I think it would be a very fun challenge if you three could make like a small exercise where you take one/two pieces from your closet that you have trouble styling, and you use these "contrast techniques" to try and obtain outfits that match your personal style! A bit like "putting this podcast to practice"... Would you do it? I'd love to see it!
Honestly, there is style and yes, I do ask "does it go". Sometimes things are so deliberately mismatched that it's a look (sweatpants/Mary Jane's as Cristina said), but frankly, some "high contrast" looks are just plain clownish. Dress as you want, but "does it go" is a totally valid question.
I absolutely get what Alyssa's saying about an outfit looking/feeling too contrived. When I feel as if I look like I've tried too hard, it gives me the ick. Not sure what this says about me. 😂 P.S. It's not related to looking too dramatic, sexy, etc. It's more about having this drama or sexiness look accidental...
Maybe this is because when we put this type of outfit together we are super focused on how it looks vs building the outfit based on how it feels? At least this is what happens to me when Im focused super hard on trying to achieve a certain look. Your intuition about putting together elements of an outfit I think is super important!
Totally! Everything in the last few years now feels so contrived; the perfect cookie cutter Influencer look now feels so overly-curated and dated. It’s so refreshing we’re embracing contrast / tension / wabi sabi and looking for authenticity in our own UNIQUE style.
In my personal opinion, a look feels contrived when (1) the main goal of the outfit is disjointed juxtaposition and not balanced contrast/interesting style (ie. rubber boots and a cocktail dress BECAUSE it’s different, not because it’s an expression of true style) and (2) the overall result has absolutely no connection to practicality or your personal existence in the world (ie. where in the world would you wear rubber boots and a cocktail dress?). It’s the difference between someone who wears something wild and hyper-specific for a single, situational Instagram photo/brand marketing poster versus an interesting outfit that the person ACTUALLY wears in everyday life. Some outfits/combos are clearly for the impractical moment and not the practical reality.
I would love to see you all take literally the same three items of clothing and style them individually according to your 3 words (by using shoes, bags, accessories, etc) to create contrast. That could be a super nice styling episode!
I feel a look is contrived when it's not authentic and reflecting who I am. We all have different ways of feeling on a given day, but if I feel like what I'm wearing is more of a costume than a reflection of me, that's when I know something isn't right.
As a 58 year-young woman, I would never wear top-to-bottom classic/ladylike - it's too ageing on me. I always mix and match and as Christina said, it's a wonderful way to show your style and personality. I definitely don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, effortless is the key, and I need to feel comfortable with what I wear, in the sense that each element feels like "it's me", I've worn it before, it feels good on my body. I love denim, it's been my style since childhood, and also corduroy, that I consider the winter version of denim (I actually have a couple of denim-colour corduroy pants, jacket, etc.). I like a balance of style/colours in an outfit, nothing too showy or dramatic, I don't want to draw attention to myself. If I wear a ladylike tweed jacket, I might choose one with frayed hems or pair it with a levi's denim tote bag, and I would not buy a tweed jacket with gold buttons - too ladylike and classic (and militaristic) for me. If I wear boyfriend style jeans, I might accessorise with a pussybow blouse and an elegant structured suede bag. I wear classic jeans with black shiny patent mary-janes.
Another great video! I think that the contrast dressing requires playfulness and creativity as well as time. When we're In a hurry and rushing, Creativity shuts down. This type of styling doesn't come naturally without practice. I have a new top that checks all the boxes for me. It's a medium blue chambray button up sleeveless flowy collared top. Perfect for the summer heat. But I have struggled to pair it with any of my bottoms. I tried on everything I had, and I landed on a black lightweight knit pencil skirt. I think it creates the perfect contrast for me. The skirt added the feminine aspect that's missing in the top which is more classic and almost masculine. I'm overjoyed to be learning these things from you ladies.
When I was at University way back in the late 60's, jeans were becoming the student "uniform." What to do with all those pretty blouses that were to "go with" skirts? I wore them with jeans and what you now call "contrast dressing," my roommate and I called "incongruous dressing."😂. Fast forward many years and I now wear my Doc Marten-type boots with my tulle skirt and a jean jacket. Such fun! By the way, Dearly Bethany did a fantastic style wheel in her course (which I highly recommend) and talked about choosing elements across the wheel, similar to opposites on the color wheel, to bring in contrasting elements to make your style your own.
I LOVE contrast dressing. I especially love mixing the feminine with the masculine. i once wore a purple velvet turtleneck & silver sparkly necklace with masculine tailored trousers, a waistcoat & loafers. The texture of velvet with the sparkles looks so feminine & then the masculine tailoring & shoes just balances everything. I got so many compliments & felt amazing.
Your physical appearance could also be a contrast. If you are petite and „feminine“ looking e.g with long curly hair then it’s a bigger contrast to dress in menswear as if you were looking tall and broad and wear the same.
I am loving this conversation! Especially the fact that you're exploring the imperfections of the words we use to describe what are really artistic elements of our personal style. I hear your words in my head as I am getting dressed in the morning so please know that these conversations are definitely helping your listeners! 😊🙏
As Christina was saying we used to make clothes and accessories "go together". I cannot pinpoint when the concept of contrast came about but I remember noticing people on the street wearing contrasting styles and I could not decide if it was done on purpose or if the person was making a fashion "faux pas"
I get the trying too hard thing. Thanks Alyssa for validating that. My modifier is doesn’t look like I tried too hard! That smacks of vanity for me personally.
You articulate your style techniques and practices so well.. as you talk together you are able to reach deeper contemplation and raise very important questions to ask oneself … whether things “go together” is subjective to the wearer. We all carry different perspectives and the options are endless.
I tend to have some kind of contrast most of the time, but as a soft color type, I tend to combine muted or tonal colors. Today I wore a crisp, tailored shirt but paired it with white jeans to keep it more casual. So that I didn’t go too casual, my shoes were tweed pointed toe flats. I really like texture and think of each element as texture, so the shirt was crisp and detailed, the jeans soft, and the shoes soft because they were a light tweed but also structured so they brought the top and jeans together. That isn’t high drama, but it all felt good together. I do think how we feel in an outfit is the most important thing, and like you have said, what works will be different for everyone.
This is such a good topic. One of my three words is soft, and it is where I find my answer to what level of contrast I personally adhere 🙌🏻. I love to have at least some contrast to my outfits always, but usually it is based in comfort, I choose comfortable shoes even with dresses, because I walk a lot, but as for colour even blue and black is a harsh combination for me. I lean into soft colour combinations more ❤ Thank you for another cool podcast, I enjoyed it a lot 🫶🏻
Hey! Actually I was waiting for the 3 colour rule. I find this is a super helpful style tip if you are struggling with styling an item or colours and creating contrast. I find this almost always works. For example an all black, very minimal outfit with a pop of red in the bag and then silver or beige shoes (exactly like adding red nail polish). You get the contrast simply by adding or removing a small item but it creates an immediate visual impact.
Great discussion! I often think about how much contrast I want in my colours (high or low, very little in the middle), but I am intrigued to use my three words for more contrast, as well as proportions. Thank you!
I like to contrast colour, shape (taking my frame & face into account), and/or masculine/feminine. I don’t contrast formality through separate items (but I like things like sports luxe via a satin stripe down cuffed jogging bottoms). Comfort & practicality are always paramount. I agree with what others have commented: does this outfit go with me? I’ve been working on balancing looking strong/capable/authoritative with looking approachable lately. I can’t wear beige/camel as a main colour, especially near my face without enough of a dark colour in between, unless I want people to think I’m ill. I have to use a lot of contrast there.
I loved this discussion as it encapsulated my feelings about this styling approach. As I was listening, the yin and yang symbol kept popping up in my head as it seemed to have all the contrast elements you were discussing - colour, sharpness/softness and balance. I am going to try using that symbol in the future to build my outfits.
I dress very casually and I do a lot of my contrast with fabric. Like a wool or a silk tshirt with nylon pants or jeans. I also tend to dress very neutrally but then my main purse is a chartreuse fake leather waist bag.
I have a bright winter color type, but I don't like to wear too many colors simultaneously.(as usually color analyst advice) So my key is to wear some basic ones (white, black, grey, light blue/pink/yellow or purple) with some really bright ones like - only 1 at the same time - red, pink, Yves Klein Blue, bright yellow and turquoise and I think the end result is great and could be elegant and flamboyant at the same time. That's my contrast. What is the beige/nude color for a bright winter color type? Can you direct me somewhere where I can get it?
I just did a binge catch up session on your podcast last weekend and left a comment about contrast so I was excited to see this. I can't remember where I heard it, it may have been Christina, but someone said something to the effect of an outfit doesn't feel like me if I feel like the outfit is wearing me. So if you want to do something like wear a set of track pants, heels and a blazer but it doesn't feel like you, I'd suggest taking inspo from the look but tailor it to yourself. If I were taking inspo from this I think I'd instead go with a pair of joggers, a cardigan and ballet flats or a cute pair of boots. I don't like wearing track pants, blazers or heels, but I do like wearing joggers, a cardigan and ballet flats or a cute pair of boots. Edit: Loafers! I just recently decided to give loafers a go. I kinda like it. It's like a more sophisticated version of a ballet flat. It would be interesting to hear about how you style accessories or makeup with your outfits. I personally love to go all out on my eyes. Sometimes its a very multichrome and sparkly look. Sometimes it's a very neutral bronze or taupe look with some sparkle. I have found I look best in mid tones or with a high contrast in my eye look with a pastel or bright color if I go smokey. I see that all 3 of you have very neutral makeup looks, but I get the feeling you all like lipstick. What choices are you making with your lipstick? A neutral nude, a bold pink, berry, coral, purple, orange or red? Do you have a signature color? When do you decide to go bold? Why?
I chose an RL white eye lid cotton maxi skirt to wear on Fathers Day.The skirt was the show piece, no lie. I added a Led Zeppelin gray t-shirt fitted. I added my uggs wide criss cross silver slippers. I wasn't prepared for what happened next, but I was literally approached by so many people complimenting my outfits. 😊❤
I wonder if Alyssa would be more comfortable wearing the white dress with a similar boot but in brown or grey? That is the tweak that I think might make the outfit feel more comfortable. Or a similar style of dress in a different color with the same boot?
My sister, who lives in Australia was visiting the UK last December. She really couldn’t get her head around me wearing an old fur coat, of our mother’s, with a pair of Doc Martins…I wasn’t sure if no one else commented as they were just too polite. I shall now just call that contrast dressing 🙂.
I do work in finance and have a hard time using this concept getting dressed. I want to have tension and balance in my outfits but am limited in the choices.
Maybe more of a contrast in fabric textures or colours rather than style (dressy vs casual) ie silky fabrics with rougher like Tweed or cord a leather belt/ shoe? Patten shoe with a linen texture clothing?
Imo a LOT of Insta fashion influencers look super contrived. There is nothing effortless about their look. It almost looks artificial. I think it takes a lot of skill to dress for your style words with contrast, but not cross the line to this weird zone where it looks like ChatGPT picked your outfit based on current trends.
I think it would be a very fun challenge if you three could make like a small exercise where you take one/two pieces from your closet that you have trouble styling, and you use these "contrast techniques" to try and obtain outfits that match your personal style! A bit like "putting this podcast to practice"... Would you do it? I'd love to see it!
Honestly, there is style and yes, I do ask "does it go". Sometimes things are so deliberately mismatched that it's a look (sweatpants/Mary Jane's as Cristina said), but frankly, some "high contrast" looks are just plain clownish. Dress as you want, but "does it go" is a totally valid question.
I absolutely get what Alyssa's saying about an outfit looking/feeling too contrived. When I feel as if I look like I've tried too hard, it gives me the ick. Not sure what this says about me. 😂
P.S. It's not related to looking too dramatic, sexy, etc. It's more about having this drama or sexiness look accidental...
Maybe this is because when we put this type of outfit together we are super focused on how it looks vs building the outfit based on how it feels? At least this is what happens to me when Im focused super hard on trying to achieve a certain look. Your intuition about putting together elements of an outfit I think is super important!
Totally! Everything in the last few years now feels so contrived; the perfect cookie cutter Influencer look now feels so overly-curated and dated. It’s so refreshing we’re embracing contrast / tension / wabi sabi and looking for authenticity in our own UNIQUE style.
In my personal opinion, a look feels contrived when (1) the main goal of the outfit is disjointed juxtaposition and not balanced contrast/interesting style (ie. rubber boots and a cocktail dress BECAUSE it’s different, not because it’s an expression of true style) and (2) the overall result has absolutely no connection to practicality or your personal existence in the world (ie. where in the world would you wear rubber boots and a cocktail dress?). It’s the difference between someone who wears something wild and hyper-specific for a single, situational Instagram photo/brand marketing poster versus an interesting outfit that the person ACTUALLY wears in everyday life. Some outfits/combos are clearly for the impractical moment and not the practical reality.
I would love to see you all take literally the same three items of clothing and style them individually according to your 3 words (by using shoes, bags, accessories, etc) to create contrast. That could be a super nice styling episode!
Maybe the question is, does it go with me?
I feel a look is contrived when it's not authentic and reflecting who I am. We all have different ways of feeling on a given day, but if I feel like what I'm wearing is more of a costume than a reflection of me, that's when I know something isn't right.
As a 58 year-young woman, I would never wear top-to-bottom classic/ladylike - it's too ageing on me. I always mix and match and as Christina said, it's a wonderful way to show your style and personality. I definitely don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, effortless is the key, and I need to feel comfortable with what I wear, in the sense that each element feels like "it's me", I've worn it before, it feels good on my body. I love denim, it's been my style since childhood, and also corduroy, that I consider the winter version of denim (I actually have a couple of denim-colour corduroy pants, jacket, etc.). I like a balance of style/colours in an outfit, nothing too showy or dramatic, I don't want to draw attention to myself. If I wear a ladylike tweed jacket, I might choose one with frayed hems or pair it with a levi's denim tote bag, and I would not buy a tweed jacket with gold buttons - too ladylike and classic (and militaristic) for me. If I wear boyfriend style jeans, I might accessorise with a pussybow blouse and an elegant structured suede bag. I wear classic jeans with black shiny patent mary-janes.
Dear, I think you are (style wise) who I aspire to be. Thank you for this comment 😊
Another great video! I think that the contrast dressing requires playfulness and creativity as well as time. When we're In a hurry and rushing, Creativity shuts down. This type of styling doesn't come naturally without practice. I have a new top that checks all the boxes for me. It's a medium blue chambray button up sleeveless flowy collared top. Perfect for the summer heat. But I have struggled to pair it with any of my bottoms. I tried on everything I had, and I landed on a black lightweight knit pencil skirt. I think it creates the perfect contrast for me. The skirt added the feminine aspect that's missing in the top which is more classic and almost masculine. I'm overjoyed to be learning these things from you ladies.
When I was at University way back in the late 60's, jeans were becoming the student "uniform." What to do with all those pretty blouses that were to "go with" skirts? I wore them with jeans and what you now call "contrast dressing," my roommate and I called "incongruous dressing."😂. Fast forward many years and I now wear my Doc Marten-type boots with my tulle skirt and a jean jacket. Such fun! By the way, Dearly Bethany did a fantastic style wheel in her course (which I highly recommend) and talked about choosing elements across the wheel, similar to opposites on the color wheel, to bring in contrasting elements to make your style your own.
I LOVE contrast dressing. I especially love mixing the feminine with the masculine. i once wore a purple velvet turtleneck & silver sparkly necklace with masculine tailored trousers, a waistcoat & loafers. The texture of velvet with the sparkles looks so feminine & then the masculine tailoring & shoes just balances everything. I got so many compliments & felt amazing.
Your physical appearance could also be a contrast. If you are petite and „feminine“ looking e.g with long curly hair then it’s a bigger contrast to dress in menswear as if you were looking tall and broad and wear the same.
I am loving this conversation! Especially the fact that you're exploring the imperfections of the words we use to describe what are really artistic elements of our personal style. I hear your words in my head as I am getting dressed in the morning so please know that these conversations are definitely helping your listeners! 😊🙏
As Christina was saying we used to make clothes and accessories "go together". I cannot pinpoint when the concept of contrast came about but I remember noticing people on the street wearing contrasting styles and I could not decide if it was done on purpose or if the person was making a fashion "faux pas"
I get the trying too hard thing. Thanks Alyssa for validating that. My modifier is doesn’t look like I tried too hard! That smacks of vanity for me personally.
You articulate your style techniques and practices so well.. as you talk together you are able to reach deeper contemplation and raise very important questions to ask oneself … whether things “go together” is subjective to the wearer. We all carry different perspectives and the options are endless.
I tend to have some kind of contrast most of the time, but as a soft color type, I tend to combine muted or tonal colors. Today I wore a crisp, tailored shirt but paired it with white jeans to keep it more casual. So that I didn’t go too casual, my shoes were tweed pointed toe flats. I really like texture and think of each element as texture, so the shirt was crisp and detailed, the jeans soft, and the shoes soft because they were a light tweed but also structured so they brought the top and jeans together. That isn’t high drama, but it all felt good together. I do think how we feel in an outfit is the most important thing, and like you have said, what works will be different for everyone.
This is such a good topic. One of my three words is soft, and it is where I find my answer to what level of contrast I personally adhere 🙌🏻. I love to have at least some contrast to my outfits always, but usually it is based in comfort, I choose comfortable shoes even with dresses, because I walk a lot, but as for colour even blue and black is a harsh combination for me. I lean into soft colour combinations more ❤ Thank you for another cool podcast, I enjoyed it a lot 🫶🏻
Hey! Actually I was waiting for the 3 colour rule. I find this is a super helpful style tip if you are struggling with styling an item or colours and creating contrast. I find this almost always works. For example an all black, very minimal outfit with a pop of red in the bag and then silver or beige shoes (exactly like adding red nail polish). You get the contrast simply by adding or removing a small item but it creates an immediate visual impact.
Great discussion! I often think about how much contrast I want in my colours (high or low, very little in the middle), but I am intrigued to use my three words for more contrast, as well as proportions. Thank you!
I like to contrast colour, shape (taking my frame & face into account), and/or masculine/feminine. I don’t contrast formality through separate items (but I like things like sports luxe via a satin stripe down cuffed jogging bottoms). Comfort & practicality are always paramount. I agree with what others have commented: does this outfit go with me? I’ve been working on balancing looking strong/capable/authoritative with looking approachable lately. I can’t wear beige/camel as a main colour, especially near my face without enough of a dark colour in between, unless I want people to think I’m ill. I have to use a lot of contrast there.
I loved this discussion as it encapsulated my feelings about this styling approach. As I was listening, the yin and yang symbol kept popping up in my head as it seemed to have all the contrast elements you were discussing - colour, sharpness/softness and balance. I am going to try using that symbol in the future to build my outfits.
I dress very casually and I do a lot of my contrast with fabric. Like a wool or a silk tshirt with nylon pants or jeans. I also tend to dress very neutrally but then my main purse is a chartreuse fake leather waist bag.
I have a bright winter color type, but I don't like to wear too many colors simultaneously.(as usually color analyst advice) So my key is to wear some basic ones (white, black, grey, light blue/pink/yellow or purple) with some really bright ones like - only 1 at the same time - red, pink, Yves Klein Blue, bright yellow and turquoise and I think the end result is great and could be elegant and flamboyant at the same time. That's my contrast.
What is the beige/nude color for a bright winter color type? Can you direct me somewhere where I can get it?
I just did a binge catch up session on your podcast last weekend and left a comment about contrast so I was excited to see this.
I can't remember where I heard it, it may have been Christina, but someone said something to the effect of an outfit doesn't feel like me if I feel like the outfit is wearing me. So if you want to do something like wear a set of track pants, heels and a blazer but it doesn't feel like you, I'd suggest taking inspo from the look but tailor it to yourself. If I were taking inspo from this I think I'd instead go with a pair of joggers, a cardigan and ballet flats or a cute pair of boots. I don't like wearing track pants, blazers or heels, but I do like wearing joggers, a cardigan and ballet flats or a cute pair of boots.
Edit: Loafers! I just recently decided to give loafers a go. I kinda like it. It's like a more sophisticated version of a ballet flat.
It would be interesting to hear about how you style accessories or makeup with your outfits. I personally love to go all out on my eyes. Sometimes its a very multichrome and sparkly look. Sometimes it's a very neutral bronze or taupe look with some sparkle. I have found I look best in mid tones or with a high contrast in my eye look with a pastel or bright color if I go smokey.
I see that all 3 of you have very neutral makeup looks, but I get the feeling you all like lipstick. What choices are you making with your lipstick? A neutral nude, a bold pink, berry, coral, purple, orange or red? Do you have a signature color? When do you decide to go bold? Why?
I chose an RL white eye lid cotton maxi skirt to wear on Fathers Day.The skirt was the show piece, no lie. I added a Led Zeppelin gray t-shirt fitted. I added my uggs wide criss cross silver slippers. I wasn't prepared for what happened next, but I was literally approached by so many people complimenting my outfits. 😊❤
Oop's I forgot to mention my Ray-Bans John Lennon sunglasses..😊
I wonder if Alyssa would be more comfortable wearing the white dress with a similar boot but in brown or grey? That is the tweak that I think might make the outfit feel more comfortable. Or a similar style of dress in a different color with the same boot?
Enjoyed the video.
My sister, who lives in Australia was visiting the UK last December. She really couldn’t get her head around me wearing an old fur coat, of our mother’s, with a pair of Doc Martins…I wasn’t sure if no one else commented as they were just too polite. I shall now just call that contrast dressing 🙂.
That sounds like a normal outfit in London tbh, don’t feel like anyone was judging you.
I do work in finance and have a hard time using this concept getting dressed. I want to have tension and balance in my outfits but am limited in the choices.
Maybe more of a contrast in fabric textures or colours rather than style (dressy vs casual) ie silky fabrics with rougher like Tweed or cord a leather belt/ shoe? Patten shoe with a linen texture clothing?
Imo a LOT of Insta fashion influencers look super contrived. There is nothing effortless about their look. It almost looks artificial. I think it takes a lot of skill to dress for your style words with contrast, but not cross the line to this weird zone where it looks like ChatGPT picked your outfit based on current trends.