It's funnier to an actor, because it's so true to life. Best laid acting plans so easily go awry, are undone by simple, unexpected things. All this unsung actor's elaborate plans, high and low moments in a major role throughout this long play -- his emergence into fame -- all upstaged by the simple action of a silent extra at the end of the show. No, folks, the old man didn't die. He simply drank the ink, no doubt resulting in audience gasps, endless guffaws, and the old man's stealing the headline in the next days' reviews. And the joke gets an extra kick by the extreme brevity of the second diary entry. No doubt an actor hearing this joke knows what's coming, and has been trying, unsuccessfuly, to predict how the diarywriter's expectations will come to nought. That's the joke -- the long story's tension is surprisingly released by the short, abrupt punch line, with no explanation required: "He drank the ink." There are other acting jokes like this. One classic is the young spearcarrier who finally gets a speaking role. One line, but it's all his. The line is: "Methinks I hear a cannon." For weeks, he rehearses it. Trying it out in every possible way. Subtle changes of inflection. Changes in tempo and timing. On the subway, on the street, between taking orders at his restaurant day job, you'd hear him muttering, "Methinks I hear a CANnon!" "Me THINKs I hear .. a cannon?" "Methinks I hear..." and so on. Finally, the big night. The scene unfolds, and his moment is near. There's a loud boom offstage, and he says.... "What the hell was that?" End of joke. For the young actor's sake, let's hope the star of the show was drinking ink.
For me it is about life, regardless of profession. You make all these plans, ready to do your best, then fail spectacularly, with a whimper. btw, I liked the one you typed. Funny too.
The other actor on the stage drank the ink instead of writing everything down like he was supposed to and got more attention than the man writing the diary entries so he didn't make a break through after all and continued to write in his diary as he was still not famous.
I dont think he drank the ink to get more attencion I think that he drank the ink because the person on the stage was so boring I mean he did say it was “a joke about actors” 😂
@@aqualady0. The diary keeper was such a bad actor and so boring in his delivery of the long soliloquy that the other actor on stage committed suicide by drinking the ink.
Jack Lemmon played along Kevin Spacey, Bethel Leslie and Peter Gallagher in Eugene O'Neill's famous play, Long Day's Journey Into Night, and he was absolutely SUPERB, as well as the other three who were also SUPERB. AMAZING chemistry in play, amongst and between the four of them, played out in a single living parlor. An incredible dialogue. One of Jack's finest performances. Made in 1987.
There are four stages to an actor's career... 1) "Who's Jack Lemmon?" 2) "Get me Jack Lemon." 3) "Get me a young Jack Lemon." 4) "Who's Jack Lemon?" Fortunately for us, Jack Lemon will never have to endure number four.
If we include performances on TV, I would nominate Ernest Borgnine.... McHale's Navy vs Marty. Jackie Gleason....... The Honeymooners vs Gigot. Tom Hanks...... Bosom Buddies and Big vs Philadelphia and Saving Private Ryan. Henry Fonda.....Mr. Roberts vs Twelve Angry Men and Grapes of Wrath. For sheer volume of incredibly different roles, I'm going with Tom Hanks. By a hair.
I once went to a play where two people were playing a dog owner and a dog and I believe it's kind of like this joke, because no matter how witty the monologues of the owner were, the other actor would just bark, or "woof", or kick dirt in him with incredible on-stage attitude.
A chicken and an egg are sitting in bed. The egg is leaning back smoking a cigarette, and the chicken says "WELL! I guess we know the answer to THAT question!"
The Apartment! Jack Lemmon, Shirley Maclain, Fred McMurray. Three greats in one place. My favorite Jack Lemmon movie, but Cowboy is a close second, with Glen Ford.
@@darkfeather6857 It's his initials. Felix Unger was the character's name. When Walter Matheau used to read the notes on his bed, he thought Felix was saying 'F@#$ you' but he was simply signing his initials
When I first heard the line, "He drank the ink," I took it seriously and thought, "He WHAT!? He did WHAT!? Why would he do a dumb thing like that? He did WHAT, Jack!?" And I laughed, I really laughed.
He went to my high school: Newton, Mass. (before my time). Adored him and miss him. Simply the best. Reminds me to go find his work and do A Jack Lennon film festival. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It seems to me that the performance as so boring that the guy couldn't stand having to keep writing, so he killed himself by drinking the ink. That's why the actor felt sad. He realized he was not good at acting. He was a "ham."
The fact that you remember him from the Simpsons shows what an amazing career this man had. We always give the nod to the more current star. It's human nature and Tom hanks is great. But from Mr Roberts to Grumpy Old Men this actor was the best.
@@olliephelan The joke was about an unknown actor who had been trying to become famous for a long time. He thought he would have his chance on the evening of November 1, because he was about to act a fantastic part in a new play. This part was supposed to climax with him delivering an 8-minute monologue. Everyone's eyes were supposed to be fixed on him, watching his beautiful performance. Instead, the old man who sat on the stage writing everything down stole the audience's attention. Instead of using the ink to wet his quill and write things down like he was supposed to, he DRANK it. I imagine the audience must have cracked up with laughter, reacting to that silly old man DRINKING INK on stage. No one would have been paying attention to the main character anymore. The scene was ruined.
One of my favs is when George Burns reached a 100 yrs old, he said "If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself" !!
That joke reminds me of Yule Brenner being upstaged (and irritated) by Steve McQueen in “Magnificent Seven” (who without saying a word stepped on all his best scenes). (Drank the ink)
I have a joke about actors. An actor, desperate for his big break, gets a call from his agent. “I have a part for you, you are playing a General, and your costume is being delivered as we speak. You have no time for rehearsals, the play opens tomorrow night, but you only have one line. You are on stage as the curtain opens, and your line is ‘hark, is that a cannon I hear?’ Good luck” He rings off. Well, the poor guy practices his line all day and night. In front of a mirror, striding up and down, trying various poses and expressions. He tries every way of saying his line. “HARK! is that a cannon I hear?” “Hark, is THAT a cannon I hear?” “Hark, is that a CANNON I hear?” “Hark! is that a cannon I HEAR?” The following night he is on stage, nervously waiting for the curtain to rise. At last his moment comes, as the curtain starts to rise, there is an almighty boom of a sound effect of a cannon. He is startled and exclaims, “What the fuck was that?”
The Russians capture three Western spies: an Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian. They torture the Englishman for 20 minutes before he cracks and provides them with all the information he has about his secret mission. They torture the Frenchman for 20 minutes also, before he cracks. They torture the Italian for a full 3 hours without result; he seems distressed, but doesn't say a word. When he's returned to his cell, the other spies ask him how he managed to hold firm under the Russians' hair-raising brutality. "Well, I wanted to tell-a them all-a my information right away," the Italian replies, "but those bastards had my hands tied-a behind my back!"
I hate when I don't get the joke, but I don't hate Jack Lemmon. I loved him - another great. I loved him with Walter Matthau. They were great together.
+Cathy C the point is that he wanted to get attention for doing something great and that is not always what gets attention. i dope who drinks ink gets the attention making the purpose of getting attention absurd.
I remember seeing him in this really great movie with Walter Matthau.....I can't remember the name of that movie but I remember that they were a really odd couple :)
@@sammomin8115 The comment is referring to the movie called 'The Odd Couple'. They did most certainly team up for 'Grumpy Old Men' and 'Grumpier Old Men'' which were both worth watching too.
Actors are very egotistical and thus very jealous of moments in a play when the audience's attention is supposed to be riveted on them. Another actor who draws that attention away is not appreciated. So in this case the bit player stole the scene by drinking the ink. It is a joke that primarily actors would understand and empathize with.
I concur and applaud the 2nd part of your comment, Kram6298! But, my perception of actors differs from yours. For me, the stereotype of "very egotistical and jealous" was shattered by two classes at Montgomery College in Maryland. Though almost old enough to be many of my fellow young actors' grandparent, I found these young actors to be delightfully welcoming and generous and helpful. Thanks, Montgomery College for opening me to the cognitive and affective joys of acting and theatre. And thanks to by 2 brilliant and creative teachers, E. & K. And for the rest of you: Get ye into an acting class at a community college!
I guess I don't understand why the character actor is sitting on the side of the stage writing down everything the actor is saying....I still don't really get this joke.
@@nikiTricoteuse Rich Little at the end of this video (doing a Jack Lemmon impersonation) explains the joke. Everyone in the audience looked at the guy drinking the ink. It was so distracting that they could no longer focus properly on what the lead actor was saying.
@@nikiTricoteuse That actor drinking the ink must have decided that he's quitting acting, and so he decided to go out with a bang. The actor Alec Baldwin just did the same thing, going out with a bang.
***** The other actor on the stage drank the ink instead of writing everything down like he was supposed to and got more attention than the man writing the diary entries so he didn't make a break through after all and continued to write in his diary as he was still not famous.
It is because the actor was so bad that the old man drank the ink. It is funny because after 20 years of writing in his diary all he needed to sum up his acting was " he drank the ink". Jack always told jokes that made you think a little.
Here's an odd thing. Jack does The Days of Wine And Roses with Lee Remick. Famous song, score by Henry Mancini, of which you could always buy his soundtracks from Breakfast at Tiffanys to Charade, to The Pink Panther, Arabesque, to Peter Gunn, Hatari, Experiment In Terror, etc. Even Touch Of Evil. But they never released one for The Days Of Wine And Roses.
Yes, Gil from the Simpsons is based on a charted he played. It's ironic that this actor was so famous that one of his characters was satirised in the Simpsons but to some, the character based on him is better known. It's actually like his joke about being upstaged.
Lemmon was in Kenneth Branagh's great movie of "Hamlet." Also, Charleton Heston in one of his last roles - just great! I don't get the joke, but if Lemmon told it and I was there, I'd just laugh out of respect. I hate Shirley Maclaine, but "The Apartment" is a very good movie.
First, the logic of the joke is that nothing else that was memorable happened. But the puchline is really effective because the fact and the statement "He drank the ink" is really funny by itself.
Jack Lemmon's screen journey was sensational ... Mister Roberts, It Should Happen To You, Some Like It Hot, Days of Wine and Roses, How To Murder Your Wife, The Odd Couple, Save the Tiger, Missing, The China Syndrome ... A complete original.
Best actor telling a joke was David Nevin on the chat show Parkinson telling the joke about a crab dating a prawn or the one Kenneth Williams told about the dancer Robert Helpmann.
@@jackcallison9219 Use your cassette player and plug it into your laptop using mini-jack cable. (Headphones output of your tape deck -> microphone input in your laptop). Then get Audacity (it's free). Press play on your cassette player and hit record button on Audacity. Save your audio files and then burn them on your CD.
Um ator sem sucesso um dia teve sua chance de ficar quase sozinho no palco de um grande teatro e faria um lindo discurso enquanto outro ator secundário sentando em uma mesa com uma pena e tinta anotaria o discurso no papel. Era a sua grande chance. No dia seguinte esse ator sem sucesso escreve em seu diário. "Querido diário, o outro ator bebeu a tinta durante a cena". Explicando a piada: O outro ator encontrou um meio de roubar a cena.
@@ivanfaught9997 The audience didn’t listen to his 8 minute speech because they were watching the other actor drinking the ink. Not exactly hilarious but quite straightforward. 🤷🏻♂️
My favorite Jack Lemmon story is the answer he gave to the classic question #10 [out of 10] that James Lipton asked every actor he interviewed on Inside the Actor's Studio. When he asked Jack Lemmon, "If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?" Lemmon simply replied: "What took you so long?"
@cinemapsycho91 ... yes just read the caption by the dude that uploaded it... veteran actor is excited and waxing poetic about his big break... old character actor writes down everything he says... next day he must have bombed if he drank the ink... character actor just recorded it.
@@AbiNomac It's "Fawlty Towers", but you made me realize it's "faulty", for the first time! There are several jokes that need a decent understanding of language and could be regarded as snobby. For example, when Basil tells Immanuel he speaks Pidgin, not Pigeon like the bird. To get the entire bit you first have to know what Pidgin is, or you won't get the rest of the skit. Then their timing is immaculate. The way the ensemble plays together sometimes makes you forget you are essentially watching a play. Basil is always trying to appear calm and gentleman-like, while in reality he is quite the opposite and has a meltdown at least once an episode. He's a mirror image of the self-important Brit, who is proud of the Empire and considers himself a great member and upper class citizen, when he is really just an idiot imposter trying to resemble what he thinks a gentleman is. Underneath it is just a giddy old, horny man. I never really thought about why Fawlty Towers is fun before, but those things popped into my mind first. I guess it is somewhat a child of the 80's, but I think the series is still incredibly funny today, because the comedy is so well crafted and on the point. The guy knew his fellow Englishmen and mocked them by putting a mirror in front of them.
Doesn't appeal to non-actors? Trying to poison himself? What? It's a simple, brilliant joke. I once heard a criticism of Ian McKellen's (onstage) Richard III - during a quiet bit, while another actor took centre stage, he started moving his feet as if drawing little shapes in the sand with his shoes. Because he was McKellen, the audience's attention was totally on him, which some people saw as being unfair to the less-known actors.
the way he delivers a joke is brilliant love him
You gotta remember “The Great Race!” Lemmon -best funny villain EVER. Plus a beautiful Natalie Woods& Tony Curtis.
Jack Lemmon was a very talented actor and comedian and loved by millions Period!!!!!
blob:null/a9880612-085a-4e0c-b159-5cf2918398c5
😅
A True actor. Brilliant in every thing he did. Will always be a favorite of mine.
F.Y.T
It's funnier to an actor, because it's so true to life. Best laid acting plans so easily go awry, are undone by simple, unexpected things. All this unsung actor's elaborate plans, high and low moments in a major role throughout this long play -- his emergence into fame -- all upstaged by the simple action of a silent extra at the end of the show. No, folks, the old man didn't die. He simply drank the ink, no doubt resulting in audience gasps, endless guffaws, and the old man's stealing the headline in the next days' reviews. And the joke gets an extra kick by the extreme brevity of the second diary entry. No doubt an actor hearing this joke knows what's coming, and has been trying, unsuccessfuly, to predict how the diarywriter's expectations will come to nought. That's the joke -- the long story's tension is surprisingly released by the short, abrupt punch line, with no explanation required: "He drank the ink."
There are other acting jokes like this. One classic is the young spearcarrier who finally gets a speaking role. One line, but it's all his. The line is: "Methinks I hear a cannon." For weeks, he rehearses it. Trying it out in every possible way. Subtle changes of inflection. Changes in tempo and timing. On the subway, on the street, between taking orders at his restaurant day job, you'd hear him muttering, "Methinks I hear a CANnon!" "Me THINKs I hear .. a cannon?" "Methinks I hear..." and so on. Finally, the big night. The scene unfolds, and his moment is near. There's a loud boom offstage, and he says....
"What the hell was that?"
End of joke. For the young actor's sake, let's hope the star of the show was drinking ink.
rrinquen You write a great joke. It's nice to see something so well written.
For me it is about life, regardless of profession. You make all these plans, ready to do your best, then fail spectacularly, with a whimper.
btw, I liked the one you typed. Funny too.
Thanks for explaining (i didn't get it). Your joke was easier to understand 😁
2006 Hyundai Sonata headlight replacement
rrinquen w2
The other actor on the stage drank the ink instead of writing everything down like he was supposed to and got more attention than the man writing the diary entries so he didn't make a break through after all and continued to write in his diary as he was still not famous.
I dont think he drank the ink to get more attencion I think that he drank the ink because the person on the stage was so boring I mean he did say it was “a joke about actors” 😂
I still don’t get it…what was funny?
Thanks for explaining it to my dull mind.
Jack Lemmon couldn't even tell a joke without being a good actor...he is sorely missed.
Philacav definitely missed. He was adorable in the movie the odd couple
I really dont.get it
@@aqualady0. The diary keeper was such a bad actor and so boring in his delivery of the long soliloquy that the other actor on stage committed suicide by drinking the ink.
I have never heard of this series. I landed on a gold mine! So good.
Jack Lemmon played along Kevin Spacey, Bethel Leslie and Peter Gallagher in Eugene O'Neill's famous play, Long Day's Journey Into Night, and he was absolutely SUPERB, as well as the other three who were also SUPERB. AMAZING chemistry in play, amongst and between the four of them, played out in a single living parlor. An incredible dialogue. One of Jack's finest performances. Made in 1987.
too bad kevin spacey is a worthless, evil bastard
@@i3642 Well, he had some hideous behavior. However, parsing that out, he is still a brilliant actor. Loved him also in “The Big Kahuna.”
Glengary Glenn Ross was tue movie?
Yeah, I agree, BIG KAHUNA was great, despite Kevin’s, putting it respectful and lightly, troublesome tendencies towards others.
Spacey is a wierdo pedophile rapist who got kicked off epstiens island
I love this
"GRUMPY OLD MAN!"
😉
Great ACTOR,
Jack Lemmon.
He made us laugh.
He made us cry.
There are four stages to an actor's career...
1) "Who's Jack Lemmon?"
2) "Get me Jack Lemon."
3) "Get me a young Jack Lemon."
4) "Who's Jack Lemon?"
Fortunately for us, Jack Lemon will never have to endure number four.
Sad but true
This made me laugh more than the joke ;)
Mary Astor
I believe that Jack Lemmon was the most versatile motion picture film star of the 20th century.
If we include performances on TV, I would nominate Ernest Borgnine.... McHale's Navy vs Marty. Jackie Gleason....... The Honeymooners vs Gigot. Tom Hanks...... Bosom Buddies and Big vs Philadelphia and Saving Private Ryan. Henry Fonda.....Mr. Roberts vs Twelve Angry Men and Grapes of Wrath. For sheer volume of incredibly different roles, I'm going with Tom Hanks. By a hair.
Installing water pressure reducing valve
john province jack lemmon my favorite actor ever.
Did he DIE?
Cary Grant.
I once went to a play where two people were playing a dog owner and a dog and I believe it's kind of like this joke, because no matter how witty the monologues of the owner were, the other actor would just bark, or "woof", or kick dirt in him with incredible on-stage attitude.
JUST THE BEST GUY..I WORKED WITH JACK ON "THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER", TV SPECIAL..JACK HALEY, JR PRODUCTION..5/12/2020..JE
A chicken and an egg are sitting in bed. The egg is leaning back smoking a cigarette, and the chicken says "WELL! I guess we know the answer to THAT question!"
I'm stealing this joke for my novel. (yours, not his)
Old but good
The Apartment! Jack Lemmon, Shirley Maclain, Fred McMurray. Three greats in one place. My favorite Jack Lemmon movie, but Cowboy is a close second, with Glen Ford.
Wine & Roses was incredibly powerful.
Shirley, this is one of my wife's and my favorites as well. We really love all of the acting in this movie!
@@armadillotoe It is, and it shows Lemmon's deep, serious side.
I have to choose Mr.Roberts
Let’s not forget “The Out Of Towners” with Sandy Dennis.
forever in my top 5 actors of all time
I met him in NYC at the Russian Tea Room in the early 90s. Very cordial.
Gotta love the fact that Jack Lemmon's has in his office a loving photograph of . . . JACK LEMMON !
So?
He's holding an award in the photograph.
It took me two minutes to realize "F. U." stands for Felix Unger.
Took me two years to get this joke.
Always loved that line.
Can you explain it? I still don't get it.
@@darkfeather6857 It's his initials.
Felix Unger was the character's name. When Walter Matheau used to read the notes on his bed, he thought Felix was saying 'F@#$ you' but he was simply signing his initials
Phmeh. Phmeeeehhhh. PhmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhHhhhhh!!!!!!!
What a film!!!
Ah, a chance encounter with Heather Thomas. My day is made!
I feel you on that one, Brother! Was NOT expecting to see HER today!!! 🤤🤤🤤
When I first heard the line, "He drank the ink," I took it seriously and thought, "He WHAT!? He did WHAT!? Why would he do a dumb thing like that? He did WHAT, Jack!?" And I laughed, I really laughed.
That from Jack was...
pure G⭐LD! 😊💚*🙏🏼
Doris Day never had much luck with men but always had a huge crush on Jack..
It happened to Jane. I have that one.
Because Jack was a Lemon!
the character upstage was using ink, and he UPSTAGED him by drinking it, its about someone else stealing your limelight
He went to my high school: Newton, Mass. (before my time). Adored him and miss him. Simply the best. Reminds me to go find his work and do A Jack Lennon film festival. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
A guy walks into a talent agent's office and proclaims, "I have the greatest family act of all time!!"
...maybe later...
"Just love Jack lemon!" Xx👍😎🎵🎶❤🌷
"he drank the ink"? jack's right. i didn't get that joke at all. but drinking ink is ALWAYS funny! (don't try that at home kids.)
It seems to me that the performance as so boring that the guy couldn't stand having to keep writing, so he killed himself by drinking the ink. That's why the actor felt sad. He realized he was not good at acting. He was a "ham."
@@pyro_the_guinea_pig ... i think you're right. thanks for the explanation.
Saying nothing worth writing
Incredible performance by Jack Lemmon!
I visited his grave in LA. The gravestone says:
JACK LEMMON
in
"in". Fucking AWESOME!
But why did they spell his name wrong?
podpod Thx, i fixed it. :)
Wow. Just telling a joke Jack Lemmon gives an Oscar worthy performance. Actors today should take notes.
Lemmon was a good actor. Loved the film Save The Tiger and many others he was in. He didn't tell that joke all that well though.
Under The Yum Yum Tree was my favorite!
Do you know what inscription jack chose to put on his gravestone?
''Jack Lemmon In''
JACK LEMMON IN....HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..!!! GET IT?!
+Λαυρέντιος Ψαροκάηκας I totally get it! Jack Lemmon was just the best!
It's one of those jokes where even if the joke itself isn't a world beater, the delivery absolutely seals it and makes it hilarious
Tons of respect for Jack, but....
Even Robin Williams couldn't sell that joke.
About as funny as cancer
John Uhler "Jack" Lemmon III (February 8, 1925 - June 27, 2001)
Yep!! Jack Lemmon is dead! Dead as a doornail. Dead, cold and buried.
From a scale of 1 to 10, how dead would you say is Jack Lemmon?
+ohaRega Very.
What craft Jack had to entertain us back in the day!
I appreciate the minds words. I am one of those who didn’t get it.
The fact that you remember him from the Simpsons shows what an amazing career this man had. We always give the nod to the more current star. It's human nature and Tom hanks is great. But from Mr Roberts to Grumpy Old Men this actor was the best.
He played Larry burns
He drank the ink ?
Im honestly missing it.
The writer wasted out of ink, or tried to poison himself ?
He did Burns in the Simpsons ??
@@parksyist Rodney Dangerfield played Larry Burns...
@@olliephelan The joke was about an unknown actor who had been trying to become famous for a long time. He thought he would have his chance on the evening of November 1, because he was about to act a fantastic part in a new play. This part was supposed to climax with him delivering an 8-minute monologue. Everyone's eyes were supposed to be fixed on him, watching his beautiful performance. Instead, the old man who sat on the stage writing everything down stole the audience's attention. Instead of using the ink to wet his quill and write things down like he was supposed to, he DRANK it. I imagine the audience must have cracked up with laughter, reacting to that silly old man DRINKING INK on stage. No one would have been paying attention to the main character anymore. The scene was ruined.
At the beginning. LEGS!
Who is she?
@@JohnVJay She was the hotter of the two. From Fall Guy right?
They were the only reason to click on the video.
@@HILBILEE than Heather Locklear no way!
Who is he?
Too Funny...and only Jack Lemmon could have made it so....Priceless!!
One of my favs is when George Burns reached a 100 yrs old, he said "If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself" !!
If Kevin Spacey and Bryan Cranston were brothers, Jack Lemmon would be their dad.
For sure!
But then their names would be Kevin and Bryan Lemon and nobody would have ever heard of them.
That joke reminds me of Yule Brenner being upstaged (and irritated) by Steve McQueen in “Magnificent Seven” (who without saying a word stepped on all his best scenes). (Drank the ink)
When he threatened to take off his hat?
His performance in Glengary Glen Ross was outstanding.
He did a lot of outstanding performances. I miss him and Walter Matthau very much. It's sad how we're all snowmen, bound to melt away before too long.
@@yowzephyr - Oh. Yeah. Hilarious. 😐😐😐
⛄😜⛄😜
I have a joke about actors.
An actor, desperate for his big break, gets a call from his agent. “I have a part for you, you are playing a General, and your costume is being delivered as we speak. You have no time for rehearsals, the play opens tomorrow night, but you only have one line. You are on stage as the curtain opens, and your line is ‘hark, is that a cannon I hear?’ Good luck” He rings off.
Well, the poor guy practices his line all day and night. In front of a mirror, striding up and down, trying various poses and expressions. He tries every way of saying his line.
“HARK! is that a cannon I hear?”
“Hark, is THAT a cannon I hear?”
“Hark, is that a CANNON I hear?”
“Hark! is that a cannon I HEAR?”
The following night he is on stage, nervously waiting for the curtain to rise. At last his moment comes, as the curtain starts to rise, there is an almighty boom of a sound effect of a cannon.
He is startled and exclaims, “What the fuck was that?”
I thought for the joke to work, emphasis on an ongoing struggle for the limelight between the old actor and the younger one was needed
That's why he said that if you're an actor, you'll get it. Those are the people who won't need that to be set up for them.
@@Ididnotwanttojoin ah, I don't remember writing this, or the video cos it was a year ago :(
Jack: 1, Joke: 0
That was a great joke, and it takes a Jack Lemmon to tell it right. :)
The Russians capture three Western spies: an Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian. They torture the Englishman for 20 minutes before he cracks and provides them with all the information he has about his secret mission.
They torture the Frenchman for 20 minutes also, before he cracks.
They torture the Italian for a full 3 hours without result; he seems distressed, but doesn't say a word. When he's returned to his cell, the other spies ask him how he managed to hold firm under the Russians' hair-raising brutality. "Well, I wanted to tell-a them all-a my information right away," the Italian replies, "but those bastards had my hands tied-a behind my back!"
That's a GREAT joke! You're hilarious!
I hate when I don't get the joke, but I don't hate Jack Lemmon. I loved him - another great. I loved him with Walter Matthau. They were great together.
Once the old actor drank the ink, nobody was paying attention to the guy giving the soliloquy.
+Cathy C the point is that he wanted to get attention for doing something great and that is not always what gets attention. i dope who drinks ink gets the attention making the purpose of getting attention absurd.
My understanding is, by drinking the ink, the old actor upstaged the actor with the “great” part. I imagine all eyes would be on the ink-drinker?
I remember seeing him in this really great movie with Walter Matthau.....I can't remember the name of that movie but I remember that they were a really odd couple :)
Grumpy Old Men, the name of the movie.
Don't forget The odd couple original movie
@@sammomin8115 The comment is referring to the movie called 'The Odd Couple'. They did most certainly team up for 'Grumpy Old Men' and 'Grumpier Old Men'' which were both worth watching too.
@@dizasadorableanimals6554 Thanks a lot!
Actors are very egotistical and thus very jealous of moments in a play when the audience's attention is supposed to be riveted on them. Another actor who draws that attention away is not appreciated. So in this case the bit player stole the scene by drinking the ink. It is a joke that primarily actors would understand and empathize with.
I concur and applaud the 2nd part of your comment, Kram6298! But, my perception of actors differs from yours.
For me, the stereotype of "very egotistical and jealous" was shattered by two classes at Montgomery College in Maryland. Though almost old enough to be many of my fellow young actors' grandparent, I found these young actors to be delightfully welcoming and generous and helpful. Thanks, Montgomery College for opening me to the cognitive and affective joys of acting and theatre. And thanks to by 2 brilliant and creative teachers, E. & K.
And for the rest of you: Get ye into an acting class at a community college!
I guess I don't understand why the character actor is sitting on the side of the stage writing down everything the actor is saying....I still don't really get this joke.
Okay, after several minutes thinking about it I think I finally get it. The old character actor drank the ink just to upstage him.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I must admit I'm not sure l get the joke either. I think your idea is probably correct though.
@@nikiTricoteuse Rich Little at the end of this video (doing a Jack Lemmon impersonation) explains the joke. Everyone in the audience looked at the guy drinking the ink. It was so distracting that they could no longer focus properly on what the lead actor was saying.
@@nikiTricoteuse That actor drinking the ink must have decided that he's quitting acting, and so he decided to go out with a bang. The actor Alec Baldwin just did the same thing, going out with a bang.
@@yowzephyr Ah. Thank you. 😁
my favorite actor of all time: jack lemmon
Aaron orange
I loved Jack Lemmon..... this better be funny mate.
wtf did he say?
***** The other actor on the stage drank the ink instead of writing everything down like he was supposed to and got more attention than the man writing the diary entries so he didn't make a break through after all and continued to write in his diary as he was still not famous.
Dang she’s beautiful
That's strange, because she is a pig, Muppet. Whatever floats your boat, though. ;D
Jack Lemmon put three people on hold to tell that joke
Fun fact -- Jack Lemon's real name was John Citrus. Now you know.
This comment was funnier than Citrus' joke...
Bullshit .....lol
Know, like Paul Harvey, or know, like G.I. Joe?
"And now _you_ know.....the REST of the story..."
"And knowing is half the battle!"
It is because the actor was so bad that the old man drank the ink. It is funny because after 20 years of writing in his diary all he needed to sum up his acting was " he drank the ink". Jack always told jokes that made you think a little.
No. It’s called upstaging. The character behind him did something that stole his moment in the spotlight.
Here's an odd thing. Jack does The Days of Wine And Roses with Lee Remick. Famous song, score by Henry Mancini, of which you could always buy his soundtracks from Breakfast at Tiffanys to Charade, to The Pink Panther, Arabesque, to Peter Gunn, Hatari, Experiment In Terror, etc. Even Touch Of Evil. But they never released one for The Days Of Wine And Roses.
It's Gil from the simpsons!!
Yes! I was just about to write that.
Which is based on Shelly from Glengarry Glen Ross, played by...
Yes, Gil from the Simpsons is based on a charted he played. It's ironic that this actor was so famous that one of his characters was satirised in the Simpsons but to some, the character based on him is better known.
It's actually like his joke about being upstaged.
Equivalent examples would be Katy Perrys 'Left Shark' or the
Jamie Lee Curtis Fiji 'Water Girl' event.
Lemmon was in Kenneth Branagh's great movie of "Hamlet." Also, Charleton Heston in one of his last roles - just great! I don't get the joke, but if Lemmon told it and I was there, I'd just laugh out of respect. I hate Shirley Maclaine, but "The Apartment" is a very good movie.
He drank the ink to kill himself because the performance was bad.
Thank you
what an actor
People who don't get this joke after a while haven't suffered much loss. Good for them!
is about hamlet. moment of poison drink.
Sorry, whats Hamlet, a small piece of Ham soaked in ink? how odd .
@@jonsmith4669 3 eggs mixed, add ham.....
First, the logic of the joke is that nothing else that was memorable happened. But the puchline is really effective because the fact and the statement "He drank the ink" is really funny by itself.
Jack Lemmon's screen journey was sensational ...
Mister Roberts, It Should Happen To You, Some Like It Hot, Days of Wine and Roses, How To Murder Your Wife, The Odd Couple, Save the Tiger, Missing, The China Syndrome ... A complete original.
the apartment?
Best actor telling a joke was David Nevin on the chat show Parkinson telling the joke about a crab dating a prawn or the one Kenneth Williams told about the dancer Robert Helpmann.
Came here via the David Niven prawn joke and am now off to find the Kenneth Williams joke. 😁
My best is Dustin Hoffman telling the Omar Sharif joke on Cavett. It's on youtube.
i met Jack once in 1991. Lufthansa office, Picccadilly , London
She was so beautifull
And "was" is the keyword here.
Great man "99% of success is simply showing up."
He expertly added “upstage” to the story.
I had forgotten how beautiful Heather Locklear was. The joke I didn’t get at first.
Heather Thomas
Heather Thomas, brother.
Great, now you've got me thinking about _both_ of them.....😏
2:09
I love how Jack Lemmon is trying to explain the joke but refuses after a while....
Rich Little
Can you record from a tape cassette on to a cd disc on a lap top
@@jackcallison9219 Use your cassette player and plug it into your laptop using mini-jack cable. (Headphones output of your tape deck -> microphone input in your laptop). Then get Audacity (it's free). Press play on your cassette player and hit record button on Audacity.
Save your audio files and then burn them on your CD.
Jack Lemmon?!?!? Dude! That's Bill Murray!!
The moral of the story is to know your audience.
I listened to this three times. It gets funnier on repeat listening.
+Wayne Pollock yes yes yes YES YES YESYESYESY IT DOES HEHEHREHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEH
no, it's not....
+Michael Ross well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Did you at least get the joke?
"That was a really sad and long story professor."
The sound effects ... laughs !
Sorry, that was Heather Thomas, from "The Fall Guy". He even calls her Heather when he's speaking to her.
Dude I love this guy so much he stole the show in some like it hot
Billy Wilder comes up with the maracas.
Hey, it's Jake Spoon doing the intro.
Save the Tiger. Awesome movie.
Um ator sem sucesso um dia teve sua chance de ficar quase sozinho no palco de um grande teatro e faria um lindo discurso enquanto outro ator secundário sentando em uma mesa com uma pena e tinta anotaria o discurso no papel. Era a sua grande chance. No dia seguinte esse ator sem sucesso escreve em seu diário. "Querido diário, o outro ator bebeu a tinta durante a cena". Explicando a piada: O outro ator encontrou um meio de roubar a cena.
can't write this shit down if there's no ink........... OR
I'd rather die than go through this again.......... OR
My favorite comedian
he's right...i didnt get it
He upstaged the man's performance by drinking the ink.
Brilliant!
@@darbyzworld
Yeah after your explanation i grabbed the hidden meaning. Yeah upper class humour
@@moonflower2772
It’s an ‘actor’s joke’.
😐
So where is the joke?
@@ivanfaught9997
The audience didn’t listen to his 8 minute speech because they were watching the other actor drinking the ink.
Not exactly hilarious but quite straightforward.
🤷🏻♂️
I get it. The joke is that actors' sense of humor is so weird it's hilarious!
My favorite Jack Lemmon story is the answer he gave to the classic question #10 [out of 10] that James Lipton asked every actor he interviewed on Inside the Actor's Studio.
When he asked Jack Lemmon, "If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?"
Lemmon simply replied: "What took you so long?"
RIP James Lipton
@cinemapsycho91 ... yes just read the caption by the dude that uploaded it... veteran actor is excited and waxing poetic about his big break... old character actor writes down everything he says... next day he must have bombed if he drank the ink... character actor just recorded it.
Probably the Best every. John Cleese could have told this one
john cleese preferred good jokes
I never found Cleese funny
@@AbiNomac he's massively overrated
womba68 - Completely agree with you. I’m still trying to figure out what’s funny about “Faulty Towers” other than it being a joke in itself.
@@AbiNomac It's "Fawlty Towers", but you made me realize it's "faulty", for the first time! There are several jokes that need a decent understanding of language and could be regarded as snobby. For example, when Basil tells Immanuel he speaks Pidgin, not Pigeon like the bird. To get the entire bit you first have to know what Pidgin is, or you won't get the rest of the skit.
Then their timing is immaculate. The way the ensemble plays together sometimes makes you forget you are essentially watching a play. Basil is always trying to appear calm and gentleman-like, while in reality he is quite the opposite and has a meltdown at least once an episode. He's a mirror image of the self-important Brit, who is proud of the Empire and considers himself a great member and upper class citizen, when he is really just an idiot imposter trying to resemble what he thinks a gentleman is. Underneath it is just a giddy old, horny man.
I never really thought about why Fawlty Towers is fun before, but those things popped into my mind first. I guess it is somewhat a child of the 80's, but I think the series is still incredibly funny today, because the comedy is so well crafted and on the point. The guy knew his fellow Englishmen and mocked them by putting a mirror in front of them.
For all you Millennials out there: this is who Gil Gunderson from the Simpsons was based on.
Oh I get it! you see the old actor up stage upehhh ehh ehh drank the uhhh uhh and everybody looked upeehh eehhh and ... OH FORGET IT!!
Pure class.
Well, I'm with Kermit on this one...
Toast
See because everyone was looking at the guy who drank the ink, and...well...eh, forget it.
@@DAMIENDMILLS Didn't he say the actor was off stage. That means he isn't seen, right?
@@calvinwboaz7085 - Upstage.
Only actors will get this joke!!! It was GREAT!!!!
We are All [but] players...
In about 15 years, this is what Kevin Spacey would look like if he had more hair
I was just thinking Kevin Spacey looked just like this with his character Frank Underwood.
fantastic call !!!!!!!!! exactly
RElated? You don't know who's been rooting who in Hollywood. In a bad light Matt Damon looks like Jack Nickolson's love child.
Heather Thomas! WOW!!
Doesn't appeal to non-actors? Trying to poison himself? What? It's a simple, brilliant joke. I once heard a criticism of Ian McKellen's (onstage) Richard III - during a quiet bit, while another actor took centre stage, he started moving his feet as if drawing little shapes in the sand with his shoes. Because he was McKellen, the audience's attention was totally on him, which some people saw as being unfair to the less-known actors.