"Don't fear the fear" helped me, finally. I would repeat that when I felt the fear. It's truthful advice. I can sometimes reframe it as excitement. That doesn't always work, but when it does, it works fast.
dearest 70/30, you are kicking ass! i have been working for over 20 yrs in therapy and anxiety stays with me to this day. i try to kindly care for me to best deal with a stuation before it, in it and after it. and yes, sometimes, i let myself get out of it, if i know i need space that day. YOU are the most important here. david thank you for the acceptance part♥️AWESOME VIDEO
It’s a really difficult answer (to accept the anxiety) because when you suffer from an excess it really does get in the way of living life. For example at work sometimes it wrecks my confidence presenting, at home it wrecks my sleep, sometimes I have nightmares etc. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But I have had some success with acceptance and over time (a lot of time, and supported by a psychotherapist) I have experienced anxiety very gradually decreasing in intensity and frequency. Sometimes I even tap into some anger/frustration these days at the situations that cause anxiety, which feels like a win, as often it really is how people are acting that’s causing it, just as much as or more than the way my body is wired. My tendency is to blame everything on myself rather than seeing that other people do have some responsibility for how I feel. Thanks for the great reminder.
And that it responds well, to relaxing environment, exchanges....not enforced, these it resists and reacts to.... so playfulness and soothing activities really help . Right! I've had decades of stressed nervous system, hardly being authentic....
For some people staying away from social situations is the best thing. Society will flat out deny this because no one likes to admit that theyre bullies but if you have a certain look, appearance, hight or personality people are gonna treat you badly. Its a very painful truth but its still the truth
I think you make a very valid point. There are certain situations it's best to keep boundaries with. If certain people tend to display judgmental or bullying behaviors, I often advocate for walking away. The thing is to find our own 'tribe' and not to overgeneralize to 'all people or situations'.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy im not talking about a few people here and there this is the majority of people. Youre an average looking guy so i totally understand if this sounds unlikely to you but if youre short and "ugly" people will look down on you and treat you different. If youre in a group conversation people will ignore you if someone taller starts to talk. Its subtle so you have to experience it for yourself. If youre short you have to "earn your respect" but if youre on the average or tall side people will automatically respect you
No, thats not true my friend, you can have a big fat pork pie eater lets say selling on a martet stall shouting out, or a holliday rep leading people whatever, & their confident happy dont give a monkeys, alternatevly u can have a pretty girl all died hair & make up or a bodybuilding male, yet their never good enough in their own eyes,??!, Soo its about self perception, inside out, not outside in, (Think about it!?), trying to fix others opinions or veiws have nothing to do with you? (Unless of course someone attacks you, thats totally diff subject & can happen to anyone pork pie, or extra pretty girl or ego based body builder, think about it, its all about self perseption inside my friend, theres the problem, 👍
Avoiding situations that challenge ourselves isn't productive. It's the schizoid solution and doesn't generate any sort of growth or development. Let alone amazing experiences and opportunities that come with stepping out to the world.
Any success with handling anxiety, I'd love to hear your experiences. Any questions, feel free to ask below also. Thanks for watching!
"Don't fear the fear" helped me, finally. I would repeat that when I felt the fear. It's truthful advice.
I can sometimes reframe it as excitement. That doesn't always work, but when it does, it works fast.
Thanks for sharing here 🙏
dearest 70/30, you are kicking ass! i have been working for over 20 yrs in therapy and anxiety stays with me to this day. i try to kindly care for me to best deal with a stuation before it, in it and after it. and yes, sometimes, i let myself get out of it, if i know i need space that day. YOU are the most important here. david thank you for the acceptance part♥️AWESOME VIDEO
Thanks so much. You're very welcome 🙏
Beautiful piece of work David, super-helpful-useful, thank you;
You're very welcome 🙏
It’s a really difficult answer (to accept the anxiety) because when you suffer from an excess it really does get in the way of living life. For example at work sometimes it wrecks my confidence presenting, at home it wrecks my sleep, sometimes I have nightmares etc. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But I have had some success with acceptance and over time (a lot of time, and supported by a psychotherapist) I have experienced anxiety very gradually decreasing in intensity and frequency. Sometimes I even tap into some anger/frustration these days at the situations that cause anxiety, which feels like a win, as often it really is how people are acting that’s causing it, just as much as or more than the way my body is wired. My tendency is to blame everything on myself rather than seeing that other people do have some responsibility for how I feel. Thanks for the great reminder.
Sounds like you're doing great work 🙏🙏
And that it responds well, to relaxing environment, exchanges....not enforced, these it resists and reacts to.... so playfulness and soothing activities really help . Right!
I've had decades of stressed nervous system, hardly being authentic....
Thank you ❤️
For some people staying away from social situations is the best thing. Society will flat out deny this because no one likes to admit that theyre bullies but if you have a certain look, appearance, hight or personality people are gonna treat you badly. Its a very painful truth but its still the truth
I think you make a very valid point. There are certain situations it's best to keep boundaries with. If certain people tend to display judgmental or bullying behaviors, I often advocate for walking away. The thing is to find our own 'tribe' and not to overgeneralize to 'all people or situations'.
@@drdavidmaloneypsychotherapy im not talking about a few people here and there this is the majority of people. Youre an average looking guy so i totally understand if this sounds unlikely to you but if youre short and "ugly" people will look down on you and treat you different. If youre in a group conversation people will ignore you if someone taller starts to talk. Its subtle so you have to experience it for yourself. If youre short you have to "earn your respect" but if youre on the average or tall side people will automatically respect you
No, thats not true my friend, you can have a big fat pork pie eater lets say selling on a martet stall shouting out, or a holliday rep leading people whatever, & their confident happy dont give a monkeys, alternatevly u can have a pretty girl all died hair & make up or a bodybuilding male, yet their never good enough in their own eyes,??!, Soo its about self perception, inside out, not outside in, (Think about it!?), trying to fix others opinions or veiws have nothing to do with you? (Unless of course someone attacks you, thats totally diff subject & can happen to anyone pork pie, or extra pretty girl or ego based body builder, think about it, its all about self perseption inside my friend, theres the problem, 👍
@@seankelly4509 im not buyin it
Avoiding situations that challenge ourselves isn't productive. It's the schizoid solution and doesn't generate any sort of growth or development. Let alone amazing experiences and opportunities that come with stepping out to the world.
System when traumatised and held up in that energy, resists and yet invites what stresses it. Isn't it?