There actually was an update to the first story and it was confirmed that OP's friend was in fact the other woman before she and her husband got married.
I’m at the conversation after the first reply back from Izzy to Marcus (fuck it they used their own names eventually 😂) and I just realized there’s 12 more minutes to the video
I had a situation as messy as this one and you're so right, you wouldn't wanna be caught in it as much as you desperately wanna hear all about it 😭😭 like I can relate to the whole mess but was also equally shocked and pumped to hear the whole thing, Angela was such a mood HAHAH (on a positive note, I've been working on healing those toxic parts of me and I'm still getting there 😉👍🏼 wish me luck)
Medical professional here, Shane is right, red wine does not decrease cancer or heart disease, the level of antioxidants like reservatrol are in such low amounts you would need to drink large quantities to get an effective dose at which point the ethanol and sugars would be increasing your cancer and heart disease risks several times more.
IIRC this specific myth comes from the correlation fallacy (aka: "people who play polo tend to be healthier and live longer" => not because polo has health magical benefits, but because it is a sport that tends to be played by people who are overall wealthier and those people have a better access to healthcare).
I could hear Shane going nuts in his laugh- especially knowing his college background being psych- being mad the human brain is so vulnerable to misinformation IS A COMMON FRUSTRATION.
"But you'd be such a good mom!" Stop. Personally, I know I wouldn't be a good mom because I Don't Want To Be One. Period. Don't force a child to live in a world where their own mother doesn't want them. It happens far too often, and it's heartbreaking. Kids deserve better, and it's not selfish to admit that. I'm glad OP knows how to set boundaries!!
absolutely, this is exactly my feelings on it. i spent a good chunk of my childhood raising my siblings, which my family thinks was just practice for “real motherhood”. i love my siblings more than anything but they are the only children i will ever raise, family expectations be damned.
@lokiawriter8077 Completely understandable. They wanted you to learn a lesson from it, and you did, just not the one they expected. You have to do what's best for you.
I’ll never understand people wanting to force women to have kids.. like okay so you want this kid to either be unloved by their mother who doesn’t want them or be put in the system? Why would you want both a woman and child to suffer like that? Do they not realize how awful that is??
I reminds me of how when you as a woman do something competent or impressive and someone goes "Isn't she such good wife material?" and kinda instantly reducing you to some hypothetical guy
Amanda talking about motherhood, bodily autonomy, parenthood and womanhood like that is healing. Literally right to the heart. In particular the part about not putting all the stress and trauma into your kid and weaponizing them in adult conversations. Mexican, salsa, yes!
Amanda kinda sounded like she was talking from experience (wanting kids but not being able to have them) and whether or not she was, her ferocity is really powerful
Re: husband not standing up for his wife to his mom; another point ppl often overlook is that, with only the man working, if he dies or loses his job, what then? Your wife/partner has NO marketable skills, no employment history.
This! On a semi-related story, my great uncle was retired and had a lot of savings when he passed away, so finding work wasn't an issue for my aunt, but suddenly having to learn how to deal with finances on top of her grief was. I don't think she'd ever actually accessed their accounts before then, and her name wasn't on any of the bills/accounts etc. It was watching her struggle with this that actually made my own mother (SAHM for most of my childhood, now working) decide that she wanted to learn how to do that stuff.
Oh yeah I've seen multiple videos of former housewives/SAHMs talking about exactly this problem. The relationship ended one way or another and they found themselves unable to support themselves because they had no income or savings of their own and it was hard to get a job without marketable skills or work experience, so they were in really major trouble. They urged women to never put themselves in that situation and to always have something to fall back on if the worst were to happen (could be anything from partner dying to getting cheated on or abused and having to leave)
I love how often Amanda says "I'm boiling over" or "This makes me so angry", but yet is somehow the calmest, most composed person while making solid points.
That feels like a good example of emotional maturity, being able to effectively communicate how you're feeling and not exploding because of those emotions
Well it is not like she is serious about this, just like Amanda says "i love this", "i laughed loud" , "this is the worst". It is just used to exaggerate and make her speech more alive even if she does not put so much into it. It is quite common you probably saw it too.
the story about the man demeaning his wife and her calling him broke in front of the kids. He demeaned her in front of the kids, she *had* to defend herself in front of the kids or risk teaching them it's okay to treat women like that or it's okay to be treated like that.
exactly. she said her mom taught her to not depend and to gain financial freedom. this is sadly one situation where SHE teaches her own children that principle too.
As a woman who wanted kids but can't have it due to having a hysterectomy from ovarian cancer, thank you so much for speaking out about the pressure that is put on women to have children. I've literally heard people say you're less of a woman for not having kids and it's hard not to internalize it. For the most part I've come to terms with living child free but it hurts a lot from time to time.
feeling this too to an extent. I don’t want kids, but I do have PCOS. I stopped having periods when I was 14 and the doctors did nothing about it until my lining was so thick they said they needed to give me emergency surgery because I was at risk of developing ovarian cancer. Now I’m taking birth control, which has made me gain a ton of weight that my PCOS will prevent me from losing, and on top of that I have periods now. I haven’t in my life had the chance to get used to periods. I never got desensitized to the pain or the depression/mood swings. Now as an adult, it feels like I’m going through puberty again and it’s agonizing. I want a hysterectomy. I don’t want kids, and I want a hysterectomy, but it’s so incredibly difficult to get one because doctors simply won’t let you if they don’t think your reason is valuable enough. I knew someone with PCOS who got a hysterectomy to avoid life-threatening health issues as a child, only to find out her womb was still in tact years later. Who knows what the doctors ACTUALLY did during the surgery. Women are forever held to this idea that they were created to make children and if they don’t (whether they choose that or not), they are not a real woman. Sickening.
People are shitty! Sad you are made to feel that way. Hope you find peace in it. Know there is nothing wrong with not having children be it by choice or not. It's not all in your hands 🤍
The woman didn’t demean her husband’s income, she made a valid point. If he wants a traditional housewife, $35,000 a year is not going to cut the expenses of 1 person let alone 2-3+ others
35k a year is roughly the salary of some teachers in some states and even then they usually need a second job to cover more personal needs. It’s hell living in today’s world making less than 200k with a full family and parents if they need financial help.
@@Kriplingpowr stating a fact someone doesn't like isn't the same as demeaning them. 35,000 annual is simply not enough for him to attempt to hold these beliefs, ESPECIALLY because his WIFE who he was being sexist to is the breadwinner.
@@Kriplingpowr a salary that wouldn’t support her or their kids because he agreed with mommy that she should be a SAHM. If he didn’t she wouldn’t have brought it up
Well the issue is that regardless of his income, a man that won't stick up for his wife is worthless. He could be making 350,000 a year and the way he's treating her because he can't stand up to his mommy makes him worthless.
Looked on Reddit and found the update to the first story. OP did infact confront her best friend and pretty much confirmed that her best friend was a mistress to her best friend's now husband. Her ex husband moved out, her update didn't say anything about his mistress.
Angela: My acting coach said all life is about sex and all sex is about power Amanda: I don’t think all sex is about power Angela: Well, I don’t think all life is about sex Shayne: And I don’t think you should be taking sex advice from your acting coach BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
You would think Mr Shayne "I'll just drop a Dorian Grey reference into this random reddit story" Topp would have recognized an Oscar Wilde quote when he hears it.
Honestly, at this point, if your boyfriend takes his mom’s side over you even once, go ahead and walk away. Reddit is so overrun with stories of women tied to these little baby men who think mommy is still in charge.
As a woman who is childfree by choice, you guys ATE with your commentary on the third story. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told “you’ll change your mind someday”. Well, I’m pushing 30, my husband and I are both completely content in our life with each other, and we feel zero obligation to change our minds.
People who use that phrase are almost ALWAYS wrong, and are just flaunting their age advantage to diminish whatever argument you have in favor of their “wisdom”. To that I say, wisdom requires time, time does not require wisdom.
Ugh for real. I'm 33 and doctors keep saying "let's wait, maybe you'll change your mind" when I say I want to get my tubes tied instead of reducing my bone density more every 3 months (depo shot).
Plus I babysat my 8 year old niece the other day, who terrorized my cats for 5 hours and threw a tantrum when she couldn't colour on my walls, and I can say for sure, NO THANK YOU.
People who don't want kids will most likely not change their mind and not regret it. You can't regret something you have never experienced. That being said almost every single parent I know say their greatest joy in life was having and raising kids.
At around the 32 minute mark, Amanda spoke about how not every woman can have a baby, and that society needs to stop making that a woman thing, and I just had to say thank you for saying that. I’m a woman that wants a family with children more than anything in the world, but 4 years ago, I lost the ability to have kids via a total hysterectomy that saved my life. I’ve tried dating since then, but any time the topic of kids comes up, I disclose the fact that I can’t have kids even though I want them. Without fail, every single guy I’ve told this to treats me differently; like I’m less than a woman because I can’t get pregnant.
I was always unsure if I wanted children, then the choice was no longer in my control due to an accident, and now I can’t have them, and I’m definitely treated definitely differently being no longer able to have children vs someone who didn’t know/potentially didn’t want children. When it’s a choice, you’re treated like a monster. When it’s not, I’m treated with pity, and it’s assumed I wanted them, and I’m a sad lady for not being able to have them.
I'm an aroace who has had too many people insist I need to find a man and get pregnant, and it's so annoying when people continues to try to pressure others into these things. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and all the questions you and other people who want children but are unable to for various reasons have to deal with. It doesn't make you less of a woman, we are all more than our ability to procreate.
@@candysays100It also makes it difficult when women are encouraged to have many children but actually doesn't get the help like maternity leave, sick leave and help to feed their kids and put them through school, and then get called bad mothers. Women never seem to win no matter what we do. 🤷♀️
Im sorry things are being pushed on you. I know how that feels. I hope you either come to peace with not having children or come up with an alternative method that works for you. Whatever you choose, good luck! 💕
It is an instinctual response. The same way women are instinctually repulsed by men who can’t provide and/or protect. No matter what media taught you about men, we want children too. It isn’t your fault that you can’t have children, and you should continue to disclose your infertility as soon as it is appropriate to do so. You will find a man that is willing to work around that with you should you remain persistent and consistent. Perhaps you could find a sterile man that wants to adopt a few children and raise them with you. Stranger things have happened.
Ya it’s very likely that she wasn’t used to rejection when it came to dating. I can understand having a moment of shock and thinking how is this possible and needing to process the situation. It wasn’t really a full rejection in the same way that rejections usually are.
the funny thing about the “you’ll change your mind thing” is that it actively makes people want kids less. i grew up not wanting kids and being told “i’d change my mind,” but eventually people stopped, i got older, saw my cousins with their kids, and i realized i’m not as opposed to kids as before. but it was ultimately the fact that at this point, i no longer felt pressured that changed my mentality.
EXACTLY. like yea maybe id change my mind in the future, but the fact that people are so confident and so sure that I WILL is the most irritating part. They always make it seem like that not wanting kids is not option. I dont want kids, MAYBE ill change my mind in the future, but you cannot dictate what i should and shouldnt think for myself.
@@DoctorCVCyep! i said i wanted to adopt rather than have biological children, and everyone told me i would change my mind because the 'instinct' (🤮) would kick in when i reached a certain age. i'm now well past that age and i have changed my mind, but about having children at all
Yeah same like only now that I'm 30 and haven't been inundated with "once u have kids, once u get pregnant" etc for years like I did as a TEENAGER I shockingly have warmed up to the idea of one day having kids
I have to say Angela and Amanda might be one of my favorite duos for these reaction stories. Their loud, big, hilarious personalities make these stories so much more engaging
Seemed more like a "girl code" kinda thing than taking the other girls side. Almost like she just didn't want the girl being lied to and taken advantage of
@@eclairdawnlight8470That's how I understood it too. I don't see how it's being viewed as caring about the mistress over the "wife" (because not legally married based on the story). It's very much possible to care about more than one thing at a time.
"We're all hot" is exactly right, everybody is somebody's type. Even if you're not their usual type physically, you can become physically attractive to someone just by being their type of person. Someone can look like nothing of note to me at first, and then as I get to know them, they become the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Attraction is complex.
Mhmm. And remember, if only 1% of people find you attractive, that's still over 70,000,000 people. Being conventionally attractive will only get you so far if your personality is shit.
yes! for me even if somebody is physically my type to a T, but if they’re a bad person, they become ugly to me. same with the opposite, even if I wouldn’t typically find you attractive, if you’re a good person i’ll like your looks a lot more. i’ve always said all my friends are attractive, i’m not attracted to all my friends
yes! for me even if somebody is physically my type to a T, but if they’re a bad person, they become ugly to me. same with the opposite, even if I wouldn’t typically find you attractive, if you’re a good person i’ll like your looks a lot more. i’ve always said all my friends are attractive, i’m not attracted to all my friends
Yeah one time I started playing smash bros with a group of kids in my school, and one of them had the same sense of humor as me. I wasn't physically attracted to him at the time but the chemistry was there so I asked him out. After going out for a while it was like he was the most attractive person ever, physically. I found it so fascinating that emotional attraction was able to *create* physical attraction for me
something about Angela talking about the complexities of being single best friends until the other gets into a relationship was so healing and I need more of it. it’s such a tricky situation to be in.
Doesn’t that relationship after it’s done kind of feel like it was weirdly romantic? Like during the friendship you were just friends and that’s it. But once that mess is involved and the dust settles it’s like hmm. That was like a real breakup with real feelings and missed expectations. Very interesting in my opinion.
that truly healed a part of me because i felt like i was going crazy for a really long time before i opened up more to my friends about the situation i was in. i was so alone while going through it and had to act like nothing was happening because i was made to feel like i was in the wrong. it was honestly the worst pain i’ve ever felt and i’ve been through a lot so i thought i could handle anything at that point and i was very incorrect lmao i wish more people would talk about that stuff because it is so heartbreaking and sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone is extremely comforting. also it definitely doesn’t always happen, i actually love when my friends are in love because they’re happy. but the difference is that a real friend won’t just toss you aside and forget about you and constantly hurt you just because they have a partner. and if that does happen, it’s so incredibly devastating
I do not know if this is a "guys vs girls" cultural thingamajig, but I don't see such drama among "the boys" if you will compared to women. Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy made thanks to Hollywood and the early fim/tv industry which amplified girl drama a lot more than boy drama, and often reduced boy drama to fisticuffs and added layers to girl drama.
@@mihirx27I don’t know, you definitely do get a lot of tension around certain guy friends when they feel a woman’s taking away their gaming buddy or he doesn’t revolve his life around going out drinking with them anymore. There was that Reddit story about the friend group threatening to tell their friend about his fiancé’s surprise birthday vacation because they planned a night out on his bd without telling her and we’re butthurt he was spending more time with her. (He still hung out with them a lot so he wasn’t MIA). That’s one of the male versions of
@@mihirx27 I don’t even think it’s really that deep. It’s been heavily documented that women form very close emotional relationships friendship or romantic throughout history. I truly don’t think it’s a Hollywood issue. It’s more female nature than that in my opinion. Unfortunately men have been taught to deal with their disagreements with violence.
The grieving dad story, until it got to the age of the child, I thought that was me. Same ages, same setup and I found out in the same way but she was five. I told him no way with kids but the first night I stayed over she climbed into bed with us in the morning. I was shocked. I did end up being with him for about a year, but they’re so right - if he can lie about a KID, what else can he lie about? When we broke up, everyone told me how heartbroken she was that I wasn’t around anymore and we should get back together “for her.” I’m not a kid person and don’t plan on being a mom, but she wormed her way into my heart and it still hurts years later. That friend who set that up is the biggest asshole in that story.
What irked the most besides the lying from OP's soon to be ex, and especially the mom and friend is this whole notion of following tradition and being ostracized for not following the norm. Factually, females can conceive children, but guess what people? Not every woman wants to have kids. Some may have a medical condition that prevents them from having children or its their beliefs but that's their own choice in the end. Why does it bother others so much when one person doesn't follow the norm?
That’s so messed up. It’s like people see relationships as nothing else but a bubble of protection for the kids involved, regardless of anyone’s intentions or feelings. Crazy.
@@gpeddinoI’ve been with other parents since then and they always take it offensively when I say “I’m not meeting *child* for at LEAST six months. I’m protecting your kid!!
@currentlykmss Yeah, wth? Being in a relationship where one of you has a child, especially if they are younger, can mess everyone up if there's a breakup. My partner has 2 kids and we met when they were early teens. We've been together now for 12 yrs and just thinking abt not being together with my(now) family is painful enough. And the girls are adults now. Can't imagine spending 12 yrs with someone who's kids would still be ^kids^ then leaving.
@@currentlykmsswow, you are amazing, I wouldn't be pissed, I'd be the one thanking you saying actually, I wanted to postpone it myself for the same reason
a saying ive kept with me.since i heard it on tiktok who knows how long ago "id rather regret not having kids, then regret having them". im childfree because i could not live with myself if i had kids and grew to resent them.
As a mum who absolutely believes my children are the best thing I have done and my relationships with them bring me great joy, I 100000% sign off on this. Have children because you want to and have a partner who you would want your children to be like, no other reason.
I dont't think I see this comment too often but Angela is crazy underrated for her emotional intelligence. She has her 11/9/11 moments from time to time but also has the insightful emotionally intelligent takes that take a lot of these nore serious shows forward, it makes her very human, love her. Yay Angela!!!
So true. Angela's episodes on Reddit Stories are often some of my favourites, not just because of her fantastic big reactions, but she often just distils what needs to be said into one or two sentences. I wish I could be so eloquent talking about these sorts of things!
To be fair to the lady in the first story, When I found out that my then wife had cheated on me and left me for them my love for them died on the spot, I felt it happen and I can understand her being like "no fucks left to give"
I was the same way when I found out a long term partner cheated on me. As soon as the trust was broken in that way, I felt nothing for them & we broke up.
you can ignore this if its too personal, but did you ever go through the "expected" grieving process later? or was it just speedrun to acceptance and that was it
Yeah I’ve gone through similar things with former boyfriends. Some things just makes me turn off feelings, that just never turn on again. Is it my ADHD is it my childhood trauma. I dont know. I just know I dont let people treat me wrong.
@@anemonemilyyy i've never personally gone through this but i could understand this reaction completely. it's like... for example, learning your partner was a pdf file, or a murderer, or something, and it just breaks everything so completely and utterly that one goes from love to indifference instantly. edit: i just remembered now that i personally experienced this. we were sitting in a cinema watching a movie and there was a scene that was just very heartwarming so i teared up a little bit, and my partner at that time kept bugging me throughout the rest of the movie and even afterwards as to why i teared up. i dunno why but it just broke something in me and i suddenly went from completely loving them to complete indifference. it was being hit with the realization of "oh... you never actually understood me as a person all this time", and all my feelings for them instantly evaporated. i broke up with them that night, felt a little bit bad just because it was an emotionally loaded situation, and was completely fine the next day. didn't even go through grief. it was literally like a light switch was just turned off. it only happened once. every other time i broke up with someone, it was a devastating experience.
For me, I learned early on to separate my grief for the loss of the person I thought I was with from the actual person that they revealed themselves to be. Yeah, I was sad that the relationship I thought I had was pulled out from under me and my expectations were destroyed, but the actual person standing in front of me suddenly felt like a stranger. That made it easier to flip the switch fairly instantly to "I don't feel anything for you" because the "you" in question is not the "you" I thought I was with. But, no, it wasn't a speedrun to acceptance because I was still devastated by the loss of what I thought I'd had. I just detached that from the person and realized that the person I was grieving never actually existed in the first place. They were a mask the actual, physical person was wearing to trick me into something that was all about them. In a way, it's like realizing that what they were doing was a variation of catfishing.
The third story is infuriating. If you feel bad for him bring him home cooked meals or babysit once in a while, don't pressure a woman into replacing his dead wife. No one should get into a relationship out of charity
This! Like they said, I'm more mad at the people around him than the dad! He's in very fresh grief trying to process how his whole life has changed. The impulse to just fill that gap is very reasonable. It's the people around him encouraging that emotion instead of trying to help him work through it that are messing up majorly. They are looking for a quick fix. That doesn't exist. This is just making things worse in the long run.
The gender essentialism of “I’ll replace my wife with another baby-maker because I see cis women as walking wombs” is so red a flag it’s burning my eyes
@@Xanderj89 It really is. It's more understandable for the dad since he's not only processing a loss with it's connecting grief. But also adjusting to a totally changed future. Having a moment of "I just need to find another and that will fix it" is a totally normal step to go through. The difference is that the people around him should have shown him how twisted that is, not encourage that line of thought!!
As a dad in a much more standard situation… that story felt like a bad fanfic, written by someone who has no experience with having kids whatsoever and just wanted to write an outrage piece. Like, the reactions feel like straight from a horror movie (e.g. get out) because they are so absurdly the worst possible reactions. The coworker who set it up? The sympathetic mom? The guy himself? Are you kidding me? Also, they only almost got into the key question: how do those logistics work? The single father of a
"I never had a group of bros that I hung out with" Honestly, that explains a lot. No wonder Shayne is so empathetic towards women. Cuz he had a lot of female friends growing up.
I think it may be the reverse, he had female friends because he's empathetic towards women. Either way though this is exactly why having or not having female friends is something I always consider a green or red flag for men, I instinctively trust them less if they aren't (purely platonic) friends with any women, and I feel significantly more at ease with them if they are.
@AaraliRam she could've gotten away with crazy best friend until I heard "she has everything she needs already with me" and I was like this is a yuri plot
55:47 I just looked up the post, some info not mentioned includes • Izzy wanted the sleepover to be at Em and Marcus's apartment. • She pleads with Em to force Marcus to sleep on the couch to avoid disrupting their "girls night." • Marcus insists Em can make her own decisions, trusting her to set boundaries. • Marcus, despite not forcing Em to un-invite her from the wedding, feels a strong desire to do so. • Izzy claims she bought a gift (expensive purse) instead of Marcus due to his financial struggles.
There was an update to the first story, here it is I did it. I had a showdown with my former best friend via text and I confronted her about her nonexistent support when I went to her with my woes. I told her that she concentrated on the wrong issue. She should have been my shoulder to cry in. She should have shown up with wine, ice cream and a shovel but instead, she called me a bigger douche than my husband. She tried to gaslight me and I realized that she’s always been a good gaslighter so I interrupted her before she made me out to be the villain. I asked her bluntly, was (her husband’s name) married when you started sleeping together? You told us that he was married before, we all knew that but we all were under the impression that he was married and divorced before you two met but was he still married? Is that why you related to the mistress and felt sympathy for her? Because you were her? She didn’t answer me until next day to call me a bitter and jealous bitch. Wow! This was the last one on one interaction with her I have decided. She’s been my friend since preschool but now we need to go our separate ways not only to save us from future hurt but also to save our memories together from hurt. I talked to my husband too and asked him not to make the separation difficult and bitter that it ruins all the happiness we felt being together because we cannot think back on 1/3 of our lives with resentment. I asked him to take my dad’s offer (he offered to help him find a lease on an apartment and pay 1/2 years rent if he moved out without giving me problems. When I got home, he and his clothes were gone. He left an apology letter saying that he will always love me and never meant to hurt me. So I have finally been able to cry my eyes out and it felt so good. I have been crying since I got home. I lost two of my closest people but this is what happens when we hit hardships, we see people’s true faces. This is my update. I don’t know if anything major will happen to make more updates. It is time for me to move on.
My cousin died because of the “all women should have kids” bs. She had very complicated health problems took her 5 years to recover, found love when she was in her early 30s everyone was so happy for her, she was pushed all her life to get married so they did very quickly, our family kept pushing her to get pregnant quickly because she is already old enough, but doctors told her if she stopped her medications she might be in a very dangerous situation, she got pregnant and had to stop medications, and died couple months later, I went to her funeral feeling disgusted from every single person there, everyone in family was talking about how it’s sad she didn’t get married yet and no one wants her because of her health issues, how she should have lied to her boyfriends and kept it to herself to keep them, how it’s sad she might die before getting married and have kids, they were saying all this bs in front of her. Telling us to have kids because it’s how it should be is the most disgusting thing ever, my mom my aunt and sister all had health complications and tumors after giving birth , and still are pressuring me to have kids too 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ Story 3 made my blood boil 🙂
I’m so sorry about your cousin, I hope you stay strong in your convictions to not have a kid. Your life is at risk. Listen to your doctor and most importantly listen to your body.
@@chaoticsad5549 thank you! I do love kids I helped raise 2 but I just don’t want to have them for the health risks, still can’t even say that out loud. It’s sad we’re not even allowed to fear for our lives that it’s selfish to want to avoid health problems, it’s even more sad when it’s said by loved ones. Hope OP is doing well, I feel for her
@@BlockPal-cn4yq It's disgusting these people treat having kids as a duty or something a woman is made for and not for the experience of raising them can actually mean for a person, either man or woman. Because when it's about "fulfilling the life of a woman" it is always about pregnancy and not about raising a child, otherwise, if it was a dream of hers to have kids, perhaps she could have adopted one, knowing her health would be on the line.
@@aquele4virou3 totally agree 👏 people are missing the main point which is bringing a human to this world and raising them, it’s a huge responsibility that should be taken with love and compassion by both parents, not some duty that needs to be fulfilled
Male here. And as someone who doesn't want kids (and yes it makes dating harder, whatever) but nothing makes me more angry than people constantly telling me how selfish it is not wanting to have children. Why are people so invested in my stance on this I don't get it.
As someone who has always grown up wanting kids but who won't have them (not for fertility reasons, but mental health reasons), noone has the right to push you. Children are not a right nor are they for everyone. Not everyone have that parenting drive. Many who have that drive still should not have children. Having children should be an active choice, not the expected route you have to opt out of. Making the commitment to raise a child into a full adult, no matter what happens, is a HUGE thing. It should not be done as casually as it is in todays society!
As a parent myself I don't understand why they care so much if someone doesn't want kids. It's your choice and they don't get to have an opinion on choices only you can make.
My problem is with people saying I'm not gonna find a person who doesn't have kids because of my age (28). I'm like well if I exist, surely he does too lol
When my husband proposed to me, my "best friend's" response was, "So you're really going to choose him over me?". All I said was "yeeeeaahhh". She stormed off. Never saw her again.
That's wild! Sorry that happened to you! Im a guy, so I cant relate to that kind of friendship. Did she have feelings for you? Why is it even a choice? Being married doesn't mean you can't have a friend.
That’s wild to think you have to pick between marrying someone or having a best friend. Like?? You can have both? Getting married doesn’t mean you stop having friends. And while it is heartbreaking to be the single person while all your friends spend all their time with their SO instead, it’s not like getting married would take you any further away from your friends than before you got engaged.
Angela cutting her hair and frequently calling herself Squirrel Girl makes me think she was cast in a Marvel project as Squirrel Girl, and she can’t keep it to herself.
@@majintv24 Angela: "I got revenge by becoming your best friend's clingy best friend." Also Angela: "I'm already 5 moves ahead of you mf, I BOOKED!!! I BOOKED!!!"
Everytime I hear someone say ''you don't want kids? you'll change your mind'', I want to say the same thing to someone who does want kids. ''Oh you want kids? You'll change your mind'', ''You'll regret having them when you're older''. Just to show how messed up that mindset is. edit: just to be clear - I would say these things back to those who would claim I'd change my mind, etc. Would not say that to those respecting my own choices, obviously.
My mom kept telling me that, even now even though i’m a transguy and know i can’t afford money (and time) to grow and raise a kid. It’s more than just being pregnant and giving birth, a baby is going to be another human adult. Parents treat the child like they’re a material object when they’re a whole other human being, not an accessory. and it looks like most of those same people don’t actually raise their kids or traumatize them so much that it affects those child’s relationships in the future when they’re adults. it’s not a matter of changing mind it’s a matter of there are Billions of humans on this earth who all have different lives, so why should they be limited to 1 thing to “define” them.
@@cryptiddyStudies? Care to show the scientific papers on that that have been proven by people of the field? Because forcing a sexist view on someone just because you think it’s right does not justify harassing a woman to do something she does not want to do.
@@PocketKanin No, they meant that the studies show that it's more likely for a parent to regret having kids, than a child free person regret not becoming a parent. I haven't seen the studies but I can confirm with some parents I know lol
Even if some women change their minds, it doesn't change the fact that we are allowed to make that decision now. How invalidating to be all "Yes, you are an adult, but you aren't allowed to make life defining decisions for yourself. Let us make that for you."
Guys it’s Roe/Marcus’s wedding too, not just M’s, and as much as Izzy seems to be making M miserable, it sounds like she has actively sabotaged Marcus in the past. He also gets to have a say in all the wedding stuff, but Izzy is only contacting M bc she considers Marcus less important as a person and by extension she thinks he should be a less important relationship to M than her 1:09:11
Because these are recorded ahead of release, I wanted to check on the last story to see if there was an update. While I didn’t find one, I did find more explanation of “Izzy taking credit for the gift that Roe bought for Em for her birthday”. It’s stated that it was a very nice purse that Em had eyed up during an outing with Roe, which he saved up for and bought, but Izzy claimed she bought it as a joke because “he was too poor to buy it”. Also, it sounds like Izzy is still expected to be at the wedding as Roe doesn’t want to ask or force that issue, it sounds like he’s avoiding adding more to the stress of Em. The whole last story is WILD.
Im like Angela and Amanda, i need the update. People need to find the best man and ask him for updates when the cake goes down, omg can you imagine if Izzy goes and stands up like “Im against this matrimony”? she is totally making everything about herself. This wedding gonna be messy AF. Im here for it 🫖
Izzy absolutely sees Em as her lover or her pet, but not her BFF. I buy her the nice things, I take her to the fancy restaurants, I take her to extravagant vacations. The original complaint was that Em finally stood up for herself and Izzy was trying to get validation to probably manipulate Em with.
The mother who is trying force her daughter into being a parent is the one who lacks empathy. Not the daughter who was lied to and trying to being forced into a role as a replacement. Gross all around
I love the conspiracy theory vibe of this video, Angela and Amanda coming up with the whackiest theories and Shayne trying to wrangle them in is the funniest dynamic.
For all the young women in the comments who have been told they would change their mind about having kids. No, you probably won't. I'm 45, still waiting for those maternal feelings to kick in. Many of my friends are the same. If you want kids, great, but lots of people don't. Also a LOT of people with kids will come out and privately tell you they are jealous of you because they regret having them. So if you're not sure, DON'T.
52:44 no the moms still a villian. Let’s not give her grace just cause she’s old. She’s calling her daughter in law out in front of her family. She’s still responsible for how she acts. She’s a villain
Yes, it's another bad take from amanda with double standards when it comes to women and men. She can't excuse the mom because that's how she was raised and blame the husband when he was raised like that to. They are both wrong.
I agree with you. The only thing that bugs me Is when people put a lot More responsability on the parents than the actual person. its his (the husband) job to put his shit together, to set boundaries, to talk with their parents in the first stages of his relationship with his now wife about how his parents should not have any say in how they divide labor. He Is negligently letting his mom have an opinion when she should not. She can think however she wants, but HE HAS TO ACT ACCORDINGLY, BY NOT LETTING THEM STAY IN THEIR HOUSE, or other options in cause dialogue doesn't work, cause I would bet that is not the first time those comments have risen. And I have seen that Shayne always tend to put more blame on the parent (specially a woman, a mom) than on the partner (a son usually). The mom Is a villain, yes, but the blame Is on the husband 100%. He owes her wife respecting the things they have already agreed on. So I actually took amanda's comment as a way to push the conversation to that focus.
@Humberto-ib1qm Imo the husband is still worse off to say that in front of his kids. To tell your wife "i wish you were more of a woman" in front of your kids???? Beyond messed up. He's so dead wrong especially when she makes the money because of his poor decisions. The mom however is yes still in the wrong no matter what but to see your partner being demeaned and you dont stand up for them.....
@@deathdragoncat i agree that's messed up, but the mom and husband are on same level off bad, but it's at a point where it even doesn't matter who's the worse both big assholes. What's worse is i get the feeling that mom is probably try to shove that backwards mentality to her grandchildren when op isn't around and the father just acept it, hope not tho.
As soneone whose parents divorce was an absolute shock because they never fought or said a bad word about each other, PLEASE communicate with your children in an age-appropriate way. The divorce was incredibly traumatizing simply by how blindsided I felt.
That last story, originally when they were talking about gluten free options I *immediately* went, "Yeah, that's fair, I'd want to know if the cake was going to be gluten free too," but... No, it's because they don't like chocolate??? That's wild to me. I don't like chocolate either, but that was wild
yeah why do you need to "prepare yourself" lolol just don't eat it also even if it were an allergy just ask (the kitchen, not the bride) on the day of and again....don't eat it
In the last one I've noticed no one that I've seen so far has made the point that Izzy seems to be treating M (or Em I don't know I wasn't there) in such a weird maniplulative way. The main reason I think this is that Izzy first lied about M saying "shove it" therefore building the narrative that she is the bad guy who got agressive over a question about the flavor of a cake. She then claims M is her "BFF" and "wouldn't use her real name" to try and prove that M would not sign off on the post (which we have no reason not to believe as Izzy has been lying since the start of her post). It is also important to remember that the only reason he could have made this post is for an ego boost or to use the comments as "evidence" that she is the one who is moral and good in her and M's "friendship". Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Yeah they did not go into Izzy as much as they should have. She sounds more than ridiculous. How smosh came in the end and said the fiancee may be an AH too is wild.
@@lucaleone4331 Ironically, I think that Amanda and Angela came to that conclusion in a way that's similar to the friend in the first story with the mistress. Izzy is clearly an awful person, but they can empathize with her situation to an extent. I noticed that it was only Shayne that drew a line at the parents comment and sorta remained steadfast in labeling her the clear worst person in the story.
@@lucaleone4331 if em was so pissed about the shit izzy was doing, why not have em do it? he didnt need to defend his wife like a dumbass. the fiancee is an asshole because of how he treated izzy as well.
My paternal grandmother was illiterate for her entire life. And it wasn’t because she was stupid or incompetent or didn’t want to learn. In fact, she wanted nothing more as a child than to go to school. She was prohibited from going to school by her mother. Whenever she expressed the desire to go to school her mother would beat her. Her mother did this because it wasn’t a woman’s place to be educated or be anything more than a servant to her family. It was tradition. My grandmother was robbed of the chance for an education because of tradition. WELL, FUCK TRADITION! What kills me is is that it was he mother who did this to her. Her mother, who was pigeonholed into a life of subservience, wanted her and her sister to have the same exact life as she had rather than wanting a better life for her daughters. Not that an education makes a person’s life better, but the ability to at least be able to read opens up a far greater world to you. At least my grandmother was able to break the cycle and ensure her daughters went to school, for what it was worth. My grandmother, in spite of her illiteracy, became a midwife. I believe she was the only midwife in the village. When my grandfather was sent off to war, my grandmother was heavily pregnant with their third child. When the day came for her to give birth, she delivered my uncle all by herself. Who was she gonna call to help deliver her baby? A midwife? She was the midwife! Who who better to deliver her child than herself? No doctor, no nurses, no epidural. Just her, by herself. It was only after she gave birth that she thought to call for her sister to help out a little. My grandmother was the toughest person I’ve ever known. She was a true battleaxe and I say that in the most loving and respectful way.
My grandma was also refused an education due to being a woman. Once she was an adult, she took what she wanted for herself. She went into IT and graduated with top grades before starting as a manager at a big hotel chain. She gave decades of her life to a man who could neither manage his money nor his downstairs department but divorced him in her 70s, keeping the respect of all her children and their family. She's my idol. My grandpa spread lies about her and turned the older generations against her, but he'll die lonely while she's surrounded by loved ones♡
The thing is, it backfires on men too when we arrange responsibilities this way too. I've seen a few old men now whose wives have died and who now unhappily live in absolute squalor and have no idea how to cook for themselves.
my grandma had to drop out of school at 15 to get married and provide for her husband and have kids . She's also illiterate, but wicked smart. She makes sure myself and her other grandkids (all girls!) prioritize school over everything and loves hearing about what we learn :)
That last one, phew. "Izzy" sounds worse and worse and worse the more she talks. The obsessiveness, the possessiveness, the classism and the money snobbery, the apparent blind conviction that "only I can give her what she needs," the bizarre remarks about their supposed "chemistry," all of it is wild. It's giving something a lot closer to stalker vibes than bestie vibes. It honestly seems like "Marcus" had her clocked, and knew all he had to do was bark back just enough to get her running her mouth, and DAMN.
The third story is SO SAD omg. It's clear he wasn't ready to date, just chose to date her because she reminded him of his fiancee and he misses her. That is just so sad but definitely not a situation OP should continue to be in
Third story is making me SEETHE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Not even due to the unstable/grieving guy who lied and manipulated her, but the fact that HER OWN MOTHER and so called friend are guilt tripping her for having the slightest boundary
Throw in a few jokes and it would be a sitcom plot or a Ben Stiller movie. But, honestly, I agree. Wtf? How does anyone go into something with that sort of lie and think it's going to work out. Is it like, "Aha! I tricked you! I really do have a kid! And now that we're already dating, you can't leave! Those are the rules." I'll chalk it up to the guy being in grief and not thinking clearly (though it's still crazy), but the other people in the story (other than OP) are just baffling.
@@johnplaysgames3120nah men do this on a less extreme scale all the time. It’s free bird theory. Basically some men enjoy making a woman change for them. They seek out women that they’re attracted to, but that don’t actually fit what they want in a partner, and they try to manipulate them into being their ideal partner. Ballerina farm and jonah hill are both recent examples.
@@annabelledrake2027women do it too though lmao. the whole “i can fix him” thing. some people in general start dating someone with intent to mold them into the “ideal partner”
@@reckless_herb yes but women and men often act the way they do for different reasons. we’re raised differently and have different influences from society. When women do it, it’s often because they’ve been told that it’s their responsibility to take care of men and teach them to be better. It’s not something they seek out or want to have to do. When men do it, it seems a lot more about control. It’s much less common for a woman to convince her husband to leave his career ambitions behind to raise children than it is for a man to do that to his wife. Many men seem to fantasize about taking an ambitious woman and turning her into a stay at home mom/wife, even if that was not what she originally wanted. It’s something they literally brag about. It’s not all men, but enough of them for it to be a recognizable pattern.
i’m so glad i wasn’t the only one thinking this, i immediately went searching in the comments to see if anyone else had the same idea so thank you for saying it lmao
The wedding story I kind of get it. Saying "mentally prepare myself" is never followed by good feelings, ya know? Emergency sirens are never going on for happy news...
35F childfree here, married to a wonderful man who had a vasectomy years before we even met. We're often being told we'd make good parents, but it falls on deaf ears at this point because our minds are firmly made up. I have never had maternal instincts. The only thing that even remotely gives me 'baby' fever is kittens and puppies. Anyway, we've gotten used to responding to these comments with something along the lines of 'Maybe, but we aren't willing to risk a kid's wellbeing and happiness if we decide we don't want it. Kids aren't mattresses, there's no 30 day return policy. Absolutely no one has the right to determine your worth as a woman, especially if you choose not to be a mother! You don't need maternal instincts to be a nurse, or any other profession for that matter. Sorry not sorry for the rant. This subject gets me pretty fired up.
omg FR, OP’s friend is genuinely awful for trying to force OP into thinking that mistress deserves any amount of respect when it’s clear mistress doesn’t respect her. she should find out all on her own & get her karma 🤭
Yeah, OP posted an update where she point blank asked “Was your husband married when you started sleeping with him?” and the friend didn't answer for a day and when she did finally respond she just called OP a jealous bitch
As I like to say “WRONG AUDIENCE.” Whether her friend can empathize or not, she should be supportive of her friend, not moralizing the situation because of her own experiences.
For that last story I hope to GOD that Izzy doesn't go to the wedding because she sounds SO exhausting. Hell I'd say she's borderline co-dependent because holy crap just let your friend enjoy her relationship without you breathing down her neck!
Her comments that she makes towards her and her friends relationship does very much sound codependent and bordering on possessive behavior. I understand wanting to hang out with friends time to time especially if they haven’t met up in a while but is this a whole wedding thing. She’s definitely not gonna have much time (esp since it sounds like she’s stressing out big time) so to essentially fight over that is a waste of time. Just talk to her as see if she has any free time if she so badly wants to hang out with her more often.
41:00 when those studies were looked into more, it supported the theory that those who enjoy a glass of red wine every night are more likely to be of a higher socioeconomic status and/or have access to better healthcare and preventative treatment/medication.
I mean I could also see Em just totally not wanting to deal with Izzy anymore and not having the energy to meet her directly. To go a step further, if Em has really been trying her best to compromise for all these months, she could be a people pleaser, and maybe knows that her resolve might fold in a confrontation. Izzy was trying to butt into Em AND Marcus’ wedding, he’s probably feeling offended on his own behalf too.
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. I've known people like Izzy, and not only can they be exhausting to deal with, they tend to attach themselves to people pleasers who can't bring themselves to set clear boundaries. Then they take and take and take until the people pleaser finally hits a breaking point. Wouldn't be surprised if Em's hit that breaking point, but also still lacks the nerve to do the confrontation herself.
That is exactly the what I think is happening, apart from leaving out other details in the first post, she claims to be best friend with both of them & having great communication with him while she actively hates him. She is using him in the first post to seem like the bride was irrational. She did a 180 in both tone & facts. Also, I generally agree that couples should deal with their side of messy people but couples have every right & responsibility to not only stand by but to stand up to for their significant other infront of someone thats hurting them.
the second shayne said the boyfriend made a comment and not Em I immediately got people pleaser vibes from Em. I’ve been a people pleaser all my life and have very often asked my boyfriend to help me handle stressful situations. I quite literally cannot do it myself in some cases, especially since I’m also autistic
Exactly. And I know they were saying “well where is Em’s input?” Probably there, just not out in public 🤷 if Em did signed off on the first post (I’m guessing she did and Izzy’s in denial) I imagine Marcus is communicating the cliff notes to Em and giving her the play-by-play. The more I think it over, the more I believe that Izzy doesn’t actually see Em as a friend. The way Izzy talks about Em isn’t like she’s describing losing a friend, she’s describing losing her favorite doll or stuffed animal: “we can’t have sleepovers and cuddles” etc. To her, Marcus isn’t taking away her BFF, he’s taking away her favorite toy.
My mom is 70, I'm 49. My dad's mom was very traditional and had a rule that the men ate first. They were hard working and needed the food more. My hero mom would NOT let that happen! We, as little kids were hurried to the table, ordered to find a seat, and if she was feeling especially rebellious, she would make up our plates during the prayer! My grandma was very much a victim of society. She was trapped, and would talk about the things she wanted to do after grandpa died. She never got the chance. She developed dementia and died first.
Yo, that’s so sad tho. To have all those wishes and plans for your life, but you have to wait for someone else to die first? And then you _don’t_ get to do anything?? Big bummer.
Reminds me of my Aunt whose in her 70's now, telling me about how her step dad (my dad's dad) used to SA her and beat my grandma growing up. My grandma told her that they both needed to keep quiet and play happy family because my dad having a good relationship with his father was apparently more important. Now that secret is my burden to bare, one silver lining is that POS croaked long before I was born.
I mean in my house, everyone waited to eat until everyone was seated. And we all made our own plates as soon as we were old enough. Men made their plates first, as they usually eat the most, then mom, because she put in the work to make the food, then the kids.
I grew up like that, my step dad got served 1st and got all the good meat etc us kids were served up last n got whatever meat the adults didn't want. As a mother my kids are feed first always and get 1st choice of all foods, when my parents come to mine they expect to be served as they sit and wait, so I serve them....after my 4 children and partner are served
That story of the wife telling the husband he wouldn't be able to support the family on his income alone is a perfect example of how the patriarchy hurts men too. His mom was placing all these arbitrary expectations on him and because of his lifestyle, he feels ashamed for not meeting those goals that someone else has placed on him.
Okay for the last story, I think her fiancé is standing up for her bc he KNOWS that Em is exhausted from Izzy’s behavior, BUT she doesn’t want to say these things herself bc she DOES value their friendship..she’s probably hoping things can settle & Izzy will chill out eventually so they can still be close. I understand Izzy feeling protective & possessive, I was like that w my best friends when I was younger (but I also have bpd soo 😂) I think it’s sad all around & Izzy feels threatened & abandoned, which obviously doesn’t make anything she’s doing okay but makes it make a little more sense. As for the wedding itself, I think some girls imagine planning things like that w their bestie, like how we brainstormed baby names at some point, & feels entitled to that experience w her, which IS problematic but again, I can understand how she feels that way. The fiancé is just tired of her bullshit regardless of motive, & tired of watching Izzy be belittle & badgered. Sad all around really
52:44 I have to disagree with Amanda here. It’s the mom’s responsibility to learn about the new version of the world. She is talking about a view that has been outdated for 25+ years. It does make sense why she might think that way. But her expression of this is the true problem
This might be controversial but the white girl getting mad because her non-white friend got chosen for something over her is more common than people realize. It's happenee to me more times than i care to talk about and I've seen it happen to other Black and brown people.
Especially if they’re in a predominantly white area. Which I think I they might be. It’s very telling that op says her friend is objectively prettier. It feels like op has been surrounded by white people her whole life and fed this bs constantly.
@@goldernbtatenunit’s reminds me of the black best friend trope in television. Like the white best friend is the main character and her brown/black friend is just the side kick to HER life. I forgot where I read this but someone put it best “in (Hollywood) movies the non-white (along with LGBT characters) were firsts the villains, then, sidekicks/ best friend to the white protagonist and only in recent years the non-white (LGBT) characters are now written to be the main characters of their own story.
Ex Lied About Having A Child: ... I 100% agree dad needs time to heal, but idk if he realises the bad situation he could be putting his child into. (Let me preface this by saying that I in NO way think OP would be this type of person). As a 30 year old woman that's parents divorced when I was 1-2 years old, my mom started dating my step dad shortly after... There is nothing worse (saying, I know there is actually worse things) than growing up in a home where you are not wanted. My step dad did want kids, but did NOT want MY dads child, and those feelings of not wanting a certain child are not easy to hide. He should be looking for someone that wants kids when the time is right, kids are aware as they get older when they're not wanted or liked even if the person plasters a smile on their face, they overhear things, get lashed out at and treated poorly (more obvious when the parent has their own bio-children from my experience but still..) and that can do some real damage on that child's self esteem and self worth.
Its pretty common for men to not want the children of another man. Some men do, and they really step up, but even if they have their own kids with a woman who has children with a previous man (whether theyre seperated or hes passed away) the new man will often treat his children better, even just slightly, because theyre *his* kids, whereas the others arent.
in regards to the reddit story abt op saying her husband is too broke to be sexist, she is 10000% right. if a man wants to have a traditional stay at home wife/mother, then he needs to be a traditional sole provider for the household. if you do not fall in that category, then you have no say on wanting a traditional wife if you’re not making enough money in being a traditional husband.
Aside from that, his parents started out at another time, economy was different. Maybe in another country too? Or at least living another country‘s ways. Why should HIS take priority vs her family history? Why should she not work, and if he dies, she’s stuck in a much worse financial situation, or if he cheats and divorces her, she’s screwed. She is not asking him to take on the house and children duties, not working outside the home because he makes less. Would he want his daughters to be in a subservient situation ?
My husband works on a boat and he is gone most days out of the month. He works around the clock, he is the sole provider for our household as we have young kids and it is best for our family for me to be a stay at home mom, while it is my job to take care of the house, kids and pets while he is away... He still helps me when he is home, if I'm cooking he tends to our kids, if laundry is getting overwhelming he helps fold while I put them away. While everyone deserves a break now and then, marriage is always meant to be a partnership no one person should be expected to carry the load on their own while the other gets waited on hand and foot regardless of gender.
@@jessicastorer8127ALL OF THIS! Marriage is a partnership, and you're in this together. The whole thing was working for the OP in that story until the MiL got her two cents worth in, whilst the OP was away at work and couldn't speak out for herself, mind you. It's this kind of thing that causes people to go low or no contact with parents or inlaws.
I feel like people who don't want kids often understand the responsibility of raising a child more than a lot of people who have or want children. If you're choosing to go against the grain of society, you've probably thought it through
@@simplerrors11 Literally the best parenting advice and takes I ever seen came from people who don't want nor have kids. Because unlike the emotionally unstable parents, these people are actually mature and responsible enough to not accidentally have something they don't want. It's sad, really. You have to be completely irresponsible to end up with the most responsible job... sadly, most parents don't gain responsibility and maturity after they have children. In fact, some get worse.
When people would ask why I didn’t want kids I would explain all of the responsibilities that came with having a kid and how it would affect the life I actually wanted. I would also add that I was “good with kids” because I didn’t have any. It’s easy to be patient and fun when you only have to do it every once in a while. Most people wouldn’t push once they realized it was something I actually thought thru and understood. But if they did push, I would ask them why they would want a child born to a person who didn’t want them. And I would stress how weird that is. That would always make them shut up.
I literally thought to myself ‘lmao what if it’s Veronica Mars’ and I didn’t actually expect to be RIGHT??!! That show is EASILY in my top 5, if not top 3 favourite shows - my heart LEAPT when Shayne gave the clue 😭🥹
Em didn't tell Marcus not to talk to Izzy. Izzy said that that's what she suspected but that was never actually said. Also, only Izzy said that she was Em's best friend. I have a feeling that that's not the case.
I love how in the last story, I went to check out the original post by Izzy and despite omitting just about everything in the story the comments had her clocked 100%. The comments absolutely hated her, so many YTA and calling her, whiny, childish, annoying, exhausting, spoiled, and likely having more demands than just the cake flavor. They were ruthlessssss
I'd be willing to bet the husband misrepresented the status of his marriage to Mistress too. Seen a lot of stories like this where if you get the Mistresses side it comes out that the husband painted it like he's "basically" already divorced, but he's just letting his Ex-wife stay in "his" house out of pity.
48:40 She said the truth, though. If you're rich you at least have some excuse for saying that you can provide for your family, but your wife is also working to sustain a family and you expect her to do all the work? She's better than me, I would have said something much worse.
@@raymax_1071 I would've gave him 30 minutes to come up with something to tell his mother off and a reason as to why I shouldn't just take the kids and leave him right then. If he wants to be a "traditional" "man" then he can let mommy cook, clean and pay for him. I'd be single forever before I'd even begin to let my children thinks that's how anybody should be, let alone get away with.
There actually was an update to the first story and it was confirmed that OP's friend was in fact the other woman before she and her husband got married.
Please explain lightly further. Like she was the other woman in her own relationship or to the ops husband?
@@slugsiemuu3201she was the other woman in her own relationship. No relation to OP or her husband.
There is no husband. OP stated that they were not married and just living together
@@SonOfMuta
Thanks I was going to comment that.
Thanks..
That wedding cake story was the ultimate tea. the definitions of drama that you never want but don't mind watching.
The amount of back and forth reply’s, I kept gasping lol
I’m at the conversation after the first reply back from Izzy to Marcus (fuck it they used their own names eventually 😂) and I just realized there’s 12 more minutes to the video
@@faeri_i had that same thought i was like 'oh hell, theres heaps of the video left!'
It's the sort of conversation you want to overhear on a long, boring bus ride
I had a situation as messy as this one and you're so right, you wouldn't wanna be caught in it as much as you desperately wanna hear all about it 😭😭 like I can relate to the whole mess but was also equally shocked and pumped to hear the whole thing, Angela was such a mood HAHAH (on a positive note, I've been working on healing those toxic parts of me and I'm still getting there 😉👍🏼 wish me luck)
01:07:03 "Sorry you can't take care of her like I can" absolutely GAGGED me
Same, like the fight of Izzy vs Marcus after heard the story is the fighting for control of Em and that scarred me
it was giving 'the young & the restless' early 2000s messiness 😂
That is some ‘YOU’ type shh
Medical professional here, Shane is right, red wine does not decrease cancer or heart disease, the level of antioxidants like reservatrol are in such low amounts you would need to drink large quantities to get an effective dose at which point the ethanol and sugars would be increasing your cancer and heart disease risks several times more.
IIRC this specific myth comes from the correlation fallacy (aka: "people who play polo tend to be healthier and live longer" => not because polo has health magical benefits, but because it is a sport that tends to be played by people who are overall wealthier and those people have a better access to healthcare).
Yep. Whatever healthy components exist in wine are better gotten… from the grapes they came from.
@kenzouilli True, coupled with the
non-drinkers in these studies often being teetotal because they are ex-alcoholics.
And it is a type 1 carcinogen so can cause (at least) 7 types of cancer. In smaller amounts in women it can cause breast cancer.
I could hear Shane going nuts in his laugh- especially knowing his college background being psych- being mad the human brain is so vulnerable to misinformation IS A COMMON FRUSTRATION.
the woman who told her husband that he’s too broke to be sexist is my new idol
Its giving Drew Afualo. 😂
Right?! Caving to your mommy and not supporting your wife is very unattractive
@@kimberlygallant2344 fr like what did he think he was doing ✋😭
She is such an icon 😂
@@allimoore4440 the most iconic queen to ever rule
"But you'd be such a good mom!"
Stop. Personally, I know I wouldn't be a good mom because I Don't Want To Be One. Period. Don't force a child to live in a world where their own mother doesn't want them. It happens far too often, and it's heartbreaking. Kids deserve better, and it's not selfish to admit that. I'm glad OP knows how to set boundaries!!
absolutely, this is exactly my feelings on it. i spent a good chunk of my childhood raising my siblings, which my family thinks was just practice for “real motherhood”. i love my siblings more than anything but they are the only children i will ever raise, family expectations be damned.
@lokiawriter8077 Completely understandable. They wanted you to learn a lesson from it, and you did, just not the one they expected. You have to do what's best for you.
I'd been saying this to everyone. To be a good mom you need to WANT to be a mom, and we don't want that XD
I’ll never understand people wanting to force women to have kids.. like okay so you want this kid to either be unloved by their mother who doesn’t want them or be put in the system? Why would you want both a woman and child to suffer like that? Do they not realize how awful that is??
I reminds me of how when you as a woman do something competent or impressive and someone goes "Isn't she such good wife material?" and kinda instantly reducing you to some hypothetical guy
Amanda talking about motherhood, bodily autonomy, parenthood and womanhood like that is healing. Literally right to the heart. In particular the part about not putting all the stress and trauma into your kid and weaponizing them in adult conversations. Mexican, salsa, yes!
🖤
Im shock at this episode how good Angela and Amanda this esp unlike their previous ones
Amanda kinda sounded like she was talking from experience (wanting kids but not being able to have them) and whether or not she was, her ferocity is really powerful
@@simpayshenaides we stan growth
Re: husband not standing up for his wife to his mom; another point ppl often overlook is that, with only the man working, if he dies or loses his job, what then? Your wife/partner has NO marketable skills, no employment history.
This! On a semi-related story, my great uncle was retired and had a lot of savings when he passed away, so finding work wasn't an issue for my aunt, but suddenly having to learn how to deal with finances on top of her grief was. I don't think she'd ever actually accessed their accounts before then, and her name wasn't on any of the bills/accounts etc. It was watching her struggle with this that actually made my own mother (SAHM for most of my childhood, now working) decide that she wanted to learn how to do that stuff.
Oh yeah I've seen multiple videos of former housewives/SAHMs talking about exactly this problem. The relationship ended one way or another and they found themselves unable to support themselves because they had no income or savings of their own and it was hard to get a job without marketable skills or work experience, so they were in really major trouble. They urged women to never put themselves in that situation and to always have something to fall back on if the worst were to happen (could be anything from partner dying to getting cheated on or abused and having to leave)
I love how often Amanda says "I'm boiling over" or "This makes me so angry", but yet is somehow the calmest, most composed person while making solid points.
that's why she has to say it, otherwise we would never tell
That feels like a good example of emotional maturity, being able to effectively communicate how you're feeling and not exploding because of those emotions
Yeah, I wish I could do that. She's so strong and well spoken
Well it is not like she is serious about this, just like Amanda says "i love this", "i laughed loud" , "this is the worst". It is just used to exaggerate and make her speech more alive even if she does not put so much into it. It is quite common you probably saw it too.
"This makes me so angry," Amanda said furiously.
the story about the man demeaning his wife and her calling him broke in front of the kids. He demeaned her in front of the kids, she *had* to defend herself in front of the kids or risk teaching them it's okay to treat women like that or it's okay to be treated like that.
Yeah, my opinion is she just taught her kids that you shouldn't tolerate disrespect. I thought it was awesome 🤣
Finally 🙌🏻 Thank you.
exactly. she said her mom taught her to not depend and to gain financial freedom. this is sadly one situation where SHE teaches her own children that principle too.
I completely agree.
I agree. I thought it was the right thing to respond to him in front of the kids.
As a woman who wanted kids but can't have it due to having a hysterectomy from ovarian cancer, thank you so much for speaking out about the pressure that is put on women to have children. I've literally heard people say you're less of a woman for not having kids and it's hard not to internalize it. For the most part I've come to terms with living child free but it hurts a lot from time to time.
I’m sorry for the pressure you’ve had to endure. You’re wonderful regardless
feeling this too to an extent. I don’t want kids, but I do have PCOS. I stopped having periods when I was 14 and the doctors did nothing about it until my lining was so thick they said they needed to give me emergency surgery because I was at risk of developing ovarian cancer.
Now I’m taking birth control, which has made me gain a ton of weight that my PCOS will prevent me from losing, and on top of that I have periods now. I haven’t in my life had the chance to get used to periods. I never got desensitized to the pain or the depression/mood swings. Now as an adult, it feels like I’m going through puberty again and it’s agonizing.
I want a hysterectomy. I don’t want kids, and I want a hysterectomy, but it’s so incredibly difficult to get one because doctors simply won’t let you if they don’t think your reason is valuable enough. I knew someone with PCOS who got a hysterectomy to avoid life-threatening health issues as a child, only to find out her womb was still in tact years later. Who knows what the doctors ACTUALLY did during the surgery. Women are forever held to this idea that they were created to make children and if they don’t (whether they choose that or not), they are not a real woman. Sickening.
Ah, tx for the resume, kinda skipped that part
Im sorry life has been so unfair to you. I still hope that you are able to live a happy life and find other things to bring you peace❤️
People are shitty! Sad you are made to feel that way. Hope you find peace in it. Know there is nothing wrong with not having children be it by choice or not. It's not all in your hands 🤍
the "prettier friend has more power" thing is so real. It might be unspoken in most cases but still present
The woman didn’t demean her husband’s income, she made a valid point. If he wants a traditional housewife, $35,000 a year is not going to cut the expenses of 1 person let alone 2-3+ others
35k a year is roughly the salary of some teachers in some states and even then they usually need a second job to cover more personal needs. It’s hell living in today’s world making less than 200k with a full family and parents if they need financial help.
No she did demean her husband based on his salary.
@@Kriplingpowr stating a fact someone doesn't like isn't the same as demeaning them. 35,000 annual is simply not enough for him to attempt to hold these beliefs, ESPECIALLY because his WIFE who he was being sexist to is the breadwinner.
@@Kriplingpowr a salary that wouldn’t support her or their kids because he agreed with mommy that she should be a SAHM. If he didn’t she wouldn’t have brought it up
Well the issue is that regardless of his income, a man that won't stick up for his wife is worthless. He could be making 350,000 a year and the way he's treating her because he can't stand up to his mommy makes him worthless.
Looked on Reddit and found the update to the first story. OP did infact confront her best friend and pretty much confirmed that her best friend was a mistress to her best friend's now husband.
Her ex husband moved out, her update didn't say anything about his mistress.
Thank you for the update
Doing the Lord's work
Angela: My acting coach said all life is about sex and all sex is about power
Amanda: I don’t think all sex is about power
Angela: Well, I don’t think all life is about sex
Shayne: And I don’t think you should be taking sex advice from your acting coach
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
That’s from house of cards!
That was so funny
You would think Mr Shayne "I'll just drop a Dorian Grey reference into this random reddit story" Topp would have recognized an Oscar Wilde quote when he hears it.
wow you watched the video congratulations
@@mOwOterboat booooooo
"You need to be a tradwife"
"You should be a tradhusband"
*cries*
That's just really fuckin funny to me
Best summary of that one👌🏾 😂😂😂
Honestly, at this point, if your boyfriend takes his mom’s side over you even once, go ahead and walk away. Reddit is so overrun with stories of women tied to these little baby men who think mommy is still in charge.
"Too broke to be so sexist" is truly legend behavior.
As a woman who is childfree by choice, you guys ATE with your commentary on the third story. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told “you’ll change your mind someday”. Well, I’m pushing 30, my husband and I are both completely content in our life with each other, and we feel zero obligation to change our minds.
People who use that phrase are almost ALWAYS wrong, and are just flaunting their age advantage to diminish whatever argument you have in favor of their “wisdom”.
To that I say, wisdom requires time, time does not require wisdom.
Ugh for real. I'm 33 and doctors keep saying "let's wait, maybe you'll change your mind" when I say I want to get my tubes tied instead of reducing my bone density more every 3 months (depo shot).
Plus I babysat my 8 year old niece the other day, who terrorized my cats for 5 hours and threw a tantrum when she couldn't colour on my walls, and I can say for sure, NO THANK YOU.
"Childfree" is such a cope term though lol
People who don't want kids will most likely not change their mind and not regret it. You can't regret something you have never experienced. That being said almost every single parent I know say their greatest joy in life was having and raising kids.
At around the 32 minute mark, Amanda spoke about how not every woman can have a baby, and that society needs to stop making that a woman thing, and I just had to say thank you for saying that. I’m a woman that wants a family with children more than anything in the world, but 4 years ago, I lost the ability to have kids via a total hysterectomy that saved my life. I’ve tried dating since then, but any time the topic of kids comes up, I disclose the fact that I can’t have kids even though I want them. Without fail, every single guy I’ve told this to treats me differently; like I’m less than a woman because I can’t get pregnant.
I was always unsure if I wanted children, then the choice was no longer in my control due to an accident, and now I can’t have them, and I’m definitely treated definitely differently being no longer able to have children vs someone who didn’t know/potentially didn’t want children. When it’s a choice, you’re treated like a monster. When it’s not, I’m treated with pity, and it’s assumed I wanted them, and I’m a sad lady for not being able to have them.
I'm an aroace who has had too many people insist I need to find a man and get pregnant, and it's so annoying when people continues to try to pressure others into these things. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you and all the questions you and other people who want children but are unable to for various reasons have to deal with. It doesn't make you less of a woman, we are all more than our ability to procreate.
@@candysays100It also makes it difficult when women are encouraged to have many children but actually doesn't get the help like maternity leave, sick leave and help to feed their kids and put them through school, and then get called bad mothers. Women never seem to win no matter what we do. 🤷♀️
Im sorry things are being pushed on you. I know how that feels. I hope you either come to peace with not having children or come up with an alternative method that works for you. Whatever you choose, good luck! 💕
It is an instinctual response. The same way women are instinctually repulsed by men who can’t provide and/or protect. No matter what media taught you about men, we want children too. It isn’t your fault that you can’t have children, and you should continue to disclose your infertility as soon as it is appropriate to do so. You will find a man that is willing to work around that with you should you remain persistent and consistent. Perhaps you could find a sterile man that wants to adopt a few children and raise them with you. Stranger things have happened.
1:16:22 of course Izzy wanted ivory dresses. Then she could feel like she's a bride and she's infact the one marrying M and not Marcus lol
Second story: I fully believe that Eva is used to being “the pretty friend” and can’t handle that OP was chosen over her.
💯
🎯🎯🎯
OP was her DUFF 💯
Oh for sure. As soon as she described the two of them I put that together. That poor girl.
Ya it’s very likely that she wasn’t used to rejection when it came to dating. I can understand having a moment of shock and thinking how is this possible and needing to process the situation. It wasn’t really a full rejection in the same way that rejections usually are.
the funny thing about the “you’ll change your mind thing” is that it actively makes people want kids less. i grew up not wanting kids and being told “i’d change my mind,” but eventually people stopped, i got older, saw my cousins with their kids, and i realized i’m not as opposed to kids as before. but it was ultimately the fact that at this point, i no longer felt pressured that changed my mentality.
Everytime someone has said a variation of this in my life, they have ALWAYS been wrong.
EXACTLY. like yea maybe id change my mind in the future, but the fact that people are so confident and so sure that I WILL is the most irritating part. They always make it seem like that not wanting kids is not option. I dont want kids, MAYBE ill change my mind in the future, but you cannot dictate what i should and shouldnt think for myself.
@@DoctorCVCyep! i said i wanted to adopt rather than have biological children, and everyone told me i would change my mind because the 'instinct' (🤮) would kick in when i reached a certain age. i'm now well past that age and i have changed my mind, but about having children at all
@@sadtilesI can’t stand kids…always told I’d change my mind when they were mine…..I don’t want any 😂
Yeah same like only now that I'm 30 and haven't been inundated with "once u have kids, once u get pregnant" etc for years like I did as a TEENAGER I shockingly have warmed up to the idea of one day having kids
Ok. There needs to be a Reddit Stories episode titled "Oops! All Updates!" just for Amanda. And all of us honestly. 😂
But don't tell her the episode name so the updates are surprises :)
They kind of did this a few months ago, but I don't remember if Amanda was on that episode or not.
@@ghostflame723 wasn't it called "Update Reddit Stories" or so?
@johanneshalberstadt3663 that was from stories that already had updates. I think they want new updates to previous stories
@@ghostflame723 I do remember that but who's going to complain if they do more?
I have to say Angela and Amanda might be one of my favorite duos for these reaction stories. Their loud, big, hilarious personalities make these stories so much more engaging
The bsf in the 1st story being a CHILDHOOD friend hurts like imagine getting cheated on and ur friend of over 20 yrs cares abt the mistress more
Because she is a mistress too (that friend) based on the new update said by the comments here😂
Seemed more like a "girl code" kinda thing than taking the other girls side. Almost like she just didn't want the girl being lied to and taken advantage of
@@eclairdawnlight8470That's how I understood it too. I don't see how it's being viewed as caring about the mistress over the "wife" (because not legally married based on the story). It's very much possible to care about more than one thing at a time.
@@eclairdawnlight8470 girl code? You can’t use girl code talking about a mistress that doesn’t even make any sense??
@@eclairdawnlight8470 you would assume girl code would also include not sleeping with another woman's husband
“We always joke about being gay for each other” good luck, babe!
Yessss lol
lmaoo
Such an underrated comment 😂
"We're all hot" is exactly right, everybody is somebody's type. Even if you're not their usual type physically, you can become physically attractive to someone just by being their type of person. Someone can look like nothing of note to me at first, and then as I get to know them, they become the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Attraction is complex.
Mhmm. And remember, if only 1% of people find you attractive, that's still over 70,000,000 people.
Being conventionally attractive will only get you so far if your personality is shit.
@@j.a.r.5974yeah, conventionally attractive gets your foot in the door, but you won't stay in the house long if that's all you have to offer.
yes! for me even if somebody is physically my type to a T, but if they’re a bad person, they become ugly to me. same with the opposite, even if I wouldn’t typically find you attractive, if you’re a good person i’ll like your looks a lot more.
i’ve always said all my friends are attractive, i’m not attracted to all my friends
yes! for me even if somebody is physically my type to a T, but if they’re a bad person, they become ugly to me. same with the opposite, even if I wouldn’t typically find you attractive, if you’re a good person i’ll like your looks a lot more.
i’ve always said all my friends are attractive, i’m not attracted to all my friends
Yeah one time I started playing smash bros with a group of kids in my school, and one of them had the same sense of humor as me. I wasn't physically attracted to him at the time but the chemistry was there so I asked him out. After going out for a while it was like he was the most attractive person ever, physically. I found it so fascinating that emotional attraction was able to *create* physical attraction for me
The cake-post immediately made me question if there was more to the story and the update made things VERY clear.
something about Angela talking about the complexities of being single best friends until the other gets into a relationship was so healing and I need more of it. it’s such a tricky situation to be in.
Doesn’t that relationship after it’s done kind of feel like it was weirdly romantic? Like during the friendship you were just friends and that’s it. But once that mess is involved and the dust settles it’s like hmm. That was like a real breakup with real feelings and missed expectations. Very interesting in my opinion.
that truly healed a part of me because i felt like i was going crazy for a really long time before i opened up more to my friends about the situation i was in. i was so alone while going through it and had to act like nothing was happening because i was made to feel like i was in the wrong. it was honestly the worst pain i’ve ever felt and i’ve been through a lot so i thought i could handle anything at that point and i was very incorrect lmao i wish more people would talk about that stuff because it is so heartbreaking and sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone is extremely comforting. also it definitely doesn’t always happen, i actually love when my friends are in love because they’re happy. but the difference is that a real friend won’t just toss you aside and forget about you and constantly hurt you just because they have a partner. and if that does happen, it’s so incredibly devastating
I do not know if this is a "guys vs girls" cultural thingamajig, but I don't see such drama among "the boys" if you will compared to women. Maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy made thanks to Hollywood and the early fim/tv industry which amplified girl drama a lot more than boy drama, and often reduced boy drama to fisticuffs and added layers to girl drama.
@@mihirx27I don’t know, you definitely do get a lot of tension around certain guy friends when they feel a woman’s taking away their gaming buddy or he doesn’t revolve his life around going out drinking with them anymore.
There was that Reddit story about the friend group threatening to tell their friend about his fiancé’s surprise birthday vacation because they planned a night out on his bd without telling her and we’re butthurt he was spending more time with her. (He still hung out with them a lot so he wasn’t MIA). That’s one of the male versions of
@@mihirx27 I don’t even think it’s really that deep. It’s been heavily documented that women form very close emotional relationships friendship or romantic throughout history. I truly don’t think it’s a Hollywood issue. It’s more female nature than that in my opinion. Unfortunately men have been taught to deal with their disagreements with violence.
The grieving dad story, until it got to the age of the child, I thought that was me. Same ages, same setup and I found out in the same way but she was five. I told him no way with kids but the first night I stayed over she climbed into bed with us in the morning. I was shocked. I did end up being with him for about a year, but they’re so right - if he can lie about a KID, what else can he lie about? When we broke up, everyone told me how heartbroken she was that I wasn’t around anymore and we should get back together “for her.” I’m not a kid person and don’t plan on being a mom, but she wormed her way into my heart and it still hurts years later. That friend who set that up is the biggest asshole in that story.
What irked the most besides the lying from OP's soon to be ex, and especially the mom and friend is this whole notion of following tradition and being ostracized for not following the norm. Factually, females can conceive children, but guess what people? Not every woman wants to have kids. Some may have a medical condition that prevents them from having children or its their beliefs but that's their own choice in the end. Why does it bother others so much when one person doesn't follow the norm?
That’s so messed up. It’s like people see relationships as nothing else but a bubble of protection for the kids involved, regardless of anyone’s intentions or feelings. Crazy.
@@gpeddinoI’ve been with other parents since then and they always take it offensively when I say “I’m not meeting *child* for at LEAST six months. I’m protecting your kid!!
@currentlykmss Yeah, wth? Being in a relationship where one of you has a child, especially if they are younger, can mess everyone up if there's a breakup. My partner has 2 kids and we met when they were early teens. We've been together now for 12 yrs and just thinking abt not being together with my(now) family is painful enough. And the girls are adults now. Can't imagine spending 12 yrs with someone who's kids would still be ^kids^ then leaving.
@@currentlykmsswow, you are amazing, I wouldn't be pissed, I'd be the one thanking you saying actually, I wanted to postpone it myself for the same reason
“By the way, I’m 26 not 25, pay attention” really got me, incredible read
a saying ive kept with me.since i heard it on tiktok who knows how long ago "id rather regret not having kids, then regret having them".
im childfree because i could not live with myself if i had kids and grew to resent them.
As a mum who absolutely believes my children are the best thing I have done and my relationships with them bring me great joy, I 100000% sign off on this.
Have children because you want to and have a partner who you would want your children to be like, no other reason.
I dont't think I see this comment too often but Angela is crazy underrated for her emotional intelligence. She has her 11/9/11 moments from time to time but also has the insightful emotionally intelligent takes that take a lot of these nore serious shows forward, it makes her very human, love her. Yay Angela!!!
So true. Angela's episodes on Reddit Stories are often some of my favourites, not just because of her fantastic big reactions, but she often just distils what needs to be said into one or two sentences. I wish I could be so eloquent talking about these sorts of things!
@@TheEvilDamsel Agreed! Love Angela!
This is the first time i'm seeing her but she's kinda reminding me of my aunt haha - which is good, my aunt is one of the coolest people I know
To be fair to the lady in the first story, When I found out that my then wife had cheated on me and left me for them my love for them died on the spot, I felt it happen and I can understand her being like "no fucks left to give"
I was the same way when I found out a long term partner cheated on me. As soon as the trust was broken in that way, I felt nothing for them & we broke up.
you can ignore this if its too personal, but did you ever go through the "expected" grieving process later? or was it just speedrun to acceptance and that was it
Yeah I’ve gone through similar things with former boyfriends. Some things just makes me turn off feelings, that just never turn on again. Is it my ADHD is it my childhood trauma. I dont know. I just know I dont let people treat me wrong.
@@anemonemilyyy i've never personally gone through this but i could understand this reaction completely. it's like... for example, learning your partner was a pdf file, or a murderer, or something, and it just breaks everything so completely and utterly that one goes from love to indifference instantly.
edit: i just remembered now that i personally experienced this. we were sitting in a cinema watching a movie and there was a scene that was just very heartwarming so i teared up a little bit, and my partner at that time kept bugging me throughout the rest of the movie and even afterwards as to why i teared up.
i dunno why but it just broke something in me and i suddenly went from completely loving them to complete indifference. it was being hit with the realization of "oh... you never actually understood me as a person all this time", and all my feelings for them instantly evaporated. i broke up with them that night, felt a little bit bad just because it was an emotionally loaded situation, and was completely fine the next day. didn't even go through grief. it was literally like a light switch was just turned off. it only happened once. every other time i broke up with someone, it was a devastating experience.
For me, I learned early on to separate my grief for the loss of the person I thought I was with from the actual person that they revealed themselves to be. Yeah, I was sad that the relationship I thought I had was pulled out from under me and my expectations were destroyed, but the actual person standing in front of me suddenly felt like a stranger. That made it easier to flip the switch fairly instantly to "I don't feel anything for you" because the "you" in question is not the "you" I thought I was with. But, no, it wasn't a speedrun to acceptance because I was still devastated by the loss of what I thought I'd had. I just detached that from the person and realized that the person I was grieving never actually existed in the first place. They were a mask the actual, physical person was wearing to trick me into something that was all about them. In a way, it's like realizing that what they were doing was a variation of catfishing.
The third story is infuriating. If you feel bad for him bring him home cooked meals or babysit once in a while, don't pressure a woman into replacing his dead wife. No one should get into a relationship out of charity
This! Like they said, I'm more mad at the people around him than the dad! He's in very fresh grief trying to process how his whole life has changed. The impulse to just fill that gap is very reasonable. It's the people around him encouraging that emotion instead of trying to help him work through it that are messing up majorly. They are looking for a quick fix. That doesn't exist. This is just making things worse in the long run.
The gender essentialism of “I’ll replace my wife with another baby-maker because I see cis women as walking wombs” is so red a flag it’s burning my eyes
@@Xanderj89 It really is. It's more understandable for the dad since he's not only processing a loss with it's connecting grief. But also adjusting to a totally changed future. Having a moment of "I just need to find another and that will fix it" is a totally normal step to go through. The difference is that the people around him should have shown him how twisted that is, not encourage that line of thought!!
As a dad in a much more standard situation… that story felt like a bad fanfic, written by someone who has no experience with having kids whatsoever and just wanted to write an outrage piece.
Like, the reactions feel like straight from a horror movie (e.g. get out) because they are so absurdly the worst possible reactions. The coworker who set it up? The sympathetic mom? The guy himself? Are you kidding me?
Also, they only almost got into the key question: how do those logistics work? The single father of a
“NO ONE SHOULD GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP OUT OF CHARITY” 👏👏
"I never had a group of bros that I hung out with"
Honestly, that explains a lot. No wonder Shayne is so empathetic towards women. Cuz he had a lot of female friends growing up.
No it's just because he's a good person 😂. I go to an all boys school and I treat girls like people, as they should.
@@Qyubij Good for you. You want a gold star for being a decent person?
@@boomgirlbucko No, I'm just saying that you're wrong. Was that why you're being so combative?
I think it may be the reverse, he had female friends because he's empathetic towards women. Either way though this is exactly why having or not having female friends is something I always consider a green or red flag for men, I instinctively trust them less if they aren't (purely platonic) friends with any women, and I feel significantly more at ease with them if they are.
WE NEED SMOSH THEATER FOR THAT LAST STORY HOLYYYY. its giving Courtney's middle school diary but the all grown up version LOL
I also loved the Reenactments, like the one with the Spider, i wish they would do that again.😅
that would be absolutely epic. had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
"Take your pancakes out... it's Saturday morning." LMAO Angela starting the video strong 🤣😂
@Mohit-l7k Your not Mr beast
Waiting for this to become a t-shirt 😂
In Angela’s defense, German pancakes/dutch babies are cooked in the oven. And also people keep pancakes in warm in the oven sometimes too.
I already ate the pancakes😢
I too Love the show House M.D. 🙇🏽♀️
I've seen actual lesbian relationships that are less gay than that girl talking about her best friend 😂😂😂
Took quite a bit to not just yell "Yuri?!" to myself
Real toxic yuri hours in that last story. lmao
@AaraliRam she could've gotten away with crazy best friend until I heard "she has everything she needs already with me" and I was like this is a yuri plot
@@Hey-Its-Dingo very that, and her denial of it made it worse by saying people just couldn't feel their chemistry, baby that is not a defense
Listen, I don't even know what "yuri" means from these people.... but FOR SURE that chick is in love with the bride.
55:47 I just looked up the post, some info not mentioned includes
• Izzy wanted the sleepover to be at Em and Marcus's apartment.
• She pleads with Em to force Marcus to sleep on the couch to avoid disrupting their "girls night."
• Marcus insists Em can make her own decisions, trusting her to set boundaries.
• Marcus, despite not forcing Em to un-invite her from the wedding, feels a strong desire to do so.
• Izzy claims she bought a gift (expensive purse) instead of Marcus due to his financial struggles.
There was an update to the first story, here it is
I did it. I had a showdown with my former best friend via text and I confronted her about her nonexistent support when I went to her with my woes. I told her that she concentrated on the wrong issue. She should have been my shoulder to cry in. She should have shown up with wine, ice cream and a shovel but instead, she called me a bigger douche than my husband. She tried to gaslight me and I realized that she’s always been a good gaslighter so I interrupted her before she made me out to be the villain. I asked her bluntly, was (her husband’s name) married when you started sleeping together? You told us that he was married before, we all knew that but we all were under the impression that he was married and divorced before you two met but was he still married? Is that why you related to the mistress and felt sympathy for her? Because you were her? She didn’t answer me until next day to call me a bitter and jealous bitch. Wow!
This was the last one on one interaction with her I have decided. She’s been my friend since preschool but now we need to go our separate ways not only to save us from future hurt but also to save our memories together from hurt.
I talked to my husband too and asked him not to make the separation difficult and bitter that it ruins all the happiness we felt being together because we cannot think back on 1/3 of our lives with resentment. I asked him to take my dad’s offer (he offered to help him find a lease on an apartment and pay 1/2 years rent if he moved out without giving me problems. When I got home, he and his clothes were gone. He left an apology letter saying that he will always love me and never meant to hurt me.
So I have finally been able to cry my eyes out and it felt so good. I have been crying since I got home. I lost two of my closest people but this is what happens when we hit hardships, we see people’s true faces.
This is my update. I don’t know if anything major will happen to make more updates. It is time for me to move on.
Thank you so much for copy and pasting this I was just about to go on a hunt!❤
Np, happy to help
This is devastatingly sad. I hope she will be okay. 😢
Oh my god top tier comment
Damn that's really sad but it seems like she made the best possible decisions, and now she's able to properly process everything.
My cousin died because of the “all women should have kids” bs. She had very complicated health problems took her 5 years to recover, found love when she was in her early 30s everyone was so happy for her, she was pushed all her life to get married so they did very quickly, our family kept pushing her to get pregnant quickly because she is already old enough, but doctors told her if she stopped her medications she might be in a very dangerous situation, she got pregnant and had to stop medications, and died couple months later, I went to her funeral feeling disgusted from every single person there, everyone in family was talking about how it’s sad she didn’t get married yet and no one wants her because of her health issues, how she should have lied to her boyfriends and kept it to herself to keep them, how it’s sad she might die before getting married and have kids, they were saying all this bs in front of her. Telling us to have kids because it’s how it should be is the most disgusting thing ever, my mom my aunt and sister all had health complications and tumors after giving birth , and still are pressuring me to have kids too 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ Story 3 made my blood boil 🙂
I’m so sorry about your cousin, I hope you stay strong in your convictions to not have a kid. Your life is at risk. Listen to your doctor and most importantly listen to your body.
I’m so sorry you lost your cousin to this. Women should be allowed the agency to choose for ourselves.
@@chaoticsad5549 thank you! I do love kids I helped raise 2 but I just don’t want to have them for the health risks, still can’t even say that out loud. It’s sad we’re not even allowed to fear for our lives that it’s selfish to want to avoid health problems, it’s even more sad when it’s said by loved ones. Hope OP is doing well, I feel for her
@@BlockPal-cn4yq It's disgusting these people treat having kids as a duty or something a woman is made for and not for the experience of raising them can actually mean for a person, either man or woman. Because when it's about "fulfilling the life of a woman" it is always about pregnancy and not about raising a child, otherwise, if it was a dream of hers to have kids, perhaps she could have adopted one, knowing her health would be on the line.
@@aquele4virou3 totally agree 👏 people are missing the main point which is bringing a human to this world and raising them, it’s a huge responsibility that should be taken with love and compassion by both parents, not some duty that needs to be fulfilled
Male here. And as someone who doesn't want kids (and yes it makes dating harder, whatever) but nothing makes me more angry than people constantly telling me how selfish it is not wanting to have children. Why are people so invested in my stance on this I don't get it.
As someone who has always grown up wanting kids but who won't have them (not for fertility reasons, but mental health reasons), noone has the right to push you. Children are not a right nor are they for everyone. Not everyone have that parenting drive. Many who have that drive still should not have children. Having children should be an active choice, not the expected route you have to opt out of. Making the commitment to raise a child into a full adult, no matter what happens, is a HUGE thing. It should not be done as casually as it is in todays society!
It’s selfish to have a kid you don’t want
@@RobertPorco12 I agree. It's not gonna affect your life so why be up in arms about someone else's choice?
As a parent myself I don't understand why they care so much if someone doesn't want kids. It's your choice and they don't get to have an opinion on choices only you can make.
My problem is with people saying I'm not gonna find a person who doesn't have kids because of my age (28). I'm like well if I exist, surely he does too lol
I love how we finally got Shayne _actually_ using his psychology degree (he talks about it during story 4)
When my husband proposed to me, my "best friend's" response was, "So you're really going to choose him over me?". All I said was "yeeeeaahhh". She stormed off. Never saw her again.
That's wild! Sorry that happened to you! Im a guy, so I cant relate to that kind of friendship. Did she have feelings for you? Why is it even a choice? Being married doesn't mean you can't have a friend.
"She stormed off. I never saw her again."
But that's the way things go...in ALLLLLLLLLLBUQUERQUE
yikes, she really earned those air quotes
That’s wild to think you have to pick between marrying someone or having a best friend. Like?? You can have both? Getting married doesn’t mean you stop having friends. And while it is heartbreaking to be the single person while all your friends spend all their time with their SO instead, it’s not like getting married would take you any further away from your friends than before you got engaged.
The trash let itself out. She was never your friend--you were her friend.
Angela cutting her hair and frequently calling herself Squirrel Girl makes me think she was cast in a Marvel project as Squirrel Girl, and she can’t keep it to herself.
She would actually be the PERFECT pick for that role hahahaha
Reminds me of the arasha lying segment
Coming back to this comment when this just happens to be true lol
Or she will be Skrat in the Ice Age adaptation?
@@majintv24 Angela: "I got revenge by becoming your best friend's clingy best friend."
Also Angela: "I'm already 5 moves ahead of you mf, I BOOKED!!! I BOOKED!!!"
Mom, Dad, & the chaotic child is a great lineup for this one
Mom, dad, and the person living in their walls
Get out. Just leave, out. GET OUT NOW YOU LITTLE---
This is hilarious!
Exactly the vibes they bring hahah love em
Angela really embodying the kid hopped up on sugary cereal of Shayne’s Saturday morning stories
I love Shane’s comment on the last story “shove it” “I’d be like okay.”
the guy saying “I don’t want kids either” with a whole child and after his partner died during the birth…just sick
The last story continues to prove Trevor right.. the most innocuous titles always have the most insane stories behind them.
I was thinking that as well (but thought Shayne said it). It seems to be a pattern, for sure!
Everytime I hear someone say ''you don't want kids? you'll change your mind'', I want to say the same thing to someone who does want kids. ''Oh you want kids? You'll change your mind'', ''You'll regret having them when you're older''. Just to show how messed up that mindset is.
edit: just to be clear - I would say these things back to those who would claim I'd change my mind, etc. Would not say that to those respecting my own choices, obviously.
Cause the reality is that is more likely than us changing our minds on having kids. There are studies in this!
My mom kept telling me that, even now even though i’m a transguy and know i can’t afford money (and time) to grow and raise a kid. It’s more than just being pregnant and giving birth, a baby is going to be another human adult. Parents treat the child like they’re a material object when they’re a whole other human being, not an accessory. and it looks like most of those same people don’t actually raise their kids or traumatize them so much that it affects those child’s relationships in the future when they’re adults.
it’s not a matter of changing mind it’s a matter of there are Billions of humans on this earth who all have different lives, so why should they be limited to 1 thing to “define” them.
@@cryptiddyStudies? Care to show the scientific papers on that that have been proven by people of the field? Because forcing a sexist view on someone just because you think it’s right does not justify harassing a woman to do something she does not want to do.
@@PocketKanin No, they meant that the studies show that it's more likely for a parent to regret having kids, than a child free person regret not becoming a parent. I haven't seen the studies but I can confirm with some parents I know lol
Even if some women change their minds, it doesn't change the fact that we are allowed to make that decision now. How invalidating to be all "Yes, you are an adult, but you aren't allowed to make life defining decisions for yourself. Let us make that for you."
Guys it’s Roe/Marcus’s wedding too, not just M’s, and as much as Izzy seems to be making M miserable, it sounds like she has actively sabotaged Marcus in the past. He also gets to have a say in all the wedding stuff, but Izzy is only contacting M bc she considers Marcus less important as a person and by extension she thinks he should be a less important relationship to M than her 1:09:11
Because these are recorded ahead of release, I wanted to check on the last story to see if there was an update. While I didn’t find one, I did find more explanation of “Izzy taking credit for the gift that Roe bought for Em for her birthday”.
It’s stated that it was a very nice purse that Em had eyed up during an outing with Roe, which he saved up for and bought, but Izzy claimed she bought it as a joke because “he was too poor to buy it”.
Also, it sounds like Izzy is still expected to be at the wedding as Roe doesn’t want to ask or force that issue, it sounds like he’s avoiding adding more to the stress of Em. The whole last story is WILD.
Izzy is INSANE😮💨 who jokes like that? It’s so crazy and condescending. She sounds insufferable.
‘On Wednesdays, we wear pink’ vibes
@@dcarter455 with how much her comments just exude pompous rich kid it’s definitely suffocating.
Im like Angela and Amanda, i need the update. People need to find the best man and ask him for updates when the cake goes down, omg can you imagine if Izzy goes and stands up like “Im against this matrimony”? she is totally making everything about herself. This wedding gonna be messy AF. Im here for it 🫖
Izzy absolutely sees Em as her lover or her pet, but not her BFF. I buy her the nice things, I take her to the fancy restaurants, I take her to extravagant vacations. The original complaint was that Em finally stood up for herself and Izzy was trying to get validation to probably manipulate Em with.
The mother who is trying force her daughter into being a parent is the one who lacks empathy. Not the daughter who was lied to and trying to being forced into a role as a replacement. Gross all around
P😊😊
Yeah that "how did I raise a daughter without empathy" quote is wild. Probably because you don't have empathy, "mom" 🧐
I love the conspiracy theory vibe of this video, Angela and Amanda coming up with the whackiest theories and Shayne trying to wrangle them in is the funniest dynamic.
For all the young women in the comments who have been told they would change their mind about having kids. No, you probably won't. I'm 45, still waiting for those maternal feelings to kick in. Many of my friends are the same. If you want kids, great, but lots of people don't. Also a LOT of people with kids will come out and privately tell you they are jealous of you because they regret having them. So if you're not sure, DON'T.
52:44 no the moms still a villian. Let’s not give her grace just cause she’s old. She’s calling her daughter in law out in front of her family. She’s still responsible for how she acts. She’s a villain
Yes, it's another bad take from amanda with double standards when it comes to women and men. She can't excuse the mom because that's how she was raised and blame the husband when he was raised like that to. They are both wrong.
I agree with you. The only thing that bugs me Is when people put a lot More responsability on the parents than the actual person. its his (the husband) job to put his shit together, to set boundaries, to talk with their parents in the first stages of his relationship with his now wife about how his parents should not have any say in how they divide labor. He Is negligently letting his mom have an opinion when she should not. She can think however she wants, but HE HAS TO ACT ACCORDINGLY, BY NOT LETTING THEM STAY IN THEIR HOUSE, or other options in cause dialogue doesn't work, cause I would bet that is not the first time those comments have risen.
And I have seen that Shayne always tend to put more blame on the parent (specially a woman, a mom) than on the partner (a son usually).
The mom Is a villain, yes, but the blame Is on the husband 100%. He owes her wife respecting the things they have already agreed on. So I actually took amanda's comment as a way to push the conversation to that focus.
@Humberto-ib1qm Imo the husband is still worse off to say that in front of his kids. To tell your wife "i wish you were more of a woman" in front of your kids???? Beyond messed up. He's so dead wrong especially when she makes the money because of his poor decisions. The mom however is yes still in the wrong no matter what but to see your partner being demeaned and you dont stand up for them.....
@@deathdragoncat i agree that's messed up, but the mom and husband are on same level off bad, but it's at a point where it even doesn't matter who's the worse both big assholes. What's worse is i get the feeling that mom is probably try to shove that backwards mentality to her grandchildren when op isn't around and the father just acept it, hope not tho.
Yeah sometimes the, “everyone has trauma” goes a little far. 😂
As soneone whose parents divorce was an absolute shock because they never fought or said a bad word about each other, PLEASE communicate with your children in an age-appropriate way. The divorce was incredibly traumatizing simply by how blindsided I felt.
Shayne going on a psychology rant and Amanda and Angela immediately gaslighting him was perfect lol
That last story, originally when they were talking about gluten free options I *immediately* went, "Yeah, that's fair, I'd want to know if the cake was going to be gluten free too," but... No, it's because they don't like chocolate??? That's wild to me. I don't like chocolate either, but that was wild
yeah why do you need to "prepare yourself" lolol just don't eat it also even if it were an allergy just ask (the kitchen, not the bride) on the day of and again....don't eat it
In the last one I've noticed no one that I've seen so far has made the point that Izzy seems to be treating M (or Em I don't know I wasn't there) in such a weird maniplulative way. The main reason I think this is that Izzy first lied about M saying "shove it" therefore building the narrative that she is the bad guy who got agressive over a question about the flavor of a cake. She then claims M is her "BFF" and "wouldn't use her real name" to try and prove that M would not sign off on the post (which we have no reason not to believe as Izzy has been lying since the start of her post). It is also important to remember that the only reason he could have made this post is for an ego boost or to use the comments as "evidence" that she is the one who is moral and good in her and M's "friendship". Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
Yeah they did not go into Izzy as much as they should have. She sounds more than ridiculous. How smosh came in the end and said the fiancee may be an AH too is wild.
@@lucaleone4331 Ironically, I think that Amanda and Angela came to that conclusion in a way that's similar to the friend in the first story with the mistress. Izzy is clearly an awful person, but they can empathize with her situation to an extent. I noticed that it was only Shayne that drew a line at the parents comment and sorta remained steadfast in labeling her the clear worst person in the story.
Yeah their take on this makes me think their single and bitter 😂😂😂😂 the dude was not the asshole and M sounds meek.
@@lucaleone4331oh thank you for telling,I can stop watching now,heh
Izzy is full of shit
I don't agree with the conclusion where M is one
@@lucaleone4331 if em was so pissed about the shit izzy was doing, why not have em do it? he didnt need to defend his wife like a dumbass. the fiancee is an asshole because of how he treated izzy as well.
My paternal grandmother was illiterate for her entire life. And it wasn’t because she was stupid or incompetent or didn’t want to learn. In fact, she wanted nothing more as a child than to go to school. She was prohibited from going to school by her mother. Whenever she expressed the desire to go to school her mother would beat her. Her mother did this because it wasn’t a woman’s place to be educated or be anything more than a servant to her family. It was tradition. My grandmother was robbed of the chance for an education because of tradition. WELL, FUCK TRADITION! What kills me is is that it was he mother who did this to her. Her mother, who was pigeonholed into a life of subservience, wanted her and her sister to have the same exact life as she had rather than wanting a better life for her daughters. Not that an education makes a person’s life better, but the ability to at least be able to read opens up a far greater world to you. At least my grandmother was able to break the cycle and ensure her daughters went to school, for what it was worth.
My grandmother, in spite of her illiteracy, became a midwife. I believe she was the only midwife in the village. When my grandfather was sent off to war, my grandmother was heavily pregnant with their third child. When the day came for her to give birth, she delivered my uncle all by herself. Who was she gonna call to help deliver her baby? A midwife? She was the midwife! Who who better to deliver her child than herself? No doctor, no nurses, no epidural. Just her, by herself. It was only after she gave birth that she thought to call for her sister to help out a little. My grandmother was the toughest person I’ve ever known. She was a true battleaxe and I say that in the most loving and respectful way.
My grandma was also refused an education due to being a woman. Once she was an adult, she took what she wanted for herself. She went into IT and graduated with top grades before starting as a manager at a big hotel chain. She gave decades of her life to a man who could neither manage his money nor his downstairs department but divorced him in her 70s, keeping the respect of all her children and their family.
She's my idol.
My grandpa spread lies about her and turned the older generations against her, but he'll die lonely while she's surrounded by loved ones♡
The thing is, it backfires on men too when we arrange responsibilities this way too. I've seen a few old men now whose wives have died and who now unhappily live in absolute squalor and have no idea how to cook for themselves.
my grandma had to drop out of school at 15 to get married and provide for her husband and have kids . She's also illiterate, but wicked smart. She makes sure myself and her other grandkids (all girls!) prioritize school over everything and loves hearing about what we learn :)
An absolute hero!!!💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
That last one, phew. "Izzy" sounds worse and worse and worse the more she talks. The obsessiveness, the possessiveness, the classism and the money snobbery, the apparent blind conviction that "only I can give her what she needs," the bizarre remarks about their supposed "chemistry," all of it is wild. It's giving something a lot closer to stalker vibes than bestie vibes. It honestly seems like "Marcus" had her clocked, and knew all he had to do was bark back just enough to get her running her mouth, and DAMN.
Izzy is in love with Em and Marcus 100% knows it
She's so Peach Salinger from "you" tbh
Believe dudes know when there is something weird going on. No matter if it’s male best friend or female best friend.
The third story is SO SAD omg. It's clear he wasn't ready to date, just chose to date her because she reminded him of his fiancee and he misses her. That is just so sad but definitely not a situation OP should continue to be in
Third story is making me SEETHE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Not even due to the unstable/grieving guy who lied and manipulated her, but the fact that HER OWN MOTHER and so called friend are guilt tripping her for having the slightest boundary
Woman: “I do not want kids or to be a mother”
Manipulative male: “I should try to trick her into mothering my child”
WHAT!?
Throw in a few jokes and it would be a sitcom plot or a Ben Stiller movie.
But, honestly, I agree. Wtf? How does anyone go into something with that sort of lie and think it's going to work out. Is it like, "Aha! I tricked you! I really do have a kid! And now that we're already dating, you can't leave! Those are the rules." I'll chalk it up to the guy being in grief and not thinking clearly (though it's still crazy), but the other people in the story (other than OP) are just baffling.
People think woman will see baby and the 0 in her binary coding will flip to 1 and she will become Mother
@@johnplaysgames3120nah men do this on a less extreme scale all the time. It’s free bird theory. Basically some men enjoy making a woman change for them. They seek out women that they’re attracted to, but that don’t actually fit what they want in a partner, and they try to manipulate them into being their ideal partner. Ballerina farm and jonah hill are both recent examples.
@@annabelledrake2027women do it too though lmao. the whole “i can fix him” thing.
some people in general start dating someone with intent to mold them into the “ideal partner”
@@reckless_herb yes but women and men often act the way they do for different reasons. we’re raised differently and have different influences from society. When women do it, it’s often because they’ve been told that it’s their responsibility to take care of men and teach them to be better. It’s not something they seek out or want to have to do. When men do it, it seems a lot more about control. It’s much less common for a woman to convince her husband to leave his career ambitions behind to raise children than it is for a man to do that to his wife. Many men seem to fantasize about taking an ambitious woman and turning her into a stay at home mom/wife, even if that was not what she originally wanted. It’s something they literally brag about.
It’s not all men, but enough of them for it to be a recognizable pattern.
idk why but “It’s chocolate, shove it!” reminds me of “It’s called a calzone, kid, grow up!”
i’m so glad i wasn’t the only one thinking this, i immediately went searching in the comments to see if anyone else had the same idea so thank you for saying it lmao
The wedding story I kind of get it. Saying "mentally prepare myself" is never followed by good feelings, ya know? Emergency sirens are never going on for happy news...
35F childfree here, married to a wonderful man who had a vasectomy years before we even met. We're often being told we'd make good parents, but it falls on deaf ears at this point because our minds are firmly made up. I have never had maternal instincts. The only thing that even remotely gives me 'baby' fever is kittens and puppies.
Anyway, we've gotten used to responding to these comments with something along the lines of 'Maybe, but we aren't willing to risk a kid's wellbeing and happiness if we decide we don't want it. Kids aren't mattresses, there's no 30 day return policy.
Absolutely no one has the right to determine your worth as a woman, especially if you choose not to be a mother! You don't need maternal instincts to be a nurse, or any other profession for that matter.
Sorry not sorry for the rant. This subject gets me pretty fired up.
The mistress absolutely does not deserve an explanation. As Smosh said, OP's friend is the worst person.
omg FR, OP’s friend is genuinely awful for trying to force OP into thinking that mistress deserves any amount of respect when it’s clear mistress doesn’t respect her. she should find out all on her own & get her karma 🤭
ALSO there WAS an update that Smosh missed; OP’s friend WAS the mistress of her husband and his previous wife’s relationship
Yeah, OP posted an update where she point blank asked “Was your husband married when you started sleeping with him?” and the friend didn't answer for a day and when she did finally respond she just called OP a jealous bitch
As I like to say “WRONG AUDIENCE.” Whether her friend can empathize or not, she should be supportive of her friend, not moralizing the situation because of her own experiences.
Smosh is a person?
For that last story I hope to GOD that Izzy doesn't go to the wedding because she sounds SO exhausting. Hell I'd say she's borderline co-dependent because holy crap just let your friend enjoy her relationship without you breathing down her neck!
Her comments that she makes towards her and her friends relationship does very much sound codependent and bordering on possessive behavior. I understand wanting to hang out with friends time to time especially if they haven’t met up in a while but is this a whole wedding thing. She’s definitely not gonna have much time (esp since it sounds like she’s stressing out big time) so to essentially fight over that is a waste of time. Just talk to her as see if she has any free time if she so badly wants to hang out with her more often.
41:00 when those studies were looked into more, it supported the theory that those who enjoy a glass of red wine every night are more likely to be of a higher socioeconomic status and/or have access to better healthcare and preventative treatment/medication.
Cancelling a roomate's fav TV show sounds like a plot someone in a cartoon would do to a person they disliked.
it sounds like something out of Regular Show, Rigby would do that to Mordecai cuz he was watching a tv show to impress Margaret 💀
@@NagaFTW so real
I mean I could also see Em just totally not wanting to deal with Izzy anymore and not having the energy to meet her directly.
To go a step further, if Em has really been trying her best to compromise for all these months, she could be a people pleaser, and maybe knows that her resolve might fold in a confrontation.
Izzy was trying to butt into Em AND Marcus’ wedding, he’s probably feeling offended on his own behalf too.
Yeah she's not at all an AH for defending his wife in a stressful time. It's very much his wedding too
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. I've known people like Izzy, and not only can they be exhausting to deal with, they tend to attach themselves to people pleasers who can't bring themselves to set clear boundaries. Then they take and take and take until the people pleaser finally hits a breaking point. Wouldn't be surprised if Em's hit that breaking point, but also still lacks the nerve to do the confrontation herself.
That is exactly the what I think is happening, apart from leaving out other details in the first post, she claims to be best friend with both of them & having great communication with him while she actively hates him. She is using him in the first post to seem like the bride was irrational. She did a 180 in both tone & facts.
Also, I generally agree that couples should deal with their side of messy people but couples have every right & responsibility to not only stand by but to stand up to for their significant other infront of someone thats hurting them.
the second shayne said the boyfriend made a comment and not Em I immediately got people pleaser vibes from Em.
I’ve been a people pleaser all my life and have very often asked my boyfriend to help me handle stressful situations. I quite literally cannot do it myself in some cases, especially since I’m also autistic
Exactly. And I know they were saying “well where is Em’s input?”
Probably there, just not out in public 🤷 if Em did signed off on the first post (I’m guessing she did and Izzy’s in denial) I imagine Marcus is communicating the cliff notes to Em and giving her the play-by-play.
The more I think it over, the more I believe that Izzy doesn’t actually see Em as a friend. The way Izzy talks about Em isn’t like she’s describing losing a friend, she’s describing losing her favorite doll or stuffed animal: “we can’t have sleepovers and cuddles” etc.
To her, Marcus isn’t taking away her BFF, he’s taking away her favorite toy.
My mom is 70, I'm 49. My dad's mom was very traditional and had a rule that the men ate first. They were hard working and needed the food more. My hero mom would NOT let that happen! We, as little kids were hurried to the table, ordered to find a seat, and if she was feeling especially rebellious, she would make up our plates during the prayer! My grandma was very much a victim of society. She was trapped, and would talk about the things she wanted to do after grandpa died. She never got the chance. She developed dementia and died first.
Yo, that’s so sad tho. To have all those wishes and plans for your life, but you have to wait for someone else to die first? And then you _don’t_ get to do anything?? Big bummer.
Reminds me of my Aunt whose in her 70's now, telling me about how her step dad (my dad's dad) used to SA her and beat my grandma growing up. My grandma told her that they both needed to keep quiet and play happy family because my dad having a good relationship with his father was apparently more important. Now that secret is my burden to bare, one silver lining is that POS croaked long before I was born.
Dude.
I mean in my house, everyone waited to eat until everyone was seated. And we all made our own plates as soon as we were old enough. Men made their plates first, as they usually eat the most, then mom, because she put in the work to make the food, then the kids.
I grew up like that, my step dad got served 1st and got all the good meat etc us kids were served up last n got whatever meat the adults didn't want. As a mother my kids are feed first always and get 1st choice of all foods, when my parents come to mine they expect to be served as they sit and wait, so I serve them....after my 4 children and partner are served
5:17 hey if the mistress wants to be with an unfaithful man, then the mistress can learn that she's not immune to his lies
That story of the wife telling the husband he wouldn't be able to support the family on his income alone is a perfect example of how the patriarchy hurts men too. His mom was placing all these arbitrary expectations on him and because of his lifestyle, he feels ashamed for not meeting those goals that someone else has placed on him.
"take your pancakes out it's Saturday morning" lol we love Angela the 'bad at sayings' queen
I want this on a shirt, honestly
Tho I will say that my mom would make extra pancake batter to make actual pancakes another day, so it does resonate a tad
Get out your celery sticks and OJ, gamers
Okay for the last story, I think her fiancé is standing up for her bc he KNOWS that Em is exhausted from Izzy’s behavior, BUT she doesn’t want to say these things herself bc she DOES value their friendship..she’s probably hoping things can settle & Izzy will chill out eventually so they can still be close. I understand Izzy feeling protective & possessive, I was like that w my best friends when I was younger (but I also have bpd soo 😂) I think it’s sad all around & Izzy feels threatened & abandoned, which obviously doesn’t make anything she’s doing okay but makes it make a little more sense. As for the wedding itself, I think some girls imagine planning things like that w their bestie, like how we brainstormed baby names at some point, & feels entitled to that experience w her, which IS problematic but again, I can understand how she feels that way. The fiancé is just tired of her bullshit regardless of motive, & tired of watching Izzy be belittle & badgered. Sad all around really
52:44 I have to disagree with Amanda here. It’s the mom’s responsibility to learn about the new version of the world. She is talking about a view that has been outdated for 25+ years. It does make sense why she might think that way. But her expression of this is the true problem
This might be controversial but the white girl getting mad because her non-white friend got chosen for something over her is more common than people realize. It's happenee to me more times than i care to talk about and I've seen it happen to other Black and brown people.
Oh, that is a layer I didn't clock. That is for sure a possible extra "why did they pick them?" bias that might be involved!
omg i didn't even realize that part... good catch!
Also the brown friend taking role of support bcus the world tells the white friend she's the hot one happens all too often.
Especially if they’re in a predominantly white area. Which I think I they might be. It’s very telling that op says her friend is objectively prettier. It feels like op has been surrounded by white people her whole life and fed this bs constantly.
@@goldernbtatenunit’s reminds me of the black best friend trope in television. Like the white best friend is the main character and her brown/black friend is just the side kick to HER life. I forgot where I read this but someone put it best “in (Hollywood) movies the non-white (along with LGBT characters) were firsts the villains, then, sidekicks/ best friend to the white protagonist and only in recent years the non-white (LGBT) characters are now written to be the main characters of their own story.
Ex Lied About Having A Child:
... I 100% agree dad needs time to heal, but idk if he realises the bad situation he could be putting his child into. (Let me preface this by saying that I in NO way think OP would be this type of person).
As a 30 year old woman that's parents divorced when I was 1-2 years old, my mom started dating my step dad shortly after... There is nothing worse (saying, I know there is actually worse things) than growing up in a home where you are not wanted. My step dad did want kids, but did NOT want MY dads child, and those feelings of not wanting a certain child are not easy to hide.
He should be looking for someone that wants kids when the time is right, kids are aware as they get older when they're not wanted or liked even if the person plasters a smile on their face, they overhear things, get lashed out at and treated poorly (more obvious when the parent has their own bio-children from my experience but still..) and that can do some real damage on that child's self esteem and self worth.
Its pretty common for men to not want the children of another man. Some men do, and they really step up, but even if they have their own kids with a woman who has children with a previous man (whether theyre seperated or hes passed away) the new man will often treat his children better, even just slightly, because theyre *his* kids, whereas the others arent.
I love how Angela and Amanda instantly entered into a psychic bit about how Wine decreases cancer risk and it was so funny!
Of all the "sciency" examples he could've chosen 😂
He was spot on though. Alcohol is carcinogenic
1:18:23 ngl i thought Shane was gonna say "but this takes the cake" IT WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT
in regards to the reddit story abt op saying her husband is too broke to be sexist, she is 10000% right. if a man wants to have a traditional stay at home wife/mother, then he needs to be a traditional sole provider for the household. if you do not fall in that category, then you have no say on wanting a traditional wife if you’re not making enough money in being a traditional husband.
That’s something I don’t think purveyors of this world view are self-aware about: this worldview is INCREDIBLY privileged and classist.
Aside from that, his parents started out at another time, economy was different. Maybe in another country too? Or at least living another country‘s ways. Why should HIS take priority vs her family history? Why should she not work, and if he dies, she’s stuck in a much worse financial situation, or if he cheats and divorces her, she’s screwed. She is not asking him to take on the house and children duties, not working outside the home because he makes less. Would he want his daughters to be in a subservient situation ?
My husband works on a boat and he is gone most days out of the month. He works around the clock, he is the sole provider for our household as we have young kids and it is best for our family for me to be a stay at home mom, while it is my job to take care of the house, kids and pets while he is away... He still helps me when he is home, if I'm cooking he tends to our kids, if laundry is getting overwhelming he helps fold while I put them away. While everyone deserves a break now and then, marriage is always meant to be a partnership no one person should be expected to carry the load on their own while the other gets waited on hand and foot regardless of gender.
@@jessicastorer8127ALL OF THIS!
Marriage is a partnership, and you're in this together. The whole thing was working for the OP in that story until the MiL got her two cents worth in, whilst the OP was away at work and couldn't speak out for herself, mind you.
It's this kind of thing that causes people to go low or no contact with parents or inlaws.
I feel like people who don't want kids often understand the responsibility of raising a child more than a lot of people who have or want children. If you're choosing to go against the grain of society, you've probably thought it through
@@simplerrors11
Literally the best parenting advice and takes I ever seen came from people who don't want nor have kids.
Because unlike the emotionally unstable parents, these people are actually mature and responsible enough to not accidentally have something they don't want.
It's sad, really. You have to be completely irresponsible to end up with the most responsible job... sadly, most parents don't gain responsibility and maturity after they have children.
In fact, some get worse.
When people would ask why I didn’t want kids I would explain all of the responsibilities that came with having a kid and how it would affect the life I actually wanted. I would also add that I was “good with kids” because I didn’t have any. It’s easy to be patient and fun when you only have to do it every once in a while. Most people wouldn’t push once they realized it was something I actually thought thru and understood. But if they did push, I would ask them why they would want a child born to a person who didn’t want them. And I would stress how weird that is. That would always make them shut up.
Amanda and Angela sometimes getting the events of the stories wrong and they correct each other but with wrong information vice versa is funnyyyy
Off topic but 27:00, shanes socks and shoes caught me off guard 😭
💀
“You’re too broke to be sexist” is a great line.
42:49 the way i screamed “VERONICA MARS”. teenage detective. it can only be one person. i live for that show 😭
Saaaaaaaame, %100
Screaming crying throwing up while searching for a single comment about my fav show. Guess it’s time for another rewatch!
I literally thought to myself ‘lmao what if it’s Veronica Mars’ and I didn’t actually expect to be RIGHT??!! That show is EASILY in my top 5, if not top 3 favourite shows - my heart LEAPT when Shayne gave the clue 😭🥹
All 3 seasons and the movie were great and it's such a shame that nothing else came out after that.
lol same
***turns volume down***
Real
I cant turn my volume lower and it still hurt my ears
I legit snorted! :)
I just opened this video what is to come lol
Thanks for the heads up
Em didn't tell Marcus not to talk to Izzy. Izzy said that that's what she suspected but that was never actually said. Also, only Izzy said that she was Em's best friend. I have a feeling that that's not the case.
She also stated that she and Marcus have good communication at first.
I like how Shayne is now the de-facto father figure reader of Reddit Stories with look of disapproval/amazement of shenanigans included 😂.
Hot take: Marcus fought that fight so that Em didn't have to during wedding planning. He is not the AH in any way
True. Can't relate to the bride being a doormat. It's sad
i agree but online? text her, man rather than airing out her shit online (obviously izzy is still the actual asshole though)
0:28 when a toddler tells you about their day and waits for your response like you could understand what they were saying.
I love how in the last story, I went to check out the original post by Izzy and despite omitting just about everything in the story the comments had her clocked 100%.
The comments absolutely hated her, so many YTA and calling her, whiny, childish, annoying, exhausting, spoiled, and likely having more demands than just the cake flavor. They were ruthlessssss
The "siblings home on Spring break" vibes are strong here.
It's giving spam
I'd be willing to bet the husband misrepresented the status of his marriage to Mistress too.
Seen a lot of stories like this where if you get the Mistresses side it comes out that the husband painted it like he's "basically" already divorced, but he's just letting his Ex-wife stay in "his" house out of pity.
48:40 She said the truth, though. If you're rich you at least have some excuse for saying that you can provide for your family, but your wife is also working to sustain a family and you expect her to do all the work? She's better than me, I would have said something much worse.
@@raymax_1071
I would've gave him 30 minutes to come up with something to tell his mother off and a reason as to why I shouldn't just take the kids and leave him right then.
If he wants to be a "traditional" "man" then he can let mommy cook, clean and pay for him. I'd be single forever before I'd even begin to let my children thinks that's how anybody should be, let alone get away with.
Leave that situation lol he is cowering behind his mom while talking about being a man of the house lol bruh
Shane kicking out his loafers and screaming KNOCK IT OFF SHOVE IT GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND SHUTUP killed me 😂😂😂😂😂