Be careful about asking for advice: a better way to ask for help

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  • Опубліковано 5 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 27

  • @Gyle.3559
    @Gyle.3559 2 роки тому +9

    Thank you Doctor.
    At some point in my life I was even scared to ask people for advice.
    I entreat all to be cautious.

  • @modickens1272
    @modickens1272 2 роки тому +5

    There's an old saying " the worst vice, is advice" what Ive found in my own life is when people want advice they usually already have an idea what they're going to do and are just looking for confirmation its sensible. If the advice given is counterintuitive to their subconscious desires they won't take the advice. This is especially true of relationship advice. There's also another element of asking for advice and that is to absolve responsibility for decisions made. If something goes wrong they can just say " well all I did was take your advice and it didn't work" If I ask advice I usually ask which possible scenarios to a decision would be the most likely to occur if I decide to do something, what's the most beneficial objectively long term and why would that be the case versus the other scenario. If someone asks my advice I usually just tell them the probable outcomes of their options and let them decide what's best for them. It took years for me to learn this because in the past I'd get too emotionally invested due to my own ego, in wanting them to take my advice.

  • @Vladimyrful
    @Vladimyrful Рік тому +2

    Problem (which took me WAY longer than I would've liked to figure out) with this is, some people a) lack empathy b) take it way too literally. For example, one of my best friends would LITERALLY body swap in his head - I'd ask him "my partner did this, what would you do?" and he'd go: "Pfft, just break up" because HE literally doesn't care about MY partner, that's what he'd do. So be careful whom you ask this advice of.

  • @idlehourlinda6476
    @idlehourlinda6476 2 роки тому +2

    Excellent advice on asking for advice! ;)

  • @hassanmd4732
    @hassanmd4732 2 роки тому +4

    I have this right criteria that I hold people against to judge whether I should ask for someone's advice or not. It also holds for unsolicited advices.
    So, the person should have following things in order for me to consider/solicit their advice:
    1. Competency in the related field
    2. Honest intentions for me
    3. At least some knowledge of my personal situation/circumstances
    Take out any 1 of these and the advice usually falls short of mark.
    Would really love to hear your thoughts on this Dr Taraban.

  • @nilighosh158
    @nilighosh158 2 роки тому

    Thank you. I think if you're asking somebody for a advice, take note of who it is coming from. Making good use of advise is not easy. We all need advice. It's not always that we do not know what to do. But external consultation gives us inner strength.

  • @yukitupapps9535
    @yukitupapps9535 2 роки тому +8

    How about a vid on receiving unwanted advice. I put myself out there, try new things, and am out of my comfort zone frequently. I find myself getting armchair advice from friends on more than one occasion. So frustrating for me. Wish I had a comeback for all these 'well wishers'.

    • @daniellecharming
      @daniellecharming 2 роки тому

      Free advice often reflects that in its value. "Thank you I will take that into consideration" is typically a good response.

    • @Ensource
      @Ensource Рік тому

      that you have to experience things on your own timeline.

    • @adamrandall5163
      @adamrandall5163 Рік тому

      Or even worse, those that ask for advice & then completely ignore it.

  • @deborahappreciates8
    @deborahappreciates8 Рік тому +1

    This was very helpful. I realize I have been making this same error for years. Thank you.

  • @daniellecharming
    @daniellecharming 2 роки тому

    Thank you this makes sense. I will start using this line from now on!

  • @zensvlognotapro
    @zensvlognotapro 2 роки тому

    I ask advise but not too many people I choose. I ask advise but in the end I follow what I think is good and beneficial. On the other side when someone asks my advise I tell my truth but I let them to decide for themselves.
    I lay down my thoughts but I also tell them what do you think is good for you then decide on it.
    Good morning Dr. O ☕🌿🌞

  • @davidbowman2035
    @davidbowman2035 Рік тому

    Nice, subtle comment about chemo. It wrecks the immune system.

  • @fps_spicy
    @fps_spicy 5 місяців тому

    thanks man :)

  • @vanessamcbridebreathebelie5468
    @vanessamcbridebreathebelie5468 2 роки тому +1

    i agree totally

  • @80zpauer9
    @80zpauer9 2 роки тому

    Always worth it to watch your videos 👏👏👏

  • @shauntaylor-lovelightfamily
    @shauntaylor-lovelightfamily 2 роки тому

    You are doing great inspirational work doctor

  • @mariaelenacabrera9721
    @mariaelenacabrera9721 2 роки тому

    Thank you. Excellent advice.

  • @IsmaelKenig
    @IsmaelKenig 10 місяців тому

    It's not precise when you say most oncologists would not undergo chemotherapy if they had cancer themselves. I believe you're talking about a 1985 survey which found that only about one-third of physicians and oncology nurses would have consented to chemotherapy for non-small-cell lung cancer. Turns out treatment for non-small-cell lung cancer (yes, the survey was very specific) has improved and a new survey was conducted in 1997 where among oncologists/hematologists, 64.5% said that they would take chemotherapy, as did 67% of nurses. Apart from that, keep up the good work.

  • @andreistefan2033
    @andreistefan2033 Рік тому

    Nobody listen for advices if they don't believe in that advice from the first time. Always listen for YOUR advice. You already know what to do. How many times people ask for your advice, you give them good advice, but you never follow your own advice?

  • @lisahyyppa3360
    @lisahyyppa3360 Рік тому

    Anywhere Is
    /
    Lyrics
    Main Results
    I walk the maze of moments
    But everywhere I turn to
    Begins a new beginning
    But never finds a finish
    I walk to the horizon
    And there I find another
    It all seems so surprising
    And then I find that I know
    You go there, you're gone forever
    I go there, I'll lose my way
    If we stay here we're not together
    Anywhere is
    The moon upon the ocean
    Is swept around in motion
    But without ever knowing
    The reason for its flowing
    In motion on the ocean
    The moon still keeps on moving
    The waves still keep on waving
    And I still keep on going
    You go there, you're gone forever
    I go there, I'll lose my way
    If we stay here we're not together
    Anywhere is
    I wonder if the stars sign
    The life that is to be mine
    And would they let their light shine
    Enough for me to follow
    I look up to the heavens
    But night has clouded over
    No spark of constellation
    No Vela, no Orion
    The shells upon the warm sands
    Have taken from their own lands
    The echo of their story
    But all I hear are low sounds
    As pillow words are weaving
    And willow waves are leaving
    But should I be believing
    That I am only dreaming
    You go there, you're gone forever
    I go there, I'll lose my way
    If we stay here we're not together
    Anywhere is
    To leave the thread of all time
    And let it make a dark line
    In hopes that I can still find
    The way back to the moment
    I took the turn and turned to
    Begin a new beginning
    Still looking for the answer
    I cannot find the finish
    It's either this or that way
    It's one way or the other
    It should be one direction
    It could be on reflection
    The turn I have just taken
    The turn that I was making
    I might be just beginning
    I might be near the end
    Source: Musixmatch
    Songwriters: Roma Ryan / Eithne Ni Bhraonain / Nicky Ryan
    Anywhere Is lyrics © Emi Music Publishing Ltd
    Jesus is my Teacher always & in all ways…
    Galatians 1:10-12
    King James Version
    10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
    11 But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.
    12 For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.
    John 14:26-27
    King James Version
    26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
    27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
    Psalm 91:11-13
    Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
    11 For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].
    12 They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
    13 You shall tread upon the lion and adder; the young lion and the serpent shall you trample underfoot.

  • @monikasolymos2396
    @monikasolymos2396 8 місяців тому

    You ask it or not, you will get advises many times. Especially when you need help, not advise. I "like" these advises the most, those instead of help. So I prefer not to ask even for help.

  • @soccom8341576
    @soccom8341576 Рік тому

    If people are this sensitive about whether you obey them or not, that's fundamentally their problem.

  • @hasen_judi
    @hasen_judi 2 місяці тому

    So uh .. what would they do instead of chemo?

  • @eladbari
    @eladbari Рік тому +1

    @2:40 Please don't leave us hanging about the oncologists remark. Do they know chemo ruins your body and it's some kind of medical hoax? What would they say about it...? Maybe weed cures much better than chemo?

    • @IsmaelKenig
      @IsmaelKenig 10 місяців тому

      I love this channel, but he is not right regarding this subject. He is talking about a survey from 1985 asking doctors and nurses about chemotherapy for non-small-cell lung cancer (only 1/3 would accept), turns out treatment for non-small-cell lung cancer has improved over the years and a new survey showed that the number of medical oncologists who would choose chemotherapy has at least doubled and may have quadrupled. This suggests that these informed consumers have recognized the enhanced clinical benefit and reduced clinical toxicity of chemotherapy today and are making choices consistent with national clinical practice guidelines.