Italians are often a blend of other ethnicities. If you’re Sicilian you have part African roots. My children appear as 1/2 white and black, when just looking at them and their parents, but according to their DNA tests, they are both more European than African, as well as Chinese and multiple Native American Tribes. So what are my children, they’re people, mixed with their Mom and Dad. That’s it. Their breakdown of ethnicities is irrelevant, people are always going to decide for you. I learned I’m obviously mixed because I have naturally brown loose curly hair, but I’m a dark brown Black woman. I didn’t know this wasn’t allowed. Oops.
I feel so read for filth by this video and I love it. 👏🏿 Great job articulating this understanding. I now swear I won't ask a stranger their ethnicity. Thank you for sharing!
I really appreciated your thoughts in this video. You explained the “what are you” question issue perfectly. I also liked that you touched on what it’s like not being engaged with a certain part of your family! A lot of people don’t realize that just because you’re mixed, doesn’t mean you experience the full extent of your ancestors culture; which can be due to a lot of things.
All I can say it wow, that was heart felt. I can completely relate to what you were saying. I am 1/4 black and 3/4 white and have had similar experiences as you described in this video. When you got into the whole topic surrounding the "What are you?" question I felt that. Whenever someone starts with that question, I get defensive in my mind. I've had that be the first question they ask of me and then once they find out my mix, that relationship is broken in some ways. I instantly don't trust them because that was the first question. Not even leading with the boring, "So, what do you do for a living?" I would much prefer that because then they are trying to get to know me. Good luck!
Very well said. I watched your video and related so much to what you said. As a woman over 60 working as a flight attendant for years. It is strange to ask someone "Would you like a beverage" on the plane. The person looks at me and says. "What are you?" I say a flight attendant asking you if you want a beverage. I move on to the next person. But like you said they persist. I find it so strange for someone's curiosity to outway their manners. I have cousins who are just as light as I and say they are black. My mother chose to move away and live in a white area. She told us to say we were French and Spanish. I never liked this and was jealous of my darker cousins who were clearly black. We were accused of being Mexican and everything but Creole which is what we are. My grandparents spoke French. I also speak French. When we were children my brother was so tired of being asked if he was Mexican he said yes. But then when I was in high school I was picked on. I never want to live anyone else's lie. I do not straighten my hair like my mother. My sisters and I moved away from my mother's town and lies. I live my truth. But I never answer strangers who come across the street to ask me personal questions. And just like on the plane they accuse me of being rude because I won't answer. I walk away. Only because I don't want the rest of what happens when they dig into my identity. As you have experienced. When I lived in Europe someone would ask me where I was from and I would say America that is all that was said. They also asked kindly and only because I had an accent. In America, they are trying to put me in a box and satisfy their racist interests. One time a man asked me while working first class. He would not leave me alone. I had the other FA serve him. He finally asked me if I knew what a Coonass was. It is unbelievable. Darker mixed race or more black people think we have it easy. If you look at history it was the light-skinned women on the plantation who worked in the house and was getting raped nightly. Had children no one accepted. Now we do not know our own kin. We all have had experiences. I am happy I was born when I was. I would not have wanted to be born 100 or 200 years ago in rural Louisiana. Everyone needs to understand we all have experiences. We all try to be the best we can. It is best to respect everyone and not judge someone on their lightness or darkness. Thank you again.
No way I could watch this video to the end without saying something. As a mixed male, I identify with everything you said, and social aspects I never thought of. Thank you for your time, and making this video.
I read this comment when I started watching the video and I was thinking " -.- tryna get a shout out huh".....but yooo 😢😢😢sorry cause I feel the same. I didn't know how much of an issue this was for mixed people and how deep it could get. So in honour of your thank you....Thank you Biana for sharing this with us it gave me much to think about.
It’s really only hurting (like she said) when asked within the first few minutes of meeting someone. It’s not hurtful to ask after really getting to know them as a person.
Growing up as a biracial kid I definitely felt different, and grew up in mostly white area. And the black part of my family is all the way in another state, so my mom's family is who I was around. Something that's weird to say is that I didn't feel black until high school, (or the obvious discrimination until high school) I'm a VERY oblivious person and I tend to not be able to see obvious things, but when I moved to all white town and there was just me and one other black person and my sister, thats when I started hearing a lot of questions and weird complements. I'm really light skinned but I'm not seen as white, usually I'm seen as "Mexican " or "Cuban" or Hispanic is some way by white people. Shoot more often then not Hispanic people start speaking Spanish to me out of nowhere and the thing is I DO KNOW a little Spanish because of high school. But as I was saying in high school I was part of the drama club and a week before our performance we had to do dress rehearsal and makeup... They didn't have foundation for my skin tone... MY SKIN ISN'T EVEN THAT DARK! This was like winter when I was usually at my palest. Later that year as the new girl people who ask me if I'm black and I would be labeled as the black friend and one thing that really ticked me off was this, someone found out I was HALF black and asked me if they could have HALF THE N-WORD PASS... you see I don't even think I should say it, also I think the term 'N-word pass' is not a real thing and is just a excuse to be racist. As I got older I realized how different I was treated, how racially biased people have been, and only recently I was told by my sister who is Mixed/biracial (because we have different dads she has some other ethnicity with her) as well, she said "do you remember we would be put in the back of the classroom a lot?" I told her I don't remember such thing but I realized I don't remember much at all from when I was younger, with my A.D.D my childhood is vague and also my mom did a good job at hiding that fact that the towns i grew up in saw me as a freak of nature that needed to seated away from the other students. ANYWAYS This video was refreshing in a way and I definitely learned a few things.
Jesus Christ, the "n-word pass." People of all ethnicities have debated whether or not I get the "pass" to say the n-word with varying conclusions (and it's usually one of the first things they bring up after asking my ethnicity! Fun!!). And I swear to god, part of the mixed experience is looking back on your childhood and being like, "...wait, that was fucked up." I'm so glad you liked the video ☺️
I’ve always hated the term acting black because that one term is filled with anti blackness…. What does a black person act like .. we are all different
Also Antiblackness is within everyone living on the planet earth… we are the naturally selected scapegoats… every race and ethnicity even black people … make hateful jokes about being black all the time… it’s embedded everywhere… black children as young as 3 years old know that they are black and will be treated as a black person… they would literally say I wish I was white
Very interesting, thank you for sharing! I personally say I'm biracial - 50% indian and 50% white. Often I feel like I don't fully fit into either group really. It's nice to hear other mixed experiences - we're by no means all in the same boat but there are underlying truths that all mixed people have to deal with regarding our identities. I heard someone say "I fit in everywhere and nowhere at the same time" and that's how I basically feel.
Love it. Your awesome we look alike. I'm Mexican- Indigenous- Irish and proud of my mixed race. Finally I am able to accept myself my whole face not just parts. ❤ Great video!
I’m 43 year old mixed heritage Caribbean and Irish. Thank you Biana, informative and truth felt. The last time I felt truly at peace in friendships was with another mixed heritage woman. I haven’t felt that level of kindred since. It is a unique experience to be ‘othered’ I really appreciate you also saying your not comparing it to blatant racism that darker skinned black people sadly have to face everyday.
Well done!!! Race is a social construct and people have been socialized to judge others based on phenotypes, even when their genotype percentage maybe different. Although my family is very mixed, I never considered myself as such. However, once I reach high-school and adulthood, I realized people had already made a decision of who I was. I also realized my ethnicity changes based on the country people are from.
I am all Black, but my hair is a smidge curlier than some. I used to get asked all the time from friends and strangers "what are you mixed with?" I would say i'm all Black. Their response 99.7% of the time was "no your not". This is a wild world we live in.
In the US, there is no such thing as a 100% African or black person. The difference between a typical black American and a mixed one (black/white) is that the black American is overwhelmingly of African descent, say 80% or above. For you to say things like "I am all black" will be funny to a typical black African who in fact is truly all black. In general, African Americans aren't "all black" even if both their parents and family are black and not mixed. You may not like it, but most likely there is some white in you and that could be expressed by things as a naturally curlier hair. Most African Americans descend from slaves taken to the US and most of these slaves didn't had straight or wavy hair.
@@NarcisoLantigua i’m going to assume by your reply that you are not of African-American descent. When I use the term “all Black” with African-American people, the understanding is that I am the descendent of an African who was brought to America and made a slave. To African-Americans, this is basic history and the distinction does not need to be made. No one thinks that I am saying I am from Africa nor do they think that I am #0,0,0,0,0,0 when I say “all Black”. When I am asked what I am mixed with, the assumption is that one of my parents are different from African-American. Black Africans do not refer to their self as Black Africans or Black for that matter. They refer to theirselves as African. They would not find it funny because if an African American referred to their self as Black, they understand what we mean. Lastly, I may not like how Black people were brought over here or how some of our descendants were forced to create mixed race babies, but I love myself 100%. You don’t have to question whether I like me, I love me. My skin color and the texture of my hair is part of my identity.
Thanks for sharing this. I came across it on a FB group where it raised a lot of discussion. My take on it is that you are very brave and honest for speaking on a topic that is bound to trigger people in many different ways. You give insight into the struggles of people like you, in particular, but really, into all of us in general. I understand how one may feel pulled in varying directions by the crazy making culture of racism. The fact that we can and do go through all of those questions and struggles, is our end of the experience of racism. The fact that so many people feel compelled, compelled, COMPELLED, to dissect and vivesect others in order to quell the quake inside themselves is racisms impact from the other side. We are all affected. I know that upi know that you are bound to attract a lot of criticsim and ire, but I hope you and your friend who wrote the theme songe, also recieve lots of loving compassion as well. I hope to be one among that number. It's so crazy, this world. Stay honest, strong, true to self. I'm a 60 year old FB auntie and I hear you, see you , love you! ❤ ( I'm from America - of African-American descent, from all the way back to the great great greats, one Native American great great, and that's as far back and and as much as we know - for what it's worth! 🙂 )
I think there is a big difference between the cultural discourse online and the discourse in society. People are better at recognizing that the issue of race isn’t literally black and white when they see you in person. I grew up believing I was white (Ashkenazi Jewish) with a Jewish mother from Colombia and a Jewish father from Brooklyn. Because I was perceived as different, I claimed my mother’s Colombian ethnicity even though she was white because it gave me an answer to that “what are you?” Question. The truth I was raised with did not match my appearance. Most people thought I was Mixed, light skin black, Dominican or Puerto Rican. As far as I knew, I was none of those things. So being able to point to my Mom helped a lot and allowed me to go decades without investigating myself further. I found out though after Ancestry DNA and confirmed with 24andMe that I am actually 1/2 black and 1/2 white with 40% West African DNA. In talking to black people about my story, the community had been very welcoming and accepting (and are never surprised). At the same time, I would feel a little weird wearing braids because I don’t have a full connection to that side of my identity. 9 months later, I am still figuring out how to define myself. I believe Mixed is my true identity. I am no specific race because I am made of 2 races and 3 cultures (Latin American, Jewish and African American).
This is so amazing. You've hit every nail on the head. I love this so much thank you,, even the struggles w ur mom about her being like just accept urself and ur like I CANT WHAT!!! And feeling attacked and so torn and like an outcast... yes!!! I hope we both get better w our identity
The only thing I hate about being multigenerationally mixed is people treat me differently based on the hairstyle I wear. If I wear afro textured hairstyles people are very mean, rude, impatient towards me but when I wear soft wavy Marcia Brady hair people are nice, helpful, patient and empathetic towards me.
Hi Biana! I'm a mixed (Black/White), and I'm 42 yrs. I have felt that I should embrace all of me, because to deny apart of me is harmful to me, not others. In the Bible, at Acts 10:34, 35, the scripture says God is not partial. You are beautiful the way God made you! 🥰🤗
your beauty is off the charts. Its like looking at the sun. I am proud of being mixed and to me, you look like the perfect blend. You are living proof of heterosis.
i'm going to likely amend this to be thorough and thoughtful in my response. im bi-racial black and white but have been ethnically ambiguous enough that this video is so important to me in subject matter & thoughtful presentation, i love it. i first paused the video at 23:20 i will always use "the american approach" as my first deflection for this line of questioning. my lineage is very far removed from our immigrant ancestors by many generations now i cant even keep track how many. after being pressed with more invasive questioning i make my own judgments on them and will proceed extra cautious in how im perceived by them. i will just resign and tell them "I'm black and white and have hispanic family through marriage" this is the easiest most honest answer to give. that said I never claim being hispanic because i was raised solely with the english language but was surrounded indirectly with the spanish language thru a step parent. after taking two years in school and befriending many mexican and mexican american people over the years. learning spanish allowed me to connect with my siblings latino family across the language barrier. most people who outright ask me are monoracially hispanic spanish speakers trying to gauge if they clocked me as a carribean or other afro latino diaspora. i've even had gas station attendants take me for middle eastern or indian after i lost my loose afro curled hair due to receding hairline as an adult. it used to be easy because my hair had most people correctly gauge me as mixed black but that is the most bizarre part of this journey through an inherently divided society. i never like the term "chameleon" i hate any term that tries to equate a person to an animal i'm not going to name the most common ones but you all know them cringeworthy fs. but i have been able to ease into many different scenes throughout my life from an academic sphere as a youth to subcultures like skaters and club kids to professional work environments. in the professional scene i have seen colorism, featurism, and texturism run rampant and being honest i have benefited from being lighter, with more european or north african/middle eastern features and less textured hair with a looser curl. that's really what made me leave that type of 9-5 work environment not only to escape being involved in systems that perpetuate white supremacy but mainly to be in a more present way for my daughter with part time work. it is very hard to talk about this stuff and i wish all you find a way to fit into your community in your own way
This was absolutely amazing! It’s not my pride to have but as a fellow mixed woman this resonated so much! Also what they call “black fishing” I call “mixed fishing” and I hate it. I’ve never had my mixedness challenged in such a way and been called a “white girl” until this era.
Asking "what are you" and "what's your ethinicity" is dehumanizing like why do you have to "sniff the negro out" like what!!! that's proper disgusting. I've been guilty of researching celebrities' ethnicity so I asked myself one day like "why am I so obssessed with knowing their race like why does it matter" and I started looking into a theory that I knew 2 years prior called the theory of racelessness which was coined by Dr. Sheena Mason and that was so liberating from that itch to know people's race as a monoracial black person. I try to see people's humanity first because that's all we truly are as race doesn't exist and is a racist concept from the get go so I try my best not to do that anymore and sometimes I cave in to that itch to know people's race but I'm still the process of reflecting on why I have this behavioural instinct.
One of my closest friends, we met way back in grade school. And it's ironic, their experiences as a mixed person and my experiences as a Jewish person... they're obviously not all the same and ultimately I'm very much still a fully white Jew, but it's wild how much we overlap in so many areas. I had the fortunate luck (heavy sarcasm here) of the gentile (which just means non-Jewish for those that don't know, no it is not a slur) side of my family, specifically my fathers side, marrying into another when I was very young. All of a sudden I had a very xtian minister of a step grandmother. And boom, any interaction I had with what remained of the small Jewish side just disappeared as people mysteriously stopped talking to me, disappeared after moving far away, or just passed away. My step grandmother was nice sure, but over the years I was so left out of my culture and my experiences because of her that I basically got no chances to learn anything. It didn't help that my parents were divorced too. The Jewish side slowly disappeared, and I was left in the dust being forced to attend xtian summer camps. Not to stamp the Jewish out of me, oh no never! Toootally not the intention... 😒 Now as an adult I'm desperately trying to reclaim that connection with this part of me, and every part of it feels so awkward, and not in the cutsey funny way. I'm too Jewish for my other gentile friends and family and talking about it with them feels strange, but I'm too 'gentile seeming' and unaware of basic Jewish experiences because of being kept away from them for lots of Jewish communities. In fact, I feel so much more at home with Jewish converts, just because they're also learning about everything just like I am. We talk a lot about both feeling alienated and lonely when it comes to our cultures. My friend talks about being too white for their black side, and too black for their white side. How they sometimes feel like a stranger no matter where they go, with no culture to really reclaim and take part in because they're not 'enough' of one thing to properly take part. Which is obviously bullshit, but they struggled with it for a long time, and still do. I can't look back at my Jewish heritage because well, you can probably guess at about what point in time it abruptly stops at and has no records of anymore. My friend can't look back on their Caribbean side because all the colonization and imperialism removed so much further family history and community. So we're here trying to scrap together what little we can. It feels really wonderful when they share something with me and I can share something with them in turn. At one point I found this one kids book with the two protagonists being a Caribbean immigrant and the other a Jewish kid (if I remember correctly), and we were just SO delighted because hey! That's us! It's not all the same of course, ultimately I'm still pale and white, and the specific racism that Jews of colour face cannot ever be downplayed. The horrible treatment that white Jews can and often do hurl at Jews of colour is just truly, truly disgusting and has gotta be stamped out. People act like the only Jews to exist are Eastern European, but we're everywhere with all sorts of experiences. Asia, Africa, the Middle East, South America, everywhere. But even though my Jewish-ness can make people side eye me, I don't get much harassment unless I happen to be wearing a Magen David or a kippah or something. My friend always gets invasive questions about their hair and skin which they can't change. Anyway enough talking about harassment it makes me feel awful to focus on!! It still feels really lovely to have those solidarity filled connections with people who understand what you're going through though. Me and my friend only ever gotten closer over the years too, and I'm so blessed to still have them in my life. My friend has learned a lot about Jewish experiences and I've learned about theirs being mixed. Thanks so much for posting this, and if someone reading this ever feels lonely and isolated too, I hope you have a really good warm day.
You poured your heart out in this video. Thank you sooo much for sharing and educating me💗💗💗 I watched the entire video from start to finish and harkened every word.
Thank you so much for making this video. I’m half Asian and have been reflecting on my experience being mixed here in the states. It’s a very confusing thing for me to explain sometimes and is hard to unpack but I appreciate you putting things I’ve experienced into words that can be described.
Listen to "Where Are You Really From?" here! ua-cam.com/video/Jj5Co8hw67g/v-deo.html Thank you all so much for your patience!!! And thank you for watching something that's hella different from my normal content. You guys are the best ☺️ Couple things I wanna point out real quick: 1) Please keep the comment section nice and respectful. Being mixed is a very personal, unique experience, so I know everyone is gonna have differing thoughts and opinions. Feel free to share whatever thoughts you have, but pLEASE do so in a way that doesn't antagonize others. 2) This video is NOT trying to answer any questions about mixed identity, such as, "Who are allowed to call themselves a POC?" There's no way that I (or frankly, anyone) could really answer that. This video is mostly me arguing /against/ the idea that any rules can be imposed on mixed identities. It's too nebulous a topic, and I'm tired of reading discourse about mixed identities that fails to look at the bigger picture. Like I state in the video and in the title, everything I say here is coming from my personal thoughts and experiences-nothing more, nothing less. Thank you again for watching and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts down below 😘
This is such a great video I love that you point out the disparity b/w phenotype and genetic %. I am majority white( mostly Italian with german, Norwegian, French, and Dutch and only 1/8 black and grew up thinking I was also 1/8 Cherokee. My mom considers herself a person of color she is creole( black and French from Louisiana) and has some Black and Dutch features. Because of genetics I have a skin tone the same color as my mom if not darker but no African features except I have the same muscle tone as all of my moms side of the family. People would always ask “what are you?” and I was a kid who grew up proud of all my cultures and would list them. People always thought I was Hispanic, which is funny b/c my partner is Brazilian and people now assume that I am as well. I know by featurism and texturism I am white. But my skin isnt white. When I was in Tahiti as a kid a local saw me and was convinced I was light skin Tahitian and that my parents were Italians adopting me. It’s crazy that people didn’t think either of my parents were biological. 😅
Nicely done, very well expressed. I'm a mixed American guy (white/black/Lenape Native) and since I'm 60+ have been living as "mixed" for a long time, in the PA/NJ region. All I can say is it wasn't uncomfortable for me, and most people, hearing I'm "part-black" as I put it, have been FINE with that, going back to the late 1960s. I think the fast-growing mixed population is the future of the US, and will become the norm eventually. Don't "choose as side," no matter what pressure you feel, just embrace all of your heritage & be a mixed American.
New here!! Great video!!! I can so relate to this! I’m a biracial woman (black and white) and I grew up in a predominantly black community …. And this was my entire childhood, “what are you” or “you must be adopted” … lol so ridiculous
Loved this video. You touched on topics only those of mixed lineage could bring to the fore. Im Gen X , and the rules def have changed in the last 10-15 yrs. I am the Black mom(don’t know white dad combo, my whole family is Black, whole experience was Black.. moved to the South in 04 and for first 10 yrs there was no weird intrigue. Since the skyrocketing of mixed kids phenomenon and the political landscape here in the South, Im feeling adrift. My mom even said to me “you always wanted to be Black”. That was 3 yrs ago. I am 60 yrs old😔
Excellent. This is so so true. It is like this in America!!! I have lived overseas and people are very different and not as racist as in America!!! Ignorant!!!! America has a long long way to go!!!!
I'm full somali and your life experience have been very similar to me, ive always considered myself black but a lot of experiences similar to your story about strangers and your friend made me think maybe I dont represent as monoracial as I do even though my parents are both african somali - its been difficult and a rude awakening yet in all life experiences I had (especially as a teen), i asserted I am black to strangers (mostly POC people) who tried to humiliate me (infront of a whole group of white people albeit) yet they didn't stop with futher questioning while everyone collectively listened in like I was a zoo animal
This is spot on. Thank you. It is true they don't know it's weird, and I just kept answering it my whole life. Don't fit in anywhere and the rest of society tries to act like they don't do this!
she puts this so well im a quarter black im mostly white I dont look like that though most people say I look latin im not at all none did the ancestry dna but there have been times where I just want to bw what people think I am ...you really do feel like a other
Rewriting the whole-ass comment that was erased when I scrolled down to read other comments... oh well. I just wanted to say I relate a lot with this video and it was great to watch such a well-thought-out discourse on things that have been on my mind a lot for years. I had put it off until yesterday because I knew it would be not just a time investment but more importantly an emotional one, but I'm really glad I watched it. I really relate with all the feelings of wondering if I'm really "of color" enough, or how to think of myself and my race. There's so much conflict between, on the one hand, how I saw myself as a child, how I was raised, how my mother has talked about my race and her own, and on the other hand, how people have perceived me throughout my life, what people say to me about my race, and just generally how people see mixed people. Another thing that has messed with me lately, and I'm wondering if you've also experienced because you said your fiancé is Colombian, is how perceptions of race in other countries are SO different from our U.S. American experience of race which is so influenced by our history of slavery, Jim Crow laws, and so on. I've found that Mexican culture is so much colorist than racist. My boyfriend often calls me white and I always have to decide whether to confront the culture clash and remind him I don't consider myself white, or conform to his view of pale skin = white. I wouldn't try to have that discussion with any other Mexican who calls me white (which, yes, it's happened a lot -- people are weirdly fixated on skin color), because it's just the difference between the cultures of two different countries, but with my boyfriend I feel like I need to explain it and justify it to him -- the history! the Way it Works! -- despite him just brushing it off as another case of America being weird.
Oh god yes, some of the most interesting conversations I've had about racism have been with my fiancé thanks to our completely different upbringings. There's a LOT I could say on this topic, but I'll attempt to make my thoughts brief: (watch me not be brief lmao) I do relate to your experience of your boyfriend calling you white when you're really not-up until I started working on this video, my fiancé called me white. This didn't really upset me, because when you look at the two of us, I look as white as they come (because context). But the reality is that I'm not. We've had many conversations about my ethnicity, how I view myself, and how others view me, and he now realizes that by calling me white, he's essentially invalidating a huge part of my identity. I've also come to realize that I feel more white around him because he is my daily "context." When we were long distance, I felt more mixed, whereas now living with him, I feel very distant from my mixed side. I'm grateful for this video because it's lead to a lot of revelations for myself and within our relationship. As for your thoughts on how other countries view the US-///sigh. It's very hard to speak on this since I only truly know American culture bUT I think in general, most countries view the US as this hideous, racist wasteland, which makes people from other countries a little...high and mighty. This is just my hot take, but I don't believe for a second that there is any part of the world that is a truly an anti-racist utopia. I think what separates the US from other countries is how blatantly obvious and violent our racism is, but that doesn't mean there isn't racism around the world. Racism can be subtle. Racism is insidious. Racism in other countries may not /seem/ as bad as in the US, but that's most likely because their racism is manifesting in a different way. I agree, I think Latin America in general is very colorist, but I'm not gonna let them off the hook and say they're less racist, /especially/ considering how colorist thinking so easily leads to racist policies. I really love your comment, and I'm glad you were able to connect with what I had to say ❤️ (Also kudos to you for rewriting your whole comment) And idk, if you're feeling a little bold, maybe share this video with your boyfriend. See what interesting conversations come out of it 👀
Thanks for doing this video. I am from Latin America and moved as a teenager to the USA. In my country I was not used to such question, so it was weird to me and couldn’t understand it. I will get ask what are you, often by strangers. I understood it as where I was from and when I would say my country, they will look at me upset and ask same question. Eventually I figure out that people in USA want to know colors. Years later after growing tire of this question, I tried explaining then my ancestry, problem is I am a very mix person. In my country everyone from my country regardless of their ancestry considers themselves from my country. Hopefully one day same will happen in the USA but mind sets have to change.
the level of insights in this video is incredible! I’m not somebody from America, so even though i know of the never ending racism in that country, that’s it, i only know “of” it. Thank you for educating me of your perspective and experiences 🤍
*Biana Bova* I love that you pointed out this asking of your race. I've had people ask me if I'm biracial (i'm not but of course light-skin blacks are multigenerational mixed). It doesn't annoy me but I can see how others get annoyed of that. Like, why can't we just be human?
My one massive annoyance with curiousity in one's ethnicity, especially for those with black features as myself is asking if you are mixed and touching hair that has more curl then theirs. High key weird to have people getting into your space as if you are an exhibit. Spot on about the caricature statement, as this validation to be right about fitting you in a box, dissecting your existence is a mental victory.
Genotype and Phenotype-great topic! Most discussions on mixed or biracial people focus on white-passing, or at least non-black passing. As a mixed person who has black features and appears black (think Zendaya/the “black” twin on NG) it is frustrating when people doubt my mixed heritage based on their perceptions. I agree with the feeling of having to surrender my identity based on what people think. Just thought I’d add my 2 cents.
Awesome video. I disgree with the Zendaya M.M. comment. Zendaya seems more open and verbal about her mixed ethnicity and she hasnt shyed away from experimenting with braided black styles. Megan Markle plays is very safe in more white hairstyles always. There were negative comments about Zendayas dreadlocks by Giuliana Rancic which i kind of remember. I think its cause Megan seems to identify more as white.
Biana, I feel like there's so much I could say in this comment, but I really don't wanna write an essay on my whole life story right now, I just want to let you know that you released this video at the perfect time for me, personally. I've always been enthralled by things like genealogy, ancestors, and different cultures, but never have felt like I myself belonged anywhere. On the surface, racially I'm a tan black guy. But does this mean I feel a strong connection to black culture? Not really in the slightest. I've commonly been denoted as the "white-black guy" in groups. But, due to things like slavery and weak familial connections, that's all I've really ever been able to call myself. I mean word was thrown around that we've got Armenian on my maternal side, but that was only recently confirmed to a degree through an Ancestry DNA test last year, where I also found out that my ancestors were just all over the place. To call myself black...all that speaks about to me is the pigment of my skin. It doesn't hold the same weight that it does to say you come from a specific country with a rich history, and being proud of that. Both of my grandfathers were biracial (And adopted), and as it stands, my DNA is mostly in West Africa, but the other 33 percent lies in European/Eurasian/Middle Eastern countries. That's a whole THIRD of me, so at this point, I'm gonna start to identify as mixed. But does this solve my cultural dysphoria of sorts? Well, no. Because in my ancestry, I still lack concentration, so even though I'm most enthralled by my Armenian and Middle Eastern roots, can I really claim that when it only makes up about 18 percent of my genealogy? I’m not black enough for black people (...or anyone really, for what it means with the “acting black” crap), genetically I feel like I wouldn’t pass as a “true” Armenian, I definitely don’t look white in the slightest, oh, and let’s just add being a social outcast on top of all of that! I’ve always just yearned for a feeling of connection, to be part of a community with genetic ties, a big, loving family. But the only people I really know on a personal level are my mother and older sister, and I’ve disowned my paternal side altogether. Did I mention my sister has a different father? This whole family tree of mine is just convoluted and shrouded in mystery. But, I know that the universe will guide me well, because it led me to this video. So I guess this comment was still a bit long, but thank you for coming out with this video, Biana. I can truly connect to your content on a deeper level now.
I hear you.Feelings of displacement are common in todays world, regardless of race or racial mix. So you’re not alone, even if that’s the way you feel. Learning how to create deeper ties to others, whether groups or individuals, can be very helpful. These need not be genetic ties in order to bring a sense of community. The most direct way to actually create genetic ties of course is to have children. Connections to others is an important part of emotional wellbeing.
You wanna know the kick in the head, for me, as a Jamaican; I see wearing locks as a fashion ON ANYBODY, as cultural appropriation. Why? Because growing up as a child, the only ones who wore locks were Rastafarians and it was done with a very specific purpose in mind and FASHION wasn't it. People literally lost their lives for wearing their hair like that, so when I saw Americans wearing it who were NOT Rasta, it was weird to me. Meanwhile, in Jamaica, anyone could be Rasta and wear locks. We have Euro rastas, Chinese Rastas, mixed Rastas, Indian Rastas. HELL! most people don't even realize that we got locks from EAST INDANS in the first place! Anyone can get their hair braided. Why do you think there's all those women braiding tourists hair on the beaches? We don't have a problem with this idea that only certain people can wear certain hair styles. If it looks good on you, go on with your bad self! And the other thing...... Don't Africans have anything of value to offer to the World? Really, thank about it. Why is it wee don't see a problem with wearing a straight blond weave on an African woman? It's because that's considered the standard of beauty that should be emulated. Why doesn't it work the other way around? I live in the USA now, in an area that's ethnically very mixed. We have our hood, and our hood is mixed too. I see Euro women who grew up in that environment and are part of the community wearing braids ALL THE TIME and no fks are given! But best believe outside the hood there's a lot of people who will see them as lowering their status in society for doing it and SJWs accusing them of appropriation. What we fail to realize is how freakish our society is. It's not normal that the way you wear your hair, or the music you listen to or the foods you eat are different based on the color of your skin. As a Jamaican, I find our society WEIRD! Not saying Jamaica is a racial paradise, but the idea that you only live in certain areas, not because you can afford to, but because of your skin tone????? THAT'S FREAKISH!
Thank you. I have similar experiences. The thing is that there is not a lot of multiracial men that seem to get to be partnered with multiracial women because so many people do not want to be worried about which "side" they're on in the racial spectrum.
I’m trying to unpack myself own ancestry. With the fact my great grandfather knew people who knew his for lack of a better term his black ancestors. But due to plantations his great grandmother was herself mixed. I’m “white” but have clearly not white hair. A throwback of sorts. I cannot erase that part of my family. It grows out of my head. My mother’s very racist family (step relatives and her blood relatives) saw me as “black” because they believed in the one drop policy. The complexity of my grandmother being scared of being seen as black and her grandchild not caring. Myself not knowing/caring being triggering to her.
THis was incredibly well written and explains every side of this debate i've had internally. Thanks for synthesising it and letting it take up half your year. I will be referring people to it whenever I don't feel like answering their question. I need to make cards with the video info and a 'congrats, I don't have time for your question' stamp. Just substitute the 'insert mix here' everything else, same thoughts.
Being very mixed myself I understand all of this, my father is Dominican, Spanish and Venezuelan mixed with European, middle eastern, and Native American, my mother is Jamaican who is mixed with European, African, Asian and Native American. Growing up I always got asked “what are you?” And even now as a grown adult I see other people in public stare at me like I’m some sort of exotic bird, it’s sad that I’ve had to get used to this, also I grew up with a lot of identity issues I never got to latch on to my other cultures other than the Spanish culture. I agree however, I’m tired of people trying to play “guess my race” all the time, it’s honestly it’s infuriating.
I can relate so much to this. You're so eloquent and everything you said makes so much sense. I'm not good with words, so if someone is curious about this aspect of my life and why it bothers me, I'll send them to you.
My father is black, my mother is Seminole, Cherokee, and European Portuguese (I make the European distinction, only because sometimes people assumes that Portuguese meant she was Brazilian, which is actually spelled Brasil, stop spelling it Brazil; I digress). I look more black, than Native American. Some of my relatives have official recognition in the Seminole Tribe of Florida, though most don't. It's not that we can't gain enrollment, we just choose not to enroll. I've had a few online disputes with individuals regarding Native American enrollment. Let's make it perfectly clear, Federal enrollment records (Dawes Roll), and being officially recognized as a Nation's member, are not necessarily the same. A family or an individuals name may appear on one set of records, but not necessarily others. Having said that, my heritage gets questioned sometimes, in the case of other black people. There seems to be a resentment, when I acknowledge my Native American heritage. They tend to think, I'm trying to evade being black. I'm not evading acknowledging my "blackness", I look black. However, I'm not trying to present myself as being better than other black people, by acknowledging my Native American heritage. The "one dop blood rule'' has been used for generations, to exclude blacks of Native American heritage from rights guaranteed to Native American people. That's a complicated subject to big, for my comment to address. Personally I don't get many questions about my ethnicity. Most people see me, and just perceived me as black (even if they suspect I'm biracial/multiracial). As I expressed earlier in my comment, what I get, are the people who flat out, don't want me acknowledging my Native American heritage.
Pure truth. You're beautiful. We look alike but I'm more black genetically. I look more white than black. Some people can't tell I'm part black. Most can. People speak to me in their language and expect me to understand, and I should since my heritage is part theirs too. I realized as an older person that race is not real. It is a lie that has some truth and some falsehoods, as most effective lies do. What is real is my ( our) humanity. I love how you explained the way we can never pick a race. It's not possible for people like us to pick a race. We do not get to have that privilege. We are denied our humanity to an extent as humanity is mostly defined by which ethnic group we belong to. I realize that claiming my only race to be " the human race", creates an even larger controversy and likely causes people to be even more angry with me than they already are. For people like us, there may never be a right answer. Therefore, for the sake of my mental wellbeing, I have chosen to get off the race merry go round. From now on when people ask me what race or ethnicity I am, the answer will be...." I do not discuss "race" with strangers".
I’ve spent this entire video trying to figure out who you remind me of, and it’s Danelle Hallan here in UA-cam. There’s something about the two of you that feels similar. Great video!
This video was very real. As a light skinned Brazilian, the issue of race and ethnicity suddenly gained much importance when I came to the US. Brazil is deeply racist, or more precisely colorist. The myth of “racial democracy” was the mainstream message we were conditioned to believe for almost a century. In some ways, the lack of rigid racial groups and prevalent mixing meant that the definition of Brazilian was broad. Racism against darker people exists in a spectrum there. However, “where are you really from,” is just not much of a thing in Brazil (except perhaps for 1st generation immigrants with a noticeable accent). Here I’m asked that all the time because people can’t quite categorize my ethnicity. Genetically I’m mainly Portuguese, with 1/8 African and a bit native. I just don’t look white enough, and perhaps a bit Middle eastern. I also sense people feel more at ease when they discover I’m Brazilian, perhaps because they now have a neat box to catalogue me in.
Your comment reminded me of a conversation I had with my Colombian fiancé. I was griping about racial issues and said something like, "If everyone made mixed babies, racism would be over." And he just looked at me and goes, "That's literally the entire south american continent. And there's still racism." Shut my ass up real quick 😅😂
Omg yes…my hair is very curly it’s about 3b-3c and I would love to wear my hair in braids it’s beautiful but I really don’t want to be called out as culturally appropriating and have to explain myself and deal with an argument but at the end of the day it’s a protective style and it would be great to be able to connect with that part of me
I'm mixed, have been various shades in my life to super pale to rather tan. I used to feel as you did but now I wear my hair as I please. Its hair, its not a big deal. I do get snide comments and side glances from black women or white women looking at me like " is she allowed to wear her hair like that"? And as of right now I'm caramel in complexion but it could be my green eyes or facial features that make people question. So really do you and stop worrying about others.
@@peacebeyondpassion2 well its cultural sweetheart. that's important. you don't want to disrespect people cultural identity. be respectful... yea, it is their business.... BUT if these women here are half black it's important for them to express that side of themselves too.
I’m Mexican and Sicilian with some black ancestors, but I look very Mediterranean, most people assume I’m Middle Eastern. I was raised to not ask people personal questions; I would never ask a stranger what her ethnicity is, how much money she makes, where she works-it’s none of my business. Someone asked me where I was from, I said, “The Bronx, is that a problem?” Immediately backed off. Ignore the asśholes you encounter, the world is full of them.
I'm very interested in the more Black-passing/ Minority-passing mixed people. I, as a Black-White mixed person, am not exactly black or white passing which is why people end up catergorzing me as light middle eastern, hispanic, or a reeeallly light black person. I sit exactly in the middle so I would love to see this same video but for Black-passing people. I share alot of the same experiences especially the "you are an other" part but those tiny microaggressions were much more aggressive. Not physical aggression but systematic discrimination especially in school. Of course my experiences will never be as bad but its interesting for sure
If you're in Asia, they will ask you even if you're Asian. They will also ask your age, if u're married or not. Culture thing really. So if an Asian living abroad randomly ask u where are u from and all that stuffs, just have in the back of ur head that they might be influenced by their Asia cultures
When I know someone is Mixed and especially when Mixed with Black, their percentages don't matter to me. I just know when I see Black hairstyles on people I think are White in real life, I assume they are Mixed and keep it pushing, lol. Meghan Markle's children are Mixed. They are precious cuties.
Oh boy. I too have a lot of mixed race problems to unpack so I’ll try not to leave an essay in your comments section lol. I am made up of an entirely different pie chart to you, so to speak, (four of my great grandparents are from Japan, one was born in England, one in Scotland, one in Ireland, and one on the Six Nations Reserve in Canada) but a lot of the things you said still really resonated with me. I already left a comment on Instagram about how I had started watching the video and appreciated it, but I had barely scratched the surface. This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I literally cried watching this video. The things you said about only having a distant connection to the non-white part of your ethnicity really hit home for me. If you’re familiar with Canada’s history of residential schools, well, you can probably guess what comes next. It isn’t like I can blame my family for what happened seeing as they were going up against an institution that was quite literally designed to strip away their culture and that the were lucky to even make it out alive. But it’s still painful knowing that anyone who knew anything about that part of my ethnicity is gone and that part of my identity is potentially gone forever. When you talked about having your mom do your hair, it was crazy, I felt like I knew exactly what you meant, even if I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt that way. I can totally understand why you feel like it’s unacceptable for you to do your hair that way now, but I feel like if that’s something you do without ever showing anyone then there’s no harm in making a private connection. That being said there are loads of people who are far more qualified to make that call than me. I’ve had people tell me that it’s not like your ethnicity defines your identity and obviously I know that. I spend a lot more time worrying about my illustration portfolio than my mixed race identity, but it still matters and I don’t think that’s wrong. The best analogy I can think of would be that I feel like a puzzle someone bought at a garage sale that has a lot of pieces missing. Like I’ll keep growing up and learning about myself, but I’ll never be able to fill in the entire puzzle. Maybe that’s a little bit melodramatic lol. All I can say is the best thing that has helped me with understanding my own clusterfuck identity is to “own it” so to speak. I don’t mean that in like a public or performative way, but like as a sort of private declaration to yourself. I have a lot of “hybrid” sort of identity traits being mixed race, bi, somewhere on the ace spectrum (I’m still figuring that one out), an agnostic, and someone who does basically everything (academics, sports, art, etc), so I’m very used to not really fitting anywhere. The best thing I’ve found is just to privately tell yourself that you are what you are and eventually you start to believe it and you start to own it as part of your identity. Thank you for making this video, it was incredibly informative and I’m sorry for my year long comment.
I love this comment so much, thank you for taking the time to share your story😭💕 The puzzle metaphor is spot on. There's no way to get your history, family members, or cultural connection back which leads to feelings of despair and ennui. Why even bother putting pieces together if you'll never have a finished image? When my family found out we were part middle eastern and not native american, it was like a shockwave went through the family tree. I haven't personally talked to my aunts and uncles about it, but from what I've gathered from my mom, every single family member who got the news was shocked and kind of...hurt. We had so little family history to begin with, that to find out that the /one thing/ we had was completely wrong felt like someone took the wind out of us. We were, and still are, so dejected. It's difficult explaining to people how it feels to not have any ancestral connection. Like you said, our ethnicity and culture isn't /really/ a big part of our lives, so it shouldn't /technically/ affect us, but it's always lingering in the back of our minds. More than anything, I wanted to make this video so I could connect with others that are in the same boat. It can be very lonely being mixed, but I do feel comfort talking to others, like yourself, who understand. Thank you ❤️
Excellent, thank you. And that opening!! Love it. u got a new sub just from that rather beautiful version of the effing line "but where are you REALLY from". Yep, people still c race & colour 1st...sigh....love from a mixed woman from London. Can't be bothered to explain the details of 'mixed' 😅💙
i’m white i really cringed at myself remembering the few times i’ve asked someone’s ethnicity i don’t know that well in the past, thanks for letting me know to shut my mouth i feel so bad i might have made people uncomfortable.
It’s actually not a big deal at all. Some ppl are super sensitive especially if they are ashamed of their non white side. I’m mixed and people ask me what I am all the time. I never ever get offended.
@@calaragazza3556 my area is SUPER diverse, like white people are the minority here, so i hope that because of that no one was upset because they’re ashamed of their ethnicity because it’s so normal here. like both primary school and secondary school my head teachers have been women of colour, there were like maybe 7 white kids in my class in primary most people were caribbean or pakistani and now my school is mainly turkish. i’m super privileged to have grown up like that cause it’s like no one ever had to sit me down and tell me that it’s bad to say the n word like i always just knew i can’t say that, shit like that you know, so i see white influencers who’ve said it being like “i was a dumb kid!” and i’m like how is it even possible that you didn’t know that isn’t okay? but still, i feel shitty for being ignorant i guess, like i can remember once asking an asian boy i go to school with “where are you from” when we were chatting, and like duh, he’s from here, he was probably born in the same hospital as me, so he said something like “i’m from here…” and i was like oh shit i’m the worst cause what i meant was what’s your ethnicity but like phrasing shit like that is probably so othering, still makes me feel gross hah.
@@mallbratgirl_3005 asking an Asian kid where he’s from isn’t offensive in my opinion. But I can see how some overly sensitive ppl might get offended. Ppl ask me this constantly. They ask where I’m from, what’s my ethnic background, my race….I have never once been upset about it because ppl are curious. If ppl can’t tell what you are then they ask. Black, white, Asian, Latino, middle eastern ppl have all asked me this. I live in NYC and there’s not a week that goes by that I’m asked about my ethnic background. I’m very proud of all ethnic sides of me so I think that’s why I don’t care. Not sure why the mixed chick in this video is so upset about it. She clearly looks mixed
@@calaragazza3556 yeah you’re from a similar city to me then, i’m from london and i feel like people aren’t that sensitive about it here. idk though i guess everyone’s different so i shouldn’t assume.
Girl I relate to EVERYTHING you said. I'm also 3/4 white 1/4 black and I don't even know wtf I am. At this point when people ask about what I am where I'm from etc I want to start asking them "why?" Also, I recently started wearing the hijab so nobody has the option to judge me off my hair. I'm not a mixed person anymore but I am now seen as a middle eastern, Indian or Arabian. So it's a whole other experience. I can say that I prefer people seeing me as middle eastern because at least they're not so curious and confused. But yes it's so weird how my heritage doesn't matter to people it's only based off looks. Im not white passing, I have medium brown skin and dark curly-ish hair and brown eyes. I literally gave up trying to figure myself out in this regard. 🤷🏾♀️ Thank you for this video.
THE LAST SEGMENT OMG. I relate so much of this, it's been SO CONFUSING. I know I'm not fully white but also struggle to identify with my heritage as my mom was an orphan raised by white foster parents. Sigh.. I just always felt othered. And even know don't even know if I should identify as biracial?
I’m black, indigenous, and white, I’m multigenerationally mixed so both my parents look a racially ambiguous. My dad often gets mistaken for being Asian or Hispanic and my mom looks more black, as a result I came out looking pretty ambiguous too. Since I was little I’d often get the question “what are you” or “where are you from” as well. I never really knew how to answer and it always felt so awkward because I didn’t want to have to explain my whole ancestry, but I would always get a little bit of disbelief when just identifying as black. I was always nervous to identify as mixed because I’m multigenerationally mixed which isn’t as talked about or acknowledged as much as being biracial and I didn’t want people to think I was claiming to be biracial when I wasn’t. Recently I’ve started identifying as mixed because it saves me the time of having explain myself to people I don’t know very well and people usually just move on after that point because I look pretty mixed. I do still get a little worried about being judged for how I identify and if I’m identifying in the wrong way.
Thanks for sharing. I guess I never really cared much about this topic mostly because my family is full of different hues and mixes. My grandma was very white in complexion, but considered herself black and not mixed race, which I’m sure she was. She lived in Nebraska in the 30, and 40s. Growing up she was made fun of a lot for her freckles and pale skin. I’m sorry you’ve had shitty experiences concerning people wondering about who you are. I can see how that shit would suck. And, my friend who is Navajo has worn box braids, and I personally thought they looked cute on her. I don’t care how ppl wear there hair no matter the race. Also, I have a mixed child (black&white), and she looks at her skin as white, because it looks like her dads. She’s mostly around my family and she sees her dads family sometimes, but she doesn’t have any issues with her hair (curly like mine) or skin. She’s also 4, so if she does feel any issues as she gets older, I really hope I can help her with it. Thanks again for sharing. Sorry i honestly assumed you were Italian mix because of your name, and I’ve never cared because I originally watched this channel for art.
In your grandmas time she would have been considered black hence why she called herself such but there would have been an obvious privilege from looking the way she did navigating during that time .
Ah a fellow red haired mixed person. I'm only 1/8 non white but still I understand a bit. Sometimes people can tell I'm not just white, probably because my non white part is pretty prominent where I live.
I ususally don't mind being asked my ethnic background cuz it frustrates me even more when people just assume they know. Funny thing is, west africans will go out of their way to point out my phenotype! The women tell me that if I was in africa, I wouldn't be seen as "one of them." The men tell me they want me and other women who look like me. Whereas, east africans see me and tell me I would blend in with them just fine, both men and women. So, obviously I can be seen as african, just the ones from the east! Thing is...I'm light skinned (mexican american and black american mixed) born and raised in Indiana. Go figure...
stranger: What are you mixed with?
Me: My mom and dad
people are going to be curious though, don't take it badly.
Yes!! Good answer
Ha! My answer and the answer if I’m asked about my children.
Italians are often a blend of other ethnicities. If you’re Sicilian you have part African roots. My children appear as 1/2 white and black, when just looking at them and their parents, but according to their DNA tests, they are both more European than African, as well as Chinese and multiple Native American Tribes. So what are my children, they’re people, mixed with their Mom and Dad. That’s it. Their breakdown of ethnicities is irrelevant, people are always going to decide for you. I learned I’m obviously mixed because I have naturally brown loose curly hair, but I’m a dark brown Black woman. I didn’t know this wasn’t allowed. Oops.
Thank you for making this video.
I feel so read for filth by this video and I love it. 👏🏿 Great job articulating this understanding. I now swear I won't ask a stranger their ethnicity. Thank you for sharing!
I really appreciated your thoughts in this video. You explained the “what are you” question issue perfectly. I also liked that you touched on what it’s like not being engaged with a certain part of your family! A lot of people don’t realize that just because you’re mixed, doesn’t mean you experience the full extent of your ancestors culture; which can be due to a lot of things.
All I can say it wow, that was heart felt. I can completely relate to what you were saying. I am 1/4 black and 3/4 white and have had similar experiences as you described in this video. When you got into the whole topic surrounding the "What are you?" question I felt that. Whenever someone starts with that question, I get defensive in my mind. I've had that be the first question they ask of me and then once they find out my mix, that relationship is broken in some ways. I instantly don't trust them because that was the first question. Not even leading with the boring, "So, what do you do for a living?" I would much prefer that because then they are trying to get to know me. Good luck!
Very well said. I watched your video and related so much to what you said. As a woman over 60 working as a flight attendant for years. It is strange to ask someone "Would you like a beverage" on the plane. The person looks at me and says. "What are you?" I say a flight attendant asking you if you want a beverage. I move on to the next person. But like you said they persist. I find it so strange for someone's curiosity to outway their manners. I have cousins who are just as light as I and say they are black. My mother chose to move away and live in a white area. She told us to say we were French and Spanish. I never liked this and was jealous of my darker cousins who were clearly black. We were accused of being Mexican and everything but Creole which is what we are. My grandparents spoke French. I also speak French. When we were children my brother was so tired of being asked if he was Mexican he said yes. But then when I was in high school I was picked on. I never want to live anyone else's lie. I do not straighten my hair like my mother. My sisters and I moved away from my mother's town and lies. I live my truth. But I never answer strangers who come across the street to ask me personal questions. And just like on the plane they accuse me of being rude because I won't answer. I walk away. Only because I don't want the rest of what happens when they dig into my identity. As you have experienced. When I lived in Europe someone would ask me where I was from and I would say America that is all that was said. They also asked kindly and only because I had an accent. In America, they are trying to put me in a box and satisfy their racist interests. One time a man asked me while working first class. He would not leave me alone. I had the other FA serve him. He finally asked me if I knew what a Coonass was. It is unbelievable. Darker mixed race or more black people think we have it easy. If you look at history it was the light-skinned women on the plantation who worked in the house and was getting raped nightly. Had children no one accepted. Now we do not know our own kin. We all have had experiences. I am happy I was born when I was. I would not have wanted to be born 100 or 200 years ago in rural Louisiana. Everyone needs to understand we all have experiences. We all try to be the best we can. It is best to respect everyone and not judge someone on their lightness or darkness.
Thank you again.
No way I could watch this video to the end without saying something.
As a mixed male, I identify with everything you said, and social aspects I never thought of. Thank you for your time, and making this video.
That was a really well presented and thoughtful video, thank you for sharing it with us
I never realized how hurtful this question would be to some people. Thank you so much for educating me on this topic 🥰
I read this comment when I started watching the video and I was thinking " -.- tryna get a shout out huh".....but yooo 😢😢😢sorry cause I feel the same. I didn't know how much of an issue this was for mixed people and how deep it could get. So in honour of your thank you....Thank you Biana for sharing this with us it gave me much to think about.
Also thank you @238Tina1 for taking the lead 😂
I don't see why anyone would think that question was respectable.
It’s really only hurting (like she said) when asked within the first few minutes of meeting someone. It’s not hurtful to ask after really getting to know them as a person.
Growing up as a biracial kid I definitely felt different, and grew up in mostly white area. And the black part of my family is all the way in another state, so my mom's family is who I was around. Something that's weird to say is that I didn't feel black until high school, (or the obvious discrimination until high school) I'm a VERY oblivious person and I tend to not be able to see obvious things, but when I moved to all white town and there was just me and one other black person and my sister, thats when I started hearing a lot of questions and weird complements. I'm really light skinned but I'm not seen as white, usually I'm seen as "Mexican " or "Cuban" or Hispanic is some way by white people. Shoot more often then not Hispanic people start speaking Spanish to me out of nowhere and the thing is I DO KNOW a little Spanish because of high school. But as I was saying in high school I was part of the drama club and a week before our performance we had to do dress rehearsal and makeup... They didn't have foundation for my skin tone... MY SKIN ISN'T EVEN THAT DARK! This was like winter when I was usually at my palest. Later that year as the new girl people who ask me if I'm black and I would be labeled as the black friend and one thing that really ticked me off was this, someone found out I was HALF black and asked me if they could have HALF THE N-WORD PASS... you see I don't even think I should say it, also I think the term 'N-word pass' is not a real thing and is just a excuse to be racist. As I got older I realized how different I was treated, how racially biased people have been, and only recently I was told by my sister who is Mixed/biracial (because we have different dads she has some other ethnicity with her) as well, she said "do you remember we would be put in the back of the classroom a lot?" I told her I don't remember such thing but I realized I don't remember much at all from when I was younger, with my A.D.D my childhood is vague and also my mom did a good job at hiding that fact that the towns i grew up in saw me as a freak of nature that needed to seated away from the other students.
ANYWAYS
This video was refreshing in a way and I definitely learned a few things.
Jesus Christ, the "n-word pass." People of all ethnicities have debated whether or not I get the "pass" to say the n-word with varying conclusions (and it's usually one of the first things they bring up after asking my ethnicity! Fun!!). And I swear to god, part of the mixed experience is looking back on your childhood and being like, "...wait, that was fucked up."
I'm so glad you liked the video ☺️
Bullshit
No such thing as feeling black
BIRACIALS ARE ANNOYING LOST & CONFUSED YALL BEING AROUND ONLY WHYTE HAVE MESSED UP LIVES
@@LoveMafaeIM BLAQ I LIVE IT I DEFINITELY FEAL BLAQ I HAVE A LOT OF SOUL BORN WITH IT NOTT CONFUSED LIKE THESE BIRACIALS ITS A SHAME
I’ve always hated the term acting black because that one term is filled with anti blackness…. What does a black person act like .. we are all different
Also Antiblackness is within everyone living on the planet earth… we are the naturally selected scapegoats… every race and ethnicity even black people … make hateful jokes about being black all the time… it’s embedded everywhere… black children as young as 3 years old know that they are black and will be treated as a black person… they would literally say I wish I was white
+++++
Very interesting, thank you for sharing! I personally say I'm biracial - 50% indian and 50% white. Often I feel like I don't fully fit into either group really. It's nice to hear other mixed experiences - we're by no means all in the same boat but there are underlying truths that all mixed people have to deal with regarding our identities. I heard someone say "I fit in everywhere and nowhere at the same time" and that's how I basically feel.
Love it. Your awesome we look alike. I'm Mexican- Indigenous- Irish and proud of my mixed race. Finally I am able to accept myself my whole face not just parts. ❤
Great video!
I’m 43 year old mixed heritage Caribbean and Irish. Thank you Biana, informative and truth felt. The last time I felt truly at peace in friendships was with another mixed heritage woman. I haven’t felt that level of kindred since. It is a unique experience to be ‘othered’ I really appreciate you also saying your not comparing it to blatant racism that darker skinned black people sadly have to face everyday.
Thank you for sharing all of this!! 💜💜💜
Make more mixed content girl :D this video made my life
Well done!!! Race is a social construct and people have been socialized to judge others based on phenotypes, even when their genotype percentage maybe different. Although my family is very mixed, I never considered myself as such. However, once I reach high-school and adulthood, I realized people had already made a decision of who I was. I also realized my ethnicity changes based on the country people are from.
Stop your bullshit about social construct. Race is defined in the genes.
thank you for pulling me back from the edge today.
This video was so eye opening for me I subscribed to your channel. Thank you!
Your video is so well made... I identify with everything that you’re talking about. Thank you ! You’ve gained a subscriber
I am all Black, but my hair is a smidge curlier than some. I used to get asked all the time from friends and strangers "what are you mixed with?" I would say i'm all Black. Their response 99.7% of the time was "no your not". This is a wild world we live in.
I have curly hair and brown eyes. People always told me a had to mixed with the black culture and also I like rap music and love to dance.
Lier
In the US, there is no such thing as a 100% African or black person. The difference between a typical black American and a mixed one (black/white) is that the black American is overwhelmingly of African descent, say 80% or above. For you to say things like "I am all black" will be funny to a typical black African who in fact is truly all black. In general, African Americans aren't "all black" even if both their parents and family are black and not mixed.
You may not like it, but most likely there is some white in you and that could be expressed by things as a naturally curlier hair. Most African Americans descend from slaves taken to the US and most of these slaves didn't had straight or wavy hair.
@@NarcisoLantigua i’m going to assume by your reply that you are not of African-American descent. When I use the term “all Black” with African-American people, the understanding is that I am the descendent of an African who was brought to America and made a slave. To African-Americans, this is basic history and the distinction does not need to be made. No one thinks that I am saying I am from Africa nor do they think that I am #0,0,0,0,0,0 when I say “all Black”. When I am asked what I am mixed with, the assumption is that one of my parents are different from African-American. Black Africans do not refer to their self as Black Africans or Black for that matter. They refer to theirselves as African. They would not find it funny because if an African American referred to their self as Black, they understand what we mean.
Lastly, I may not like how Black people were brought over here or how some of our descendants were forced to create mixed race babies, but I love myself 100%. You don’t have to question whether I like me, I love me. My skin color and the texture of my hair is part of my identity.
Unless you are from Africa, you are not full black especially when you live in the USA
Thanks for sharing this. I came across it on a FB group where it raised a lot of discussion. My take on it is that you are very brave and honest for speaking on a topic that is bound to trigger people in many different ways. You give insight into the struggles of people like you, in particular, but really, into all of us in general. I understand how one may feel pulled in varying directions by the crazy making culture of racism. The fact that we can and do go through all of those questions and struggles, is our end of the experience of racism.
The fact that so many people feel compelled, compelled, COMPELLED, to dissect and vivesect others in order to quell the quake inside themselves is racisms impact from the other side. We are all affected.
I know that upi know that you are bound to attract a lot of criticsim and ire, but I hope you and your friend who wrote the theme songe, also recieve lots of loving compassion as well. I hope to be one among that number. It's so crazy, this world.
Stay honest, strong, true to self. I'm a 60 year old FB auntie and I hear you, see you , love you! ❤
( I'm from America - of African-American descent, from all the way back to the great great greats, one Native American great great, and that's as far back and and as much as we know - for what it's worth! 🙂 )
I think there is a big difference between the cultural discourse online and the discourse in society. People are better at recognizing that the issue of race isn’t literally black and white when they see you in person. I grew up believing I was white (Ashkenazi Jewish) with a Jewish mother from Colombia and a Jewish father from Brooklyn. Because I was perceived as different, I claimed my mother’s Colombian ethnicity even though she was white because it gave me an answer to that “what are you?” Question. The truth I was raised with did not match my appearance. Most people thought I was Mixed, light skin black, Dominican or Puerto Rican. As far as I knew, I was none of those things. So being able to point to my Mom helped a lot and allowed me to go decades without investigating myself further. I found out though after Ancestry DNA and confirmed with 24andMe that I am actually 1/2 black and 1/2 white with 40% West African DNA. In talking to black people about my story, the community had been very welcoming and accepting (and are never surprised). At the same time, I would feel a little weird wearing braids because I don’t have a full connection to that side of my identity. 9 months later, I am still figuring out how to define myself. I believe Mixed is my true identity. I am no specific race because I am made of 2 races and 3 cultures (Latin American, Jewish and African American).
This is so amazing. You've hit every nail on the head. I love this so much thank you,, even the struggles w ur mom about her being like just accept urself and ur like I CANT WHAT!!! And feeling attacked and so torn and like an outcast... yes!!! I hope we both get better w our identity
Wow, this is a heavy woman who knows her stuff. Appreciate her perspective.
So true. I am mixed an get that question every other day. Felt this video 🙏🏽✨
This video was so good! Very relatable!
The only thing I hate about being multigenerationally mixed is people treat me differently based on the hairstyle I wear. If I wear afro textured hairstyles people are very mean, rude, impatient towards me but when I wear soft wavy Marcia Brady hair people are nice, helpful, patient and empathetic towards me.
Can you share how you are treated when you get a tan?
God this is so real.
@@Nekole1 for me personally? It depends, I either get embraced more by the black community and glared at by white people or told I'm "exotic"
Hi Biana! I'm a mixed (Black/White), and I'm 42 yrs. I have felt that I should embrace all of me, because to deny apart of me is harmful to me, not others. In the Bible, at Acts 10:34, 35, the scripture says God is not partial.
You are beautiful the way God made you! 🥰🤗
Always remember Biana, you are perfect and beautiful! Don't let people put you in a box, you are infinite.
Nobody is perfect stop simping
your beauty is off the charts. Its like looking at the sun. I am proud of being mixed and to me, you look like the perfect blend. You are living proof of heterosis.
i'm going to likely amend this to be thorough and thoughtful in my response. im bi-racial black and white but have been ethnically ambiguous enough that this video is so important to me in subject matter & thoughtful presentation, i love it. i first paused the video at 23:20 i will always use "the american approach" as my first deflection for this line of questioning. my lineage is very far removed from our immigrant ancestors by many generations now i cant even keep track how many. after being pressed with more invasive questioning i make my own judgments on them and will proceed extra cautious in how im perceived by them. i will just resign and tell them "I'm black and white and have hispanic family through marriage" this is the easiest most honest answer to give. that said I never claim being hispanic because i was raised solely with the english language but was surrounded indirectly with the spanish language thru a step parent. after taking two years in school and befriending many mexican and mexican american people over the years. learning spanish allowed me to connect with my siblings latino family across the language barrier. most people who outright ask me are monoracially hispanic spanish speakers trying to gauge if they clocked me as a carribean or other afro latino diaspora. i've even had gas station attendants take me for middle eastern or indian after i lost my loose afro curled hair due to receding hairline as an adult. it used to be easy because my hair had most people correctly gauge me as mixed black but that is the most bizarre part of this journey through an inherently divided society. i never like the term "chameleon" i hate any term that tries to equate a person to an animal i'm not going to name the most common ones but you all know them cringeworthy fs. but i have been able to ease into many different scenes throughout my life from an academic sphere as a youth to subcultures like skaters and club kids to professional work environments. in the professional scene i have seen colorism, featurism, and texturism run rampant and being honest i have benefited from being lighter, with more european or north african/middle eastern features and less textured hair with a looser curl. that's really what made me leave that type of 9-5 work environment not only to escape being involved in systems that perpetuate white supremacy but mainly to be in a more present way for my daughter with part time work. it is very hard to talk about this stuff and i wish all you find a way to fit into your community in your own way
This was absolutely amazing! It’s not my pride to have but as a fellow mixed woman this resonated so much! Also what they call “black fishing” I call “mixed fishing” and I hate it. I’ve never had my mixedness challenged in such a way and been called a “white girl” until this era.
I had someone at work, a job I was quitting from anyway, just blurt out to me that I was a white woman! Even though I'm mixed. I know what I am.
Asking "what are you" and "what's your ethinicity" is dehumanizing like why do you have to "sniff the negro out" like what!!! that's proper disgusting. I've been guilty of researching celebrities' ethnicity so I asked myself one day like "why am I so obssessed with knowing their race like why does it matter" and I started looking into a theory that I knew 2 years prior called the theory of racelessness which was coined by Dr. Sheena Mason and that was so liberating from that itch to know people's race as a monoracial black person. I try to see people's humanity first because that's all we truly are as race doesn't exist and is a racist concept from the get go so I try my best not to do that anymore and sometimes I cave in to that itch to know people's race but I'm still the process of reflecting on why I have this behavioural instinct.
One of my closest friends, we met way back in grade school. And it's ironic, their experiences as a mixed person and my experiences as a Jewish person... they're obviously not all the same and ultimately I'm very much still a fully white Jew, but it's wild how much we overlap in so many areas.
I had the fortunate luck (heavy sarcasm here) of the gentile (which just means non-Jewish for those that don't know, no it is not a slur) side of my family, specifically my fathers side, marrying into another when I was very young. All of a sudden I had a very xtian minister of a step grandmother. And boom, any interaction I had with what remained of the small Jewish side just disappeared as people mysteriously stopped talking to me, disappeared after moving far away, or just passed away. My step grandmother was nice sure, but over the years I was so left out of my culture and my experiences because of her that I basically got no chances to learn anything. It didn't help that my parents were divorced too. The Jewish side slowly disappeared, and I was left in the dust being forced to attend xtian summer camps. Not to stamp the Jewish out of me, oh no never! Toootally not the intention... 😒
Now as an adult I'm desperately trying to reclaim that connection with this part of me, and every part of it feels so awkward, and not in the cutsey funny way. I'm too Jewish for my other gentile friends and family and talking about it with them feels strange, but I'm too 'gentile seeming' and unaware of basic Jewish experiences because of being kept away from them for lots of Jewish communities. In fact, I feel so much more at home with Jewish converts, just because they're also learning about everything just like I am.
We talk a lot about both feeling alienated and lonely when it comes to our cultures. My friend talks about being too white for their black side, and too black for their white side. How they sometimes feel like a stranger no matter where they go, with no culture to really reclaim and take part in because they're not 'enough' of one thing to properly take part. Which is obviously bullshit, but they struggled with it for a long time, and still do.
I can't look back at my Jewish heritage because well, you can probably guess at about what point in time it abruptly stops at and has no records of anymore. My friend can't look back on their Caribbean side because all the colonization and imperialism removed so much further family history and community. So we're here trying to scrap together what little we can. It feels really wonderful when they share something with me and I can share something with them in turn. At one point I found this one kids book with the two protagonists being a Caribbean immigrant and the other a Jewish kid (if I remember correctly), and we were just SO delighted because hey! That's us!
It's not all the same of course, ultimately I'm still pale and white, and the specific racism that Jews of colour face cannot ever be downplayed. The horrible treatment that white Jews can and often do hurl at Jews of colour is just truly, truly disgusting and has gotta be stamped out. People act like the only Jews to exist are Eastern European, but we're everywhere with all sorts of experiences. Asia, Africa, the Middle East, South America, everywhere.
But even though my Jewish-ness can make people side eye me, I don't get much harassment unless I happen to be wearing a Magen David or a kippah or something. My friend always gets invasive questions about their hair and skin which they can't change.
Anyway enough talking about harassment it makes me feel awful to focus on!! It still feels really lovely to have those solidarity filled connections with people who understand what you're going through though. Me and my friend only ever gotten closer over the years too, and I'm so blessed to still have them in my life. My friend has learned a lot about Jewish experiences and I've learned about theirs being mixed. Thanks so much for posting this, and if someone reading this ever feels lonely and isolated too, I hope you have a really good warm day.
This Video was very Well put together 😊👏👏👏
You poured your heart out in this video.
Thank you sooo much for sharing and educating me💗💗💗
I watched the entire video from start to finish and harkened every word.
Thank you for sharing in such a thorough way! The amount of work you put into this is appreciated.
Thank you so much for making this video. I’m half Asian and have been reflecting on my experience being mixed here in the states. It’s a very confusing thing for me to explain sometimes and is hard to unpack but I appreciate you putting things I’ve experienced into words that can be described.
This video is excellent. Thank you for making it. You're amazing.
Listen to "Where Are You Really From?" here! ua-cam.com/video/Jj5Co8hw67g/v-deo.html Thank you all so much for your patience!!! And thank you for watching something that's hella different from my normal content. You guys are the best ☺️
Couple things I wanna point out real quick: 1) Please keep the comment section nice and respectful. Being mixed is a very personal, unique experience, so I know everyone is gonna have differing thoughts and opinions. Feel free to share whatever thoughts you have, but pLEASE do so in a way that doesn't antagonize others. 2) This video is NOT trying to answer any questions about mixed identity, such as, "Who are allowed to call themselves a POC?" There's no way that I (or frankly, anyone) could really answer that. This video is mostly me arguing /against/ the idea that any rules can be imposed on mixed identities. It's too nebulous a topic, and I'm tired of reading discourse about mixed identities that fails to look at the bigger picture. Like I state in the video and in the title, everything I say here is coming from my personal thoughts and experiences-nothing more, nothing less.
Thank you again for watching and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts down below 😘
This is such a great video I love that you point out the disparity b/w phenotype and genetic %.
I am majority white( mostly Italian with german, Norwegian, French, and Dutch and only 1/8 black and grew up thinking I was also 1/8 Cherokee. My mom considers herself a person of color she is creole( black and French from Louisiana) and has some Black and Dutch features. Because of genetics I have a skin tone the same color as my mom if not darker but no African features except I have the same muscle tone as all of my moms side of the family. People would always ask “what are you?” and I was a kid who grew up proud of all my cultures and would list them.
People always thought I was Hispanic, which is funny b/c my partner is Brazilian and people now assume that I am as well.
I know by featurism and texturism I am white. But my skin isnt white. When I was in Tahiti as a kid a local saw me and was convinced I was light skin Tahitian and that my parents were Italians adopting me. It’s crazy that people didn’t think either of my parents were biological. 😅
Nicely done, very well expressed. I'm a mixed American guy (white/black/Lenape Native) and since I'm 60+ have been living as "mixed" for a long time, in the PA/NJ region. All I can say is it wasn't uncomfortable for me, and most people, hearing I'm "part-black" as I put it, have been FINE with that, going back to the late 1960s. I think the fast-growing mixed population is the future of the US, and will become the norm eventually. Don't "choose as side," no matter what pressure you feel, just embrace all of your heritage & be a mixed American.
New here!! Great video!!! I can so relate to this! I’m a biracial woman (black and white) and I grew up in a predominantly black community …. And this was my entire childhood, “what are you” or “you must be adopted” … lol so ridiculous
Thank you for sharing such a difficult topic.
Loved this video.
You touched on topics only those of mixed lineage could bring to the fore. Im Gen X , and the rules def have changed in the last 10-15 yrs. I am the Black mom(don’t know white dad combo, my whole family is Black, whole experience was Black.. moved to the South in 04 and for first 10 yrs there was no weird intrigue. Since the skyrocketing of mixed kids phenomenon and the political landscape here in the South, Im feeling adrift. My mom even said to me “you always wanted to be Black”. That was 3 yrs ago. I am 60 yrs old😔
Excellent. This is so so true. It is like this in America!!! I have lived overseas and people are very different and not as racist as in America!!! Ignorant!!!! America has a long long way to go!!!!
I'm full somali and your life experience have been very similar to me, ive always considered myself black but a lot of experiences similar to your story about strangers and your friend made me think maybe I dont represent as monoracial as I do even though my parents are both african somali - its been difficult and a rude awakening yet in all life experiences I had (especially as a teen), i asserted I am black to strangers (mostly POC people) who tried to humiliate me (infront of a whole group of white people albeit) yet they didn't stop with futher questioning while everyone collectively listened in like I was a zoo animal
Excellent presentation.
This is so true so powerful!
This is spot on. Thank you. It is true they don't know it's weird, and I just kept answering it my whole life. Don't fit in anywhere and the rest of society tries to act like they don't do this!
Awesome commentary right on point very real .
she puts this so well im a quarter black im mostly white I dont look like that though most people say I look
latin im not at all none did the ancestry dna but there have been times where I just want to bw what people think I am ...you really do feel like a other
Its a wild world as a mixed person its an everyday explaining over and over and still not being believed. I dont want to be percieved
Yes not being believed or accepted.
It's insane that in 2024 mixed people still have to navigate the world having to explain themselves...
Rewriting the whole-ass comment that was erased when I scrolled down to read other comments... oh well.
I just wanted to say I relate a lot with this video and it was great to watch such a well-thought-out discourse on things that have been on my mind a lot for years. I had put it off until yesterday because I knew it would be not just a time investment but more importantly an emotional one, but I'm really glad I watched it.
I really relate with all the feelings of wondering if I'm really "of color" enough, or how to think of myself and my race. There's so much conflict between, on the one hand, how I saw myself as a child, how I was raised, how my mother has talked about my race and her own, and on the other hand, how people have perceived me throughout my life, what people say to me about my race, and just generally how people see mixed people.
Another thing that has messed with me lately, and I'm wondering if you've also experienced because you said your fiancé is Colombian, is how perceptions of race in other countries are SO different from our U.S. American experience of race which is so influenced by our history of slavery, Jim Crow laws, and so on. I've found that Mexican culture is so much colorist than racist. My boyfriend often calls me white and I always have to decide whether to confront the culture clash and remind him I don't consider myself white, or conform to his view of pale skin = white. I wouldn't try to have that discussion with any other Mexican who calls me white (which, yes, it's happened a lot -- people are weirdly fixated on skin color), because it's just the difference between the cultures of two different countries, but with my boyfriend I feel like I need to explain it and justify it to him -- the history! the Way it Works! -- despite him just brushing it off as another case of America being weird.
Oh god yes, some of the most interesting conversations I've had about racism have been with my fiancé thanks to our completely different upbringings. There's a LOT I could say on this topic, but I'll attempt to make my thoughts brief: (watch me not be brief lmao)
I do relate to your experience of your boyfriend calling you white when you're really not-up until I started working on this video, my fiancé called me white. This didn't really upset me, because when you look at the two of us, I look as white as they come (because context). But the reality is that I'm not. We've had many conversations about my ethnicity, how I view myself, and how others view me, and he now realizes that by calling me white, he's essentially invalidating a huge part of my identity. I've also come to realize that I feel more white around him because he is my daily "context." When we were long distance, I felt more mixed, whereas now living with him, I feel very distant from my mixed side. I'm grateful for this video because it's lead to a lot of revelations for myself and within our relationship.
As for your thoughts on how other countries view the US-///sigh. It's very hard to speak on this since I only truly know American culture bUT I think in general, most countries view the US as this hideous, racist wasteland, which makes people from other countries a little...high and mighty. This is just my hot take, but I don't believe for a second that there is any part of the world that is a truly an anti-racist utopia. I think what separates the US from other countries is how blatantly obvious and violent our racism is, but that doesn't mean there isn't racism around the world. Racism can be subtle. Racism is insidious. Racism in other countries may not /seem/ as bad as in the US, but that's most likely because their racism is manifesting in a different way. I agree, I think Latin America in general is very colorist, but I'm not gonna let them off the hook and say they're less racist, /especially/ considering how colorist thinking so easily leads to racist policies.
I really love your comment, and I'm glad you were able to connect with what I had to say ❤️ (Also kudos to you for rewriting your whole comment) And idk, if you're feeling a little bold, maybe share this video with your boyfriend. See what interesting conversations come out of it 👀
Thanks for doing this video. I am from Latin America and moved as a teenager to the USA. In my country I was not used to such question, so it was weird to me and couldn’t understand it. I will get ask what are you, often by strangers. I understood it as where I was from and when I would say my country, they will look at me upset and ask same question. Eventually I figure out that people in USA want to know colors. Years later after growing tire of this question, I tried explaining then my ancestry, problem is I am a very mix person. In my country everyone from my country regardless of their ancestry considers themselves from my country. Hopefully one day same will happen in the USA but mind sets have to change.
Latin america is not the same. If you are from south america people will already know you are mulatto or zambo do no need to ask.
Wow, come to Denver. We have so many types of mixed race children here, it is not even an issue.
the level of insights in this video is incredible! I’m not somebody from America, so even though i know of the never ending racism in that country, that’s it, i only know “of” it. Thank you for educating me of your perspective and experiences 🤍
*Biana Bova* I love that you pointed out this asking of your race. I've had people ask me if I'm biracial (i'm not but of course light-skin blacks are multigenerational mixed). It doesn't annoy me but I can see how others get annoyed of that. Like, why can't we just be human?
Wow this auto came on at the end of another video and I watched the whole thing. So raw and insightful ❤️
My one massive annoyance with curiousity in one's ethnicity, especially for those with black features as myself is asking if you are mixed and touching hair that has more curl then theirs. High key weird to have people getting into your space as if you are an exhibit. Spot on about the caricature statement, as this validation to be right about fitting you in a box, dissecting your existence is a mental victory.
I love you. That is all. 💜
Genotype and Phenotype-great topic! Most discussions on mixed or biracial people focus on white-passing, or at least non-black passing. As a mixed person who has black features and appears black (think Zendaya/the “black” twin on NG) it is frustrating when people doubt my mixed heritage based on their perceptions. I agree with the feeling of having to surrender my identity based on what people think. Just thought I’d add my 2 cents.
Zendaya looks mixed race. You people are completely insane.
thank you for sharing your expirience in such a broad way!
Awesome video. I disgree with the Zendaya M.M. comment. Zendaya seems more open and verbal about her mixed ethnicity and she hasnt shyed away from experimenting with braided black styles. Megan Markle plays is very safe in more white hairstyles always. There were negative comments about Zendayas dreadlocks by Giuliana Rancic which i kind of remember. I think its cause Megan seems to identify more as white.
I'm 1/4 black and I can identify with this.
Biana, I feel like there's so much I could say in this comment, but I really don't wanna write an essay on my whole life story right now, I just want to let you know that you released this video at the perfect time for me, personally. I've always been enthralled by things like genealogy, ancestors, and different cultures, but never have felt like I myself belonged anywhere. On the surface, racially I'm a tan black guy. But does this mean I feel a strong connection to black culture? Not really in the slightest. I've commonly been denoted as the "white-black guy" in groups. But, due to things like slavery and weak familial connections, that's all I've really ever been able to call myself. I mean word was thrown around that we've got Armenian on my maternal side, but that was only recently confirmed to a degree through an Ancestry DNA test last year, where I also found out that my ancestors were just all over the place. To call myself black...all that speaks about to me is the pigment of my skin. It doesn't hold the same weight that it does to say you come from a specific country with a rich history, and being proud of that. Both of my grandfathers were biracial (And adopted), and as it stands, my DNA is mostly in West Africa, but the other 33 percent lies in European/Eurasian/Middle Eastern countries. That's a whole THIRD of me, so at this point, I'm gonna start to identify as mixed. But does this solve my cultural dysphoria of sorts? Well, no. Because in my ancestry, I still lack concentration, so even though I'm most enthralled by my Armenian and Middle Eastern roots, can I really claim that when it only makes up about 18 percent of my genealogy? I’m not black enough for black people (...or anyone really, for what it means with the “acting black” crap), genetically I feel like I wouldn’t pass as a “true” Armenian, I definitely don’t look white in the slightest, oh, and let’s just add being a social outcast on top of all of that! I’ve always just yearned for a feeling of connection, to be part of a community with genetic ties, a big, loving family. But the only people I really know on a personal level are my mother and older sister, and I’ve disowned my paternal side altogether. Did I mention my sister has a different father? This whole family tree of mine is just convoluted and shrouded in mystery. But, I know that the universe will guide me well, because it led me to this video. So I guess this comment was still a bit long, but thank you for coming out with this video, Biana. I can truly connect to your content on a deeper level now.
I hear you.Feelings of displacement are common in todays world, regardless of race or racial mix. So you’re not alone, even if that’s the way you feel. Learning how to create deeper ties to others, whether groups or individuals, can be very helpful. These need not be genetic ties in order to bring a sense of community. The most direct way to actually create genetic ties of course is to have children. Connections to others is an important part of emotional wellbeing.
You wanna know the kick in the head, for me, as a Jamaican; I see wearing locks as a fashion ON ANYBODY, as cultural appropriation. Why? Because growing up as a child, the only ones who wore locks were Rastafarians and it was done with a very specific purpose in mind and FASHION wasn't it. People literally lost their lives for wearing their hair like that, so when I saw Americans wearing it who were NOT Rasta, it was weird to me. Meanwhile, in Jamaica, anyone could be Rasta and wear locks. We have Euro rastas, Chinese Rastas, mixed Rastas, Indian Rastas. HELL! most people don't even realize that we got locks from EAST INDANS in the first place! Anyone can get their hair braided. Why do you think there's all those women braiding tourists hair on the beaches? We don't have a problem with this idea that only certain people can wear certain hair styles. If it looks good on you, go on with your bad self! And the other thing...... Don't Africans have anything of value to offer to the World? Really, thank about it. Why is it wee don't see a problem with wearing a straight blond weave on an African woman? It's because that's considered the standard of beauty that should be emulated. Why doesn't it work the other way around? I live in the USA now, in an area that's ethnically very mixed. We have our hood, and our hood is mixed too. I see Euro women who grew up in that environment and are part of the community wearing braids ALL THE TIME and no fks are given! But best believe outside the hood there's a lot of people who will see them as lowering their status in society for doing it and SJWs accusing them of appropriation. What we fail to realize is how freakish our society is. It's not normal that the way you wear your hair, or the music you listen to or the foods you eat are different based on the color of your skin. As a Jamaican, I find our society WEIRD! Not saying Jamaica is a racial paradise, but the idea that you only live in certain areas, not because you can afford to, but because of your skin tone????? THAT'S FREAKISH!
Thank you. I have similar experiences. The thing is that there is not a lot of multiracial men that seem to get to be partnered with multiracial women because so many people do not want to be worried about which "side" they're on in the racial spectrum.
I’m trying to unpack myself own ancestry. With the fact my great grandfather knew people who knew his for lack of a better term his black ancestors. But due to plantations his great grandmother was herself mixed.
I’m “white” but have clearly not white hair. A throwback of sorts.
I cannot erase that part of my family. It grows out of my head. My mother’s very racist family (step relatives and her blood relatives) saw me as “black” because they believed in the one drop policy.
The complexity of my grandmother being scared of being seen as black and her grandchild not caring. Myself not knowing/caring being triggering to her.
But also her fear was proven by my mother’s relatives. Regularly commenting on white passing people having black looking children, yours truly.
THis was incredibly well written and explains every side of this debate i've had internally. Thanks for synthesising it and letting it take up half your year. I will be referring people to it whenever I don't feel like answering their question. I need to make cards with the video info and a 'congrats, I don't have time for your question' stamp. Just substitute the 'insert mix here' everything else, same thoughts.
Being very mixed myself I understand all of this, my father is Dominican, Spanish and Venezuelan mixed with European, middle eastern, and Native American, my mother is Jamaican who is mixed with European, African, Asian and Native American. Growing up I always got asked “what are you?” And even now as a grown adult I see other people in public stare at me like I’m some sort of exotic bird, it’s sad that I’ve had to get used to this, also I grew up with a lot of identity issues I never got to latch on to my other cultures other than the Spanish culture. I agree however, I’m tired of people trying to play “guess my race” all the time, it’s honestly it’s infuriating.
Well you would be mulatto because I am sure your dominican side is black or mulatto. Venezuela you could be mestizo, mulatto or zambo.
I can relate so much to this. You're so eloquent and everything you said makes so much sense. I'm not good with words, so if someone is curious about this aspect of my life and why it bothers me, I'll send them to you.
Thank you, love 😭❤️
My father is black, my mother is Seminole, Cherokee, and European Portuguese (I make the European distinction, only because sometimes people assumes that Portuguese meant she was Brazilian, which is actually spelled Brasil, stop spelling it Brazil; I digress). I look more black, than Native American. Some of my relatives have official recognition in the Seminole Tribe of Florida, though most don't. It's not that we can't gain enrollment, we just choose not to enroll. I've had a few online disputes with individuals regarding Native American enrollment.
Let's make it perfectly clear, Federal enrollment records (Dawes Roll), and being officially recognized as a Nation's member, are not necessarily the same. A family or an individuals name may appear on one set of records, but not necessarily others. Having said that, my heritage gets questioned sometimes, in the case of other black people. There seems to be a resentment, when I acknowledge my Native American heritage. They tend to think, I'm trying to evade being black.
I'm not evading acknowledging my "blackness", I look black. However, I'm not trying to present myself as being better than other black people, by acknowledging my Native American heritage. The "one dop blood rule'' has been used for generations, to exclude blacks of Native American heritage from rights guaranteed to Native American people. That's a complicated subject to big, for my comment to address.
Personally I don't get many questions about my ethnicity. Most people see me, and just perceived me as black (even if they suspect I'm biracial/multiracial). As I expressed earlier in my comment, what I get, are the people who flat out, don't want me acknowledging my Native American heritage.
People treat me very nice on my jobs until I tell them what I am. It quickly gets around and the HR nightmare begins 😂
Pure truth. You're beautiful. We look alike but I'm more black genetically. I look more white than black. Some people can't tell I'm part black. Most can. People speak to me in their language and expect me to understand, and I should since my heritage is part theirs too.
I realized as an older person that race is not real. It is a lie that has some truth and some falsehoods, as most effective lies do.
What is real is my ( our) humanity.
I love how you explained the way we can never pick a race. It's not possible for people like us to pick a race. We do not get to have that privilege.
We are denied our humanity to an extent as humanity is mostly defined by which ethnic group we belong to.
I realize that claiming my only race to be " the human race", creates an even larger controversy and likely causes people to be even more angry with me than they already are.
For people like us, there may never be a right answer.
Therefore, for the sake of my mental wellbeing, I have chosen to get off the race merry go round.
From now on when people ask me what race or ethnicity I am, the answer will be...." I do not discuss "race" with strangers".
I’ve spent this entire video trying to figure out who you remind me of, and it’s Danelle Hallan here in UA-cam. There’s something about the two of you that feels similar. Great video!
This video was very real. As a light skinned Brazilian, the issue of race and ethnicity suddenly gained much importance when I came to the US. Brazil is deeply racist, or more precisely colorist. The myth of “racial democracy” was the mainstream message we were conditioned to believe for almost a century. In some ways, the lack of rigid racial groups and prevalent mixing meant that the definition of Brazilian was broad. Racism against darker people exists in a spectrum there. However, “where are you really from,” is just not much of a thing in Brazil (except perhaps for 1st generation immigrants with a noticeable accent). Here I’m asked that all the time because people can’t quite categorize my ethnicity. Genetically I’m mainly Portuguese, with 1/8 African and a bit native. I just don’t look white enough, and perhaps a bit Middle eastern. I also sense people feel more at ease when they discover I’m Brazilian, perhaps because they now have a neat box to catalogue me in.
Your comment reminded me of a conversation I had with my Colombian fiancé. I was griping about racial issues and said something like, "If everyone made mixed babies, racism would be over." And he just looked at me and goes, "That's literally the entire south american continent. And there's still racism." Shut my ass up real quick 😅😂
Ongggggg yes girl I feel you to the fucking core
Omg yes…my hair is very curly it’s about 3b-3c and I would love to wear my hair in braids it’s beautiful but I really don’t want to be called out as culturally appropriating and have to explain myself and deal with an argument but at the end of the day it’s a protective style and it would be great to be able to connect with that part of me
I'm mixed, have been various shades in my life to super pale to rather tan.
I used to feel as you did but now I wear my hair as I please. Its hair, its not a big deal.
I do get snide comments and side glances from black women or white women looking at me like " is she allowed to wear her hair like that"? And as of right now I'm caramel in complexion but it could be my green eyes or facial features that make people question. So really do you and stop worrying about others.
Then do it! f*ck anyone who speaks against it, it's none of their business!
That's how we fix this girl. You stand up for what's right and do you!
@@peacebeyondpassion2 well its cultural sweetheart.
that's important. you don't want to disrespect people cultural identity. be respectful... yea, it is their business.... BUT if these women here are half black it's important for them to express that side of themselves too.
@@bellacortezFACTZZZZ … just wear your hair and f the haters
I’m Mexican and Sicilian with some black ancestors, but I look very Mediterranean, most people assume I’m Middle Eastern. I was raised to not ask people personal questions; I would never ask a stranger what her ethnicity is, how much money she makes, where she works-it’s none of my business. Someone asked me where I was from, I said, “The Bronx, is that a problem?” Immediately backed off. Ignore the asśholes you encounter, the world is full of them.
I'm very interested in the more Black-passing/ Minority-passing mixed people. I, as a Black-White mixed person, am not exactly black or white passing which is why people end up catergorzing me as light middle eastern, hispanic, or a reeeallly light black person. I sit exactly in the middle so I would love to see this same video but for Black-passing people. I share alot of the same experiences especially the "you are an other" part but those tiny microaggressions were much more aggressive. Not physical aggression but systematic discrimination especially in school. Of course my experiences will never be as bad but its interesting for sure
If you're in Asia, they will ask you even if you're Asian. They will also ask your age, if u're married or not. Culture thing really. So if an Asian living abroad randomly ask u where are u from and all that stuffs, just have in the back of ur head that they might be influenced by their Asia cultures
Great work thank you. Got a lot to react to
When I know someone is Mixed and especially when Mixed with Black, their percentages don't matter to me. I just know when I see Black hairstyles on people I think are White in real life, I assume they are Mixed and keep it pushing, lol. Meghan Markle's children are Mixed. They are precious cuties.
I wanna hug you through the screen 🥺🥺
Loved this video! I just discovered your channel
Oh boy. I too have a lot of mixed race problems to unpack so I’ll try not to leave an essay in your comments section lol. I am made up of an entirely different pie chart to you, so to speak, (four of my great grandparents are from Japan, one was born in England, one in Scotland, one in Ireland, and one on the Six Nations Reserve in Canada) but a lot of the things you said still really resonated with me.
I already left a comment on Instagram about how I had started watching the video and appreciated it, but I had barely scratched the surface. This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I literally cried watching this video. The things you said about only having a distant connection to the non-white part of your ethnicity really hit home for me. If you’re familiar with Canada’s history of residential schools, well, you can probably guess what comes next. It isn’t like I can blame my family for what happened seeing as they were going up against an institution that was quite literally designed to strip away their culture and that the were lucky to even make it out alive. But it’s still painful knowing that anyone who knew anything about that part of my ethnicity is gone and that part of my identity is potentially gone forever.
When you talked about having your mom do your hair, it was crazy, I felt like I knew exactly what you meant, even if I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt that way. I can totally understand why you feel like it’s unacceptable for you to do your hair that way now, but I feel like if that’s something you do without ever showing anyone then there’s no harm in making a private connection. That being said there are loads of people who are far more qualified to make that call than me.
I’ve had people tell me that it’s not like your ethnicity defines your identity and obviously I know that. I spend a lot more time worrying about my illustration portfolio than my mixed race identity, but it still matters and I don’t think that’s wrong.
The best analogy I can think of would be that I feel like a puzzle someone bought at a garage sale that has a lot of pieces missing. Like I’ll keep growing up and learning about myself, but I’ll never be able to fill in the entire puzzle. Maybe that’s a little bit melodramatic lol.
All I can say is the best thing that has helped me with understanding my own clusterfuck identity is to “own it” so to speak. I don’t mean that in like a public or performative way, but like as a sort of private declaration to yourself. I have a lot of “hybrid” sort of identity traits being mixed race, bi, somewhere on the ace spectrum (I’m still figuring that one out), an agnostic, and someone who does basically everything (academics, sports, art, etc), so I’m very used to not really fitting anywhere. The best thing I’ve found is just to privately tell yourself that you are what you are and eventually you start to believe it and you start to own it as part of your identity.
Thank you for making this video, it was incredibly informative and I’m sorry for my year long comment.
I love this comment so much, thank you for taking the time to share your story😭💕 The puzzle metaphor is spot on. There's no way to get your history, family members, or cultural connection back which leads to feelings of despair and ennui. Why even bother putting pieces together if you'll never have a finished image?
When my family found out we were part middle eastern and not native american, it was like a shockwave went through the family tree. I haven't personally talked to my aunts and uncles about it, but from what I've gathered from my mom, every single family member who got the news was shocked and kind of...hurt. We had so little family history to begin with, that to find out that the /one thing/ we had was completely wrong felt like someone took the wind out of us. We were, and still are, so dejected.
It's difficult explaining to people how it feels to not have any ancestral connection. Like you said, our ethnicity and culture isn't /really/ a big part of our lives, so it shouldn't /technically/ affect us, but it's always lingering in the back of our minds.
More than anything, I wanted to make this video so I could connect with others that are in the same boat. It can be very lonely being mixed, but I do feel comfort talking to others, like yourself, who understand. Thank you ❤️
As you can see, I completely understand.
Excellent, thank you. And that opening!! Love it. u got a new sub just from that rather beautiful version of the effing line "but where are you REALLY from".
Yep, people still c race & colour 1st...sigh....love from a mixed woman from London. Can't be bothered to explain the details of 'mixed' 😅💙
🙏Preach. I can relate. No answer is the right answer.
i’m white i really cringed at myself remembering the few times i’ve asked someone’s ethnicity i don’t know that well in the past, thanks for letting me know to shut my mouth i feel so bad i might have made people uncomfortable.
It’s actually not a big deal at all. Some ppl are super sensitive especially if they are ashamed of their non white side. I’m mixed and people ask me what I am all the time. I never ever get offended.
@@calaragazza3556 my area is SUPER diverse, like white people are the minority here, so i hope that because of that no one was upset because they’re ashamed of their ethnicity because it’s so normal here. like both primary school and secondary school my head teachers have been women of colour, there were like maybe 7 white kids in my class in primary most people were caribbean or pakistani and now my school is mainly turkish. i’m super privileged to have grown up like that cause it’s like no one ever had to sit me down and tell me that it’s bad to say the n word like i always just knew i can’t say that, shit like that you know, so i see white influencers who’ve said it being like “i was a dumb kid!” and i’m like how is it even possible that you didn’t know that isn’t okay? but still, i feel shitty for being ignorant i guess, like i can remember once asking an asian boy i go to school with “where are you from” when we were chatting, and like duh, he’s from here, he was probably born in the same hospital as me, so he said something like “i’m from here…” and i was like oh shit i’m the worst cause what i meant was what’s your ethnicity but like phrasing shit like that is probably so othering, still makes me feel gross hah.
@@mallbratgirl_3005 asking an Asian kid where he’s from isn’t offensive in my opinion. But I can see how some overly sensitive ppl might get offended. Ppl ask me this constantly. They ask where I’m from, what’s my ethnic background, my race….I have never once been upset about it because ppl are curious. If ppl can’t tell what you are then they ask. Black, white, Asian, Latino, middle eastern ppl have all asked me this. I live in NYC and there’s not a week that goes by that I’m asked about my ethnic background. I’m very proud of all ethnic sides of me so I think that’s why I don’t care. Not sure why the mixed chick in this video is so upset about it. She clearly looks mixed
@@calaragazza3556 yeah you’re from a similar city to me then, i’m from london and i feel like people aren’t that sensitive about it here. idk though i guess everyone’s different so i shouldn’t assume.
@AwakeNotWoke AwakeNotWoke it’s not bullshit. And it’s not weird to ask. It’s weird to get offended over people’s curiosity.
I love this video
Girl I relate to EVERYTHING you said. I'm also 3/4 white 1/4 black and I don't even know wtf I am. At this point when people ask about what I am where I'm from etc I want to start asking them "why?" Also, I recently started wearing the hijab so nobody has the option to judge me off my hair. I'm not a mixed person anymore but I am now seen as a middle eastern, Indian or Arabian. So it's a whole other experience. I can say that I prefer people seeing me as middle eastern because at least they're not so curious and confused. But yes it's so weird how my heritage doesn't matter to people it's only based off looks. Im not white passing, I have medium brown skin and dark curly-ish hair and brown eyes. I literally gave up trying to figure myself out in this regard. 🤷🏾♀️ Thank you for this video.
THE LAST SEGMENT OMG. I relate so much of this, it's been SO CONFUSING. I know I'm not fully white but also struggle to identify with my heritage as my mom was an orphan raised by white foster parents. Sigh.. I just always felt othered. And even know don't even know if I should identify as biracial?
I’m black, indigenous, and white, I’m multigenerationally mixed so both my parents look a racially ambiguous. My dad often gets mistaken for being Asian or Hispanic and my mom looks more black, as a result I came out looking pretty ambiguous too. Since I was little I’d often get the question “what are you” or “where are you from” as well. I never really knew how to answer and it always felt so awkward because I didn’t want to have to explain my whole ancestry, but I would always get a little bit of disbelief when just identifying as black. I was always nervous to identify as mixed because I’m multigenerationally mixed which isn’t as talked about or acknowledged as much as being biracial and I didn’t want people to think I was claiming to be biracial when I wasn’t. Recently I’ve started identifying as mixed because it saves me the time of having explain myself to people I don’t know very well and people usually just move on after that point because I look pretty mixed. I do still get a little worried about being judged for how I identify and if I’m identifying in the wrong way.
Thanks for sharing. I guess I never really cared much about this topic mostly because my family is full of different hues and mixes. My grandma was very white in complexion, but considered herself black and not mixed race, which I’m sure she was. She lived in Nebraska in the 30, and 40s. Growing up she was made fun of a lot for her freckles and pale skin.
I’m sorry you’ve had shitty experiences concerning people wondering about who you are. I can see how that shit would suck. And, my friend who is Navajo has worn box braids, and I personally thought they looked cute on her. I don’t care how ppl wear there hair no matter the race.
Also, I have a mixed child (black&white), and she looks at her skin as white, because it looks like her dads. She’s mostly around my family and she sees her dads family sometimes, but she doesn’t have any issues with her hair (curly like mine) or skin. She’s also 4, so if she does feel any issues as she gets older, I really hope I can help her with it. Thanks again for sharing.
Sorry i honestly assumed you were Italian mix because of your name, and I’ve never cared because I originally watched this channel for art.
In your grandmas time she would have been considered black hence why she called herself such but there would have been an obvious privilege from looking the way she did navigating during that time .
Ah a fellow red haired mixed person. I'm only 1/8 non white but still I understand a bit. Sometimes people can tell I'm not just white, probably because my non white part is pretty prominent where I live.
I ususally don't mind being asked my ethnic background cuz it frustrates me even more when people just assume they know. Funny thing is, west africans will go out of their way to point out my phenotype! The women tell me that if I was in africa, I wouldn't be seen as "one of them." The men tell me they want me and other women who look like me. Whereas, east africans see me and tell me I would blend in with them just fine, both men and women. So, obviously I can be seen as african, just the ones from the east! Thing is...I'm light skinned (mexican american and black american mixed) born and raised in Indiana. Go figure...
UR BEAUTIFUL THE WAY U ARE YOUR JUST MIXED RACE BUT YOUR A HUMAN BEING THATS WHATS MATTERS BE PROUD OF WHO U ARE YOUR PRETTY THE WAY U ARE
I think you have a really dope racial mix... You're certainly open minded and broad minded.Thanks for sharing your insight ❣️