Become a Supporting Member and gain access to exclusive videos and courses): academyofideas.com/members/ Join through PayPal or Credit Card (payments processed by Stripe) ==== Recommended Readings: Academy of Ideas Bookstore - academyofideas.com/store/ ==== Find the transcript (and a gallery of the art work) here: academyofideas.com/2019/04/overcome-downward-pull-of-other-people/
Michael Jensen oddly enough any alone time I deal with is self imposed. Since I’ve taken up the advice in these videos I’ve seen that people are more drawn to me
@@Kakashi75 Having standards is always a good thing. It will leave you however with very few people to associate with. People being drawn to you is not always desirable. But a young man with a big ego may enjoy that type of thing. Perhaps you can pose as a philosopher. Part a becoming an adult is learning to mix with people of all kinds without taking up their attitudes, habits, behavior and qualities. That comes with a strong sense of personal identity, knowing yourself and experience.
Michael Jensen oh definitely it took my up until last year until I formed enough of a personality where I stopped letting other people’s ideas, emotions and criticisms (usually in bad faith) rule my perceptions. The only reason I find it important that I’m like able is because I seek political power to help others
Wow 😳 thank you so much for writing this on here. I c what I’ve been doing & I have to control me! 😬I know it’s a challenge but I couldn’t figure out my anxiety 🤯& now I c why I have it. ☺️ a million thanks for the quote🙏🏼
Truth be told, I finally know what it's like to be brought down to somebody else's level. He just got a pretty big inheritance...and, if I was a shitbag I'd take advantage of that fact, but right now integrity means more....
Now thats what a real self-help channel looks like. Good old philosophy made relevant with todays culture. No background music. No flashy cuts and edits of people with dreamy eyes looking outside a window. No over the top vocal fluctuations in speech. No big claims. No testimonials. No sales pitches embedded in message. Just plain and simple truth told with such compassion. Arts slideshow is a bonus. Thank you for making such a beautiful and genuine channel.
I dont trust modern therapy for this reason. They don't teach you this stuff. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life, mostly due to peer pressure, and my social environment making me think there was something wrong with me, and I always knew that something was wrong with the mental Healthcare system. They teach you at best to suppress your emotions. At least, in my experience. I've not once had a therapist that uses these talking points. Giving me information I can process and understand rather than try to tell me to control my breathing and suppress my symptoms by means of medication and such
OCD, trauma and a family of broken, mentally ill people (narcissistic, bipolar, autistic, depressed) is a collective bitch. I've found some ways to deal with it, but in most ways, it's too little too late. I've sabotaged my life and my family's, as they have me. The collective failure is a staggering black comedy when you look at the whole portrait. I love and pity my parents, but neither were mentally equipped to raise a boy, let alone three. Fairly certain I'm devolving into the histrionic self-made martyr my father has always been... I'm wholly dependent on them.
I live at a homeless shelter & I'm constantly surrounded by negative people in many different ways. I try to keep in mind what Jordan Peterson sez "endure without being corrupted!" Life is a daily challenge & I try to sympathize & not demonize. Pray for me🌵☦🌵
@Anders Anderson for the most part things are good though due to the pandemic noone is hiring right now. I just need to be patient. I'm still staying at the homeless shelter but I'm making the best of it. I try to be helpful like sweeping/mopping the dorms or bathrooms. Thanks for responding!🌵😺🌵
Wish you all the best! As a little advice from me: consider starting a business also. Learning about business consulting and starting a business in this direction is a good and relatively fast way to get the cash going. 1. Learn everything about copywriting, business building, marketing psychology you can. 2. After months of learning, start to offer your services for free to businesses wich you think you can help. 3. Collect reviews and ratings from this businesses about your work to have prove of your professionalism. 4. Start to offer your services for money. Trough this system you can learn and offer every service you want. I took business consulting as an example because it's one of the most profitable. Plus you must invest no money. Maybe get a suit and some papers to look professional and that's all. All the knowledge you can find online
Better to be alone, than surrounded by false friends & Toxic Family members. Stop letting these people drag you down. Walk away. Go NO CONTACT. Find yourself. Find a better circle of friends. Live your life for yourself, not others. Somewhere along the way, you will realize you are happy.
@@DjZephy I did the same in 2016. It's no better for me, but it's no worse either. I'm very introverted, so it's difficult making friends, especially at my age. Having been 7 years free of their lies, schemes, hypocrisy, etc. HAS been _much better_ than living with it everyday!!! I don't have the joyous carefree life I hoped for, but at least I'm free of their gaslighting, and ploys, and guilt trips, etc. etc. That alone makes it worth it.👍
It took me a lifetime to realise that people can only measure you by their own standards because that’s all they have as a yard stick. Realise that another’s limitations are not yours. Don’t be held back by the people afraid you’ll leave them behind.
That's well said Green. I recently heard a comment made by a acquaintance about my character from a common friend. I listened and was ready with a reply, but then realized I was being defensive. I could explain all I wanted but I'd keep going on explaining myself to anyone I know. The comment was made by someone based on his thinking, so I wouldn't and needn't change it, everyone is entitled to their opinions. YOu've said it really beautifully ❤.. gonna steal your line 😜
It's how you react that counts!!! People may mock and ridicule, but they dont know you, only you know you, so keep going.....Fall down nine times, get up ten..Dont ever give into lifes misery!!!
@@S1eep1ess -- make sure to self examine. It's about being a good honest human. It might work to NOT fully cut off family but to monitor your reactions and minimize accordingly. I wish and pray my family find the Truth. As a Christian I pray for their souls.
@@johnblasiak607 thank you John. I did something I don't normally do on July 4th when I was invited to fly out there to see my mother after another problem that she had caused for me a month earlier and so she felt guilty and asked me to come out. I decided it wasn't healthy for me to be Tangled Up in all of the emotional drama and other toxic interactions. Therefore I said I would be out of town in another state which I was not. I lied because I was trying to remove myself make it simple just saying I'm not around. So what I did instead was I ordered a pie for her and my sister and had my mom go pick it up so they could enjoy that. By ordering and paying for the pie for them it was my way of not entirely disconnecting but being kind at the same time. I I'm starting to think this is the way I'm going to have to handle them not be around but try to be nice every now and then as much as possible.
Chekhov reminds me of my man. His mother gave him for adoption when he’s a child. And when he was adopted, he was just physically beaten. When he’s 16, he ran away. He made some big sacrifices, failed from to time to time, hit the lowest point of his life. But he persisted, worked more than everyone else and is committed with his goals despite of anything. Now at 29, he’s successful and has his own company. That’s why, he has my biggest respect because he has every reason to be bitter, to be selfish and to be angry but he’s none of those things. Instead, his experiences made him a strong, forgiving and gentle human being. And he said he’s lucky to find me. But I always rebut saying, I’ll always be the luckiest woman to find a beautiful human like him.
It's better applied that way imo...you don't put up with things from others that you won't even put up with from yourself! Master the inner and the outer will follow suit!
@Carl Alfredo The shadow, resistance, etc. It has different names but it is the part of the personality which opposes our most noble intentions. Laziness, the desire for pleasure, and cowardice are all of this nature.
@Carl Alfredo After 34 years of escaping from the effects of misguiding incompleteness by an Eastern mystic, I'm pretty sure that, "the shadow", you referred to, is merely an effect of subconsciousness reacting in the way that google might react to questions. Thanks for the ref to those other videos, I really need to check them then. But I'm seriously aware of how attributing obstructive qualities to difficult to define mysterious manifestations, (like shadows), can result in confusion and even dangerous, parasitic mindsets.
@@scottm5116 No, mental instability is the enemy - resulting in confusion, which manipulates things like vulnerable manifestations of subconsciousness. Ego is merely a part of that.
Your videos touch my soul every time, cannot thank you enough. "Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible." Carl Jung; Memories Dreams and Reflections
So true! You are alone even when you are with people unless they are your kind of people with whom you can forge a meaningful connection, and to do tyat, they have to be on the same wavelength!
I prefer the version of this quote that includes the part about the fact that most people don't even want to know what you want to communicate for them to be able to understand.
That only shows he had a limited quantity of empathy to spare. I personally love my dogs and people around, even the weak ones (or social-standard qualified so), and there is still room for future encounters. I acknowledge dogs love is limitless. Unlike Mark Twain's social acquaintances, who seem to exclusively stand in the upper class. (The upper class has indeed very limited 'empathy', and this almost always consist on ones you can benefit from. Hence its automatic despise for the poor.)
I grew up in an environment where you were expected to just accept your "lot" in life and be grateful, despite being surrounded by negative and toxic individuals who seemed determined to undermine me at every step. Anyone who showed signs of potential to do great things was seen as a threat, and had to be stamped on quickly, lest they get ideas above their station! The small-town mentality very nearly destroyed me before I had a chance to develop my full potential - at 17, I discovered a new life in a new town, with new friends, and I have't looked back...
I don't always pause videos to take notes, screenshots, or download the works of authors cited. But when watching AOI, it happens every upload. Thanks again guys!
@Boy Wonder ""Whenever I didn't, which was most of time"" lol, and yeah you are damn right. I have written a article on it. Hopefully you will like it :) lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
Yeah man, taking notes helps us remember, and I have shared a method of Mini-notetaking in my newsletter, here is the link if you want to read it. lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
Accept people as "facts...." Whew. That....you really have something there. You never question a rose about why it's a rose and why it doesn't have fewer thorns like a carnation. You never question an apple about why it doesn't taste more like a banana, but at the same time, you surely won't eat a rotten apple. I think you really said something important there.
I've been watching for two years now and with every video you guys continue to remind me of why I subscribed. I won't touch on the many thinkers you've introduced me to.
Avoid friends who use you to live vicariously through you and who just take and don't give. I also avoid people who need for me to explain everything I say, who never get nuance, who don't use context or follow the flow of conversation. I get exhausted having to backtrack often to people who were just too mentally lazy to keep up.
@@Anna-xg6lv That's a nice irrelevant deflection comment. It doesn't address the desired communication relationship between best friends (platonic, relative, dating, or spouse). It's universal for people to desire these certain types of close relationships to have depth and expression of knowing the other. That's part of the joy of a close relationship - being understood and known. So there's an expectation of use of things like subtlety, nuance, and inside 'jokes' or comments. I don't expect this from all relationships, just my intimate (close) ones. Not everyone 'gets' us. And it's pretty brutal of you to say it's because I'm not adequately communicating. Say that to any cryptic poet or unique musician. Look up the topic of why poetry is often difficult to understand. In fact, a good, deep, meaningful, thought-provoking poem is worth reading three or four times or a dozen. Are THEY bad communicators? No. And I can choose friends who 'get me' on the first go around. That makes the bond special.
@@Anna-xg6lv Absolutely not true. Even the greatest of communicators will be misunderstood, or downright disregarded by those who (on a conscious or subconscious level) reject the message, or lack the objective rational to 'connect the dots' in regards to higher concepts than they are used to. Communication is a two way street. There are a ton of people who struggle with 'comprehension' due to overblown ego (a lack of humility gets in the way of understanding), mental laziness (many people don't like to participate in the exercise of 'thinking'), or lack of interest when something is outside of their immediate sphere understanding (as in, they don't see how the information applies to them). No amount of careful diction can requisite a meaningful understanding/response with these people, they either are ready for the message or they are not. Some require time and experience before the value of such information becomes apparent, others have chosen to reject wisdom due to their own inflated sense of self, the latter of the two absolutely cannot be helped by others unless they help themselves first.
Although I may not have had it as bad as Chekhov, I realize that I must break my family chain and become the one to mold things back together. Thank you for this channel.
That is a very very difficult task, Feeney. Not only physically but mentally draining as well.. What if people do not understand why u are bringing the connection back?
This rings true to I as well...This last year has been my greatest life gift/goal/purpose/realization. To heal the future family lines. heal our dna and change the timelines to separate from the cursed generational trama that most of us have endured. .our children deserve better than that, everyone's child deserves better than that. I look at the few generations past and cant imagine how long people have been carbon cut outs of their perceived environment. Like a cookie cutter. Man. I always think about.... if they realized that being that cruel, rotten or vengeful was wrong? I loved the quote about I actually to a screen shot of it...when people can control thier emotions so that attack yours. ..so freaking true. people dont deserve to be treated in such ways. I see more people now acknowledging their moment to step into this role. This is why I believe we are here. It's our mission to heal the children. To put an end to the cycles of recurring family tramas. To mend the pain of our ancesters where they failed. Theres not a day that goes by where I'm not dumbfounded by those around me.
I've been surrounded by people my entire life, who always wanted to shape me into something less than them, and wanted me to be the least I can be. It has been me versus the world..
@Sunflower Shine This idea that we can live our lives for ourselves is absurd. "Follow your passion", they told me. What they should have said was "conform to the highest paying job the market has a need for". We have to compete with others for jobs, mates, resources. It simply isn't true that we only compete with ourselves.. because we are constantly compared to others.
Michael Wang what can I say but I now find myself in this position at an age which in this world doesn’t hold much value. I am great full for one thing and that is; both my parents taught me work hard, protect everything you have and never give up on life’s struggles.
Pursue that something from within rather than without... that might help you narrow it down and quench that need. I learned that pursuing the way everyone else did to find happiness and success was not what I needed or wanted, and by pursuing what was within, I have a happy life and there is more joy in my heart than I thought possible. We often pursue things for the wrong reasons and then when we cannot obtain it, we find ourselves wandering and lost because nothing seems to be what we want to pursue. It is only that way because we are looking at things at a angle outward instead of inward. Good luck.❤
@@datheamore6395 Your words and their meaning touched me very deeply and held great meaning and rhythm. I feel you've been around for a while and appreciate you telling me this. I'm not young, not old and I must get on track again, as I have before. It does not get easier. Hope to see something else from you. Thank you.
Don't judge others, you don't know their story. Don't assume you have got it made, you could find yourself in a desperate situation at some point. Keep your compassion and your humanity, but protect your energy. When we go inside we find the answers. Sometimes those who have been through the worst get to experience the best. If you have never been on your knees in the darkness ,you will never truly know how beautiful it feels to stand in the sun.
It's hard with no safety net, I raised myself yet somehow as a kid I knew I had to work hard to get off the streets. To this day I can't tolerate toxic people.
When I let go of my ego everyone I knew left everyone but my grandma my mom and my little sister. 3 brothers 1 sister and a handful of super close friends for over 20 years they all left and at the time it happened was within the 3 weeks before my father passed away at home in hospice, it was last year and it has been a ..... I don't have a word for it but I do know that I'm living the all me all my true life and my story has many pages left it's a lonely life but I find myself just absorbing all the knowledge about anything and everything thing, and I built a couple ponds and do a lot of gardening that keeps me and my mind all good. Great channel found it a day ago and can't stop listening to it. It's one of my background fillers that I have going as I do other things.
I have written an article on notetaking, if you get time then do checkout, so that you won't miss what you learn. lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
I truly love this Channel, I'm a young man living life in solitude and fully aware of my power and energy but like all of us I find myself doubting and overthiking sometimes and listening to your videos brings me simply back to my inner power. Thank you.
Downward pull (psychologically & physically) from people and peers were manageable... but it really hurt me when few of my professors or teachers (who ideally should bring out the best in their pupils) used this technique against me with selfish motives, while I just followed them with respect and a level of trust, in order to gain some priceless knowledge and be a good student. Now I'm starting to realize that no amount of superiority (either monetary status or education) can change the utter core of human nature of being insecure/jealous/envious etc. unless the person has a strong character or is willing to make conscious efforts to build up good character to guide others or become a role model for followers.
The channel is so underrated, but it’s an unfortunate fact that so many people are unwilling to change themselves and feel attacked when they hear these sorts of ideas. “‘I’m not smart enough, not motivated enough, I’m too busy, I don’t have money”etc. Anything you do is enough, one step is enough, anything but zero is “enough”. Keep going!
I belong to the category of those pursuing a meaningful life, those who believe there's more to this life than what meets the eye, besides my brother, a high school friend who lives in another country and a good friend who moved to another state, I have met nobody else who is "deep", everyone is so superficial, all people talk about is the weather, the official perspective on the covid lockdown, nobody talks ideas anymore, nobody reads!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm certainly alone but I don't feel lonely.
Don't generalize about what everybody thinks. Those are only the people you know. The Universities are full of people who are being educated to think and act at a higher level than the one you describe.
This is my life. I dont even feel lonely anymore . When i was a child i may as well have been from another planet speaking Venusian. As an adult i may as well be spraying them with acid when i speak. I can see my words melting into a psyches subconscious. They may blow up or cry or ignore me then ,but when the truth of what i said comes out anyways they always understand LATER. Like a long ass delay to comprehend what i MEANT in the first place.
I love reading, poetry ,dry humor, people watching and inopportune farts in yoga studios . Its just such a commercial practice now, done to impress ur circle, but i love when that human side shows. And uts beyond their control.
I was taught as a young child that people were like crabs in a bucket. When you try to improve yourself, your friends and relatives like crabs in a bucket will try to pull you back down. I have seen nothing in my life that has given me any reason to doubt this maxim. Hell I have lived it my whole damn life.
You guys are improving at such an exponential rate. You always deliver, and seemingly, each upload somehow finds a way to pierce into my current reality. It’s absurd how practical these video essays are. If you see this, know that what you choose to do with Academy of Ideas in your life is a noble way of living; of expressing.
I've noticed recently that certain kind of people tend to use shame to bring us down. If you succeed in something, it might create feelings of envy, disappointment and shame in another, especially if they themselves wish to succeed in the same endeavor. One way to deal with these negative emotions and neutralize the situation is then to shame and disparage the successful. This realization has helped me to frame the potential shaming as praise and appreciation in disguise. Probably wise to limit contact to such people altogether.
Agreed. I got rid of all the negative people in my life. They were a necessary evil for a little while. As soon as I got out of college, built my resume, and skill sets, I ditched all of them. I have no regrets. So much happier. I choose who I want to hangout with based on mindset.
In these dark times I've listened to AOI often and it has given me reminders to keep on the path. My philosophy degree was once described as useless. Given these times, it's the most useful thing I ever did.
This channel is a hidden gem. Video after video of pure knowledge and psychology. Better than any self help program you can find. Keep it up! Great content!
Emphasis on "good." Alot of times we think our friends are good until we start doing better for ourselves, then they will do the crabs in a bucket thing.
For too many years, I surrounded myself with people who were not just "broken" but who revelled in their brokenness; it was not a part of their persona, it was their entire life. These people did not make me depressed (that is on me), but they did influence me - there is a distinction. I finally managed to break free of these relationships and am now learning to live my life in a more positive manner.
In this age of internet, it is easier than ever to follow our mentors and get educated by the people we admire. The good influence of Academy of ideas is one example. We are no more limited to our family and local entourage. This was a liberation for me. Of course one has to be connected... Great visual art by the way.
"Some relationships are so toxic, some interactions so hollow, some people are so set in their ways, ways which may be inimical to the ways we wish to be, that ending certain relationships may be the best way for us to move forward." You have exactly stated the citizen and State relation in America.
I really resonate with the whole breaking the pattern of your family, I have slight resentment however with the fact that it had to be me that did it and not my parents.
I relate. I've been getting very angry recently with my parents, especially my dad for not getting his shit together before having kids. Just the constant lack of communication and negative underhand comments is just so draining and I am so sick of having to deal with it and how he so often projects his past trauma onto the whole family. But you're right, someone has to lead by example and it does cause some resentment but it must be done.
Woah!....I had a debate about this topic last night!....The timing of this is unbelievable. I was feeling lonely by being surrounded by people who I don't share values with. I was feeling bad about the disconnection. Perhaps it's for the best. Thank you. It seems I'm alone in this afterall.
Thank You. I sometimes listen to your work for hours, while doing other things. Even sitting outside with headphones, to enjoy a day. Your work, and subject choices are good for us all. Lifting and sharing those best parts of humanity. 🥂
I love how crystallized your ideas are. I have subscribed to your channel a few months ago and I thank you for bringing forth such great videos. You are truly changing people's lives.
Step on them politely as you rise up on their behalf. They offered themselves and if they did, it was a trap and you must disengage and show another way. Stepping stones. 🙏🏼✌🏼
I always feel a lot better after listening to the commentaries you guys put together, but I'm truly awed and inspired by the artwork you use. In this video, for instance, as you were talking, I went on an awe-inspiring journey back into our past, the past of the white European races, through those images. Even the quality of the artwork alone, although depicting some of the less savoury and wholesome aspects of life as it was then, says a lot about the achievements of our culture. Those unsung artists were great artists! We have a lot to be proud of.
Thank you so much for making these videos, please never stop making them. They have impacted my life in ways i can't describe, and I'm sure, many other as well.
One doesn't need to worry about breaking away from the bad company. As one gradually countinues to become more aware, the old company will gradually be automatically fading into the distance until one day it disappears as you will have less and less in common. But the key is not in changing the old company for a better one. It is about changing your level of awareness.
I remember orientation on the first day of graduate school at UCR. The chancellor gave a speech where he said, "Graduate school will open doors that you did not even know existed." I think that was the most profound statement I have ever heard about education, which truly only begins at the graduate level.
Thank you for this particularly prescient video! I live in Arizona and for the past few months a neighbor and friend of mine has been visiting his family and friends back home out east. Although he has his virtues he is a relentless and obsessive complainer about certain hardships we are all enduring at our condo complex among other things. His feed back loop depressing complaining has drained my will to live many times. Since he's been gone I've made significant strides in improving my prospects for a better life here and better retirement. I don't want to cut him out of my life. But I am going to have to set some boundaries and let him know that he is not allowed to drain my life force. I will just walk away if he insists on yet another pointless destructive broken record feed back loop tirade. Life is too short to have to endure that again! All the best to you good people!
Tell me who your friends are and I´ll tell you who you are. My mother used to always ask me when I was a teenager if I couldn´t find better friends, and I used to get so mad at her. Turns out she was right.
The video waxes poetically on the subject of seeing people as phenomena, to learn from and not to judge them. And the images of classic paintings also serves to enhance that poetic context. The key for me that I have found in this process is to focus on accepting myself as I am now as well as who I was in the past when I often struggled in some way or another. It is only by accepting myself that I can really accept others. To turn this around if I look at someone else and notice that I judge them in some way I can turn that back on myself and say what is it about myself that leads me to judge them?? Because when I am judging others I am projecting something on others that I am not accepting in myself.
Rather ruthless sometimes people have energy and strength hidden under dread and anxiety, a friend should allow you to step into the light and celebrate all of you
WOW! Great video. Thanks The quote about interacting with others is most relevant. I can relate to this since I live in "Hooterville" where the conversations are mostly about cows, corn, sex and pickup trucks. And I can't forget SPORTS. Shakespeare (Francis Bacon?) said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time, plays many parts." I've concluded that those around us are just "playing their parts" for our spiritual advancement. Part of my daily affirmation, says, "I accept the people in my life as they are, not as I would prefer, since they are on their own journeys to enlightenment, and are playing their assigned parts, from which they learn, and from which I learn from them. . I offer them the opportunities to learn, to rise above ignorance, to rise above those around them, to grow in spirituality, and to strive for excellence." Learning acceptance and tolerance of others is one of the most important lessons in the quest for greater spirituality. I find that I must "fake it" by appearing to be interested in what these yahoos are saying. What is irritating, though, are their attempts to change me.
What they don't tell you though, is that the more you rise, the more alone you will be --by necessity. As you cease to compromise yourself, you will have to walk away from those who demand compromise from you. As you seek excellence, you will have to walk away from those who revel in mediocrity. And so, every step of personal success, puts one more step between you and the world. I could never go back. I would hate myself for giving up. But it's lonely. There are no throngs of well wishers, cheering your integrity. There is no unconditional love or acceptance from anyone else. You will have to learn to reward yourself, and that will be your only reward. If I could go back, and truly return to ignorance and banality, I think I might do it. But how do you "unknow" something, once it has become part of you?
5:41 - "If we can just drown out the noise of our social environment for a portion of the day, and focus on cultivating the skills & habits needed to move us into the direction of who we wish to become, then slowly but surely the *grip* of our social environment will loosen." Ingenius! Really, amazing.
this is one of the greatest videos that ever talked about my life. deep and so influential. i need (and will need) this much more than i think. thank you very much
One can never compare a single human being to an entire species, or even to another single individual, because there are too many unknowns. After the intense torments of my childhood (not just at home but at school and church, as well), finding myself marginalised in a variety of ways (sexuality, heritage - in what was a very racist society, class), even after becoming ill for reasons I won't disclose, I still hoped to save my family and I always acted out of love. Work and love defined my life but that precipitated more abuse (I was an easy target for the people who were associated with my life through my family) until finally, after more abandonment (one is more resilient when they're young), the breakdown of my one short relationship, and the death of my father, I broke. Then I experienced even more hardship, nightmare rentals, neighbours bullying me, medical help not offered because I combed my hair... All of it, alone. It's important to understand we cannot just write people off because they affect our quaint lives (why should they be able to anyway?). People can overcome even more hardship than Chekhov, great as he was. Even people who are downtrodden have worth. Even Chekhov himself didn't abandon his own family which affects your argument. How did he avoid being pulled down by them after he became something? By distancing himself? If so, love is not merely providing for your family economically. You state that Chekhov recognised that his family was they way they were for a reason. In that acknowledgement he found a reason to forgive. I've had to do the same multiple times. The conversations remain one-sided. I proved that you should never give up on anyone by finishing High School at 45yo and doing so well that I received a scholarship into the best Uni in Australia. But to achieve this without any friends or family was no easy feat. And now I find myself resenting humanity for giving up on someone who had potential and who was victimised repeatedly. Yet, I do not consider myself a victim, rather, a survivor, but there is only so much isolation a person can take before a notion of generalised resentment becomes fused. The fact is, I've been somewhat unlucky with friends. They abandoned me while I was still optimistic... That's Australia for you. People can be cruel here, especially the most "enlightened" ones. Anyway, whilst I love your work, this has left me feeling a little bemused.
Brilliant thank you. It’s taken 58 years for me to get this, but I agree with this synopsis. Dropping toxic people, even if it’s family and focusing on personal creativity, is going against a great deal of what social consciousness says you should not do. Just subscribed, I am looking forward to the rest of your posts. Love the art work too.
Grats on 500k subs! And yes, the best way is to just avoid certain people. The problem with this though is when you're young, you won't be too sure what to avoid. Live and learn though, once you figure it out, you can go plow through life dodging folks a plague.
This is exactly why one should learn and accept being with themselves, only then can you truly be influence not by people but by your own free will and desire to do what you want. Being in crowds, will hinder your mentality, usually people when together are change mentally, because they're more occupied on how to impress these people, to show them they think like them, they're on their side, they're never who they want to be, they become another bad copy. Only then when they remove themselves from the hives of people, the fog will clear and the path that was set out for them only, will also become clear.
I seem to get more out of a ten minute Academy of Ideas tutorial than listening to ten hours of Jordan Peterson. Rich, dense, consise, to the point with great clarity and brevity. Thank you Academy!
Sao much great wisdom in your videos! I can relate to the man you speak of as a mirror of my own experience in life being abandoned by my family also at the age of ten to fend for myself and reject the factory indoctrination of public schools that went against my street knowledge of common sense and logic, as well as religion that prohibits self realization.
The people and environment you are in isn’t forever and you have to know that it is temporary. Be able to interact and maneuver with that mindset and a slight wall to not allow those mindsets and energies drag you. Spend much time meditating and remembering your end goal. Develop a relationship with yourself and love doing what you do in your free time by yourself. I grew up Davenport Iowa. No one wants to do anything above what everyone else does. You have to exist in pre existing boxes of types of people. But never did I care for that because I knew there was more.
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Find the transcript (and a gallery of the art work) here: academyofideas.com/2019/04/overcome-downward-pull-of-other-people/
Academy of Ideas you’re always so timely with these videos it’s like you’re reading my mind lol thank you for your work
Be prepared for a lonely life of excellence.
Michael Jensen oddly enough any alone time I deal with is self imposed. Since I’ve taken up the advice in these videos I’ve seen that people are more drawn to me
@@Kakashi75 Having standards is always a good thing. It will leave you however with very few people to associate with. People being drawn to you is not always desirable. But a young man with a big ego may enjoy that type of thing. Perhaps you can pose as a philosopher. Part a becoming an adult is learning to mix with people of all kinds without taking up their attitudes, habits, behavior and qualities. That comes with a strong sense of personal identity, knowing yourself and experience.
Michael Jensen oh definitely it took my up until last year until I formed enough of a personality where I stopped letting other people’s ideas, emotions and criticisms (usually in bad faith) rule my perceptions. The only reason I find it important that I’m like able is because I seek political power to help others
6:22 "If people cant control their own emotions then they have to start controling other peoples behavior" - Robin Skynner
Wow 😳 thank you so much for writing this on here. I c what I’ve been doing & I have to control me! 😬I know it’s a challenge but I couldn’t figure out my anxiety 🤯& now I c why I have it. ☺️ a million thanks for the quote🙏🏼
That hit me hard.
Great truth.
Most relevant reality regarding especially this year.
'Faint heart and fine weather, never f*cked a donkey'. Anon.
Some people need to be left behind, until the day comes when they appreciate the ability to have a relationship with you.
Or maybe they never do? Who gives a fuck!!!!
@@jammasterj13 apparently you lmfao
Truth be told, I finally know what it's like to be brought down to somebody else's level. He just got a pretty big inheritance...and, if I was a shitbag I'd take advantage of that fact, but right now integrity means more....
Hahaha
little foot why laugh at someone? Asshole.
Now thats what a real self-help channel looks like.
Good old philosophy made relevant with todays culture. No background music. No flashy cuts and edits of people with dreamy eyes looking outside a window. No over the top vocal fluctuations in speech. No big claims. No testimonials. No sales pitches embedded in message. Just plain and simple truth told with such compassion. Arts slideshow is a bonus. Thank you for making such a beautiful and genuine channel.
Well said
Alan Watts would be turning in his grave if he could see those videos.
Agreed!!!!!
I dont trust modern therapy for this reason. They don't teach you this stuff. I've been in and out of therapy my whole life, mostly due to peer pressure, and my social environment making me think there was something wrong with me, and I always knew that something was wrong with the mental Healthcare system. They teach you at best to suppress your emotions. At least, in my experience. I've not once had a therapist that uses these talking points. Giving me information I can process and understand rather than try to tell me to control my breathing and suppress my symptoms by means of medication and such
Thats real
I needed to see this ten years ago, but I suppose intellectual maturity is always better late than never.
Same here..gotta know what your looking for first
OCD, trauma and a family of broken, mentally ill people (narcissistic, bipolar, autistic, depressed) is a collective bitch. I've found some ways to deal with it, but in most ways, it's too little too late. I've sabotaged my life and my family's, as they have me. The collective failure is a staggering black comedy when you look at the whole portrait. I love and pity my parents, but neither were mentally equipped to raise a boy, let alone three. Fairly certain I'm devolving into the histrionic self-made martyr my father has always been... I'm wholly dependent on them.
Now is the time!!
I wish I see this video when I am in my teenage years. I am in my lates 20s.
There is no time but now!!!
I live at a homeless shelter & I'm constantly surrounded by negative people in many different ways. I try to keep in mind what Jordan Peterson sez "endure without being corrupted!" Life is a daily challenge & I try to sympathize & not demonize. Pray for me🌵☦🌵
@Anders Anderson for the most part things are good though due to the pandemic noone is hiring right now. I just need to be patient. I'm still staying at the homeless shelter but I'm making the best of it. I try to be helpful like sweeping/mopping the dorms or bathrooms. Thanks for responding!🌵😺🌵
@Michael Unger have you ever heard about jordan peterson? i think you would like him
I'm sending you good vibrations brother. Keep your eyes and your heart open, you'll find your way !
Yes be in the world but not of the world.
Wish you all the best!
As a little advice from me: consider starting a business also.
Learning about business consulting and starting a business in this direction is a good and relatively fast way to get the cash going.
1. Learn everything about copywriting, business building, marketing psychology you can.
2. After months of learning, start to offer your services for free to businesses wich you think you can help.
3. Collect reviews and ratings from this businesses about your work to have prove of your professionalism.
4. Start to offer your services for money.
Trough this system you can learn and offer every service you want.
I took business consulting as an example because it's one of the most profitable.
Plus you must invest no money.
Maybe get a suit and some papers to look professional and that's all.
All the knowledge you can find online
Better to be alone, than surrounded by false friends & Toxic Family members. Stop letting these people drag you down.
Walk away.
Go NO CONTACT.
Find yourself.
Find a better circle of friends.
Live your life for yourself, not others.
Somewhere along the way, you will realize you are happy.
Thankyou
I chose to cut my family off. It was painful at first. After about 1 year it doesn't hurt nearly bad. It's just like breaking up with a s/o
@@DjZephy
I did the same in 2016.
It's no better for me, but it's no worse either. I'm very introverted, so it's difficult making friends, especially at my age.
Having been 7 years free of their lies, schemes, hypocrisy, etc. HAS been _much better_ than living with it everyday!!!
I don't have the joyous carefree life I hoped for, but at least I'm free of their gaslighting, and ploys, and guilt trips, etc. etc.
That alone makes it worth it.👍
It took me a lifetime to realise that people can only measure you by their own standards because that’s all they have as a yard stick. Realise that another’s limitations are not yours. Don’t be held back by the people afraid you’ll leave them behind.
THANK YOU FOR THIS COMMENT
That is poetry ,or potency.both?
That's well said Green. I recently heard a comment made by a acquaintance about my character from a common friend. I listened and was ready with a reply, but then realized I was being defensive. I could explain all I wanted but I'd keep going on explaining myself to anyone I know. The comment was made by someone based on his thinking, so I wouldn't and needn't change it, everyone is entitled to their opinions.
YOu've said it really beautifully ❤.. gonna steal your line 😜
Suffering either breaks you or makes you.
It's how you react that counts!!! People may mock and ridicule, but they dont know you, only you know you, so keep going.....Fall down nine times, get up ten..Dont ever give into lifes misery!!!
@@jammasterj13 Amen to that.
Both
I got PTSD from the horrible abuses I've suffered from childhood and in adulthood. People CAN break you.
@@bookowl1775 That's a stupid comment and shows your ignorance.
I was 4 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had to remove myself from the toxic emotional quicksand of my bio family. Whew. The curtain of light and greatness has been raised and is upon me!!!!
Let go Accept, i find that I am born again since leaving the toxic biological family, to lead their own lives, without me.
@@S1eep1ess -- make sure to self examine. It's about being a good honest human. It might work to NOT fully cut off family but to monitor your reactions and minimize accordingly. I wish and pray my family find the Truth. As a Christian I pray for their souls.
I agree with you move away from their mindsets but practice compassion and be grateful you at least could escape
@@johnblasiak607 thank you John. I did something I don't normally do on July 4th when I was invited to fly out there to see my mother after another problem that she had caused for me a month earlier and so she felt guilty and asked me to come out. I decided it wasn't healthy for me to be Tangled Up in all of the emotional drama and other toxic interactions. Therefore I said I would be out of town in another state which I was not. I lied because I was trying to remove myself make it simple just saying I'm not around. So what I did instead was I ordered a pie for her and my sister and had my mom go pick it up so they could enjoy that. By ordering and paying for the pie for them it was my way of not entirely disconnecting but being kind at the same time. I I'm starting to think this is the way I'm going to have to handle them not be around but try to be nice every now and then as much as possible.
My wife’s best friend had to do the same. Sometimes family is not what you are born into, but those you surround yourself with.
Chekhov reminds me of my man. His mother gave him for adoption when he’s a child. And when he was adopted, he was just physically beaten. When he’s 16, he ran away. He made some big sacrifices, failed from to time to time, hit the lowest point of his life. But he persisted, worked more than everyone else and is committed with his goals despite of anything. Now at 29, he’s successful and has his own company. That’s why, he has my biggest respect because he has every reason to be bitter, to be selfish and to be angry but he’s none of those things. Instead, his experiences made him a strong, forgiving and gentle human being. And he said he’s lucky to find me. But I always rebut saying, I’ll always be the luckiest woman to find a beautiful human like him.
Gelli Danielle
Wow where is he from ? What culture ?
Awww ,congrats
Nice
Wonderful story 🥰
GELLI DANIELLE If he became poor you would leave him.
I think that like minded individuals such as the ones who love this channel, must come and grow stronger together.
Can we start a WhatsApp group chat !! 🤩
@@kayrab_t Not something I'd be up for, but yeah a Facebook community could be great. If there is one already, do let me know.
Amen to that
Start a discord server. That platform would serve well.
@@poetsrear How?
These lessons can also be applied when resisting the downward pull which arises from within.
It's better applied that way imo...you don't put up with things from others that you won't even put up with from yourself! Master the inner and the outer will follow suit!
@Carl Alfredo The shadow, resistance, etc. It has different names but it is the part of the personality which opposes our most noble intentions. Laziness, the desire for pleasure, and cowardice are all of this nature.
@Carl Alfredo After 34 years of escaping from the effects of misguiding incompleteness by an Eastern mystic, I'm pretty sure that, "the shadow", you referred to, is merely an effect of subconsciousness reacting in the way that google might react to questions.
Thanks for the ref to those other videos, I really need to check them then. But I'm seriously aware of how attributing obstructive qualities to difficult to define mysterious manifestations, (like shadows), can result in confusion and even dangerous, parasitic mindsets.
Ego is the Enemy
@@scottm5116 No, mental instability is the enemy - resulting in confusion, which manipulates things like vulnerable manifestations of subconsciousness. Ego is merely a part of that.
Your videos touch my soul every time, cannot thank you enough.
"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible."
Carl Jung; Memories Dreams and Reflections
So true! You are alone even when you are with people unless they are your kind of people with whom you can forge a meaningful connection, and to do tyat, they have to be on the same wavelength!
True friends are listeners then talkers..But they will speak the truth about you. Show me your friends and I will show you who you are???
Lonely around other people
Michalis Michael I'm never lonely when alone, I'm only lonely around others
I prefer the version of this quote that includes the part about the fact that most people don't even want to know what you want to communicate for them to be able to understand.
Energy vampires...kick em out of your life.
My words verbatim.
Fastnail I instantly yawn in my mother's presence.
@@firstnamelastname7471 lol. Womb to Tomb my friend.
Exactly n they never change n always do the same thing. I know someone like this n he just holds me back.
Ditto drama queens.
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”-Mark Twain 🙋🏼♀️
*cat
Lol
The more people I meet, the more I relish the idea of harbouring pubic lice!
I use to say that about Porn actresses.😂
That only shows he had a limited quantity of empathy to spare. I personally love my dogs and people around, even the weak ones (or social-standard qualified so), and there is still room for future encounters. I acknowledge dogs love is limitless. Unlike Mark Twain's social acquaintances, who seem to exclusively stand in the upper class. (The upper class has indeed very limited 'empathy', and this almost always consist on ones you can benefit from. Hence its automatic despise for the poor.)
I grew up in an environment where you were expected to just accept your "lot" in life and be grateful, despite being surrounded by negative and toxic individuals who seemed determined to undermine me at every step. Anyone who showed signs of potential to do great things was seen as a threat, and had to be stamped on quickly, lest they get ideas above their station! The small-town mentality very nearly destroyed me before I had a chance to develop my full potential - at 17, I discovered a new life in a new town, with new friends, and I have't looked back...
I don't always pause videos to take notes, screenshots, or download the works of authors cited.
But when watching AOI, it happens every upload.
Thanks again guys!
Damn right...ive had to take notes on these videos.They are good.Very good.
Same here. Notes, screenshots, etc. every time.
@Boy Wonder ""Whenever I didn't, which was most of time"" lol,
and yeah you are damn right. I have written a article on it. Hopefully you will like it :)
lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
Yeah man, taking notes helps us remember, and I have shared a method of Mini-notetaking in my newsletter, here is the link if you want to read it.
lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
Accept people as "facts...." Whew. That....you really have something there. You never question a rose about why it's a rose and why it doesn't have fewer thorns like a carnation. You never question an apple about why it doesn't taste more like a banana, but at the same time, you surely won't eat a rotten apple. I think you really said something important there.
I've been watching for two years now and with every video you guys continue to remind me of why I subscribed. I won't touch on the many thinkers you've introduced me to.
Kwakeka Mdivasi what are some of your favorite that academy of ideas has brought to your attention?
E S Carl Jung, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, and the Stoic philosophers.
Great thanks!
Same here!
Should watch "Bertrand Russell on Nietzsche"
Avoid friends who use you to live vicariously through you and who just take and don't give.
I also avoid people who need for me to explain everything I say, who never get nuance, who don't use context or follow the flow of conversation. I get exhausted having to backtrack often to people who were just too mentally lazy to keep up.
Great communicators are seldom asked to repeat theirselves.
@@Anna-xg6lv That's a nice irrelevant deflection comment. It doesn't address the desired communication relationship between best friends (platonic, relative, dating, or spouse). It's universal for people to desire these certain types of close relationships to have depth and expression of knowing the other. That's part of the joy of a close relationship - being understood and known. So there's an expectation of use of things like subtlety, nuance, and inside 'jokes' or comments. I don't expect this from all relationships, just my intimate (close) ones. Not everyone 'gets' us. And it's pretty brutal of you to say it's because I'm not adequately communicating. Say that to any cryptic poet or unique musician. Look up the topic of why poetry is often difficult to understand. In fact, a good, deep, meaningful, thought-provoking poem is worth reading three or four times or a dozen. Are THEY bad communicators? No. And I can choose friends who 'get me' on the first go around. That makes the bond special.
@@Anna-xg6lv I think you touched a nerve there, Anne.
@@Anna-xg6lv Absolutely not true. Even the greatest of communicators will be misunderstood, or downright disregarded by those who (on a conscious or subconscious level) reject the message, or lack the objective rational to 'connect the dots' in regards to higher concepts than they are used to. Communication is a two way street. There are a ton of people who struggle with 'comprehension' due to overblown ego (a lack of humility gets in the way of understanding), mental laziness (many people don't like to participate in the exercise of 'thinking'), or lack of interest when something is outside of their immediate sphere understanding (as in, they don't see how the information applies to them). No amount of careful diction can requisite a meaningful understanding/response with these people, they either are ready for the message or they are not. Some require time and experience before the value of such information becomes apparent, others have chosen to reject wisdom due to their own inflated sense of self, the latter of the two absolutely cannot be helped by others unless they help themselves first.
As you grow it's more difficult to make friends let alone friends who could feel and understand the nuances.
Everyone is different. People just need to ACCEPT THAT. You have no right to intentionally abuse someone because you don't approve of how they are.
Well said! ❤️
Although I may not have had it as bad as Chekhov, I realize that I must break my family chain and become the one to mold things back together. Thank you for this channel.
It's so hard tho.
That is a very very difficult task, Feeney. Not only physically but mentally draining as well..
What if people do not understand why u are bringing the connection back?
@@stevendalloesingh1214 The ppl if they were aware &conscious would or could have at least done it for there own personal growth.
This rings true to I as well...This last year has been my greatest life gift/goal/purpose/realization. To heal the future family lines. heal our dna and change the timelines to separate from the cursed generational trama that most of us have endured. .our children deserve better than that, everyone's child deserves better than that. I look at the few generations past and cant imagine how long people have been carbon cut outs of their perceived environment. Like a cookie cutter. Man. I always think about.... if they realized that being that cruel, rotten or vengeful was wrong? I loved the quote about I actually to a screen shot of it...when people can control thier emotions so that attack yours.
..so freaking true. people dont deserve to be treated in such ways. I see more people now acknowledging their moment to step into this role. This is why I believe we are here. It's our mission to heal the children. To put an end to the cycles of recurring family tramas. To mend the pain of our ancesters where they failed. Theres not a day that goes by where I'm not dumbfounded by those around me.
Keeping family ties are important, however toxic they are.
I've been surrounded by people my entire life, who always wanted to shape me into something less than them, and wanted me to be the least I can be. It has been me versus the world..
Terry Thompson it’s not you vs the world, it’s you vs the people surrounded by you ❤️
All too common an experience, I'm afraid
@Sunflower Shine This idea that we can live our lives for ourselves is absurd. "Follow your passion", they told me. What they should have said was "conform to the highest paying job the market has a need for". We have to compete with others for jobs, mates, resources. It simply isn't true that we only compete with ourselves.. because we are constantly compared to others.
The very discouraging part of life is the loss of pursuit while wanting to pursue something.
Michael Wang what can I say but I now find myself in this position at an age which in this world doesn’t hold much value. I am great full for one thing and that is; both my parents taught me work hard, protect everything you have and never give up on life’s struggles.
Right?! But the wanting atleast is good!
Pursue that something from within rather than without... that might help you narrow it down and quench that need. I learned that pursuing the way everyone else did to find happiness and success was not what I needed or wanted, and by pursuing what was within, I have a happy life and there is more joy in my heart than I thought possible. We often pursue things for the wrong reasons and then when we cannot obtain it, we find ourselves wandering and lost because nothing seems to be what we want to pursue. It is only that way because we are looking at things at a angle outward instead of inward. Good luck.❤
@@datheamore6395 Your words and their meaning touched me very deeply and held great meaning and rhythm. I feel you've been around for a while and appreciate you telling me this. I'm not young, not old and I must get on track again, as I have before. It does not get easier. Hope to see something else from you. Thank you.
When you are young you can but don't want, when you are old you want but can't.
Don't judge others, you don't know their story. Don't assume you have got it made, you could find yourself in a desperate situation at some point. Keep your compassion and your humanity, but protect your energy. When we go inside we find the answers. Sometimes those who have been through the worst get to experience the best. If you have never been on your knees in the darkness ,you will never truly know how beautiful it feels to stand in the sun.
The day I realize I can't share this with any of my immediate entourage is not a good sign, actually.
It's hard with no safety net, I raised myself yet somehow as a kid I knew I had to work hard to get off the streets. To this day I can't tolerate toxic people.
When I let go of my ego everyone I knew left everyone but my grandma my mom and my little sister. 3 brothers 1 sister and a handful of super close friends for over 20 years they all left and at the time it happened was within the 3 weeks before my father passed away at home in hospice, it was last year and it has been a ..... I don't have a word for it but I do know that I'm living the all me all my true life and my story has many pages left it's a lonely life but I find myself just absorbing all the knowledge about anything and everything thing, and I built a couple ponds and do a lot of gardening that keeps me and my mind all good. Great channel found it a day ago and can't stop listening to it. It's one of my background fillers that I have going as I do other things.
Sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you have everyone and everything you need to make you happy. Blessings to you!
💫💫
Your voice has become so familiar that it feels as if my own big brother is speaking.
Keep up the good work.
haha same bhai, same here.
I have written an article on notetaking, if you get time then do checkout, so that you won't miss what you learn.
lifelonglearner.substack.com/p/mini-note-chetneet-chouhan
Or like the smart kid in class that you feel like will be president one day. Lol
I truly love this Channel, I'm a young man living life in solitude and fully aware of my power and energy but like all of us I find myself doubting and overthiking sometimes and listening to your videos brings me simply back to my inner power. Thank you.
How ya doin?
Sometimes you just gotta cut people loose. If you don’t you’ll waste your life interacting with destructive people.
I think the gist is to choose your friends wisely, but do not be so quick to judge others. We all fail.
I've watched this video about 12 times. It speaks to me.
It's uncanny how this channel always helps me articulate what I've been thinking about.
This is why I prefer to be alone - no one can pull me down !
only you can
We're not alone w/ the inter-web, however: Usually for the selectively constructive and impulsively negative.
honestly that's not a good enough reason to be alone. getting hurt is how you grow. its part of the game
But then nobody can help pull you up
Escapism and the conscious decision for time needed alone should not be confused with one another.
Downward pull (psychologically & physically) from people and peers were manageable... but it really hurt me when few of my professors or teachers (who ideally should bring out the best in their pupils) used this technique against me with selfish motives, while I just followed them with respect and a level of trust, in order to gain some priceless knowledge and be a good student.
Now I'm starting to realize that no amount of superiority (either monetary status or education) can change the utter core of human nature of being insecure/jealous/envious etc. unless the person has a strong character or is willing to make conscious efforts to build up good character to guide others or become a role model for followers.
The channel is so underrated, but it’s an unfortunate fact that so many people are unwilling to change themselves and feel attacked when they hear these sorts of ideas. “‘I’m not smart enough, not motivated enough, I’m too busy, I don’t have money”etc. Anything you do is enough, one step is enough, anything but zero is “enough”. Keep going!
I belong to the category of those pursuing a meaningful life, those who believe there's more to this life than what meets the eye, besides my brother, a high school friend who lives in another country and a good friend who moved to another state, I have met nobody else who is "deep", everyone is so superficial, all people talk about is the weather, the official perspective on the covid lockdown, nobody talks ideas anymore, nobody reads!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm certainly alone but I don't feel lonely.
Don't generalize about what everybody thinks. Those are only the people you know. The Universities are full of people who are being educated to think and act at a higher level than the one you describe.
@@dawnemile7499 The universities are doing the exact opposite of what you say.
This is my life. I dont even feel lonely anymore . When i was a child i may as well have been from another planet speaking Venusian.
As an adult i may as well be spraying them with acid when i speak. I can see my words melting into a psyches subconscious. They may blow up or cry or ignore me then ,but when the truth of what i said comes out anyways they always understand LATER. Like a long ass delay to comprehend what i MEANT in the first place.
I love reading, poetry ,dry humor, people watching and inopportune farts in yoga studios . Its just such a commercial practice now, done to impress ur circle, but i love when that human side shows. And uts beyond their control.
I am exactly the same.
This short video ended a conundrum I've been struggling with for almost a year. I can't thank you enough.
Our families can be the worst type of people for us, and we need to be able to get away from them.
*This is one of the most valuable channels on youtube.*
Man, did you really do history? If so, do you repent doing it? I I'm thinking seriously of doing it
I was taught as a young child that people were like crabs in a bucket. When you try to improve yourself, your friends and relatives like crabs in a bucket will try to pull you back down. I have seen nothing in my life that has given me any reason to doubt this maxim. Hell I have lived it my whole damn life.
You guys are improving at such an exponential rate. You always deliver, and seemingly, each upload somehow finds a way to pierce into my current reality. It’s absurd how practical these video essays are. If you see this, know that what you choose to do with Academy of Ideas in your life is a noble way of living; of expressing.
Thank you for mentioning Anton Chekhov.
His life of service is inspiring.
I've noticed recently that certain kind of people tend to use shame to bring us down. If you succeed in something, it might create feelings of envy, disappointment and shame in another, especially if they themselves wish to succeed in the same endeavor. One way to deal with these negative emotions and neutralize the situation is then to shame and disparage the successful. This realization has helped me to frame the potential shaming as praise and appreciation in disguise. Probably wise to limit contact to such people altogether.
Agreed. I got rid of all the negative people in my life. They were a necessary evil for a little while. As soon as I got out of college, built my resume, and skill sets, I ditched all of them. I have no regrets. So much happier. I choose who I want to hangout with based on mindset.
In these dark times I've listened to AOI often and it has given me reminders to keep on the path. My philosophy degree was once described as useless.
Given these times, it's the most useful thing I ever did.
This channel is a hidden gem. Video after video of pure knowledge and psychology. Better than any self help program you can find. Keep it up! Great content!
Your channel is most definitely one of the best on UA-cam, man.
Pull 'em up with you! As Bob Marley says: "help the weak if you are strong!"
Thank you for this channel.
You're gorgeous! Okay have a great day!
EvilSapphireR
She knows.
She's a Leo.
EvilSapphireR Well thank you. ☺️
Toxic Masculinity Shock Syndrome Bunyan Actually I’m a Capricorn ♑️
The quality of your videos, the script and your voice work is phenomenal!
If you have a group of good friends but not as ambitious as you are, be the one who is ambitious and they will follow/learn ;)
@Akshay Nakar - No hehe ;) good friends are rare theses days
username checks out.
Some peeps are just useless doodle sack of shite, and waste of my effort.
no, they don’t. Source: me
Emphasis on "good." Alot of times we think our friends are good until we start doing better for ourselves, then they will do the crabs in a bucket thing.
For too many years, I surrounded myself with people who were not just "broken" but who revelled in their brokenness; it was not a part of their persona, it was their entire life. These people did not make me depressed (that is on me), but they did influence me - there is a distinction. I finally managed to break free of these relationships and am now learning to live my life in a more positive manner.
In this age of internet, it is easier than ever to follow our mentors and get educated by the people we admire. The good influence of Academy of ideas is one example. We are no more limited to our family and local entourage. This was a liberation for me. Of course one has to be connected... Great visual art by the way.
"Some relationships are so toxic, some interactions so hollow, some people are so set in their ways, ways which may be inimical to the ways we wish to be, that ending certain relationships may be the best way for us to move forward."
You have exactly stated the citizen and State relation in America.
I really resonate with the whole breaking the pattern of your family, I have slight resentment however with the fact that it had to be me that did it and not my parents.
I relate. I've been getting very angry recently with my parents, especially my dad for not getting his shit together before having kids. Just the constant lack of communication and negative underhand comments is just so draining and I am so sick of having to deal with it and how he so often projects his past trauma onto the whole family. But you're right, someone has to lead by example and it does cause some resentment but it must be done.
breaking loose of our peer's negativity is a dark, scary road to set out on but worth the journey...
Words cannot describe how much I like this video. I feel that something changes in me after I watch your videos. Thank you!
Woah!....I had a debate about this topic last night!....The timing of this is unbelievable.
I was feeling lonely by being surrounded by people who I don't share values with. I was feeling bad about the disconnection. Perhaps it's for the best.
Thank you. It seems I'm alone in this afterall.
Safoera M Stay strong online friend! We never truly alone maybe physically but not spiritually!
Yes, lucky!! Fair weather friends? Who needs them worse than your enemies?? These types only hang around while you have something they want?
Thank You. I sometimes listen to your work for hours, while doing other things. Even sitting outside with headphones, to enjoy a day. Your work, and subject choices are good for us all. Lifting and sharing those best parts of humanity. 🥂
I appreciated the art as much as the message. Thank you.
I love how crystallized your ideas are. I have subscribed to your channel a few months ago and I thank you for bringing forth such great videos. You are truly changing people's lives.
welp. another synchronicity... always posting what i wonder about . thank u
With every video, you remind me of why I subbed. Hats off to you sir.
This channel has given me hope during tough times which I've had to endure alone, thank you for your content, I look forward to more.
The most underrated channel in UA-cam.
Fell into this, profound..timeless, examination... again... a year later. Second time as valuable as the first time. Much gratitude.
My family tryed to do this . 💖💫💚I have removed my energys from theese people . I love them from distance now very little contact . Life is peacefull 💖
"Work and love.
Work and love."
I so needed this reminder. Thank you!
Step on them politely as you rise up on their behalf. They offered themselves and if they did, it was a trap and you must disengage and show another way. Stepping stones. 🙏🏼✌🏼
Megan the wise
I always feel a lot better after listening to the commentaries you guys put together, but I'm truly awed and inspired by the artwork you use. In this video, for instance, as you were talking, I went on an awe-inspiring journey back into our past, the past of the white European races, through those images. Even the quality of the artwork alone, although depicting some of the less savoury and wholesome aspects of life as it was then, says a lot about the achievements of our culture. Those unsung artists were great artists! We have a lot to be proud of.
Thank you so much for making these videos, please never stop making them. They have impacted my life in ways i can't describe, and I'm sure, many other as well.
I'm with you Andrea Monique.
Me As Well!!!
One doesn't need to worry about breaking away from the bad company. As one gradually countinues to become more aware, the old company will gradually be automatically fading into the distance until one day it disappears as you will have less and less in common. But the key is not in changing the old company for a better one. It is about changing your level of awareness.
I remember orientation on the first day of graduate school at UCR.
The chancellor gave a speech where he said, "Graduate school will open doors that you did not even know existed."
I think that was the most profound statement I have ever heard about education, which truly only begins at the graduate level.
Christopher Diaz, PhD maybe for you. Not so for others ;)
Thank you for this particularly prescient video! I live in Arizona and for the past few months a neighbor and friend of mine has been visiting his family and friends back home out east. Although he has his virtues he is a relentless and obsessive complainer about certain hardships we are all enduring at our condo complex among other things. His feed back loop depressing complaining has drained my will to live many times. Since he's been gone I've made significant strides in improving my prospects for a better life here and better retirement. I don't want to cut him out of my life. But I am going to have to set some boundaries and let him know that he is not allowed to drain my life force. I will just walk away if he insists on yet another pointless destructive broken record feed back loop tirade. Life is too short to have to endure that again! All the best to you good people!
Tell me who your friends are and I´ll tell you who you are. My mother used to always ask me when I was a teenager if I couldn´t find better friends, and I used to get so mad at her. Turns out she was right.
This video has brought me out of a very dark place and I am eternally grateful.
The video waxes poetically on the subject of seeing people as phenomena, to learn from and not to judge them. And the images of classic paintings also serves to enhance that poetic context.
The key for me that I have found in this process is to focus on accepting myself as I am now as well as who I was in the past when I often struggled in some way or another.
It is only by accepting myself that I can really accept others.
To turn this around if I look at someone else and notice that I judge them in some way I can turn that back on myself and say what is it about myself that leads me to judge them?? Because when I am judging others I am projecting something on others that I am not accepting in myself.
💯💯💯
Rather ruthless sometimes people have energy and strength hidden under dread and anxiety, a friend should allow you to step into the light and celebrate all of you
Never stop making these. Very impressed with the consistently high quality over so many years. Thank you AoI!
WOW! Great video. Thanks
The quote about interacting with others is most relevant. I can relate to this since I live in "Hooterville" where the conversations are mostly about cows, corn, sex and pickup trucks. And I can't forget SPORTS. Shakespeare (Francis Bacon?) said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time, plays many parts."
I've concluded that those around us are just "playing their parts" for our spiritual advancement. Part of my daily affirmation, says, "I accept the people in my life as they are, not as I would prefer, since they are on their own journeys to enlightenment, and are playing their assigned parts, from which they learn, and from which I learn from them. . I offer them the opportunities to learn, to rise above ignorance, to rise above those around them, to grow in spirituality, and to strive for excellence."
Learning acceptance and tolerance of others is one of the most important lessons in the quest for greater spirituality. I find that I must "fake it" by appearing to be interested in what these yahoos are saying. What is irritating, though, are their attempts to change me.
What they don't tell you though, is that the more you rise, the more alone you will be --by necessity.
As you cease to compromise yourself, you will have to walk away from those who demand compromise from you.
As you seek excellence, you will have to walk away from those who revel in mediocrity.
And so, every step of personal success, puts one more step between you and the world.
I could never go back. I would hate myself for giving up. But it's lonely.
There are no throngs of well wishers, cheering your integrity. There is no unconditional love or acceptance from anyone else.
You will have to learn to reward yourself, and that will be your only reward.
If I could go back, and truly return to ignorance and banality, I think I might do it. But how do you "unknow" something, once it has become part of you?
5:41 - "If we can just drown out the noise of our social environment for a portion of the day, and focus on cultivating the skills & habits needed to move us into the direction of who we wish to become, then slowly but surely the *grip* of our social environment will loosen." Ingenius! Really, amazing.
this is one of the greatest videos that ever talked about my life. deep and so influential. i need (and will need) this much more than i think. thank you very much
@@thotslayer9914 lmao bro trying to get epussy
Nothing wrong with that.
I wish I can share this insightful video without giving out the wrong impression to my peers or offending anyone.
I remember dropping a group of people out of my life and I am amazed at how motivated I am I don't see a day where I am idle I know work.
One can never compare a single human being to an entire species, or even to another single individual, because there are too many unknowns.
After the intense torments of my childhood (not just at home but at school and church, as well), finding myself marginalised in a variety of ways (sexuality, heritage - in what was a very racist society, class), even after becoming ill for reasons I won't disclose, I still hoped to save my family and I always acted out of love. Work and love defined my life but that precipitated more abuse (I was an easy target for the people who were associated with my life through my family) until finally, after more abandonment (one is more resilient when they're young), the breakdown of my one short relationship, and the death of my father, I broke. Then I experienced even more hardship, nightmare rentals, neighbours bullying me, medical help not offered because I combed my hair... All of it, alone.
It's important to understand we cannot just write people off because they affect our quaint lives (why should they be able to anyway?). People can overcome even more hardship than Chekhov, great as he was. Even people who are downtrodden have worth. Even Chekhov himself didn't abandon his own family which affects your argument. How did he avoid being pulled down by them after he became something? By distancing himself? If so, love is not merely providing for your family economically. You state that Chekhov recognised that his family was they way they were for a reason. In that acknowledgement he found a reason to forgive. I've had to do the same multiple times. The conversations remain one-sided.
I proved that you should never give up on anyone by finishing High School at 45yo and doing so well that I received a scholarship into the best Uni in Australia. But to achieve this without any friends or family was no easy feat. And now I find myself resenting humanity for giving up on someone who had potential and who was victimised repeatedly. Yet, I do not consider myself a victim, rather, a survivor, but there is only so much isolation a person can take before a notion of generalised resentment becomes fused. The fact is, I've been somewhat unlucky with friends. They abandoned me while I was still optimistic... That's Australia for you. People can be cruel here, especially the most "enlightened" ones.
Anyway, whilst I love your work, this has left me feeling a little bemused.
Brilliant thank you. It’s taken 58 years for me to get this, but I agree with this synopsis. Dropping toxic people, even if it’s family and focusing on personal creativity, is going against a great deal of what social consciousness says you should not do. Just subscribed, I am looking forward to the rest of your posts. Love the art work too.
Grats on 500k subs! And yes, the best way is to just avoid certain people. The problem with this though is when you're young, you won't be too sure what to avoid. Live and learn though, once you figure it out, you can go plow through life dodging folks a plague.
With few encouraging people in my life I'll atm settle for an uplifting AOI video and my dog's company-
Go for something, man. What are you into?
This is exactly why one should learn and accept being with themselves, only then can you truly be influence not by people but by your own free will and desire to do what you want. Being in crowds, will hinder your mentality, usually people when together are change mentally, because they're more occupied on how to impress these people, to show them they think like them, they're on their side, they're never who they want to be, they become another bad copy. Only then when they remove themselves from the hives of people, the fog will clear and the path that was set out for them only, will also become clear.
This video has made me want to double down on following my own path. Thank you
keeping away from toxic people are very important. they disturb your peace of mind.
I’ve had that lonely in the crowd feeling since my earliest days
I seem to get more out of a ten minute Academy of Ideas tutorial than listening to ten hours of Jordan Peterson. Rich, dense, consise, to the point with great clarity and brevity. Thank you Academy!
Sao much great wisdom in your videos! I can relate to the man you speak of as a mirror of my own experience in life being abandoned by my family also at the age of ten to fend for myself and reject the factory indoctrination of public schools that went against my street knowledge of common sense and logic, as well as religion that prohibits self realization.
The people and environment you are in isn’t forever and you have to know that it is temporary. Be able to interact and maneuver with that mindset and a slight wall to not allow those mindsets and energies drag you. Spend much time meditating and remembering your end goal. Develop a relationship with yourself and love doing what you do in your free time by yourself. I grew up Davenport Iowa. No one wants to do anything above what everyone else does. You have to exist in pre existing boxes of types of people. But never did I care for that because I knew there was more.
You are one of the brightest minds I've ever come across. Most meaningful channel I've ever found on UA-cam