There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants an education or to work. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to take care of herself and be in shape. I prefer all these things. But I also want a woman who wants to be a wife and mother, not someone who’s just looking for a sugar daddy while they sleep in all day
This is gonna be the next step in the delusion...my wife works I bring most of income but she has respect towards me to contribute to the relationship...I don't ask her....she has respect for herself as a woman to put forth in our lifestyle to live comfortably happy and in love
Yup. I’m a stay at home mom. I cook three solid meals for my family every day. I do the laundry, the shopping, the cleaning and I homeschool our son. I am up at 4:30 a.m. with my husband. I clean and maintain our church building for a few hundred bucks a month. That money funds homeschool curriculum and our vacations. We rent DVDs from the library instead of having a ton of subscriptions to occupy our child when he wants a movie to watch. I have started going to the gym three times a week to help my momma self feel like my pre-momma self because pregnancy and childbirth took a big toll on my joints and overall health. These “I just want to make art and enjoy nature” girls aren’t living in reality. Yes I knit and sketch and take my son on hikes…but all the other domestic work must happen to justify me not bringing in 50k a year.
There is a BIG difference between: I want to be a wife and mother who raises my children while my husband supports us, and I want to lie around leisurely and love myself. These women are not asking to go back like it used to be. They are asking to do NOTHING while society supports them. I can't be the only one who recognizes this!
Yeah, I don't understand why these people think they should have someone paying for their lifestyle while they do nothing. Either get a good job and date/marry for love and not financial reasons, or marry for both and be willing to play a traditional role and contribute equally to the household. These girls want their cake and they want to eat it too. And the worst part is, guys will actually do that for them because they're pretty 🤦♀🤦♀
That's what I was thinking. They were talking about just wanting to do 'self care' and have a man take care of them and not once did I see a mention of doing anything in return for that.
Here’s the thing, there is a line between being lazy and being feminine. You don’t have to sit around at home all day to be feminine. And you don’t have to be super ambitious either. Just make sure your living your life to the fullest and not scrolling through UA-cam shorts or tik toc all day.
Here’s the thing you forgot: It's very hard to tell just from a glance if someone is just being lazy or being exhausted/burn out from a hustle culture career thatś designed for male biology to withstand- NOT for female biology to work. Sitting around at home all day several days a month is natural if/when youŕe having severe cramps and getting really tired from all the pain killers you have to take to make your body work. Itś also a natural biological reaction for all who are burnt out, regardless of their sex. You don’t have to be lazily assuming that everyone who isen't "living their life to the fullest and not scrolling through UA-cam shorts or tik toc all day" are just "lazy". Also, everything on social media is generally make to LOOK and SOUND like itś so PERFECT, so NO WONDER if the soft-girl image come off as just lazy/luxury-wife/Hollywood wife or whatever. But there SURE IS a much darker background for this "new" (old) phenomena. Behind the happy image, I mean. Just like with any kind of image thatś sold in this world.
@@pyramidion5911do you have kids? Do you know how hard it is ? I’m not no mother or a father but I have 3 year old brother and even tho I’m 15/teenager it is still hard for me EVEN THO IM NOT A MOTHER OR FATHER. The hardest timing is when the baby is still 0 year olds. The baby cries each 1 hour so basically you cannot sleep the whole time, that’s why my mother have to feed and make him tired to sleep while in the MIDNIGHT, that’s why she cannot even sleep in the night, that’s why she becomes moody in the morning and the dad is at work I’m at school so yeah she has to see him the whole day until she sends him to day care and all and come pick him up make dinner and stuff like that
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a career. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a full-time homebody. There IS something wrong with demeaning others who make their choice
@IWillySaySomething exactly, but if we say anything about our lived experiences, we are gaslit and told "nobody demeans homemakers/feminine women" seems like it's all about believing other women's lived experiences (even if you haven't experienced it yourself), unless a traditional woman speaks about her experience.
I really think it is more about women's hypergamy going unchecked. Women are shrinking their dating pool as they move up their careers. Thus, they end up considering only men with the most options. Social media also gives these more desirable men more access to women. They will give attention to, hook up, or situationship with women until they find what they want. The women they play games with then believe they deserve that caliber of men.
Who ARE these crazy women who think that if you're a stay-at-home mom that means you get to focus on self-care and "try less"? I was a stay-at-home mom of 4, who homeschooled them all the way through high school. I did NOT have a soft, cushy life full of facials and Pilates! I had a very full life of caring for my family, but it was rare that anything was really about just me. I'm very glad that's the life I chose, but there was nothing easy about it. I don't know where women are getting this idea that women who actually take care of their homes and families themselves have it easy and get to be pampered all the time.
@tamlawrie4425 Thanks! They are pretty great! One went to college, and graduated with a 4.0 for both her bachelor's and master's degrees, with zero debt. The others chose other paths and are successful in their areas. They all live nearby, so we get to enjoy all our grandkids frequently. We're very blessed. 😊
Right, they make it seem like we just get to do nothing or just care about ourselves 24/7. That's so far from the truth. I'm also a homeschooling stay at home mom. I'm currently pregnant with my third child. I love that I get to be home with my girls everyday experiencing life and taking care of our home and building with my family. I wouldn't want anything else, but at the same time, it is work. I work everyday, all day. Yes I get a break daily during quiet time, but that's only an hour a day. It's not just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing or being in nature all the time.
Also, stay-at-home mom/wife is not an old thing. In the past only those nobles who were rich were at home, the average woman from a lower class worked.
I think it's really important for young women to realize that self-discipline is a huge part of being a stay at home wife/mother. I'm 32 and a mother of 6. I stay home and homeschool our children and my husband works full time. It has been this way most of our marriage but it has taken me awhile to realize how much work goes into being a loving mother/wife. You enforce the structure of your home and are mostly responsible for instilling good daily habits in your children as they will naturally imitate the way you carry yourself on a daily basis. It is truly such a joy but very hard work if you desire to instruct and encourage your children in the way they should go. The Lord gives wisdom to those who ask and the one who seeks him diligently will find encouragement to be steadfast. As a young woman it is easy to be discouraged and lose sight of the purpose of it all, there isn't always an immediate reward for the seemingly mundane tasks of daily life, but God sees all that we do and will reward us richly if we continue to strive for the eternal crown and encourage that others do the same.
She is SO obviously/blatantly religious and modest in all she writes, so it would probably NOT be her preference, LOL. But if humans live more back to their root cultures and create supportive communities, child-care for the weekends would NOT be a problem for stay-at-home mums. They could easily go out partying or doing whatever they feel like on some time off from the job of raising children and other unpaid jobs they do every day at home.@@axs-xq7cq
As a 17 year old girl who would love to be a wife and mother, possibly in missions with my future husband- I love this. Thank you for sharing your story.🫶
There is a big difference between thinking you can be feminine and live a life of leisure and being a feminine traditional wife who contributes to a relationship.
I think these women want even less responsibilities without the work, as usual. Again, this will backfire on women...again because they literally don't even know how to be women anymore.
I was about to comment until I read your post. This “soft living” is still not based in reality. Our consumerism is also a problem. Traditional roles had men working and providing while the women took care of the homestead. Examples… food prep, clothing maintenance, managing children, educating children, etc. Soft girls mean entitled rich girls. Still 1% of population and not reality for most. Life means work…
@@Ddickey85The "soft girl" era is a bunch of women now saying "I'll take back seat." When they mean "I'll be a backseat driver." Traditional women did not have chauffeurs for husbands, they worked.
They're not reversed. Men can do and be literally anything they want it's just that women currently have the option to be and do something other than "just" a housewife (nothing wrong with that). Doesn't mean they ALL have to. No one is forcing them to, but it's good to have the FREEDOM to choose. Isn't that what America is all about?
@@whocares_beareveryone can be whatever they want. However, men are ridiculed for being masculine, and women are ridiculed for being feminine. How is that not role reversal?
@@beans4853 It's mostly on the internet or at least it stems from there. Also social pressure is real, but it's still your choice whether as a women you embody your feminine energy and same for men when it comes to their masculine energy. Everyone needs to grow a backbone! Live your life and respect others lifestyle choices.
As a stay at home mom of two, a toddler and a baby, I have to say that this sounds very much like what people "think" motherhood is like. Most people think staying at home with the kids is very leisurely and full of self care. In actuality, this is the hardest thing I have ever done but also the most fulfilling. I wouldn't change my life for anything, in fact I even want more kids. After giving birth to my second child, my husband had a few weeks of paternity leave and by the end of it he readily admitted that I have the harder job and he is very happy to be the one making the money.
So funny because after a week into his paternity leave, my husband said he preferred to work because it was easier😂 I think it’s so good for dads to take their paternity time so they can get a better understanding of how hard managing a home with kids is.
@@Lmr2021 I did and found that I'd love nothing more than to stay with my little champ and spend more time with him. Maybe it gets tedious after a while and can be a bit exhausting...... but hard? No way. I got used to screaming and crying right away. That's how babies communicate - so "dealing with it" was the only rational approach. We don't live in medieval times - washing clothes takes almost no effort whatsoever, cleaning - same, cooking- same. Plus cooking is exceptionally rewarding because, flash news, you yourself also .. eat. Then he grew up a bit and we started going to a playground.... damn, it was amazing. Guess there are different dads/men.
My husband was jobless for 3 weeks and so he got to stay home with me and our 2 year old. By the time he found another job he admitted he loves us but he really just wants to go back to work because he could not handle staying home all of the time. He's not sure how I do it. Lol I think it gave him a new perspective because he hasn't bothered me anymore if I don't get something done that day.
@@mikewall8798ummmm haha are you a stay at home mom?…if you let your iPad parent your kids and feed them fruit snacks for lunch on the daily then maybe it’s easier. But if you actually want to train your kids to be good, contributing members to society, and put effort into keeping up with housework and nourishing meals, you don’t even have time for book clubs 😂
My mother and MIL HATE the fact that I'm a SAHM. They are Silent Gen. My MIL can't stand that I don't go to work, come home, take care of the house, three kids, and husband because that's what she did. Now I do ALOT. Housework, repairs, appointments, yardwork, sports, make sure the money goes where it's supposed to, and much more. My husband only really needs to focus on his job. They genuinely think that I'm lazy because I have zero desire to have a career. I love taking care of my boys, husband, and home. I have a side hustle so that I have my own spending money. They're so bitter and it really hurts. When my boys no longer need me (one isn't in school yet) at the home I will get a part time job but further than that my priority will be them, the house, and my husband. I can't wait for being a SAHM is no longer looked down at or mocked.
I think a lot of older women slaved at jobs, hated it, and now are jealous of women who make better choices and have less stressful lives. It sounds like you are a hard worker who truly cares about your family - and if you were in a more traditional Eastern country it would be considered honourable. But Western feminist women hate and are jealous of SAHMs. Wish you all the best!
@@theanonymousasmrchanelguid2620 Thanks for representing the idiocy of your ilk. You know NOTHING about her or her husband. He couldn't get another JOB? They don't have insurance? Did she say she REFUSED to work? YOU'RE JEALOUS because YOUR life is PATHETIC and you caused it yourself.
The Silent Generation is people born 1928 to 1945. That means they both MUST be minimally 79 if not OLDER and the product of the depression. So your story is nonsense doesnt make sense and is completely different from every other person in that generation let alone TWO of them.
Anything that is trend will eventually go away and to be replaced with another one. Women need to stay true to who we are. If you’re naturally a girl boss, be a girl boss. If you’re a soft girl, be one. Be yourself and be natural. Don’t run with the trend because you will end up losing yourself or get tired of being someone that is not truly who you are.
This. Its really annoying seeing the "____girl" trends. Just let women live their life how they want. Women's lifestyles being random trends on the internet is so stupid
THIS comment! If you want to work, work. If you want to be a SAHH, do it. If you want to be single forever and have no kids or partner, do it. Seriously, women (and men) should just live the life they want and society shouldn't shame anyone for whatever life they lead. ❤
As a 40 week pregnant stay at home mom of a toddler, I can promise you, nothing about this life is “soft” or “leisurely.” It is a grind and you’d better believe I’m “hustling” day in and day out. The only difference between women like me and many women who live the girl boss life is that I do what I do for my husband and daughters, not for a promotion or a raise. My promotion will come years down the road when my daughters make me a grandma, and my pay comes in the form of watching my two year old play with and love on her daddy and feeling my baby move inside my womb. God’s design for a woman falls right in between the “soft girl” and “girl boss” tropes where I lean into my feminine by working hard from sun up to sundown to give a beautiful and meaningful life to my family, and in return I receive the same thing. And it’s 100% worth it ♥️
That's exactly the life my wife and have lived in raising our 3 great kids in our 52 year marriage. The later life benefits will be rich and beautiful for you, milady. Guaranteed! All the respect in the world to you!
@@Tom-ut6ky so much respect to you!! I can’t wait to look back on 50+ years of marriage to my husband and thank God for the blessings He gave us through our kids and marriage! It’s so worth any sacrifice!
Thank you! You helped explain this so well!! I completely agree with everything you said. It does pay off! I'm beginning to reap my benefits ❤ My oldest son is now a MPAC, PA-C Hospitalist. My youngest son is excelling in college. They have a firm grasp in reality. They also understand the strength and importance of family and working hard. Just wait until your day comes❤
I've always been a a tomboy and socially awkward, But I wanted to be a stay at home mom. The one thing more frustrating than being single in my thirties is people assuming I'm a feminist and this is what I want. It's not and it never was.
I want to be a stay at home mom one day, but I feel like I have no choice because I have student loans to pay and so I have to work, I don’t feel I can ever just not work. I know some people will say you can do it both but do they not realize that somethings gotta give? You’ll make a sacrifice either with kids or your career, and I don’t care about climbing a corporate ladder, I want fulfillment… but what do I do when I have bills and loans to pay back?
@@Alisson_Chains that's tough... If you're looking for advice, I'd say be very intentional moving forward. Get involved in activities that will bring about relationships that are built on mutual respect and admiration. Work on your debt, and make sacrifices now so it doesn't bog down the choices you want to make in your marriage and with your kids. I actually pulled out of the dating scene because I was struggling financially and I could feel that I was starting to see marriage as an out which wouldn't be fair to my future husband. I also started to compromise on the type of man I sought after, so I pulled back for some clarity. While I think it was the right thing to do, I made the mistake of not returning. It's been over 7 years since I've even tried and that's on me. Wish you the best. I hope you find what you're looking for... Don't lose hope. Don't compromise on the big things.
its so cirnge because most of our mothers lived an old school life and now everyone finds it ground breaking that just having a family is "actually possible 🤯"
not at all my mom went to school and worked. Her mother would always tell her to make an excellent grade so she can be a teacher because at that time being a teacher was one of the only jobs a woman could do her. My grandmom will always tell her to work hard and make money so she doesn't have to depend on her husband like she(my grandmom) did. My mom now a successful woman, making thousands of dollars and being the breadwinner of the family , still performs Motherly duties . My mom was born in 1960 . There;s nothing wrong in wanting to be an independent woman it's how these radical feminist word the whole thing
And you know that is the kind of ideal that makes so many women burn out, because biologically, most women can NOT keep that all up at the pace of this age... Which was kind of the whole point of this video. I guess you missed it. Not all women are able to be a super-woman who can do it all, LOL@@demonexplains1449
I was a stay at home mom, but I worked hard at it. It was not a soft life, but it was in the home. I was grateful to be able to raise my own children, but it was difficult on our finances. But we did it and we're glad. 5 children and 42 years married.
A woman who takes care of her family works hard. Raising children is challenging. Let's not think it's about spending our time making ourselves look beautiful and doing coffee with friends.
Right, I laughed so much. I was a SAHM, and it definitely wasn't my time of self-care, lazing around on moss beds and making lovely memories. That happened a lot less than before when I was working. This kind of thinking leads to Dads saying "You have just been home all day" to moms.
It's definitely hard work. Keeping kids engaged, fed, happy all day is exhausting. But some women want a luxury lifestyle where they can get a nanny and a cleaner while they go out for brunch with their friends.
You must not know what it’s like to have to run a household and raise children 24/7 if you think it’s easy. I’ve had jobs working 70 hours a week and they were a cakewalk compared to being a full time stay at home mother.
Your doing the most important job in society, lots of gen z where raised at school and by babysitters and we have the worst mental health of all other generations
While I agree with this shift, the soft girl era may have the same core problem as girl boss: selfishness. Life is not about living the perfect life you dream of - we’re created to be builders! And women are wired to enjoy building a home (which is incredibly hard work…ask any awesome homemaker). That doesn’t mean you can’t choose to build something different! But in the end, whatever you choose to build (whether that’s a career or a home), don’t let selfishness be the center. ♥️
This. My wife and I are starting a homestead so she can become a SAHM. She works so damn hard everyday, gonna be even more so once we get the homestead up and running
Life means working TOGETHER -and NOT just working hard individually so that you can get praise for working SO HARD. That is ALSO very selfish/boastful. That being said, being a trophy luxury wife to some rich man to get likes on instagram is offcourse selfish as hell, just as working your ass of in a company or with a spouse to be praised for that lifestyle. But in order NOT to be selfish/self-centered humans need to be in REALLY CLOSE COMMUNITIES TOGETHER. Some people on this earth still get this is the way of actually LIVING and not just working for your own/your own family. But Western individualistic culture kills attempts at real back to human roots life. Be it Hollywood wifes or isolated off-the-grid families.
It's super nice that after 20 years of being a stay at home mom who homeschools our 5 children, it's starting to be looked at positively. Us SAHs have had people pushing us into the workforce and putting us down for years.
@@pyramidion5911 You clearly have never spent time around children, she has FIVE, she couldn't be lazy if she wanted to. Her day is more productive than most, and the fruits of her labor will have a more positive impact on society than if she was a corporate warrior.
Thank you so much for saying it out loud!! I don’t like the girl boss culture, but I also hate it when women say they just want to stay home, do self care, and relax for life. 😭 Being a stay at home wife and mother is hard work too, and it should be! To do it justice, you need to take care of your husband, children if there are any, the rest of your family, home, and community. Do whatever you can to grow and give back, no matter what you do with your life! 😊
The soft girl life is really achievable by the rich. I think we should all take care of ourselves to avoid burnout, but we should be more realistic about the soft girl trend
As a man, honestly nothing is more attractive to me than the idea of coming home to my wife after work and spending time with her (and hopefully one day the kids) to unwind and just bask in the simple pleasures of home. To be with a woman who just wants to be a woman sounds like heaven-on-earth to me.
@@mardeeshackI think you missed the point. If a full time working woman is coming home you share equal household responsibilities and both are equally tired. Thus she can't provide equal care and attention to her spouse and be "as soft"
@@Kirrie_Sushicatbeing soft doesn't make you a woman, or then dylan mulvaney becomes one. Do you think a women staying at home to take care of everything, the kids and the house, will be oh so rested and ready to be your support system because you're completely deprived of and emotional side when you come home? As in if someone doesn't bring out emotions in you they're just absent? You're dellusional. This is your fantasy of a woman, and it's the reason why traditional relatonships fell apart: the men think their wives are doing nothing all day, and women think about how lucky their husband is to go an interact with people and earn money. They both so seperate from each other's lives they get dellusional and fantasize about what the other's life looks like, neither actually appreciating each other's work and contribution. And before you come and call me a feminist (which I'm not) and insult me, and say that I hate trad roles, I don't. I think each person is free to do whatever they want, but at least if you'll persue a traditional relationship have realistic expectations and fix the things that clearly caused problems and misery in trad marriages in the past. Nothing more dangerous than people forgetting history which everybody seems to be doing lately to counter the "wokeness", without acknowledging their were legitimate flaws in trad marriages.
That's all I've ever wanted and I'm having such a hard time finding a man for it. Always despised feminists for forcing me into this lifestyle I do not want and am obliged to move into. It's just sad and depressing.
I’m happy to be the sole provider, and I’m lucky that I have the ability to do that in this economy. But I want a wife who understands that I can’t do it alone and I need her support. I need love, food, and sex. I need those things not just when she’s in the mood for it, I need them almost ever day. It seems like a lot of women want a husband who will treat them like a daughter: provide everything for them and expect nothing in return. Well it’s nice to be able to provide that to your wife sometimes, but the only way to have the energy and strength to do that every day is to have a second wife that gives you the support you need. Personally I’d prefer to just have one.
The entire reason I pursued nursing was because in my mind it’s easier to be a mom and a nurse than to be a mom and a doctor. Whenever I gave that answer, I was surprised by how many people looked at me funny because “why on earth would you take that into consideration?” and “you can be a doctor and a mom too!”. I know, but no call hours, an incredibly variable schedule, and being able to leave work at work seems a lot easier to me. People get defensive, like I’m attacking them when they discover I prioritize planning for a family in the future, but I have no idea why? What could be more important than my future family? Nothing.
There are some specialties in medicine that are more family friendly. If you’re an anesthesiologist, you could do ambulatory surgery and have no nights/call/weekends/holidays and you could probably even find a place to work part time. Most days you’d be out by 3 pm. Rheumatology and dermatology are among the better ones for work/life balance. It’s doable but really you just have to decide if you want want to be a doctor or a nurse and what makes you happy in the long term. Nurses can have to work nights, weekends, holidays, and take call too in some specialties so it really just depends on what you want to do and what makes you happy. I’ve met a lot of nurses that are bitter and burned out too.
I guess it depends on what nursing field you're in. A lot of people automatically think of nurses like hospital er type with the long hours/ limited days off. Maybe that's why that's their response
@@blueiris1542we can change our perception of that though. Gen z saw the stress of women working and experienced that in our moms. Now women are actually fed up with being told what we want and are exhausted with the grind. We are coming to terms with who we are meant to be biologically
Feminism has brainwashed women into believing that women who want to be a good wife and mother are oppressed. The feminists resort to shaming them into abandoning their desires, convincing them it is wrong.
@@karazech6755 True! I just want women in general to have a choice in their lives and who they want too be. This feminine vs masculine women, girl boss vs sahm battle is annoying and unproductive!
I am a very masculine woman (an engineer), and even I wish I could have been a STAHM, surrounded by babies and tending to my husband. I was disappointed hearing women talk about wanting to quit work to go be lazy and pampered. The traditional gender roles were different, but both genders still put in a lot of work. Being a STAHM is fulfilling, but it's not an easy life of smoothies and spa days. Yet it seems to be what many of them think traditional femininity means.
Yup.. I would say it's even harder, I used to be a project manager for a firm. It was mental stress but definitely not as much as what I feel now with my two children (STAHM) I love it though and wouldn't trade it ❤️
Yup! I worked as an arborist for 7 years (typically a masculine job) and due to a recurring injury then worked in childcare and as a nanny for 7 years working 15 hour days when I was single. Now I am a stay-at-home mother of 2, married to a cattle farmer. I had more 'me time' when I was single and working 15-hour days! 🤣
Yeah at least women in the past raising children had that goal of raising good people for the next generation. The government has been gunning for the mother role since government existed. Nothing better than to raise your next gen of soulless worker slaves and meat shield soldiers.
As an engineer as well, this title/career choice does not make anyone the opposite of their gender. What makes women masculine is attempting to take on the role of a traditional man at home but women projected their pass experiences into this role making them believe being masculine is toxic behavior. Just an observation and thought of that one little correlation you made there however I do agree on all your points. I'm seeing a big resignation movement in the company I work for which even my supervisor is beginning to act prejudice towards women and may I say that my supervior/boss is a woman.
My mother was a traditional woman/wife/mother. She took care of the house; shopping, cooking, raising us kids, sewed our clothes, helped with the garden, preserved food (so we could eat), helped take care of the budget and helped my dad take care of the books for their assigned church(s), helped with things at the church(s) when needed (most years), when my father had a massive heart attack (widow maker that he survived) she helped with services for 6 months; she dressed nicely; her hair was never out of place (she did NOT waste time on over primping because she knew she didn’t need or have to do so), she was joyful and yes, she was educated and could, in fact, work if/when she wanted to do so…not a soft girl…she was a real woman and did not have to go “boss” to prove it.
My mom hates that i want to be a house wife at my age, since she thinks that everyone should work until they can retire or cant work anymore. I asked her one question that made her question that notion: "Are you happy?" Her only happiest moments that she recalls was when she could just be a mom.
For the vast majority of young women there is no reason why they cannot have a profession by the time they are 24 that they can carry in their family life. They do not need to h@ve a job if they do not desire it.
@@Art-is-craft Well, you need a job until you can settle down with a guy... Kinda need to pay bills. What I'm saying is that no job gives me that sense of fulfillment than being at home and keeping things clean. Gives the people who do go to work a nice home to come rest in.
Being a housewife is still work, though. It's just a different kind of work, and the payment isn't material, but it makes you much richer than a paycheck.
I'm a woman who wanted to get educated (currently hold a Master's degree, super close to the PhD), but I am now a stay at home, homeschooling mom. I am passing on my knowledge and education to my children. There is nothing more satisfying than raising my kiddos while my husband works and brings home the bacon. I run the household and educate our kids, keep a sparkling clean home, and cook daily. Needless to say, my kids, I think, are living the life 🤭❤. Nothing wrong with having a little bit of both worlds (girl boss/trad wife).
@@ReineDeLaSeine14$100k debt to teach her kids basic things her university course almost certainly wouldn't be appropriate to teach kids. How didn't she?
I had THAT life in the 70s when I was a kiddo. My brothers and sisters had a mother that was closely engaged with them all & created a civilised & loving environment. I regret that MY OWN household with 2 FULL-TIME JOB parents couldn't raise our kiddos in the same natural way.
All college did was indoctrinate me. I was a Marxist liberal the entire time I was in education and I literally didn't become a conservative until I got married. So much wasted effort on my part.
I think both are great. I am a corporate woman. I make above 6 figures, I work 60-70 hr/week, and I’ve QUICKLY climbed. I also run my household. Cleaning, organization, cooking, groceries, dr appt, etc. my husband helps clean, and that’s super helpful. I love my life and that we have nice things but I am going on year 7 of infertility. Would trade all of this in to slow down and work on healing my body so we can conceive. Unfortunately my life is so fast that taking the time to work out consistently and heal just has not been my top priority, and as a ladder climber, it’s one of my biggest regrets.
You can make all the money in the world the rest of your life… you only have a short time to make a baby. Don’t let work/finances make you regret your decision later in life.
Close but no cigar, Brett - the "soft girl life" is not about re-discovering femininity and motherhood, it's about being a spoiled princess living a lavish and lazy life, where you do NOTHING but "self-care" and scrolling TikTok all day. Going on trips for your own enjoyment, going to the spa, having shopping sprees, etc. It is about the "rich" lifestyle, they just CALL it the "soft girl" life. It IS about not working, but it is ALSO about not having a family and raising kids. It is sheer self-indulgence and lazy, spoiled brat-ism, expecting others to work for you and pay for EVERYTHING, while you do NOTHING!
As my mom always said - there are seasons for your life and embrace them. She homeschooled 3 kids till we were in our teens. Went back to work part time. Went full time when I was 15 and I was the baby of the family. She’s had a flourishing career in the county since and is still working. That’s not even going over her career before she had kids! It’s okay to have seasons!
As a trad wife who loves her job, I’m still a little insulted that it is considered a “soft girl” thing… clearly these girls have never crawled inside their garbage cans to scrub them out for fall cleaning 😂.
Yes something tells me these girls don’t know that a country cottage usually comes with a BUNCH of spiders and mice that need dealing to. Hopefully they rise to the challenge when they find out
I have two children a toddler and an infant and am currently a sahm. The thing I'm hearing is "soft girls" want to focus on self care and enjoying life, but are missing the piece of the puzzle that is caring for a family and home is a full time job. Unless you are lucky enough to have a husband who makes a ton of money you're not doing yoga and admiring nature all day while looking forward to your evening bath. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom ans having the time with my kids, but it absolutely is work.
Well said....Im nowhere near a SAHP. Even as an older brother who used to change my lil bros diapers, I still yell at him for pissing on me when he was months old 😂😂. I can't imagine all day stay at home dads
@@JB-tz8fuima "stay at home dad" and i work from home its not hard at all u literally clean, take care of the kids, cook, play wit the kids and laundry that's pretty much it i understand people wanna say its "hard work" or whatever but it really isn't and i also work from home while doing this lmao. Not trying to take anything away from stay at home parents but it aint hard at all. Having patients is honestly the only thing u truly need lol.
@@subzero308homeschooling? Gardening (for food for the family) raising livestock? Being a sahp is wayyyyy more than what you just said. It sounds like you're doing the bare minimum. Don't compare your sahp experience to everyone else's.
@@JB-tz8fu don't believe subzero308. He's either lying or has a amazing support system that not everyone has. And by support, I mean someone else helping with the kiddos. I've never met anyone (male or female) work and parent and call it easy 😂
I married at 18, had 2 kids after 3 years of us enjoying our time together. I was a sahm the entire time until they were 10 & 11. When covid hit I used it to find a wah job that allowed me to still make food and ensure the house was taken care of. It was scary to go back to work but I felt called to do so. Thankfully I did because 1 year later my daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor and 4 months after that my husband collapsed and found out he has thyroid cancer. He went downhill fast and quickly was no longer able to work. While my job couldnt support us i applied and was able to get promoted that was enough to support barely but we have survived. I thank God everyday because if I had not listened and got the job i dont know how we would have made it. I dont know if I will ever be able to return to a sahm, but working from home has given me a middle ground and made it possible for me to handle most of the house (hubby helps when he can) and a career.
@@huitrecouture they applied and has been given disability but it is not alot, and no his job did not offer short or long term disability leave. We have life insurance but not a living rider. He was doing strong man competitions we did not expect cancer at 34.
I grew up watching my mom and dad have traditional roles in their relationship. My mom stayed home, my dad worked; and the only time my mom would work is if my dad needed severe help, and even then, my mom knew it was a temporary thing. Because I grew up watching that, I also wanted that because I saw how happy my mom was being able to stay home, take care of me and my friends, and take care of the house. I was lucky enough to meet someone that had the same mindset and wanted to be the money maker while I stayed at home and took care of things there. I honestly can't see myself being anywhere else other then home and making sure my fiancé is taken care of. It makes him happy as well because we both get what we want.
My senior year of high school I told my best friend I didn’t plan on going to university. My dream/ goal was to become a stay at home wife. I expected her to support my dream or, at least, for her to have a positive reaction, but I remember her telling me “you want to give your life away to a man and have him govern over you, what a waste”. I went home and cried. After HS I worked many 9 to 5 jobs, climbed my way up the corporate ladder, had a really great paying job with a great company. I gave all that up almost a year ago when my baby was born. I’m living my dream. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of my baby and husband is the most rewarding job I could ever have.
aww good on you! I worked for 11+ years as a nurse and quit this past June to raise our baby. Being home isn't easy by any means, but it's definitely a calling for some!
I was an honor student in high school. In my senior year, my principal called me in his office to talk about my plans for my future. He was shocked to hear that I didn’t have big plans to move away to a big university. I just wanted to go to the local community college until I figured out exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew I didn’t want to chase a corporate career. I wanted to pay my bills of course, but ultimately I just wanted to be a wife and mom, and live a happy, simple life on a little farm. My principal was so disappointed with my plans. Here I am, 14 years out of high school, a wife and mama living on a little farm, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
One of the first things that a married couple should do is to have a joint investment portfolio that grows over decades. It is not just about retirement but the ability for the women to have financial power.
@@Art-is-craft You must be lost. This is not the side of UA-cam where women are ruined by living in fear of loss or being left stranded. Here women trust in the their husbands, just as their husbands trust them with hire lives and homes. You are obsessed with finances and power. Of course any good couple has investments jointly.
Good for you ❤ My only issue with that is to be financially dependent on your husband because women can be stuck in very sad situations because of this. I do hope you have a great guy by your side! :)
My wife appreciates my efforts to take care of her and the family. She enjoys raising our children and acknowledges it’s hard to be a homemaker but absolutely wouldn’t trade her lot for anything!
As a millennial, I’ve felt this way for a long time 😂 I worked 2 jobs all of my 20s and into my early 30s. We were programmed to hustle and earn our way in the world like generations before us. Even now, my work pressures us to do more. Why? I don’t want a promotion. I like what I do and I don’t want more. I want less. I want the slow cozy life and time to spend with my spouse and our friends and family.
This. I tried going for the promotion for all of my 20s, hit as far as the companies would allow me about every time, and wound up with extreme burnout for dead end pay every time. It’s not worth it and I’m finally done for good. I’ll hustle for my own gig that will set me up to raise kids in a more relaxed setting but that is all. I’m not grinding for something that doesn’t absolutely set my soul on fire.
You're so great Brett! So happy there are young woman like you. I'm 33 and fell into the hustle "girl boss" culture and burnt out. Now I'm struggling with finding somewhere safe and secure to live. Shifting my priorities from hustling and finishing un-rewarding projects to my safety, comfort and happiness has helped my health immensely.
Great video. I'm 39 and sick of the corporate trash life. Babyboomer bosses expect younger generations to be workaholics. Without knowing the "soft girl movement," I fell into it. Wanting to explore natural product making, herbalism and cooking things from scratch leaving behind overprocessed foods. I changed from liberal to conservative in the last two years. I miss the simpler days.
As a Millennial man, I'm glad you finally came back to reality, but I'm infuriated that it took you so long. I mean, seriously, 20 years of adult life to figure out this stuff? The men figured it out within five years. This is one of many reasons why the Founding Fathers did not include women in the list of people who could vote. Read George Orwell's classic "1984". It was the women, and especially the young women, who fell hardest for the campaign slogans and propaganda. It's exactly the same in reality, and now that we have high-speed internet and social media, we see example after example of how these "bigoted" men were right all along.
@selohcin I'm an elder millennial who was fed 24/7 that I had to be independent, stay single, make money, etc, etc etc. Everyone struggles in their lives, and some do it alone like me. If you feel you got your balance quickly congrats, but don't judge me because it's comments and beliefs like this that made me prefer to be alone rather than be in a judgmental friendship or relationship.
I had a 180-degree soft girl revolution of my own a couple years ago at 23 lol. My parents practiced very fundamentalist, Duggar-style Christianity when I was young, and as soon as I was 18 I _revolted_ against femininity, because with that upbringing, I saw femininity as performative and all about how long and modest your skirt was. So I cut all my hair off into a boy-short pixie cut, wore baggy clothing, refused makeup, and acted masculine AF. But after a few years of that, I felt worn out and not myself. It just took time for that understandable repulsion at _performative_ femininity to wear off. So I started tentatively exploring makeup again, growing out my hair, and wearing pretty, soft, form-fitting dresses that showed off the curves I was trying to hide. And literally within _4 months_ of doing that, I met my future husband, and we got married 7 months later. And I'm so happy now. I work from home as a social media and website manager, I do all the laundry and the cooking, I _actually want to have kids now,_ and we're looking to buy a house and some land to homestead and homeschool on. The soft girl revolution happened to me, and it's glorious and amazing. 10/10 recommend. 😆✨
I am privileged to be a stay at home mom, I still have to work at home: cook, clean, take care of my children, but it makes me very happy the fact that I can be present in their lives and love them, play with them and learn every old "new" thing that they discover 😅 Like when they say 😲 "mamaaaaaa look that's a car!!!!!!" And me like 😲😲😲 " omg yes it is a car!!!!" People have forgotten that kids are fun and cute 🫤
You have to love how media portrays it as one or the other extreme and that's it. I look at my teenage daughter who loves being active and looks forward to working in robotics and having a family. She is not a boss babe, but she's not a soft girl either. I suspect that most people fall in the middle and this messaging isn't doing anything to help them.
Tik Tok makes people parrot what they see on the internet. I once had the same 'being soft and feminine,' conversation with 3 different women and I realised they all must be on Tik Tok following this trend. Good on your daughter for being headstrong and herself.
@beastbombshell3589 no... You don't understand. Public school is teaching kids debauchery, communism, and attempting to strip values... It's a never ending fight to keep your kids on the right track with the demons in public school. Homeschool is the only way, no matter the sacrifice
@beastbombshell3589 yeah it’s tough, it’s really hard. But it’s pretty much the only way you can know everything their being taught because your the one teaching it. I don’t have much else to add you know what it’s like being a homeschool mom and it’s the most rewarding job.
@beastbombshell3589 you most certainly can try to teach them whatever you want but they’re at that school for around eight hours every day. They’re gonna be hearing and learning a lot of stuff that’s hard to filter out.
Honestly, it's just too hard for most families to be able to do this. I do very well, live in Texas, and am generally very traditional. However, though it's not important to me how successful a woman is, I'm also not looking for someone I need to take care of and support. Also, some of these videos talking about staying home, relaxing, and taking care of themselves just seems lazy. Historically, a stay at home wife would work the home for most of the day. Running errands, keeping the home clean, making meals, taking care of the kids, and even possibly home schooling the children. Stay at home moms are NOT "soft girls". They simply choose to commit themselves to working in the home instead of the corporate world.
THIS! The “girlboss” is the stay at home mom. This trend got popular because women see mothers, likely our own, who did the traditional role of a mother but also had to work full time. I think it’s mainly a movement of women rejecting this (that’s why we also see a trend of decentering the men who are likely causing mothers to work outside of the home, or creating more work in the home
The only vibe I get from these TikTokers is that they just want to lay around and read books and roll around in the leaves and it's really just a different vibe of selfishness wrapped up in "self-care".
I like tomboys. Nothing wrong with liking masculine things. Being able to do both leads to fun possibilities. She doesn't have to be super girly to be feminine, just chill and willing to raise a family and be a loving mother.
@@pepperonipizzailyyou can still be feminine and not wear make up! I never wear makeup, but it's getting in touch with your feminine self, it goes way deeper than the surface!
@@pepperonipizzaily Trust me guys find it way more attractive that you don't feel the need to put on make up. Also makes it more special if you do, at an event or a wedding for example.
I see many men saying, "there is a problem with educating too many women" or "you can't be a good mother and have a job." However, these men need to understand that they imagine a perfect world where all couples stay together till the end. There are many factors in real life that can cause couples to break up/divorce. Many times, men start being emotionally or physically abusive later in a relationship, or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing. In the end, women are at a loss. Nowadays, a high-paying job requires education, so it is way better for women to get an education (of course, if they want to!) I have also noticed a repeating tendency from the comments and real-life experience where men want a stay-at-home wife who takes care of the house and children while being the one who earns money. But most of them also think that just because they bring in money, they don't have to be present in their wives' lives (being emotionally available and supportive) or in their children's lives. To be a good dad means spending quality time with your children and not immediately going to the sofa to watch something or play games after work, telling your son who wants to play with you, "Leave me alone, I'm tired because I worked all day." Most of the time, men miss out on that and eventually become absent parents, which results in mental health issues in children later in life (maybe not always but most of the time). There are also many men who like highly motivated women with big career goals, and there is nothing wrong with that. Y'all just can't accept that women have their own individuality and self-worth to not be fully dependent on men. At the end of the day, I think it is up to women to decide what they want. Do they want to work? Nice! Do they want to be a stay-at-home wife? Sure! You just need to find a partner who aligns with your beliefs and views on life.
The choice days are over simply because the economic / monetary system is now based on 2 workers since labor pool is saturated. We'll all need a few decades to build a society of some sort again. It can be done.
"Many times, men start being emotionally or physically abusive later in a relationship, or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing. In the end, women are at a loss." ya 805 of the divorce cases are initiated by women and akmost all divorce rewards are rewarded to women along with kids and even house at times, now single women own more houses than men thanks to the divorce perks. many times men tyrn abu$ive? there are more men who are victims of dv than women it is just not talked about because women are angels narrative wont fit, over 33% of marriages in US are zexless so why WOMEN ONLY TALK ABOUT EMOTIONALLY UNAIVABLE MEN AND NEVER WOMEN? "In the end, women are at a loss" how? when women are the ones rewarded for breaking the marriage? "or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing" are you really this obvili0us or deliberately ign0rant to the reality to paint women as vicctims? if anyting it is men that are losing everything ,including his kids, while she brings another man into his house and a step dad to his kids. 80% od divorce cases filed by women yet men are the ones leVIng? whaat security men have in marriage? western tr@sh generation of women are incapable of empathy for men and men's issues and the desparation to paint women as innocent agels is astonishing. More i listen to western women and how little fook they give about men makes me realize how seelfi$h and di$gusting female nature is. and you are the kind of womn men should risk their lives and save while you do not give a flying fook about men and even worse paint women as the victims when they are the ones leaving marriages for divorce perks
"But most of them also think that just because they bring in money, they don't have to be present in their wives' lives (being emotionally available and supportive) or in their children's lives." okay lets hear where this is heading " To be a good dad means spending quality time with your children " okay " not immediately going to the sofa to watch something or play games after work, telling your son who wants to play with you, "Leave me alone, I'm tired because I worked all day." Most of the time, men miss out on that and eventually become absent parents, which results in mental health issues in children later in life (maybe not always but most of the time). " so basically after his long hours of work now he should be ready to be the present parant and play with the child and make her feel special like a fooking robot? how dare he take an hour or so break after work and right away sswitck back to playing with the child or pamper the grown woman? after all that is his job be a w@ge sl@ve and come back to hoemm to be a grown woman emotional tamp0n. women wonder men are do not want to marry anymore, yaa i wonder too
I learnt about this in English and honestly it’s kind of annoying but what annoys me the most is that girls call other girls pick me if they want to succeed
If you happen to be naturally a masculine woman, live your life and go on with what you’re doing. What ever works for you and your (potential) partner is great. But don’t try and push all women to be the same masculine “girl boss” that society tries to push.
Which is true, although women are socially oriented, they often have an overwhelming desire for validation from peers (other women). They seek status among their peers based upon themselves and especially their mates. What went wrong long ago was too many other women sold the idea that family is a secondary or even a third in value within ones life, when it obviously should be first priority.
But who doesn't work these days? Unless you're blessed with rich parents. Working and be financially independent isn't a masculine trait. It's a human trait, just trying to survive.
I love being a SaH mom, but it is a full time job by itself. I can’t even imagine trying to be out in the workforce as well. I am so thankful for my husband’s commitment to take care of and provide for our family.
Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job. They pay people to do what you are doing for free. I see too many women who have to work in AND outside of the home, 100% of the day, while their partner does 50% or less consistently. Marriages are supposed to be a partnership, and it sounds like you have that. I would not encourage anyone to be a stay at home mom unless if they had a husband like yours- a provider.
Amen! My husband and I recognized a long time ago that our roles in our home made each other's preferred lives possible. He can be the protector/provider because I am being the nurturer/home keeper and vice versa. ❤ Our kids love it. I love it. He loves it. It WORKS for us!
Staying at home is nothing like a full time job. You must be using your imagination if you think it's even remotely close to what people are actually dealing with at work.
As a masculine woman, I love being masculine. Always have been. Hung out with boys since elementary school. When I try to become more "femenine" I become miserable. I can do it, but I'm miserable. I prefer strength over vulnerability. Let's normalize everyone doing whatever they want. If you tell people they're doing their sex "wrong", they become trans, mutilating their bodies for stupid expectations. Don't fall into that trap.
Single mother for 12 years. Working multiple jobs. Living on our own and taking care of of everything always. It’s exhausting being the dad/masculine and trying to also be soft.
yet dad's don't get applaud for doing so. I always thought if women actually worked like men they would apricate how men worked for women. I guess that was false like even man don't scream i don't need no women i can do everything on my own cause we know its not good for us to do so.
@mamajedi745 I don't know about the get paid more man. I pay most of the expenses and recreation costs for my lady, AND IT'S THE SAME THING ALL OVER MY COUNTRY. Like a huge percentage of the spending are out of my pocket though we bought are earners. It would be nice to make it 50-50 though, so we can Universally damand a 50-50 spending, IN EVERYTHING. Time to torpedo the idea of the men being tje providers. Both party SHOULD BE PROVIDERS.
@mamajedi745 I'm afraid women are not great in jobs. Yeah I said it. I don't know how y'all say we multitask and we should earn more than men. Let me explain about females at my workplace. Punch in to work late because they scared to do reverse or parallel parking. So they go park at this lot which was 2km walking distance. All they do is gossip in workplace and ended up taking multiple projects eventough they knew the deadline by end of that evening. Without finishing a single project they will leave the premises at sharp 5pm and I swear I never seen any women in my workplace do OT. Whereas every men literally do OT everyday. That's why our income differ than yours. Yeah we men took one project at a time but the thing is we always finish by end of the day. And OT is for those unfinished projects that started by your sisters. Soo cry more. Forgot to mention about makeup breaks. Kneeling down to project leader so that you can climb corporate ladder with no hardwork or whatsoever.
@mamajedi745 I'm afraid this is just tip of the iceberg. I can literally can go more and more. But it will just potray me as a misogynist. Stop calling yourself hardworker when you don't put in any single effort.
My wife thought she wanted to be a boss babe and make 6 figures on her own. After Covid she was laid off and was home with the kids while I was away in the military. She realized she loved being a stay at home mom and still is to this day! With her staying home and supporting the house I am able to go out and earn that 6 figure income for us. She regularly thanks me for our life and it makes me love her even more every time
@@TheNinjapancake14you make money when you’re deployed, dum-dum. There is a tree out there right now, working hard at producing the same Oxygen you just wasted trying to imply she was doing something nasty while he was deployed. You should go apologize to that tree.
I was not implying that at all!! A lot of parents cannot afford to take a break from work so I was wondering if there was any other flow of income or if they saved enough money.
Oh you mean women want to actually be feminine now and stop striving to be men? What a novel concept! Reject modernity, embrace tradition. 💗 I’m a small scale homesteader/gardener, wifey and SAHM, I homeschool my daughter, and after over a decade in the medical and financial fields, I have never been more fulfilled, what society thinks be damned. I live in the country, I grow huge amounts of organic food and flowers, I make my own bread and butter and homemade meals, I wear flowy skirts and dresses every day, I’m incredibly healthy/work out consistently, I sleep well at night and am overall very relaxed and happy with my life. Try it! 💗🌸💗
And is it just possible that this change has come about all of a sudden due to them now being required to register for the draft? I honestly think that that has a big part in this change of attitude among some women
That sounds very relaxing. I can think a few stay at home moms who would hate your life, and you would hate theirs (living in the suburbs, hates dresses, doesn’t go to the gym but rolls in the dirt with her kids). The beautiful part is that we have options to do so or not! ❤️
@@AlfredeBlome-df3sgwho cares what caused it? Women are life givers, they shouldn't be drafted. If it's going back to traditional, what does it matter what causes it.
That had been my dream since I was a little girl! It's almost frustrating that I felt alone these almost 30 years old, and NOW everyone is realizing it/it's spreading lol
@@AlfredeBlome-df3sg Women aren't required to register for a draft (currently), nor is there any current draft for men *or* women. I'm not really sure where people are hearing this, but one google search tells you it's fake 😅
This was a great video! Thank you. I clapped at the end as you said you plan to let your self evolve as life moves in. I never planned to be a SAHM. Now I’m a 31 year old mom of five girls, and I already feel like I have this heavy burden of balancing between the messages of “you can literally pursue/become who ever you feel called to be” and traditional values that hold a healthy society together. How do you raise “true” feminist who are proud who they are as women in this crazy world.
It's not about feminism. Life means BOTH masculine and feminine working TOGETHER -and not just being a trophy luxury wife to some rich man or working your ass of in a company or with a spouse, but in REALLY CLOSE COMMUNITIES TOGETHER. Some people on this earth still get this is the way of actually LIVING and not just working for your own/your family. But Western individualistic culture kills attempts at real back to human roots life.
I literally used to get BULLIED for having a soft girl aesthetic by all of my old friends and now they're all posting online about how much they love this trend bffr
It's scary how the internet perceptions of things can mold ppl's opinions. I've seen colleagues who hated goth culture get goth because of how many people liked wednesday. And now I'm seeing my friend (who also made fun of me for the same reason as yours) post millions of videos of the soft girly and coquette trend, claiming she always loved it. I guess the core of things is that people do what is trending, not what they want. Eventually they can hope to something they enjoy be apreciated by people, otherwise they are most likely to remain still (like the false girlbosses)
I wish I had one ounce of Brett's grip on reality when I was 22. I am now almost 40 and let a life of true fulfillment pass me by all for the sake of a career. I am so glad this next generation is learning from our mistakes. Girl Power and Girl Bossing was a joke.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Easier said than done. And society did (listen to Michael Knowles' show today. He basically covers this). Could I have? Possibly but I highly doubt I would have the same success and career. I chose what I chose and now I live with that decision. The point is, Brett is mature beyond her years and I am so hopeful for this new generation.
40 is not to old to make a serious life change. All you got to do is want it. If you want it badly enough you will find a way to make it happy. Its always easy to say no or impossible. The challenge is to say yes I make it possible
@luvmy61 That's true too, you still could have been successful. At my workplace the director (female)is married and has 3 kids. Another Co-ordinator married late , had her first child at 40, then 2 more, all healthy children. All the women I know work and most are working moms. You still have some time left. Good luck.
So happy to be a “soft girl” 🥰 Ny dad raised his girls to be, and I married a man who takes care of me and treats me like a princess and I treat him like a king. Sahm of 4 kiddos. I love cleaning and decorating my cozy home, exercising, eating healthy and tapping into my femininity! ❤
I’ve been a “trad wife” since I met my man and got married. We got pregnant right off and I quit my job because I was so sick during the pregnancy. We’re blessed to be able to thrive on one income, which has enabled us to birth & adopt 4 kiddos in 4 years, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. I often view motherhood as my “career” and my children as “promotions”: greater blessing and greater responsibility. Motherhood and wifehood isn’t the same hard as a man’s career, but it’s its own journey and one we’re designed for biologically, hormonally and psychologically as women.
I quit working in 2012 to be SAHM and wife. It's the most underrated life choice. My husband didn't ask me to do it or expect it. I wanted to do it and still to this day I struggle with guilt bc of society pressure. Even tho we're very financially comfortable, some ppl think both husband & wife should work to death. Nope. I like taking care of our home & he enjoys not having to split chores while i b**ch about how he did it.
Guess I've always been in my "soft girl era." This is comical to me, because I was raised to support the man who decides to bring you into their life. I feel so blessed to be a stay at home mom, making all my daughters clothes, and learning to do the most with the least
I don’t like this mentality because it devalues the women. Women and men should be equal. Idk why it’s constantly either elevating men or women. The way you said that, sounds like women should feel lucky” but not the man. We should value each other. Wtf lol
I was a stay at home mom, we struggled financially always, but we knew it was best for our family. I had "career women" friends who seemed to resent/envy me, wondering what I did all day.....while they whined about being exhausted, angry, and constantly at odds with husbands. Who was expected to pick up the slack once everyone got home? My choice to be a Traditional house wife contributed greatly to a stable home life for the whole family. No regrets. My kids and husband always knew where to find me and what to expect from me. No, my day was not yoga and books and facials, I worked hard at home.
The jokes on these girls. They spent years telling me that we are worthless and they don't need us. Good luck finding us again because we did what you wanted and left
My wife of 44 years was a stay-at-home wife and mother for 38 of those years. We never regretted it. It wasn't a luxury. I was a career soldier for 26+ years. One of our tougher memories was the day she had to come home from the grocery store without ketchup because the money budgeted for food was gone and ketchup was a luxury. She only worked for 6 years while our kids were in middle school and high school. Besides a clean home, health home-cooked meals, and a garden, she also ensured our children were actively being educated so as to prepare them for college. Because of academic scholarships, one received her undergrad for no cost, the other ended up with $2500 in student debt which she paid off herself in 14 months. Both daughters became stay-at-home moms when they started their own families. The TWO genders have roles for a reason. When a person decides to break a "mold", he/she needs to be prepared for what spills out.
Glad they didn't go deep into debt. Did you encourage them to be stay at home moms, and so they were conditioned with you "pressuring them," or did they just not enjoy utilizing their brains within the workforce? You mentioned how breaking the traditional "mold" spills trouble, and so it sounds like you weren't actually supporting them to *use* their education and to pursue interesting careers.
Well bless your heart. One of the many great things about our Country is our 1A rights. My our God bless you greatly in your quest for a peace which passes all understanding.@@nicciekawego69
Well, I can see where one might think that. One of the many challenges of being a career soldier is the likelihood of being away a great deal. Though my wife has many of the same ideals as I, we tried to encourage our girls to make informed decisions. They share 14 first cousins. None of their female cousins are stay-at-home mothers. Both of my girls worked in their chosen jobs until they started their families. The oldest was a financial advisor, the other worked in Healthcare management. To each her own...@@HannahLevin-yx4gm
@@Alix-yu8rqyeah up vote your own comment... That's not cringe at all. And your example counts for like 2% of the population if that... A majority of the time it's women abusing men.
I have done both. Stayed home and girl boss. Ups and downs to both. People need to do what is best for them at the time without judgement. We all are just trying to do what is best for ourselves and our family
theres a reason why companies dont want you to have two jobs esp in management ect. because you cant fully dedicate yourself to their one job if you have to do another. same with raising kids. youre either all in or you let strangers raise your kids (daycare etc). thinking you can be excellent in both is a lie- either your job suffers or your kids do.
My mom pushed hard for me to grow up and run my own business, not rely on a man and overall be independent. Since I started dating my bf 2 years ago, I realized she was pushing that on me because she hasn't been with a man that could really take care of her so she didn't want me to fall into that trap. Now that I am in a relationship with a man who also has traditional values my dreams of becoming a SAHM will come true when the time comes. Until then we are both working hard to give eachother the life we both want.
Being a stay at home mum is a grind all on it's own. From sun up to sun down, you are constantly cleaning up after your kids, cooking meals for them, meal prepping, tidying and cleaning the home, keeping on top of laundry, making sure to have frequent days out with kids to keep them happy and stimulated, taking care of the garden, growing food in the green house, taking care of the pets, walking the dog, making time for friends and family, doing all the food shopping, bla bla bla. I very seldom have a moment to even sit down during the day without having something to tend to. Once the kids are in bed, dishes are washed, kitchen is tidy and toys put away, only then can I say the day is over. I still would choose this life over the 'girl boss' life. I love my home, my family, my pets, my garden all too much.
@@CampTunes being a stay at home mom, is incredibly productive. they literally prepare the future generations, maybe your mom should’ve stayed home with you, you’d realize how hard yet rewarding it is
I don't have a problem with this. Here is reality....my wife has always wanted to be a stay at home mom and housewife. I have zero issues with that. However, reality sets in when she wanted a house, and other main staples to be fully provided for. Unfortunately, my salary does not cover all of those. Therefore, she came to the realization that to have those things, she had to work. Not my fault seeing that I work full time (and sometimes two jobs) but it is reality sinking in. If you want to live that lifestyle, then that's fine but the household income has to be well over $100k per year (in this current economy). It is reality.
As a Gen X female whose been in masculine energy mode most of her life I can officially say I'm tired of working 50-60 hours per week with no free time to do the things I crave such as spending time with my family, taking care of my home and just being able to submit to a good man who at the end of the day helps out and takes care of me. Long story short I'm tired of the boss babe lifestyle that's been forced upon me and formally reject it! Glad to see that the tide is starting to turn!
Gen x here and I think the bill we were sold was bs, that we had to do it all. At least newer generations are realizing it doesn’t work, unless both partners are all in, if you try to career and family multitask.
@@DD21934basically. Masculinity is how women live now vs how they used to live. Don’t quote me it’s a super vague description cause I can’t even explain it myself. I think maybe look up a video that could help clarify more
@@DD21934if I had to try to explain, masculinity is more so being independent, sucking up feelings, working harder, and things like being a party girl. While femininity is more like a traditional girl who has goals, supportive, and less like a leech who wants to be the boss of everything. Still super vague and potentially completely wrong but if anyone knows help explain please!
I used to try to embrace a fake sense of masculinity in myself until I looked in the mirror one day and realized how unhappy I was. I felt useless in a world that had told me my worth was based in BEING masculine. I’m so happy to be feminine and cute and full of womanhood and to be excited about a future career at the same time
@@Alix-yu8rq It does look different for everyone! :) Women different to me are not “wrong,” but what was wrong was traits being forced upon me (like the “girlboss” mindset) that were unhealthy for my mind. I also love to stand up for myself, be confident in myself, have my own money, and be educated! It is not that these traits are bad for any other woman to have, it’s that they were bad for me and it’s sad to see a lot of other women in the same position I was in: confused, lonely, and wanting change but not knowing how to do so. I hope this response allowed you to see more into my own mindset, and that you realize I was not making an attack on other women for their differences. Have a great day
About 4 months ago several 'men's blogs warned about this "soft girl" trend...previous femin*st women who knew 'hard times' were coming and chose to go 'soft girl'.. It's hilarious to watch it come true. "Don't want to be a boss babe anymore...want to settle down and be a traditional girl". What happens when the 'hard times' are over? There's over half a century of this 'boss babe...don't need a man' mantra. Too many men slammed in divorce, false accusations, bias and woke media. Many men have simply said, "To hell with it" and walked away. The trust is gone.
Pandemic shattered their illusion and now theyre seeing their status was all a lie: they arent princesses and they need men more than the reverse. This is the perfect "era" to scoop up young women who havent been tainted by girlboss culture and see the misery of their elders. Never forget how women your age treated you pre covid.
The real girl boss is a dedicated, loving wife and mother. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. The best men lead their families with love. Marriage is for life, not for a season.
Nah for me it's the opposite. Excessive makeup, cuteness, acting helpless is such a massive turnoff. Being confident and self-assured is great (but not arrogant obvs). Also short hair > long hair. Any day.
@@adamcaldwell5646 People really do not know what femininity is. I'm religious, I can tell you that femininity is pretty much in the minority (non-existent) in western society.
In my opinion it’s all about balance. Yes you want to be at home and take care of yourself and your family but also sometimes it’s nice to take back some control over your life and have a job. I think it’s kinda stupid we’ve decided that you should just be one or the other.
Things like being present in the community, volunteering, etc are also legitimate ways of "taking back control" while still being family-focused. It doesn't always necessarily have to be about money. Just doing something because you want to do it, want to help others/feel productive. That's the main thing that drives me crazy when I don't have a job, I want to feel like I'm contributing something to society. Not quite related, but I also believe there's a reason women are generally more drawn to the arts, and there are ways to monetize that if you so choose. I'm not disagreeing, I'm just saying there are other things you can do that don't involve making the commitment to a job.
Truth is that not every woman is built to be a stay at home and not every man is built to be the bread winner. What is important, in every couple, regardless of sexuality, is that both are on the same page and I can’t think of anyone who would sign up to be the money donor for a “life of leisure”.
This is great for the women who find dependable partners but for those of us that come from broken families and dysfunctional parents it can be frightening to think of depending on someone else to provide for us. It can be our deepest desire but our worst fear at the same time…
I absolutely understand you. Ask God to lead you to the right man(if you don't have one already) that'd be like a father to you-a Husband(from husbandry), a nurturer, one that amplifies the gifts and testimonies embedded in you. I pray God takes away your fears, grants you reassuring peace and perfect tranquillity regardless life's endless cycles. God bless you.
If you are traumatized and had bad role models then you are an easy prey for abusive, manipulative people and unfortunately they sense that. I would not recommend getting into situation where you have to depend on somebody because you might not be a good judge of character or you might simply fall for familiarity and repeat the cycle. Work on yourself first, go to therapy, if you can and need to. You might meet a good man, but you have to feel safe first and you have to be in a good mental state.
That’s why therapy is there for those who need it. And if it is unaffordable, there’s lots of self help books out there to give you a starting base. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson is a book my therapist recommends. If you want this lifestyle fear can’t hold you back. Work on yourself for you, your future partner and your future children.
I dated a career driven woman, and I’ve dated a soft woman, I never required or requested a woman to work if we’re in a relationship, I give my girlfriend an allowance, she leans and trusts me and we are committed. It feels great to work and feel like a man and providing. I work so much. I want her there when I need her for mental health, she drives me to work harder. I want her to have a happy healthy life. My promise to her is make her life as easy and happy as possible. She makes me feel loved and appreciated, I do the same
That is very kind of you. I dated a couple of guys that kept pressuring me to have a career, and it was very stressful. And this is coming from a girl who went to college and has a degree. My ultimate dream was always to be happily married. I think that's what every woman wants. :) Of course we will have other goals in life, too, but pursuing a career isn't going to be top priority for most women.
It's rough when we live in a world where we judge anyone who makes different choices than what we do, and we yell at them telling them what they should want. If a girl wants to be a boss babe, sure. If a girl wants to be a mother, great. Each of those choices comes with different outcomes. Like Brett said in the egg video, you can't necessarily have it all. You need to be introspective enough to determine what it is that you want out of your life, and not just be impressed by every tiktok that comes across your feed.
I was unfriended by someone 30 years ago when she decided that she really just wanted to be a housewife, and that I would not have supported her in that. Truth was that I supported her in any way she wanted to go in her life, and up to that point had been graduate study in archeology. I decided that I, still recovering from a particularly bad breakup with someone else, couldn't offer her that alternative. Today, she seems to still be living that good life, though with her kids now grown, and is dabbling in resuming that previous life. Good on her!
Being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Way harder than any job or schooling. We don’t get to “focus on ourselves”. I think all these girls idealizing it may have the wrong idea. Nothing about it feels “soft” to me. I don’t have time for any “self care” or just enjoyable activities. It’s definitely way better than “working” though
Sounds like a woman whose job was pushing papers or taking phone calls. Lol. Logging, doing concrete, carpentry, being a doctor, this is all way more difficult than being a parent.
Yea im a single mom of three boys. Im able to stay home because of maintenance paid to me and my babies dad asked if id stay home to take of the kids so he gives me a little extra. Its very tight tho and ive had to lessen my lifestyle but its worth it to stay home with the kids, however.... there is nothing soft about this life lmao.
What do you think stay at home moms do exactly? Mop floors, wipe poop multiple times a day, haul laundry to the basement to wash, vacuum floors, drive everywhere, walk for hours to buy groceries and then haul the groceries in, take out trash, scrub the toilets and tubs and mirrors and sinks, make beds, hang up laundry to fry, brush hair, pack lunches, fold clothing, wipe counters and tables from food and slave over a hot stove three times a day every day and then scrub pots and pans after each and every meal. As well as clear tables and any messes the kids make. You think that’s not manual labor? LOL. In fact the only one doing carpentry at my house is ME 😂 not to mention keeping appointments and taking care of everyone while sick. Oh and actually entertaining and teaching and disciplining the kids so that they grow up to be well rounded adults. I could keep listing tasks but it’s actually a ton of physical hard work that takes a toll on the body.
This is encouraging! I am recently married and my now wife was making us both miserable because she was trying to do all the working all while thinking about kids and still wanting to do those “more feminine tasks” after the break of our honeymoon she finally realized how much worse she was making life for both of us. She is looking for a part time job now and actually now feels like she will have the time to want to do all these other things she actually likes! If you want to go be a girl boss go for it but don’t force it because some sad group of women tell you to
Based on the description of what these Gen Z women want in their life this isn't new, it's not Soft Girl it's Trophy wife life. This is not a new concept and let's be honest the majority of these women are so far from Trophy wife status it isn't going to happen.
I’m here for soft girl era! Currently living it! I stayed at home with my child 5 years ago and it helped shape my child into such an amazing human. I recently quit my job again to be a SAHM. My husband and child love it! My family gets home cooked meals weekly, I love organizing & cleaning. I get to workout and do all the things I love while still being a wife & mother. We are truly blessed. I never felt the urge to be a “boss babe”. I always thought that term was silly. I love being a woman in a healthy loving relationship. My husband adores me & my child gets to be with me after school, eat good, help with homework, drive to sports, etc. I love this life!
I’m a college educated stay at home mom, who takes care of the majority of household duties, who homeschools my kid, and makes lunch and dinner for my family every night. I’ve also been in the workforce from my teens to my late thirties so I’ve done both. And let me tell you being a stay at home mom and raising kids and keeping a house is WAY MORE DIFFICULT, mentally and physically taxing because at a job you have a set amount of things you do for a set hours but SHM is a job that starts when you wake up from when you go to bed. I wouldn’t trade it for working because I feel way more rewarded being a SHM mom, but don’t get the impression you’ll be sitting on your butt all day drinking smoothies.
I think you can be a traditional wife without being a "tRaD wIFe"😮 Just because this generation is obsessed with labeling every single natural human impulse doesn't mean we have to live by those labels. I have an advanced degree (in a subject nowhere near where I started in college) and worked and now I stay home and take care of my family, cook, clean, paint, craft, make home repairs and if I could I'd have farm animals. I'm also available to my family and community without having to ask anyone for time off. It's OK to want more than one thing and it's OK to change. I wish someone had told me that when I was entering the world as a young adult. So, if you're a young person who feels like they have to have it all figured out and all your plans must be huge and impressive, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. Most of all, don't fight your nature. Find a way to live that enhances your nature and you will be happy. TLDR: This introvert was never going to be a girl boss and thank God for that. I'm me and I'm happy, no label needed.
So, you racked up a bunch of student debt for a degree you don't use, just for your working husband to pay for. That's great. You were part of the problem
My wife stays at home, manages our home and schools our kids. There is nothing "soft" about her, except the lovely feminine form she's graced with and her compassionate heart. She has endured and powered through much. I respect and love her now more than ever. I don't understand why feminists can't grasp this.
Brett is so incredible with her transitions to ads and I have been trying so hard to anticipate when one is coming based on what she's saying/how she's talking and I FINALLY predicted one 😅
As a full time stay at home mom, I am against feminism. I also think this "soft girl" trend can be inspiring in SOME ways, but in my opinion is promoting lazy luxury. I can honestly say I work harder as a stay at home mom than I did outside the home. Now it's MORE ENJOYABLE. It's MORE FULFILLING. It's MORE MEANINGFUL. And I love it! But it is a lot of hard work too. Lol. Making smoothies, doing yoga, and painting landscapes while sipping wine is NOT the life of a typical stay at home mom. I'm not against those things in theory as a moment of personal development, active rest, etc. but I am not about preaching laziness. The pendulum always swings so far in every direction -signed, a non-asthetic traditional wife, stay at home mom, and homemaker who works hard :)
As a SAH for the last 20 years to 5 children I homeschooled and a constantly deploying husband... people make more work than they need to. Life can be whatever pace YOU set it at. Life can be what YOU make it to be. Americans always add way to much to their plates. Because they are told its how things must be done.
I'm a work from home mom and I agree... why is it it that so much of these trad type trends are more about women indulging in luxury and aesthetic style than it is about the actual development of domestic skills, thrift, talent, etc? I'd be totally down for that, as one who is struggling in that area lol.
The sad thing is that girls were always strong to begin with. True strength comes from within. What started as giving women a choice to go to work has now become the rule. Now none of us have a choice. We all played ourselves 😂
@emmanueleka6836 Women DO have a choice though...stay at home wives/moms are still a thing...back then women REALLY didn't have a choice since many women couldn't even get their own bank account until the 70s.
I was raised in a very traditional Samoan family, my dad works while my mom takes care of me and my siblings (5 of us). I knew since I was 12 that all I wanted to be was a mom, the way my mom talked about me and my siblings sparked something in me and filled me with warmth, the way she risked her life for all of us when the doctor said she wasn’t able to have another baby after my older brother just shows how much she has sacrificed for us. During my school days we had career day and we had to do a power point on a career we want to work towards and I had none cause careers just didn’t catch my attention like motherhood did, I am 20 now and I still feel the same way!
I’m curious, do you have a family now? If not, how are you putting yourself in positions to meet a potential partner? Do you live at home still? Do you have hobbies that require money? I have a friend who has the same desire as you, but is not having any luck. A lot of people meet their spouse at work or school, and I can’t think of any places or activities to mingle with people for free, unless if you live in a big city.
Feminism isnt all women having to be "girl bosses" and be an independent leader without kids or a man. Feminism is women having to option to do what they want. A woman who just wants be a stay at home mom and have a family and kids can still be a feminist.
Not true. Feminism is giving the opportunity for either man or woman to make a choice whether they want to work or stay at home. Times are changing & every family is different. It's all about equality.
There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants an education or to work. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to take care of herself and be in shape. I prefer all these things. But I also want a woman who wants to be a wife and mother, not someone who’s just looking for a sugar daddy while they sleep in all day
i agree
Totally agree
This is gonna be the next step in the delusion...my wife works I bring most of income but she has respect towards me to contribute to the relationship...I don't ask her....she has respect for herself as a woman to put forth in our lifestyle to live comfortably happy and in love
Yup. I’m a stay at home mom. I cook three solid meals for my family every day. I do the laundry, the shopping, the cleaning and I homeschool our son. I am up at 4:30 a.m. with my husband. I clean and maintain our church building for a few hundred bucks a month. That money funds homeschool curriculum and our vacations. We rent DVDs from the library instead of having a ton of subscriptions to occupy our child when he wants a movie to watch. I have started going to the gym three times a week to help my momma self feel like my pre-momma self because pregnancy and childbirth took a big toll on my joints and overall health.
These “I just want to make art and enjoy nature” girls aren’t living in reality. Yes I knit and sketch and take my son on hikes…but all the other domestic work must happen to justify me not bringing in 50k a year.
Exactly.
There is a BIG difference between:
I want to be a wife and mother who raises my children while my husband supports us, and
I want to lie around leisurely and love myself.
These women are not asking to go back like it used to be. They are asking to do NOTHING while society supports them.
I can't be the only one who recognizes this!
Yep people are praising them for being lazy and greedy
agreed, they want to sponge off someone else, not return to what it was, blaming others for their own choices to boot
I also picked up on that, but I'm hoping with a lot of things that it's just the vocal minority. I hope I'm right.
Yeah, I don't understand why these people think they should have someone paying for their lifestyle while they do nothing. Either get a good job and date/marry for love and not financial reasons, or marry for both and be willing to play a traditional role and contribute equally to the household. These girls want their cake and they want to eat it too. And the worst part is, guys will actually do that for them because they're pretty 🤦♀🤦♀
That's what I was thinking. They were talking about just wanting to do 'self care' and have a man take care of them and not once did I see a mention of doing anything in return for that.
I'm a millennial working woman who is not a "girl boss." Simply a woman who is working out of necessity.
"Slay, queen! You are a total girl boss!" -a single, unhappy feminist, probably.
@@crunchyman5330also Brett right??
@@DD21934and ben's wife, an accomplished doctor 😂
Same here girl 😵💫
Oh, an adult?
Here’s the thing, there is a line between being lazy and being feminine. You don’t have to sit around at home all day to be feminine. And you don’t have to be super ambitious either. Just make sure your living your life to the fullest and not scrolling through UA-cam shorts or tik toc all day.
There's no line except mind your own damn business.
@@huitrecouture Well then don't post your business online
@@huitrecouture that got to you huh 😂
Here’s the thing you forgot: It's very hard to tell just from a glance if someone is just being lazy or being exhausted/burn out from a hustle culture career thatś designed for male biology to withstand- NOT for female biology to work. Sitting around at home all day several days a month is natural if/when youŕe having severe cramps and getting really tired from all the pain killers you have to take to make your body work. Itś also a natural biological reaction for all who are burnt out, regardless of their sex. You don’t have to be lazily assuming that everyone who isen't "living their life to the fullest and not scrolling through UA-cam shorts or tik toc all day" are just "lazy". Also, everything on social media is generally make to LOOK and SOUND like itś so PERFECT, so NO WONDER if the soft-girl image come off as just lazy/luxury-wife/Hollywood wife or whatever. But there SURE IS a much darker background for this "new" (old) phenomena. Behind the happy image, I mean. Just like with any kind of image thatś sold in this world.
Feminine = a free slave working on the order of a man
I’m a 31-year-old mom of two. There is nothing “leisurely” about my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the most intense girl-bossing lifestyle ever.
You only have two kids what's so hard about it?
@@pyramidion5911She didn't say how old her kids are... They could be twins, Irish twins, toddlers, etc
@@pyramidion5911let me guess, you are a man or a woman with no kids? Or you are the most annoying type of pick me
Being a mom and stay at home wife IS DIFFICULT. as a dad husband and lover
@@pyramidion5911do you have kids? Do you know how hard it is ? I’m not no mother or a father but I have 3 year old brother and even tho I’m 15/teenager it is still hard for me EVEN THO IM NOT A MOTHER OR FATHER. The hardest timing is when the baby is still 0 year olds. The baby cries each 1 hour so basically you cannot sleep the whole time, that’s why my mother have to feed and make him tired to sleep while in the MIDNIGHT, that’s why she cannot even sleep in the night, that’s why she becomes moody in the morning and the dad is at work I’m at school so yeah she has to see him the whole day until she sends him to day care and all and come pick him up make dinner and stuff like that
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a career. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a full-time homebody. There IS something wrong with demeaning others who make their choice
Yea it’s like the two extremes on each side are the only options.
no they don't@IWillySaySomething
@IWillySaySomething exactly, but if we say anything about our lived experiences, we are gaslit and told "nobody demeans homemakers/feminine women" seems like it's all about believing other women's lived experiences (even if you haven't experienced it yourself), unless a traditional woman speaks about her experience.
I really think it is more about women's hypergamy going unchecked. Women are shrinking their dating pool as they move up their careers. Thus, they end up considering only men with the most options. Social media also gives these more desirable men more access to women. They will give attention to, hook up, or situationship with women until they find what they want. The women they play games with then believe they deserve that caliber of men.
And that's where I stand also. People can live how they want. And that's ok.
Who ARE these crazy women who think that if you're a stay-at-home mom that means you get to focus on self-care and "try less"? I was a stay-at-home mom of 4, who homeschooled them all the way through high school. I did NOT have a soft, cushy life full of facials and Pilates! I had a very full life of caring for my family, but it was rare that anything was really about just me. I'm very glad that's the life I chose, but there was nothing easy about it. I don't know where women are getting this idea that women who actually take care of their homes and families themselves have it easy and get to be pampered all the time.
Mom of 4 and home schooler Massive respect to you and i bet your kids grew up to be amazing adults
@tamlawrie4425 Thanks! They are pretty great! One went to college, and graduated with a 4.0 for both her bachelor's and master's degrees, with zero debt. The others chose other paths and are successful in their areas. They all live nearby, so we get to enjoy all our grandkids frequently. We're very blessed. 😊
Right, they make it seem like we just get to do nothing or just care about ourselves 24/7. That's so far from the truth. I'm also a homeschooling stay at home mom. I'm currently pregnant with my third child. I love that I get to be home with my girls everyday experiencing life and taking care of our home and building with my family. I wouldn't want anything else, but at the same time, it is work. I work everyday, all day. Yes I get a break daily during quiet time, but that's only an hour a day. It's not just sitting on the couch all day doing nothing or being in nature all the time.
@@mamaofthree8585 Definitely not! It's certainly fulfilling, but FAR from easy! 😂
Also, stay-at-home mom/wife is not an old thing. In the past only those nobles who were rich were at home, the average woman from a lower class worked.
I think it's really important for young women to realize that self-discipline is a huge part of being a stay at home wife/mother. I'm 32 and a mother of 6. I stay home and homeschool our children and my husband works full time. It has been this way most of our marriage but it has taken me awhile to realize how much work goes into being a loving mother/wife. You enforce the structure of your home and are mostly responsible for instilling good daily habits in your children as they will naturally imitate the way you carry yourself on a daily basis. It is truly such a joy but very hard work if you desire to instruct and encourage your children in the way they should go. The Lord gives wisdom to those who ask and the one who seeks him diligently will find encouragement to be steadfast. As a young woman it is easy to be discouraged and lose sight of the purpose of it all, there isn't always an immediate reward for the seemingly mundane tasks of daily life, but God sees all that we do and will reward us richly if we continue to strive for the eternal crown and encourage that others do the same.
You mean they can't go to the club to twerk on the weekends?
She is SO obviously/blatantly religious and modest in all she writes, so it would probably NOT be her preference, LOL. But if humans live more back to their root cultures and create supportive communities, child-care for the weekends would NOT be a problem for stay-at-home mums. They could easily go out partying or doing whatever they feel like on some time off from the job of raising children and other unpaid jobs they do every day at home.@@axs-xq7cq
As a 17 year old girl who would love to be a wife and mother, possibly in missions with my future husband- I love this. Thank you for sharing your story.🫶
There is a big difference between thinking you can be feminine and live a life of leisure and being a feminine traditional wife who contributes to a relationship.
😂😂 well we both end up miserable…. A traditional wife tired of fukn her man or career women tired of fukn many men 😂
I think these women want even less responsibilities without the work, as usual. Again, this will backfire on women...again because they literally don't even know how to be women anymore.
I was about to comment until I read your post. This “soft living” is still not based in reality. Our consumerism is also a problem. Traditional roles had men working and providing while the women took care of the homestead. Examples… food prep, clothing maintenance, managing children, educating children, etc.
Soft girls mean entitled rich girls. Still 1% of population and not reality for most. Life means work…
Yup, Im not buying it either. These women's past already ruined their soft girl image
@@Ddickey85The "soft girl" era is a bunch of women now saying "I'll take back seat." When they mean "I'll be a backseat driver."
Traditional women did not have chauffeurs for husbands, they worked.
It's sad that male and female roles were reversed in the first place. Finally people are starting to realize the crap world we live in.
They're not reversed. Men can do and be literally anything they want it's just that women currently have the option to be and do something other than "just" a housewife (nothing wrong with that). Doesn't mean they ALL have to. No one is forcing them to, but it's good to have the FREEDOM to choose. Isn't that what America is all about?
@@whocares_beareveryone can be whatever they want. However, men are ridiculed for being masculine, and women are ridiculed for being feminine. How is that not role reversal?
@@beans4853 Exactly my point thank you.
@@beans4853 It's mostly on the internet or at least it stems from there. Also social pressure is real, but it's still your choice whether as a women you embody your feminine energy and same for men when it comes to their masculine energy.
Everyone needs to grow a backbone! Live your life and respect others lifestyle choices.
@@whocares_bear Not when we are indoctrinating our kids to think a certain way, when we're indoctrinating people are we really giving them a choice?
As a stay at home mom of two, a toddler and a baby, I have to say that this sounds very much like what people "think" motherhood is like. Most people think staying at home with the kids is very leisurely and full of self care. In actuality, this is the hardest thing I have ever done but also the most fulfilling. I wouldn't change my life for anything, in fact I even want more kids. After giving birth to my second child, my husband had a few weeks of paternity leave and by the end of it he readily admitted that I have the harder job and he is very happy to be the one making the money.
So funny because after a week into his paternity leave, my husband said he preferred to work because it was easier😂 I think it’s so good for dads to take their paternity time so they can get a better understanding of how hard managing a home with kids is.
@@Lmr2021 I did and found that I'd love nothing more than to stay with my little champ and spend more time with him. Maybe it gets tedious after a while and can be a bit exhausting...... but hard? No way. I got used to screaming and crying right away. That's how babies communicate - so "dealing with it" was the only rational approach. We don't live in medieval times - washing clothes takes almost no effort whatsoever, cleaning - same, cooking- same. Plus cooking is exceptionally rewarding because, flash news, you yourself also .. eat. Then he grew up a bit and we started going to a playground.... damn, it was amazing.
Guess there are different dads/men.
My husband was jobless for 3 weeks and so he got to stay home with me and our 2 year old. By the time he found another job he admitted he loves us but he really just wants to go back to work because he could not handle staying home all of the time. He's not sure how I do it. Lol I think it gave him a new perspective because he hasn't bothered me anymore if I don't get something done that day.
yeaaa. SAHM aint as hard as actually work...but let your book clubs keep feedin ya that bulllllshit
@@mikewall8798ummmm haha are you a stay at home mom?…if you let your iPad parent your kids and feed them fruit snacks for lunch on the daily then maybe it’s easier. But if you actually want to train your kids to be good, contributing members to society, and put effort into keeping up with housework and nourishing meals, you don’t even have time for book clubs 😂
My mother and MIL HATE the fact that I'm a SAHM. They are Silent Gen. My MIL can't stand that I don't go to work, come home, take care of the house, three kids, and husband because that's what she did. Now I do ALOT. Housework, repairs, appointments, yardwork, sports, make sure the money goes where it's supposed to, and much more. My husband only really needs to focus on his job. They genuinely think that I'm lazy because I have zero desire to have a career. I love taking care of my boys, husband, and home. I have a side hustle so that I have my own spending money. They're so bitter and it really hurts. When my boys no longer need me (one isn't in school yet) at the home I will get a part time job but further than that my priority will be them, the house, and my husband. I can't wait for being a SAHM is no longer looked down at or mocked.
I think a lot of older women slaved at jobs, hated it, and now are jealous of women who make better choices and have less stressful lives. It sounds like you are a hard worker who truly cares about your family - and if you were in a more traditional Eastern country it would be considered honourable. But Western feminist women hate and are jealous of SAHMs. Wish you all the best!
Misery loves company!! And also women secretly hate other women.
You’re only privileged cause your husband makes good money. Good for you but if anything happens to his nice paying job, you’d have to work too.
@@theanonymousasmrchanelguid2620 Thanks for representing the idiocy of your ilk. You know NOTHING about her or her husband. He couldn't get another JOB? They don't have insurance? Did she say she REFUSED to work? YOU'RE JEALOUS because YOUR life is PATHETIC and you caused it yourself.
The Silent Generation is people born 1928 to 1945. That means they both MUST be minimally 79 if not OLDER and the product of the depression. So your story is nonsense doesnt make sense and is completely different from every other person in that generation let alone TWO of them.
Anything that is trend will eventually go away and to be replaced with another one. Women need to stay true to who we are. If you’re naturally a girl boss, be a girl boss. If you’re a soft girl, be one. Be yourself and be natural. Don’t run with the trend because you will end up losing yourself or get tired of being someone that is not truly who you are.
This. Its really annoying seeing the "____girl" trends. Just let women live their life how they want. Women's lifestyles being random trends on the internet is so stupid
thank you
THIS comment! If you want to work, work. If you want to be a SAHH, do it. If you want to be single forever and have no kids or partner, do it. Seriously, women (and men) should just live the life they want and society shouldn't shame anyone for whatever life they lead. ❤
@@melissadavis4981Not shaming is what is making the United States a generate paradise that does not even know what a biological women is.
I find your comment shameful! @@shadowslayer9988
As a 40 week pregnant stay at home mom of a toddler, I can promise you, nothing about this life is “soft” or “leisurely.” It is a grind and you’d better believe I’m “hustling” day in and day out. The only difference between women like me and many women who live the girl boss life is that I do what I do for my husband and daughters, not for a promotion or a raise. My promotion will come years down the road when my daughters make me a grandma, and my pay comes in the form of watching my two year old play with and love on her daddy and feeling my baby move inside my womb. God’s design for a woman falls right in between the “soft girl” and “girl boss” tropes where I lean into my feminine by working hard from sun up to sundown to give a beautiful and meaningful life to my family, and in return I receive the same thing. And it’s 100% worth it ♥️
Couldn’t agree more! ❤
That's exactly the life my wife and have lived in raising our 3 great kids in our 52 year marriage. The later life benefits will be rich and beautiful for you, milady. Guaranteed! All the respect in the world to you!
That's literally my dream!
@@Tom-ut6ky so much respect to you!! I can’t wait to look back on 50+ years of marriage to my husband and thank God for the blessings He gave us through our kids and marriage! It’s so worth any sacrifice!
Thank you! You helped explain this so well!! I completely agree with everything you said. It does pay off! I'm beginning to reap my benefits ❤
My oldest son is now a MPAC, PA-C Hospitalist. My youngest son is excelling in college. They have a firm grasp in reality. They also understand the strength and importance of family and working hard. Just wait until your day comes❤
I've always been a a tomboy and socially awkward, But I wanted to be a stay at home mom. The one thing more frustrating than being single in my thirties is people assuming I'm a feminist and this is what I want. It's not and it never was.
I hope that works out for you. It is a blessing to be a SAHM.
Raise them kids!! Proud of you! I'm so proud to hear that. I am a man.
you clearly dont know what a tomboy means. And it has nothing to do with having a job. Lmao.
I want to be a stay at home mom one day, but I feel like I have no choice because I have student loans to pay and so I have to work, I don’t feel I can ever just not work. I know some people will say you can do it both but do they not realize that somethings gotta give? You’ll make a sacrifice either with kids or your career, and I don’t care about climbing a corporate ladder, I want fulfillment… but what do I do when I have bills and loans to pay back?
@@Alisson_Chains that's tough... If you're looking for advice, I'd say be very intentional moving forward. Get involved in activities that will bring about relationships that are built on mutual respect and admiration. Work on your debt, and make sacrifices now so it doesn't bog down the choices you want to make in your marriage and with your kids.
I actually pulled out of the dating scene because I was struggling financially and I could feel that I was starting to see marriage as an out which wouldn't be fair to my future husband. I also started to compromise on the type of man I sought after, so I pulled back for some clarity. While I think it was the right thing to do, I made the mistake of not returning. It's been over 7 years since I've even tried and that's on me.
Wish you the best. I hope you find what you're looking for... Don't lose hope. Don't compromise on the big things.
its so cirnge because most of our mothers lived an old school life and now everyone finds it ground breaking that just having a family is "actually possible 🤯"
Thanks to the cost of living increasing by so much
not at all my mom went to school and worked. Her mother would always tell her to make an excellent grade so she can be a teacher because at that time being a teacher was one of the only jobs a woman could do her. My grandmom will always tell her to work hard and make money so she doesn't have to depend on her husband like she(my grandmom) did. My mom now a successful woman, making thousands of dollars and being the breadwinner of the family , still performs Motherly duties . My mom was born in 1960 . There;s nothing wrong in wanting to be an independent woman it's how these radical feminist word the whole thing
And you know that is the kind of ideal that makes so many women burn out, because biologically, most women can NOT keep that all up at the pace of this age... Which was kind of the whole point of this video. I guess you missed it. Not all women are able to be a super-woman who can do it all, LOL@@demonexplains1449
And they regret, I have seen what they go through cuz of their femininity
I was a stay at home mom, but I worked hard at it. It was not a soft life, but it was in the home. I was grateful to be able to raise my own children, but it was difficult on our finances. But we did it and we're glad. 5 children and 42 years married.
Congratulations 😊❤
I misread this as 5 years and 42 children later at first
good for you you want a gold star
@@JayLane193do you have mommy issues ?
@@sabrinakelly7408I have mommy issues, can I get a gold star?
A woman who takes care of her family works hard. Raising children is challenging. Let's not think it's about spending our time making ourselves look beautiful and doing coffee with friends.
Right, I laughed so much. I was a SAHM, and it definitely wasn't my time of self-care, lazing around on moss beds and making lovely memories. That happened a lot less than before when I was working. This kind of thinking leads to Dads saying "You have just been home all day" to moms.
@@thirstwithoutborders995Because women are literally doing nothing and being terrible Mothers.
Amen!
It's definitely hard work. Keeping kids engaged, fed, happy all day is exhausting. But some women want a luxury lifestyle where they can get a nanny and a cleaner while they go out for brunch with their friends.
Sadly younger generations don't really grasp that, the "soft girl" types want all the benefits of being a homebody with none of the responsibilities
We made huge sacrifices to allow me to stay home with our kids. It wasn't easy but it was so worth it! ZERO regrets...absolutely ZERO!
exactly! you will never get that time back. you will never regret raising your own children, the bonds you form, how involved you are ♡ well done!
Your husband made much greater sacrifices than you. Don’t make believe with the “we” that the sacrifices were equal.
You must not know what it’s like to have to run a household and raise children 24/7 if you think it’s easy. I’ve had jobs working 70 hours a week and they were a cakewalk compared to being a full time stay at home mother.
@@mrsmartypants_1 Of course an MGTOW had to come and start subtracting value to a woman's effort to go back to Traditionalism
Your doing the most important job in society, lots of gen z where raised at school and by babysitters and we have the worst mental health of all other generations
While I agree with this shift, the soft girl era may have the same core problem as girl boss: selfishness. Life is not about living the perfect life you dream of - we’re created to be builders! And women are wired to enjoy building a home (which is incredibly hard work…ask any awesome homemaker). That doesn’t mean you can’t choose to build something different! But in the end, whatever you choose to build (whether that’s a career or a home), don’t let selfishness be the center. ♥️
This. My wife and I are starting a homestead so she can become a SAHM. She works so damn hard everyday, gonna be even more so once we get the homestead up and running
Life means working TOGETHER -and NOT just working hard individually so that you can get praise for working SO HARD. That is ALSO very selfish/boastful. That being said, being a trophy luxury wife to some rich man to get likes on instagram is offcourse selfish as hell, just as working your ass of in a company or with a spouse to be praised for that lifestyle. But in order NOT to be selfish/self-centered humans need to be in REALLY CLOSE COMMUNITIES TOGETHER. Some people on this earth still get this is the way of actually LIVING and not just working for your own/your own family. But Western individualistic culture kills attempts at real back to human roots life. Be it Hollywood wifes or isolated off-the-grid families.
Thank you for writing that.
It's super nice that after 20 years of being a stay at home mom who homeschools our 5 children, it's starting to be looked at positively.
Us SAHs have had people pushing us into the workforce and putting us down for years.
I still think you are lazy
@@pyramidion5911 As you roll up another blunt to judge strangers from the comfort of your keyboard. The projection is palpable.
@@pyramidion5911 You clearly have never spent time around children, she has FIVE, she couldn't be lazy if she wanted to. Her day is more productive than most, and the fruits of her labor will have a more positive impact on society than if she was a corporate warrior.
@@pyramidion5911are you high on something😂
icon@@Cretaal
Its amazing that we humans have gotten to the point ware just sticking to your nature is "the new thing"
In most animals, like lions, it's the females who go out and hunt the food. The males just fight over who gets to f* them
its pretty sad actually
Yeah everyone acts like it’s some kind of interesting controversy to be connected to our bodies and nature but its literally humanity
Gen Z is lost, they need to drop the social medias and pursue God.
@@chriskirsten8221but happy now
Thank you so much for saying it out loud!! I don’t like the girl boss culture, but I also hate it when women say they just want to stay home, do self care, and relax for life. 😭
Being a stay at home wife and mother is hard work too, and it should be! To do it justice, you need to take care of your husband, children if there are any, the rest of your family, home, and community. Do whatever you can to grow and give back, no matter what you do with your life! 😊
The soft girl life is really achievable by the rich. I think we should all take care of ourselves to avoid burnout, but we should be more realistic about the soft girl trend
We have the internet now. No one should be just staying at home. Find a way to make money instead of watching Dr Phil for the third time today.
That's why I don't want to be a wife... Why I have to take care of men who will cheat on me when I get older or maybe abuse me no 😢
EXACTLY
@@ivy-gp5to why are you deliberately ignoring the fact that women do that too? Get help
As a man, honestly nothing is more attractive to me than the idea of coming home to my wife after work and spending time with her (and hopefully one day the kids) to unwind and just bask in the simple pleasures of home. To be with a woman who just wants to be a woman sounds like heaven-on-earth to me.
If your wife gets off work and spends time with you is she "not being a woman"?
@@mardeeshackI think you missed the point. If a full time working woman is coming home you share equal household responsibilities and both are equally tired.
Thus she can't provide equal care and attention to her spouse and be "as soft"
@@Kirrie_Sushicatbeing soft doesn't make you a woman, or then dylan mulvaney becomes one.
Do you think a women staying at home to take care of everything, the kids and the house, will be oh so rested and ready to be your support system because you're completely deprived of and emotional side when you come home? As in if someone doesn't bring out emotions in you they're just absent? You're dellusional. This is your fantasy of a woman, and it's the reason why traditional relatonships fell apart: the men think their wives are doing nothing all day, and women think about how lucky their husband is to go an interact with people and earn money. They both so seperate from each other's lives they get dellusional and fantasize about what the other's life looks like, neither actually appreciating each other's work and contribution. And before you come and call me a feminist (which I'm not) and insult me, and say that I hate trad roles, I don't. I think each person is free to do whatever they want, but at least if you'll persue a traditional relationship have realistic expectations and fix the things that clearly caused problems and misery in trad marriages in the past. Nothing more dangerous than people forgetting history which everybody seems to be doing lately to counter the "wokeness", without acknowledging their were legitimate flaws in trad marriages.
That's all I've ever wanted and I'm having such a hard time finding a man for it. Always despised feminists for forcing me into this lifestyle I do not want and am obliged to move into. It's just sad and depressing.
I’m happy to be the sole provider, and I’m lucky that I have the ability to do that in this economy. But I want a wife who understands that I can’t do it alone and I need her support. I need love, food, and sex. I need those things not just when she’s in the mood for it, I need them almost ever day. It seems like a lot of women want a husband who will treat them like a daughter: provide everything for them and expect nothing in return. Well it’s nice to be able to provide that to your wife sometimes, but the only way to have the energy and strength to do that every day is to have a second wife that gives you the support you need. Personally I’d prefer to just have one.
The entire reason I pursued nursing was because in my mind it’s easier to be a mom and a nurse than to be a mom and a doctor. Whenever I gave that answer, I was surprised by how many people looked at me funny because “why on earth would you take that into consideration?” and “you can be a doctor and a mom too!”. I know, but no call hours, an incredibly variable schedule, and being able to leave work at work seems a lot easier to me. People get defensive, like I’m attacking them when they discover I prioritize planning for a family in the future, but I have no idea why? What could be more important than my future family? Nothing.
Insecurity. Some people don't have the mental capacity to understand anything beyond there narrow minded view of the world.
There are some specialties in medicine that are more family friendly. If you’re an anesthesiologist, you could do ambulatory surgery and have no nights/call/weekends/holidays and you could probably even find a place to work part time. Most days you’d be out by 3 pm. Rheumatology and dermatology are among the better ones for work/life balance. It’s doable but really you just have to decide if you want want to be a doctor or a nurse and what makes you happy in the long term. Nurses can have to work nights, weekends, holidays, and take call too in some specialties so it really just depends on what you want to do and what makes you happy. I’ve met a lot of nurses that are bitter and burned out too.
fr doctors work 120 hours a week.
Good for you and screw them.
I guess it depends on what nursing field you're in. A lot of people automatically think of nurses like hospital er type with the long hours/ limited days off. Maybe that's why that's their response
I’m 21 and I’ve always found it weird when people put girls down who want to live like this instead of working at some soul destroying corporation.
It's based off misconception that stems from the past. Also femininity in general is seen as weak unfortunately.
@@blueiris1542we can change our perception of that though. Gen z saw the stress of women working and experienced that in our moms. Now women are actually fed up with being told what we want and are exhausted with the grind. We are coming to terms with who we are meant to be biologically
Feminism has brainwashed women into believing that women who want to be a good wife and mother are oppressed. The feminists resort to shaming them into abandoning their desires, convincing them it is wrong.
@@karazech6755 True! I just want women in general to have a choice in their lives and who they want too be. This feminine vs masculine women, girl boss vs sahm battle is annoying and unproductive!
Soul sucking corporations? How about you just be fucking useful. How about you contribute SOMETHING besides dna to the world. It’s not hard.
I am a very masculine woman (an engineer), and even I wish I could have been a STAHM, surrounded by babies and tending to my husband.
I was disappointed hearing women talk about wanting to quit work to go be lazy and pampered. The traditional gender roles were different, but both genders still put in a lot of work. Being a STAHM is fulfilling, but it's not an easy life of smoothies and spa days. Yet it seems to be what many of them think traditional femininity means.
Newsflash modern women want to be treated as celebrities without any of the work or responsibility.
Yup.. I would say it's even harder, I used to be a project manager for a firm. It was mental stress but definitely not as much as what I feel now with my two children (STAHM) I love it though and wouldn't trade it ❤️
Yup! I worked as an arborist for 7 years (typically a masculine job) and due to a recurring injury then worked in childcare and as a nanny for 7 years working 15 hour days when I was single. Now I am a stay-at-home mother of 2, married to a cattle farmer. I had more 'me time' when I was single and working 15-hour days! 🤣
Yeah at least women in the past raising children had that goal of raising good people for the next generation. The government has been gunning for the mother role since government existed. Nothing better than to raise your next gen of soulless worker slaves and meat shield soldiers.
As an engineer as well, this title/career choice does not make anyone the opposite of their gender. What makes women masculine is attempting to take on the role of a traditional man at home but women projected their pass experiences into this role making them believe being masculine is toxic behavior. Just an observation and thought of that one little correlation you made there however I do agree on all your points. I'm seeing a big resignation movement in the company I work for which even my supervisor is beginning to act prejudice towards women and may I say that my supervior/boss is a woman.
My mother was a traditional woman/wife/mother. She took care of the house; shopping, cooking, raising us kids, sewed our clothes, helped with the garden, preserved food (so we could eat), helped take care of the budget and helped my dad take care of the books for their assigned church(s), helped with things at the church(s) when needed (most years), when my father had a massive heart attack (widow maker that he survived) she helped with services for 6 months; she dressed nicely; her hair was never out of place (she did NOT waste time on over primping because she knew she didn’t need or have to do so), she was joyful and yes, she was educated and could, in fact, work if/when she wanted to do so…not a soft girl…she was a real woman and did not have to go “boss” to prove it.
I was a male trapped in a woman’s body until my mother gave birth to me!
lol, nicely done there
That's a Good one 😂
YYEEEES.
And then what happened?
Hey, she says you seemed pretty happy in there for 9 months!
My mom hates that i want to be a house wife at my age, since she thinks that everyone should work until they can retire or cant work anymore.
I asked her one question that made her question that notion: "Are you happy?"
Her only happiest moments that she recalls was when she could just be a mom.
For the vast majority of young women there is no reason why they cannot have a profession by the time they are 24 that they can carry in their family life. They do not need to h@ve a job if they do not desire it.
@@Art-is-craft Well, you need a job until you can settle down with a guy... Kinda need to pay bills.
What I'm saying is that no job gives me that sense of fulfillment than being at home and keeping things clean. Gives the people who do go to work a nice home to come rest in.
Being a housewife is still work, though. It's just a different kind of work, and the payment isn't material, but it makes you much richer than a paycheck.
@@dafunkmonster I'm looking for fulfillment more than money if I can help my family relax after a long day at work.
I'm a woman who wanted to get educated (currently hold a Master's degree, super close to the PhD), but I am now a stay at home, homeschooling mom. I am passing on my knowledge and education to my children. There is nothing more satisfying than raising my kiddos while my husband works and brings home the bacon. I run the household and educate our kids, keep a sparkling clean home, and cook daily. Needless to say, my kids, I think, are living the life 🤭❤. Nothing wrong with having a little bit of both worlds (girl boss/trad wife).
Good for you, especially your perspective on how you’re using your degree because i’m sure some people think you wasted it.
@@ReineDeLaSeine14$100k debt to teach her kids basic things her university course almost certainly wouldn't be appropriate to teach kids. How didn't she?
I agree 💯%
I had THAT life in the 70s when I was a kiddo. My brothers and sisters had a mother that was closely engaged with them all & created a civilised & loving environment. I regret that MY OWN household with 2 FULL-TIME JOB parents couldn't raise our kiddos in the same natural way.
All college did was indoctrinate me. I was a Marxist liberal the entire time I was in education and I literally didn't become a conservative until I got married. So much wasted effort on my part.
I think both are great. I am a corporate woman. I make above 6 figures, I work 60-70 hr/week, and I’ve QUICKLY climbed. I also run my household. Cleaning, organization, cooking, groceries, dr appt, etc. my husband helps clean, and that’s super helpful. I love my life and that we have nice things but I am going on year 7 of infertility. Would trade all of this in to slow down and work on healing my body so we can conceive. Unfortunately my life is so fast that taking the time to work out consistently and heal just has not been my top priority, and as a ladder climber, it’s one of my biggest regrets.
You can make all the money in the world the rest of your life… you only have a short time to make a baby. Don’t let work/finances make you regret your decision later in life.
Close but no cigar, Brett - the "soft girl life" is not about re-discovering femininity and motherhood, it's about being a spoiled princess living a lavish and lazy life, where you do NOTHING but "self-care" and scrolling TikTok all day. Going on trips for your own enjoyment, going to the spa, having shopping sprees, etc. It is about the "rich" lifestyle, they just CALL it the "soft girl" life.
It IS about not working, but it is ALSO about not having a family and raising kids. It is sheer self-indulgence and lazy, spoiled brat-ism, expecting others to work for you and pay for EVERYTHING, while you do NOTHING!
I was thinking the same thing throughout the video. These are just lazy, narcissistic girls taking it to the opposite extreme of the girl boss.
Damn someone pissy
@sterlingdennet
Then they either need to be a sugar baby or fund that type of lifestyle themselves
Yep. Just a sugar baby, with no sugar in the negotiation
As my mom always said - there are seasons for your life and embrace them. She homeschooled 3 kids till we were in our teens. Went back to work part time. Went full time when I was 15 and I was the baby of the family. She’s had a flourishing career in the county since and is still working. That’s not even going over her career before she had kids! It’s okay to have seasons!
As a trad wife who loves her job, I’m still a little insulted that it is considered a “soft girl” thing… clearly these girls have never crawled inside their garbage cans to scrub them out for fall cleaning 😂.
Nope, they’re too busy “laying in the moss”. 😂😂
Haha sure of it! Or crawled behind the stove to remove a dead mouse! Lol
ew wtf@@Apiphany69
Yes something tells me these girls don’t know that a country cottage usually comes with a BUNCH of spiders and mice that need dealing to. Hopefully they rise to the challenge when they find out
You are not a trad wife unless you are cleaning and cooking and taking care of your family full time.
unpopular opinion: these girls don't want to "fall back" to traditional roles, they just wanna be kept
Not wrong, they want to stay home and take pictures of themselves not take care of a household
@@katelynbelisle1751 so sad yet true
do yall really think this low of women?
@@-spacedout--spacebound-7438 YES AND WE ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
I have two children a toddler and an infant and am currently a sahm. The thing I'm hearing is "soft girls" want to focus on self care and enjoying life, but are missing the piece of the puzzle that is caring for a family and home is a full time job. Unless you are lucky enough to have a husband who makes a ton of money you're not doing yoga and admiring nature all day while looking forward to your evening bath. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom ans having the time with my kids, but it absolutely is work.
Well said !!! 👏🏼
Well said....Im nowhere near a SAHP. Even as an older brother who used to change my lil bros diapers, I still yell at him for pissing on me when he was months old 😂😂. I can't imagine all day stay at home dads
@@JB-tz8fuima "stay at home dad" and i work from home its not hard at all u literally clean, take care of the kids, cook, play wit the kids and laundry that's pretty much it i understand people wanna say its "hard work" or whatever but it really isn't and i also work from home while doing this lmao. Not trying to take anything away from stay at home parents but it aint hard at all. Having patients is honestly the only thing u truly need lol.
@@subzero308homeschooling? Gardening (for food for the family) raising livestock? Being a sahp is wayyyyy more than what you just said. It sounds like you're doing the bare minimum. Don't compare your sahp experience to everyone else's.
@@JB-tz8fu don't believe subzero308. He's either lying or has a amazing support system that not everyone has. And by support, I mean someone else helping with the kiddos. I've never met anyone (male or female) work and parent and call it easy 😂
Know who else is tired of masculine women? Us heterosexual guys
And women who've never bought into any of it
womp womp
I mean a girl can play soccer but I don't wanna be a Megan Rapinoe 😂
Were you trying to date them?
Nope.
I married at 18, had 2 kids after 3 years of us enjoying our time together. I was a sahm the entire time until they were 10 & 11. When covid hit I used it to find a wah job that allowed me to still make food and ensure the house was taken care of. It was scary to go back to work but I felt called to do so. Thankfully I did because 1 year later my daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor and 4 months after that my husband collapsed and found out he has thyroid cancer. He went downhill fast and quickly was no longer able to work. While my job couldnt support us i applied and was able to get promoted that was enough to support barely but we have survived. I thank God everyday because if I had not listened and got the job i dont know how we would have made it. I dont know if I will ever be able to return to a sahm, but working from home has given me a middle ground and made it possible for me to handle most of the house (hubby helps when he can) and a career.
You never heard of disability and life insurance.
@@huitrecouture they applied and has been given disability but it is not alot, and no his job did not offer short or long term disability leave. We have life insurance but not a living rider. He was doing strong man competitions we did not expect cancer at 34.
You are such a gem ❤ I’m praying for your daughter, husband, and whole family.
I hope you have a strong familial support network. Good luck!
respect and a lot of health to you and your family! Greetings from Bulgaria
I grew up watching my mom and dad have traditional roles in their relationship. My mom stayed home, my dad worked; and the only time my mom would work is if my dad needed severe help, and even then, my mom knew it was a temporary thing. Because I grew up watching that, I also wanted that because I saw how happy my mom was being able to stay home, take care of me and my friends, and take care of the house. I was lucky enough to meet someone that had the same mindset and wanted to be the money maker while I stayed at home and took care of things there. I honestly can't see myself being anywhere else other then home and making sure my fiancé is taken care of. It makes him happy as well because we both get what we want.
My senior year of high school I told my best friend I didn’t plan on going to university. My dream/ goal was to become a stay at home wife. I expected her to support my dream or, at least, for her to have a positive reaction, but I remember her telling me “you want to give your life away to a man and have him govern over you, what a waste”. I went home and cried. After HS I worked many 9 to 5 jobs, climbed my way up the corporate ladder, had a really great paying job with a great company. I gave all that up almost a year ago when my baby was born. I’m living my dream. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of my baby and husband is the most rewarding job I could ever have.
aww good on you! I worked for 11+ years as a nurse and quit this past June to raise our baby. Being home isn't easy by any means, but it's definitely a calling for some!
I was an honor student in high school. In my senior year, my principal called me in his office to talk about my plans for my future. He was shocked to hear that I didn’t have big plans to move away to a big university. I just wanted to go to the local community college until I figured out exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew I didn’t want to chase a corporate career. I wanted to pay my bills of course, but ultimately I just wanted to be a wife and mom, and live a happy, simple life on a little farm. My principal was so disappointed with my plans. Here I am, 14 years out of high school, a wife and mama living on a little farm, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
One of the first things that a married couple should do is to have a joint investment portfolio that grows over decades. It is not just about retirement but the ability for the women to have financial power.
@@Art-is-craft
You must be lost. This is not the side of UA-cam where women are ruined by living in fear of loss or being left stranded.
Here women trust in the their husbands, just as their husbands trust them with hire lives and homes.
You are obsessed with finances and power. Of course any good couple has investments jointly.
Good for you ❤ My only issue with that is to be financially dependent on your husband because women can be stuck in very sad situations because of this. I do hope you have a great guy by your side! :)
My wife appreciates my efforts to take care of her and the family. She enjoys raising our children and acknowledges it’s hard to be a homemaker but absolutely wouldn’t trade her lot for anything!
As a millennial, I’ve felt this way for a long time 😂 I worked 2 jobs all of my 20s and into my early 30s. We were programmed to hustle and earn our way in the world like generations before us. Even now, my work pressures us to do more. Why? I don’t want a promotion. I like what I do and I don’t want more. I want less. I want the slow cozy life and time to spend with my spouse and our friends and family.
It depends on the industry or profession that a person has. And is it suitable for that person.
This. I tried going for the promotion for all of my 20s, hit as far as the companies would allow me about every time, and wound up with extreme burnout for dead end pay every time. It’s not worth it and I’m finally done for good. I’ll hustle for my own gig that will set me up to raise kids in a more relaxed setting but that is all. I’m not grinding for something that doesn’t absolutely set my soul on fire.
You're so great Brett! So happy there are young woman like you. I'm 33 and fell into the hustle "girl boss" culture and burnt out. Now I'm struggling with finding somewhere safe and secure to live. Shifting my priorities from hustling and finishing un-rewarding projects to my safety, comfort and happiness has helped my health immensely.
Great video. I'm 39 and sick of the corporate trash life. Babyboomer bosses expect younger generations to be workaholics. Without knowing the "soft girl movement," I fell into it. Wanting to explore natural product making, herbalism and cooking things from scratch leaving behind overprocessed foods. I changed from liberal to conservative in the last two years. I miss the simpler days.
As a Millennial man, I'm glad you finally came back to reality, but I'm infuriated that it took you so long. I mean, seriously, 20 years of adult life to figure out this stuff? The men figured it out within five years. This is one of many reasons why the Founding Fathers did not include women in the list of people who could vote. Read George Orwell's classic "1984". It was the women, and especially the young women, who fell hardest for the campaign slogans and propaganda. It's exactly the same in reality, and now that we have high-speed internet and social media, we see example after example of how these "bigoted" men were right all along.
Oh wow... You and the person's answer.... It is just insane. Let's go back to the medieval times!
We dont want you poisoning our conservatism. Stay on your side.
@selohcin I'm an elder millennial who was fed 24/7 that I had to be independent, stay single, make money, etc, etc etc. Everyone struggles in their lives, and some do it alone like me. If you feel you got your balance quickly congrats, but don't judge me because it's comments and beliefs like this that made me prefer to be alone rather than be in a judgmental friendship or relationship.
@luckyeagle1337 you're on a conservative channel. YOU go somewhere else. Go somewhere else that that sells brainless liberal ideology.
I had a 180-degree soft girl revolution of my own a couple years ago at 23 lol. My parents practiced very fundamentalist, Duggar-style Christianity when I was young, and as soon as I was 18 I _revolted_ against femininity, because with that upbringing, I saw femininity as performative and all about how long and modest your skirt was. So I cut all my hair off into a boy-short pixie cut, wore baggy clothing, refused makeup, and acted masculine AF.
But after a few years of that, I felt worn out and not myself. It just took time for that understandable repulsion at _performative_ femininity to wear off. So I started tentatively exploring makeup again, growing out my hair, and wearing pretty, soft, form-fitting dresses that showed off the curves I was trying to hide.
And literally within _4 months_ of doing that, I met my future husband, and we got married 7 months later. And I'm so happy now.
I work from home as a social media and website manager, I do all the laundry and the cooking, I _actually want to have kids now,_ and we're looking to buy a house and some land to homestead and homeschool on.
The soft girl revolution happened to me, and it's glorious and amazing. 10/10 recommend. 😆✨
I am privileged to be a stay at home mom, I still have to work at home: cook, clean, take care of my children, but it makes me very happy the fact that I can be present in their lives and love them, play with them and learn every old "new" thing that they discover 😅
Like when they say 😲 "mamaaaaaa look that's a car!!!!!!" And me like 😲😲😲 " omg yes it is a car!!!!"
People have forgotten that kids are fun and cute 🫤
You have to love how media portrays it as one or the other extreme and that's it. I look at my teenage daughter who loves being active and looks forward to working in robotics and having a family. She is not a boss babe, but she's not a soft girl either. I suspect that most people fall in the middle and this messaging isn't doing anything to help them.
Exactly. Thank you for providing a voice of reason to these extremes.
Tik Tok makes people parrot what they see on the internet.
I once had the same 'being soft and feminine,' conversation with 3 different women and I realised they all must be on Tik Tok following this trend.
Good on your daughter for being headstrong and herself.
This is why you home school, not only are you raising your own kid but you can teach them family values
Amen!
@beastbombshell3589 no... You don't understand. Public school is teaching kids debauchery, communism, and attempting to strip values... It's a never ending fight to keep your kids on the right track with the demons in public school. Homeschool is the only way, no matter the sacrifice
@beastbombshell3589 yeah it’s tough, it’s really hard. But it’s pretty much the only way you can know everything their being taught because your the one teaching it. I don’t have much else to add you know what it’s like being a homeschool mom and it’s the most rewarding job.
@beastbombshell3589 you most certainly can try to teach them whatever you want but they’re at that school for around eight hours every day. They’re gonna be hearing and learning a lot of stuff that’s hard to filter out.
Honestly, it's just too hard for most families to be able to do this. I do very well, live in Texas, and am generally very traditional. However, though it's not important to me how successful a woman is, I'm also not looking for someone I need to take care of and support.
Also, some of these videos talking about staying home, relaxing, and taking care of themselves just seems lazy. Historically, a stay at home wife would work the home for most of the day. Running errands, keeping the home clean, making meals, taking care of the kids, and even possibly home schooling the children. Stay at home moms are NOT "soft girls". They simply choose to commit themselves to working in the home instead of the corporate world.
"Girl bosses" work AND do all the housework, that's why they are getting fed up. After doing both, just taking care of the home and kids is a vacation
This.
THIS! The “girlboss” is the stay at home mom. This trend got popular because women see mothers, likely our own, who did the traditional role of a mother but also had to work full time. I think it’s mainly a movement of women rejecting this (that’s why we also see a trend of decentering the men who are likely causing mothers to work outside of the home, or creating more work in the home
If you are man not wanting a women you take care of and support, you are doing the man thing incorrectly.
The only vibe I get from these TikTokers is that they just want to lay around and read books and roll around in the leaves and it's really just a different vibe of selfishness wrapped up in "self-care".
I like tomboys. Nothing wrong with liking masculine things. Being able to do both leads to fun possibilities. She doesn't have to be super girly to be feminine, just chill and willing to raise a family and be a loving mother.
You're bi. That's why
That's reassuring, as someone who can't wear make up 😂 there is hope!
there is a religion among us guys we dub it "tomboy supremacy"
we may begin your search comrade
@@pepperonipizzailyyou can still be feminine and not wear make up! I never wear makeup, but it's getting in touch with your feminine self, it goes way deeper than the surface!
@@pepperonipizzaily Trust me guys find it way more attractive that you don't feel the need to put on make up.
Also makes it more special if you do, at an event or a wedding for example.
I see many men saying, "there is a problem with educating too many women" or "you can't be a good mother and have a job." However, these men need to understand that they imagine a perfect world where all couples stay together till the end. There are many factors in real life that can cause couples to break up/divorce. Many times, men start being emotionally or physically abusive later in a relationship, or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing. In the end, women are at a loss. Nowadays, a high-paying job requires education, so it is way better for women to get an education (of course, if they want to!)
I have also noticed a repeating tendency from the comments and real-life experience where men want a stay-at-home wife who takes care of the house and children while being the one who earns money. But most of them also think that just because they bring in money, they don't have to be present in their wives' lives (being emotionally available and supportive) or in their children's lives. To be a good dad means spending quality time with your children and not immediately going to the sofa to watch something or play games after work, telling your son who wants to play with you, "Leave me alone, I'm tired because I worked all day." Most of the time, men miss out on that and eventually become absent parents, which results in mental health issues in children later in life (maybe not always but most of the time).
There are also many men who like highly motivated women with big career goals, and there is nothing wrong with that. Y'all just can't accept that women have their own individuality and self-worth to not be fully dependent on men.
At the end of the day, I think it is up to women to decide what they want. Do they want to work? Nice! Do they want to be a stay-at-home wife? Sure! You just need to find a partner who aligns with your beliefs and views on life.
This post doesn’t have any replies?! Let me fix that for you. Preach sister. 🙌
The choice days are over simply because the economic / monetary system is now based on 2 workers since labor pool is saturated. We'll all need a few decades to build a society of some sort again. It can be done.
"Many times, men start being emotionally or physically abusive later in a relationship, or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing. In the end, women are at a loss." ya 805 of the divorce cases are initiated by women and akmost all divorce rewards are rewarded to women along with kids and even house at times, now single women own more houses than men thanks to the divorce perks.
many times men tyrn abu$ive? there are more men who are victims of dv than women it is just not talked about because women are angels narrative wont fit, over 33% of marriages in US are zexless so why WOMEN ONLY TALK ABOUT EMOTIONALLY UNAIVABLE MEN AND NEVER WOMEN?
"In the end, women are at a loss" how? when women are the ones rewarded for breaking the marriage?
"or they find another lover and leave their partner with nothing" are you really this obvili0us or deliberately ign0rant to the reality to paint women as vicctims?
if anyting it is men that are losing everything ,including his kids, while she brings another man into his house and a step dad to his kids.
80% od divorce cases filed by women yet men are the ones leVIng?
whaat security men have in marriage? western tr@sh generation of women are incapable of empathy for men and men's issues and the desparation to paint women as innocent agels is astonishing.
More i listen to western women and how little fook they give about men makes me realize how seelfi$h and di$gusting female nature is.
and you are the kind of womn men should risk their lives and save while you do not give a flying fook about men and even worse paint women as the victims when they are the ones leaving marriages for divorce perks
"But most of them also think that just because they bring in money, they don't have to be present in their wives' lives (being emotionally available and supportive) or in their children's lives." okay lets hear where this is heading
" To be a good dad means spending quality time with your children " okay
" not immediately going to the sofa to watch something or play games after work, telling your son who wants to play with you, "Leave me alone, I'm tired because I worked all day." Most of the time, men miss out on that and eventually become absent parents, which results in mental health issues in children later in life (maybe not always but most of the time).
" so basically after his long hours of work now he should be ready to be the present parant and play with the child and make her feel special like a fooking robot?
how dare he take an hour or so break after work and right away sswitck back to playing with the child or pamper the grown woman?
after all that is his job be a w@ge sl@ve and come back to hoemm to be a grown woman emotional tamp0n.
women wonder men are do not want to marry anymore, yaa i wonder too
Nah educated and ambitious women with grace and feminine>>>>>> every other kind of women
I learnt about this in English and honestly it’s kind of annoying but what annoys me the most is that girls call other girls pick me if they want to succeed
It doesn’t make sense. Who doesn’t want to be picked by the opposite sex (apart from gay people)?
@@AutomaticDuck300 Everyone wants to be picked. As humans we seek validation to some degree one way or another.
@@blueiris1542 yeah exactly
What???
Pick me if you’re traditional, pick me if you’re not. There’s someone out there for everyone, so just live the way you want 😂
If you happen to be naturally a masculine woman, live your life and go on with what you’re doing. What ever works for you and your (potential) partner is great. But don’t try and push all women to be the same masculine “girl boss” that society tries to push.
Exactly 💯
Both types of women can co-exist simultaneously and it shouldn't be an issue!
And I’m glad that we ARE able to coexist!
I don't think the society does. I'm not a girlboss and nobody ever tells me I should be one.
Which is true, although women are socially oriented, they often have an overwhelming desire for validation from peers (other women). They seek status among their peers based upon themselves and especially their mates.
What went wrong long ago was too many other women sold the idea that family is a secondary or even a third in value within ones life, when it obviously should be first priority.
But who doesn't work these days? Unless you're blessed with rich parents.
Working and be financially independent isn't a masculine trait. It's a human trait, just trying to survive.
I love being a SaH mom, but it is a full time job by itself. I can’t even imagine trying to be out in the workforce as well. I am so thankful for my husband’s commitment to take care of and provide for our family.
As Chesterton once said regarding families (paraphrasing): “Would you rather be Something to Everyone or Everything to Someone?”
Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job. They pay people to do what you are doing for free. I see too many women who have to work in AND outside of the home, 100% of the day, while their partner does 50% or less consistently. Marriages are supposed to be a partnership, and it sounds like you have that.
I would not encourage anyone to be a stay at home mom unless if they had a husband like yours- a provider.
Excited to start my sahm journey, prayerfully next year 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Currently spending my time mentally preparing for the load as much as possible 😅
Amen! My husband and I recognized a long time ago that our roles in our home made each other's preferred lives possible. He can be the protector/provider because I am being the nurturer/home keeper and vice versa. ❤ Our kids love it. I love it. He loves it. It WORKS for us!
Staying at home is nothing like a full time job. You must be using your imagination if you think it's even remotely close to what people are actually dealing with at work.
As a masculine woman, I love being masculine. Always have been. Hung out with boys since elementary school. When I try to become more "femenine" I become miserable. I can do it, but I'm miserable. I prefer strength over vulnerability.
Let's normalize everyone doing whatever they want. If you tell people they're doing their sex "wrong", they become trans, mutilating their bodies for stupid expectations. Don't fall into that trap.
Single mother for 12 years. Working multiple jobs. Living on our own and taking care of of everything always. It’s exhausting being the dad/masculine and trying to also be soft.
yet dad's don't get applaud for doing so. I always thought if women actually worked like men they would apricate how men worked for women. I guess that was false like even man don't scream i don't need no women i can do everything on my own cause we know its not good for us to do so.
so its masculine to have a job now? Do you even hear yourself? Lmao both liberals and conservatives are embarrassing
@mamajedi745 I don't know about the get paid more man. I pay most of the expenses and recreation costs for my lady, AND IT'S THE SAME THING ALL OVER MY COUNTRY. Like a huge percentage of the spending are out of my pocket though we bought are earners.
It would be nice to make it 50-50 though, so we can Universally damand a 50-50 spending, IN EVERYTHING. Time to torpedo the idea of the men being tje providers. Both party SHOULD BE PROVIDERS.
@mamajedi745 I'm afraid women are not great in jobs. Yeah I said it. I don't know how y'all say we multitask and we should earn more than men. Let me explain about females at my workplace. Punch in to work late because they scared to do reverse or parallel parking. So they go park at this lot which was 2km walking distance. All they do is gossip in workplace and ended up taking multiple projects eventough they knew the deadline by end of that evening. Without finishing a single project they will leave the premises at sharp 5pm and I swear I never seen any women in my workplace do OT. Whereas every men literally do OT everyday. That's why our income differ than yours. Yeah we men took one project at a time but the thing is we always finish by end of the day. And OT is for those unfinished projects that started by your sisters. Soo cry more. Forgot to mention about makeup breaks. Kneeling down to project leader so that you can climb corporate ladder with no hardwork or whatsoever.
@mamajedi745 I'm afraid this is just tip of the iceberg. I can literally can go more and more. But it will just potray me as a misogynist. Stop calling yourself hardworker when you don't put in any single effort.
My wife thought she wanted to be a boss babe and make 6 figures on her own. After Covid she was laid off and was home with the kids while I was away in the military. She realized she loved being a stay at home mom and still is to this day! With her staying home and supporting the house I am able to go out and earn that 6 figure income for us. She regularly thanks me for our life and it makes me love her even more every time
Can I ask, how was she financially supported while you were deployed and she stayed at home??
@@TheNinjapancake14you make money when you’re deployed, dum-dum. There is a tree out there right now, working hard at producing the same Oxygen you just wasted trying to imply she was doing something nasty while he was deployed. You should go apologize to that tree.
I was not implying that at all!! A lot of parents cannot afford to take a break from work so I was wondering if there was any other flow of income or if they saved enough money.
I love this!! So happy for you both friendo!
@@Alix-yu8rq Uh oh,someone is angry
Oh you mean women want to actually be feminine now and stop striving to be men? What a novel concept! Reject modernity, embrace tradition. 💗
I’m a small scale homesteader/gardener, wifey and SAHM, I homeschool my daughter, and after over a decade in the medical and financial fields, I have never been more fulfilled, what society thinks be damned. I live in the country, I grow huge amounts of organic food and flowers, I make my own bread and butter and homemade meals, I wear flowy skirts and dresses every day, I’m incredibly healthy/work out consistently, I sleep well at night and am overall very relaxed and happy with my life. Try it! 💗🌸💗
And is it just possible that this change has come about all of a sudden due to them now being required to register for the draft? I honestly think that that has a big part in this change of attitude among some women
That sounds very relaxing. I can think a few stay at home moms who would hate your life, and you would hate theirs (living in the suburbs, hates dresses, doesn’t go to the gym but rolls in the dirt with her kids). The beautiful part is that we have options to do so or not! ❤️
@@AlfredeBlome-df3sgwho cares what caused it? Women are life givers, they shouldn't be drafted. If it's going back to traditional, what does it matter what causes it.
That had been my dream since I was a little girl! It's almost frustrating that I felt alone these almost 30 years old, and NOW everyone is realizing it/it's spreading lol
@@AlfredeBlome-df3sg Women aren't required to register for a draft (currently), nor is there any current draft for men *or* women. I'm not really sure where people are hearing this, but one google search tells you it's fake 😅
This was a great video! Thank you. I clapped at the end as you said you plan to let your self evolve as life moves in. I never planned to be a SAHM. Now I’m a 31 year old mom of five girls, and I already feel like I have this heavy burden of balancing between the messages of “you can literally pursue/become who ever you feel called to be” and traditional values that hold a healthy society together. How do you raise “true” feminist who are proud who they are as women in this crazy world.
It's not about feminism. Life means BOTH masculine and feminine working TOGETHER -and not just being a trophy luxury wife to some rich man or working your ass of in a company or with a spouse, but in REALLY CLOSE COMMUNITIES TOGETHER. Some people on this earth still get this is the way of actually LIVING and not just working for your own/your family. But Western individualistic culture kills attempts at real back to human roots life.
I literally used to get BULLIED for having a soft girl aesthetic by all of my old friends and now they're all posting online about how much they love this trend bffr
It be like that. Doesn’t matter who does it “first.” It’s who does it better
It's scary how the internet perceptions of things can mold ppl's opinions. I've seen colleagues who hated goth culture get goth because of how many people liked wednesday. And now I'm seeing my friend (who also made fun of me for the same reason as yours) post millions of videos of the soft girly and coquette trend, claiming she always loved it. I guess the core of things is that people do what is trending, not what they want. Eventually they can hope to something they enjoy be apreciated by people, otherwise they are most likely to remain still (like the false girlbosses)
@@TheNinjapancake14 I wouldn't say they do it better. They just follow what's trending.
@@stopthismadnessinthenameofking exactly. It's really scary sometimes to think about how far people are willing to go to fit in and follow trends.
I wish I had one ounce of Brett's grip on reality when I was 22. I am now almost 40 and let a life of true fulfillment pass me by all for the sake of a career. I am so glad this next generation is learning from our mistakes. Girl Power and Girl Bossing was a joke.
You could have been a working mom and done both. Who told you to choose?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Easier said than done. And society did (listen to Michael Knowles' show today. He basically covers this). Could I have? Possibly but I highly doubt I would have the same success and career. I chose what I chose and now I live with that decision. The point is, Brett is mature beyond her years and I am so hopeful for this new generation.
40 is not to old to make a serious life change. All you got to do is want it. If you want it badly enough you will find a way to make it happy. Its always easy to say no or impossible. The challenge is to say yes I make it possible
it's the one good thing about social media. Good ideas can spread just as well as the bad ones
@luvmy61
That's true too, you still could have been successful. At my workplace the director (female)is married and has 3 kids. Another Co-ordinator married late , had her first child at 40, then 2 more, all healthy children.
All the women I know work and most are working moms.
You still have some time left. Good luck.
So happy to be a “soft girl” 🥰 Ny dad raised his girls to be, and I married a man who takes care of me and treats me like a princess and I treat him like a king. Sahm of 4 kiddos. I love cleaning and decorating my cozy home, exercising, eating healthy and tapping into my femininity! ❤
I’ve been a “trad wife” since I met my man and got married. We got pregnant right off and I quit my job because I was so sick during the pregnancy. We’re blessed to be able to thrive on one income, which has enabled us to birth & adopt 4 kiddos in 4 years, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. I often view motherhood as my “career” and my children as “promotions”: greater blessing and greater responsibility. Motherhood and wifehood isn’t the same hard as a man’s career, but it’s its own journey and one we’re designed for biologically, hormonally and psychologically as women.
Personally I'm tired of trends, can't people be i don't know, who they want to be ?
I quit working in 2012 to be SAHM and wife. It's the most underrated life choice. My husband didn't ask me to do it or expect it. I wanted to do it and still to this day I struggle with guilt bc of society pressure. Even tho we're very financially comfortable, some ppl think both husband & wife should work to death. Nope. I like taking care of our home & he enjoys not having to split chores while i b**ch about how he did it.
Guess I've always been in my "soft girl era." This is comical to me, because I was raised to support the man who decides to bring you into their life. I feel so blessed to be a stay at home mom, making all my daughters clothes, and learning to do the most with the least
Ditto.
Where are you type of girls hiding? I’m tryna find one like you who has a screwed on head
I don’t like this mentality because it devalues the women. Women and men should be equal. Idk why it’s constantly either elevating men or women. The way you said that, sounds like women should feel lucky” but not the man. We should value each other. Wtf lol
@britt6084 no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just thankful of the situation I'm in. My husband and I are very equal
@@britt6084 how on earth did you get that from what she said lol.
I was a stay at home mom, we struggled financially always, but we knew it was best for our family. I had "career women" friends who seemed to resent/envy me, wondering what I did all day.....while they whined about being exhausted, angry, and constantly at odds with husbands. Who was expected to pick up the slack once everyone got home? My choice to be a Traditional house wife contributed greatly to a stable home life for the whole family. No regrets. My kids and husband always knew where to find me and what to expect from me. No, my day was not yoga and books and facials, I worked hard at home.
The jokes on these girls. They spent years telling me that we are worthless and they don't need us. Good luck finding us again because we did what you wanted and left
Lmao they can find another you, no problem.
Who?
@@alexisc7565 They can if they didn't waste too many years...
@@peteranon8455even if they did according to you
@@alexisc7565 lol no they won't. The wall takes no prisoners. They'll be alone with zero prospects while men their age pick up girls half their age
My wife of 44 years was a stay-at-home wife and mother for 38 of those years. We never regretted it. It wasn't a luxury. I was a career soldier for 26+ years. One of our tougher memories was the day she had to come home from the grocery store without ketchup because the money budgeted for food was gone and ketchup was a luxury. She only worked for 6 years while our kids were in middle school and high school. Besides a clean home, health home-cooked meals, and a garden, she also ensured our children were actively being educated so as to prepare them for college. Because of academic scholarships, one received her undergrad for no cost, the other ended up with $2500 in student debt which she paid off herself in 14 months. Both daughters became stay-at-home moms when they started their own families. The TWO genders have roles for a reason. When a person decides to break a "mold", he/she needs to be prepared for what spills out.
Glad they didn't go deep into debt. Did you encourage them to be stay at home moms, and so they were conditioned with you "pressuring them," or did they just not enjoy utilizing their brains within the workforce? You mentioned how breaking the traditional "mold" spills trouble, and so it sounds like you weren't actually supporting them to *use* their education and to pursue interesting careers.
I'm sorry for your daughters, they clearly wasted their potential
Well bless your heart. One of the many great things about our Country is our 1A rights. My our God bless you greatly in your quest for a peace which passes all understanding.@@nicciekawego69
Well, I can see where one might think that. One of the many challenges of being a career soldier is the likelihood of being away a great deal. Though my wife has many of the same ideals as I, we tried to encourage our girls to make informed decisions. They share 14 first cousins. None of their female cousins are stay-at-home mothers. Both of my girls worked in their chosen jobs until they started their families. The oldest was a financial advisor, the other worked in Healthcare management. To each her own...@@HannahLevin-yx4gm
Being a girl boss is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever 😂
Trading everything you wanted for nothing you needed is never a good deal.
The rise and fall of feminism in one sentence: women wanted the life they thought men had, and ended up with the life men actually have.
@@Alix-yu8rqyeah up vote your own comment... That's not cringe at all. And your example counts for like 2% of the population if that... A majority of the time it's women abusing men.
I have done both. Stayed home and girl boss. Ups and downs to both. People need to do what is best for them at the time without judgement. We all are just trying to do what is best for ourselves and our family
theres a reason why companies dont want you to have two jobs esp in management ect. because you cant fully dedicate yourself to their one job if you have to do another. same with raising kids. youre either all in or you let strangers raise your kids (daycare etc). thinking you can be excellent in both is a lie- either your job suffers or your kids do.
My mom pushed hard for me to grow up and run my own business, not rely on a man and overall be independent. Since I started dating my bf 2 years ago, I realized she was pushing that on me because she hasn't been with a man that could really take care of her so she didn't want me to fall into that trap. Now that I am in a relationship with a man who also has traditional values my dreams of becoming a SAHM will come true when the time comes. Until then we are both working hard to give eachother the life we both want.
More like she couldn't _choose_ a man to really take care of her, or she couldn't _act right_
We know how the game works now💊
Being a stay at home mum is a grind all on it's own. From sun up to sun down, you are constantly cleaning up after your kids, cooking meals for them, meal prepping, tidying and cleaning the home, keeping on top of laundry, making sure to have frequent days out with kids to keep them happy and stimulated, taking care of the garden, growing food in the green house, taking care of the pets, walking the dog, making time for friends and family, doing all the food shopping, bla bla bla. I very seldom have a moment to even sit down during the day without having something to tend to. Once the kids are in bed, dishes are washed, kitchen is tidy and toys put away, only then can I say the day is over. I still would choose this life over the 'girl boss' life. I love my home, my family, my pets, my garden all too much.
When the pandemic hit I realized I am a soft girl at heart. Now a stay at home mom and I absolutely love it.
You go girl!! ❤
@@Alix-yu8rq This isn't about you.
@@CampTunes being a stay at home mom, is incredibly productive. they literally prepare the future generations, maybe your mom should’ve stayed home with you, you’d realize how hard yet rewarding it is
@camptunes raising the next generation of humans so the human population doesn't go extinct is some how not productive?
@@CampTunes You make no sense, lol
I don't have a problem with this. Here is reality....my wife has always wanted to be a stay at home mom and housewife. I have zero issues with that. However, reality sets in when she wanted a house, and other main staples to be fully provided for. Unfortunately, my salary does not cover all of those. Therefore, she came to the realization that to have those things, she had to work. Not my fault seeing that I work full time (and sometimes two jobs) but it is reality sinking in. If you want to live that lifestyle, then that's fine but the household income has to be well over $100k per year (in this current economy). It is reality.
As a Gen X female whose been in masculine energy mode most of her life I can officially say I'm tired of working 50-60 hours per week with no free time to do the things I crave such as spending time with my family, taking care of my home and just being able to submit to a good man who at the end of the day helps out and takes care of me. Long story short I'm tired of the boss babe lifestyle that's been forced upon me and formally reject it! Glad to see that the tide is starting to turn!
Can you difine masculinity and femininity for me please I am confused..
Gen x here and I think the bill we were sold was bs, that we had to do it all. At least newer generations are realizing it doesn’t work, unless both partners are all in, if you try to career and family multitask.
Oh, what about the wage gap then :D
@@DD21934basically. Masculinity is how women live now vs how they used to live. Don’t quote me it’s a super vague description cause I can’t even explain it myself. I think maybe look up a video that could help clarify more
@@DD21934if I had to try to explain, masculinity is more so being independent, sucking up feelings, working harder, and things like being a party girl. While femininity is more like a traditional girl who has goals, supportive, and less like a leech who wants to be the boss of everything. Still super vague and potentially completely wrong but if anyone knows help explain please!
I used to try to embrace a fake sense of masculinity in myself until I looked in the mirror one day and realized how unhappy I was. I felt useless in a world that had told me my worth was based in BEING masculine. I’m so happy to be feminine and cute and full of womanhood and to be excited about a future career at the same time
Well too little too late.
No such thing
@@Alix-yu8rq It does look different for everyone! :) Women different to me are not “wrong,” but what was wrong was traits being forced upon me (like the “girlboss” mindset) that were unhealthy for my mind. I also love to stand up for myself, be confident in myself, have my own money, and be educated! It is not that these traits are bad for any other woman to have, it’s that they were bad for me and it’s sad to see a lot of other women in the same position I was in: confused, lonely, and wanting change but not knowing how to do so. I hope this response allowed you to see more into my own mindset, and that you realize I was not making an attack on other women for their differences. Have a great day
About 4 months ago several 'men's blogs warned about this "soft girl" trend...previous femin*st women who knew 'hard times' were coming and chose to go 'soft girl'..
It's hilarious to watch it come true.
"Don't want to be a boss babe anymore...want to settle down and be a traditional girl".
What happens when the 'hard times' are over?
There's over half a century of this 'boss babe...don't need a man' mantra.
Too many men slammed in divorce, false accusations, bias and woke media.
Many men have simply said, "To hell with it" and walked away. The trust is gone.
Pandemic shattered their illusion and now theyre seeing their status was all a lie: they arent princesses and they need men more than the reverse.
This is the perfect "era" to scoop up young women who havent been tainted by girlboss culture and see the misery of their elders. Never forget how women your age treated you pre covid.
The real girl boss is a dedicated, loving wife and mother. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. The best men lead their families with love. Marriage is for life, not for a season.
As a man, I’m also tired of women being masculine. Give me a cute flirty girl over a girlboss any day!
amen to that!
Nah for me it's the opposite. Excessive makeup, cuteness, acting helpless is such a massive turnoff. Being confident and self-assured is great (but not arrogant obvs).
Also short hair > long hair. Any day.
@@adamcaldwell5646 People really do not know what femininity is. I'm religious, I can tell you that femininity is pretty much in the minority (non-existent) in western society.
You need to attract them
same, too bad good girls are rare
In my opinion it’s all about balance. Yes you want to be at home and take care of yourself and your family but also sometimes it’s nice to take back some control over your life and have a job. I think it’s kinda stupid we’ve decided that you should just be one or the other.
Fully agreed thank u
Finally a comment I can agree with
Things like being present in the community, volunteering, etc are also legitimate ways of "taking back control" while still being family-focused. It doesn't always necessarily have to be about money. Just doing something because you want to do it, want to help others/feel productive. That's the main thing that drives me crazy when I don't have a job, I want to feel like I'm contributing something to society. Not quite related, but I also believe there's a reason women are generally more drawn to the arts, and there are ways to monetize that if you so choose. I'm not disagreeing, I'm just saying there are other things you can do that don't involve making the commitment to a job.
Truth is that not every woman is built to be a stay at home and not every man is built to be the bread winner. What is important, in every couple, regardless of sexuality, is that both are on the same page and I can’t think of anyone who would sign up to be the money donor for a “life of leisure”.
YES!!
This is great for the women who find dependable partners but for those of us that come from broken families and dysfunctional parents it can be frightening to think of depending on someone else to provide for us. It can be our deepest desire but our worst fear at the same time…
I absolutely understand you. Ask God to lead you to the right man(if you don't have one already) that'd be like a father to you-a Husband(from husbandry), a nurturer, one that amplifies the gifts and testimonies embedded in you. I pray God takes away your fears, grants you reassuring peace and perfect tranquillity regardless life's endless cycles. God bless you.
That's what I was thinking the whole time. The partner is the make or break to the "soft girl" or trad lifestyle.
If you are traumatized and had bad role models then you are an easy prey for abusive, manipulative people and unfortunately they sense that. I would not recommend getting into situation where you have to depend on somebody because you might not be a good judge of character or you might simply fall for familiarity and repeat the cycle. Work on yourself first, go to therapy, if you can and need to. You might meet a good man, but you have to feel safe first and you have to be in a good mental state.
That’s why therapy is there for those who need it. And if it is unaffordable, there’s lots of self help books out there to give you a starting base. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, Or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay Gibson is a book my therapist recommends.
If you want this lifestyle fear can’t hold you back. Work on yourself for you, your future partner and your future children.
@@odunsioluwafemi3882 stop with the God crap, it literally doesn't do anyone any good, never has and never will.
I dated a career driven woman, and I’ve dated a soft woman, I never required or requested a woman to work if we’re in a relationship, I give my girlfriend an allowance, she leans and trusts me and we are committed. It feels great to work and feel like a man and providing. I work so much. I want her there when I need her for mental health, she drives me to work harder. I want her to have a happy healthy life. My promise to her is make her life as easy and happy as possible. She makes me feel loved and appreciated, I do the same
That is very kind of you. I dated a couple of guys that kept pressuring me to have a career, and it was very stressful. And this is coming from a girl who went to college and has a degree. My ultimate dream was always to be happily married. I think that's what every woman wants. :) Of course we will have other goals in life, too, but pursuing a career isn't going to be top priority for most women.
It's rough when we live in a world where we judge anyone who makes different choices than what we do, and we yell at them telling them what they should want. If a girl wants to be a boss babe, sure. If a girl wants to be a mother, great. Each of those choices comes with different outcomes. Like Brett said in the egg video, you can't necessarily have it all. You need to be introspective enough to determine what it is that you want out of your life, and not just be impressed by every tiktok that comes across your feed.
I was unfriended by someone 30 years ago when she decided that she really just wanted to be a housewife, and that I would not have supported her in that. Truth was that I supported her in any way she wanted to go in her life, and up to that point had been graduate study in archeology. I decided that I, still recovering from a particularly bad breakup with someone else, couldn't offer her that alternative. Today, she seems to still be living that good life, though with her kids now grown, and is dabbling in resuming that previous life. Good on her!
Being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Way harder than any job or schooling. We don’t get to “focus on ourselves”. I think all these girls idealizing it may have the wrong idea. Nothing about it feels “soft” to me. I don’t have time for any “self care” or just enjoyable activities. It’s definitely way better than “working” though
Sounds like a woman whose job was pushing papers or taking phone calls. Lol. Logging, doing concrete, carpentry, being a doctor, this is all way more difficult than being a parent.
Pffffff 😂👋
Yea im a single mom of three boys. Im able to stay home because of maintenance paid to me and my babies dad asked if id stay home to take of the kids so he gives me a little extra. Its very tight tho and ive had to lessen my lifestyle but its worth it to stay home with the kids, however.... there is nothing soft about this life lmao.
agree up until the last point. it's not harder working. maybe for some work but mostly not.
What do you think stay at home moms do exactly? Mop floors, wipe poop multiple times a day, haul laundry to the basement to wash, vacuum floors, drive everywhere, walk for hours to buy groceries and then haul the groceries in, take out trash, scrub the toilets and tubs and mirrors and sinks, make beds, hang up laundry to fry, brush hair, pack lunches, fold clothing, wipe counters and tables from food and slave over a hot stove three times a day every day and then scrub pots and pans after each and every meal. As well as clear tables and any messes the kids make. You think that’s not manual labor? LOL. In fact the only one doing carpentry at my house is ME 😂 not to mention keeping appointments and taking care of everyone while sick. Oh and actually entertaining and teaching and disciplining the kids so that they grow up to be well rounded adults. I could keep listing tasks but it’s actually a ton of physical hard work that takes a toll on the body.
This is encouraging! I am recently married and my now wife was making us both miserable because she was trying to do all the working all while thinking about kids and still wanting to do those “more feminine tasks” after the break of our honeymoon she finally realized how much worse she was making life for both of us. She is looking for a part time job now and actually now feels like she will have the time to want to do all these other things she actually likes! If you want to go be a girl boss go for it but don’t force it because some sad group of women tell you to
Based on the description of what these Gen Z women want in their life this isn't new, it's not Soft Girl it's Trophy wife life. This is not a new concept and let's be honest the majority of these women are so far from Trophy wife status it isn't going to happen.
There is a difference between saying it on Tik Tok and actually having the aptitude and attitude to do it..
It takes wisdom and work!
@@victorial8764 and good decisions in your past.
I’m here for soft girl era! Currently living it! I stayed at home with my child 5 years ago and it helped shape my child into such an amazing human. I recently quit my job again to be a SAHM. My husband and child love it! My family gets home cooked meals weekly, I love organizing & cleaning. I get to workout and do all the things I love while still being a wife & mother. We are truly blessed. I never felt the urge to be a “boss babe”. I always thought that term was silly. I love being a woman in a healthy loving relationship. My husband adores me & my child gets to be with me after school, eat good, help with homework, drive to sports, etc. I love this life!
Tbh I’m here for it and absolutely respect it
Must be nice.
@@Goldenbamboo333 it’s very nice! 🥰
I am 58 and have had a wide range of jobs. Being a stay at home mother was by far the hardest.
I’m a college educated stay at home mom, who takes care of the majority of household duties, who homeschools my kid, and makes lunch and dinner for my family every night. I’ve also been in the workforce from my teens to my late thirties so I’ve done both. And let me tell you being a stay at home mom and raising kids and keeping a house is WAY MORE DIFFICULT, mentally and physically taxing because at a job you have a set amount of things you do for a set hours but SHM is a job that starts when you wake up from when you go to bed. I wouldn’t trade it for working because I feel way more rewarded being a SHM mom, but don’t get the impression you’ll be sitting on your butt all day drinking smoothies.
I think you can be a traditional wife without being a "tRaD wIFe"😮 Just because this generation is obsessed with labeling every single natural human impulse doesn't mean we have to live by those labels. I have an advanced degree (in a subject nowhere near where I started in college) and worked and now I stay home and take care of my family, cook, clean, paint, craft, make home repairs and if I could I'd have farm animals. I'm also available to my family and community without having to ask anyone for time off. It's OK to want more than one thing and it's OK to change. I wish someone had told me that when I was entering the world as a young adult. So, if you're a young person who feels like they have to have it all figured out and all your plans must be huge and impressive, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. Most of all, don't fight your nature. Find a way to live that enhances your nature and you will be happy. TLDR: This introvert was never going to be a girl boss and thank God for that. I'm me and I'm happy, no label needed.
"A rose by any other name...."
might i interest you to the gateway animal... chickens start with 2-4 and in a few years you'll have a farm no matter where you live
A trad wife IS what a traditional wife is you dolt, its just shortened for ease... we just wanna get back to traditional family values.
So, you racked up a bunch of student debt for a degree you don't use, just for your working husband to pay for. That's great. You were part of the problem
"You can be a traditional wife without being a traditional wife" ... what?
My wife stays at home, manages our home and schools our kids. There is nothing "soft" about her, except the lovely feminine form she's graced with and her compassionate heart.
She has endured and powered through much. I respect and love her now more than ever. I don't understand why feminists can't grasp this.
They do. Feminists understand the hard work women do in the home
@@TheNinjapancake14 Then why don't they value that work?
@@TheNinjapancake14they don’t. Modern feminists think free the nipples is what it means to be a feminist.
Yes! Thank you. Femininity might be soft but it is definitely not weak.
Some of you guys really get triggered by the word soft.
Brett is so incredible with her transitions to ads and I have been trying so hard to anticipate when one is coming based on what she's saying/how she's talking and I FINALLY predicted one 😅
As a full time stay at home mom, I am against feminism. I also think this "soft girl" trend can be inspiring in SOME ways, but in my opinion is promoting lazy luxury. I can honestly say I work harder as a stay at home mom than I did outside the home. Now it's MORE ENJOYABLE. It's MORE FULFILLING. It's MORE MEANINGFUL. And I love it! But it is a lot of hard work too. Lol. Making smoothies, doing yoga, and painting landscapes while sipping wine is NOT the life of a typical stay at home mom. I'm not against those things in theory as a moment of personal development, active rest, etc. but I am not about preaching laziness. The pendulum always swings so far in every direction -signed, a non-asthetic traditional wife, stay at home mom, and homemaker who works hard :)
As a SAH for the last 20 years to 5 children I homeschooled and a constantly deploying husband... people make more work than they need to. Life can be whatever pace YOU set it at. Life can be what YOU make it to be.
Americans always add way to much to their plates. Because they are told its how things must be done.
I'm a work from home mom and I agree... why is it it that so much of these trad type trends are more about women indulging in luxury and aesthetic style than it is about the actual development of domestic skills, thrift, talent, etc? I'd be totally down for that, as one who is struggling in that area lol.
@@MrsWarriorRed33med I'm not complaining about my life :)
@@maryangelica5319 I haven't posted a video in a few weeks, and it's super small right now, but that's actually what my channel is about!
The sad thing is that girls were always strong to begin with. True strength comes from within. What started as giving women a choice to go to work has now become the rule. Now none of us have a choice. We all played ourselves 😂
Just wait until the military draft is reinstated.
Whats wrong to have a choice?
@@run2cat4runi didn’t say its wrong to have a choice. I said non of us have a choice anymore
@emmanueleka6836 Women DO have a choice though...stay at home wives/moms are still a thing...back then women REALLY didn't have a choice since many women couldn't even get their own bank account until the 70s.
Women started working because they wanted to. It became required when a single income could not provide for one household
I was raised in a very traditional Samoan family, my dad works while my mom takes care of me and my siblings (5 of us). I knew since I was 12 that all I wanted to be was a mom, the way my mom talked about me and my siblings sparked something in me and filled me with warmth, the way she risked her life for all of us when the doctor said she wasn’t able to have another baby after my older brother just shows how much she has sacrificed for us. During my school days we had career day and we had to do a power point on a career we want to work towards and I had none cause careers just didn’t catch my attention like motherhood did, I am 20 now and I still feel the same way!
I’m curious, do you have a family now? If not, how are you putting yourself in positions to meet a potential partner? Do you live at home still? Do you have hobbies that require money?
I have a friend who has the same desire as you, but is not having any luck. A lot of people meet their spouse at work or school, and I can’t think of any places or activities to mingle with people for free, unless if you live in a big city.
Feminism isnt all women having to be "girl bosses" and be an independent leader without kids or a man. Feminism is women having to option to do what they want. A woman who just wants be a stay at home mom and have a family and kids can still be a feminist.
Not true. Feminism is giving the opportunity for either man or woman to make a choice whether they want to work or stay at home. Times are changing & every family is different. It's all about equality.