You won't find your personal style if you don't learn THIS first | Episode 55 Sustain This Podcast
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- Опубліковано 19 лип 2024
- Is there a silver bullet to finding your personal style? We don’t think so. But there is one style tip that will help you find your personal style if you’re struggling. Today’s conversation covers the importance of finding your sense of self and your identity, and the important role clothes play in expressing your authentic self - without being a slave to your closet.
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Chapters
00:00 Exploring Personal Style as an Expression of Self
03:03 The Impact of Personal Growth on Clothing Choices
08:06 Challenges of Experimenting with Style
12:18 Owning and Expressing Authentic Self Through Fashion
27:52 Practical Application: Experimenting with Style
33:33 Silent Communication: Clothes as Reflection of Values and Identity
CONTACT US: sustainthispodcast@gmail.com
SIGNE HANSEN
UA-cam: / @useless_dk
Website: www.uselesswardrobe.dk/
IG: / useless_dk
TT: / useless_wardrobe
CHRISTINA MYCHAS
UA-cam: / @christinamychas
Website: www.minimalist-ish.com/
IG: / christina.mychas
TT: / christina.mychas
ALYSSA BELTEMPO
UA-cam: / @alyssabeltempo
Website: msbeltempo.com/
IG: / msbeltempo
TT: / msbeltempo
If you loved this episode please share it on your stories and tag us! We love to see which episodes resonate with you and it helps to spread the word more than you know, xo - Навчання та стиль
As an older grey haired women who is dependent on supplementary nasal oxygen post Covid, my style words are visible, engaging and confident.
This includes addressing my posture, working out with my physio to maintain muscle strength and endurance and dressing for myself and showing up in the world.
No fading into the background because I have impairments.
Great comment.
Alyssa getting emotional about the piece of yourself you never got to express made me think about my 65 year old divorced SIL who grew up in a more conservative society. She is now loving her ballroom dancing and wears the most beautiful variety of gowns at her dances on Saturday evenings. She is experimenting with hair and make up and clothing with absolute delight and getting into great shape in the process. It’s wonderful to see. (She wears scrubs in the week.)
“a piece of yourself that you were conditioned to hide” this really hits home for me, I feel silly admitting that I missed out on being my own best friend, the one who gently pushes you and genuinely compliments you. Just for context I wore a maxi skirt for the first time in a long time and I felt insecure and excited at the same time and I survived! Lol. thank you ladies for this podcast and for who you are.
I really appreciate a couple of aspects of this discussion. 1) How you present yourself is a reflection of so many aspects of your life, personality, rolls you play, relationships, etc. It's not a 1 dimensional reflection of your aesthetic preferences. 2) Since your life changes over time, so too will your style. 3) The internet audience is very rough. For the most part, people IRL don't care what you wear very much. You can see that spending a very small amount of time out in public and watching other people -- there is a huge variety! Whatever you wear, you're just one more flavor. Thanks for this thoughtful discussion.
I can't wait to see these lovely and talented women when they reach their 50s and menopause. You want to know what authentic style is? It's when your hormones relieve you of caring about what others think and you simply get to be you, in all your creativity. You are never too much, because you are simply being you. Alyssa knows this in her heart. That's why she cried. I promise you will be everything you thought you could be when your childbearing hormones go away and you don't care what others think. And you know what I realized? I'm not a dress or skirt person!
The only dress I've worn for years was for my son's wedding, when the dress code demanded it. And I found one that worked for me, the weather and the venue. After menopause, I went back to the person I was in high school and college: big, goofy, experimental, avant garde, Japanese-influenced, rock chick, military, leather, 70s, masc/fem, pattern contrasts, moto, the creative looks I explored for years before my marriage, even as a kid. I didn't have to be a lady like my parents wished, or a PTA mom in my community. My secret life was finally revealed and it feels so right. Good luck on your own journeys.
Great episode, thnx for sharing. When I’d finished with perimenopause and was officially menopausal, I felt almost asexual or sexless. I cut my hair, and my wardrobe down to practical minimal garments and wore no jewellery. Then, after a year or so I saw myself in the mirror and realised I looked like a nun. No offence to nuns, they do great work, but that’s not who I was at all. It’s taken over 50 years but I finally feel like I know who I am and I’m comfortable and confident to dress and express that to the world. It’s not earth shattering but it’s me. Enjoy your style self-evolution =)
I feel the same. How did you get there?
I hear you LOUD & CLEAR! One thing I noticed to help with all the hot flashes and hormonal imbalances, I became more intentional with everything. My time. My purchases. My experiences. Wearing what makes me happy which meant breathable material in all 4 seasons where I live. Practical clothing with a pop of color. The earth has a rainbow of colors and we are all within that spectrum too. Even if it is one thing that reminds me of a time or place that makes me happy: an undergarment, an earring, necklace, handbag, shoe, makeup. Whatever it is, it’s aging with grace. We made it this far. We should celebrate we’re here.
@@nicoleh5305 understanding my colours helped me to know what suits me, then change up my wardrobe so that (almost) everything goes together, but mostly I think it’s just the confidence to carry off your choices, own them, and not give a hoot what others think. As I said it took me near 50 years to get that far, but if I can then so can you =)
That's so interesting what Alyssa said about dressing more "toned down" to balance her effervescent personality. I have often thought about that concept because my physique is super feminine and so I am drawn to modern, laid back, slightly masculine clothing. If I were to be wearing flowy, floral, feminine dresses it would feel saccharine and princessy to me. I notice that my friend who is more stocky naturally wears those types of dresses and it looks great on her. Maybe its "a thing" that we do to balance our look subconsciously.
Oh Alyssa, I wanted to give you a big hug when you had the feels - we've all been there, in one way or another ❤
When Alyssa mentioned “toning down” I do a similar thing but I think of it as wearing things to “ground myself” to prepare for a particular meeting or occasion. On other occasions I might choose to highlight a different part of my personality based on what I perceive my experience will be at that event. For example, the difference between a doctor’s appointment and a lunch with friends.
Alyssa is so right about the fact that we have energy/time to think about personal style is a huge privilege. That hit me hard. Thanks for this episode, it was great.
Thanks for another great episode! Would love to see an episode on self worth and how your buying is influenced by your self worth or lack thereof. For instance how much money you spend? What type of quality? What brands etc?
Great suggestion would appreciate this topic too ❤
The discussion around how we’ve been conditioned to behave or dress really resonated with me; before she even got emotional I was thinking, “who ever told Alyssa she was ‘too much’ Or needed to ‘tone it down?’” In my experience, there is a constant push and pull between dressing for physical and emotional comfort vs. experimentation through my life, and I would imagine for many women. I’ve gone from an awkward preteen dressing to disappear, to an NYC art student experimenting with loud styles and now a working mom in my 30s trying to find a balance somewhere in between. There’s nothing wrong with finding comfort in a familiar outfit on a tough day, yet doing so consistently makes me feel stifled and dull. By the same token, it’s great to experiment with a bold look but I try to be wary of doing it just for external validation. It’s so true that there is no final, complete version of our style and selves; being comfortable with living in that limbo is the challenge.
Love the more emotional, psychological and philosophical approach of this episode ❤ it is always special when you guys open up, we all connect. Personally, I use the way I dress to enhance those aspects of myself that are not so evident to others. But what I like the most is that can change and one day I use my style to do that and another to do the opposite. That works for the feminine/masculine tension, for example.
Happy birthday, Signe! 🎉
Very on point questions, Christina.🦄
Your honesty in this episode was gold, Alyssa. 💜
I think what affects anyone’s decision is where they are in life. Our style is not static. When in our 20s or after a big change (like Alyssa), we may be more bold. If we’re parenting, we may dress to be comfortable (like Signe). We aren’t all the same age, nor do we have the same lifestyle. Some people wear ballgowns because they go to those kinds of events. I don’t need a ballgown. We dtess for the life we have, the experiences we have, and the needs of our day. Drama or lack of drama has less to do with boldness or lack of boldness than with our lifestyle.
Alyssa 🫶 we feel you xxxx I found my style at the age of 50 after being medically retired through illness. Only then did I have the time to really concentrate on myself and find out who I am 😊
Alyssa, that outfit was brilliant. You looked so gorgeous. I think, especially more recently, I've noticed more and more negative comments are leeching through. I sometimes wonder if it is purely to have people react to their 💩! Each to their own. Let's lift each other up and stop hanging 💩 on each other. You don't have to have the same style to appreciate someone else's. I am so frustrated with this (can you tell? 🙄) Fantastic podcast. You three are amazing women, and I love your individuality. Alyssa, you've helped me so much post double mastectomy. You're all so encouraging of the concept, 'you do you'! I am immensely grateful to you all 💖 Keep up the great work. 💗 from Australia 🇦🇺
I have been watching you ladies in UA-cam independently and in this podcast. I have noticed that Alyssa tends to speak less in general. I think this fashion experiment did a lot for her! Thank you for sharing!
For me, backing off from social media and Pinterest helps me put the focus on what I instinctively gravitate towards, instead of being influenced to buy something or like it because it was presented to me. Not reaching for social media leads me to get inspiration where I found it as a teenager: movies, music and books. Fictional characters have a style to match a storyline and I think I end up connecting with the style of characters I relate to, so the result always feels authentic to me. And with music, somehow I can listen to a song and dress to feel the same way I do when I listen to it - so it's more of an internal process,. This works because as the day goes by I think of an outfit regarding how I felt in it, not how I looked. And when I think back on times when I felt fantastic, I don't exactly remember what I wore but I usually remember how I felt.
I’m lucky in a way that I’m a musician that performs a lot when it comes to style. I get to experiment with fashion by playing a character of sorts. And when you’re on stage nobody thinks anything of it if you’re dressed outrageously. But, I always feel like me and its a lot of fun!
I enjoyed hearing about different people’s views on dresses. I am a dress person, and I have been since I was a little girl. My mom said she bought me some cute pants outfits when I was 6 or 7, and I didn’t want to wear them, so she took me back to the store and let me choose. I chose a white dress with pink pintucking and a denim dress with little puffed flowered sleeves. I wore the heck out of them! I still wear dresses every day to work. I love them.
So much food for thought! I am 68 years old. The gift of aging is the potential to continue to learn who you are! When I look back over my life, I find my essential feelings and choices about clothes have been fairly consistent. Yes, bodies change, circumstances change, interests change…but, truly, what made me comfortable as a teen continues to make me comfortable. I love that I am still learning and I am even more interested in how my style represents me in an authentic way.
For me, it's about using my personal style as the opportunity to play based on how I feel that day, all within my 3 words - which are classic, bold, and put-together. And I dress for myself - attention or not, if I feel how I want to, then that's all that matters!
If I'm having a 'blah' mood or feeling uninspired, I can choose to either pull myself out of the funk by wearing something more bold or I can 'feel the feeling' and be more chill but use the 'put-together' concept so I don't feel sloppy. That's because I want to feel bold or put-together, not because I want others to think that I'm bold or put-together!
Well said😊
Omg what Alyssa said about learning to own/express a piece of yourself that you were conditioned to hide…so true!! That point really hit home for me. I love this podcast! 💕🙏🏽
I really liked the question about ‘dressing for attention’ and it made me think, that usually we grow up with that stereotype that we have to be quiet and ‘blend in’, because it is convenient for the society, maybe. But ‘dressing for attention’ is not a bad thing in my eyes, definitely🤗; because you can brighten someone’s day ❤ and also give them ‘permission’ to shine too ❤
This really resonates with me! Thank you! As an introvert who struggles with low energy and chronic pain, I often dress to go into the public in my "safe" clothes that don't draw attention. After losing 25 pounds I literally had nothing to wear for the summer. I got a color analysis and discovered I'm a bright winter but have avoided wearing bright colors and gravitated to navy, black and grey. I always felt something was missing though. However I found my 3 words thanks to you ladies I'm classic, minimal and romantic. I feel like I've been suppressing the romantic side in an effort to be taken more seriously as an older mom. I bought a number of dresses and brighter colored tops to experiment with the new colors and I'm loving it. Branching out, wearing them in public, and getting noticed. For instance I wore a flowy magenta v-neck top with a black cigarette pant. I felt surprisingly strange yet satisfied. I knew the outfit looked good and enhanced my coloring. I just continue to get to know myself better and embrace my style even at age 47. Ironically I'm discovering I am more of a dress person than I ever realized. It's just that it has to be the exact right proportions... knee length, specific types of neckline and sleeve in my colors. Finding the right pieces is worth the effort! I'm surprised at how many compliments I've been getting Although I'm not making changes for that reason.
Great podcast! Once I hit 50, I really found my true style. Bottom line, they are just clothes. Wear what makes you feel good about yourself. Experiment unconditionally and love yourself. True style comes from making your own outfits, not following someone else’s. I would love to hear more from Christina ❤. So quiet in recent podcasts 😮
There's an old saying "be comfortable in your own skin". I think this applies to our clothes too. Loving yourself allows you to wear what makes you happy. You three ladies are beautiful and I appreciate these videos, thank you.
Another awesome podcast! First, Alyssa you looked amazing in that look, good for you for expressing that part of yourself (and you are not too much, you are perfect the way you are!). And second, so much of this resonated with me, and at 60 I can tell you there is no question that your sense of style and self will continue to evolve throughout your life. For me, in my 50’s I became a lot more comfortable and aware of who I am. I also had more time, as my daughters are now young adults, and decided in 2019 to start looking more at my style and finding looks that felt more me. During early COVID I joined an online style group, and it was both a source of enormous support, and an awesome creative outlet. Now, I am moving beyond that group, and listening more to my own voice about this, and I am very inspired by the three of you. Thanks so much for doing what you do!
Thank you for another thought provoking episode. And yes, it IS a privilege to have the luxury of spending time, energy and money on deciding what part of yourself you want to show to the world. Some people never get that and sometimes we go through life phases in which it is not possible to prioritise this. It’s always fun to hear your thoughts!
This podcast resonated with me so much!!! So so so so good! Alyssa, what you said about being conditioned to hide parts of ourselves…wow. I cried as well. I didn’t even know that was a sore spot in my heart. ❤
Great episode! I had to let go of stereotypes connected to clothes to find my personal style. As a little child I wore dresses and skirts and enjoyed styling them - not princess dresses but for example a flower skirt combined with a black shirt. Or a toned down violet dress or I had two striped dresses in „librarian style“ I really loved and would still wear (maybe I could sew them). Then, at 8, I stopped wearing girly stuff at all because I didn’t want to be a princess. I was - and am - a pirate! I had to go into subcultures to start wearing dresses and skirts again. Now Jeans are a exception and just now I realize that I don’t enjoy wearing them. I sew a few comfortable jersey dresses or combine a colorful skirt with a very simple band shirt and I love it. Or - for cycling - loose, colorful cotton or linen pants. But I had at least 10 years of hating dresses, skirts and feminine clothes in general because of gender stereotypes. And another 5-8 years to really try out different styles and feeling confident in dresses or skirts. That’s sad. If I could go back I would tell little me that a dress doesn’t make you a princess and show her a few more practical ways to wear them (for example I sew jersey skirts with short pants built in to cycle or climb for my kids). You can like unicorns and dresses AND play football!
Would love to dig in a little more into Christina's question "why is it bad to dress for attention?" ... esp as women. How personal style/fashion can be a vessel for empowerment, feminism - and on the flip side bring criticism. Love unpacking the intersection of fashion and self image / how we move through the world ❤
Silent communication is probably the best communication like wear a graphic tee play your favourite music 🎶 express yourself to the world 🌎
I support a lot of animal rescues and I buy their tote bags to support them and show my values when I go out and about. Tote bags are cool and they usually feature great art/logos/mottos, e.g. Someone, not something; Rescue is my favourite breed, etc.
Alyssa, I have been told I am too much all my life. Guess what? It's not true.
Video reactor Polo Mars tag line resonates... Be yourself. They'll adjust.
When I was trying to figure out my 3 style words, I asked myself “how would I want my friends and family to describe me?” (Not how I looked, but how I was to be around). I ended on calm. Which helped me choose my word “easy-going” for my style. Loved this ep ❤ thank you. Big hugs to Alyssa for the tears 🩷 xoxo (also I’m not always calm, I wish I was 🤣🥴 - my “ideal” self)
Foo Fighters fans represent! Go Signe!
Such an important and interesting subject. Well done in discussing this which is certainly something women in particular have had to deal with. While there is a time and place for considering appropriate dressing, women have been told that there bodies and clothing are the reasons why they are attacked, what our values must be. Where we stand in our personal life, after childbirth, after divorce, etc. must affect our view of ourselves. Anyway keep up the great discussions 🌿🐨
ALYSSA YOU LOOK SO SO WONDERFUL IN THAT OUTFIT! IF I RAN INTO YOU ON THE STREET I WOULD SAY "WOW" THAT LOOKS FABULOUS! BUT ITS REALLY NOT ABOUT OTHERS ITS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR INNER BEAUTY AND HOW YOU FEEL AND WHAT GARMENTS PULL YOUR INNER BEAUTY TO THE SURFACE. LET IT SHINE LUV! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT! SO LUV THIS PODCAST AND THE AMAZING BLEND YOU THREE BRING TO US! HUGS
Within this year alone, I've noticed some shifts within my style without buying more clothes. Casual has definitely been placed in the center as one of my style keywords because I love wearing t-shirts. In the cooler months, I can dress them up or down with jeans, and in the summer, I can pair them easily with a pair of shorts. I think that now more than ever, simple has also become a keyword for me in my style, but I still like to feel polished/put together in some ways. Needless to say that when it comes to my style, I'm definitely in a good place right now, but I'm not the same person I was when I first got started on my journey.
Really good session! Very thought provoking . Happy belated birthday, Signe!
I agree with you Signe about graphic t shirts. I got a graphic T shirt with Haida Gwai artist print because I like to support indegenous art. Sometimes it feels good to support local artists. Great show ladies. I look forward to your podcasts
The comments in every video are just as interesting and lovely as watching this podcast/video
THANK YOU LADIES ❤ absolutely love this channel.
I second that! It's so touching and interesting to hear and read everyone's stories. It's with the openess with vulnerabilities that these 3 lovely ladies have created. Good vibes on this channel x
I am reevaluating my style - wardrobe right now because i retired + reduce my weight by 16 kilos + the city that i live is hotter … big challenge !! 😉🙌♥️♥️
Who am I as a grandmother retiree post breast cancer treatment less weight more weight a traveller . Not going regularly to a workplace was a new phase in figuring out life and identity and certainly clothes are a part of that. I no longer wear blazers much never much of a corporate dresser myself but now jackets are a thing for me boxy outdoorsy etc. the one or two blazers I still have are unlikely to make an appearance very often.
Like when your child gets older and your world does not revolve around them 100% anymore. I've been trying to figure out who I am again.
same❤
Brilliant podcast!!!!!
It's funny the feelings that clothes can stir up in us and the internal resistance we build to certain items. I feel like I'm not a "blazer person" or a "trench coat person". I own these items & when I see them on other people I think they look so chic but when I wear them I feel inside myself like I'm playing dress up, pretending to be more adult than I am. I don't know where these internal feelings come from because objectively the items look nice on me & I'm a 41 year old fully adult woman with children, career, house, husband so I should look like an adult but something in me resists these items & I invariably end up taking them off again before I leave the house 🤷🏻♀️
This may be getting a bit philosophical, but I always found starting with my “soft reality” convictions (or that about myself which is largely unchanging) and “hard reality” physical appearance to be good foundations for building personal expression/style.
For “soft reality,” these are the largely unchanging convictions that, no matter how I change and grow, I hold firm to in every season. One example for myself is “enigmatic.” No matter what happens in life, I deeply value discretion and mystery and moving through the world in self-selectively restrained way. No matter how I dress, I feel that conviction is always guiding my selection. So even if I wanted to feel sexier for a date night with the hubs, that “momentary emotional modifier” of “sexy” is always grounded in “enigmatic.” If that makes any sense at all. Haha.
For the “hard reality,” it’s simply using my relatively unchanging physical state as a jumping off point to assist in knowing how to start finding my style. Yes, no fashion rule is hard and fast, but for the person starting from the ground up, they can be helpful guides to get going. My skin tone is my skin tone. My eyes will always be the colour they are right now. I’m never going to be taller than my current height. My body lines are my lines (per Kibbe). A helpful place to start.
Thanks for sharing! : )
personal style is defo a journey. it will never stop. it depends on your lifestyle. 5 housewives style won't look the same. similar to 5 office workers, they won't have identical style.
I believe our personal style keep changing every 5 - 8 years. to have high quality garments sometimes makes me wonder, will I still wear this 3 years from now? if you only wear a few times, the cost per wear of expensive clothes just doesn't worth it. I think that's why choosing middle prices would help.
an anecdote : since I'm obsessed with fashion topic, I always observe people around me. I just love looking at how my people dress up. one particular person that caught my attention is my sister. I'm not saying this to be mean but we all can agree, the way she dress is frumpy. granted she's a housewife, have a really really tiny business which she bake cookies, sometimes cakes. most of her lifestyle just stay at home, fetch her son & daughter from school. so her outfit is very very simple, long sleeve t shirt, jeans and instant hijab (i live in malaysia). that's pretty much her entire wardrobe. it's rarely to see her dress up, not even on special occasion... except for Eid, we wear traditional clothes but that's like once a year 😂
anyway, one thing I want to bring up, recently we have relatives wedding. supposedly you would dress up right? like the most beautiful women. but no she's wearing that long sleeve t shirt, slack trousers & instant hijab 😭 I would say that's a bit inappropriate to such a formal event but here she is... i honestly felt sorry for her bcos her lifestyle is really monotonous, her financial also does not give her freedom to buy some nice clothes. but somehow she's OK with that. I remember how she was all dressed up, make up when she was in her 20s - 30s. but now with 3 kids, she's like whatever 🥲 I cannot imagine how some people have no sense of style and they're ok with it
Excellent. Very moving and relatable.
I’m still pretty much a beginner after a lot of complicated life changes, but I think aspects of essence come through no matter what you wear - in my case, ethereal and natural, in Alyssa’s, dramatic. So you can either enhance it or intentionally contrast it. But if I do something really at odds with who I am, it just looks bizarre.
Comment #3 from me on this video!!
I think one of the important aspects of the capsule is playing with your accessories and styling (cuffs, collars, tucks, ties.) to extend the variety of looks. This step can also help to key in on aspects of your style.
Ie. You always belt and wear earrings, never reach for scarves or bracelets. Don't choose that blouse Eben when you only have 5 to choose from.
On the comment about too much choice, I feel this is part of perfectionism in my personality. I've learnt that there is more than one right answer, nobody is going to care what you rejected and as long as it appeals to me in that moment, it is the right choice.
I have been doing monthly capsules for the past 10 months, and it has been so much fun. I put my capsule in a separate smaller closet and get dressed from there. It has been really enjoyable to set color palettes (I am a color person!) and try different outfit combinations. It has also made it a lot easier to let go of things that aren’t working because I can clearly see, No, I don’t enjoy wearing this and I don’t want it taking up room in my capsule!
Tillykke med födselsdagen Signe❤
Regarding other people's opinions on your outfit Alyssa, if anyone feels the need to comment negatively, it's usually a projection of their own inner insecurity, so don't take it personally. If I see a woman in public whose style I like I always make a point of complimenting her outfit. Style is so subjective but I love seeing women wear outfits that have some level of contrast that stands out or a quirkiness in dressing. Taking style risks is so empowering.
You did it…afraid… anyway! Life is for the living. Good for you! Naysayers will only have regrets.
Why is it that certain things women are not ”allowed” to be and if they are then they will be described with negativ words?!? A man is seldom described as loud! Well unless he actually is screaming or singing in a very high manner, disturbing others. Women though, if they say what they want, take up space in any form of way or dress the way they like and that means that people notice them…. then they are loud! I note that I tone myself down, or did but now I try not too. So even if I know people are just going to be in jeans I will wear a dress or pants if I feel like it. I don’t think anyone should have to tone down what they like in cloths or any other kind of area, just to fit in or not to be too loud! Then how good friends are they if you can’t be yourself! We need to let everyone do/be themselves! Good podcast as alway!
Another amazing episode!i've been going through some changes and it's been so positive so listen to you guys!thank you
I think it would be a very beneficial exercise to explore your personal style and define it with 3 words at 18. If I look back at that time I knew who I was, what I liked, and many of those elements are still expressed in my personal style now. Not to say your expression of your style doesn't change, but then you can revise your 3 words.
I think it's so easy to be derailed by people telling you what your basics should be, trends, negative comments etc.
Was it this channel that said for fashion to be sustainable we should only be purchasing 5 new items per year? I think spending some time exploring your personal style sustainably when you're young through pinterest, trying on clothing, watching channels such as this can only be beneficial.
Very interesting topic. It helped me a lot. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas. 😊 xxx
I really enjoyed this episode. Interesting discussion.
Why not dress for attention? I am an introvert and not really comfortable with having a lot of engagement from strangers. Nevertheless, I have extroverted friends who love it.
I think when someone makes comments or thinks judgements about another person, they are saying more about themselves thaN the person they commented on.
I use a wheelchair - However, I am interested in personal style and I showed a friend some outfits I’ve been styling on an app - she said yes but you don’t where them like that and I felt her remark was both a bit ablist and somehow derogatory. I’m not quite sure what to do with that feeling.
Check out Carla Rockmore. You can take up as much space as you like.
You will likely inspire others. But I also agree with choosing not to highlight something. That is not inauthenticity, it is discernment.
Learning to own a piece of yourself that you were conditioned to hide - I think that exactly describes why there is a need for some to find their "personal style". On a similar note - for me the fantasy self is the person I wish to be, and maybe could be if I were bold enough to take the risk of standing out. AKA owning that piece of myself.
Lately, I'm using my stand out items as my styles visual language (moody colors, quality fabrics with nice textures, striking silhouettes and understated details) then working to build wearable outfits for my day-to-day life ( gym, gardening, errands, motherhood, travel ) using these filters. So I'm not wearing my vintage chocolate brown fur coat often, but that coat represents a part of my soul in a way that nothing else can.
As a single mom, my clothing became "functional," such as T-shirts and jeans. I have 1 dress to remind myself that it's ok to be a woman once in a while.
Do you have any recommendations for girlies working from home? No one ever gets to see my cute clothes so I'm less inclined to dress in anything other than comfy items!