5 Tips to be a Great Conversationalist

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  • Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
  • Here are 5 Quick Tips to help make you a Great Conversationalist in less than 60 seconds. Free Download pdf Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/
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    1. Don’t worry about telling stories at first, especially long stories. 2. Don’t talk too much about yourself. 3. Instead, get curious about the other person. Take a sincere interest. 4. Ask questions. Yes or no questions are okay as a jumping-off place. But here’s the big secret. 5. You have to master the art of open-ended questions. Ask questions that start with words like “how” or “what.” That gets conversations rolling. “What brought you from Los Angeles to New York?” “How has Los Angeles changed over the years?” “What do you miss about LA?” Once the conversation is rolling along, offer your own details, concise stories, and experiences so it feels like a friendly game of tennis that goes back and forth. If the conversation loses energy, ask another open-ended question.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 51

  • @alexanderlyon
    @alexanderlyon  Рік тому +14

    Free Download pdf Confident Speaking: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

  • @laneyoh5
    @laneyoh5 Рік тому +92

    Good tips, but I think one still needs to be careful with asking open-ended questions... or rather, asking too many of them. I know one person who does that, and I'm always exhausted after talking with her, because it feels like an interrogation rather than a friendly game of tennis. Perhaps it's because she doesn't offer the back and forth about herself, so it just seems as if I'm fielding questions? (Even when I try to ask questions it seems as if she is super quick to get it back to having me answer questions instead. It may be that she has put up a "wall.")

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Рік тому +48

      You are quite right. The goal is to ask some questions to get the ball rolling and then offer some of your own details (as mentioned in the video) so it feels like the friendly game of tennis and the conversation goes back and forth in a nice exchange. If it feels too much like a one-way Q&A, then it won't be as satisfying.
      In general, however, most people ask zero questions in conversations. I've been keeping track informally on this for about 20 years. The worst conversationalists are the ones who either talk the whole time about themselves (and ask no questions) or just won't talk unless somebody asks them a question. Your friend who asks too many questions would be a rare exception based upon what I've observed over the years.

    • @laneyoh5
      @laneyoh5 Рік тому +7

      @@alexanderlyon I completely agree! Thanks for the feedback. 🙂

    • @JodiesWay
      @JodiesWay Рік тому +3

      I’m the one who won’t talk unless asked a question. And I hate talking to someone who talks too much, especially ones who don’t be talking about anything of true substance and I’m just not very talkative. The problem with open ended questions for me is that, do I really care for the answers so if I genuinely don’t care to know I won’t ask, therefore there’s no conversation to be had that “friendly tennis game” you mentioned. I want to be a better conversationalist I just don’t like speaking to people lol. 😬

    • @cherylecooper906
      @cherylecooper906 Рік тому +2

      I had a friend like that. I agree, it can be exhausting. For me, it definitely felt like an interrogation. Plus, there were times when this particular friend wasn't nearly as forthcoming -- whenever I asked her any open-ended questions. ☹

    • @rnguyen2516
      @rnguyen2516 Рік тому +1

      @@cherylecooper906 I have a couple friends like that, and I agree! I always feel judged at the end of my encounters with them, lol!

  • @kingdommindsetleadership
    @kingdommindsetleadership Рік тому +9

    Alex you are an exceptional Speakerand Teacher and Coach !!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Thanking you for all these valuable tips, lessons will never be enough !!!

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- Рік тому +7

    yes!, open ended questions really have you more connected to the person.. it happened to me! 😼😃👏✅️

  • @cherylecooper906
    @cherylecooper906 Рік тому +11

    These are great, Alex! I believe -- in the right mix and careful balance -- these tips make up the art of meaningful engagement. ❤

  • @xw7239
    @xw7239 Рік тому +3

    I appreciate videos like this 🙏🏼

  • @RG-gd5tc
    @RG-gd5tc Рік тому +3

    Amazing content as always Coach! Basics boiled down in accessible format.

  • @L3roy
    @L3roy Рік тому

    Asking open ended questions!! Yesss! It always surprises me when another human does this! Immediately makes you feel valued.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Рік тому

      Yes, agreed. The other night, I asked somebody about what a typical day at work looks like for him. It lead to a great conversation, I learned a ton, and he later thanked me for asking him about his work.

  • @alaaeddine9735
    @alaaeddine9735 Рік тому

    thank you so much that's what i have been looking for in me but I couldn't articulate it and you did it for me now it's way clearer in my head

  • @comusecommunity
    @comusecommunity Рік тому +1

    Excellent!

  • @kjaanishji2595
    @kjaanishji2595 Рік тому +1

    Nice presentation style and happy mood are impressive! What’s more, clear speech!

  • @alejandromarquez5565
    @alejandromarquez5565 Рік тому

    Thanks for sharing these tips !!

  • @fornello123
    @fornello123 Рік тому

    These tips are good for getting shy kids to talk too

  • @littlestarseed4832
    @littlestarseed4832 Рік тому

    Awesome advice!
    Thank you

  • @janelbrookshire7011
    @janelbrookshire7011 Рік тому

    Lol. Why I’m a great date!
    I’ve been on dates where he pretty much knows nothing about me, but because I ask questions (sincerely) - he thinks I’m super interesting. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @acmeallpurpose4974
    @acmeallpurpose4974 Рік тому +2

    Usually I don't want to talk to people. In my head "Stop talking !"

  • @f3vermonkey318
    @f3vermonkey318 Рік тому

    Great tips!

  • @melinatamang
    @melinatamang 11 місяців тому +2

    What to do when we ran out of questions?
    There arise a awkward silence
    And i hate it

  • @advanced-developers
    @advanced-developers Рік тому

    Great tips

  • @archieartzzz3910
    @archieartzzz3910 Рік тому +2

    Personally i don't like it when they get too curious about me since i am a bit personal

  • @MG-qh1qi
    @MG-qh1qi Рік тому +2

    Can we have adhd conversationalist tips?
    I literally think of questions the next day even if.i am very interested in the person...I just cant get my brain present. 😔

  • @blessingsoflove
    @blessingsoflove Рік тому

    Phenomenal. Does becoming a great conversational add to becoming a great public speaker? Curious minds want to know.
    Blessings of love 💜

    • @blessingsoflove
      @blessingsoflove Рік тому

      I'd love to share what I know one day with others.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Рік тому +1

      Being a good conversationalist can certainly help with public speaking. It's just that public speaking is more demanding and requires advanced preparation. But once you get rolling, those conversation skills will kick in and help you connect with your listeners.

    • @blessingsoflove
      @blessingsoflove Рік тому

      @@alexanderlyon That's wonderful knowledge. Thank you for the golden nuggets. I may just stick to small groups of people in the near future. Blessings 💜

  • @conniegreco8409
    @conniegreco8409 Рік тому

    ❤️

  • @jsjb3468
    @jsjb3468 10 місяців тому +2

    "don't talk about yourself too much"

  • @artemisqueen2
    @artemisqueen2 Рік тому

    Hi Alex, i would love to touch base with you for a speaking session for a group of Environmental Public Health professionals from Canada. We have a tough enforcement role but unlike the police we are more often challenged and can find ourselves in tough situations. It is essential for us be able to communicate effectively in those situations and also other situations where we are dealing with the public. I find that women tend to have more challenges in this role then their make counterparts, especially in small town settings.

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Рік тому

      Thank you for the inquiry. I'll have to pass on the opportunity. I'm not taking on any new clients at this time.

  • @kawaiime4714
    @kawaiime4714 Рік тому +1

    How to listen when you don't want to? The person is important but I can't seem to get curious about them

    • @alexanderlyon
      @alexanderlyon  Рік тому +2

      Sometimes, curiosity is a choice.

    • @kawaiime4714
      @kawaiime4714 Рік тому +1

      @@alexanderlyon A choice you say.... I won't know until I try, I guess.
      A choice,okay 👍

  • @commentator8724
    @commentator8724 Рік тому

    What if the person keep talking about himself with no interest to hear your view?

  • @FRAILT
    @FRAILT Рік тому

    why would anyone want to have a conversation with anyone? thats humanities curse…the spoke word

  • @invertedpolarity6890
    @invertedpolarity6890 Рік тому

    Shorts suck. Just make a video even if it’s only 2 minutes.

  • @EaselCat
    @EaselCat Рік тому

    For the love of gawd shorts are stupid