Couple's Therapy & 6 Fun Ways To Build Intimacy! | Gottman Method Refresher

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  • Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
  • Happy Valentine's Week, Lovers!
    My first video on Emotional Intimacy is still one of my most watched videos, and many of you have been asking for more tips. Today's video is a combination of education and fun! We begin by discussing John & Julie Gottman's empirical approach to couple's therapy and end with 6 fun activities to try with either your own partner or couples that you're working with if you're a fellow Marriage & Family Therapist (MFT) or couple's therapist. Which activity do you think would be the most challenging for you?
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    00:00 Introduction
    01:17 Gottman Method
    04:57 6 Fun Ways To Build Intimacy
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 105

  • @rmy_Youtube
    @rmy_Youtube 3 роки тому +66

    I absolutely love these ideas! Have to try! Happy Valentine's Day!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 роки тому +3

      So glad! Happy Valentine’s to you!! ♥️♥️

    • @vladtyb9487
      @vladtyb9487 3 роки тому

      Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is a smashing exclusive guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some great things about it and my m8 after many years got excellent success with it.

  • @faithaffirmationswithmiah6628
    @faithaffirmationswithmiah6628 2 роки тому +225

    1. Try something new together
    2. Draw your partner and discuss (what stands out to you about them )
    3. Find lyrics that express your love
    4. Blindfolded food tasted (put the food on the body)
    5. Ask taboo questions
    6. Recreate a special moment and discuss

    • @Pktommy1
      @Pktommy1 2 роки тому +4

      Thank you!!!! The repetition was getting to me

    • @RunTheTrackMusic
      @RunTheTrackMusic 2 роки тому +3

      You! The Real MVP is YOU!! Thank You so much!

    • @unicorn2866
      @unicorn2866 2 роки тому +1

      Thank you for this! Gosh

    • @stevensantora2976
      @stevensantora2976 Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much.

    • @Deradrumz
      @Deradrumz Рік тому

      What did you mean ask taboo questions ??🤔

  • @odikaonwualu3114
    @odikaonwualu3114 3 роки тому +117

    "The thing about building intimacy is it requires vulnerability." That's deep and so true. Wish my ex-wife understood that. Thanks GQ for bringing me here.

    • @LM-he7eb
      @LM-he7eb 2 роки тому +10

      It is also necessary to understand that know one can only be vulnerable in a safe space

  • @wonjellies
    @wonjellies 3 роки тому +152

    I'm from the GQ video. Thank you for doing the things you do!

  • @mrandmrsomuteku851
    @mrandmrsomuteku851 3 роки тому +34

    My husband and I love the resources we found through this channel. so glad we found you 🧡

  • @Nick.971
    @Nick.971 3 роки тому +17

    My girlfriend and I both would love for you to make a video explaining this concept more and what you personally suggest about each method covered also because you are a very smart therapist as well😊 we just found your channel and have only watched 3 videos so far! We both already have learned a lot but haven't used any of the information or activies you've suggested yet because we've been too busy binge watching your videos🤣 We cannot wait to become better and grow together thank you so much!

  • @deztinywillis6021
    @deztinywillis6021 Рік тому +7

    This actually makes me excited to know that as you say these exercises, and I imagine doing them with my girlfriend, I just smile because doing anything with her so much fun

  • @amyryder9444
    @amyryder9444 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you! This video just saved us $1000 in counselling costs 😀😀😀

  • @shaunmcguire7936
    @shaunmcguire7936 3 роки тому +5

    I would love to see your deep-dive into this model! Your reviews of the different models has been so informative and helpful! Thanks!

  • @vanessaschon6525
    @vanessaschon6525 Рік тому +2

    Fellow therapist here listening to your video before work. Excellent!

  • @sharkbait_hoohannah
    @sharkbait_hoohannah 3 роки тому +18

    I really love this. Excited to continue to follow you and learn! I love my partner but we both struggle with emotional intimacy and openness and i am looking forward to trying some of these suggestions! I wonder if you could do a video on ways to open up/how to approach those conversations

  • @akeelahtf9845
    @akeelahtf9845 3 роки тому +15

    Im here from GQ 👋🏽❤

  • @LindaKLee
    @LindaKLee 2 роки тому +9

    This was really good !
    My husband & I are Marriage Coaches and we do a lot of workshops, & retreats.
    It’s refreshing to see others on the front line for marriage, being intentional on adding value.

  • @marrisamodell4155
    @marrisamodell4155 3 роки тому +1

    Just found you from the GQ video and I think your viewpoints are so vital and compassionate!

  • @swoody5819
    @swoody5819 2 роки тому +1

    I absolutely love this video!!

  • @brittaneyh.6656
    @brittaneyh.6656 3 роки тому +12

    I would love for you to do a deep dive into the Gottman Method!

  • @z_z7976
    @z_z7976 2 роки тому

    These were awesome. Thank you.

  • @amerisweetheart
    @amerisweetheart 3 роки тому

    Great video!!!! I love it!!!!

  • @janett.beauty3684
    @janett.beauty3684 Рік тому

    Love these ideas!! 🥰

  • @JahBold
    @JahBold 3 роки тому +1

    I love the drawing activity

  • @muskduh
    @muskduh Рік тому

    Thanks for the video

  • @mjordan5382
    @mjordan5382 2 роки тому +1

    Number 6 made me smile

  • @annholley3540
    @annholley3540 3 роки тому +27

    Saw you on GQ video and instantly subscribed to your channel ... When is the book coming out

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 роки тому +4

      Haha! No idea, but I have been jotting things down. Thanks for subscribing!

  • @Brianna-mz6wn
    @Brianna-mz6wn 3 роки тому +10

    Damn i am the problem, thank you for making these videos lol I really love him I can do it.

  • @olgaperez4705
    @olgaperez4705 3 роки тому +1

    Also from the GQ video. Thanks for your advice

  • @ThePigattFamily
    @ThePigattFamily 3 роки тому

    Wow, very informative. I hope more couples see this video

  • @natashasmith8301
    @natashasmith8301 3 роки тому

    Thank u soo much !! I been loving ur videos .. can you do one on the interview questions that are asked for grad school for mft thank you

  • @merryalijoski3720
    @merryalijoski3720 2 роки тому

    I just love your content as a MFT Grad Student :)

  • @stephenyates4749
    @stephenyates4749 3 роки тому

    Good advice enjoyed it

  • @user-cl3tr8pr9o
    @user-cl3tr8pr9o 2 роки тому +1

    I love all of these ideas! I definitely will try with my partner. I am excited~

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 роки тому

      Come back and let me know how it went!

  • @alethiamiller8807
    @alethiamiller8807 Рік тому +2

    MMMAAAAAAAMMMMM, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!? This is really really good info! I've been to so many sites that just give you very surface level or recycled ideas but the info and suggestions you give are very insightful but also sound really fun! I'm going to try the "drawing" one with my husband tonight! 😊 Thank you so much for sharing your gifts with people who need it (like me, 😬 lol)! 💜 Please post more videos about intamacy ideas! (I'm also interested in hearing the "let's get the vacuum" story! Lol)

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  Рік тому +1

      Haha the important thing is that we’ve found each other now! So glad you’re finding it helpful

  • @rachelrueckert5938
    @rachelrueckert5938 3 роки тому +1

    Yes, please do an MFT on Gottman’s!

  • @johnnyray377
    @johnnyray377 5 місяців тому

    Well done

  • @giftmokoena2761
    @giftmokoena2761 2 роки тому

    Very great I love it will try it with my partner

  • @beaoncaward8877
    @beaoncaward8877 Рік тому

    Hey Steph! I’ve been binge watching and loving your videos. What MFT theory do you primarily use when working with couples?

  • @beanburrito8903
    @beanburrito8903 9 місяців тому +2

    Just thinking about this makes me feel really angry and jealous.
    I have alot of resentment towards my partner. Just thinking about intimacy with him makes me really emotional.

  • @TelaJillian
    @TelaJillian Місяць тому

    This is so good

  • @msjohnson1816
    @msjohnson1816 3 роки тому +14

    Thank you for creating your channel. I'm currently in graduate school, in my 3rd internship, and I'm interested in earning my associates license in MFT after graduation. Your videos are valuable to my journey. I wish I wouldve found you when I began the program. Keep sharing your journey and knowledge!!!!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 роки тому +2

      Thank you for watching the videos, and please share any topics that would be helpful for you in this phase of your journey!

    • @dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664
      @dr.suezettealoysiaandcarla1664 3 роки тому

      Awesome channel and content 🥰👈🏽! Happy Monday motivation

  • @oooitsleo
    @oooitsleo 5 місяців тому +1

    Sometimes it seems impossible to build intimacy when it was never there to being with. Coming from someone that was in a relationship where intimacy was always tucked away, and hidden, it just seemed easier to find something new.

  • @11227denis
    @11227denis 2 роки тому +5

    I was actually bummed when I got to the end of the video lol I was writing things down like "oh yes, keep these fire ideas comin"

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 роки тому +6

      🤣 maybe I should do a part 2

    • @11227denis
      @11227denis 2 роки тому

      @@StephAnya That would be amazing!

  • @rachelwhanger2680
    @rachelwhanger2680 Рік тому

    I love your videos! Thank you for sharing your knowledge. P.s. I love your last name, it sounds so elegant!

  • @monamore5738
    @monamore5738 3 місяці тому

    Lovely

  • @user-dq1ri4bd5z
    @user-dq1ri4bd5z 3 роки тому +2

    Wow you deserve so many more subs and views!! Thank you SO much for your amazing videos 🙏 I’m in a eight year relationship and we’re high school sweethearts so we’ve been through A LOT! We definitely wish we had a more stable relationship earlier on when we were younger. Sometimes we slip back into toxic habits of the past but we are stable and happy majority of the time! Hopefully those bad habits will go away over the years and as we continue to establish better communication habits, especially after learning more from your videos! ♥️

  • @shondacheesecake
    @shondacheesecake 2 роки тому +1

    Sounds easy enough but I would have never thought of these. Thanks!

  • @TelaJillian
    @TelaJillian Місяць тому

    I just thought of another one go to the thrift store and you both pick out something for each other to wear lol

  • @NDObeats
    @NDObeats 3 роки тому +3

    Looking forward to doing more of these activities 😉

    • @ritav793
      @ritav793 3 роки тому +1

      Always so supportive!

    • @NDObeats
      @NDObeats 3 роки тому

      @@ritav793 thank you, I try!

  • @srenosh
    @srenosh 11 місяців тому

    Yes pls

  • @rose4961
    @rose4961 3 роки тому +15

    Hi, new subscriber here! I love the insights you have that help me communicate and approach my relationship in the best way I can.
    As a small note, I would love to see a video specifically on building physical intimacy for those of us who are naturally uncomfortable with it!

  • @camilafocaccia
    @camilafocaccia 3 роки тому +5

    I'd love to wear what I wore on my first date with my husband but I dont think it will fit lol.
    Im loving your videos!! ♥️ Keep them coming

  • @jtp2r
    @jtp2r 2 роки тому +1

    Ok I'll try a few of these techniques.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 роки тому

      Let me know how it goes!

  • @dimjennifer2755
    @dimjennifer2755 3 місяці тому

    Thanks for this dear binging on your videos can you do a skincare routine plsssssssss

  • @lex2.0
    @lex2.0 2 роки тому +1

    I love her face. Her videos too it's my new addiction 🤭

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 роки тому +2

      My face? 🥺 How sweet. Thank you!

    • @lex2.0
      @lex2.0 2 роки тому

      @@StephAnya yes so beautiful! My pleasure 🤎🤎

  • @TheHarrisFour
    @TheHarrisFour 3 роки тому +2

    This weekend I'm going to suggest the draw your partner activity!

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  3 роки тому +3

      Come back, and let me know how it goes or tag me in your story on Instagram so that I can see! Have fun!

  • @DavidRodriguez7
    @DavidRodriguez7 Рік тому +1

    Exercises start at 6:15

  • @JM-ou4in
    @JM-ou4in 2 роки тому +1

    I like going on a photo scavenger hunt. Each partner writes 5 things/places from your joint history and then go on a date and take pictures of those things/places and share memories about them.

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  2 роки тому +1

      That's genius. Thank you for sharing!

  • @JoeM370
    @JoeM370 7 місяців тому

    The narrative of this content is a transformative journey. A book with related ideas had a pivotal influence on me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

  • @annienkunta8660
    @annienkunta8660 Місяць тому

    I asked him a question about his past and it has affected my intimacy with him cause we usually meet with his ex girlfriend and that makes me feel down 😢😢I wish I didn't know about his past 😢😢

  • @natashadevita2547
    @natashadevita2547 2 роки тому +4

    What if you both have childhood trauma and have a hard time with body language when in an argument ?

  • @owochocolate9298
    @owochocolate9298 2 роки тому +7

    Hello! I was wondering if you’ve ever dealt with asexual clients/a relationship where one person is asexual. I am demisexual and I am honestly scared of dating due to either my partner pressuring me or leaving me. Can an asexual and allosexual person be together? How? I would like to know how you would give advice for navigating intimacy in that scenario because usually aces are just left in the dust just because we didn’t want to have sex as much as they did (I guess it also involved sexual compatibility?)

    • @giftmokoena2761
      @giftmokoena2761 2 роки тому +1

      Not to be arrogant, however this is just my opinion which might not suite all.
      1 Nothing wrong about who you are
      2 The is always change for better, I mean better match and change to sexual - normal sexual being
      3 Only with God

  • @beanburrito8903
    @beanburrito8903 9 місяців тому +1

    Those activities sound doable and fun.

  • @fingerdrop
    @fingerdrop Рік тому

    Emotional daaaamage

  • @mitchellwintercat
    @mitchellwintercat 2 роки тому

    Starts at 3min

  • @darrickfarquharson3128
    @darrickfarquharson3128 2 роки тому

    Help

  • @Chee235
    @Chee235 Рік тому

    Anyabwile? That sounds similar to my last name. Let me find out you’re Igbo.

  • @AnnoyedGolfBall-cb9xx
    @AnnoyedGolfBall-cb9xx 5 місяців тому

    There will be no counseling at all it's my life my choice an I say what goes an doesn't go. Just like I remember everything nothing I do not remember on u tube. For concerts an for why keep me here. It's not enough to keep me here.

  • @darrickfarquharson3128
    @darrickfarquharson3128 2 роки тому +1

    Help I am in trouble my wife and I been together for 12 years one child I am between jobs and wanting my wife back

    • @barbiec4312
      @barbiec4312 2 роки тому +4

      She said that building intimacy requires vulnerability. You start. Apologize without explaining why you should be forgiven. Listen. Cry. Tell the truth, Listen more. Ask her what she wants. And listen. Then get to work.