Go With Passion
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2021
- My mum passed. She passed four weeks ago.
And still, every time I say or write or think about it a piece of my heart shatters. I still don’t know what life is without her. Without her smile, her laugh, the love she had for all of us.
Five children raised under her strong, stubborn, beautiful sun. Five children, she would do anything for.
-
It was 4am and I was shivering. Sharing a cabin with my parents on the eve of my thru-hike of Te Araroa, the cold was keeping me half awake, and somehow,
despite her affected mobility,
despite her bed being on the other side of the room,
despite the dark of the early morn,
she thought to walk across to place an extra blanket on me.
Unprompted, ever knowing, unconditional.
I didn’t need to open my eyes to know who my thank you would be whispered to, It was a warmth I’d known too well. A warmth interwoven through my entire life,
our entire lives.
She was always placing blankets on us while we were sleeping.
-
I’ve been avoiding writing or saying or sharing anything about this, maybe because it hurts too much,
maybe because if I don’t, then it won’t really be true,
maybe because bringing it up feels like I’m seeking attention, or sympathy, or pity.
But it is something that is part of my life.
It’s testament to what we can project, how we try to move forward, and what we do to get through the day to save our crying for the middle of the night.
Sending love and light and warmth to my okaasan,
and sending it to you all too.
Living with Myeloma for the past three years, my mum had an incurable but somewhat-survivable blood cancer. But just like that, we were given two weeks. I’m processing, still learning how to grieve, but I realise now that the feeling like I’m hiding something is not healing at all. fundraise.leukaemia.org.nz/elina-osborne if you’d like to donate to the LBC NZ Foundation.
So sorry for your loss. It is very painful to loose a parent; I know.. I've lost one of mine already. Best wishes!
Beautiful tribute, know where you come from, who you come from, is to know where you want to go.
My condolences Elina
Sorry for your loss be strong my wonder woman ❤
Sending you all the strength to you can. This is so emotional to watch. I hope you see this and know how proud she is of you.
My sincerest condolences on your loss. She gifted all of us with your passion for the trail that you share so well. Rest In Peace.
I lost my mother to breast cancer this year on June 3rd. Once you lose a parent you start to notice all the little things they did that made your life better and you wish more then anything that they were still around so you could tell them all reasons they were amazing. While it will never be the same again all you can do is honor them in your memories because pain and loss is the price of love
So beautifully put, thank you for sharing. I hope you've been finding ways to honour your mama too x
I read this quote from Jamie Anderson the other day and I thought I should share it here, it might resonate with you as well:
"Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."
My condolences!! 💐
A total stranger half a world away is shedding tears.
Watching this on the eve of my father's 92nd birthday. Laying in my hammock. Sobbing and sending you thoughts across the stars. It's midnight, hours before a celebration that I pray will not be my last. I pray peace for you and your family. No words can comfort you now.she will always be there. You have to look a little harder. You have to listen a little closer. But she is there forevermore. May your family find comfort.
Thank you for sharing this Jeff ❤️
I’m so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute. She’s so proud of you, as are we. Blessings and much Aloha.💜🙏💜🙏💜😥
Elina; What a beautiful tribute to your mum. I met your mum in Saeilo Los Angeles when she came to join Steve. She was such an elegant woman. God Bless your family, your lineage and Steve and her descendants.
My condolences Elina. I got choked up watching this. The opening shot was so beautiful, and no matter what, your mom's beautiful spirit will always be with you and by your side. Sending you lots of love.
I lost my mother to covid in Nov 2020. The grief journey is a hard one. Some days it hits you in unexpected ways. I love this film and the wonderful memories. Someone told me, the depth of your grief is a sign of the depth that you were loved. Blessings!
God bless you Elina and whoever watching this video.♥️
I never met any of you two but i watched all of your videos and fell in love with them. A Person who have sutch a great Family and doughter must be special.
Because of that, my honest condolences for you and your family from switzerland.
I am sorry for your loss...
I always feel positive energy, passion from your videos.
I am Japanese so let me say Rest in Peace in Japanese for your Okaasan.お母さん。
ご冥福をお祈りします。
my dad died in 2007, in 2010 i survived heart attack, the heart attack was easier than dad's funeral, the death of parents is that big and yet i lived through both and glad i did. it might be difficult to see now but sending you all the good wishes for better days ahead.
I know how hard it is to share something when you are in so much pain- I wish I could give you a big hug and wrap you forever in a sweet warm blanket. May time heal and soothe your heart.
My heart is broken....when someone loses a parent....a piece of all of us are shattered. It happens to all of us. Peace be with you and your family Elina. Im so sorry this is your time.
The people who have loved us so strong never leave us when they die. You can feel their love forever, hear their voices guiding you when needed. A mother’s love is embedded within us. They will always be missed, but you will still meet her in the years to come. Thank you for sharing with us.
What a beautiful woman, I see so many of your facial expressions in her too. I'm sorry for your loss
What an incredible, touching tribute to your sweet mother, Elina. I can see her passion in you and understand where your radiance comes from. My mom died from multiple myeloma seven years ago. It truly does get easier over time, but the waves still come. Less frequently but sometimes more intense. She's the reason I decided to go on all these adventures. Wishing you peace during this time and remember to treat yourself gently. Hugs, -Annalisa ❤️
Your words about the PCT described what I could not. For that reason, I am indebted to your mother for the daughter you became. And we grieve along side you. Plus you had me with the Seekers! GK
I am so sorry Elina,
Grieving sucks! I lost my mother 4 months ago and I’m still crying multiple times a day. Indescribable loss and pain. You only have one Mom. And like the song said...I will never find another “you”
Peace be with you...
Thanks Patty, I hope you're being well supported and taking your time to grieve x
Such a touching tribute Elina. I am sorry for your loss. She is beautiful. She is always with you. I lost my Mom from AML- a type of leukemia 16 yrs ago and miss her everyday. Sending you love and comfort. Thank you for sharing.
You have your mums grit, determination and way with words woven through you Elina. Take your time to heal. Sending love to your family x
What a beautiful tribute. Sending you all love and peace Elina.❤💔❤
Please accept my condolences. You are a mirror image of your mum and she will always be with you. In future, when ever I watch your videos, she will always be remembered. 🙏🏽
Jumped the gun being so excited for new content. Beautiful and heartbreaking. Sending love.
I love you and I love your mum. I will never forget the time when I was four and I bit my teeth into my lip at your old old house and she gave me a Mu-tu (sp?) pokemon. She was the best, and I hope I can be half as good a mother as she was
I am not crying....🥺 I am so sorry Elina. I can see you in her lovely smile!
I also lost my mom a few years ago. Prayers for you.
Your mum has a beautiful soul, and she'll live on through you in equal beauty and love. I'm sorry for your loss, Elina.
I also lost my mother to cancer, one year ago! My heart goes out to you and all your family! One day, and one step at a time!
Wow! What a great loss because she was such a great part of your life and her presence clearly influenced your love for life. Sending a blanket of love your way.
There is just nothing anyone can say at this time that is not trite however having been there it is as it is and time heals all; my blessings to you and your family.
aw jeez. gonna hug my mom a little tigheter after this. condolences to you and your family, she is an amazing woman!
Elina, you do not know me. I'm just a northern hiker, resonating with your passion. I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your mom in your life. Loss like this is felt in every cell of you. Keep moving into passion with confidence to yourself. You will find her in everything.. everywhere.
Blessings and Grace, Elina...........a beautiful tribute to your Mum........she went with Passion...............xxx
You have her smile, so her spark will still be shared with the world through you. Lots of healing on your journey through mourning your loss. 🦋
Death is eventual but even when it’s known it’s a shock. I lost my father June 9 2020. We knew it was coming we even knew it was likely coming that night. As I stood outside his window saying my eventual last goodbyes (covid doesn’t care about cancer) I fully assumed I’d see him the next morning. I didn’t. Around 3am the call I had dreaded for 9 months came and it was still a shock. “My dad is dead?” I didn’t know what it was like to live on a planet without my dad existing “somewhere”.
Day by day it gets easier. Day by day your thoughts become brighter. But, the pain is still there. The regrets are still there. Whenever I do something “big” now I often think “I’m doing this now, I’m not putting this off”. My dads death has given me more purpose and I think he’d be proud of that.
Wish new purpose for you.
There is no easy path through the sadness and uncertainty. There is healing in the quiet passage of time and the love of those around you. My heart wishes you peace at this time. I send you and yours love. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
I could feel the pain through your video, very personal and touching. Thank you for sharing. We (UA-cam community) are with you!
How brave of you to share. Much love to you and your family 🙏🏾
My heart-felt condolences Elina. The death of a loved one is something you carry with you on your journeys thereafter.
I'm sorry for your profound loss, Elina.
"There in the frame of your face in the cast of your eyes
I saw this coming but still I am caught by surprise
All of this time I knew
That I'd be losing you
That doesn't mean that it's okay
That doesn't mean I'm ready"
- Jonathan Coulton
The glimpses of your life via UA-cam already show how her wise words and love have shaped you. She'd be proud of your beautiful tribute to her. "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman helped my wife. Best wishes to you and your family.
Dear Elina, my condolences and prayers for the comfort of your heart and to your family. It's been many years since I met her after she was Blessed to your father. I worked with your dad at that time and got to see how much he began to beam because of her entrance into his life. That light is eternal as is the love your mother shared with you, your family and the world.
Such a lovely tribute video you produced that shares that love with others. Stay warm in the blanket of love she has wrapped around us all.
Please pass along to Stephen a special thought of comforting to his heart.
Sending much love to you and your family. Thank you for sharing her beautiful life with us.
I am so sorry for your loss. What a loving tribute. Rest in love.
Elina, I am so sorry to know you lost your Mom. Your tribute to her is beautiful, thank you for sharing and please take care of yourself.
That tribute is so beautiful as Im sure she is. My sincere condolences.
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like an extraordinary person. I was 27 when I lost my father (both parents have now passed), so I have an inkling of what you may be experiencing. Take some time and give yourself a lot of space. Don't get caught up in what you should or shouldn't do with your grief or your life right now. Go easy on yourself and your family. Ultimately, be confident that you will live a life that would make her proud and happy.
Oh Elina, much love to you and your beautiful family. Hold onto the memories 💕x
An amazing tribute to your mother. My condolences on your family's loss. Her love will continue on in you and your siblings. Be well.
You and your family have my heartfelt sympathy.
Oh Elina, I'm sending you all of my love. Your videos have been a source of comfort in troubling times to me and I hope that the outpouring of love on here will be of comfort to you. x
We are so sorry for your loss Elina. Thank you for sharing a little glimpse into her life.
Amazing video! I needed to stop playing it half way through because people were staring at me crying in Panera :)
Im so sorry for your loss lost my mom March 20th 2020 to cancer my heart goes out to you and yours
Appreciate the message, Jack. I hope you've been finding ways to find heal and find joy through this time too
What a beautiful tribute to your stunning Mama. 💖 😊 🌹
She was a woman who epitomised grace, dignity, unconditional love, and incredible courage!
What a beauty.
Thank you so much for sharing her with us here, and for allowing us a small glimpse into your heart at this achingly sad moment. 🌿
The legacy she leaves in each of you, her amazing children, will live on through the generations. ❤️
I lost my Nana who is my forever heroine and inspiration, when I was only 17, and now I am 63.
She is still very much in my heart and in my thoughts.
I see so much of her in myself, and I see glimpses of her in my own granddaughter.
Your Mum will live on through you. Big hugs and love to you and your family right now. 💜
Sending strength and light to you and your family during this time. Thank you for sharing.
I’m so sorry for your lost 😞 but you found way to communicate to the world -your way…beautiful way
Thank you for sharing with us- sending 🫂
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful tribute. Sending you love and strength 🦋
absolututely lovely tribute. Kia Kaha
Beautiful. I see her smile in yours. My mom passed a couple years ago and this inspires me to remember the blankets and to see her in my smile, the skin on my face and my heart.. the way I try to cover people in warmth. Thank you for sharing. My heart is with yours
May her memory shower you with love, comfort and the beauty that was... that is... and will always be.
I am sure this was hard to put together and share with us all, but I am glad you did as I got to know a bit of her through it and I am blessed by it. My condolences on your loss. Love for you and your family from Minnesota, USA.
Just as obvious that you loved your mom, if keep her in your memories part of her will always be with you for the rest of YOUR life. Also obvious, I am sad for your loss, but at the same time I look forward to see where life will take Elina Osborne..... she is a pretty cool woman also.
I’m so sorry🧡thank you for sharing her transcendent warmth with us.
Sending you all the love and peace Elina. What a beautiful tribute. Your mum is so proud of you!
Thank you for sharing beautiful memories of your mum.
Very very sorry for your loss, sending thoughts and condolences from the other side of the world here.
That was so very beautiful
Elina - I am so sorry for your loss...I just lost my Dad back in May and there was little warning as Alzheimers can be a fickle disease. Take care and be the strong person that you are, that she raised.
Best
Sending you light and love ❤️
no words can heal the pain of losing someone so dear, but my deepest condolences to you and your family. sending all my love and hope for healing your guys’ way💖
What a lovely tribute. Thoughts and love from Arkansas.
this is beautiful. so sorry for your loss
My deepest sympathies to you and your family Elina.
i am so sorry for your loss elina! this video is so beautiful… keep making your art and we all support you xx
Well that was an absolutely beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss.
i am so sorry for your lost. keep being the beautiful soul that you are. sending love, thoughts and prayers
This is such a beautiful way to honor her. My deepest condolences Elina, may your Mum find peace where she is
I'm sorry for y'all's loss. You favor her, and I'm sure she is proud of who you are and will be. Thank you for sharing, and I hope this helps you heal.
I'm so sorry for your loss
May her memory be a guiding light of strength and resilience- may it be a blessing to all who were touched by her- May her memory and light hike alongside you and your family for generations to come.
So sorry for your loss. Such a beautiful look at a wonderful person.
Sincere condolences Elina
What a beautiful tribute this is. I’m so sorry for your loss. We’ve never met in person but through your videos you seem to possess the same warm and genuine spirit as your mother. I’m sure you made her very proud.
Sincerely sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers for you and your family from here in NYC. Jack
I'm so sorry for your loss. May she rest in paradise 💛
May her beautiful soul rest in everlasting peace, watching over you and your brothers, and placing the extra blanket on you, in a new way. you're so brave and she is sure proud of you, as we're all are.
I'm sorry for your loss, sending love and hope for healing ❤️
What a beautiful tribute to your mom! I was thrilled to see a new video from you as they are always so special and well done but what a tough time this one must have been for you to produce! Healing prayers and hugs to you and your family! Keep that amazing talent and passion going strong, as your mom said!
Elina, this was beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad that you have so many wonderful memories documented so that you can always remember the best moments. Thank you for sharing❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family. What a beautiful tribute this video is.
I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute.
I was literally trying your Japanese curry recipe out this weekend after watching that video, where you talked about your mother. Seeing this now, I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry. There are no other words.
tears rolling down my face. i'm so sorry for you & your family's loss Elina. this tribute was so beautiful, what a beautiful human x
I‘m so sorry for you! This is such a beautiful Video you made
Beautiful. So sorry for your loss, sincerest condolences to you and your family.
What a lovely tribute to an obviously lovely person. Sincere condolences !
My skin shiver omg I'm really sorry may she rest in peace ❤❤❤be strong my best hiker my wonderwoman love youuu
Such a beautiful tribute for a beautiful mother. I'm so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your lost Elina. My condolences to you and your family. This video is beautiful.