How to Motivate a Lazy Teenager (6 Proven Tips You Can Apply Today)
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- If you’re struggling with how to motivate a lazy teenager, this video is for you.
I’ll share with you exactly how to get lazy teens to fulfill their responsibilities, without you needing to nag or lecture them at all.
It’s challenging to get through to teenagers, but after working with teenagers around the world for more than 10 years, I know which strategies are effective.
You probably feel like you’ve tried everything when it comes to motivating your teen, but nothing has worked in the long run.
Teens are going through a lot of changes physically, emotionally and mentally. So the same approaches that worked when they were younger won’t work any longer.
In fact, if you try using things like rewards and punishments, it’s almost definitely going to backfire.
The good news is that there are a handful of key principles to keep in mind, which few parents are aware of.
In this video, I’ll share those principles with you. I'll also cover the 6 proven tips that will enable you to turn your lazy teens into ones who are more hardworking and intrinsically motivated.
As a result, your teens will start making the most of their potential, and your relationship with them will improve too!
🕛 TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Intro
1:13 Tip #1: Focus less on your teens’ problematic behavior, and more on their underlying emotions
3:51 Tip #2: Share your feelings with your teens instead of criticizing them
5:14 Tip #3: Show your teens that hard work is fun
6:46 Tip #4: Acknowledge your teens’ effort and progress
9:39 Tip #5: Show an interest in all aspects of your teens’ lives
11:34 Tip #6: Turn the conflict with your teen into a collaboration
12:59 Conclusion
✔️ DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE E-BOOK, “16 KEYS TO MOTIVATING YOUR TEENAGER”:
www.daniel-wong.com/ebook
✔️ SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL AND LEARN HOW TO HELP YOUR TEENS THRIVE:
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✔️ CHECK OUT THIS ONLINE COURSE I’VE CREATED FOR PARENTS OF TEENS - IT’S GUARANTEED TO TRANSFORM YOUR TEENS INTO ONES WHO ARE MOTIVATED AND RESPONSIBLE:
www.daniel-wong.com/transform...
What's the biggest challenge you're currently facing with your teen? Leave a comment and let me know.
Also, make sure to get your FREE e-book "16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager" here ➡ www.daniel-wong.com/ebook
My 'teen' is not a teen yet just 11, but I often feels like I'm dealing with a angsty teen! My biggest challenge is being interested in what they like (they love Roblox but to me, it's like my enemy) and also, getting them to like studying.... And also, another challenge is getting him to be kind and gracious to his younger siblings...
I can not get my 16 year old 11th grade son to go to school. He doesn't have many friends and doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything.
Apply Emotional Damage.
How do you get help when funds and time is limited? I've considered outpatient therapy but I work and can't drive her if I'm at work.
Am a single mother ,l need to be focus in studies
Phone addiction and chatting with friends all the time.
The biggest challenge I face with my 15 year old is his unwillingness to open up and start a conversation, especially when he is upset.
Thank you for sharing. Let me think about how I can address this concern in future videos.
I have the same challenges with my 11 years old and 13 years old.
Me too w my 15 year old as well
I have the same issue with my almost 16 year old when I try to talk to him calmly he still gets defensive and reactive or shut downs 😢
@@infiniteconsciousness.7 unfortunately some of that is true… it’s a dilemma. The need to become a parent is too great sometimes. But this world is not a good place to bring an innocent baby into it. It’s unethical to bring a baby and sentence them to live here for 100 years! Human experiment has gone wrong. It’s all suffering and it’s immoral to create more of this suffering.
My 17-year-old is really nice when he is getting what he wants, and nobody expects anything from him.
The moment you say no to him or ask for the bare minimum effort, he becomes abusive and aggressive.
Our requests are very basic, be respectful to people and their belongings, clean up after yourself, and no aggressive behaviour or language.
We occasionally have to withhold privileges like internet access, transportation, or other luxuries if he strays too far outside these lines.
Unfortunately, that starts a heated power struggle.
We have the same exact issue
@kirstineconnors1427 it is really hard. The only advice I have is not to let yourself get drawn into an argument. You are the parents, your job is to set boundaries and expectations, their job it to follow them. They don't have to agree or even like it, but they do need to find a way to do it.
Practice practice everything you wanna say to your kid and how you would take it and ask others and look at videos until you find a way to both be happy with the outcome… The shitty part is parents have to do all the work especially when you didn’t get that kind of love when you were a kid or attention… It’s worth it put all the effort you can until you and your kid are both happy… Authentically happy, never stop till you have no question what that looks like. 🫶
I’m a teenager myself and what you said is true
My parents have tried reward systems for me and they never seemed to worked It took me awhile to get motivated into doing things I would say convince the teen to set goals for themselves.
5:41 cause hard work isn't fun...it's hard...but it's always worth it
My brilliant son finds very difficult to adjust in new conditions and doesn’t want to go out of comfort conditions…. Now it is affecting his studies in the new school
1) How to get a teen to work out a schedule or minimally a list of objectives on how to use time during weekends instead of wasting time away. Objection given is too restrictive. (2) How to motivate to study, when teen questions need to study and graduate, thinking one can simply “live off the land”?
Discipline is crucial to motivate your teen
My parents were strict
And that’s why I am motivated to do things because if I dident I would loose my phone for a month
When parents are going to discipline you they aren’t doing it to be mean they are doing it because they love you it took me awhile to learn this
As a teen myself yes punishment is crucial but it is important that it fits the situation but often times it makes them angry including myself instead of just talking about the problem if not they become rebellious especially if you show the power over there say you threaten to kick them out they are going to want to leave feel unwanted like a black sheep and also feel distain towards the parent
Thanks for creating videos!! I can listen while I’m on the go. Appreciate your insight.
You're most welcome.
Been watching a lot of “how to motivate your teen” videos and THIS one is the best. Daniel’s examples speak directly to situations we have found ourselves in, practicing piano, doing laundry, ensuring her grades are up, etc.
Excellent video. Clear and helpful tips. Thank you, Daniel, for sharing.
You're welcome.
Thank you, this is good stuff. Love your respectful attitude towards teens. Makes perfect sense. ❤
Thank you for your kind comment!
Thsnk you so much Daniel. My teenagers have been on holidays. I am about to address them before they go back. This will help me a lot.
You're welcome!
Such a powerful video, with amazing tips that are so practical. Thank you so much for all your helpful videos, they are so appreciated!
So glad to hear that!
Daniel, your tips are very useful. Thank you. Hope to see your next video.
You're welcome!
Thank you Daniel for the sharing. It is alert me to be a more wise parent.
The issue with teenage is how to make them understand with their own goal. Thanks
I agree. Thanks!
My teen is 17 years old, and he is grade 12 almost finish school but he's not going to school. He goes only at eletrotechnology class, his school already warned him if he still not going to school he ll'be his enrolment cancel. It's very disappointed as he almost finished school.
Thank you for the video. These are some interesting suggestions that I will try. Biggest problem with our teenager is no interest in learning on any subject, only studies to get a grade and would prefer if he didn't have to learn anything.
Thank you for your video, its very helpful. My 17year old son is performing poorly, failing some subjects
Thank you so much your videos have motivated and changed how to raise my teen
Thank you this is helpful. My daughter has no motivation and not studying inspite of help and support from me and everytime I ask her what the problem is she always replied
“ I don’t know mom.” It’s hard for me to help her and she is now caught up with lots of school projects and she hasn’t done them.
Thank you for sharing. The tips in the video should help the situation with your daughter, and the free ebook will also help, so please download it if you haven't done so already: www.daniel-wong.com/ebook
@@AskDanielWongis this free?
@@divyasminivlogs4748 Yes, this e-book is completely free: www.daniel-wong.com/ebook
I am a tutor, and I see most of the kids have this problem. One of the reasons for this may be that they are depressed. Others are discouraged to even try, by their school teachers. Another reason is, many kids find it difficult to achieve, to perform on the level of the more talented students. They may try hard, but they still remain inferior to the best students. They need a lot of tact and care and philosophical attitude from their parents and teachers. Someone MUST tell them it's ok not to be No.1.
Thanks for your sharing😢❤
You're welcome!
Excellent video. Thank you so much for the tips. New subbie.
Thank you!
The best influencer of teaching parenting for teens💕🥰 Thank you so much Sir 💗
That's very kind of you!
So helpful thanks
Glad it was helpful!
My teen seems to have no engagement or desire to be present with school work. A lot of mental wondering and daydreaming.
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
Thanks for your helpful Tips❤
Happy to help!
My teen is now 18 and he thinks he knows everything he needs to know about being independent and responsible but I see from the choices he makes that he is still immature in some of his decisions. He becomes defensive when I try to talk to him about it. How do I open up a conversation about this without him feeling criticized.
At 18 you need to let him make his own mistakes.
That's the way we learn.
Don't ever give advice unless they ask us something I learned too.
Bless you sir, thank you very much.
You're welcome!
This video is very useful!
My teen is so addicted to video game.
Awesome! Idk how this video doesn't have more views.
Thanks!
Excellent
These issue are exactly what I am facing with my teens. And your advice is spot on!!
I hope the situation with your teens improves!
1:37 @@AskDanielWong
My teen won’t step out of her room during the day - there’s no communication with her at all
Is there a buzzing sound coming from the room
@@portagepete1 Your mom's struggle of carrying you for 9 months in her womb has been proved to go in vain by your comment.
Biggest challenge i face with my 15 year old is that she says i am tired not able to sleep properly but refuse to floow our advice and communicate less and kind of shows she is suffering but doesn't let is help her.
It's easy for this guy to say all of this I'm sure his kids get straight A's and B's in school. I'm sure they're going to become doctors or lawyers for both when they grow up!
Much needed advice. Thank you so much.
My kids addicted to gadgets, 😢 can you please give tips on this.
Thanks, forma the good and práctical advices
Thank you! That’s very helpful. My biggest issue with my teen is he doesn’t see the importance of school/education although he is very smart. How do I get him to understand a good education is important for his future.
Answer this question to yourself: why is work important? You go to work to get the money which will buy you anything you want. And you know that you'll be earning more money if you have a profession. This logic works for you, not for your child: no matter how hard he works, he gets no money reward. He only gets tired, for nothing. Your task is to arrange some paid work for him. A few months into it, and he'll get the idea of money and necessity of education.
Thanks God i watched your video sir before it gets too late..it helps lot now i know how to deal with my teen
Glad to hear that.
I just came across this video when i was watching videos about Motivational Interviewing, WOW! what a great video and practical tips that we (parents) can implement. Thank you Thank you Thank you!
My greatest challenge is to help my teenager cope with his ADD and he is going off to college. We are worried.
Thank you for your kind words! And thank you for sharing. If you might be interested in having me work with your son to prepare him for college, feel free to let me know.
Thank you
You're welcome.
My son struggles getting off video games don't do homework always going to bed on time plus his responsibilies help
It's very informative my friend.
I'm glad you think so!
My teen son is not actively looking for a job, despite help from my husband and me. We have tried to show him how to go about it. He has gotten into a lazy rut.
The biggest problem I found with my 11-year-old daughter is that she always does her homework at the end of deadline and it is very hard for me to figure out the reason cause we are not getting along with each other.
My son has high powered glasses and the only thing that he does at home is watch phone and play games. It’s like this from beginning.Doesn’t perform well at school . Not interested in talking to people or do chores at home.
No motivation in doing homework, finishing school or doing the boring chores at home.
The biggest challenge I have with my 15 year old is that her grades are going down drastically and she is not ready for a conversation. She gets frustrated whenever we try to discuss things with her or as how we can help. She will not utter a single word and keep quiet. We send her to private school but I don’t think it is helping her in anyways.
The biggest challenge I am having with my 13 year old son , he is always no social media even if he has to do his school work , at school he gets projects and assignments to do a month period but he always does them a day before submission.
How do we find out the underlying problem? It is hard to understand
My son is 14 not focusing on writing. Addicted to phone and so lazy. Always lying down and watching phone 😢
I’m a 55 year old mom ( husband of 23 years/ son 19/ daughter 23) who is a recovering alcoholic/ drug addicted. Happy to say I am a healthy person today with a strong spiritual guidance. My husband works every day, but contributes very little to the raising of my adult teens? even though my daughter is 23 she is still very immature(this is due to bad parenting on our part) . I am trying to teach my kids by example to do better and they are thriving in many areas? But there are a lot of bad habits that still linger from old ways? I appreciate your video very much and I’m going to try and set healthy boundaries and discuss them with my husband to help support me? The hardest thing for me is because I am what you would call “a people pleaser😏 ?? I have definitely had to change a lot of my own behaviors to strengthen my kid confidence level? I do very much agree with everything you have said in this video and I want to thank you for the help!!❤🙏🏻😊
The biggest problem I face with my teen (who’s now 20!) is that he refuses to speak at the family table with his brother and sister, my husband and myself. It frustrates me, I feel like he feels like he’s at a hotel.
By the way, thank you for your excellent videos.
It is always advisable to eat silently. In my house as well as during my hostel days, we were never allowed to talk while having food. the reason is that food might get into your lungs or even one can get chocked out of that. It is good that he stay silent at the family table. Moreover, when you engage in an conversation while having food, you are not paying attention to your food and thus, saliva secretion process does not initiate. This will again hamper the digestion. I don't know if there are some deep problems seeded within that act but if he is preferring to stay quite while eating, let him be.
My 15 year old gets great grades and thats amazing but otherwise, he just sits in one spot and uses his ipad for hours. During the weekend, he will use it all day into the night and only comes out his room to eat. He doesnt even have one friend and hates being social yet says he's depressed. He refuses to excercise, or socialize and gets upset if I say anything. I had him in therapy and the therapist got a new job after the first month. I tried to get him another therapist but it wasnt a good fit for him at all. Idk what to do anymore.
A how to learn strategy, would help. A step by step in note-taking in class, how-to revise & daily benefits, also if a teen is behind in tertiary-knowledge how do the catch-up? I seem to see the deemand for learning is higher than ever, coupled with the amount of knowledge children need to retain, but we have yet to provide students with a strategic workshop which instills the correct frameworks/foundations to-learn, from which they can springboard.
Thank you for the Video I am watching you from Jordan.my problem that my son is in the last year at school and he has no idea what so ever what to study in the university
You're welcome. Thanks for explaining. I'll keep your feedback in mind as I film future videos.
@Razan Alsharif Hi. I saw your question on here. So if you know what your son like most of the time, or what he is into, maybe you could ask him about that. Or help him look at what he finds most interesting on social media... because alot of times, you can see what someone likes by what they are looking at. Like some like to make videos, so they could develop a channel, as many do and make alot of money, especially if they like talking. Or if they like coding, or haircut videos or music etc. There are soo many parents that are going through these things.
My 13 year old spends all his free time on video games or social media. He is overweight and not comfortable with his body. My husband I have to force him to go outside. We both do things with him (I swim and my husband golf’s and fishes with him) but he would stay in his room all day if we let him. He is social and has friends but every time we try to talk about joining an extracurricular activity he gets defensive and does not want to join anything. I have tried to express why this worries me with him but he thinks we are overreacting. Please help!
Paternal control app for internet
Phone addiction has replaced many drugs. They are addicted and violent when one tries to take it away or limit time on it.
The biggest problem I'm facing is she is always on the phone or laptop to play chess and listen to music. She doesn't want to be with family members. She is telling me that I hate humans and she is very aggressive.
Nowadays I have hypertension and stress. I'm undergoing the medications. She Don't like to step out of her room
Phone and TV Addiction and starting/carrying on a conversation
The major problem im facing is, that i feel my 12 yrs old kid cant get focused during studying, so a 1 hour study becomes 5 hours instead, so she's always behind schedule
Thank you. What do you do when your teen wants games and apps but they are using it for sexual conversations with strangers and when we put limits on apps and usage such as screen time limits, they get upset. Now they have their other parent get them a phone, so now we cannot utilize the screen time limits anymore, so they stay up late on school nights, give out passwords to strangers, and have inappropriate conversations while sharing and receiving personal pictures and video calls. The other parent won’t talk with us. Do we have any legal rights? Thank you.
How to help my daughter who is always procrastinating doing things and gets unhappy about herself?
Every morning he says:” I don’t want to go to school “
I have chronic illness and my 19 year old still hasnt mowed the lawn. Its overgrown and i am unwell and i see unloved.
My teenage is too much into sports he is nt consistent in study
I share my feelings I keep telling him please do share anything when you are ready I do encourage him always and as soon he dose anything even a small thing I make it as big celebration. Still he make sure to do as little as he can. He refuse to do anything around the house, he dose not obey or respect a rule at home. My son had the best results in his high school. Now he is struggling to even get a B . I took his games away as he only spent time on video games or his mobile. I am worried that I am going to take the phone too, he dose not care. Don’t know what to do ?? He would not share anything with us.
My teen doesn’t study as She is continuously fail in school exams and spend more time on mobile
My teen does not study or do homework, and lie about having done his homework. I co Stanley get emails from teachers complaining homework not submit.
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a really frustrating situation for you. Just to let you know that I offer this 1-to-1 coaching program for teens (www.daniel-wong.com/coaching/), which would be suitable for your son -- in case you're interested.
Daniel, thank you for the presentation. My problem with my son: he doesn't communicate with me, block my access, talk to me nothing about his emotion. How to let them open to you?
Thank you for sharing. I'll keep your feedback in mind as I work on future videos.
Omg Dr. Money from king of the hill!
I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not haha...
How long do these methods take to work? I tried them yesterday and my son still would just rudely shut me down.
Which country are you based in? In the Uk, schools can be very hectic, depending on the school that you go to.
Good morning Daniel.The teen is my sister's daughter and she is only 11 but she thinks her mom gives attention to boyfriend more than her .She tells me and am caught in between on how to tell my sister,it's affecting teens school. Please help
Hi, first off thank you for the video. I will start with taking your advice. My problem with my teen is exactly that, she is currently homeschooled and I’m sure she feels like I might be micromanaging her. I don’t know what else to do? When I do enter the room she is watching her phone and just has laptop open and not working on her daily assignments
Thank you for sharing. I'll keep your feedback in mind as I make videos in the future. Also, if you haven't already downloaded the free ebook, you should find helpful tips to address the situation with your daughter: www.daniel-wong.com/ebook
Yes, thank you I already have my downloaded ebook
@@angelicagarcia2900 Great, I hope you find it useful.
Shutting down conversation or avoiding talking to me.
Thank you for your video.
My two teens do not seem to listen to me. I will tell them to do a specific task or chore and they do not do what I have asked.
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. I think you'll find the tips in this free e-book useful: www.daniel-wong.com/get-teenager-to-listen-guide/
@Lisa Rodriguez Hi. I wanted to see how it's going? I know it's hard sometimes, but if they don't do something simple you ask of them, what if you give them a warning, and tell them it is a warning, so they understand, and tell them if they don't do the things you ask, they have to have a consequence.. best one I've seen that works is taking away the phone for whatever determined amount of time.. and then if they do not do the chore or whatever.. they gotta lose that phone for a bit. It usually helps them learn... even if you have to do it again and again. I know it's hard to hear the whining and comments, but sometimes things are necessary. I feel you.
Addiction to video games
My teen is in year 10 but she has no interest on her study and she is very interested in using phone alot so please help in this case thank u
studying she manages well on her own hours and hrs.Tv addiction and not doing house chores is problem saying will do later which never comes ,shouting Back if i repeat .says she doesnt feel like doing if keepvreminding ,but things are not getting done at home ending up with me doing all housechores at end. .
Are you a doctor just wondering because you have good ideas. And do you have any videos on how teens can talk to other teens when some of them are mean.
Losing interest quickly, and noticing the motivation falls out before completion of activities. Incomplete halfway through.
My son has high aspiration but he doesn't to work hard so much so he loses to his friends easily and the get depressed
My teenage girl has four falling subjects. I don't know how to get her to want I to try. Her dad calls her a failure and a looser . I don't know what to do about it.
I would find out which of these is the case:
- she focuses and studies but can’t understand
- she won’t study because she finds it hard to understand
- she won’t study because she doesn’t care about her grades (that’s my child)
- she won’t study because her environment is not right (home is noisy)
- she won’t study because she’s hungry or in pain or sad
My son is not interested to complete his matric. He hates going to school.
Your video is great but I feel I missed so much that my son just to be 18 is very discouraging or frustrated and lost connection with us. He rejected everything I said to him. How can I bring the relationship back?
I'm sorry to hear that. I think the tips in this video will help: ua-cam.com/video/9aTBWxtKxug/v-deo.html
My teenage not doing exercises, whenever I try to convince her she do it only for a day or two, that’s al
My teen (17) doesn't want to finish high school and has no plans for the future.
Could work casual/odd jobs 30 -40 hours a week regularly for 6 months then recheck about further study?
After the 6 months, if not studying ......
he/she could pay towards all expenses (rent food leisure)
My son is 14 & 8th grade student. Mine and his mother management is not good. He is connected more to his mother and the extended family of his mother. How do you support me to regain my son's love I lost.
@nigatu taye Hi. I just saw this and wanted to ask you if it got any better?? I was thinking maybe you could figure something he likes and find something you guys could do together or go look at together? Or will he talk to you about the situation?
How to deal with ODD among teenagers?
My daughter has lots of F's. She sits down to do homework everyday, but I don't see any improvement on her grades. I don't know how to encourage her to do better at school.
is she sits on computer /lap and or with all these devices including phone nearby 😮
Do you have experience working with kids with some neurological issues such as lack of executive function? Also our son has an addictive behavior that we are trying to break him of. So he treats us like his enemies because we are always catching him doing something he loves doing but is bad for him. How can we motivate him to stop the addictive behavior and help him know that we're doing it for his own good? We explain it to him but he is stubborn and won't listen to us.
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you're facing with your son. Yes, I've successfully worked with many teenagers who were facing similar issues as your son. If you're interested in having me work with him, please submit this online form:
daniel-wong.typeform.com/to/a20ZzZ
That was wonderful. Would you guide tweens/pre-teens too?.. would you guide tweens from INDIA?
Sure, feel free to submit this online form if you're interested:
daniel-wong.typeform.com/to/a20ZzZ
Kids bio Mom has basically stepped out of their life "doing other things". As step Mom- it's tough to relate to the kids even when I try so hard
Their bio Mom also says negative things about us to them. How do I handle this?
My son is not doing well in class
Daniel can I have your personal contact I need a one on one coach for my son my 14 year old school is having falling grades and prefers football to good grade wants to be a pilot but wants to switch from science to arts thinking his grade will improve in arts but he wants to be a pilot I do not know exactly how to handle this
Thank you for sharing more with me about your son's situation. I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation. Please feel free to submit this online form and I'll get back to you:
daniel-wong.typeform.com/to/a20ZzZ
How to motivate kids to follow policies at home positively
my son is 16 years old and have 2 months gf that he didnt tell me. what should i do to trust him again ? why he lie to me? but he ask sorry right away for lying to me. can you give me an advice what to do ? thank u very much .
Although I am not a specialist, but can i give my perspective? When I was 22 years old, I had girlfriend. But i never told or informed about it to my parents. Reason 1: I, myself, was not sure if the relationship was gonna work. Reason 2: If I tell them, they will start their session of how gf can ruin a career. I was not up for it. Reason 3: they will start speculating each of my action . Although, no one can ever hide anything from their mother. Mothers are always one step ahead. My mom was always aware from day 1 I informed her about my gf as just friends. But my mom never got a trust issue on me because of this because she says Love always need some adventure and what could be more adventurous than trying your level best to hide the fact that you are in love even when you face and your activities are revealing that. haha! my mom is a genius and my best friend. This August our relationship will turn 5 years. And by the REAL grace of GOD, my parents love her and she also love and respect them.
Point is if he begged for mercy for lying to you, that's the beautiful gift! I would salute that lovely soul for being so mannerly.