It’s not complicated. Tell him that you will agree to it if he agrees that he only gets to spends the same amount as you do a month. Believe me he will change his mind.
I got married at 21 and am fortunate to be with a person who's always been progressive and has become even more so over the years. I am an exception. I don't recommend getting married young because of seeing so many women face the exact scenario you mentioned.
It could be considered rape-by-fraud which some states protect against so Amy might have a case against him depending on where they live. She never would have slept with him if she'd known he didn't have a vasectomy and was full-on married and not separated.
It would be difficult to prosecute but technically it could be considered a form of SA, because Amy wasn't given the knowledge to fully consent. That being said given there was no tampering with birth control it would be a he said/she said situation & I don't think it would even go to court. It's morally wrong, but legally he'd probably get away with it.
@@catT5236 Yeah i dont think the law is there yet. But it could be alike to not informing your sexual partner of a STD and lying that you don't have it. At least most STDs are treatable. This man intentionally got her pregnant. And If he didnt think she would get pregnant he's an idiot.
@@carlie12B ironically there's actually precedence with STDs, particularly HIV, so that would be more likely to go to court if it could be shown to "have a long term negative impact" on her life & he knowingly kept the information from her. I believe that's what it's based on.
If you want a woman who cooks elaborate dinners, always looks done up and serves you, you better be a man who contributes 100% of the finances of the home AND 100% of her “fun money”
Yup, I cater to my husband, and take care of everything at the house. But I get to spend what I want, and am not expected to keep a job on top of it. When my youngest goes to school I might pick up something part time, just because I want to, but it's not expected. And my husband would never dare treat me like these red pillers. He says half my money is yours, because you do half the work. I don't really ask to buy something unless it's more than 300-400 bucks, then I'll mention it. Can't imagine him treating me like a maid, even though most of my job is cleaning.
@@mommabear887same here. Rn my job has slowed down (I’ve only worked 3 days this month) My husband works 4 days a week, up to 12hr days some days, and he makes about $1.5k every two weeks. I take care of the house work, I cook, make his plate and drink and take it to him, get his outfit ready for the next day, and basically do most of what he needs done (I do this willingly, it’s how I show my love) And he gives me some spending money for myself and I don’t spend most of it bc I’m saving for something. I told him what I planned on getting, and he said that what he gave me is mine to spend however I want. OPs husband sounds controlling. And OP sounds like the perfect wife.
Could you imagine being 24 and finally dating and the first person you meet is a pathological liar that knocks you up? The other woman really took the L on this one
Sadly manipulative narcissistic men love young naive girls. That's what Amy is she is still a girl with zero experience. She honestly doesn't stand a chance. Girls know if he does it with you(cheat) he will do it to you. Amy will reach out when she sees the truth and takes of her rose colored glasses.
My ex got red pilled during our relationship and I genuinely thought that I could fix it. I was the only one with a job and a car, running a business on the side and going to school. The relationship ended bc he wanted a year long break to sleep around and told me that if I did the same during our break, he would be so disgusted he would never touch me again. He used to talk about body counts and low value women all the time and I couldn’t take it anymore. I ended the relationship and I am now in the happiest relationship I’ve ever been in while he’s single and blowing up my phone weekly to try and get me back. Red pill ruins lives and doesn’t work.
Id just proudly tell him you must be too low value for him because you now have a bigger body count than the local morgue, even if you hadn't been with anyone else lol. F him and his judgmental BS and double standards, you deserve better
Dude some guy acted like that on the first few dates and couldn't understand that it's repulsive. He also blew my phone up for weeks. Had no career or car... Trying to make me feel small so he could build me back up to serve him. So obvious and gross.
If you think about it, she was saving about $12,000 a year because each of them got fifteen hundred a month and she said she was only spending about$500 a month so our girl had a cushion and I think that's initially what set him off. Knowing that she had all this money and he didn't have anything of his own because he spends too much. And he's killing himself at work cuz he wants to be a finance bro LOL it's going to be really funny when he realizes all that golf money is about to be spent on baby stuff
@@izzy5935she mentioned in her post that she was spending about $500 out of the $1500 meaning that she was saving about $1000 monthly and $12000 anually.
There is another update: amy offered op 17k to move out. Op sent her EVERYTHING that desputes his story. Amy chose to fogiven him as durt bag x husband confessed and said he only lied because he was so in love with amy and knew she would say no if she knew the truth. Not only did she buy that ( which is ridiculous! Why did he stay with his wife if it wasnt because she was a drug addict nothing without him?) But the girl litteraly thought it was romatic..."he loves me so much he would lie to me". Amys in for a, well deserved, rough ride.
So it sounds like her husband was getting red pill brainwashed while also having an affair and the tipping point was finding out his "low value" wife not only makes the same amount of money but has a LOT more in "fun money" than him while being able to not have to work "as hard" & it sent him over the egde which led to the "attack". Which lets be honest, what this husband launched was a mental attack on his wife because it sounds like this came out of left field for her.
that, but it also sounds like financial abuse. It sounds like he feels uncomfortable with the fact that she has enough funds to get away from him anytime she wants to without him knowing the amount that she has saved.
This woman is unreal levels of perfect. A great career. A money saver. An amazing cook. Super fit- a runner so probably an amazing figure. And she's a gamer girl, meaning she's so many guys (and girls) ideal type. Oh my LORD.
Yeah, that dude successfully f**ked up the rest of his whole life by thinking he could do better than this Goddess. 😂😅❤🎉 He's going to UNALIVE alone and he'll have nobody to blame but himself.
He wanted his side piece and the combined income of 400,000. I don't think he thought she would leave, which is why her having access to money to leave him, bothered him. Especially cause he's been blowing his probably on dates and hotel rooms.
So all that crap he said to her before he left was a calculated strategy to not only blow up the marriage, But take her for everything she has while simultaneously boning someone else. This man is a sociopath, especially for lying to his new baby mama.
@@Emi_TheWingedI mean... She's 24, even if you have never been intimate or dated we've all seen movies and heard stories about men saying stuff like that sooo I think she knew damn well that she was the side chick but preferred to just ignore it
The fact he referred to it as “financial infidelity” makes me think he feels entitled to her income. The possessiveness in demanding he knows what she spends her fun money on really seems like a red flag
@@SaltyMouse10he is. He’s spending it on his girlfriend. He wants her money in the joint account so he can spend it on his girlfriend that he can’t afford otherwise.
I thought he was cheating when she made the most amazing sounding meal and glammed herself up and he just said “it’s a start.” I flip out when my sister makes me chocolate pancakes.
Agreed. Literally who the fuck thinks they're entitled to have someone cook fresh meals for them three or four times a day + look like a model while eating those meals???
Update said he was cheating with a younger female colleague who was 'pure', got her knocked up, lied about the wife's past, and who was the owner of house, etc.
He was already planning to leave her way before she overhauled her gaming set up. This had nothing to do with her making a big purchase without consulting him about it, it had to do with him wanting as much money possible in the divorce. Because with them having their finances set up this way it would be a pretty clear split for a judge when this gets to court they keep their own retirement accounts as well as their fun money and split their joint account (assets like cars and house are different) so he wants as much money in the joint account as possible so that he will get more money from her in the divorce. Also, he was trying to guilt trip her into thinking it was her fault by telling her she was low value and not keeping up with her wifely duties so when the divorce was happening she wouldn’t fight it and give him what he wants out of guilt. This is disgusting.
Even then, the house might go to her since she inherited it from her family. At least, in my country, the house would count as a "bien dotal" and so can't be given to anyone else without the inheritor's consent.
@@happilyevernever4289 I think she said that he invested a lot of money in a major renovation in the house, and the house has gained significantly in value since then, so he would be entitled to some of that appreciation value. So, instead of doing that, she decided to give him a majority of the cash instead. It was a compromise for her.
The house will go to her. She brought it into the marriage. It's not joint property. What you own when you get married doesn't become joint just because you married.
If she’s been running for a while then it’s not actually too crazy to do 40-50 miles a week. That means she’s running one to two hours a day per week which is probably the amount of UA-cam I watch per day while sitting on my couch 😂😂😂 Time to change up my routine. This lady has inspired me!
I was just about to say when I did cross country in middle school we had three three-hour practices a week and we'd run on average 9 mi each day. If you total in the miscellaneous walking I did throughout the week that's 40 mi easily. Even if you're "walking" a 2 mi it'll take you around 30 to 40 minutes at most.
One thing that helped me was couch to 5k because I always make the mistake of pushing too hard too fast. You need to start slow and work your way up. And it’s ok to watch UA-cam while you clean, sweep, etc around the house and not feel lazy 🤣🤣
he absolutely felt inferior to her because she had so much money saved up. he thought about how that makes her incredibly independent and she could up and leave at anytime, while he would struggle to maintain his lifestyle if either of them decided to end this relationship, and decided he needed a tradwife so that way she's entirely financially dependent on him. and he's the big breadwinner, and completely in control of her. he feels out of control and less than in this relationship now that he knows she's got money saved up. so incredibly insecure, man needs therapy
Right on the money, its crazy to me when people in a relationship compete with their partner instead of biulding their life together, put that logic in any sport and it would comicly fail
@@braam39They both had fun money, they both agreed they could do whatever they wanted with it, they had the same ammount put into each account every month, he just spent his while she saved, she wasn't hiding anything, her hobbies were just not as expensive as his.
How much do you want to bet the same guy is going around online throwing pity parties for himself claiming hes a victim of the divorce, saying hes being screwed over and its unfair and women ruin lives and blah blah blah. Because id day its pretty likely
🙋🏻♀️i also spoke to the "other woman". I was scared too; i was certain he had been lying about me so i figured she would yell all kinds of insults but i was so curious to meet the girl who would date a man that i was slowly realising was abusive. I wanted to give her a chance, just incase she was being abused by him too and didnt realize it. I wanted to explain he left me bc i finally stood my ground and told him no and wondered if he treated her badly if she ever denied sex. We met and she got right to the point with "i knoe this is weird, and i know he cheated on you with me and you have no reason to speak to me. But i need you, as a woman, to listen to me." So i said okay and told her to talk. She explained she had no idea he was in relationship until after he left me. She explained that after he left me he told her i was a drunk and he had had enough; said she grew up with a drunk, knows what thats like but could clearly see from how i drove up to the resteraunt and in my face that i was not a drunk. [I mentioned then that i also had someone with subtance abuse in my family and for that reason was a bit afaid of alchol] She said about a week after they started living together his attiude changed and asked if i had experienced that, i told her yes. I explained how mean he was when i refused sex and how guilty he would make me feel. Revealed how he never picked up after himself bc "thats the female partners job" and how i thought that bc he was kind and progressive *sometimes* that i thought he was still growing as a person and he would change. Revealed that towards the end of the relationship i began to feel anxiety about coming home and being around him and right before he left "for her" i had feared he would physically harm me. She sat, quietly, listened, and eventually pulled her top off her left shoulder to show me a bandage. "We were in the hammock i have on my balcony, listening to music and enjoying the night air. He was smoking and i didnt mind it. i fell asleep against him but woke up in pain and him cursing. He *dropped* his ciggarett on me as he was falling asleep and cursed himself, fussed over the burn. I assured him it was an accident and went to wash it but the longer i was alone the weirder i felt about it." She then told me she had no reason to doubt him but had a twisting feeling in her stomach that got worse every time she cuddled with him over the next few days and decided to reach out to me without speaking to him. I told her that i though he burned her on purpose and wanted to see your reaction. Maybe wanted to mark you, like that somehow meant he had a claim over you. That was how i felt about it and she started crying and agreed. This is why i wanted to meet the other woman. I wanted to make sure another woman wasnt being harmed. And im glad i did bc she was being harmed and she reminded me SO much of myself. Physically we look similar, but our pasts with our families and our values are similar too. Were both strong and young but have experienced trauma and struggle to identify it bc we crave kindness we didnt recieve growing up. We spoke for hours, the resteraunt staff let us stay while they cleaned for closing- our waiter having noticed all the tears 3 hours earlier and asked if we needed any help or if he could get us anything. It was obvious she was distressed and he excused himself for prying but we assured him it was alright. Anyways, the resteraunt staff was very kind and brought us a little slice of cake while they closed lol I asked if she needed help getting him out and she accepted greatfully. We first called my dad, who came immediatly and stood outside her apartment while we went in and told him to get out and never come back or contact us again. He started shouting and that was all my dad needed to barge in and grab him. By the neck, i might add. I hadnt revealed *everything* to my dad, just said he had hurt us and we felt scared he wouldnt leave if there wasnt a man there to intimidate him. I guess that was enough to really upset my dad, rightfully so, and he didnt need to hear more to know he wanted to punch our ex. "Other woman" and i are good friends today. Taught me a lot about feminism and supporting one another. If a man ever cheats on me again, i think ill still give the other woman a chance to talk if she reaches out.
The sound that escaped me when Amy got ballsy and was like "um.....like....you leaving soon?" 💀😭 I'm so irrationally proud of this woman I don't know for the way she handled what could only have been a nightmare for her. Thanks for a great episode. New to your content but really enjoy it! 😊
So I'm like 100% straight, HOWEVER, I would marry OP. LIKE THAT WOMAN IS THE PERFECT WIFE. She went about this in such a graceful way, she wasn't super spiteful, she cooks, she cleans, she has her own hobbies, she has a stable and well paying career, I DO NOT CARE THAT SHE SLEPT WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE, SHE IS A CATCH. (Sleeping with someone/having previous partners does not "lower your value", I will die on that hill)
@@jessicavogt1690its nothing that logical. Being a virgin only has value for women from their perspective. A man thats virgin is actually worthless, being sexually succesfull is connected to masculinity, while purity is connected to feminity. Thats why she's "low value". A slut is inherently female to them🙄
You are so right about the red pill thing. I grew up in a cult and was trained to be that woman with no personality and just serve. When I left the cult, men in the real world were actually freaked out by it! (Which was very lucky for me)
I wouldn’t surprised if he didn’t tell Amy how the divorce settled. He probably planned to come home one day from “court” and say he lost the house to her in the settlement. Also if they get married he’s definitely going to throw a wrench in her career progression too.
My thoughts exactly (violin playing )“aw shucks, my awful ex managed to get the house because the justice system is biased towards women, as well as most of my money. She is the one running our life after all I did for her!” So on and so forth.
Wonder if knocking up Amy was also his way of trying to eliminate competition with her. She is younger than him doing the same jobs and interviewing for similar positions. Likely didn't bod well with his ego.
This woman sounds like the dream honestly. She is absolutely NOT the a-hole. This man has NOTHING but the audacity to 1. Tell her to return everything she bought and 2. Put all the money SHE saved into their joint account.
Dude wanted to cap the fun money accounts at $2000? With the way she saved, that means she couldn't even have 2 months of her normal savings build up in her fun money account. He 100% didn't want her to have financial independence and a way out.
She did nothing that violated the terms of their financial agreement, sounds like he was already being unfaithful and was just looking for a reason to start beef and cast his wife as the offending party in the relationship.
He called all of that basic adulting????? I see the issue now. He is threatened by how much money she has and the house is technically hers. He wants to force her into a stay at home roll and he has control of all the money smh
17:12 - I KNEW IT! I knew something (or someone) made him want his wife to start dressing up more. That kind of request doesn't just come out of the blue!
One thing sticks out to me, amy said they met when Joe and her were both trying for the same job. Anyone think he got this girl pregnant so shed have to take leave and he would be considered better option for the position?
That actually entered my mind too, _especially_ since he claimed he had a vasectomy which he knew influenced her decision to not use any birth control. The more I think about it, the more I believe _he_ baby-trapped _her_ with their “miracle baby.” Yes, she could’ve continued taking/using bc on her own, but as far as she knew, he was this trust-worthy, empathetic hero. She likely thought since there were “zero” chances for pregnancy or STDs, condoms or birth control weren’t necessary. It is obvious that he’s felt inferior to OP for a very long time; all of his lies about how they met and about their marriage revolve around making OP “less than” him (just a poor dumb addict dropout that he saved and pities because she needs him.) It’s actually sick that that’s the situation he’d prefer for someone he once claimed to love; he wished she was sad, needy and pathetic instead of a successful, loving, happy woman. The real life retcon of OP’s and his past and present revolves around her happiness and success being _completely_ dependent on him; he erases any hint of independence from OP. None of this bodes well for Amy’s future. Although I don’t think a person necessarily needs experience in dating to find “married but separated for her sake” questionable, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hand-picked her *specifically* for her naivety and inexperience. I also wouldn’t be surprised if she has a small or no support system and/or is low or no contact with her family. Disgustingly, that’d make her even more “perfect” to him. She’d *NEED* him like OP did/does in his imagination; unfortunately, whatever future Amy had envisioned with him was _never_ going to happen, and he knew it. If she doesn’t leave him, I think her life will be much worse than she ever could’ve imagined. Although I can’t imagine how painful and humiliating this situation might’ve been for OP, I see her future just getting even brighter without him. Imho, Amy’s future, on the other hand, has become dark; hopefully she figures that out before it’s too late.
Baby trapping her to steal her job was not something that had occurred to me. It's so damn crazy logically but nor less logical than the high/low value crap he was toting. I did however get the ick from this 24 year old being in the same program as a 33 year old. Sounds like this dude has a thing for breaking down women that are more high value than he is.
Oh gosh Joe really is a psycho if thats the case. Amy is an idiot. How do you not know the relationship status of your coworker before sleeping with him. Stupid young Amy.
I was impressed by this woman's emotional intelligence, many people would give in and accept the demands without realizing the manipulation, but she created a strategy, confirmed her suspicions and knows her value
i feel like i’m the beginning he was definitely trying to finically entrap her but when he found out she actually did have finical independence he freaked out
Ex is in for a shock when the baby comes and his lover isn't a skinny young piece anymore. Stretch marks and a poochy tummy are in his future. Also, babies require time and attention. They poop, barf, and piss. Say goodbye to her perfect grooming.
I remember reading this as it was happening to OP. I cannot wait for her to update about him begging for her back. His life is to be shit..with the new pregnant girlfriend..and the audacity of the AP to tell OP to give up HER house for the baby...the AP is a complete moron who believed the clear lies of this loser is going to have the worst kind of life if she stays with him.
I had a sheltered upbringing and was also too naive for my age when young…. But even if you don’t have first hand experience dating, by age 24 you still know not to get pregnant by a coworker who is your superior and is married!! I mean… C’mon girl!
I am a woman who's never had sex and probably never will but I'd leave his ass as soon as he tries to bring that bullshit into our relationship, even if I'm considered a high value woman because I never had sex, and I like to cook/clean, I would never stay with ANYONE who thinks about woman like that
Same except I don’t like to cook/clean beyond getting food and not living in filth. Staying with someone that thinks just bodycount can make a women worthless is immoral as it “rewards” and enables the redpillers to have an example of their abuse of women not negatively effecting their ability to settle down at all despite encouraging the use of women to get a high body count and not accepting those same women as long term partners.
Tbh, I can blame the 24yo a little bit for not confirming the story at all. Yes, she has no dating experience, and cheating is definitely the cheater (Joe)'s fault above all, but she's also not a child. I actually was in a relationship where my (now husband) was living with his ex wife due to cost of living and co-parenting. As much as I liked him, I didn’t fully trust his story until I actually met his ex wife and their kid and saw that he was being honest with all of us. He was always extremely open with me about finances and divorce paperwork, etc. So it can happen the right way, but you have to confirm. If they are not EAGER to show you all the proof of their honesty, they are probably lying.
Oh I can definitely blame her bc at the end of the day she slept with somebody else's husband and was not deterred from it when she found out and then got knocked up and decided to keep the baby? I wouldn't care what story he spun me until you are legally separated from her I'm not having no kids with you nor am I dating you without true proof 🤨 ALSO THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING LONG??? Like wtf for someone who's supposed to be a 24 year old prodigy she's pretty f*cking stupid Also her trying to claim their child is a miracle baby because he supposedly had a vasectomy... Ma'am that's not what a miracle baby is 💀 that's just an accident no matter what way you want to spin it that baby is an accident and let's say he did get one and this still happened that means he should go to the doctor cuz that should not be POSSIBLE after surgery 😭 tf?? And I wonder what lie he plans on spinning as to why they can't get the house cuz she doesn't believe everything OP said anyway and still probably doesn't believe the house is LEGALLY hers
@@xxprettyrwbyxx3857she is probably smart in her field and naive in the streets. If she grew up very sheltered (like I did or worse) I am not surprised at all that she would not verify and just believe him. You just don’t understand if youve never lived it.
I read this on Reddit a while back and was so glad she got herself out of that situation. I hope the new woman can get away someday too since that scum probably trapped her
He definitely did cuz he lied saying he got a vasectomy so she wouldn't take birth control cuz after being told that why would she? He's a sick ass weirdo on top of all the other s*** that he lied to her about especially about OP men's created a whole Wattpad story on her😅 I feel like another reason he cheated cuz he was getting this red pill mentality he felt like his time to have children was running out or that he wasn't a real man without having a "typical" household? bc they were first child free but now all of a sudden he's okay with knocking up a random b**** from work? Mmmm not making sense on his end
The separate fun money account was a good idea... her mistake was not having access to monitor his spending. Guarantee she would have realized that he was spending his fun money on his side chick
Yeah but that is less of a mistake and more an extra thing she could have done to find out he is bad sooner. You are supposed to be able to trust your romantic partner to not pull stuff like that and give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. The real fault is the relationship basically being giving ginger(her) to a monkey(the cheating liar).
Well one thing is for sure. Her ex husband is going to get the life he deserves. Just feel bad for the baby being born to this mess. This was an excellent one story ep. 🎉
The audacity of that man to shame her for not being a virgin but has a side piece in a monogamous relationship. This is the perfect example as to why money, looks, effort, etc. It doesn't matter because the issue is the person cheating. I watched my dad try his best for years just for it to never be good enough for my mom and she had been cheating the entire time. I hope anyone watching this that may be experiencing something similar notices the red flags and does what they need to to get out of a toxic relationship.
Also the commenter may have been on to something. The fact that most of her free time was around recouping her mental health could have been partially due to the marriage.
The fact that the husband dated down is so crazy to me lol. Like cheating is wrong but at least make it somewhat beneficial to you. He’s an idiotic, compulsive liar
Oh that was on purpose. Amy is probably a “high value woman” - he was her first and got knocked up by him, she probably makes less than him, and is probably gonna try to make her be a “traditional woman” by making her stay home, quit her job so she loses her employment skills and makes her do all the house work and child rearing, to hold power over her, to make up for the fact that his ex did better than him and his ego was hurt.
Putting a limit on how much money your partner is allowed to accumulate sounds scary abusive. Noone should limit your financial freedom, noone should feel entitled to what you have acquired. Omg I was right. He didn't want her to have enough money to be on her own. 🤮
I honestly did like the one story, definitely something to throw in once in a while. I had a really bad day today, yalls commentary reminds me of my friends and it’s truly comforting, thank you ❤
I'm honestly astonished! How do you cheat on a woman of that caliber?! This man had a diamond mine, and he went out looking for some rhinestones! This man traded a Lexus for a Kia! This man traded a Toyota for a Ford! This man traded a PS5 for an Xbox series X!
This dude legit f'd up his life. He is not going to be able to afford the lifestyle he wants with a kid. And he clearly lacks the maturity (both emotional and financial) to raise one. I feel so sorry for OP, Amy (even though she should have known better, being in experience with dating is one thing, but dude legit told you he was married) and the kid.There is most likely going to be an update in the future and op may even have to ask for a restraining order after this fool realized what he loss.
@@comfortlevelpodcastyea and she would not believe OP when she told her that she inherited the house. I wanted to slap some sense into Any..what a complete tool that girl is.
26:20 is so funny cause i remember seeing a tiktok of a girl crying to her boyfriend cause she missed out on who he was as a person before they met and this guy took it to another level where he's punishing her for the person she was before they met. like sorry she has a past dude lol
That conversation between Amy and OP needed to happen when that working relationship changed to personal. Amy needed to question everything back then. I did the same with my partner, before we ever got involved, because he too was in another relationship. Waiting that long is too little, too late.
They put $1500ea in their separate accounts every month. She only uses about $500 of it every month, leaving $1,000 in her account at the end of each month. That's $12,000 per YEAR. and over the course of 10 years, that equates to about $120,000 total! Minus the $5,000 spent on her gaming set up that leaves her with about $115,000 left over. So YES the has more than enough money to pay for EVERYTHING‼️😭
Omg! That last update would of made me bust out laughing if I was her. How low does that man have to be to make up such terrible lies about his WIFE to get a younger girl to sleep with him. Like his personality and looks must be terrible or something.
12:40 as a parent with a similar financial set up, anything for the kids comes out of the joint account UNLESS it’s something way outside the monthly budget allotted. If I want to buy my daughter some special dress that’s kind of pricey, I’ll usually just use my fun money unless there’s a large surplus in the joint account.
My husband and I have a similar situation with each having a "fun money" account, and he currently has a more expensive hobby and my fun money account is getting fat and he's a little envious, but he would never question me about what I spend it on, because that is our deal, it is judgement free money. This has been such a benefit to our relationship because for years he didn't have any hobbies and I did. These accounts were set up initially for my benefit, but it allowed him to start up a hobby without feeling like he was taking money from the family.
I'm so happy for OP for being able to leave that horrible, manipulative man, but I'm so SO sad for Amy, who got entrapted with a baby at such a young age by a lying, horrible man. Maybe Amy also made a post somewhere?? can you imagine??
I hope there is an update about how the guy's life goes downhill because now he and his girlfriend are going to have to find either a bigger apartment or buy a house. And if he marries her then if she has any debt that carries over into the marriage. Not to mention all the expenses that come with having a baby! Guy is going to go into the red due to all these new expenses because the 75% isn't going to last forever and since he doesn't have good money management he is going to squander it quickly instead of putting it towards this new family. While the 24 y.o. mistress is an idiot, I can't fault her because a good number of people are dumb and delusional at that age in the romance department. I'm speaking from experience. I do hope she sorts out all the lies he's telling her because it will be only a matter of time he is looking to trade her in as well, and unfortunately she is tied to him to life due to having a child with him. I really want to know how he explains to his girlfriend why he didn't get the house in the divorce and why he'll be asking her to look into houses/apartments for them to move into. Because he definitely wouldn't put in the effort to do that.
Regarding the house, he will likely make up a sob story about how the justice system “took his house” because of bias towards women and how the OP is “out to get them” and sued for all his (fantasy) money because she evil…etc. There a ton of stories he can make up to gaslight the mistress for a few years, sadly.
He wanted to divorce her so he wanted all of her fun money in the joint so he could cash out in the divorce. He's basically trying to beat her down to rob her with everything she has.
50:39 beepbeepboop!! I’m here as your reminder (as requested) lol as of 10/14/2024-Clicked “most popular” and watched this! It’s been a yearrrrrr wassup with the update?!
SO glad I watched this because I just realized that my ex convinced me that I was bad at relationships! He would always make things my fault and never take responsibility., even when he blew up at me. It took me a while to realize he'd gotten redpilled and then, after walking away, I did a bunch of work to rebuild myself but it never dawned on me just how deeply he had affected me. Wow, this is some insidious shit, and completely unacceptable to be such a bad influence in someone else's life. Who the fuck do these people think they are?! Get help, go live in a desert, why be such a toxic influence?!
16:14 - I was gonna say maybe they could try counseling, because it sounds like a deeper problem than just the money. But after THAT comment, it's clear he doesn't like her. Time for divorce.
The advice, from experience, is that if they are living with their ex RUN AWAY. Idgaf if they're not married, if they're living together the answer is no. There is a reason and you don't want to be in that situation. Also, if they're constantly talking absolute shit about their ex? Just move along. It's not worth it.
I would like to start by saying that I'm so happy you randomly popped up in my suggestions. This is my first video, and I am definitely going to subscribe! Now about the story, this is wild from beginning to end, and it's crazy that he manipulated both ladies so maniacally. Even down to him baby-trapping the new girl so that she'd be less likely to leave. I also wonder if he was secretly hoping that OP's birth control would fail at some point and he'd get her pregnant. Like maybe he's the kind of person who gets off on taking a woman in a high-powered position and making her financially dependent on him.
I only just stumbled over this channel and I'm very positively surprised! You're dealing with issues I care about but it feels wholesome to listen. That's really special!
17:22 And there it is. I had my suspicions, but I didn't want to go there just yet. People don't usually start talking that kind of shit unless they think they found something better than what they have. And now this man has become the biggest hypocrite. You accuse your wife of financial infidelity, meanwhile you're committing actual infidelity, and dumping all up on her like she ain't shit, when the fact that a matter is, you ain't shit! Baby girl, please leave his ass! If you haven't already
my dad has run every LA marathon since 1982. he was an alcoholic so replaced one addition to a better one lol. he runs every other day anywhere from 13-28 miles. since he goes running around 5 am he’s done around 7-8 am.
I just want to say that I SINCERELY appreciate that EVERYONE reading this just immediately went “Aw hell nah.” The second that the first red flag started fluttering in from the edge of the camera. Like, they didn’t even get to the edits or responses, they all unanimously agreed NTA, from the get go.
i feel like joe was just gonna be like “uhhh that b! she took everything from me in the divorce 😢I’m sorry baby” and then Amy wouldn’t have known anything
It was worth it to sit here the whole time. Personally; I hate “parted” stories as a preference. I know some folks don’t have that kinda time though so I don’t bring it up unless it’s mentioned. In fact, for your analytics; I picked your vid from an AITAH search so I could set a timer for tasks. I need my brain to be absorbed for sensory hell-tasks so a good story is the cure for me. (Nd) hence not having to stop an ick task to wash my hands and find part two being extremely accessible for me to just binge tf outta your content and Boop the buttons in kind. Thx for the post! I’m tired listening so I know these are a good amount of work to make and produce.
Liked before I even started listening. I've been kind of obsessed over your podcast the last month. Also, Maddie you are looking so cute! Guys, you too (I don't want you to feel left out lol) Thanks for another great episode!
My second relationship i was in, back in my 20s, i was his first, he was 23, we were together for a decade. Half way through he was diagnosed with cancer. I had left him a few months before he was diagnosed. I offered to get back together, he said my money woukd help since he would be on partial disability. We were back and forth the last 5 years. He was deemed in full remission at that point. A month later he walks in and says he knew how he "caught" cancer. It was because i had one previous partner before him and that he always considered me diseased because of that. That was the end of me ever respecting him and finally left for good few months later when the abuse ramped up and i had to call the police. He use to always go on rants he wished it was cold war times so he could better control me and such. He was redpill before that stuff existed on UA-cam. Its a mindset that terrifying.
So, not going to lie.. i found this channel because my favorite daily UA-cam video is from Charlotte Dobre. Someone left a really nasty comment putting her down the day before yesterday. Really sad because she's awesome and i look forward to her post everyday, just wish they were longer. Well, she hasn't posted since. She usually posts daily. Really sad about it, but i decided to look around and try to find something else since there's no new vids. And i LOVE you guys. This vid really filled a bit of a void for me today!! You got my sub, and I'll be looking out for you guys now, just as i do for her!! Thank you! I was so bummed she'd let that sicco get to her! New fan of yours here
Hi guys. Love your podcast! I used to be in cross country and it really depends on how fast she runs her miles and if she has inclines throughout her runs. Running 7-8 miles could take 1-2 hours a day possibly 2.5. It all really depends.
SHE MAKES 200k and the inherited house is hers, runs , has hobbies, can cook LIKE MARTHA STEWART but low value???? ya know the redpill shit is so sad and horrific; to see people easily suckered out of their beautiful lives from the “mentoring” of people who they truly know nothing aboUT MAKES my brain leak out of my ears
Somewhat similar situation. We had a joint account until the bank tattled on him for paying for cam girls with a "suspicious charger" message. Suddenly he transferred all the (we both worked) into a different account and closed the account (bank didn't tell me because both our names are on thr account). He'd get mad if I ever bought anything for myself of went over his BS budget. Another part to remember about financial abuse is that it isn't always about what's being spent, but also sabotaging income. He dropped out of college. I have a science degree and when I do have a job he would call the job to constantly "check up" on me which doesn't look good job wise.
He probably wanted her to put the fun money in the joint account so when they get divorced he can claim it as shared property.
While simultaneously draining her account with all of these lavish meals, table setting and dresses . Really hope karma bites his ass real good lol
@@imjade1520probably as a way to keep the house.
It’s not complicated. Tell him that you will agree to it if he agrees that he only gets to spends the same amount as you do a month. Believe me he will change his mind.
@@8LyJu8he can't keep the house. She inherited it from her grandma
@@hekimeti1614 yes, but putting financial preassure could make her make some concessions
Getting married young and having your husband get red pill rage almost a decade in is a millennial/gen z horror story😭
As a millenial, the amount of times I've seen it makes me way more comfortable being a spinnster.
I got married at 21 and am fortunate to be with a person who's always been progressive and has become even more so over the years. I am an exception. I don't recommend getting married young because of seeing so many women face the exact scenario you mentioned.
So scary 😢
Happened to me, luckily minus the marriage and divorce.
Marketing 101: if you don't have an audience for your product, make one.
@@ricebeansrockroll882😊
Man had both a perfect wife AND A FREE HOUSE(???) and threw it all away. Super high value move,Joe.
100% even if he didnt love her thats a great person right there.
If someone lied about having a vasectomy is that a crime? It feels like it should be.
It could be considered rape-by-fraud which some states protect against so Amy might have a case against him depending on where they live. She never would have slept with him if she'd known he didn't have a vasectomy and was full-on married and not separated.
It would be difficult to prosecute but technically it could be considered a form of SA, because Amy wasn't given the knowledge to fully consent. That being said given there was no tampering with birth control it would be a he said/she said situation & I don't think it would even go to court. It's morally wrong, but legally he'd probably get away with it.
@@catT5236 Yeah i dont think the law is there yet. But it could be alike to not informing your sexual partner of a STD and lying that you don't have it. At least most STDs are treatable. This man intentionally got her pregnant. And If he didnt think she would get pregnant he's an idiot.
I think in some places.
@@carlie12B ironically there's actually precedence with STDs, particularly HIV, so that would be more likely to go to court if it could be shown to "have a long term negative impact" on her life & he knowingly kept the information from her. I believe that's what it's based on.
If you want a woman who cooks elaborate dinners, always looks done up and serves you, you better be a man who contributes 100% of the finances of the home AND 100% of her “fun money”
^^^ you want a traditional woman, you need to be the traditional man to provide for the lifestyle
@@murasakiflowers u also need to be emotionally there for your spouse just like they do for u.
@@murasakiflowers❤❤❤
Yup, I cater to my husband, and take care of everything at the house. But I get to spend what I want, and am not expected to keep a job on top of it. When my youngest goes to school I might pick up something part time, just because I want to, but it's not expected. And my husband would never dare treat me like these red pillers. He says half my money is yours, because you do half the work. I don't really ask to buy something unless it's more than 300-400 bucks, then I'll mention it. Can't imagine him treating me like a maid, even though most of my job is cleaning.
@@mommabear887same here. Rn my job has slowed down (I’ve only worked 3 days this month)
My husband works 4 days a week, up to 12hr days some days, and he makes about $1.5k every two weeks. I take care of the house work, I cook, make his plate and drink and take it to him, get his outfit ready for the next day, and basically do most of what he needs done (I do this willingly, it’s how I show my love)
And he gives me some spending money for myself and I don’t spend most of it bc I’m saving for something. I told him what I planned on getting, and he said that what he gave me is mine to spend however I want.
OPs husband sounds controlling. And OP sounds like the perfect wife.
Could you imagine being 24 and finally dating and the first person you meet is a pathological liar that knocks you up? The other woman really took the L on this one
and she is stuck with him forever 😭
Best thing she could do for herself and her kid is take that baby and run. He’s not going to be a good husband or father.
So horrible
Sadly manipulative narcissistic men love young naive girls. That's what Amy is she is still a girl with zero experience. She honestly doesn't stand a chance. Girls know if he does it with you(cheat) he will do it to you. Amy will reach out when she sees the truth and takes of her rose colored glasses.
Something tells me that they aren’t gunna last long.
My ex got red pilled during our relationship and I genuinely thought that I could fix it. I was the only one with a job and a car, running a business on the side and going to school. The relationship ended bc he wanted a year long break to sleep around and told me that if I did the same during our break, he would be so disgusted he would never touch me again. He used to talk about body counts and low value women all the time and I couldn’t take it anymore. I ended the relationship and I am now in the happiest relationship I’ve ever been in while he’s single and blowing up my phone weekly to try and get me back. Red pill ruins lives and doesn’t work.
Lmao sounds like my ex who told me all this bs about how a woman needed to behave. It’s been almost a year and he still bothers me
Id just proudly tell him you must be too low value for him because you now have a bigger body count than the local morgue, even if you hadn't been with anyone else lol. F him and his judgmental BS and double standards, you deserve better
Dude some guy acted like that on the first few dates and couldn't understand that it's repulsive. He also blew my phone up for weeks. Had no career or car... Trying to make me feel small so he could build me back up to serve him. So obvious and gross.
@@itsjstjanetell him he's born in the wrong era
I bet he bought the top g 😂 course for sure
If you think about it, she was saving about $12,000 a year because each of them got fifteen hundred a month and she said she was only spending about$500 a month so our girl had a cushion and I think that's initially what set him off. Knowing that she had all this money and he didn't have anything of his own because he spends too much. And he's killing himself at work cuz he wants to be a finance bro LOL it's going to be really funny when he realizes all that golf money is about to be spent on baby stuff
No... 15 hundred is $1500
@@izzy5935she mentioned in her post that she was spending about $500 out of the $1500 meaning that she was saving about $1000 monthly and $12000 anually.
@@izzy5935I think they know that. She makes 1500. Spends 500. That’s 1000 a month. 12000 a year.
@@izzy59351500 a month. She said she only spends about 500, so shes saving 1000 a month. 12 months in a year means shes saving 12000 dollars a year
@@izzy5935The math makes sense: 1500 (per month) - 500 (average spending) = 1000 (remaining) x 12 (months in a year) = 12000 (total saved)
There is another update: amy offered op 17k to move out. Op sent her EVERYTHING that desputes his story. Amy chose to fogiven him as durt bag x husband confessed and said he only lied because he was so in love with amy and knew she would say no if she knew the truth. Not only did she buy that ( which is ridiculous! Why did he stay with his wife if it wasnt because she was a drug addict nothing without him?) But the girl litteraly thought it was romatic..."he loves me so much he would lie to me". Amys in for a, well deserved, rough ride.
I am.. disgusted
very sad that this is both her 1st relationship and partner. She's gonna put up with alot and he's gonna end up doing her even worse.
The worst part is that they're bringing a child into this mess. I can't even tell if he's gonna be more toxic to a son or a daughter.
So it sounds like her husband was getting red pill brainwashed while also having an affair and the tipping point was finding out his "low value" wife not only makes the same amount of money but has a LOT more in "fun money" than him while being able to not have to work "as hard" & it sent him over the egde which led to the "attack". Which lets be honest, what this husband launched was a mental attack on his wife because it sounds like this came out of left field for her.
You're absolutely right. This was definitely a calculated attack. IMHO, he's still a piece of crap
hot take: if your a grown ass adult who's brainwashed by the Red Pill shit they maybe your just an idiot
that, but it also sounds like financial abuse. It sounds like he feels uncomfortable with the fact that she has enough funds to get away from him anytime she wants to without him knowing the amount that she has saved.
Low value man tbh
He just sounds like a narcissist to me who is using the concepts of low value high value as a way to devalue his wife.
This woman is unreal levels of perfect. A great career. A money saver. An amazing cook. Super fit- a runner so probably an amazing figure. And she's a gamer girl, meaning she's so many guys (and girls) ideal type. Oh my LORD.
She’s probably pretty af too
Yeah, that dude successfully f**ked up the rest of his whole life by thinking he could do better than this Goddess. 😂😅❤🎉
He's going to UNALIVE alone and he'll have nobody to blame but himself.
Makes the story SOOOOOO believable
@@SakuraMoonflowerProbably because he is insecure she is such a complete package, it happens.
He is going to blame everything on his mistress
He was cheating way before that money fight notice he said “you don’t deserve monogamy”
That's exactly what I thought as soon as I heard that my thought went straight to he's cheating
He wanted his side piece and the combined income of 400,000. I don't think he thought she would leave, which is why her having access to money to leave him, bothered him. Especially cause he's been blowing his probably on dates and hotel rooms.
It's really sad that she thought she was in a happy, secure relationship, and it seems like he lowkey kinda hated her the whole time.
So all that crap he said to her before he left was a calculated strategy to not only blow up the marriage, But take her for everything she has while simultaneously boning someone else. This man is a sociopath, especially for lying to his new baby mama.
Yeah, I guess he wanted the money in her fun money account.
Wife's a low value woman bc she wasn't a virgin ,but Amy's not low value after being willing to have an affair with a married man?
Right?! Talk about two faced !
Make it make sense 😮
and to be having a child out of wed lock!
he did lie to her but i guess its still shitty in this situation
@@Emi_TheWingedI mean... She's 24, even if you have never been intimate or dated we've all seen movies and heard stories about men saying stuff like that sooo I think she knew damn well that she was the side chick but preferred to just ignore it
The fact he referred to it as “financial infidelity” makes me think he feels entitled to her income. The possessiveness in demanding he knows what she spends her fun money on really seems like a red flag
They make over $200k and he considers $5000 too much in fun money? The math ain’t mathing.
Plus there wasn’t a mortgage
Probably spending it elsewhere and trying to hide it from her.
Most likely he was trying to put it into the joint account so he could have a large slice of her saving in the divorce
@@SaltyMouse10he is. He’s spending it on his girlfriend. He wants her money in the joint account so he can spend it on his girlfriend that he can’t afford otherwise.
@@ell7991and spend it on his next victim….. I MEAN Girlfriend.
I thought he was cheating when she made the most amazing sounding meal and glammed herself up and he just said “it’s a start.” I flip out when my sister makes me chocolate pancakes.
Agreed. Literally who the fuck thinks they're entitled to have someone cook fresh meals for them three or four times a day + look like a model while eating those meals???
@@zadarasimoleons1019Redpoll bro's 😂
Update said he was cheating with a younger female colleague who was 'pure', got her knocked up, lied about the wife's past, and who was the owner of house, etc.
my sister will make ramen noodles and im the happiest person so i buy her a cake
He was already planning to leave her way before she overhauled her gaming set up. This had nothing to do with her making a big purchase without consulting him about it, it had to do with him wanting as much money possible in the divorce. Because with them having their finances set up this way it would be a pretty clear split for a judge when this gets to court they keep their own retirement accounts as well as their fun money and split their joint account (assets like cars and house are different) so he wants as much money in the joint account as possible so that he will get more money from her in the divorce. Also, he was trying to guilt trip her into thinking it was her fault by telling her she was low value and not keeping up with her wifely duties so when the divorce was happening she wouldn’t fight it and give him what he wants out of guilt. This is disgusting.
Even then, the house might go to her since she inherited it from her family. At least, in my country, the house would count as a "bien dotal" and so can't be given to anyone else without the inheritor's consent.
Why would he get more money from her, when he clearly cheated? He should be paying her for emotional damages for his infidelity.
@@happilyevernever4289 I think she said that he invested a lot of money in a major renovation in the house, and the house has gained significantly in value since then, so he would be entitled to some of that appreciation value. So, instead of doing that, she decided to give him a majority of the cash instead. It was a compromise for her.
The house will go to her. She brought it into the marriage. It's not joint property.
What you own when you get married doesn't become joint just because you married.
This struck me as a "pick a fight to make you divorce me so I don't have to" move
If she’s been running for a while then it’s not actually too crazy to do 40-50 miles a week. That means she’s running one to two hours a day per week which is probably the amount of UA-cam I watch per day while sitting on my couch 😂😂😂 Time to change up my routine. This lady has inspired me!
I was just about to say when I did cross country in middle school we had three three-hour practices a week and we'd run on average 9 mi each day. If you total in the miscellaneous walking I did throughout the week that's 40 mi easily. Even if you're "walking" a 2 mi it'll take you around 30 to 40 minutes at most.
Also you don't have to stop watching UA-cam while running or working out either. Just put on a vid and put in your airpods
@@kid-karti385this is exactly what I do
One thing that helped me was couch to 5k because I always make the mistake of pushing too hard too fast. You need to start slow and work your way up.
And it’s ok to watch UA-cam while you clean, sweep, etc around the house and not feel lazy 🤣🤣
I listen to youtube walking. It's not running but it helps.
I feel so bad for Amy....... this is going to be a horrifically abusive relationship
Yeah especially since most abusers escalate during pregnancy or shortly after child birth. She’s in for a very awful life
A little, but she DID choose to date a married man!
he absolutely felt inferior to her because she had so much money saved up. he thought about how that makes her incredibly independent and she could up and leave at anytime, while he would struggle to maintain his lifestyle if either of them decided to end this relationship, and decided he needed a tradwife so that way she's entirely financially dependent on him. and he's the big breadwinner, and completely in control of her. he feels out of control and less than in this relationship now that he knows she's got money saved up. so incredibly insecure, man needs therapy
Right on the money, its crazy to me when people in a relationship compete with their partner instead of biulding their life together, put that logic in any sport and it would comicly fail
@@livsweetdreamsbut they weren't building together she was hiding money?
@@braam39she wasn’t hiding money. it’s was own personal ‘fun’ funds that the husband is fully aware she gets.
@@braam39 there's nothing to hide, that's her own money and personal funds
@@braam39They both had fun money, they both agreed they could do whatever they wanted with it, they had the same ammount put into each account every month, he just spent his while she saved, she wasn't hiding anything, her hobbies were just not as expensive as his.
I will never understand how and where men get the audacity-WHERE ARE THEY FINDING IT?!?!?
Being coddled by a patriarchal society for starters
@@lunarsugar totally
@@lunarsugarnigga what
Omg I even said to my sister that I wish I had the confidence of mediocre man 😅😂
How much do you want to bet the same guy is going around online throwing pity parties for himself claiming hes a victim of the divorce, saying hes being screwed over and its unfair and women ruin lives and blah blah blah. Because id day its pretty likely
🙋🏻♀️i also spoke to the "other woman". I was scared too; i was certain he had been lying about me so i figured she would yell all kinds of insults but i was so curious to meet the girl who would date a man that i was slowly realising was abusive. I wanted to give her a chance, just incase she was being abused by him too and didnt realize it. I wanted to explain he left me bc i finally stood my ground and told him no and wondered if he treated her badly if she ever denied sex. We met and she got right to the point with "i knoe this is weird, and i know he cheated on you with me and you have no reason to speak to me. But i need you, as a woman, to listen to me." So i said okay and told her to talk. She explained she had no idea he was in relationship until after he left me. She explained that after he left me he told her i was a drunk and he had had enough; said she grew up with a drunk, knows what thats like but could clearly see from how i drove up to the resteraunt and in my face that i was not a drunk. [I mentioned then that i also had someone with subtance abuse in my family and for that reason was a bit afaid of alchol] She said about a week after they started living together his attiude changed and asked if i had experienced that, i told her yes. I explained how mean he was when i refused sex and how guilty he would make me feel. Revealed how he never picked up after himself bc "thats the female partners job" and how i thought that bc he was kind and progressive *sometimes* that i thought he was still growing as a person and he would change. Revealed that towards the end of the relationship i began to feel anxiety about coming home and being around him and right before he left "for her" i had feared he would physically harm me. She sat, quietly, listened, and eventually pulled her top off her left shoulder to show me a bandage. "We were in the hammock i have on my balcony, listening to music and enjoying the night air. He was smoking and i didnt mind it. i fell asleep against him but woke up in pain and him cursing. He *dropped* his ciggarett on me as he was falling asleep and cursed himself, fussed over the burn. I assured him it was an accident and went to wash it but the longer i was alone the weirder i felt about it." She then told me she had no reason to doubt him but had a twisting feeling in her stomach that got worse every time she cuddled with him over the next few days and decided to reach out to me without speaking to him. I told her that i though he burned her on purpose and wanted to see your reaction. Maybe wanted to mark you, like that somehow meant he had a claim over you. That was how i felt about it and she started crying and agreed.
This is why i wanted to meet the other woman. I wanted to make sure another woman wasnt being harmed. And im glad i did bc she was being harmed and she reminded me SO much of myself. Physically we look similar, but our pasts with our families and our values are similar too. Were both strong and young but have experienced trauma and struggle to identify it bc we crave kindness we didnt recieve growing up.
We spoke for hours, the resteraunt staff let us stay while they cleaned for closing- our waiter having noticed all the tears 3 hours earlier and asked if we needed any help or if he could get us anything. It was obvious she was distressed and he excused himself for prying but we assured him it was alright. Anyways, the resteraunt staff was very kind and brought us a little slice of cake while they closed lol
I asked if she needed help getting him out and she accepted greatfully. We first called my dad, who came immediatly and stood outside her apartment while we went in and told him to get out and never come back or contact us again. He started shouting and that was all my dad needed to barge in and grab him. By the neck, i might add. I hadnt revealed *everything* to my dad, just said he had hurt us and we felt scared he wouldnt leave if there wasnt a man there to intimidate him. I guess that was enough to really upset my dad, rightfully so, and he didnt need to hear more to know he wanted to punch our ex.
"Other woman" and i are good friends today. Taught me a lot about feminism and supporting one another. If a man ever cheats on me again, i think ill still give the other woman a chance to talk if she reaches out.
The sound that escaped me when Amy got ballsy and was like "um.....like....you leaving soon?" 💀😭 I'm so irrationally proud of this woman I don't know for the way she handled what could only have been a nightmare for her. Thanks for a great episode. New to your content but really enjoy it! 😊
So I'm like 100% straight, HOWEVER, I would marry OP. LIKE THAT WOMAN IS THE PERFECT WIFE. She went about this in such a graceful way, she wasn't super spiteful, she cooks, she cleans, she has her own hobbies, she has a stable and well paying career, I DO NOT CARE THAT SHE SLEPT WITH TWO OTHER PEOPLE, SHE IS A CATCH. (Sleeping with someone/having previous partners does not "lower your value", I will die on that hill)
Lol, I was thinking the same as the story went on 👰♀️ 👰♀️ 😅
Right? I wonder if he was a virgin when they started dating lol. He’s low value for sleeping with another woman while being married.
@@jessicavogt1690was gonna say, with those rules, dude can only sleep with other men otherwise all the women will be low value 😂
@@jessicavogt1690its nothing that logical. Being a virgin only has value for women from their perspective. A man thats virgin is actually worthless, being sexually succesfull is connected to masculinity, while purity is connected to feminity. Thats why she's "low value". A slut is inherently female to them🙄
as someone who is ace, agreed! i'd marry her in a heartbeat!
You are so right about the red pill thing. I grew up in a cult and was trained to be that woman with no personality and just serve. When I left the cult, men in the real world were actually freaked out by it! (Which was very lucky for me)
I wouldn’t surprised if he didn’t tell Amy how the divorce settled. He probably planned to come home one day from “court” and say he lost the house to her in the settlement. Also if they get married he’s definitely going to throw a wrench in her career progression too.
He already did knocking her up
My thoughts exactly (violin playing )“aw shucks, my awful ex managed to get the house because the justice system is biased towards women, as well as most of my money. She is the one running our life after all I did for her!” So on and so forth.
Wonder if knocking up Amy was also his way of trying to eliminate competition with her. She is younger than him doing the same jobs and interviewing for similar positions. Likely didn't bod well with his ego.
He considered the lady dating a married man a high value woman? That’s absurd
This woman sounds like the dream honestly. She is absolutely NOT the a-hole. This man has NOTHING but the audacity to 1. Tell her to return everything she bought and 2. Put all the money SHE saved into their joint account.
Bro I'm like do she like girls cause I might 😭
Not being your partner's biggest hype person is just nutty to me.
Dude wanted to cap the fun money accounts at $2000? With the way she saved, that means she couldn't even have 2 months of her normal savings build up in her fun money account.
He 100% didn't want her to have financial independence and a way out.
That girl dodged a major bullet & I feel bad for the girl he was seeing behind her back cause she’s gonna get it 10 times worse as the new supply 😳
The husband is exhibiting big hater energy. Lol
She did nothing that violated the terms of their financial agreement, sounds like he was already being unfaithful and was just looking for a reason to start beef and cast his wife as the offending party in the relationship.
He called all of that basic adulting????? I see the issue now. He is threatened by how much money she has and the house is technically hers. He wants to force her into a stay at home roll and he has control of all the money smh
where is this financially independent, hobby-having queen and does she need a new friend????
Right she sounds like a cool person !
I want to INTERVIEW HER! I wanna write her memoir!
17:12 - I KNEW IT! I knew something (or someone) made him want his wife to start dressing up more. That kind of request doesn't just come out of the blue!
I had my suspicions as well, but I didn't want to jump the gun
One thing sticks out to me, amy said they met when Joe and her were both trying for the same job. Anyone think he got this girl pregnant so shed have to take leave and he would be considered better option for the position?
That actually entered my mind too, _especially_ since he claimed he had a vasectomy which he knew influenced her decision to not use any birth control.
The more I think about it, the more I believe _he_ baby-trapped _her_ with their “miracle baby.” Yes, she could’ve continued taking/using bc on her own, but as far as she knew, he was this trust-worthy, empathetic hero. She likely thought since there were “zero” chances for pregnancy or STDs, condoms or birth control weren’t necessary.
It is obvious that he’s felt inferior to OP for a very long time; all of his lies about how they met and about their marriage revolve around making OP “less than” him (just a poor dumb addict dropout that he saved and pities because she needs him.)
It’s actually sick that that’s the situation he’d prefer for someone he once claimed to love; he wished she was sad, needy and pathetic instead of a successful, loving, happy woman.
The real life retcon of OP’s and his past and present revolves around her happiness and success being _completely_ dependent on him; he erases any hint of independence from OP. None of this bodes well for Amy’s future. Although I don’t think a person necessarily needs experience in dating to find “married but separated for her sake” questionable, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hand-picked her *specifically* for her naivety and inexperience.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if she has a small or no support system and/or is low or no contact with her family. Disgustingly, that’d make her even more “perfect” to him. She’d *NEED* him like OP did/does in his imagination; unfortunately, whatever future Amy had envisioned with him was _never_ going to happen, and he knew it. If she doesn’t leave him, I think her life will be much worse than she ever could’ve imagined.
Although I can’t imagine how painful and humiliating this situation might’ve been for OP, I see her future just getting even brighter without him. Imho, Amy’s future, on the other hand, has become dark; hopefully she figures that out before it’s too late.
Baby trapping her to steal her job was not something that had occurred to me. It's so damn crazy logically but nor less logical than the high/low value crap he was toting.
I did however get the ick from this 24 year old being in the same program as a 33 year old. Sounds like this dude has a thing for breaking down women that are more high value than he is.
that makes so much sense!
Oh gosh Joe really is a psycho if thats the case. Amy is an idiot. How do you not know the relationship status of your coworker before sleeping with him. Stupid young Amy.
Joe ain’t seeing the gates of heaven holy shit
I was impressed by this woman's emotional intelligence, many people would give in and accept the demands without realizing the manipulation, but she created a strategy, confirmed her suspicions and knows her value
i feel like i’m the beginning he was definitely trying to finically entrap her but when he found out she actually did have finical independence he freaked out
He wanted Amy out of the running for that job position he wanted. 😂
Lmao...OMG I didn't even think about that...😂😂😂..I don't feel sorry for Amy
@@Rogue-bt4wpi do, she seems to be pretty naive and now she is stuck with him.
Ex is in for a shock when the baby comes and his lover isn't a skinny young piece anymore. Stretch marks and a poochy tummy are in his future.
Also, babies require time and attention. They poop, barf, and piss. Say goodbye to her perfect grooming.
I remember reading this as it was happening to OP. I cannot wait for her to update about him begging for her back. His life is to be shit..with the new pregnant girlfriend..and the audacity of the AP to tell OP to give up HER house for the baby...the AP is a complete moron who believed the clear lies of this loser is going to have the worst kind of life if she stays with him.
If she is really smart. She would report him for malipulalation and deceit. Get him fire and jick him out. Nit forgeting, force child support.
I had a sheltered upbringing and was also too naive for my age when young…. But even if you don’t have first hand experience dating, by age 24 you still know not to get pregnant by a coworker who is your superior and is married!! I mean… C’mon girl!
I am a woman who's never had sex and probably never will but I'd leave his ass as soon as he tries to bring that bullshit into our relationship, even if I'm considered a high value woman because I never had sex, and I like to cook/clean, I would never stay with ANYONE who thinks about woman like that
Same except I don’t like to cook/clean beyond getting food and not living in filth.
Staying with someone that thinks just bodycount can make a women worthless is immoral as it “rewards” and enables the redpillers to have an example of their abuse of women not negatively effecting their ability to settle down at all despite encouraging the use of women to get a high body count and not accepting those same women as long term partners.
Tbh, I can blame the 24yo a little bit for not confirming the story at all. Yes, she has no dating experience, and cheating is definitely the cheater (Joe)'s fault above all, but she's also not a child.
I actually was in a relationship where my (now husband) was living with his ex wife due to cost of living and co-parenting. As much as I liked him, I didn’t fully trust his story until I actually met his ex wife and their kid and saw that he was being honest with all of us. He was always extremely open with me about finances and divorce paperwork, etc. So it can happen the right way, but you have to confirm. If they are not EAGER to show you all the proof of their honesty, they are probably lying.
Oh I can definitely blame her bc at the end of the day she slept with somebody else's husband and was not deterred from it when she found out and then got knocked up and decided to keep the baby? I wouldn't care what story he spun me until you are legally separated from her I'm not having no kids with you nor am I dating you without true proof 🤨 ALSO THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING LONG??? Like wtf for someone who's supposed to be a 24 year old prodigy she's pretty f*cking stupid
Also her trying to claim their child is a miracle baby because he supposedly had a vasectomy... Ma'am that's not what a miracle baby is 💀 that's just an accident no matter what way you want to spin it that baby is an accident and let's say he did get one and this still happened that means he should go to the doctor cuz that should not be POSSIBLE after surgery 😭 tf?? And I wonder what lie he plans on spinning as to why they can't get the house cuz she doesn't believe everything OP said anyway and still probably doesn't believe the house is LEGALLY hers
@@xxprettyrwbyxx3857she is probably smart in her field and naive in the streets. If she grew up very sheltered (like I did or worse) I am not surprised at all that she would not verify and just believe him. You just don’t understand if youve never lived it.
Also, vasectomies don't prevent STDs. Not using protection that early and most likely without proof of being STD free is more than being naive.
I read this on Reddit a while back and was so glad she got herself out of that situation. I hope the new woman can get away someday too since that scum probably trapped her
He definitely did cuz he lied saying he got a vasectomy so she wouldn't take birth control cuz after being told that why would she? He's a sick ass weirdo on top of all the other s*** that he lied to her about especially about OP men's created a whole Wattpad story on her😅 I feel like another reason he cheated cuz he was getting this red pill mentality he felt like his time to have children was running out or that he wasn't a real man without having a "typical" household? bc they were first child free but now all of a sudden he's okay with knocking up a random b**** from work? Mmmm not making sense on his end
The separate fun money account was a good idea... her mistake was not having access to monitor his spending. Guarantee she would have realized that he was spending his fun money on his side chick
Yeah but that is less of a mistake and more an extra thing she could have done to find out he is bad sooner. You are supposed to be able to trust your romantic partner to not pull stuff like that and give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. The real fault is the relationship basically being giving ginger(her) to a monkey(the cheating liar).
Well one thing is for sure. Her ex husband is going to get the life he deserves. Just feel bad for the baby being born to this mess. This was an excellent one story ep. 🎉
I would remodel my old marital bedroom into a massive gaming room if I were her 😂
The audacity of that man to shame her for not being a virgin but has a side piece in a monogamous relationship.
This is the perfect example as to why money, looks, effort, etc. It doesn't matter because the issue is the person cheating. I watched my dad try his best for years just for it to never be good enough for my mom and she had been cheating the entire time.
I hope anyone watching this that may be experiencing something similar notices the red flags and does what they need to to get out of a toxic relationship.
Omg, when she started describing the food I teared up a bit. Omg, what a wonderful feast! Omg, I would be OVER THE MOON!
My jaw CONTINUED to drop listening to this story, this is SO UNREAL?! I hate this is somebody's real freaking life
Also the commenter may have been on to something. The fact that most of her free time was around recouping her mental health could have been partially due to the marriage.
The fact that the husband dated down is so crazy to me lol. Like cheating is wrong but at least make it somewhat beneficial to you. He’s an idiotic, compulsive liar
Oh that was on purpose. Amy is probably a “high value woman” - he was her first and got knocked up by him, she probably makes less than him, and is probably gonna try to make her be a “traditional woman” by making her stay home, quit her job so she loses her employment skills and makes her do all the house work and child rearing, to hold power over her, to make up for the fact that his ex did better than him and his ego was hurt.
No way he was her first. He just feels superior to her, which is what matters most to him
Stupidity inevitably causes to self-destruct. It’s a beautiful thing in its own way
Putting a limit on how much money your partner is allowed to accumulate sounds scary abusive. Noone should limit your financial freedom, noone should feel entitled to what you have acquired.
Omg I was right. He didn't want her to have enough money to be on her own. 🤮
I honestly did like the one story, definitely something to throw in once in a while. I had a really bad day today, yalls commentary reminds me of my friends and it’s truly comforting, thank you ❤
Hope today was better!
I'm honestly astonished! How do you cheat on a woman of that caliber?! This man had a diamond mine, and he went out looking for some rhinestones! This man traded a Lexus for a Kia! This man traded a Toyota for a Ford! This man traded a PS5 for an Xbox series X!
That Ford shade 🤣
self-inflated delusion and a lack of appreciation and gratitude, and probably narcissism in there too hahah oh yes and audacity
This dude legit f'd up his life. He is not going to be able to afford the lifestyle he wants with a kid. And he clearly lacks the maturity (both emotional and financial) to raise one. I feel so sorry for OP, Amy (even though she should have known better, being in experience with dating is one thing, but dude legit told you he was married) and the kid.There is most likely going to be an update in the future and op may even have to ask for a restraining order after this fool realized what he loss.
Amy's intent was to pay her to get out of the house, if you read the comment responses, she offered her 17k to move out by a certain month! LOL
Whhaaaaatt??!!! This story never stops smh 😄
Yep. Amy believes the house is her future husbands and not OPs. Future husband lied about that too@@comfortlevelpodcast
@@comfortlevelpodcastyea and she would not believe OP when she told her that she inherited the house. I wanted to slap some sense into Any..what a complete tool that girl is.
26:20 is so funny cause i remember seeing a tiktok of a girl crying to her boyfriend cause she missed out on who he was as a person before they met and this guy took it to another level where he's punishing her for the person she was before they met. like sorry she has a past dude lol
As a simmer myself I love that Maddie is one also!! Mods are crazy and some of my sim stories could def be on an AITA reddit lol
I literally was just thinking about firing up the game again 😂😂 I play in cycles. Everyday for three months then I don’t touch it for a year 😂😂
@@darkwriter_xx94 same!!
That conversation between Amy and OP needed to happen when that working relationship changed to personal. Amy needed to question everything back then.
I did the same with my partner, before we ever got involved, because he too was in another relationship. Waiting that long is too little, too late.
If I may ask, did you discover that your partner wasn’t being honest?
@@DoritoBot9000 No. He never lied about it.
They put $1500ea in their separate accounts every month. She only uses about $500 of it every month, leaving $1,000 in her account at the end of each month. That's $12,000 per YEAR. and over the course of 10 years, that equates to about $120,000 total! Minus the $5,000 spent on her gaming set up that leaves her with about $115,000 left over. So YES the has more than enough money to pay for EVERYTHING‼️😭
Omg! That last update would of made me bust out laughing if I was her. How low does that man have to be to make up such terrible lies about his WIFE to get a younger girl to sleep with him. Like his personality and looks must be terrible or something.
12:40 as a parent with a similar financial set up, anything for the kids comes out of the joint account UNLESS it’s something way outside the monthly budget allotted. If I want to buy my daughter some special dress that’s kind of pricey, I’ll usually just use my fun money unless there’s a large surplus in the joint account.
Bro is crazy. I'm so happy she was wise enough to get away from him. Lying to another woman like that is disgusting.
My husband and I have a similar situation with each having a "fun money" account, and he currently has a more expensive hobby and my fun money account is getting fat and he's a little envious, but he would never question me about what I spend it on, because that is our deal, it is judgement free money. This has been such a benefit to our relationship because for years he didn't have any hobbies and I did. These accounts were set up initially for my benefit, but it allowed him to start up a hobby without feeling like he was taking money from the family.
I'm so happy for OP for being able to leave that horrible, manipulative man, but I'm so SO sad for Amy, who got entrapted with a baby at such a young age by a lying, horrible man. Maybe Amy also made a post somewhere?? can you imagine??
She slept with her married supervisor, if she gets an awful man it's her choice.
well, that's, like, your opinion, man....@@margodphd
I hope there is an update about how the guy's life goes downhill because now he and his girlfriend are going to have to find either a bigger apartment or buy a house. And if he marries her then if she has any debt that carries over into the marriage. Not to mention all the expenses that come with having a baby! Guy is going to go into the red due to all these new expenses because the 75% isn't going to last forever and since he doesn't have good money management he is going to squander it quickly instead of putting it towards this new family.
While the 24 y.o. mistress is an idiot, I can't fault her because a good number of people are dumb and delusional at that age in the romance department. I'm speaking from experience. I do hope she sorts out all the lies he's telling her because it will be only a matter of time he is looking to trade her in as well, and unfortunately she is tied to him to life due to having a child with him. I really want to know how he explains to his girlfriend why he didn't get the house in the divorce and why he'll be asking her to look into houses/apartments for them to move into. Because he definitely wouldn't put in the effort to do that.
Regarding the house, he will likely make up a sob story about how the justice system “took his house” because of bias towards women and how the OP is “out to get them” and sued for all his (fantasy) money because she evil…etc. There a ton of stories he can make up to gaslight the mistress for a few years, sadly.
He wanted to divorce her so he wanted all of her fun money in the joint so he could cash out in the divorce. He's basically trying to beat her down to rob her with everything she has.
a deep dive into one story- love this!
50:39 beepbeepboop!! I’m here as your reminder (as requested) lol as of 10/14/2024-Clicked “most popular” and watched this! It’s been a yearrrrrr wassup with the update?!
I’m invested in this. How’s OP? How’s Amy and baby? 😅
SO glad I watched this because I just realized that my ex convinced me that I was bad at relationships! He would always make things my fault and never take responsibility., even when he blew up at me. It took me a while to realize he'd gotten redpilled and then, after walking away, I did a bunch of work to rebuild myself but it never dawned on me just how deeply he had affected me.
Wow, this is some insidious shit, and completely unacceptable to be such a bad influence in someone else's life. Who the fuck do these people think they are?! Get help, go live in a desert, why be such a toxic influence?!
This is the craziest AITA ever! Literally a movieeee! I hope OP stays safe and enjoy her FUN money. ❤
I wish I knew what was going to happen when Amy gets back to Joe about this tête-à-tête with his wife!!
Just more lies to keep gaslighting Amy, who will want believe him because she is about to have a kid with him.
16:14 - I was gonna say maybe they could try counseling, because it sounds like a deeper problem than just the money. But after THAT comment, it's clear he doesn't like her. Time for divorce.
The advice, from experience, is that if they are living with their ex RUN AWAY. Idgaf if they're not married, if they're living together the answer is no. There is a reason and you don't want to be in that situation.
Also, if they're constantly talking absolute shit about their ex? Just move along. It's not worth it.
I would like to start by saying that I'm so happy you randomly popped up in my suggestions. This is my first video, and I am definitely going to subscribe!
Now about the story, this is wild from beginning to end, and it's crazy that he manipulated both ladies so maniacally. Even down to him baby-trapping the new girl so that she'd be less likely to leave. I also wonder if he was secretly hoping that OP's birth control would fail at some point and he'd get her pregnant. Like maybe he's the kind of person who gets off on taking a woman in a high-powered position and making her financially dependent on him.
I only just stumbled over this channel and I'm very positively surprised! You're dealing with issues I care about but it feels wholesome to listen. That's really special!
17:22 And there it is. I had my suspicions, but I didn't want to go there just yet. People don't usually start talking that kind of shit unless they think they found something better than what they have. And now this man has become the biggest hypocrite. You accuse your wife of financial infidelity, meanwhile you're committing actual infidelity, and dumping all up on her like she ain't shit, when the fact that a matter is, you ain't shit! Baby girl, please leave his ass! If you haven't already
Please, PLEASE do another video in case there are updates. I'm so invested in this.
my dad has run every LA marathon since 1982. he was an alcoholic so replaced one addition to a better one lol. he runs every other day anywhere from 13-28 miles. since he goes running around 5 am he’s done around 7-8 am.
Wow, I can't believe someone would abuse their spouse only to get some extra money. It's so absolutely insane!!
I just want to say that I SINCERELY appreciate that EVERYONE reading this just immediately went “Aw hell nah.” The second that the first red flag started fluttering in from the edge of the camera. Like, they didn’t even get to the edits or responses, they all unanimously agreed NTA, from the get go.
i feel like joe was just gonna be like “uhhh that b! she took everything from me in the divorce 😢I’m sorry baby” and then Amy wouldn’t have known anything
That’s exactly what he did
It was worth it to sit here the whole time. Personally; I hate “parted” stories as a preference. I know some folks don’t have that kinda time though so I don’t bring it up unless it’s mentioned.
In fact, for your analytics; I picked your vid from an AITAH search so I could set a timer for tasks. I need my brain to be absorbed for sensory hell-tasks so a good story is the cure for me. (Nd) hence not having to stop an ick task to wash my hands and find part two being extremely accessible for me to just binge tf outta your content and Boop the buttons in kind. Thx for the post! I’m tired listening so I know these are a good amount of work to make and produce.
I came across a clip of your podcast on TikTok. I became so curious I had to check it out. This was awesome. Love it !!
Liked before I even started listening. I've been kind of obsessed over your podcast the last month. Also, Maddie you are looking so cute! Guys, you too (I don't want you to feel left out lol) Thanks for another great episode!
Throughout this entire story I just kept repeating "wtf is wrong with this man, OP is a fucking GODDESS"
My second relationship i was in, back in my 20s, i was his first, he was 23, we were together for a decade. Half way through he was diagnosed with cancer. I had left him a few months before he was diagnosed. I offered to get back together, he said my money woukd help since he would be on partial disability. We were back and forth the last 5 years. He was deemed in full remission at that point. A month later he walks in and says he knew how he "caught" cancer. It was because i had one previous partner before him and that he always considered me diseased because of that. That was the end of me ever respecting him and finally left for good few months later when the abuse ramped up and i had to call the police. He use to always go on rants he wished it was cold war times so he could better control me and such. He was redpill before that stuff existed on UA-cam. Its a mindset that terrifying.
Wow
Joe needs to bottle and sell that audacity!
L’Audacite: Smells like douchebag
She burned his car and sold the rest for $1 a piece. Waiting to Exhale is GOLD.
His definitely is going to lie, he probably say he lose the house during the divorce
Maddie talking about The Sims and mods was the cherry on top of this episode 😂
So, not going to lie.. i found this channel because my favorite daily UA-cam video is from Charlotte Dobre. Someone left a really nasty comment putting her down the day before yesterday. Really sad because she's awesome and i look forward to her post everyday, just wish they were longer. Well, she hasn't posted since. She usually posts daily. Really sad about it, but i decided to look around and try to find something else since there's no new vids. And i LOVE you guys. This vid really filled a bit of a void for me today!! You got my sub, and I'll be looking out for you guys now, just as i do for her!! Thank you! I was so bummed she'd let that sicco get to her! New fan of yours here
Hi guys. Love your podcast!
I used to be in cross country and it really depends on how fast she runs her miles and if she has inclines throughout her runs. Running 7-8 miles could take 1-2 hours a day possibly 2.5. It all really depends.
I love Brandon's reactions. The story was so obnoxious that Sam even stopped making jokes.
SHE MAKES 200k and the inherited house is hers, runs , has hobbies, can cook LIKE MARTHA STEWART but low value???? ya know the redpill shit is so sad and horrific; to see people easily suckered out of their beautiful lives from the “mentoring” of people who they truly know nothing aboUT MAKES my brain leak out of my ears
Somewhat similar situation. We had a joint account until the bank tattled on him for paying for cam girls with a "suspicious charger" message. Suddenly he transferred all the (we both worked) into a different account and closed the account (bank didn't tell me because both our names are on thr account). He'd get mad if I ever bought anything for myself of went over his BS budget.
Another part to remember about financial abuse is that it isn't always about what's being spent, but also sabotaging income. He dropped out of college. I have a science degree and when I do have a job he would call the job to constantly "check up" on me which doesn't look good job wise.