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I went to a super market yesterday and at the cashier i said wait it's not free today ! He told me no it's not and we laughed and now we're best friends.
Hey, how are you feeling now (after 6 years)? If it is still there, read this. What is making you red is your over thinking about 'what they are thinking about you'. You can imagine a scenario where you put yourself in their shoes (esp if you know most of those people, if not just imagine by their character type) as you walk in. If possible, sit on one of the seats like they do and imagine yourself walking in. Now see what can be thought about you? Some people will be jealous? Some will be happy to see you? Some people will like to help you because they have realised that you are feeling uncomfortable? Now convince yourself that it is not your problem what they are thinking. It is their insecurities and appreciate those who are happy to see you or want to make you feel comfortable. Do this exercise once or twice in your head and you'll be fine next time.
i said it. then she said no. so i told her i dont have the money. she told me i cant have the items. i took them any way. she got security. im in jail now. gotta go, my celly needs the net
I used that line.. But the cashier just looked confused and really weird at me. And all the other people in the line just looked weirdly in my eyes and probably thought "This niggah stupid or something"
i remember about 4 years ago i was very confident..talked to girls made tons of friends and always helped the new kid gt ot know the school...than i moved to a new place and lost all my confidence with everyone...never thought this was possible and now im a lonely piece of shit.
+GamingTec101 same for me, but it wasn't moving, it was leaving school. just like this guy said, fake it till u make it. If u walk by someone on the street and think 'man I want to keep to myself right now' then say fuck that and ask them how their day is going. It may be cheesy, and they might respond awkwardly, resulting in an awkward situation. But that doesn't matter, because you just initiated an interaction with someone. When you initiate an interaction with a peer later on, it will be a lot less awkward than the random guy on the street. You have a great opportunity, since u are still in school, so use it!
I think my biggest hurdle was that I never ALLOWED myself to be confident - I always worried too much about what others thought. "Power Stances" and affirmations never worked for me, like I mention in my own Confidence video, but once I learned to tell myself that I was allowed to feel good about ME, that's when I really took off.
Daniel Davis Well. I was the most confident guy in my school in hungary, but then we moved to germany, to live a better life, i wasnt able to speak german in a loong looong time, so i lost my confidence. but im hanging out with friends and stuff like this, i think im on a good way now.
Not true. This video is right. I've tried this in earlier stages of my life and it worked wonders. But what I'm saying is that you can have confidence if you just believe you can. Understand that no matter WHAT happens, this technique will work. That's confidence right there, isn't it? But of course you need something to be confident about. Confident doesn't mean proud. It means to be self-assured. Knowing you can do something properly is how to do that. And if you can't find the confidence, then this video is showing you that you can give it to yourself forcefully. Smile for ten seconds and then try to stop. That's the sort of science behind this. The thing to be confident about is the thing you're trying to execute.
(KFC) Me: "wait it's not free today?" Cashier: "Uhh was that your big joke?" (Subway) Me: "wait it's not free today?" Cashier: " Oh yeah it is after you pay for it"
i said that to the cashier and my mom hit me in the back of my head and told me , " shut yo dumb ass up you know damn well hersheys aint free " and now im less confident :(
LOL that's exactly what I assumed would happen when he suggested using that line... I could tell humiliation was on the horizon for some unfortunate folk.
Well, I did what you said and the cashier just glared at me and said, "Nothing's free in life. If I have to work you have to pay." There was no laughing just intense awkwardness.
+Stefan Alexander Lay oh see, I like em. Sure, its odd when they're used like this where he moves left and right, but overall I think it helps it flow more than long takes
So I did it and I asked "it's not free today?" She said no so we made awkward eye contact for like 5 seconds and then I didn't know what to do so I took the drink anyway and ran fastest I could but she called the police and I just came out of jail
That cashier wiped out the last of my confidence... which was less than none to begin with... so basically I have crippling confidence debt help pls. *cries*
I was that shy fat girl who didn't know how to talk with guys who have no confident and that was in middle school 3years ago .. after that I changed hight school and what I did is pretend to be confident like he said in this video he is 100% right I'm saying that from my own experience I meet someone who make me feel that we that confident girl .. And make sure to be your own best friend cause your closest friends can be the ones that never want you to be successful .. There nothing for not to be confident you are who you are ..
Holy shit.. I started faking my confidence.. and the results are amazing. just step out that door..walk out with a smile and live that day like if it was your last. This worked thank you Derek. You just earned a subscriber!
This video is about how to be gregarious, which in some cases is perfectly fine. Confidence however, is an internal state that comes from having developed good overall living and coping strategies, which can be extremely challenging and require therapy and even medication if you were abused as a child or you've been bullied in an economically depressed town for too long. A confident person being gregarious is different than a narcissist behaving gregariously. For example, saying "thank you, everything was fantastic" to your server and leaving a generous tip versus making a smart-aleck remark to them. The difference between gregariousness and confidence is feeling powerful vs feeling good.
im not confident at ALL i dont know how to make new friends i feel uncomfortable around other people and i dont say a word in class its just impossible for me to talk to someone cuz like i dont know what to say to them if i dont know them i really need help since im moving the US for sophmore year and i dont want to be a loner
I'll become your friend :D. people tend to void me because I'm not easy to get insulted and am fat :D. A fat confident person isn't liked by people, or atleast by spaniards.
So i did the "hey it's not free today" line to a cashier and then i laugh, she gave me the most dirtiest look ever and then paid me extra.... then i was like in my head *okay, never doing that again...* then i ran into the door thinking it was one of those open by themselves kind. I turn and lot of people looked at me. yaaaaaaay now i lost even more confidence TY
........ This actually helped , tbh I've been through a lot and this helps at school I go red as a tomato when people speak to me especially girls. I can raise my hand or even looks teachers in the eye . I'm silent on rugby fields and I'm just generally shy . I watched this a couple of weeks ago . I now have a good looking gf and the confidence to speak . I asked a member of staff in wait-rose and she kinda laughed at me we then proceeded with small talk . Thanks dude
Let me tell you how I became confident with a girl that I was never confident with. Right so I could never talk to her and I would be very nervous when near her. But then in my French class I got moved to sit on the same table as her. At this point I would still be very nervous and stuff and I would never say a word to anyone that was sitting near me because she was there. But after a while, just sitting on the same table boosted my confidence so much, so now I can freely talk to her and never even be nervous! So my advice to you is to try to cross that line, try to do things that you are not confident/comfortable about to, well, become more confident. Hope this helps!
I often pretend to be confident when i work since i sell stuff and people are gonna buy if they trust my opinion hahaha help me a lot to talk to strangers out of work. Also the best way to be confident and meet other people is to just don't care what they think about you. You think your cool and funny so if the other person don't think so well too bad for him right? You have to beleive you're awesome
Dude, you're like a fucking genius. This video and your how to introduce yourself video are simple but GOLD. I hate those videos where they give you like 50 different tips. They're long and overcomplicated
Introversion is the reason you have to LEARN how to reach out, present yourself, and push past the compelling need to run. I'm deeply introverted, as are my adult children, and empathize with how you feel. Faking it, or pretending till I learned it, is how I learned to reach out to others. I'm most comforable alone, but we live in a world of people, and interacting with them is part of success.
i have a speech presentation in my college , class of public speaking andi was looking at many videos that i did't find helpful a lot but your video is really so good. you made me smile and do that posture and realize that really my body gesture can change my mind. thanks million times
So I tried it out on this cute cashier girl at Uwajimya and she hopped the counter and sexually assaulted me, threw her apron at her boss on the way out shouting I quit, and I'm currently in the process of filing for a restraining order against her, she will have to stay at least 150 feet away from me. As far as I'm concerned this video is some black magic hodoo voodoo crazy shit that shouldn't be messed with. It's too powerful.
I do the exact same thing and everything u said have happend to me except for the college part cuz what happend to me was in high school, i actually had a problem with being or acting as myself and so when i've noticed that confident means careless , careless of what would ppl think of what you do , i've actually succeeded to act as myself in front of ppl for the first time since a long time ago and it feels awesome ! anyways thanks for the video !
You can't fake it. You can earn it. Think what is confidence f irst ? Confidence comes when a human achieve some goals or in other words stop being useless walking, talking, eating and sleeping machine and becoming worthwhile. This way fulfill his/her life. Imagine you being a macho man like Dwayne Johnson. Would you feel uncertainty?? Think what you good at and strive to become best in that subject. You might want to build your body or finally lose weight or even go to singing/raping lessons!:) And if you are confident already, don't ignore uncertain person since it's breaks them even more, but support them:)
Confidence is an illusion. Replace the word "confidence" with "competence" and things will start to make more sense. Feeling "confident" is not what leads to results, while being COMPETENT does. For example, I can be confident that I am the greatest singer that ever lived. I feel confident that I can go up on stage, and the audience will be mesmerized by my golden voice. However, if really can't sing - i.e. lack the competency of a singer - then the fact that I feel confident about going up on a stage and singing is irrelevant. I must have the skills in place - the competency - to sing, dance, talk to girls, etc etc etc. It seems that when Derek spent his summer "practicing confidence" he was really building his competency in social interactions, rather that building his confidence. This is further illustrated by the assignment he gave to ask "isn't this free today?" To many of the people left comments, this line didn't produce desired results, and even backfired. It was irrelevant that it was said with perceived confidence. That is that some cashiers may find the line cute irrelevant of "confidence" and some cashiers may find the line ridiculous even when said with "confidence." A better approach is to find something to say that is on neutral ground and devoid of the possibility of being seen as "weird" or making the customer sound cheap. Do you want a really confident surgeon to remove your appendix even though he never went to medical school? Or would you rather have a doctor who went to school, studied hard, and developed the competency needed to become a surgeon?
+Ryan brolly Its same for me, when I have my friends around Im confident and dont care about anything, but whenever I am alone Im this shy bitch who has no confidence :D or :( ?
+495beni I'm with u there, but have recently realized a way around it. When ur alone and have to face confrontation with a stranger, imagine that your friends are behind there with you. They would want the best for you. Also, they would think it was weird if u were silent and awkward. They expect you to have something to say. It doesn't matter if the stranger likes it, you say whatever you want as long as you're being nice, and they can do whatever the fuck they want, as far as you're concerned. Also, think about afterward, when u can tell your friends how weird that guy u ran into earlier was, and how they'll agree and laugh about it. Your friends don't judge you negatively, and u see them all the time. So why would a stranger that you'll only see once or twice have such an important opinion?
You just made me feel like a real debater today. (I just joined debate and was looking on how to be confident,and you showed it to me).Thanks,you are the best.
That is one of the most helpful video I’ve ever seen about how to become a better person. I’m not a confident person and at the moment I study drama and I’m so good at it but sometimes I feel so down about myself that I couldn’t have the energy to act properly and being so insecure about myself that I would just want to give up. But this video helped me to open up more
What's funny is that I do it all the time. I went to a Dunkin Donuts with a friend who frequents there every day. He said "watch, when u get to the front, my coffee will be ready." It was. But it was then my turn to order, which I did, and then said "is it free today?" And the lady offered me a FREE donut! My friend was shocked! I pointed to him and gave the cashier a wink, and she gave him 1 too! But not the 6 people behind us!
You can't fake it. You can earn it. Think what is confidence first? Confidence comes when a human achieve some goals or in other words stop being useless walking, talking, eating and sleeping machine and becoming worthwhile. This way fulfill his/her life. Imagine you being a macho man like Dwayne Johnson. Would you feel uncertainty?? Think what you good at and strive to become best in that subject! You might want to build your body or lose weight or even go to singing/raping lessons!:) I personally feel confident when I bring smile on someone's face. Like visiting sick kids in hospices or feeding homeless people... And of course after 3 hours working in the gym! Always trust in GOD and be positive!
I realized a while ago that faking until making it is truly key. I worked at a kindergarten and obviously I had to communicate differently to children than to my adult friends. Once I quit, I noticed that I still spoke that strict baby-talk and took initiative while not even thinking about it. It was like second nature and I believe that the trick with faking confidence applies in the same way, it's gonna be installed to your brain eventually.
Hey yo D That right thurr is the most relevent piece of preaching for helping the unconfident ah have ever heard... Unconfidence is one of the worst things to be trapped in, if you would somehow let the world in on your knowledge, i beleive you could be regarded for greatness for a long time... "The world needs more people like you".
I'm 15 and on my summer holiday for 6 weeks then I will be in year 11, and I'm sick of being that person that does nothing or speaks to people. I have been told lots of things like, be around confident people, act confident,talk to people. But the problem I can't. Every time I try, its like a reflex to stop myself. Nothing comes out. Now I'm basically someone who has no social life. It probably has something with I used to get bullied and I'm tense all the time, and can rarely tell if someone is joking or taking the mick out of me. Can anyone help?
+iHEX Change something about yourself that you've wanted to change before. Be the person that you want to be. Don't like your body? Workout. Don't like your hair? Go to a hairdresser and figure it out with their professional opinion. Don't like your clothes? I'm sure you have an idea about what clothes look cool to you - buy those next time. Just dare being the person that you want to be :) It's like he says in the video: social skills are learned by pretending and trying around. Pretend to be who you want to be, in order to become that person.
Confidence actually comes from success. Once you did something sucessfull you feel happy and don't care about the thoughs of the people sorounding you. That's the reason attractive people are confident ( usually) because they are told they are attractive. that's why sucesfull men and women seem to be confident, because they succeeded in life. Atleast that is what I experienced. At my 16ths and below and really felt unconfident, and so on because I failed at school, but now when I turned 17 I became better and greater marks making myself feel great, and now with 18 I feel great and satisfied with my life, I'm even slowly loosing weight. So please, try to sucess in something, nevermind in what and slowly you'll feel better and become naturally more attractive, physically and psychologically.
You sound like one of those guys who has one of those scam websites like "how to pick up women" or "how to make millions of dollars" and then your just like its only gonna cost ya 60 monthly instalments of $9999.
I work as a host in a restaurant and I also work at a recreational center, so talking to people is a major part of my every day life. I seem to excel in unstructured social situations like talking to servers, cashiers and random strangers in general. However, my confidence takes a major hit when I am forced to give a presentation or a speech in a classroom. I even get nervous during general class discussions. Job interviews are another weakness of mine. It's terrifying for me and I'm sick and tired of it. Maybe I just need to work on my body language as you suggested in the video.
I did this a couple of years ago. Everyone said I'm really confident and I act it but I still don't think I have real confidence. Dunno, I'm outgoing, get people involved, first to get people chatting but there is one thing I can't do and that's act myself around fit lads. There are always them girls that are friend with fit lads and totally act themselves, even blow their nose in front of them if they don't know them! I'm like how?! How?! If thye are so fit I'm like omg lets make luv unda tha fire so I try be perf but some girls have that confidence which is like next level shit I just dunno how they do it!
i personally think confidence comes down to two things and two things only: 1 trusting in yourself, your skills, your brains, your heart, trusting in ones self. and 2 proberly the most important: just honestly not giving a shit about what people think.
Love this video! I used to be so insecure and when i started to pretend I was confident and that I loved myself in time it became a reality "the lie becomes the truth" is my life motto plus if you want to be confident by "faking" it you are being the most true to yourself because YOU want to be a confident person You are basically making a dream come true
funny thing is i was a cashier and im still not confident i can talk to people-especially cashiers with no problems but i have no confidence in myself this video should be called how to be more outgoing instead because im capable of that or maybe i should look for a video called how to develop healthier self esteem >.>
im very outgoing. Ill talk to just about anyone but outside of a school and professional setting,im really afraid. im not afraid to be rejected by someone i might only see once but becoming closer to someone i see frequently is a big deal and a huge risk to me and im always afraid that theyll think im not interesting. Do you see how i can say im outgoing but lack confidence. I only look confident on the outside.
When I was 10 I started faking being brave, confident and not caring what others think. It worked everyone was like "you're not scared of anything!" And when someone had to go first and others were scared they were looking at me and I went first. It wasn't a problem for me. I became what I wanted to be. Now I'm 15 and I'm not faking anything.
i went to a super market 2 months ago and at the cashier i said wait it's not free today he told me no it's not we laughed and became bros now i'm sleeping with his sister
I love your fresh, bright, intelligent ability to deliver your story. What most others dont take into account is the research bit you bring into your videos. I love them, thankd Derek
Want to see "behind the scenes" of an entrepreneur who makes more than $1M dollars per year? Follow me on Instagram. It might surprise you. instagram.com/derekhalpern
I asked a cashier, he responded "you confuse the days. It was free yesterday". Apparently he was way more confident than me😂
haha
You were out alphaed.
Not really, that was just a new opening. You just need a secondary response to a situation such as this.
how did you reply to this @Elshan Quliyev ?
subramani ravikrishna İ paid. that's it
The comments section has just basically become a place where people make stories about going to the cashier without actually going
Aryaman Goel Hahahaha that's so true
Aryaman Goel true af
I am that cashier :/
true dat!
I was thinking the same while reading their stories 😂😂😂😂
I said it and the cashier said back "ohhhh I've seen that video too!" it was rather embarrassing.
scumbaggo omg that's the worst xD
scumbaggo
S
lmaooo
lol
I went to a super market yesterday and at the cashier i said wait it's not free today ! He told me no it's not and we laughed and now we're best friends.
did you talk about something after you told him the line?
or you're saying that you only laughed and became friends
+Speedy Cord Did you really believe what I just said ?! 😂 that's really funny...
+mich Z Really? shit man.....
when you said that you became friends with the cashier you made my day and made me happy but now it's just a lie......
"now it's just a lie"
and so is Santa Claus
Hummer Lol I knew that Santa Claus is a lie since I was born
My issue is that when I know I'm the centre of attention, I start going bright red and that forces me back into my shell..
Feel your pain bro
Luke L Exactly the same happens to me at school, then people start making jokes about how red I am and it forces me further into my shell
I have the same issue and I can't help it, and then people say 'you're going red' which just makes it worse! It's so embarrassing lmao
Whip out your massive hog and just grin at everyone like the joker.
Hey, how are you feeling now (after 6 years)? If it is still there, read this. What is making you red is your over thinking about 'what they are thinking about you'. You can imagine a scenario where you put yourself in their shoes (esp if you know most of those people, if not just imagine by their character type) as you walk in. If possible, sit on one of the seats like they do and imagine yourself walking in. Now see what can be thought about you? Some people will be jealous? Some will be happy to see you? Some people will like to help you because they have realised that you are feeling uncomfortable? Now convince yourself that it is not your problem what they are thinking. It is their insecurities and appreciate those who are happy to see you or want to make you feel comfortable. Do this exercise once or twice in your head and you'll be fine next time.
Dont fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. It works !!
Cool
_REZ_ Cool
COOL>
_REZ_ C00L
Cool
i said it. then she said no. so i told her i dont have the money. she told me i cant have the items. i took them any way. she got security. im in jail now. gotta go, my celly needs the net
But at least now you're more confident
Didn't you say "It was just a prank bro"?
+MachineGun yea I did, they added 2 years to my sentence
+James O'Hanlon hmm,did you point at the camera?
+James O'Hanlon 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I used that line.. But the cashier just looked confused and really weird at me. And all the other people in the line just looked weirdly in my eyes and probably thought "This niggah stupid or something"
Lol
#IASS 😂😂😂 sorry mn
It's all about the way you say it, you must be awkward. It'd probably go the same way if I tried it 😂
i remember about 4 years ago i was very confident..talked to girls made tons of friends and always helped the new kid gt ot know the school...than i moved to a new place and lost all my confidence with everyone...never thought this was possible and now im a lonely piece of shit.
I feel you, same thing with me
Lunar Snow :(
+GamingTec101 same for me, but it wasn't moving, it was leaving school. just like this guy said, fake it till u make it. If u walk by someone on the street and think 'man I want to keep to myself right now' then say fuck that and ask them how their day is going. It may be cheesy, and they might respond awkwardly, resulting in an awkward situation. But that doesn't matter, because you just initiated an interaction with someone. When you initiate an interaction with a peer later on, it will be a lot less awkward than the random guy on the street. You have a great opportunity, since u are still in school, so use it!
***** YEAH THAT is so true..i should try it someday !!!! i need to
+GamingTec101 not some day, TODAY! if u dont do it today, you know you won't do it at all
i made the cashier search in her electronic pad and call over the manager, biggest mistake of my life.
ted h LOOOL I knew it'd turn out awkward!
I think my biggest hurdle was that I never ALLOWED myself to be confident - I always worried too much about what others thought. "Power Stances" and affirmations never worked for me, like I mention in my own Confidence video, but once I learned to tell myself that I was allowed to feel good about ME, that's when I really took off.
MajorMotionMatt I agree :)
not confident enough to fake the confidence... fml
me.
I can't smile.
Same. I'm not even confident enough to say that to a cashier. I almost get a heart attack when I even have eye contact with a person
Inderjit Singh Same.. i somehow feel awkward even if I just go to some public place, like i shouldn't be there or something.
true
Im a part time cashier, and I served 2 people in the past week that used that line lol
😂😂😂 Omg
FUARK ZYZZ BRAH LMAO
Rain Hiilt fuuuarkkk brah we gon make it
2016 and his legacy still alive. Mirin' hard
I have no reason to go to a cashier today ..so here it goes.... "Wait,its not free today?" XD
Well, It's impressive how these techniques work. I was confident, you know? But now I lost it. I never thought you could lose confidence.
Daniel Davis same here, used to be really confident, hope this works for me
Daniel Davis Well. I was the most confident guy in my school in hungary, but then we moved to germany, to live a better life, i wasnt able to speak german in a loong looong time, so i lost my confidence. but im hanging out with friends and stuff like this, i think im on a good way now.
Anyone else terrified of saying that line?
ikr I'll get kicked out
yep lmao cuz u have to say it like its a joke or theyll think ur being serious and then it just turns awkward
i'm scared of saying it out loud and have the people behind me be like "wtf"
lol me
I'm terrified!
about 10 years ago he had almost zero confidence but now he has unstoppable confidence
I got punched in the face. Apparently this doesn't work on prostitutes.
Korben Nightfire Hahahahaha
Lolz
Haha
Omgggg😭😭😭😂
ya lol u made my day😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣
It's weird forcing myself to smile actually makes me feel happy
You can't just have confidence for the sake of confidence . You must have something to be confident about
Speaking the truth you are... speaking the truth
Not true. This video is right. I've tried this in earlier stages of my life and it worked wonders. But what I'm saying is that you can have confidence if you just believe you can. Understand that no matter WHAT happens, this technique will work. That's confidence right there, isn't it? But of course you need something to be confident about. Confident doesn't mean proud. It means to be self-assured. Knowing you can do something properly is how to do that. And if you can't find the confidence, then this video is showing you that you can give it to yourself forcefully. Smile for ten seconds and then try to stop. That's the sort of science behind this. The thing to be confident about is the thing you're trying to execute.
Thanks, this is inspiring! I'm not using that fucking line, though...
Yeh fuck that corny line looooool
Me - "It's not free today?"
Cashier - (Holds gun in my face) "Get out of my shop, and...THANKYOU, COME AGAIN!"
true story
is it free?
Stol drop and steal jk
the "free" line never works. we hate it so much and hear it 100 times a day
At least you get it for free 👍
This may of just saved my life, thank you!!!
+Bishop Gains do like potatoes?
is that because you wanted to take your life?
Maybe
+ChaoticHitman ALL KINDS
***** AWWW MAN ALLLLL KINDS, JUST LEAVE THE NUTS HANGIN OUT
said the line but i mumbled the last couple words and promptly shit myself paid and left, thanks now i cant go to my favorite store
Sanic The Hegheg How can you be unique when your not confident? you'll just be like a million others lacking self-confidence (which tbh includes me).
+Sanic The Hegheg i never laughed so hard at a comment
I don't think I should be laughing this hard; it's not normal...
LOL
"wait is not FREE todaaay!!?(:" and all the people on the store began to stare at me in silence....so i paid and i left.....dayum
Lmao feel sorry for you . I knew it wouldnt work, so I wont try it lol.
Green Trent ***** lol I've seen people do it and prosper 😂 it takes a couple of tries
LMAO
***** XD
Took it a tad literally didn't ya 😂
I said this to my local weed dealer, I'm in hospital now. Thanks!
(KFC)
Me: "wait it's not free today?"
Cashier: "Uhh was that your big joke?"
(Subway)
Me: "wait it's not free today?"
Cashier: " Oh yeah it is after you pay for it"
+Lord Ka I wish I could like that more than once
Ronaldo Moore oh fuck
y-you t-too
i said that to the cashier and my mom hit me in the back of my head and told me , " shut yo dumb ass up you know damn well hersheys aint free " and now im less confident :(
WTF HAHAHHAHAHAHSHGGAHHAHSHCZJCJ
I'm SCREAMING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL bad luck dude XD
aww crap
UGLAH. lmao xD
I tried that "Wait, its not free today??" line and the cashier just gave me a weird look and didn't say anything, now i feel like a dick.
LOL that's exactly what I assumed would happen when he suggested using that line... I could tell humiliation was on the horizon for some unfortunate folk.
She deserves to be fired!
Ahmad Haha my comment was just a joke.
+Ahmad I feel really bad for you, you must have no life to be able to waste your time on that comment for possibly no outcome whatsoever.
Ahmad is typing tooo fucking long comments what you do for living ;-)
This video helped me... I pretended to be confident and it is working, I'm actually becoming confident!
Not gonna do the homework because I'm a rebel
rebel rebel
No Ur just a punk
Sam ...Kerabast
That got me though school!!
Well, I did what you said and the cashier just glared at me and said,
"Nothing's free in life. If I have to work you have to pay." There was no laughing just intense awkwardness.
I find it funny when I see people using jump cuts.
I just imagine them shifting left and right just for some unknown purpose.
He probably had the camera far from him, and just edited that way
+Stefan Alexander Lay probably to make it flashy and energetic, /variating...
+Stefan Alexander Lay oh see, I like em. Sure, its odd when they're used like this where he moves left and right, but overall I think it helps it flow more than long takes
Ich dram
Its like magic.
I put a pen in my mouth and immediately starting laughing, cause i'm all like wtf am i doing lol
me too Lmfaoo
So I did it and I asked "it's not free today?" She said no so we made awkward eye contact for like 5 seconds and then I didn't know what to do so I took the drink anyway and ran fastest I could but she called the police and I just came out of jail
YEET THE YOUNG MEET I actually just started cracking up from reading this
That cashier wiped out the last of my confidence... which was less than none to begin with... so basically I have crippling confidence debt help pls. *cries*
Get some on loan from the confidence bank.
I was that shy fat girl who didn't know how to talk with guys who have no confident and that was in middle school 3years ago .. after that I changed hight school and what I did is pretend to be confident like he said in this video he is 100% right I'm saying that from my own experience I meet someone who make me feel that we that confident girl .. And make sure to be your own best friend cause your closest friends can be the ones that never want you to be successful .. There nothing for not to be confident you are who you are ..
have struggled with social anxiety for years, have also overcome many of my obstacles by pretending to be confident. It's a very powerful technique.
Glad to hear it
Outside world here I come
Lmao xD
David Krolak hide your wifes, hide your kids
Holy shit.. I started faking my confidence.. and the results are amazing. just step out that door..walk out with a smile and live that day like if it was your last. This worked thank you Derek. You just earned a subscriber!
Humor is a great approach.
Indeed m8.
This video is about how to be gregarious, which in some cases is perfectly fine. Confidence however, is an internal state that comes from having developed good overall living and coping strategies, which can be extremely challenging and require therapy and even medication if you were abused as a child or you've been bullied in an economically depressed town for too long. A confident person being gregarious is different than a narcissist behaving gregariously. For example, saying "thank you, everything was fantastic" to your server and leaving a generous tip versus making a smart-aleck remark to them. The difference between gregariousness and confidence is feeling powerful vs feeling good.
im not confident at ALL i dont know how to make new friends i feel uncomfortable around other people and i dont say a word in class its just impossible for me to talk to someone cuz like i dont know what to say to them if i dont know them i really need help since im moving the US for sophmore year and i dont want to be a loner
I feel you
I'm exactly like this😔
nice to see people with my same problem
I'll become your friend :D. people tend to void me because I'm not easy to get insulted and am fat :D. A fat confident person isn't liked by people, or atleast by spaniards.
JoeMartinez18 south americans or actual european spaniards?
We must have confidence is the way to show other people what we really are.
So i did the "hey it's not free today" line to a cashier and then i laugh, she gave me the most dirtiest look ever and then paid me extra.... then i was like in my head *okay, never doing that again...* then i ran into the door thinking it was one of those open by themselves kind. I turn and lot of people looked at me. yaaaaaaay now i lost even more confidence TY
........ This actually helped , tbh I've been through a lot and this helps at school I go red as a tomato when people speak to me especially girls. I can raise my hand or even looks teachers in the eye . I'm silent on rugby fields and I'm just generally shy .
I watched this a couple of weeks ago . I now have a good looking gf and the confidence to speak . I asked a member of staff in wait-rose and she kinda laughed at me we then proceeded with small talk .
Thanks dude
Who's watching this because they have to deliver a presentation?
{raises hand}
Hatiah Begum I have to sing in front of my class...And I'm a shy girl..
I have to say something to my parents ;_;
I started pretending to be confident junior year of high school. It's amazing how well it works.
the cashier said 'no bitch'
lol
I got shot at
I got escorted out by security.
lmaaaooo
sucks to be you guys, she winked at me :)
I found when I stopped focusing on what people think of me I gained more confidence. Fake it till you make it baby!
Let me tell you how I became confident with a girl that I was never confident with. Right so I could never talk to her and I would be very nervous when near her. But then in my French class I got moved to sit on the same table as her. At this point I would still be very nervous and stuff and I would never say a word to anyone that was sitting near me because she was there. But after a while, just sitting on the same table boosted my confidence so much, so now I can freely talk to her and never even be nervous! So my advice to you is to try to cross that line, try to do things that you are not confident/comfortable about to, well, become more confident. Hope this helps!
I often pretend to be confident when i work since i sell stuff and people are gonna buy if they trust my opinion hahaha help me a lot to talk to strangers out of work. Also the best way to be confident and meet other people is to just don't care what they think about you. You think your cool and funny so if the other person don't think so well too bad for him right? You have to beleive you're awesome
totally agreed!
agreed too
We should date...but agreed as well
Yes because you're pretty.
Dude, you're like a fucking genius. This video and your how to introduce yourself video are simple but GOLD.
I hate those videos where they give you like 50 different tips. They're long and overcomplicated
LOL! That was quite a confident response Derek. Practicing what you preach! Thanks for another great video.
Introversion is the reason you have to LEARN how to reach out, present yourself, and push past the compelling need to run. I'm deeply introverted, as are my adult children, and empathize with how you feel. Faking it, or pretending till I learned it, is how I learned to reach out to others. I'm most comforable alone, but we live in a world of people, and interacting with them is part of success.
The guy said, wut? And I was like oh I was just kidding, he he was like, -_- gtfo
i have a speech presentation in my college , class of public speaking andi was looking at many videos that i did't find helpful a lot but your video is really so good. you made me smile and do that posture and realize that really my body gesture can change my mind. thanks million times
So I tried it out on this cute cashier girl at Uwajimya and she hopped the counter and sexually assaulted me, threw her apron at her boss on the way out shouting I quit, and I'm currently in the process of filing for a restraining order against her, she will have to stay at least 150 feet away from me. As far as I'm concerned this video is some black magic hodoo voodoo crazy shit that shouldn't be messed with. It's too powerful.
I do the exact same thing and everything u said have happend to me except for the college part cuz what happend to me was in high school, i actually had a problem with being or acting as myself and so when i've noticed that confident means careless , careless of what would ppl think of what you do , i've actually succeeded to act as myself in front of ppl for the first time since a long time ago and it feels awesome ! anyways thanks for the video !
And you still fake it. Everyone actually does.
I LOVE your videos! You talk a LOT but you also deliver information, not like ppl who just talk for the sake of talking
I might think the title of the video must changed to "HOW TO TALK TO A CASHIER CONFIDANTLY"😂😂
Omg ! That's exactly what i did before 4 years !!!! i became much moooreee confident !!! it's works guys don't stop !
I said "Wait, it's not free today?" and they kicked me out before I got a chance to say it was a joke
What if you're only not-confident in certain situations?
You can't fake it. You can earn it.
Think what is confidence f irst ?
Confidence comes when a human achieve some goals or in other words stop being useless walking, talking, eating and sleeping machine and becoming worthwhile. This way fulfill his/her life.
Imagine you being a macho man like Dwayne Johnson. Would you feel uncertainty??
Think what you good at and strive to become best in that subject.
You might want to build your body or finally lose weight or even go to singing/raping lessons!:)
And if you are confident already, don't ignore uncertain person since it's breaks them even more, but support them:)
good old raping lessons
XD Raping lessons ? Where can I learn it?
my mistake lol
Raping what?! O.O
Build my body and lose weight with rap-- XD
Confidence is an illusion. Replace the word "confidence" with "competence" and things will start to make more sense. Feeling "confident" is not what leads to results, while being COMPETENT does. For example, I can be confident that I am the greatest singer that ever lived. I feel confident that I can go up on stage, and the audience will be mesmerized by my golden voice. However, if really can't sing - i.e. lack the competency of a singer - then the fact that I feel confident about going up on a stage and singing is irrelevant. I must have the skills in place - the competency - to sing, dance, talk to girls, etc etc etc. It seems that when Derek spent his summer "practicing confidence" he was really building his competency in social interactions, rather that building his confidence. This is further illustrated by the assignment he gave to ask "isn't this free today?" To many of the people left comments, this line didn't produce desired results, and even backfired. It was irrelevant that it was said with perceived confidence. That is that some cashiers may find the line cute irrelevant of "confidence" and some cashiers may find the line ridiculous even when said with "confidence." A better approach is to find something to say that is on neutral ground and devoid of the possibility of being seen as "weird" or making the customer sound cheap. Do you want a really confident surgeon to remove your appendix even though he never went to medical school? Or would you rather have a doctor who went to school, studied hard, and developed the competency needed to become a surgeon?
I'm confident when around friends not so much when I'm alone. Does that mean any thing?¿
+Ryan brolly Its same for me, when I have my friends around Im confident and dont care about anything, but whenever I am alone Im this shy bitch who has no confidence :D or :( ?
+495beni I'm with u there, but have recently realized a way around it. When ur alone and have to face confrontation with a stranger, imagine that your friends are behind there with you. They would want the best for you. Also, they would think it was weird if u were silent and awkward. They expect you to have something to say. It doesn't matter if the stranger likes it, you say whatever you want as long as you're being nice, and they can do whatever the fuck they want, as far as you're concerned. Also, think about afterward, when u can tell your friends how weird that guy u ran into earlier was, and how they'll agree and laugh about it. Your friends don't judge you negatively, and u see them all the time. So why would a stranger that you'll only see once or twice have such an important opinion?
+495beni same
that's EXACTLY how I am. I understand.
same
You just made me feel like a real debater today. (I just joined debate and was looking on how to be confident,and you showed it to me).Thanks,you are the best.
Who else had a pen in there teeth watching this? Just me! 😂
No u just weird
+Imperius Nanox Yes I am
i guess it could be a kind of pen...you can write in the snow with it
hahaha me 😂😂😂
I had the pen in my ass
The best advice I've ever heard! Simple at it's best!
The ironic thing is , I am the Cashier today.
That is one of the most helpful video I’ve ever seen about how to become a better person. I’m not a confident person and at the moment I study drama and I’m so good at it but sometimes I feel so down about myself that I couldn’t have the energy to act properly and being so insecure about myself that I would just want to give up. But this video helped me to open up more
What's funny is that I do it all the time. I went to a Dunkin Donuts with a friend who frequents there every day. He said "watch, when u get to the front, my coffee will be ready." It was. But it was then my turn to order, which I did, and then said "is it free today?" And the lady offered me a FREE donut! My friend was shocked! I pointed to him and gave the cashier a wink, and she gave him 1 too! But not the 6 people behind us!
I consider myself as a shy person but it's time to overcome all my fears, thanks a lot
You can't fake it. You can earn it.
Think what is confidence first?
Confidence comes when a human achieve some goals or in other words stop being useless walking, talking, eating and sleeping machine and becoming worthwhile. This way fulfill his/her life.
Imagine you being a macho man like Dwayne Johnson. Would you feel uncertainty??
Think what you good at and strive to become best in that subject!
You might want to build your body or lose weight or even go to singing/raping lessons!:)
I personally feel confident when I bring smile on someone's face. Like visiting sick kids in hospices or feeding homeless people... And of course after 3 hours working in the gym!
Always trust in GOD and be positive!
*rapping, buddy
Taha Khan thanks man...my typo:)
Raping lessons 😂😂oh my god
💀 lets all excuse the typo
I realized a while ago that faking until making it is truly key. I worked at a kindergarten and obviously I had to communicate differently to children than to my adult friends.
Once I quit, I noticed that I still spoke that strict baby-talk and took initiative while not even thinking about it. It was like second nature and I believe that the trick with faking confidence applies in the same way, it's gonna be installed to your brain eventually.
All I see is your see-through shirt, man.
LMFAO
now I can't stop looking at it
body confidence
Hey yo D
That right thurr is the most relevent piece of preaching for helping the unconfident ah have ever heard...
Unconfidence is one of the worst things to be trapped in, if you would somehow let the world in on your knowledge, i beleive you could be regarded for greatness for a long time...
"The world needs more people like you".
What to do if you're turning red very fast?
Absolutely.
I'm 15 and on my summer holiday for 6 weeks then I will be in year 11, and I'm sick of being that person that does nothing or speaks to people. I have been told lots of things like, be around confident people, act confident,talk to people. But the problem I can't. Every time I try, its like a reflex to stop myself. Nothing comes out. Now I'm basically someone who has no social life.
It probably has something with I used to get bullied and I'm tense all the time, and can rarely tell if someone is joking or taking the mick out of me.
Can anyone help?
+iHEX Change something about yourself that you've wanted to change before. Be the person that you want to be. Don't like your body? Workout. Don't like your hair? Go to a hairdresser and figure it out with their professional opinion. Don't like your clothes? I'm sure you have an idea about what clothes look cool to you - buy those next time. Just dare being the person that you want to be :) It's like he says in the video: social skills are learned by pretending and trying around. Pretend to be who you want to be, in order to become that person.
so am I 😭😭
I went to the doctors and they have said I have social anxiety and will be going to therapy at some point, whenever I get a spot.
7 years later, how are you now?
Just push anything that stands in your way.
Confidence actually comes from success. Once you did something sucessfull you feel happy and don't care about the thoughs of the people sorounding you. That's the reason attractive people are confident ( usually) because they are told they are attractive. that's why sucesfull men and women seem to be confident, because they succeeded in life.
Atleast that is what I experienced. At my 16ths and below and really felt unconfident, and so on because I failed at school, but now when I turned 17 I became better and greater marks making myself feel great, and now with 18 I feel great and satisfied with my life, I'm even slowly loosing weight. So please, try to sucess in something, nevermind in what and slowly you'll feel better and become naturally more attractive, physically and psychologically.
You sound like one of those guys who has one of those scam websites like "how to pick up women" or "how to make millions of dollars" and then your just like its only gonna cost ya 60 monthly instalments of $9999.
only this guy doesn't charge anything!
joseph samon or how to get a sixpack by buying this magic red drink
I work as a host in a restaurant and I also work at a recreational center, so talking to people is a major part of my every day life. I seem to excel in unstructured social situations like talking to servers, cashiers and random strangers in general. However, my confidence takes a major hit when I am forced to give a presentation or a speech in a classroom. I even get nervous during general class discussions. Job interviews are another weakness of mine. It's terrifying for me and I'm sick and tired of it. Maybe I just need to work on my body language as you suggested in the video.
I'm confident everywhere except near 1 girl...
Tbh nobody asked you...
AWW! That's sweet! Good luck!!
+joseph smith *Tell her how you fell :o: If she rejects you then she rejects you.*
+Lampdee✨ Fuck this world... especially all my so called "friends".. I'm just gonna write shitty nu metal
joseph smith Do whatever you want, it's your life.
I love confident people . I love being confident
I did this a couple of years ago. Everyone said I'm really confident and I act it but I still don't think I have real confidence. Dunno, I'm outgoing, get people involved, first to get people chatting but there is one thing I can't do and that's act myself around fit lads. There are always them girls that are friend with fit lads and totally act themselves, even blow their nose in front of them if they don't know them! I'm like how?! How?! If thye are so fit I'm like omg lets make luv unda tha fire so I try be perf but some girls have that confidence which is like next level shit I just dunno how they do it!
i personally think confidence comes down to two things and two things only: 1 trusting in yourself, your skills, your brains, your heart, trusting in ones self. and 2 proberly the most important: just honestly not giving a shit about what people think.
Jordan Harris agreed
Love this video! I used to be so insecure and when i started to pretend I was confident and that I loved myself in time it became a reality
"the lie becomes the truth" is my life motto
plus if you want to be confident by "faking" it you are being the most true to yourself because YOU want to be a confident person
You are basically making a dream come true
funny thing is
i was a cashier and im still not confident
i can talk to people-especially cashiers with no problems
but i have no confidence in myself
this video should be called how to be more outgoing instead because im capable of that
or maybe i should look for a video called how to develop healthier self esteem >.>
Is there a particular reason you don't have confidence in yourself?
isn't being outgoing related to being confident??
im very outgoing. Ill talk to just about anyone but outside of a school and professional setting,im really afraid.
im not afraid to be rejected by someone i might only see once but becoming closer to someone i see frequently is a big deal and a huge risk to me and im always afraid that theyll think im not interesting.
Do you see how i can say im outgoing but lack confidence.
I only look confident on the outside.
I am currently a cashier at a grocery store and hear people say this 18377218 times a day, there must be more confident people than I thought.
Wish me luck guys, i'm gonna say that to the cashier and i'll tell you the results :D
Denis. She Fucking died
Omg we can't help her
Oops dead
I watched that Ted Talk last year. Her research about power stances is pretty awesome.
I didn't have confidence to speak to this new boy in my class...then he spoke to me I was like o.o dude Cx
When I was 10 I started faking being brave, confident and not caring what others think. It worked everyone was like "you're not scared of anything!" And when someone had to go first and others were scared they were looking at me and I went first. It wasn't a problem for me. I became what I wanted to be. Now I'm 15 and I'm not faking anything.
so any one who is standing beside me and say "Wait, it's not free today?" with the cashier I know where we were from. From the same page.
This is the best confidence video I've seen!! Going to try all of this.
i went to a super market 2 months ago and at the cashier i said wait it's not free today he told me no it's not we laughed and became bros now i'm sleeping with his sister
adam santa kruz Wtf
I love your fresh, bright, intelligent ability to deliver your story. What most others dont take into account is the research bit you bring into your videos. I love them, thankd Derek