just want to add that I have BPD and I have and would never act like this loool This man is unhinged. Mental health issues are no scapegoat for abuse.
I mean my dad has it and he can be this bad. He's even stabbed himself in the leg many times 🤷🏻♂️ it effects ppl differently
I mean in fairness i have BPD and i do behave like this BUT It came with a tidal wave of regret later and i know I'm not mentally well enough to be in a relationship
@@tescovaluebleachdoesn't mean it's okay
@@s4di.3 no one said it was OK my dude
@@Lestatgroupie😬 They just said they realize they're not well enough to be in a relationship. It seems more like they're just explaining as someone with BPD that others with this might also have similar reactions. No need to say something this disgusting to someone who is sharing how people with BPD do have the possibility to get this bad.
he looks like one of those ankle biting children that grows up to be an absolute menace
💀
Unchecked Chihuahua ego
@@danmcdonald8285even chihuahua's are less crazy than this guy, which unfortunately says a lot 👀..
I'm so happy so many large creators are covering this.
Sadly its only because there is a bag to grab. But yes guess it is good either way
Kinda sucks tbh, I knew he wasn’t all that good of a guy but this? Wasn’t much of a subscriber before but now I am not gonna be able to watch.
Wonder what his YT buddies will do. Also, holy shit, literally caught in 4K. The most receipts and evidence EVER on a creator. She actually has merits and Alex will not be able to defend this shit.
@unbottledgenie4914 yeah, I get that but that's the world we live in nowadays. At least it's getting out there more though
@@D44RK_Iced_Yogs I'm curious what he's gonna come out with after all of this and his buddies. Bc there really isn't a way to possibly spin this in a less gross light.
@@corinnenichole99truly. I can only see him contesting things that happened off camera but even then these just cements those facts.
I appreciate Ken correcting his statement on BPD. Uncontrolled/untreated BPD is very difficult to live with, but a lot of people suffering from BPD are still wonderful people.
And do terrible things
@@Lestatgroupieget off the channel bot, quit calling people with mental issues monsters
@@Lestatgroupie BPD is a disorder caused by extreme childhood trauma/neglect and it can be managed. please be for real
@@Lestatgroupiego in a hole and stay there. Clearly u don’t know shit and just a dumb ass troll
@@Lestatgroupie Get educated before you go spouting off. I have BPD too and have it managed. Its about taking accountability and getting help before it escalates. People like you who go around generalizing mental health issues to stereotypes or the worst case scenario is why people are scared to accept their diagnosis and get help.
In the document, she talks about how he held her in a headlock, and when Alice tries to get away, he chases her. It did get physical, and if she started yelling at him he would have likely gotten MORE physical
The whole situation is scary. I feel for alice, and i hope Alex doesn't abuse someone else and goes to jail
Right, it’s not that far from that to strangulation..
My brother started doing this to me. It was not fun. He seemed to think that if he only did it a little, it wasn't assault. Me brushing past him on my way out the hallway was assault according to him, but he making to wrap his hands around my throat and grab me was totally fine. It was scary.
She's very brave for protecting other women against this. A good woman.
@@rosesweetcharlotteMy younger brother and cousin started doing this when they started getting bigger than me. In a playful way, but very hard. They would do it to one another too. Apparently people were teaching them, which is concerning looking back. Anyway, idk how old you are, but I showed adults and then them the bruises on my neck and told them I would tell mandated reporters it was them choking me when asked if they didn't stop. They realized and they stopped doing it to me and each other.
I knew he was a bad guy after that Slazo situation, but this is *way* worse than i thought. What a pos
I stopped watching after that but I always found him just…. Off…. Truly a horrible person
Stopped following after he trashed Slazo and didn’t apologize. Took some time to realize he was trash himself 😅
Literally the most evidence and such I’ve seen from allegations like this. It’s usually a he said she said but it’s just a he said with this situation.
My thoughts exactly
You can just tell by his attitude online. He thinks too highly of himself, and it shows in his/others videos.
This is definitely one of those situations where Ken and Dane need a Mary PowerPoint (if she was up for it). There are a lot of things that get glossed over or skipped that bring a lot of understanding to the situation.
What Alice went through is horrific and I truly hope she is okay and that she knows the majority of the public are on her side.
These male „commentary“ ytubers and laughing about serious issues, ugh. I wish I could take my view back
This is beyond just "drama"
There's a lovely UA-camr called Swoop who tackles issues like these in her videos and whenever she does, she always has this today: "It's not drama, it's dangerous."
@@spiceupyourafterlifeits ironic that alex’s channel alsi covers similar subjects like this and now he is the subject of
Eh. Still drama whether there’s abuse or not
the crying is so manipulative in this voice call. its 5% awareness, 95% guilt tripping and trying to get his way to go RIIIGHT back to verbally abusing her in a day or two.
mY TOe!
This wasn’t a neglected relationship, this was abuse.
This situation is absolutely vile
. And while alice has admitted her behaviour wasnt exactly exemplary , no person should have to put up with any form of mental or physical abuse . Especially from a loved one or family member
Eh… Abusive relationships make you act out of fight or flight mode. Sometimes you seem ugly because you are forced to be by means of survival. It is not shocking to see ugliness on both sides, that is common within abusive situations. Im not excusing her behavior but she likely became that way as a response to his behaviors, a wall was put up so she does not get as hurt.
Wasn't attacking her .
I was just stating that she admitted her own responsibility, which understandably was in response to what she was exposed to at the time.
agreed. sure, she said things too, but she wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t treat her that same way for months. there’s only so much you can take
@@MumsieGames I get that, I am just saying it’s normal
It’s was “in reaction to”. You can’t blame her for that.
The cycle of abuse has a honeymoon phase for a reason it’s to keep the victim in the cycle
It’s a legitimate chemical reaction addiction. It’s insane.
People always forget this and blame the victim for “not knowing who it was you’re marrying” or “missing the signs”. Sometimes there ARE no signs, they’ll show their true colors after they know they’ve got you trapped.
@@sarahdarling2441 and then even after they show their true selves... they'll spend a vast amount of energy apologizing and 'making it up to you' and promising never again and that 'wasn't really them'. convincing you that the abuser isn't actually who they REALLY are.
Context doesn’t really matter when your partner is threatening to bash your brains in. Like y’all. Please. Stop trying to exercise neutrality when appraising a monster.
It’s just what commentary people do sadly y
With him turning on his camera just to yell at her makes sense though. As an abuser they have this sense of superiority and he never believes she would record him. He wanted her to see how mad he was and wanted the upper hand. Thanks for covering this. Alice needs loads of support and this guy definitely needs kicked off all platforms
if it looks 'mild' from the outside I can assure you when you're on the receiving end of that it is the most confusing, frustrating and crushing place to be with someone you thought cared about you.
And imagine all the things she wasn't able to get on camera
My partner developed BPD after she had lost her mom to murder. It is absolutely undoubtedly a struggle and we have moments where we are screaming at each other. We have NEVER told each other to k¥$ or to self harm. It is not ok and there is no excuse for telling someone these things.
This. I hate when people use it as an excuse, they make other people struggling with it look bad so whenever they use this I know they ain't sorry
And name-calling
As a fella with BPD I can say it takes the maturity of auditing your emotions before expressing them. This requires me to hold off on judgment of a situation until all perspectives are covered. A man who lets his anger consume him in his relationship is somebody that needs to be left by themselves until correct actions can be taught.
I learned all I know on this from Stoicism and use it to manage my life to this day
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s such a perfect way to put it “auditing your emotions before expressing them”. If I feel a flare up from a triggering situation I will express my need to step away, collect myself, assess my feelings, and then come back when I can calmly and healthily articulate.
As someone with treated BPD, I will look into Stoicism. It sounds like it would be a beneficial addition to the ‘recovery process’ (for lack of a better term).
I know it's not the same but my brother has autism and used to prone to meltdowns (I don't know what the PC word is) and after he has his meltdown he would always apologise to people. He says my autism doesn't excuse my actions. He's 30 now and has come a long way
@@___Lyric___ a great compilation you can find here on UA-cam is Kratos reading "on anger" by Seneca. I feel the dichotomy between having Kratos of all people read a treatise on proper regulation of all anger related things is a literal *chef's kiss*
lol girl disorder
About BPD and relationships, I'd add that if you have ways to treat/manage the symptoms, you can have relationships with someone with BPD. But if you don't use them and pass the blame on everyone around, you are toxic and should be alone.
Thanks for saying this. I have bpd, been working hard on myself my whole life and today have a husband, 2 kids and a steady job. Ken generalizing hurt my butt.
@@mumuflake thank you same :(
I also have BPD and Ken really hurt me with this....sounded like he was saying we don't deserve to be loved. It is work, but I really do try and I hold myself accountable when I get out of control.
Thank you for your kinds words towards mental disorders. I have BP. I've put alot of hard work into my mental health and I'm happy to say I'll be celebrating my 15yr anniversary with my bf in a month.
it sucks that BPD requires specialized, EXPENSIVE therapy... like bruh we're already miserable and now it costs even MORE just to BARELY function 😭 having to treat your own BPD by yourself bc health professionals care more about money, kinda sucks. there's a reason why the successful self inflicted mortality rate is 10% of all people diagnosed with BPD. and its not an uncommon disorder by any means, so that's a LOT of people 😔
calling that youtube drama is kinda wild
Ken you are so right about the fact Alice has got to prove this. My ex was abusive in very similar ways to Alex and because he makes sure his public image is pretty much squeaky clean no one believed that he had hurt me. He assaulted me 5 times and I had to call the police (I’m in the uk) and still his friends believe that I’m the crazy ex. Not that he’s abusive.
Thankyou for covering this Ken. Alice deserves all the support.
Covert narcissist
I had the same experience with my ex husband…he was a good little church boy so how could he do any wrong 😒 we still have a couple mutuals and they’re finally starting to say how they can see what I was saying after the news broke we were divorcing….its been 3 years since the divorce and 4 since separating.
Sorry to hear you experience, It resembles the one I had with my ex. He would make such a big deal about putting a facade on around others that when I tried to tell my side, everyone saw me as the crazy ex. I hope you are doing better now that you are free of your ex❤
He will get what's coming to him. I hope you heal and stay strong for yourself.
@@soul-ringgames8835 thank you. Honestly all that bothers me is that he doesn’t do it to anyone else but he probably will. The best revenge is living well and all that. I appreciate the support though ☺️
There was more emotion in his voice when he stubbed his toe then that whole “apology “
"Theres not a lot of yelling" yes because she doesn't want to upset her abuser more she's in a domestic abusive relationship!.
As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I concur it's extremely hard to be in a relationship without serious therapy. I'm married and everyday is a struggle, but I'm so thankful he's sticking by me.
Im so happy your husband is sticking by you! I’m in a similar boat, my partner has stuck with me through ups and downs for 6 years, even before I was diagnosed with BPD. Everyday feels like a new struggle but behavioral therapy has helped me so much.
Exceptions aren’t the rule, so I also think that it’s generally not worth engaging in a relationship with someone with BPD. I’ve also had one - it went sour after I couldn’t handle the emotional baggage for the both of us.
People need to work on themselves before entering relationships with others. Your husband has to struggle with you and share your burdens, and it’s fair not to encourage that in my opinion.
@@JoeyClover it’s weird that you found two people who are getting help and in successful relationships and needed to tell them that since it didn’t work for you they’re irresponsible for sharing their story?
Make your own comment thread.
@@smaugkat yea, this disorder is complicated and it’s not the same for everyone who suffers it. That’s why generalizations are hurtful for people within the umbrella of this condition.
@@Meggibsonnotmel I myself have Quiet BPD and reading a comment like this "I also think that it’s generally not worth engaging in a relationship with someone with BPD" somehow broke my heart.
As someone who has been diagnosed with bpd, it to me would never excuse the type of behaviour Alex has shown. Relationships with bpd don’t always have to be toxic as long as your doing the work with mental health professionals to stay on top of your symptoms. As you can go into remission if you put in the work. Bpd is widely misunderstood by most people which is fine but it’s not as scary as it seems and most with bpd are very kind and loving people.
Yes you are allowed to feel whatever you want but your behavior is always your responsibility no matter what. If you’re symptoms are not under control don’t date people. A random person is not a trained health specialist and you can’t put that on someone else to deal with.
@Krooseval did you read the comment at all?
My younger sister has BPD and she would never ever treat someone like that, so yeah I absolutely agree you can't use it as an excuse for such awful/ evil behavior.
The thing with my sister is that she is also working on herself and how she interacts with people and taking responsibility for her behavior...not everyone does this and just likes to blame any conditions they have as a excuse for bad behavior.
same here i also have bpd and started showing aggressive behavior when i was 14. immediately started going to therapie and now at the age of 21 i am almost completely symptom free. he should seriously get help and nobody should use bpd as an excuse for this type of behavior
Ken basically said don't date someone with bpd it'll fail :/
Dane seems to be a bit more sympathetic. I appreciate them covering this, but Ken’s tone seems very dismissive and it seems like he’s downplaying it quite a bit. He probably just misspoke, these videos don’t seem like they have effort behind them so it’s not like he thought too much about what he said. Still, saying it’s ‘mild’ felt really strange to me.
“Why not leave?” “You’re setting yourself up by getting with somebody with BPD” “It’s very mild, it’s not physical” this whole video is off.
Agreed, the lighthearted tone of this video really unnerved me considering the topic at hand...
I agree...Ken really missed the mark here... Not fair to DV survivours, nor BPD sufferers, I have BPD and what he said was just....wrong, on so many levels.. he has a bad experience with someone who has BPD and then everyone gets thrown into that? nah, not fair at all.
Imagine having a bad experience with a POC and saying "all POC are like this" or someone of a certain gender "all men/women are like this" etc...wouldn't go down well... so why group up people with BPD? again, I feel bad that he's bad a bad experience with someone who has it, but most of us are really loving, caring and kind people, we feel our emotions stronger than most people, a lot of us are very caring and loving and just want to feel safe and happy and loved.. yes, there's people with BPD who are toxic or violent, but most people with BPD aren't violent, at least to my knowledge...I have never been that way myself and don't want to be lumped in with people like that.
I agree a little too light hearted
Glad people agree. So many people with bpd are VICTIMS of DV because abuse is all we have ever known (which should be obvious considering bpd is a TRAUMA related illness)
I wouldn't call this youtube drama, it more like an abuse case
Even though context is missing, just the way he talks to her and puts her down is awful. He’s disgusting 😞 Poor Alice, my heart goes out to her, it’s not easy to heal after being talked to like that constantly.
“lay down like a good dog” is genuinely appalling
@@jaqsre it really is, the brick comment too
like... no context will make him look good after hearing those things. unless its in a damn script and we all know it aint
@@aberdeeen exactly. saying things you don’t mean in arguments is a human flaw, but he’s yards past that line clearly
Jake Doolittle went pretty in-depth in his video I mean we sat and read all of the chats and everything if you want more contacts but don't want to go see these people anymore attention on their pages I recommend checking his video out
Allexx has a lot of nerve raising his voice at a woman when he sounds like that
Saying that sounds like you'd think it'd be more acceptable if he had a deeper register to his voice.
It's not okay either way. Don't push patriarchal nonsense that hurts victims.
@eleruces7722 please just shut up and enjoy the joke
@@FurianFlame129 ahhh we have a joker over here.
Big funny guy
Eh marron we have a funny guy ova ere
Between the tone and the accent, he sounds like he’s ready for a solid uppercut between the legs
@@eleruces7722no fucking way you’re talking right now 💀💀💀
I was not dating a popular UA-camr and when I got the sense that something bad was about to happen between me and my partner. I got my camera out and hid it under my arm just in time to catch him smacking me across the face. I feel like we just know when things are going to escalate and we are so used to nobody believing us that we automatically have to get proof or in the eyes of everybody else, it never happened.
Exactly! I am so damn sorry that you went through that but I'm so damn happy and proud for you that you listen to your instincts and got that on camera! That's the problem with this particularly as women is that we're so busy trying to appease and please everybody else that we ignore ourselves. We are so busy listening to what society says about us and about different situations that we gaslight ourselves into thinking we're overreacting when we're not. We never listen to our instincts, then when we finally do either we're gasolit into thinking we're crazy, we're ignored or blown off, or s*** has really hit the fan! I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope that you got out of that okay and that you are doing well!
“Very mild” is a wild thing to say. If a person is degraded like that, the tone of voice doesn’t matter. If someone isn’t shouting the words, they don’t suddenly not matter anymore.
That’s a horrible take Ken. Like really wild.
I was thinking the same thing
i agree. he was downplaying abuse and it was very sad to hear from him.
That really got me too… and the joking and laughing… I 100% understand Ken’s content style and his humour, but this video was HORRIBLY handled.. I get why so many people are upset about his comments on BPD, I have it as well. He apologized for that but the entire video is so disrespectful to Alice and other survivors of DV… how is it funny..
@@Anna-Lynn999 Yeh. I honestly hope he sees this comment because this whole video was horrible. And the other guy was just laughing along, agreeing. Just a complete yes man.
I totally agree. I also found it to be unsettling hearing „very mild“ in context to his statements? In general the laughing and jokes seem very out of place for this topic. It’s about an abuse victim, not some made up scenario. It’s good Alice is getting the recognition, but I feel like this video was the wrong take. This isn’t about UA-cam Drama, this is someone’s life and experience with an abusive partner.
Having a mental diagnosis is never an excuse. My ADHD is my problem. My PTSD is my problem. It is my, and only my, responsibility to get treatment so I don't cause others discomfort or pain. Someone with EUPD (formerly BPD) can get therapy and learn to manage treir reactions and actions. A diagnosis is an explanation, never an excuse.
Thank you for mentioning EUPD. I did not know this term.
I wasn't aware of the term EUPD; what does it stand for?
Not me having BPD (treated) and yet never hearing it called EUPD. That term is so much more accurate. People often hear BPD and confuse it with DID, it’s also not very accurate. EUPD makes much more sense. Thank you for sharing that.
And you’re right 100%. It takes a lot of hard work but you gotta do it. You’re not responsible for causing your BPD but you are responsible for treating it- and as someone treated, let me tell you, your life and everyone else’s around you will be a million times better for it.
@@veronicagenuino22Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Far more accurate and direct than calling it Borderline.
@@___Lyric___ I'm so glad you feel therapy has worked for you and helped your life quality! 😊
Hey, I have BPD but I've mostly recovered and am happily married! Not all BPD people destroy others.
Exactly
What is BPD?
@@David-el8xx you have google
borderline personality disorder look it up
@@David-el8xx
@@David-el8xx borderline personality disorder
between the victim blaming and villainizing people with PBD this video was really disappointing to watch.
Let's not make this all about you and go back to the subject of the video
@@hrosexo they aren't wrong though. Usually Ken is good about approaching things from a middle ground.
The love-bombing is pretty typical of abusers. People ask why women/men go back to their abusers, and it's because it's a cycle. They fight, then they promise everything will be different, they'll change, and they've seen the light, and everything will be great in the relationship for a short period. And thennnn the cycle begins again.
"Apparently she can't have an opinion because she doesn't pay for one." Ouch...
Bros a feminist treating women like it's the 1800s
Paid DLC unfortunately :(
Any time someone threatens violence it turns from a toxic relationship to an abusive one
"Harry Potter from the streets" 😭
That one got me good 😂
Don't malign my boi Harry like that 😤
Nah, this guy is like Dudley before he ran into the Dementor and realized how shitty of a person he really was. Even the thing where his parents made everyone around believe that Harry was the thug piece of trash while Dudley was the little angel when it was the complete opposite fits here.
😂😂
Chavvy Potter
just a heads up to people: whilst you can have bpd and be an abuser, having bpd DOES NOT make you an abuser not all of us are monsters
@@Lestatgroupie super edgy and cool of u wow! do better
@@nightmrj you do better and don’t abuse people ❤️
@@Lestatgroupie ? ❤
@savannan.7603 there are different ways BPD manifest in others. I'm sorry if you have suffered from someone who acted that way to you, however doesn't mean everyone with that diagnosis is like that.
@@Lestatgroupie I understand that you've most likely been abused by someone you suspect suffers from BPD and I'm sorry that happened to you, but you are actually engaging in abusive behavior yourself and excusing it because you've been hurt by someone else. I've seen several of your comments and they are incredibly mean-spirited; telling mothers that you "feel sorry for their child", saying that BPD sufferers are monsters, etc.. You are taking the experience that you had with one person who suffered from BPD and you're projecting it onto total strangers whose lives you know nothing about, because you're in pain and you're unable to process it without being cruel to someone else.
Is that not the EXACT same behavior that people like you (who hate narcissists and BPDs and want to rant about how evil and abusive and irredeemable they are) criticize narcissists and those with BPD for doing to you? You're literally acting like a covert narcissist, being needlessly cruel to random strangers because someone in your past victimized you, whilst simultaneously acting like you have the moral highground. Like, are you sure you're that much better than the person with BPD who hurt you??? Because you're not coming off that great, nor do you seem very emotionally mature.
I'm sorry that you've been abused and hurt, but just like my BPD doesn't give me the right to be dysfunctional to others as a result of my upbringing, you having gone through abuse at the hands of someone with BPD doesn't give you the right to spew your pain onto people that had NOTHING to do with it.
"At that point, leave" wow so helpful guys, what a hot take!!
Yeah, this video is just confusing and untasteful on so many levels.
You guys always have to complain about something
@@codesofdan9182 he didn't server at all, and it's piss poor for his size to be acting this way 🤦🏻♀️
@@FurianFlame129 he was being insensitive to abuse, then blamed abuse on BPD, then APOLOGIZED for the bpd comment to then make an edit saying "can't excuse abusive people" like it was the BPD and not Alex being a bad human.
@amyc9155 yeah staying around until he ends you is a better idea. Not even ONE word he said was rude, impolite, racist, hurtful, questionable... I could go on. People like him definitely don't become egocentric Aholes later in life. He deserves a cookie for being such a sweet and loving boyfriend.
I'm so upset at this situation. Especially since I was a ImAlexx fan. I feel gross that I ever gave him views, and I'm shocked that he did this. So gross.
Same the whole week I don’t believe it but it sure it’s true at this point he deserves to be cancelled, I hope penguinz0 cover this shit up then it’s done with him immediately
Was a fan of the whole the boys group a few years ago. It sucks.
Same. I’m so disappointed
Absolutely same. I feel so gross and sick to my stomach. This is absolutely bonkers :(
After the slazzo situation, im not suprised at all. Its unfortunately common that the scenarios people launch onto speaking about just to look like a good person are the same exact things they are guilty of. Seeing him leech of of Slazos accusations without talking to him just to look like a good person who supports victims while knowing there was no evidence and doing nothing to figure out the situation beyond pick the side he could benefit off of, i had a feeling he had some skeletons in his own closet he was deflecting. I just didnt realize how bad they would be
10:00 the only reason it’s not a screaming match is because she stays silent. If she had responded to him it would have escalated.
Abuse isn't "drama". And can we please stop aligning abuse with mental illness? BPD doesn't cause you to abuse people like this. It's really stigmatizing for mental illness.
While I partially agree with you, unfortunately, untreated or undiagnosed BPD can cause somebody to act very abusive, my mother has been like this for a long time. Just like a narcissist personality disorder can cause somebody to be abusive
Me and my family we're abused by another family member with BPD which was diagnosed and not treated by choice. While I agree we shouldn't stigmatize mental disorders, we also shouldn't rule out that there we're and still are people with these disorders abusing people.
As a British person who grew up watching both you and imalexx it feels so weird watching you now talk about imalexx (I hope he gets whats coming to him- preferably a prison sentence- and just doesn’t deserve to be happy again for how he treated Alice!) * changed it because folk were somehow acting like as bad as him for saying he doesn’t deserve to be happy after he literally threatened to bash his girlfriends head in with a brick 💀💀
same here!
Yeah up until this came out Ken & Alex have been on my daily watch list. It's so fucked.
Why is it weird
@@theythemgae9025to be fair, it was kinda easy to see in hindsight. Obviously most people put on a persona, but the way he was acting is exactly how he portrays himself online.
Same, its like a fever dream turned to reality
I’m surprised you and Dane weren’t more appalled by the clip of him saying he was going to bash her head in with a brick!
I mean he wasn't screaming so it was "very mild" I guess
Thank you Dane for trying to bring Ken back to understanding the severity of the emotional / verbal abuse.. when he downplayed it pretty hard because she wasn’t screaming back. That was horrible,
Right, like he has to be threatening to smash your head in with a brick WHILE SCREAMING or else it's not a big deal
@@ChibiCaseyes
For anyone out there with BPD who is doing the work - recovery is absolutely possible and you’re more than deserving of love. Keep it up ❤
Thank you
Appreciate that
Thank you so much 🫶
Thank you for covering this, it’s a really bad situation. My heart goes out to Alice for having dealt with this for so long
Allegations are one thing. Allegations with receipts is a whole other level.
I have BPD yet im happily married with a child, people with BPD with the right help can be ok. Howeevr it does rely on you being honest about feelings and not taking my anger out on others. The people like alex refuse to believe they are the issue and dont get help. I started therapy treatment 10 years ago but its a constant thing i do as my cindition fluctuates. Please dont count us all the same ive worked hard to be in my happy healthy relationship
Exactly
Thankyou! So many of us work on ourselves and take accountability
@@eljames1986 exactly but we all get tarnished with the same brush don't we, apparently we are all dangero7s which is nonsense. Bad people also use it as an excuse to cause harm to people it's shocking
The main thing is take your top lip, and touch your bottom lip with it, then HOLD! Easy to say, almost impossible to do at times.
@@themudpit621 it's never easy but the dbt is certainly helping to give me healthy tools to cope with my anger and frustration and my partner makes it so easy to open up to him and always knows how to calm me down which thankfully doesn't need to happen very fiten these days
I’m British (as people seem to be struggling the reason I said that I’m British is because Ken said that if they were American they’d be screaming at each other. I know it has nothing to do with being British I was just responding to Ken because Alice and Alex are British as well. I know the abuse has nothing to do with being British! Hope this helps people who seem to be struggling) but honestly the reason Alice is not shouting at Alex is because if she did he would have physically assaulted her. I know this because I was in a relationship that was almost exactly the same.
Edited as people seem to have not watched the video before commenting. For clarification being British has nothing to do with it! I was responding to Ken saying it would be different if they were American! 🙄
That has nothing to do with nationality, unfortunately. Abusers gonna abuse, no matter where they are from
Yeah that makes sense but what does it have to do with being British? 😭
he did physically assualt her unfortunately, hes a vile human who deserves nothing but jail time, its heartbreaking seeing people go through this
So you blame it on the british? Got it!
IM SORRY BUT THIS IS MAKING ME LAUGH WHAT DOES YOU BEING BRITISH HAVE TO DO WITH ANTHING JSJSNS😭💀
I wish they had given even 20 to 30 seconds to acknowledge that even that 20 min voice note was sent to her well over a month after they had broken up (after he allegedly hit her and damage her property) and had been psycho messaging her for weeks and weeks after she left him. He's abusive. Even if more comes out that she was also problematic, you cannot deny that he was very, very abusive to her.
Anyone who is this abusive SHOULD be exposed especially if they have a platform so maybe they can wake up and stop and finally get some help hopefully.
the one thing I want to say about how they’re not screaming and it appears relatively calm- in my experience rhis is SUPER common in abusive relationships. they say everything relatively calmly so that when you finally explode and raise your voice they can go “Look! See! you’re the problem!!” which is also why the victim stays calm
IT'S SO DISAPPOINTING that us women need audio recordings/ videos to prove it wver happened. UA-camr or not... we aren't believed.
I was threatened that he would run me over with my own car- if i didn't have someone else on the phone, no one would have believed me.
It's not just a women problem too. Remember Amber and Johnny? Amber has 'receipts' of recording but if it weren't for witnesses it might've been looking like Johnny really did those.
It's just horrible people in general who are disappointingly lie and cause harm to another where most victims wouldn't have the evidence. Not to mention the gaslighting, guilt tripping until the victim is in too deep to realize that they are being manipulated.
@@kristinegangman7756 True.
Well no shit that's how evidence works doesn't matter if its a guy or woman
Its always the self proclaimed "nice guys" you gotta watch put for.
ALWAYS!
Like. He literally makes fun of other content creators that did stuff like this. Just to be one himself.
its not only Allegations there are 100% reliable proof at this point.
honestly dont think y'all covered this in a good way honestly would've been better if this video wasnt made, the "mild" comment, the bpd comment. i see dane tried to kinda correct ken but still
pretty disgusting coverage of a woman’s abuse. i don’t watch ken, I’ve known of him for years with how long he’s been on the platform and who he knows, but this puts me off from ever giving him a serious try again. way too disrespectful
For the record ... BPD or any mental illness is not a blanket excuse for abusing your partner. If you know you have a disorder like that, it's on you to actively work toward being better and treating others with respect. That looked like emotional abuse, plain and simple ... blaming BPD is a cop out and it makes other people who are struggling with and overcoming BPD look bad and they don't deserve it. Having BPD is punishment enough.
Came here to say this as well
It also doesn't mean that because you have it, everyone should run away from you. That was a pretty irresponsible thing to say. I'd never tell someone "Well they have a mental illness. That should've been your first sign to run away."
Clearly the guy in the video was abusive. That doesn't mean every person with that illness is.
Glad to see someone else mention this. I felt really upset with their comments insinuating that any/every relationship involving someone with bpd is a toxic failure. Don't get me wrong love Ken and Dane but yeah as someone with bpd who often feels like I'm a terrible person who no one deserves having to put up with, it hit me pretty hard.
Yes we have to do the work to manage our episodes and heal our trauma but folks without it don't realize that it's often a 24-7 job and our society is engineered for us to struggle. The stigma is so bad some mental health professionals even refuse to treat someone with bpd which makes getting consistent help that much harder
Agreed. I hate the stereotype that all people with BPD are abusers.
He self snitched ON DISCORD WEBCAM! He needs Bruce Rivers.
Bruce Rivers hates DV abusers. They're his least favorite kind of client for 3 reasons:
1. According to him, they are very deadbeat with their payments.
2. Their entitlement and lack of contrition and morality makes it extremely difficult to deal with them, much less defend them.
3. He personally believes and says that "you" (meaning "one", usually directed to men) should "never, never, never, never, never never never never, ever put your hands on a woman. Never."
@@thedeejaeebee5babee As a fan of him and the content genius Michael Rivers, i agree! But the least he could do is give him a free Stop Self Snitching hat 🤣🤣
@@thedeejaeebee5babee thats pathetic.
How about you just dont put your hands on anyone?
sure, women in general are weaker than most men.
But many men are weaker than other men.
Does that mean you arent allowed to defend yourself against a man thats slightly weaker than you?
He's the Criminal lawyer!
@@erinbriggs2087And what he do?
Uhm I feel like Ken is uhm... underexaggerating how bad this is? like he's not yelling and screaming as badly as americans would, so therefor its mild and not as bad? He literally said “I’m gonna bash your head in against the wall with a brick”... like how terrifying would that be to hear? I feel like there's way too much laughing and making light of the subject?? This is HORRIFYING!
He’s not under-exaggerating this situation, he is stating that Americans are vocally louder and tend to escalate faster
@@zachzmolik4532 So let's say you get beat the shit out of you, and people say "Well in this country people beat others worse." Can you literally not see the problem there?
@@zachzmolik4532half the video is ken playing it down?
I didn't see an ounce of empathy in this video
I hope he clears this up, it doesn’t feel sympathetic at all and it’s like he doesn’t see this as the abuse it actually is.
I have bpd and I would never act the way that guy does. He clearly a narcissist. Don’t lump him with us with bpd.
npd is just another personality disorder. anyone w/ any brain setup can be awful. you can't just go "nuh uh, not my diagnosis!" and then blame it on your "evil" twin.
Both people with bpd and narcicistic personality disorders are not neccesarily abusers.
Narcissism is also a personality disorder. Neither are curable but both can be managed. Why point fingers at others that are also suffering from a mental illness?
both narcissism and bpd r cluster B disorders. i get u but there's no reason to drag others down to pull urself back up
I feel like people with personality disorders shouldn't be pointing fingers at one another. An illness doesn't define who you are. Both BPD and NPD (and literally every other personality disorder) are highly misunderstood. I think "don't lump abusers is with us" would be a lot better.
I had no idea who Slazo was or anything about that situation when youtube recommended ImAllexx to me, so I just started watching him, assuming he was probably a laid back stoner in real life (judging from his constant red eyes and glazed over expression). I really gotta start looking into past drama before subscribing to youtubers. Half of them end up being creeps in real life
Dude same, now I feel gross
@@TheShadow9387Omg me too! He seemed like a decent dude and chill, but this just proves you never really know who some creators are behind the scenes.
SAME!!!
He seemed ok..... AT FIRST
We've been had
I got recommended by UA-cam with that “e-boy” group he’s in. Im not online like that, but damn I’m learning fast…
Same here. Especially because he really made sure to make his image seem “nice guy-ish”
Hey, i have BPD and I've never acted this way to a partner. Splitting happens but it's managable with the right therapy and meds. Everyone is different but being a healthy person and partner is totally possible with BPD.
I have it too and agree. As soon as I knew what was wrong and got diagnosed there was nothing to do but therapy and meds. I could not keep going the way I was before. I didn’t want to hurt anymore and I wanted to be better for everyone I love. I never abused anyone. I just could not handle any disagreement with those around me, it triggered the abandonment issue and I would just freak out becoming distraught. If my partner would just leave even to the other side of the house. A million texts later I would calm down and instantly regret it. I couldn’t keep doing that. It was agony for us both. BPD doesn’t make you a monster not getting help and causing hurt in anyway to those around you does.
@@Lestatgroupiesplitting still happens no matter if you act on it or not ❤
@@Lestatgroupie No? What the hell are you yapping about. Splitting is not a deliberate and malicious choice, it's a real symptom of the disorder. People with BPD are still responsible for their actions, but it's important to contextualise them. This black and white thinking you're engaging in is unironically very reminiscent of the "good or bad" splitting in BPD, where there is absolutely no grey area. You're also working on stigmatising mental health. Reconsider this, girl!
@@Lestatgroupieif you don’t have it, please don’t comment on it.
I had an ex boyfriend that abused me even though he was disabled and I took care of him physically and financially. He use to call me gross for crying even though he's the one that made me cry.
Ngl I feel Dane understood the severity of this situation far more than Ken. There are some situations where jokes and a hearty giggle just don’t fit - this was one of those. I like Ken, but I feel like he needed Mary around as well for this one - idk, the tone he took with this made me really uncomfortable.
Agree wholeheartedly.
@@streetzomb69 Yeah, I think… idk at the end of the day, they’re not paid to be sensitive and feel for the victim. They’re paid to cover the issues with a light-hearted touch. But there are some topics you can’t do that with. This is one of them.
@@Punk62115 yeah but this had a hunger games host feel to it. I just felt the complete lack of empathy and it irritated me to no end. like at least be human
Ken usually is dense like this. I feel like he probably isn't a great guy irl just my opinion
Completely agree. I thought I was gonna enjoy this video since I usually like hearing Ken cover this stuff, but I just felt super uncomfortable and concerned by the lack of empathy and understanding in this whole thing. I had a very close friend who had an abusive boyfriend for 2 years, and it was so painful to watch, and hard to speak up about it when everyone else was convinced everything was fine. I'm glad he apologized for the BPD comments, but this needs to be accounted for as well. Downplaying and making fun of survivors of abuse is never okay, and the dismissive things said in this video really rubbed me the wrong way.
Sorry guys but I’m disappointed in this video. I feel like you massively downplayed how traumatic and horrific this situation has been for Alice. I know people deal with these kind of things differently but laughing and making jokes just feels disrespectful. I hope Alice is safe and doing okay, and that Alex is getting the help he so desperately needs
I feel the exact same way, the tone of this video feels really wrong almost like they are trying to downplay abuse.. Ken is great but this just isn’t a good video
19:38 | as someone with bpd, that comment kinda broke my heart a bit. healthy relationships are completely possible with communication and support, i have a partner myself and things are completely fine. having bpd does not make someone inherently abusive, and writing off the abuse as just how someone with bpd acts and telling people to run was incorrect on your part. please don't trust a reddit thread when it comes to mental health information like that.
From someone who is best friends with someone who has BPD as well as myself having EUPD… I beg to differ. Relationships with someone with BPD is extremely difficult. My best friend, and no shade to her, changes her boyfriends like she changes her clothes, has severe addictions problems and both impact relationships with her family, friends and significant others (at the time being)… being friends with her is so difficult as I’ve cut her off twice for going manic panic on me. You can only deal with that so much…
Same here. I also have an amazing partner and we both have different forms of BPD. We put ALOT of work into our relationship and communication. To base someone's ability to have healthy love off of their diagnosis hurt alot...i kinda hope he addresses it tbh...the stigma to the disorder is already there but so is the awareness and education
Taking responsibility for your disorder is different than allowing it to take the reins and run rampant. People who have a handle on it can have great relationships, those who refuse to accept that they have an issue and refuse to take the steps to get better, end up like Alex.
@@chonkytemmi4652 oh yeah no 1000% weather or not he has BPD or not doesn't rly matter to me cus he's an abuser none the less. It was simply the blanket statement of "oh you're setting yourself up for failure if u get into a relationship with a borderline"
Ken says stupid shit sometimes, Dane just agrees and the only time they even acknowledge it it when they sometimes go "DAAANNGGG WE DONT KNOW IDK WHY THE COMMENTS ARE SO MAD. ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL, WE ARNT DOCTORS/THERIPISTS/insert spart person here" but its NEVER an apology or even a "my bad that was ignorant for me to say" nope.
Its really unfortunate that there isnt an ounce of empathy in this video.
Tbh I've noticed they've slowly been going down that route w all the "drama" content... It's really upsetting to see.
Boo fuckin hoo. Go ride your high horse somewhere else
"No one writes in cursive anymore"
Me: Writing in cursive every day because it's quicker 😅
More like no one writes anymore 😂 (I know some people still do
I had to stop using cursive after basic school because the teacher could not read it 😅. But i am not the only one that has trouble writing cursive while having it readable
@@Sirawxy I now mostly write names on maps for clients, and beside that numbers to order papers, so not much at a time but i do still write often 😅. Most clients are greatly to fully digital, but even with those there are often still some papers
Cursive users unite! Lol
It's just normal handwriting. I don't know why americans tend to be so befuddled by it.
Whilst this guy is an absolute pos, stigmatising people with BPD like that lacks so much insight and was incredibly insensitive. I'm disappointed.
Yea the bpd part has me feeling off :/
Thank you I also have a wife with bpd and she is the most sweetest and caring person I know. I don't like when ken said if they have BPD your setting yourself up for failure, that really upset me as a fan of Ken's and as someone who's been in a loving relationship for many years with someone who is diagnosed with it. Yes there are struggles like with any sort of mental health but it's not like this situation at all.
As a devoted and supporting fan of Ken and Dane’s, Ken always making comments about people with BPD or even having an OF account and degrading us individuals, really hurts.
@@gigiamourI agree with the BPD part but not the only fans, your selling yourself instead of getting an education and a proper job that contributes to society, flashing for a quick paycheck. If you got OF your a hoe. But yeah ken needs to stop with the BPD comments but everything else I agree with.
@@gigiamourmaybe you should go back to therapy and or take a grippy sock vacation to not get so triggered and take things personally kiddo, I know how you crazies love to get ramped up
I have BPD. I've been with my partner for 9 years. Having a mental illness does not mean everyone should run away from that person. This dude is clearly narcissistic. And I can promise you, majority of people with BPD do not think this highly of themselves.
Usually people with BPD get taken advantage of by narcissists with their major fear being abandonment. This is coming from experience with my narcissist ex husband. Being away from him for 15 years and able to work on myself has changed everything for me.
Notice how you say partner and not husband😭😂, he doesn’t want to be typed down to you
And he’s not narcissistic, narcissistic are quite literally controlled and calculated 😂
Just ignore that person. They’re in every BPD comment trying to trigger them because they’re sick and board. You’re doing great and you’re right. Happy for you two
It's funny because you seem like a narc but your not calculated at all just more of a dumbass and narcs aren't controlled 😂 they are controlling!! and if you don't see that in the video then you probably think it's okay to abuse people. They probably said partner because even without mental health people still decide they don't want to marry and stay together or they want privacy, it's a normal thing you brain rot caveman. And it's funny that you try insult this persons situation even though I have the same situation with my WIFE of 5 years so please stfu you stupid NPC. Before you talk take a good long think okay 👍 @@thatbeaatcch9884
"Apparently she can't have an opinion because she doesn't pay for one" lmfao oh that got me good
Dude, BPD is pretty bad but its a disorder. As someone who was diagnosed with it, it's all based on how willing someone is to treatment and with me and my partner being in a 6 year relationship it's a manageable condition. If he does have it, he's not getting the help he needs and making himself the issue which is disgusting. But please don't say that because someone has a condition they are automatically deemed a horrible person and that they can't have relationships, everything is treatable and they are only bad when they don't want to get help and blame others for their issues and problems.
Appreciate you!
I feel like his horrible behavior is him and outside of BPD
I'm gonna need him to get his ukelele out and sing us all an apology.
in my opinion, it seems a bit insensitive to call this “youtube drama”
13:00 sweethearting and love-bombing are tactics that abusers will use to make sure you don't leave them after they pushed it too far. And once you come back they learn they can push it to that extent and a little further next time
It's baffling how, even after all the despicable things he had done, people were defending him! Purposely fabricate disgusting "allegations" towards friends and acquaintances! And even when those were proven false, he never apologized, but instead, he doubled down! I guess some "protected individuals" have to be caught red-handed doing something like that for some to take notice.
As someone with BPD, there is a huge difference between that and emotional immaturity. Relationships (of any kind) are not destined for failure.
I have BPD and have never treated someone like that 😢 it’s very sad to see what she’s gone through and if he’s that mentally unwell he needs to seek professional help and I hope he faces legal consequences for the abuse she endured.
Yeah ken really upset me with his comments you don't need to feel alone as BPD isn't like what ken is saying at all but more like your situation where you can understand your not a piece of shit like the guy ken is talking about in the video.
@@MUDFLAP2511lol you’re really in every comment trying to justify this shitty behavior just because yall wouldn’t do it? You do realize that bpd is not a one fits all diagnosis right? People are different but still have bpd,some are aware they have it and don’t try to be better, some do and try to be better and be on meds. Y’all feeling personally victimized by this UA-camr calling out mentally abusive behavior that may be cause by bpd (which literally has statistics that prove that most people with bpd have violent and aggressive outbursts), you guys are somewhat acting like he said all people with bpd and stuff. Yall act like people with bpd are incapable of being abusive just because YOU WOULD NEVER. YALL need to literally grow up
You’re worthy of love ❤️ I didn’t like that comment either, I don’t have BPD but I know folks who do
@@thatbeaatcch9884 you need to learn to read. nobody try to justify anything. Mental health is neve an excuse. Having BPD is hard enough without having to face the fear and judgement of other people, so yeah the comment it hurtfull as often in situation like this BPD is given as an excuse for the abuse while the diagnostic is base on nothing real , just some assumption made by peoplee with no knowledge on what BPD is really
we dont feel personnaly victimize , we just want to be understood.
@@thatbeaatcch9884 Ken said that dating someone with bpd is literally setting yourself up for failure. Ken was the one who put us all under the same statement. I'd also love to see the statistics on the violent and aggressive behaviour. I live in Norway and here ppl with bpd struggle, but are rarely hurting anyone but themselves. Beeing 'triggered' because of a constant stigma beeing thrown around is perfectly normal. If you read the other coments not one person condones abuse.
my lord this autoplayed just now and this coverage of the story is disgusting. the constant lil giggles all throughout while listening to and reading the story was so hard to listen to. then every other moment they react to leads to them giving alex the benefit of the doubt as if the other 80+ pages didn’t exist. don’t know how you can do that while going from clip to clip AND segue into them in. way to treat a woman’s post about her abusive ex-partner as nothing but content and be so transparent about it. and that’s WHILE ignoring the bpd comment ken made since he already apologized for it.
"I'm just commenting on what's here" Oh, you mean 82 pages of abuse?
"I haven't pre-watched all this" Yeah, maybe you should have
Yeah imo Ken is a d-bag lmao. This isn't the 1st time he uses something as content and just laughs at it like it's drama not someone's real life
That comment about BPD was unneeded and disgusting. You are essentially saying that anyone who has a certain mental illness is an abject failure and undeserving of love. Both Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder (whichever was meant) are incurable and no one willingly has such debilitating and horrendous mental conditions that often ruin their interpersonal relationships and cause them immense pain.
19:48 having a relationship with someone who has BPD is usually fine, most people with it aren't massive abusers. Yeah its better when they get help and its more difficult when they don't but most relationships aren't just doomed all the time because of it.
Not excusing abusive behaviour obviously. If you're abusive then you're an asshole regardless of condition. But someone having a condition doesn't mean they'll always be an abusive asshole.
100% agree.
ye, kinda hurt hearing him say that honestly.
@@Evathechief Agreed. Incredibly disappointing.
Ken had a lot of ignorant takes in this video, along with much of his other videos
@@Evathechiefliterally have to unsubscribe because you can have experience without demonizing the disorder 🤷🏻♀️
it's like saying all my abusers having brown hair means all people with brown hair are abusers.. it's not true and it's weird 💀
Thank you for covering this Ken and Dane
Saying being in a relationship with someone with BPD is “setting yourself up for failure” is really harmful. No one chooses to have bpd. Some may choose not to work on it and do therapy but that’s different. BPD and some PTSD/cPTSD have overlapping symptoms as well so it’s harmful to say these things. You think someone who has gone through horrific trauma CHOSE to go through it? BPD is very misunderstood and often is misdiagnosed cPTSD.
Please don’t group bpd people with abusive people with bpd. I always see this and it just generally hurts every time. Alex made his desicion to abuse her, and even after calming down he chose to hurt her time and time again. That’s got nothing to do with bpd.
Unfortunately to most people, having BPD automatically means you're an abusive psychopath. It's a disgusting stereotype but it's commonly believed.
glad u said smth around 5:08 abt why ppl record things.. seen too many ppl attack victims when they don't have evidence but when they do they also call it suspicious that they were gathering evidence of their abuser !?!? It is so absurd
The fact they were both laughing about the situation as if it was a joke at the beginning of the video makes me truly uncomfortable. Truly disappointing.
Have you never seen one of their videos- they create levity and laugh when they're really uncomfortable. Also, dude GFT over yourself lmao they're UA-camrs, people are dying.
@@avwindowsanddours1344can you be one of them?
I was really scared to go into all of this evidence as abuse and manipulation terrifies me as someone who’s been manipulated before, so thank you for being with us guys ❤ this situation is awful, I feel for her and support her 100% I always found Alex’s personality off and I’m glad his previous friends are speaking out against him as I genuinely love them