Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some great things about it and my m8 after many years got excellent success with it.
"The thing about building intimacy is it requires vulnerability." That's deep and so true. Wish my ex-wife understood that. Thanks GQ for bringing me here.
I have a question. How comfortable are most couples actually are with each other? I heard that most couples are actually shy around each other and don't like getting naked around each other, so they avoid getting naked around each other. Most people seem to feel more comfortable around their platonic friends than they do around their romantic partner. Girls changing their clothes in front of a guy is a very friend-zoney thing to do since that means they don't see their guy friend as a sexual being at that point. A girl being comfortable enough to be naked around a guy means he is in the friend-zone. She trusts him as a safe guy. Usually when a girl has that kind of relationship with a guy, it means she feels safe enough around him to believe he won’t try anything. Many girls are comfortable being naked around their platonic male friends because they know that their relationship is nothing more than that of real siblings. So, that means that platonic love is better than romantic love is, and that romantic relationships are not special, while platonic relationships are special.
1. Try something new together 2. Draw your partner and discuss (what stands out to you about them ) 3. Find lyrics that express your love 4. Blindfolded food tasted (put the food on the body) 5. Ask taboo questions 6. Recreate a special moment and discuss
My girlfriend and I both would love for you to make a video explaining this concept more and what you personally suggest about each method covered also because you are a very smart therapist as well😊 we just found your channel and have only watched 3 videos so far! We both already have learned a lot but haven't used any of the information or activies you've suggested yet because we've been too busy binge watching your videos🤣 We cannot wait to become better and grow together thank you so much!
This actually makes me excited to know that as you say these exercises, and I imagine doing them with my girlfriend, I just smile because doing anything with her so much fun
This was really good ! My husband & I are Marriage Coaches and we do a lot of workshops, & retreats. It’s refreshing to see others on the front line for marriage, being intentional on adding value.
I really love this. Excited to continue to follow you and learn! I love my partner but we both struggle with emotional intimacy and openness and i am looking forward to trying some of these suggestions! I wonder if you could do a video on ways to open up/how to approach those conversations
MMMAAAAAAAMMMMM, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? This is really really good info! I've been to so many sites that just give you very surface level or recycled ideas but the info and suggestions you give are very insightful but also sound really fun! I'm going to try the "drawing" one with my husband tonight! 😊 Thank you so much for sharing your gifts with people who need it (like me, 😬 lol)! 💜 Please post more videos about intamacy ideas! (I'm also interested in hearing the "let's get the vacuum" story! Lol)
Thank you for creating your channel. I'm currently in graduate school, in my 3rd internship, and I'm interested in earning my associates license in MFT after graduation. Your videos are valuable to my journey. I wish I wouldve found you when I began the program. Keep sharing your journey and knowledge!!!!
Hi, new subscriber here! I love the insights you have that help me communicate and approach my relationship in the best way I can. As a small note, I would love to see a video specifically on building physical intimacy for those of us who are naturally uncomfortable with it!
Sometimes it seems impossible to build intimacy when it was never there to being with. Coming from someone that was in a relationship where intimacy was always tucked away, and hidden, it just seemed easier to find something new.
Wow you deserve so many more subs and views!! Thank you SO much for your amazing videos 🙏 I’m in a eight year relationship and we’re high school sweethearts so we’ve been through A LOT! We definitely wish we had a more stable relationship earlier on when we were younger. Sometimes we slip back into toxic habits of the past but we are stable and happy majority of the time! Hopefully those bad habits will go away over the years and as we continue to establish better communication habits, especially after learning more from your videos! ♥️
My issue is that I either can't or want to be vulnerable and I don't know which. My wife of 12 years said she's never seen me open up which means that she can 'never read my emotions and/or feeling. I refuse to process my emotions and feelings so that means there's no way I can share them with someone else. I went to therapy to try and address these issues, but the therapists just couldn't get my to drop my guard and open up. I don't think it helped that I gave them an extensive list of things I would not talk about and only gave closed answers even to open questions. After more than 10 sessions one therapist said they'd learnt almost next to nothing about what made me tick or how I felt about anything.
I think you might have had some kind of trauma you don't know how to process. Usually if people want to get better and they don't know how there's either an education piece missing, or something isn't functioning properly. And that's okay! We are where we are. But if you're looking to change for the better I would start with individual counseling. Don't give them a list to avoid. Everything is possible. And it's likely the list of avoided questions is where you need to start. 😅 Wishing you all the best on your healing journey!
@hnabananaa I can't disagree with your comment but as I vowed never to go back to therapy/counselling it's a bit of a mute point. I just don't have the desire, inclination or energy to deal with the underlying issues, so instead I'm just developing coping strategies to get by.
@@peterreed9566Have you considered that the underlying issues may be making you feel drained? Coping strategies are just band-aids. They eventually fall off. Our mental health is important, and if we neglect that area of ourselves it does affect our quality of life. I've made vows in the past to "never be like them" or "never sing again" and it actually made me very sick. Vows, made out of negative emotions, are never good things. They trap us in a prideful, self isolation. But you don't have to play that game! I found out I LOVE to sing and I'm good at it! I just never really gave myself a chance. And I regret more than anything those years I lost of being able to sing with my grandpa before he died, because I thought I wasn't good enough and people didn't like my voice. Your words and your own thoughts have power. You don't have to agree with your past self. You can start with giving yourself permission to feel your feelings? And acknowledge the parts of you you shut in the dark. But don't do it alone. ❤️
Just thinking about this makes me feel really angry and jealous. I have alot of resentment towards my partner. Just thinking about intimacy with him makes me really emotional.
I like going on a photo scavenger hunt. Each partner writes 5 things/places from your joint history and then go on a date and take pictures of those things/places and share memories about them.
Hello! I was wondering if you’ve ever dealt with asexual clients/a relationship where one person is asexual. I am demisexual and I am honestly scared of dating due to either my partner pressuring me or leaving me. Can an asexual and allosexual person be together? How? I would like to know how you would give advice for navigating intimacy in that scenario because usually aces are just left in the dust just because we didn’t want to have sex as much as they did (I guess it also involved sexual compatibility?)
Not to be arrogant, however this is just my opinion which might not suite all. 1 Nothing wrong about who you are 2 The is always change for better, I mean better match and change to sexual - normal sexual being 3 Only with God
I have a question. How comfortable are most couples actually are with each other? I heard that most couples are actually shy around each other and don't like getting naked around each other, so they avoid getting naked around each other. Most people seem to feel more comfortable around their platonic friends than they do around their romantic partner. Girls changing their clothes in front of a guy is a very friend-zoney thing to do since that means they don't see their guy friend as a sexual being at that point. A girl being comfortable enough to be naked around a guy means he is in the friend-zone. She trusts him as a safe guy. Usually when a girl has that kind of relationship with a guy, it means she feels safe enough around him to believe he won’t try anything. Many girls are comfortable being naked around their platonic male friends because they know that their relationship is nothing more than that of real siblings. So, that means that platonic love is better than romantic love is, and that romantic relationships are not special, while platonic relationships are special.
The narrative of this content is a transformative journey. A book with related ideas had a pivotal influence on me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
I asked him a question about his past and it has affected my intimacy with him cause we usually meet with his ex girlfriend and that makes me feel down 😢😢I wish I didn't know about his past 😢😢
There will be no counseling at all it's my life my choice an I say what goes an doesn't go. Just like I remember everything nothing I do not remember on u tube. For concerts an for why keep me here. It's not enough to keep me here.
She said that building intimacy requires vulnerability. You start. Apologize without explaining why you should be forgiven. Listen. Cry. Tell the truth, Listen more. Ask her what she wants. And listen. Then get to work.
I absolutely love these ideas! Have to try! Happy Valentine's Day!
So glad! Happy Valentine’s to you!! ♥️♥️
Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some great things about it and my m8 after many years got excellent success with it.
I'm from the GQ video. Thank you for doing the things you do!
Thank you and welcome to the channel!
Me too.
Same!
Girl me tooo😁😁
Same here, loved how detailed your observations were
"The thing about building intimacy is it requires vulnerability." That's deep and so true. Wish my ex-wife understood that. Thanks GQ for bringing me here.
It is also necessary to understand that know one can only be vulnerable in a safe space
I have a question. How comfortable are most couples actually are with each other? I heard that most couples are actually shy around each other and don't like getting naked around each other, so they avoid getting naked around each other.
Most people seem to feel more comfortable around their platonic friends than they do around their romantic partner.
Girls changing their clothes in front of a guy is a very friend-zoney thing to do since that means they don't see their guy friend as a sexual being at that point. A girl being comfortable enough to be naked around a guy means he is in the friend-zone. She trusts him as a safe guy.
Usually when a girl has that kind of relationship with a guy, it means she feels safe enough around him to believe he won’t try anything. Many girls are comfortable being naked around their platonic male friends because they know that their relationship is nothing more than that of real siblings.
So, that means that platonic love is better than romantic love is, and that romantic relationships are not special, while platonic relationships are special.
1. Try something new together
2. Draw your partner and discuss (what stands out to you about them )
3. Find lyrics that express your love
4. Blindfolded food tasted (put the food on the body)
5. Ask taboo questions
6. Recreate a special moment and discuss
Thank you!!!! The repetition was getting to me
You! The Real MVP is YOU!! Thank You so much!
Thank you for this! Gosh
Thank you so much.
What did you mean ask taboo questions ??🤔
My husband and I love the resources we found through this channel. so glad we found you 🧡
My girlfriend and I both would love for you to make a video explaining this concept more and what you personally suggest about each method covered also because you are a very smart therapist as well😊 we just found your channel and have only watched 3 videos so far! We both already have learned a lot but haven't used any of the information or activies you've suggested yet because we've been too busy binge watching your videos🤣 We cannot wait to become better and grow together thank you so much!
This actually makes me excited to know that as you say these exercises, and I imagine doing them with my girlfriend, I just smile because doing anything with her so much fun
I love that for you!
Thank you! This video just saved us $1000 in counselling costs 😀😀😀
Im here from GQ 👋🏽❤
Hi!!
This was really good !
My husband & I are Marriage Coaches and we do a lot of workshops, & retreats.
It’s refreshing to see others on the front line for marriage, being intentional on adding value.
That is awesome!
Beautiful video, thank you ❤
I really love this. Excited to continue to follow you and learn! I love my partner but we both struggle with emotional intimacy and openness and i am looking forward to trying some of these suggestions! I wonder if you could do a video on ways to open up/how to approach those conversations
MMMAAAAAAAMMMMM, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? This is really really good info! I've been to so many sites that just give you very surface level or recycled ideas but the info and suggestions you give are very insightful but also sound really fun! I'm going to try the "drawing" one with my husband tonight! 😊 Thank you so much for sharing your gifts with people who need it (like me, 😬 lol)! 💜 Please post more videos about intamacy ideas! (I'm also interested in hearing the "let's get the vacuum" story! Lol)
Haha the important thing is that we’ve found each other now! So glad you’re finding it helpful
Fellow therapist here listening to your video before work. Excellent!
Hi, friend!
I would love to see your deep-dive into this model! Your reviews of the different models has been so informative and helpful! Thanks!
I would love for you to do a deep dive into the Gottman Method!
Noted! Thank you.
Damn i am the problem, thank you for making these videos lol I really love him I can do it.
🤣🤣
Love these points!
I absolutely love this video!!
Well done
Thank you for creating your channel. I'm currently in graduate school, in my 3rd internship, and I'm interested in earning my associates license in MFT after graduation. Your videos are valuable to my journey. I wish I wouldve found you when I began the program. Keep sharing your journey and knowledge!!!!
Thank you for watching the videos, and please share any topics that would be helpful for you in this phase of your journey!
Awesome channel and content 🥰👈🏽! Happy Monday motivation
Number 6 made me smile
Great episode with great suggestions. I hope to try them soon. Thank you.
I was actually bummed when I got to the end of the video lol I was writing things down like "oh yes, keep these fire ideas comin"
🤣 maybe I should do a part 2
@@StephAnya That would be amazing!
I love the drawing activity
Sounds easy enough but I would have never thought of these. Thanks!
Hello
Just found you from the GQ video and I think your viewpoints are so vital and compassionate!
Also from the GQ video. Thanks for your advice
Lovely
Saw you on GQ video and instantly subscribed to your channel ... When is the book coming out
Haha! No idea, but I have been jotting things down. Thanks for subscribing!
Started watching your channel, thank you ❤
Thank you for watching 🫶🏽
Hi, new subscriber here! I love the insights you have that help me communicate and approach my relationship in the best way I can.
As a small note, I would love to see a video specifically on building physical intimacy for those of us who are naturally uncomfortable with it!
Ok I'll try a few of these techniques.
Let me know how it goes!
Thanks for the video
I love her face. Her videos too it's my new addiction 🤭
My face? 🥺 How sweet. Thank you!
@@StephAnya yes so beautiful! My pleasure 🤎🤎
I love your videos! Thank you for sharing your knowledge. P.s. I love your last name, it sounds so elegant!
Aw thank you!! ♥️
Love these ideas!! 🥰
I'd love to wear what I wore on my first date with my husband but I dont think it will fit lol.
Im loving your videos!! ♥️ Keep them coming
🤣 honestly same.
Sometimes it seems impossible to build intimacy when it was never there to being with. Coming from someone that was in a relationship where intimacy was always tucked away, and hidden, it just seemed easier to find something new.
This is so good
These were awesome. Thank you.
Thanks for this dear binging on your videos can you do a skincare routine plsssssssss
I love all of these ideas! I definitely will try with my partner. I am excited~
Come back and let me know how it went!
Wow you deserve so many more subs and views!! Thank you SO much for your amazing videos 🙏 I’m in a eight year relationship and we’re high school sweethearts so we’ve been through A LOT! We definitely wish we had a more stable relationship earlier on when we were younger. Sometimes we slip back into toxic habits of the past but we are stable and happy majority of the time! Hopefully those bad habits will go away over the years and as we continue to establish better communication habits, especially after learning more from your videos! ♥️
Looking forward to doing more of these activities 😉
Always so supportive!
@@ritav793 thank you, I try!
Great video!!!! I love it!!!!
Yes, please do an MFT on Gottman’s!
Hey Steph! I’ve been binge watching and loving your videos. What MFT theory do you primarily use when working with couples?
Very great I love it will try it with my partner
Yes pls
I just love your content as a MFT Grad Student :)
Good advice enjoyed it
Wow, very informative. I hope more couples see this video
Thank u soo much !! I been loving ur videos .. can you do one on the interview questions that are asked for grad school for mft thank you
My issue is that I either can't or want to be vulnerable and I don't know which. My wife of 12 years said she's never seen me open up which means that she can 'never read my emotions and/or feeling. I refuse to process my emotions and feelings so that means there's no way I can share them with someone else. I went to therapy to try and address these issues, but the therapists just couldn't get my to drop my guard and open up. I don't think it helped that I gave them an extensive list of things I would not talk about and only gave closed answers even to open questions. After more than 10 sessions one therapist said they'd learnt almost next to nothing about what made me tick or how I felt about anything.
I think you might have had some kind of trauma you don't know how to process. Usually if people want to get better and they don't know how there's either an education piece missing, or something isn't functioning properly. And that's okay! We are where we are. But if you're looking to change for the better I would start with individual counseling. Don't give them a list to avoid. Everything is possible. And it's likely the list of avoided questions is where you need to start. 😅
Wishing you all the best on your healing journey!
@hnabananaa I can't disagree with your comment but as I vowed never to go back to therapy/counselling it's a bit of a mute point. I just don't have the desire, inclination or energy to deal with the underlying issues, so instead I'm just developing coping strategies to get by.
@@peterreed9566Have you considered that the underlying issues may be making you feel drained? Coping strategies are just band-aids. They eventually fall off. Our mental health is important, and if we neglect that area of ourselves it does affect our quality of life. I've made vows in the past to "never be like them" or "never sing again" and it actually made me very sick. Vows, made out of negative emotions, are never good things. They trap us in a prideful, self isolation. But you don't have to play that game! I found out I LOVE to sing and I'm good at it! I just never really gave myself a chance. And I regret more than anything those years I lost of being able to sing with my grandpa before he died, because I thought I wasn't good enough and people didn't like my voice. Your words and your own thoughts have power. You don't have to agree with your past self. You can start with giving yourself permission to feel your feelings? And acknowledge the parts of you you shut in the dark. But don't do it alone. ❤️
I just thought of another one go to the thrift store and you both pick out something for each other to wear lol
Just thinking about this makes me feel really angry and jealous.
I have alot of resentment towards my partner. Just thinking about intimacy with him makes me really emotional.
I like going on a photo scavenger hunt. Each partner writes 5 things/places from your joint history and then go on a date and take pictures of those things/places and share memories about them.
That's genius. Thank you for sharing!
Hello! I was wondering if you’ve ever dealt with asexual clients/a relationship where one person is asexual. I am demisexual and I am honestly scared of dating due to either my partner pressuring me or leaving me. Can an asexual and allosexual person be together? How? I would like to know how you would give advice for navigating intimacy in that scenario because usually aces are just left in the dust just because we didn’t want to have sex as much as they did (I guess it also involved sexual compatibility?)
Not to be arrogant, however this is just my opinion which might not suite all.
1 Nothing wrong about who you are
2 The is always change for better, I mean better match and change to sexual - normal sexual being
3 Only with God
What if you both have childhood trauma and have a hard time with body language when in an argument ?
Exercises start at 6:15
Those activities sound doable and fun.
I have a question. How comfortable are most couples actually are with each other? I heard that most couples are actually shy around each other and don't like getting naked around each other, so they avoid getting naked around each other.
Most people seem to feel more comfortable around their platonic friends than they do around their romantic partner.
Girls changing their clothes in front of a guy is a very friend-zoney thing to do since that means they don't see their guy friend as a sexual being at that point. A girl being comfortable enough to be naked around a guy means he is in the friend-zone. She trusts him as a safe guy.
Usually when a girl has that kind of relationship with a guy, it means she feels safe enough around him to believe he won’t try anything. Many girls are comfortable being naked around their platonic male friends because they know that their relationship is nothing more than that of real siblings.
So, that means that platonic love is better than romantic love is, and that romantic relationships are not special, while platonic relationships are special.
The narrative of this content is a transformative journey. A book with related ideas had a pivotal influence on me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
This weekend I'm going to suggest the draw your partner activity!
Come back, and let me know how it goes or tag me in your story on Instagram so that I can see! Have fun!
I asked him a question about his past and it has affected my intimacy with him cause we usually meet with his ex girlfriend and that makes me feel down 😢😢I wish I didn't know about his past 😢😢
Emotional daaaamage
Starts at 3min
I want to become a sex therapist and I'm following all your videos, keep it up
Anyabwile? That sounds similar to my last name. Let me find out you’re Igbo.
Help
There will be no counseling at all it's my life my choice an I say what goes an doesn't go. Just like I remember everything nothing I do not remember on u tube. For concerts an for why keep me here. It's not enough to keep me here.
Help I am in trouble my wife and I been together for 12 years one child I am between jobs and wanting my wife back
She said that building intimacy requires vulnerability. You start. Apologize without explaining why you should be forgiven. Listen. Cry. Tell the truth, Listen more. Ask her what she wants. And listen. Then get to work.
I want to become a sex therapist and I'm following all your videos, keep it up