Jaw Dropping Anonymous Confessions

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  • Опубліковано 13 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 199

  • @bilindalaw-morley161
    @bilindalaw-morley161 Місяць тому +9

    I love that when Ryan says its the most traumatic sentence he's read, Toni makes him repeat it three times!

  • @NurseElleDubz
    @NurseElleDubz 6 місяців тому +314

    I thought “population paste” would be the worst thing I’d hear today…then I was hit with “schlong jelly in his belly.” 🤢😩

    • @Jemdyer
      @Jemdyer 5 місяців тому +6

      And then baby batter at the end!!

  • @trismite
    @trismite 6 місяців тому +427

    Maybe I'm pessimistic, but I bet the patient in the first confession found out about the wife's career and decided to be her patient. Maybe to 'confess' or maybe to get one up on the wife or something. i don't trust that it's 100% accidental.

    • @spicybeantofu
      @spicybeantofu 6 місяців тому +26

      Like how did she not notice the names

    • @AromaticAromantic
      @AromaticAromantic 6 місяців тому +11

      My thoughts exactly

    • @dillonsiv
      @dillonsiv 6 місяців тому +26

      thats what I'm thinking as well, like when the patient was like "the guilt is eating me alive" maybe she was like if I indirectly tell her its fine

    • @0MohawkWarrior0
      @0MohawkWarrior0 6 місяців тому +54

      It is most likely a made up story. If this person were a real licensed therapist, they would know that confidentiality only prevents them from telling the husband. The confidentiality does not apply to what she tells the patient (her husband is not her patient).
      Further, it would be an ethics violation to NOT tell the patient "I can no longer be your therapist due to this conflict of interest."
      This is the case in every country that I am aware of.

    • @SaminkaLP
      @SaminkaLP 6 місяців тому +10

      @@spicybeantofu It's possible for women to keep their last names nowadays. But yeah, this story is either fake or the patient did it as a power move.

  • @andrewbranch5900
    @andrewbranch5900 6 місяців тому +709

    Last time I came this early I apologised and left.

  • @Myriad727
    @Myriad727 6 місяців тому +535

    "Population paste" is still so funny to me, right up there with 'baby batter'. 😂

    • @kricku
      @kricku 6 місяців тому +4

      Swedes: Gubbagegg

    • @kasaokc
      @kasaokc 6 місяців тому

      Thought I'd never heard this before but then I re-watched "Alex Strangelove" and noticed that Del says it as they walk to a party. Funny to hear it twice in one week.

    • @AmandaPelland
      @AmandaPelland 6 місяців тому

      I couldn't stop laughing!

    • @monkeybeasts
      @monkeybeasts 6 місяців тому

      baby batter is better

    • @raimeyewens7518
      @raimeyewens7518 5 місяців тому +1

      Tinder sauce

  • @_letstartariot
    @_letstartariot 5 місяців тому +14

    ‘Fanny flutters’ Toni has no shame and I love that.

  • @corancoranthemagicalman
    @corancoranthemagicalman 6 місяців тому +37

    Cannot believe they said "can't you feel it coming out" but didn't follow up with "well I'm sure he felt it coming in."

  • @Moncherelouis
    @Moncherelouis 5 місяців тому +14

    technically she can say “i can’t see you anymore because your relationship with my husband creates a conflict of interest”

  • @TheBirdBabe817
    @TheBirdBabe817 6 місяців тому +36

    "Never trust a fart & never trust Toni Lodge."
    *Commercial break* 😂

  • @Rachmond76JU
    @Rachmond76JU 6 місяців тому +85

    “Fanny flutters” hilarious!!!

    • @spicybeantofu
      @spicybeantofu 6 місяців тому +2

      I know what she means I get em too when I day dream.

    • @Rachmond76JU
      @Rachmond76JU 6 місяців тому +1

      @@spicybeantofu definitely!!! Just never heard them called Danny flutters before. I’m going to use that from now on.🤣🤣🤣🤣
      My husband will be disgusted and my 20 year old daughter will be embarrassed.😜😜😜 oh the fun to be had.

  • @GirlieAndroid
    @GirlieAndroid 6 місяців тому +52

    I was drinking water when Ryan was giving Toni credit for the silent fart, I spit out the water all over my keyboard. I died from laughter and woke my husband up. lol Toni's reactions are the best. Love you guys.

  • @Nikkistrict
    @Nikkistrict 6 місяців тому +157

    Trust me, never trust a fart. You’ll be betrayed by your own self

    • @thefishshopcat
      @thefishshopcat 6 місяців тому +1

      Very true, in a swimming pool, with a few seniors swimming around...

    • @SammyBear-qw7vn
      @SammyBear-qw7vn 6 місяців тому

      😂🎉

    • @Nikkistrict
      @Nikkistrict 6 місяців тому +1

      @@thefishshopcat id like to add a poll here:
      Who all has shat themselves in a pool? I have not
      Truly, I was always afraid I would get hit with my ibs when I was in a pool FARTHEST away from steps and would have to get out by ladder and squeeze 😅

    • @Fizz-Pop
      @Fizz-Pop 3 місяці тому

      The older you get the more true this is. Stop helping gruffs escape. They don't need help. If they want out they will. Remember.

  • @jennabean4926
    @jennabean4926 5 місяців тому +56

    Thanks Toni for getting him to repeat it 3 times… hearing it 3 times 😂

  • @glitterstudent7066
    @glitterstudent7066 5 місяців тому +13

    I’m in my last month of pregnancy and I had to physically hold my mouth closed to keep from puking at the fart one 😂😂😂 I haven’t experienced morning sickness in months. Thanks for that

  • @Nixter52
    @Nixter52 5 місяців тому +31

    I've just recently discovered this channel and I just now realized that there isn't a light with a crescent moon in the back, its just the bulb 🤦‍♀

  • @FourCues147
    @FourCues147 6 місяців тому +127

    Population Paste 💀

    • @Nikkistrict
      @Nikkistrict 6 місяців тому +3

      Gets me everytime 😂

    • @najadahmer4862
      @najadahmer4862 6 місяців тому +2

      It’s one hell of a word to use for your swimmers 😂

    • @smolcat66
      @smolcat66 5 місяців тому

      Shlong jelly

  • @shortiejayyy
    @shortiejayyy 6 місяців тому +76

    These people submitting stories are such writers man! 😂😂😂
    And to quote Toni "the cummies came out the bummies" 😂😂😂❤
    Love that!

  • @tiago9977
    @tiago9977 6 місяців тому +37

    I'm not sure what's worse lmao: 1:15 Population Paste, 1:37 Shlong Jelly or 8:26 Baby Batter

    • @PersonWithStupid37
      @PersonWithStupid37 6 місяців тому +1

      The shudders we shudder 😭

    • @Countryperson666
      @Countryperson666 6 місяців тому +1

      What about the fanny flutters?

    • @PersonWithStupid37
      @PersonWithStupid37 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Countryperson666 Tony has a talent with words is all I will say

    • @foxwoodjones9831
      @foxwoodjones9831 5 місяців тому +4

      I dunno- “the cummies came out of the bummies” was pretty traumatizing as well. 😫🤣

  • @nomadrlh889
    @nomadrlh889 5 місяців тому +14

    At least that therapist can make peace with her patient's feelings of guilt about breaking up her therapist's marriage. Imagine how the patient will feel when she finds out the therapist is the married guy's wife. If the therapist and the husband have kids the patient will have to meet her at some point. Then she can drop-list her as a patient due to a conflict of interest. Oh, man. This therapist has an opportunity here. Make the husband and the patient be accountable for their behavior.

  • @JadeH16
    @JadeH16 6 місяців тому +18

    Toni’s laugh reminds me of my mum 🤣 cheers me up no end 🤣🤣

  • @Samantha-qj9wq
    @Samantha-qj9wq 6 місяців тому +6

    OMG, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LONG VIDEO FOR THIS!!

  • @YaBigGaymo
    @YaBigGaymo 6 місяців тому +7

    Oh wow, really puts the "recourse" in Human Resources. So committed to his job!

  • @DC-FGC
    @DC-FGC 5 місяців тому +6

    That reaction to "population paste" is great! That's the face someone makes when something is both disgusting and hilarious at the same time.

  • @WhyWouldYou821
    @WhyWouldYou821 6 місяців тому +7

    Toni taking credit for that travesty is hilarious 😂

  • @annie-sc
    @annie-sc 6 місяців тому +22

    The first one was just like _The World of the Married_ (k-drama) but irl 😂

  • @najadahmer4862
    @najadahmer4862 6 місяців тому +21

    “Maybe it was still recovering..” Wtf Toni 🤣🤣
    I love you 🖤

    • @riakendall8610
      @riakendall8610 6 місяців тому

      And her facial expression, not unlike a recovering butthole.. I'm dying!

  • @mediawarhead6124
    @mediawarhead6124 6 місяців тому +7

    You had me at the first story already. What a plot twist. Love the content you create

  • @marycanary86
    @marycanary86 5 місяців тому +3

    "its gotta come somewhere - dont say come somewhere" LMAO

  • @nonosquare259
    @nonosquare259 6 місяців тому +16

    Note: Please warn us… I was like YAY new video before my lunch… IN OFFICE
    Two people asked me if I was feeling ok because I have stopped eating like 10 times.

    • @spicybeantofu
      @spicybeantofu 6 місяців тому

      Why? What did I miss? Got the giggles?

  • @emmadurward3248
    @emmadurward3248 6 місяців тому +2

    I wish you guys uploaded more UA-cam videos. I love watching them

  • @chronicallykait
    @chronicallykait 6 місяців тому +2

    I've never heard of this channel, but I am sobbing from laughing so hard. Immediate subscribe.

  • @IntrepidFraidyCat
    @IntrepidFraidyCat 6 місяців тому +15

    8:04 He read it out to her three times...😂

  • @NikkiSmit-v4z
    @NikkiSmit-v4z 4 місяці тому

    You guys never disappoint! 😂😂😂 love you!!!! ❤❤❤

  • @hell0mega
    @hell0mega 6 місяців тому +8

    i could listen to you guys say "murdah" for hours

  • @benjaminstein2508
    @benjaminstein2508 6 місяців тому +12

    Sorry, but what about the doctor-patient-confidentiality keeps the psychologist from telling the patient that it’s her husband and tell her to f*ck off due to conflict of interest? The story seems very made up… a little twist on first wifes club if you ask me

  • @AFoxInFlames
    @AFoxInFlames 5 місяців тому +2

    That first one, i hope that therapist has a therapist...what a small world!

  • @pandafloof3887
    @pandafloof3887 2 місяці тому

    Ironically an elderly couple was also killed by their neighbor near me. He hacked them up. It was all over the news. Not sure exactly what it was over but apparently they had argued over a tree. He built a bunker under his house which is where he put the bodies. This is why I try not to complain about my neighbors. You never know what kind of crazy people you live next to

  • @tindude4413
    @tindude4413 6 місяців тому +3

    ❤❤ love you guys 😂😂 I can’t stop laughing you always make my day no matter what time it is!

  • @ashleenicole71
    @ashleenicole71 6 місяців тому +1

    😂😂😂 that last one..took a second for toni😂

  • @fernsvlog1968
    @fernsvlog1968 6 місяців тому +27

    I once was flirting and chatting with a guy online on and off. When I started a new job I saw that he was one of the bosses. We exchanged numbers and just decided to sleep together to get that weird feeling out of the air. We had a long 3 hour session at his place and now we’re great friends!

  • @pachimarie
    @pachimarie 6 місяців тому +2

    could you imagine working as an hr rep, giving your coworker their exit interview and they end it with "oh. and *name*, it was me that day at *address" 💀

  • @zessonateacloud
    @zessonateacloud 6 місяців тому +12

    To the hellboy person: it's the internet. There is porn about everything out there.

  • @AhnastasiaRose
    @AhnastasiaRose 6 місяців тому +1

    Can’t wait for the follow-up Thursday compilations to these stories

  • @shivermesmithers3234
    @shivermesmithers3234 2 місяці тому

    1:21 “population paste”… ya know? The word moist doesn’t sound so bad after all 😅😂😂😂

  • @hellzbellzandcoffeebeanzcr4836
    @hellzbellzandcoffeebeanzcr4836 6 місяців тому +2

    The cackle I let out after that last story🤣🤣☠️👻

  • @FoSho7787
    @FoSho7787 6 місяців тому +1

    Y'all had me 😂rolling😂

  • @Recovery7
    @Recovery7 6 місяців тому +5

    last one killed me ALJSHDJKHAS

  • @Imberis
    @Imberis 6 місяців тому +6

    I was in such a foul mood, then I watched this and immediately laughed and felt better.

  • @DcLoki12
    @DcLoki12 6 місяців тому +4

    Eating while watching this was an awful choice

  • @wvguy7238
    @wvguy7238 6 місяців тому +1

    My dad, in his infinite wisdom, gave me wise words to live by. "Never trust a fart, and never waste a hard on."

  • @XenoDystopia
    @XenoDystopia 6 місяців тому +2

    The last story feels so unreal. There is no way that would happen 1 day later. The 💦 would have turned into a liquid that gets either absorbed into the body or leak during sleep. There is no way you can hold that all night, and it would still be the same. Also, there is no way you can't tell you are full of any kind of liquid there.

    • @blueeyedbaer
      @blueeyedbaer 6 місяців тому

      It's not how it works. I can personally confirm that you can have 💦 in you bum the next morgning.

  • @lindseymercer7833
    @lindseymercer7833 Місяць тому

    I had a bad neighbour. I was getting asleep one night and my neighbour decided to cut her tree down with a chain saw at ten o'clock at night . Obviously my son did not go to sleep for ages . I didnt mention my son was unwell .

  • @acane71
    @acane71 5 місяців тому

    You two are the best!

  • @lizpleszkoch403
    @lizpleszkoch403 5 місяців тому +1

    I think you literally “yucked his yum” there at the end. 🤣
    You often say you’ll “never do that.”
    I guess never say never!

  • @nonosquare259
    @nonosquare259 6 місяців тому +1

    I LOVE YOU TONY AND RYAN!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @alexisb.8965
    @alexisb.8965 6 місяців тому +3

    Haha, I love your banter too funny!

  • @cleosworld9096
    @cleosworld9096 День тому

    This is y u don’t mess with married ppl then u can’t catch feelings for them

  • @TheZintastic
    @TheZintastic 6 місяців тому

    Mouth and facial expressions: "...oh dear lord that's horrible..."
    Body language: "Who gave permission to pause, tell me MORE!!"

  • @sashafierce9879
    @sashafierce9879 5 місяців тому

    Y'all are hilarious 😅😅😅😅😅

  • @HandyHelons
    @HandyHelons 6 місяців тому

    😂 that’s fair, I’ve always said that… 😂😂😂😂 I just snorted really loudly and nearly woke my husband 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @aefinn
    @aefinn 6 місяців тому +7

    Population paste was outrageous :D

  • @jeanluccouture9088
    @jeanluccouture9088 6 місяців тому +1

    To answer her question: no. You do not feel a few drops of liquid coming out of your bum. It doesn't solidify up there😅😅😅

  • @kirtywright1974
    @kirtywright1974 6 місяців тому +1

    The “silent farter”, who turned out to be a not so silent sharter, should have worked out by now, that his baby batter, pretty much works like a damn enema!😳💯

  • @arieljade1291
    @arieljade1291 5 місяців тому

    The first story is like Diane Keaton’s characters whirlwind in First Wives Club, with the husband sleeping with her therapist. That’s insane. Also, which Hell oh are we talking about here?

  • @lelandmartin6840
    @lelandmartin6840 5 місяців тому

    I absolutely love you two. I'm absolutely dead.

  • @CristiNeagu
    @CristiNeagu 5 місяців тому

    I don't know about that first one... Her husband isn't protected by patient-doctor confidentiality, so she can tell her patient she's the wife. And you wouldn't be violating patient-doctor confidentiality to tell your husband that the woman he's cheating with is your client.

  • @GrandRho
    @GrandRho 6 місяців тому

    The very first confession with the therapist, Toni how you decide your happiness is by not f***ing with a married man from jump!! That’s how you decide!!😒🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @MmmHuggles
    @MmmHuggles 6 місяців тому +1

    Never trust a fart, tell me about it. Two times in my life so far I let what I thought would be a fart, only to be rudely surprised. Lucked out being home both times.

  • @kaynesheldon4905
    @kaynesheldon4905 6 місяців тому

    Population paste had me rollliiinnggg but that snot rocket baby batter made me gag😂🤮

  • @shannonscelza8915
    @shannonscelza8915 6 місяців тому

    We heard this one but I’ll watch anyway

  • @BunnyNorris
    @BunnyNorris 6 місяців тому +1

    I’m a psychologist and I have to tell someone… so I’m gonna tell everyone.

  • @mattc1684
    @mattc1684 5 місяців тому

    Everything sounds better in Australian 🤣

  • @gngrdanny
    @gngrdanny 6 місяців тому

    😂yeah look I'm a top and even I was told you don't fart after bottoming

  • @angrychickadee4456
    @angrychickadee4456 6 місяців тому +2

    Well.. ill be seeing hellboy differently now

  • @harrietyounger6118
    @harrietyounger6118 5 місяців тому

    The biggest fart to come out of my person. 😂

  • @nervoticcccc
    @nervoticcccc 6 місяців тому

    This is completely unrelated but I have no other avenue so I'm putting it here :D
    Listening to the episode where Ryan discusses American Psycho & Archer - have you watched Bojack Horseman? I'm a fan of both American Psycho and Archer (haven't watched Californication which was also mentioned), and Bojack is ALSO one of those asshole egoistic alcoholics who blames the world for all his issues. But it's also funny and incredibly self-aware. It's probably my favourite show :D

  • @marcelbpunkt
    @marcelbpunkt 3 місяці тому

    This is so disgusting and distasteful! Right up my alley lmao.

  • @stevelapierre4776
    @stevelapierre4776 5 місяців тому +1

    😨oh crikey.. gosh that 2nd to last and last one gosh.. well I too not like him but always after I have to go to the bathroom to well out with it. hmm up or down lol. habit.. lol. but about the neighbour.. I have or need to say this out loud, cause I need to tell someone... gosh .. scared to say it here.. for 3 past years now.. I am WAY.. past the line and now scared for my like cause of a psycho woman neighbour that loves to fight and make living hell on others, ME... cause she has no life.. at first was he friend the police sergeant and owner of building for a week almost Breaking down my door like I was a terrorist.. and made her friend the cop criminal harasse me as she did... for weeks and after, cops parked outside of building with lights flashing to again scare me.. I am gay and they HATE it with a passion, alone since my ex, and been here for hellish 13 years.. 2 years ago, started saying to kids and every one in building and houses around I am a Child P****tor.. you know.. and now turn off my hot water tank in basement and evey time take showers, nothing , not even to was dishes.. I have no were to turn, cause I have door cam, and that pisses her off.. owner put a wall there cause facing her door, no, I put camera for stolen parcels, and have proof, and even recorded what she said to her niece around 9 years old about the false what I am, and now they scream bloody murder outside, if a walk into my own bathroom, and she runs out swearing saying '' Jesus *****, I told you not to say that when he's (me) there cause I (me) will have more proof against her.. now even to couple across the street used to say Hi to me, now face to face with them at the supermarket and they looked at me like I was a monster.. I do not leave the apartment and nor allowed to open the hood of my car, I work on my own car, think only GAY in this town that knows more about cars than most straight ones at the garages..... cause '"' BOTHERS HER''" and gives neighbours a hard time, when all the proof I have , recorded, video, pictures of her.. witnesses, even leaving that niece alone, in her apartment while she goes out dinking and arrived 12 am drunk and falls face on the floor, I and everyone hears that gosh bang on the floor and the building shakes.. .. so I am a monster cause Gay, but they are making my like a living hell and no cop will help, cause her friend the cop lets her drive drunk.. and the neighbours that know me for years, now try and hide cause.. I have no idea.. sorry for this but.. I cannot sleep nor eat for months, scared of being attacked, or killed.. I have no idea, since no family, no friends gosh not here and no where else to go cause injured shoulders and botched surgery on knees and shoulders cause work related accident.. so what do I do.. please this is not rant nor for likes , just need, gosh, no idea, went to a woman lawyer, she yield at me but her secretary took my side and told her the law they were breaking and illegal acts against me.. I recoded the lawyer like I do even doctors , everyone, cause you need proof... but lawyer told me to leave I left crying and scared.. so I told her.. '' If I a man did that to her I WOULD BE IN JAIL'' she just looked at me and nothing I left.. and cried in my car.. now worst than ever.. Sorry Toni and Ryan.. once you said the *neighbour.. I am literally sick to my stomach, mental health is gone and NOT ONE PLACE FOR A MAN HERE TO GET HELP.. so.. just letting you know. if you see a similar story.. again sorry for all this.. I am sorry.. love your videos guys.. sorry again..!!!

  • @devonscotsmen2379
    @devonscotsmen2379 5 місяців тому

    Literally never heard it called population paste 😂😂😂

  • @Adamw2007
    @Adamw2007 6 місяців тому +1

    I died when Ryan said silently snot rocketed his 💦💦💦 from the night before lmmfao

  • @johnwpmusic
    @johnwpmusic 2 місяці тому

    1:20 that is what made me fall in love with this podcast.

  • @SO_DIGITAL
    @SO_DIGITAL 5 місяців тому

    I strive to have Ryans' hair.

  • @SteelBuckeye
    @SteelBuckeye 5 місяців тому

    I don’t think it’s “baby batter” in this situation. It’s more like “queen filling”.

  • @gracfulgrace
    @gracfulgrace 5 місяців тому

    oh my god!!! the last story

  • @pinkluver7715
    @pinkluver7715 6 місяців тому

    It's a shame with that last featurette; Toni gives great advice on most episodes.

  • @10-OSwords
    @10-OSwords 6 місяців тому

    Speaking of bad neighbors: I live in an apt. & my next door neighbor one night tried to break down my front door & break into my apt...I got a restraining order against him & the management has NOT EVICTED HIM...A SECOND neighbor ASSAULTED ME IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER IN THE OFFICE WHICH I GOT ON VIDEO....I got a restraining order against him as well-management has not evicted him either!

  • @luisarturohernandezramirez5910
    @luisarturohernandezramirez5910 5 місяців тому

    For the first one she could've definitely told the patient

  • @AutumnSwift2
    @AutumnSwift2 5 місяців тому

    At a certain point I'd rather my therapist confess to me it was her husband I was sleeping with.

  • @foreverbells
    @foreverbells 6 місяців тому

    "My friend told me..."

  • @breanapadilla3661
    @breanapadilla3661 4 місяці тому

    What is a 'tapa'? Not sure if that is what you're saying.

  • @StrictlyStarsky
    @StrictlyStarsky 6 місяців тому

    9:00 That was great advice about silent farting but….

  • @PancakeTopp
    @PancakeTopp 6 місяців тому

    She wanted to tell the wife directly cause she feels guilty but don't know how without getting punched in the face

  • @tracyhenderson3667
    @tracyhenderson3667 6 місяців тому

    WOW just WOW so many odd things going on.

  • @lyndsycarson8302
    @lyndsycarson8302 6 місяців тому +1

    no, that’s not what hellboy is for. they need help

  • @imogenganderton1353
    @imogenganderton1353 5 місяців тому

    thank you for the video haha, I've been speaking to people and everyone seems to forget that before only fans there was the hoe phase, before the hoe phase there was the ass eating phase where that was all anyone seemed to talk about.

  • @spicybeantofu
    @spicybeantofu 6 місяців тому

    The first one there's no way she didn't recognize the last names.

  • @melmelbry5754
    @melmelbry5754 6 місяців тому

    Why would the psychologist not give advice to stop tho? Before she knew who it was about?

  • @gormster
    @gormster 5 місяців тому

    Bleeped: sex
    Not bleeped: population paste

  • @nightlyrowentree6047
    @nightlyrowentree6047 3 місяці тому

    I have to say it though those "oh im sleeping with a married man and he said he would leave his wife for me " stuff ...if he did it once he will do it twice and low behold a cheater is a cheater and i have seen 😂 that type of drama and got pished in the middle and all 3 times the 1 woman and 2 men 😂 pulled the same thing they did with there original to the 2nd 1

  • @michellegulden1052
    @michellegulden1052 Місяць тому

    That pt new