the privilege of space: new york apartments, roommates, and third spaces
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- hi everyone, thanks for watching!
This was a very ramble-y recap of some of my thoughts on space in the context of new york luxury apartments, reset vlogs, roommates, and third spaces. If you like video essays (including micro-essays like this!) then subscribe. :)
Have a good holiday season and new year!
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3:00
“In more ways than one”
Girl that has me wheezing! 😭💗
Literally same. If i could subscribe twice I wouldve in that moment FOR SURE. lol
5:01
I think having your own space, somewhere you can feel safe, and truly be yourself is one of the most important things someone can have access to. I truly believe it is a human right, and not some thing that should be considered a luxury. Everyone deserves access to a home. I was homeless for a few years. I got kicked out at 18, because my parents were divorcing, and had their own stuff going on.
It was so hard for me to get on my own feet, because I didn’t have access to a space. I didn’t have somewhere to shower. I didn’t have somewhere to store food, so I had to eat out every day. (I often starved. Remember one time being so hungry, that there was a to go container on the side of the road and I looked inside it and there was a piece of bread that I ate. ) I didn’t have somewhere to get a good nights rest before work. I didn’t have any thing.
I’m honestly really grateful, because I ended up getting a section 8. Which has allowed me, to start my own business. Also only charge me 1/3 of my income for rent, and cover the rest. Which is a blessing. Especially in this economy. It’s allowing me, to use other money I have, to invest in my business. (that money actually then counts as a business write off too which is great)
I’ve been able to take making absolutely no money, after losing my job that I got after getting housed(bc of COVID 19). To making now 10k a yr which is almost nothing, but I don’t have to pay anything to rent right now, and I just have to pay my utilities. But, the previous year I made 4K. So I’ve doubled my income. I’m also on track too make 16-7k this year. So my plan is to continue to push, and if I continue to double my income, or almost double it every year, I will finally be truly financially independent.
None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t had section 8. I would be focused still on how to get access to food, had a shower, and all the other things I mentioned.
I know I also wanted to add, this is why the Obama phone program is so important that we have in the US. It has allowed me to have access to the Internet, which is allowed me to start my business where I sell restored vintage Fashion dolls , toys and custom dolls.
I think the US needs to start moving away from our individualistic culture, and realize, that we have to help out our fellow man. That is the only way to bring up our whole society.
6:07
I also think like you mentioned, having an extra room is a great benefit for people. Especially, since so many people have a side hustle now, or have some sort of secondary income. That room then counts as a business write off, since you can count as an office. That’s what my boyfriend does, since he sells his art and has a two bedroom.
It also gives you more room to breathe, since you can use one room as a storage.
I don’t have a two bedroom, but what I did was I almost never have people over wise, I turned my bedroom into my art room where I work, and I actually sleep in my living room , as my bedroom. I think that separate place that I can go and work, definitely makes a difference. Since so many people are working from home, I definitely could see how that could be a benefit for many people.
Even for people who are married, and have children. I feel like it’s even more of a benefit, since they have a space where they can go and relax, take a breather, and maybe get some thing done without the kids , partner , etc being in their face. For me I definitely like having my bedroom as my art room, since I can actually shut the door and my cat won’t come in and bug me.
Wow this is an amazing comment thank you so much for sharing! I don’t know what to write that surmounts to all you’ve said. What you wrote about section 8 is so important. I wonder if you’ve ever seen Dutch’s (Dutchdeccc) content on TikTok? He often talks about affordable housing in New York City.
Yep. I have multiple roommates and am just in my bedroom all day & night. There is a living room but it's small and not conducive to hanging out there. Just surrounded by my storage furniture (bookshelves, dresser, etc.).
I just went to Boston last month (from Houston), gorgeous city and I love how *generally* walkable it is but my wallet could NEVER. I ended up staying with a friend in a small town just inside of CT from MA, which was lovely! And as much as I love watching those reset videos and thought of them while thinking about getting a nice place in Boston and going to Harvard or MIT and being "that girl", at the end of the day I came back a cozy 3 bedroom condo in the middle of the woods in some hill country, and I thought "being 'that girl' in a loud, angry, bustling city cannot compare to the simple, wide-open beauty of all of this". not to mention having one of those nice apartments (even with with extra space) is still confined to those living quarters and you're boxed in by others spaces. Idek I am rambling as well xD
Felt. I’m constantly warring between wanting to be a city girl or someone who lives quietly in nature. Boston is so fun but not enough green space imo
confess I had a very hard time with how expensive Boston is and then went through a lot of savings living there. But I paid for space because I had dogs. I hate that you guys cannot even have pets to afford to live. What a dystopia. Now I am older, living in an ancient suburb with far too much space.
I moved in my with bf this year after 2 years of living in a shared house. We had a communal space that was very social and I actually ended up using it probably more than anyone. I really liked my roommates and we go on well, but you never truly feel as relaxed or at ease as I do now my flat is just mine and my bfs
Yes this is exactly how I feel. I have really special memories with my roommates in our living room but it’s next level to have the whole space to myself
I saw the video in the recommendations. very interesting topic, and cool video, I really liked it, good luck in developing the channel!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts for us to relate. I trully related and felt heard in mannyyy ways.
Hi! Just had this video pop up on my feed, so I'm new to this channel. Figured it's worth chiming in on my experiences living in a couple different cities over the last 7 years in the US.
I went to college in Boston, so it's fun to also hear about your experiences living there! Due to graduating in 2020 and jobs and cost of living, I ended up moving in with my partner at his parents' place in San Jose, CA. And while I was soo grateful to have the privilege to live rent free for a while and pay off my loans....my god the transition to a car dependant city was so rough and straight up depressing. I didn't really think about all the access I had to third spaces when I lived in Boston. like yeah I had 3 other roommates and a dingy little apartment, but I didn't think about how the ability to get around independently helped my mental health so much, until I didn't have it anymore.
To get to the closest library in San Jose, it's a 40 min walk with like no transit options, and driving is a pain and extremely expensive (between jobs right now and I literally can't afford to transfer insurance and change the plates on our car, so I'm basically forced to stay home rn). I hate the forced burden of having to own a car, and we were already lucky enough to be given a car by my partner's parents. But given it's age, its just a liability waiting to happen. the fuel inefficiency alone from an older model already costs us more 😭
I also lived in the Denver metro area for a few years before recently moving back in with my in-laws (bc we couldn't make ends meet despite us both working full-time 🙃🙃). me and my partner were finally able to get our first apartment together when we lived in Denver!! it felt like such a big accomplishment! the benefit from having your own space really cannot be understated, even in a car dependent area like Denver. Just to have the privilege to not be anxious about doing dishes immediately after cooking already frees up so much mental space for me lmao 😂
Honestly it would be such a dream to be able to afford living in a city where we don't need a car again. tbh I thought maybe I was seeing my time in Boston with a bit of nostalgia and rose-tinted lenses, but I visited last May and... nah. it was so nice. there were so many fun little events to get to, which also makes it easier to build community and make connections, and that's personally important to me as someone who has been trying to get into the visual arts professional world.
Now knowing what I know about living in a car dependent city, and what it's like to live on our own, I'm really gonna try an make an effort here to find the third spaces I can once I have the financial ability to, and actively seek out events and spaces that could help me build community, even if they're a little more limited or harder to access in SJ. not having our own space at home anymore after knowing what it's like to be on our own is a rough transition, but at least I don't have to feel as bad about feeling isolated here, when the infrastructure in suburb hell is literally set up to make you feel that way (there's literally no sidewalks for me to walk my dog on by the houses here lmao, let alone dog parks)
I rarely comment on videos, so forgive me for the long one here, but you deserve the algorithm boost : ) best of luck with your channel
Thank you for sharing this!! What you said about dishes is so true and something I actually think about a lot😭 Best of luck to you and your partner! I hope you find some cool third spaces
i rly like how ramble-y this video was bc it exactly matches my typical trail of consciousness lol
love how your content has been thus far. shoutouts to the algo
Curious about if you have any thoughts about the specifics of how couples choose to share space. Especially after discovering how life changing it has been for you to have space that's entirely yours.
This is a great question! A close friend of mine moved in with her bf about a year ago. It worked really well because they are both pretty level headed people. They also have work schedules that are on different cadences, so they are still able to have alone time within their space. However, this is clearly not the same as having an entire space to yourself. I lived with my best friend for two years and I think it only worked for us because we weren't friends before being roommates. I know friends and couples aren't the same thing but I do think moving in with a loved one can be very challenging especially based on how you were raised!
@@cassieperryy Thanks for your answer. I think it's interesting to try to imagine what floor plans could look like in the future if this subject was explored more. Seems like a lot of thought is put into how cities could be designed to be more people friendly, but there doesn't seem to be much discussion of reconsidering what we expect shared housing to look like. Glad you got to experience a space of your own. I think you describe the experience well, but I can't imagine understanding some of the points you raised without having experienced it for myself
This is why I feel too poor for academia. I'm doing my PhD and I just feel like there is some assumption that you have a car, live somewhat near university and are able to eat out/travel frequently. I'm financially fine, but there is all this lost time/energy from living affordable that just holds you back where it would not if you just had more financial means.
Totally understand this! Especially when, depending on your field, there may be industry jobs where you would make more money. Academia has huge barriers not even considering the intense mental strain.
Excellent video. Subscription added!
11:36 That class seems super interesting!
11:47 The youtuber Elliot Sang did a really great video about third spaces!
Hey, I just found your channel. Very interesting video! I really can relate to the joy of having your own space🥰 and I love going to my Uni library as a third space.
In regards to Europe being more walkable, we also have better public transportation as far as I can tell. This is true in and between countries and in cities. I live in Berlin, and I don’t have to drive a car - even though public transport also sucks it’s quite reliable. Smaller cities such as Amsterdam and Copenhagen are even more walkable/rideable and I can visit them by train as well, which is really comfy. Also, many European cities are quite old and therefore had to be walkable, similar to Boston or NY probably, but LA is quite new and most of its population came after the car was invented. While there might not be a lot of incentive to change the infrastructure over there, I actually just read smth about Elon Musk building an underground transportation system between US cities, which might change smth in the long run
I’m so jealous of people who have access to trains😭
3:00 classic future single mom opinion
i had to triple check if she really said that
مرحبا لا يستحق أن تعبدي مخلوق لم يخلقك فقط خالقك يستحق ان تعبديه وحده لا شريك له من فضلكي تعرفي على الإسلام الحياة قصيرة تنتهي في اي وقت ونعود لربنا ليحاسبنا اني ناصح لكي امين وشكرا