How to Fall Back in Love | {THE AND} Sidra & Ben
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- Опубліковано 9 лют 2025
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(Part 1 of 2) Sidra & Ben, together for 12 years, are back on {THE AND} for the third time to discuss the point where their marriage was almost in shambles, and offer a "tutorial" to other couples on how to come back from the brink in a relationship | Watch part 2: bit.ly/SidraBen...
If you enjoy honest conversations like this, consider supporting us on Patreon: www.theskindeep...
Sidra & Ben Round 1 | bit.ly/SidraBen
Sidra & Ben Round 2 | bit.ly/SidraBen2
Sidra & Ben Round 3 Part 2 | bit.ly/SidraBen...
Created by The Skin Deep | www.theskindeep...
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Director | Topaz Adizes
Camera Operators | Nick D'Agostino & Meriem Dehbi-Talbot
Producers | Julia Gorbach & Meriem Dehbi-Talbot
Associate Producer | Carla Tramullas
Editor | Dane Benko
Graphic Design | Mikell Fine Iles
With the Participation of | Sidra & Ben
How to Fall Back in Love | {THE AND} Sidra & Ben
#theskindeep #relationships #relationshipadvice
{THE AND} is a powerful way to bring us together and we're touched by how our work impacts you! Please help us by becoming a monthly supporter on our Patreon page so we can continue to share more humanizing stories. Thank you for fueling us on this journey! theskindeep.com/patreon
Which decks have they done?
#於是
She Moved across the country after knowing him only for a week, and they've been together for 12 years despite all the hardships. Screw Cinderella, this is the love story I'm telling my kids...
It's the love story I hope for
Life. She did him a favor in the end.
but she cheated on her ex didn't she?
well ... we don't know how was the relationship with her ex back then, maybe she wasn't in love with him anymore.
regardless of how the relationship was good or bad cheating is cheating (not saying she did)
I hope the universe has a big love like this in store for me.
Keep calm and pray
Sorry but no
HI nice to meet you.
not the universe sweetie. Jesus❤
Same same!
I just realized they've been together for 12 years. It's amazing that they look at each other like that after so long.
Michelle Francis They tell them to purposely not break eye contact.
God I’d kill for that
@@KirraKitten NO they don't because in other videos couples constantly look away from each other when they aren't in love anymore
Are they even human? Is this even real life? They look so good & interact over levels!
They are real! We swear :)
Kristina Schuhmann lol for real so much reality shows that consist of bad negative drama in couples and families in every way that watching these couples and seeing their true love and bond that it seems unreal. just wish you see this more on tv then the hidious stuff!
I was thinking the same, and at the same time I’m sad because I’m not able to communicate and maybe even love like that...
I need to know at what point this man became so emotionally intelligent. hes blowing me away
Julia Hawthornthwaite probably fights or discussing to communicate better?
Julia Hawthornthwaite Omg right!
Julia Hawthornthwaite emotional intelligence seems like a rarity these days....
Getting into a relationship with an established cheater is not emotionally intelligent. I speak from personal experience.
Wake up kid.
There is a world out there.
*Furiously swipes on Tinder to try to find love*
Jeffrey Gill lol
Designated Driver u
Kellisa Foster me? Lol
Jeffrey Gill Hahahha
lmaoo
Their eye contact though....
maemaejojo I felt a little uncomfortable at times because of how much eye contact they had...like I was intruding on an intimate moment. It was really beautiful.:)
I imagine only soulmates look at each other this way. We can see their profound connection just by looking at them. I wonder what was it about their interaction, that after a weekend, allowed her to break up with a boyfriend, and transfer from California to Georgia. I'd like to hear them describe their first encounter with each other. They look like magic.
Ellom Gbofu True! Sidra still gushes over Ben and it's so sweet❣ They are so in love :) They say when you work through rock bottom in a relationship it can help you grow stronger as a couple x
Ellom Gbofu they really look like soulmates ❤️
I think the 3 year relationship was dead before she broke it off
she explained it pretty well in their 1st video
What I love about them is how real they are. When you watch their first video you think they're perfect and you want what they have, but as you keep following their journey and realize that not everything has been a dance on roses for them, you want to have what they have even more. Their love is so real, so raw, and so big.
Thank you for sharing :)
agree
Kira Carolina I was in a 9 year relationship until he unfortunately passed away. I get where they're coming from so much. So many people don't realize how much work goes into a partnership. Yes, on some level it should be easy. But as he said, you have to be committed to that person, and you have to actively continue choosing them. There will be bad times...you just have to look at them as your partner, and it's you two against the world.
So I totally agree with you! 😊
Kira Carolina a
I PRAY TO GOD TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS WONDERFUL COUPLE.
It’s been six months since the breakup, and I’m still struggling. He ended things out of the blue. I’ve tried moving on, but I just can’t. I still think about him every single day, and it feels like there’s no way forward
I completely understand. My partner left me too and it shattered me. I thought we had everything figured out, but he said he needed time apart. I was devastated and didn’t know where to turn
How did you cope with it? Was there anything that helped you?
Honestly, I couldn’t handle it alone. I found someone who truly changed everything for me.. Father Akabu. He’s a spiritualist who specializes in restoring broken relationships. He helped me reconnect with my partner when I thought it was impossible
I just looked him up, and I can see so many people he has helped. Thank you for sharing this I finally feel like there’s some hope for me
After reading the book called seven levels of intimacy and then watching ben & sidra, the truth to relationships is to simply keep choosing our partner through the good and bad. Don't ever stop loving them, caring for them, or thinking of ways to improve with them... This couple truly inspires me to not settle for anything less then what i deserve. They are truly the definition of pure and romantic love. Thank you so much for these videos Skin Deep!
So many people think love is a feeling. Love is nothing more than choosing to put the other person first every single day.
@@dbarless very well said 🙏
Sounds like an interesting book!! I follow the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh about true love ☺️🙏✨
People up and give up on you for the slightest reasons. What happened to the I love you so much? Your supposed to stick it out and make each other stronger. Going through it now. 16 years ready to flush it down the drain. I'm human not perfect. But I can be fixed you know.
this video gives me hope that soulmates do exist.
The way they give and receive what the other is saying still resonates so deeply with me. They are a profoundly thoughtful couple.
They're aging so beautifully
these two are just on another level. and they're there together which is just pure magic.
Thank you Savannah, what do you think is most special about their relationship?
their communication
+The Skin Deep the fact that after some 12 years they still look at each other with such love, compassion, understanding. they look at each other like they're a dream. there's such a strong connection between them. it's like they just really see each other.
They are such an emotionally in touch couple
Wow "our relationship falling apart is what helped us make is stronger"
My parents are divorced. I'm 21 and my love life isn't going anywhere. Sidra & Ben, you both have given me just a small amount of hope. Thanks for being so transparent.
DancrGal24 same
Find you. Once you do that the right person will be drawn to you.
Do not rush love DG24....take ur time...find urself..find ur Broom in life and find ur spot...Prayers..
If these people and their story don't give you hope, I don't know what can or will. I love them so much. Ugh.
Honestly I was just feeling completely completely utterly broken and hopeless and I watch this thinking hey I’ll just make myself cry but it gives me hope... whether with this person I’m having some scratches with or someone else
Wow. Every time I watch these two interact I feel so much connection between them, love and respect as well as other emotions that can't even be described. A truly sacred relationship that I think many people can go their whole life without experiencing.
Thank you for sharing Kelly, we also think Ben and Sidra can be extremely inspiring for a lot of couples, we thank them for their honesty and authenticity :)
100% needed this. I was going through a rough patch with my boyfriend to the point where we needed space for a week or so. I felt like having this rough patch wasn't normal but I'm so wrong. Every relationship has its bumps and all it takes is love and patience to rebuild that foundation again.
What a great lesson to take away from Ben and Sidra's relationship! Thank you for sharing.
we don’t care......
Joel Stammers you are obnoxious.
I’m going through this now. Your words resonate.. only mine is a VERY NEW Relationship... and I’m concerned and hurt.. and then thinking what’s wrong with me when perhaps my focus should be that everyone goes through stuff
OE U Hi! Unfortunately that relationship of 3 years ago turned very toxic and I’m glad we went our separate ways. I am now in a new relationship of a year and 4 months and let me tell you, EVERY relationship will go through trials and errors. We have had our ups and down many times but the right person will fight for you, will love you, will choose YOU at the end of the day no matter what you guys are going through ❤️
the way they can just stare at each other without getting awkward. there's a lot of emotion in their eyes, ugh I want this.
I love how they look at each other. It's like they're staring at each other's soul. I feel like that's what contributes to make their conversation so deep and so genuine. Love them.
Sidra, you better come THROUGH with those bangs, gurl.
it suits her though
My lord you can always feel how strong this couple's connection is, and their communication is so admirable!
The connection is a result of the communication.
Both of them speak so eloquently. May God bless your relationship more and keep your bond stronger.
After meeting my boyfriend and knowing him for 1 month, he had to go back to his home country as he was only visiting America. He went home, quit his job and moved to America to be with me. We have been together 2 years and counting, and we're so happy :)
Yay! Such a cool story! Thanks for sharing :)
Hey! Can I get an update? 😂
I'm in LOVE with this couple, their videos are always my favorite.
SAME
My heart is so full watching this.
I'm so grateful for their courage to be vulnerable in a public forum like this. The next time I fall in love and commit to someone, I will ask that we learn compassionate non-violent communication skills together the way Ben and Sidra have. I would love to have a partner I can be this present with and this connected with 12 years into the relationship.
I pray I find a partner with whom I can share this type of connection
watching this on mute for a few minutes and seeing them not break eye contact showed me how in-love they were even before i listened to a word they said.
GOD THEYRE SO GORGEOUS
Ikr
I'm so happy Sidra asked about the system, really gave a new perspective of things! So thank you very much!!
Ben and Sidra are both physically beautiful, but what I think transcends their outward features is the pure love that emanates from each of them as they speak their stories and communicate with each other. There have been so many parallels between their relationship and mine, and I've enjoyed watching their story unfold, as it has taught me about my relationship and helped me not feel alone when we have struggled. Everything they said in this video is what my fiance and I chose to do at the most difficult point in our relationship when it almost ended. Seeing another couple that is this dedicated to their love and the possibilities of their future if they put in the work is inspiring and wonderful. Thank you to the Skin Deep for furthering this project and providing us with raw and stunning portraits of humanity
We're incredibly happy that you were able to relate Ben and Sidra to your own relationship. That's basically the whole point of The And! To connect to relationships and bring them into your own. We promise to keep trying to keep this project alive. Thank you.
Seriously the love between these two is magical. They connect and speak so elegantly, and I just hope one day my relationship will have that much visible love between us. You two are by far my favorites!
I can't help but shed a few tears every time I watch a video of this couple. The raw and genuine conversations they are able to have is touching. Also they express their emotions and thoughts in such provocative and heart wrenching way that I can't help but listen to every word. It feels as though they are reflecting every heartbreak I've experienced. They give me so much hope that such compassionate, respectful, loving, vulnerable (in a powerful way) and understanding people can co exist together and fight through all of life's challenges that a couple faces. Thank you so much for sharing such content with us, the skin deep. I wish you guys all the best in your kickstarter and hope to see more lovely and insightful content like this from you guys.
He should be a life coach or a counselor for young people!
yes i need it with my husband. the connection they have is beautiful.
Alexis McCreary Try the Work of Byron Katie. It does Wonders and truly connects... And its free!!
His book should be called, "how to have a 12 year relationship with a cheater."
@@kaylaholmes1018 What do you mean? Who cheated?
@@kaylaholmes1018 She left him straight away, she didn't carry on back and forth. You will struggle in love if you are that quick to judge, it's hard when you stay rigid because people are fluid and if you can't bend, you break. You also have to ask yourself how perfect you are, then get in touch with that, because if you don't know your own flaws, it's going to hurt when another person points them out, which is what all good relationships contain. Fundamentally it's a balance and compromise. When you meet someone you feel so strongly about, you'll understand what happened with them that weekend and why they are still together 12 years later.
The one most important things that I have learned from THE AND's videos is that everybody has a story to tell. It's amazing. I try to listen to people with much higher focus when they talk to me now.
We're so glad our content inspired you to do that. It's great to know the impact we're having!
I'm sure I'll most likely never meet my "soul mate", and a lot of people won't either. But knowing that some people will makes me really happy.
The way thy look at each other with full acceptance and love because they've fought to keep it takes my breath away.
That "system" that Ben was talking about...man. I know he's talking about relationships, but that is so applicable for so many life situations. I'm currently in the emotional clearing/incremental progress space with certain things in my life right now and as I'm looking back, the progression he described is so incredibly true and real. Such a beautiful relationship they have to be both so aware in all aspects.
Thank you for sharing. :)
Aw thanks for responding!!
The steps Ben shared to fall back in love after a relationship has fallen apart are so good. I'm grateful these two shared their love story!
The way their eyes meet....the twinkle, the smile.....they mirror each other very well
these two people are so beautiful to me. their minds, their words, their voices, their eyes, the way they look at each other - they are so, so beautiful.
Gosh, can I just say for the umpteenth time how much I love this couple? They are so real it feels almost unreal just watching them, if I'm making sense here. I hope for them many more blessings to come... really awesome couple.
Sidra is gorgeous.
the intense secret looks they give each other give me life....loving someone daily is not easy but so worth it....i love them
The way they look at each other, you can just feel how connected they are. They are the definition of soul mates
the connection this couple has is just so amazing! you can see it in their eyes and the way they talk to one another
I swear they could be marriage counselors. Love them
1 video, 3 extremely attractive people (yes Hans, you too) . I love everything about Sidra and Ben. Thanks for sharing!
They r deep people
they need to make a movie based off of them...no! a series so we can't have many seasons with as many details possible
The way they communicate with eachother, & the way they look at eachother is just so heartwarming! I honestly have a hard time finding the right words to describe how they make me feel. They are just an amazing couple & they are truly blessed to have eachother & to have this type of love . I love their connection, their undying chemistry.
SO CUTE
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DEDICATED LOVING COUPLE THAT TRULY RESPECTS EACHOTHER
UGH AMAZING IM SO SO SOS OS SOSOOSOSOOOOOO INSPIRED
I feel so close to Sidra and Ben. To me, they are truly inspiring and I love the fact that they met very young and still are together, making their relationship work through the huge pain, without vanishing this enormous love they have for each other.
I met a man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life with and vice versa, the love and connection we have between us is sometimes just unbelievable.
I am twenty years old and scared as fuck of our youth and inexperiences that can screw things up, as I am being constantly told from different sources.
And I know what I'm talking about, my first relationship, filled with love and understanding, failed because I was young, restless and unable to be in this kind of committed relationship anymore.
Sidra and Ben were the first couple that made me fell in love with The Skin Deep. They gave me hope, that every great love can survive even despite youth.
Thank you so much Sidra and Benjamin,
sending love from Czech Republic,
Magdalena
Thank you for sharing your story! What do you think you can learn from them that will help you in your own relationship moving forward?
Sidra really knows Ben's strengths, I'm just as sure Ben knows her strengths. To know each others strengths is probably more important than knowing each other's weaknesses.
This is my favorite couple and their first video changed my life. :D
Thanks for sharing! What about their relationship impacted you?
The Skin Deep I was in a bad relationship and I saw this couple and thought "this is what I want". I never in my life had a role model of what kind of love I wanted. I felt lost and hopeless until I saw their video and realized I found what I wanted and I could then begin searching for it. A few months later I met the love of my life and our relationship feels very much like what I see in their relationship. Now, we make it a tradition to watch the updates of this couple together! :) we never miss an update.
Udoka O That's awesome. I don't know you but I am happy you found what you were searching for.
We got to 700 backers on Kickstarter -it was Miguel :) So as promised, here is your reward! We still have 1 day left to show your support on Kickstarter: theskindeep.com/kickstarter
The Skin Deep I love this! I love the raw and emotion these two people have toward each other! Contact me if you would consider following a couple from Hawai'i!
i absolutely LOVE this couplea chemistry. The way that they can be so playful and are so aligned with 1 another. Its a very rare and beautiful relationship that ao many ppl search their whole lives for.
i wish i had this, nowadays we think that love is something we can find so easy but is not , we can feel desire, passion love is something different that we can't even explain, i love their connection love goes beyond words... if you love someone fight to keep it, there are up and downs in a relationship but i think if you feel special with that person if you feel so unique and complete that's the one. and what a beautiful thing when that feeling is mutual...
:(
So beautifully stated! Thank you for sharing.
they are like a derek shepherd and meredith grey.
im obsessed
Elisha Miyahira yes omg
So true!!
Holy shit yes
I'm a big fan of The And but what i like to watch most is Parents and Kids or Siblings....for some reason these two always melt my heart! (I mean can I rent a place at your place for like 1 month coaching? Lol! *kidding*)
Sidra and Ben...the two of you have created something so magical that will be very healthy for your kids to live around. Keep working at it. All the best! 👍👍👌
Thank you Laura !! We are actually renting out some office space in our loft if you are interested? ;)
Hey guys!
Yaaas..see!! i knew something good wld come out of it (besides me rewatching this a gazillion times) 😆
Now...hopefully i get to sit on one of those little white chairs wen u guys start these interviews in Africa...Love these talks! All the best in the kick starter campaign!!!🙌🙌
The fact that he was able to put aside all their issues and focus on her as a person and make a decision to be with her based on who she is not what happened or how bad the relationship was going is a sign of serious maturity that many people lack. Sometimes when the going gets tough... people back out but to hear him articulate everything was quite beautiful. He saw her rather than the “fights” or whatever!
6:49, that look melts my heart. Ahhh, I love them so much! I feel like I know them :). I'm sure a lot of us do. Really cool to see into their hearts and personalities and lives. Thanks Sidra and Ben! (And Naiya!)
We're incredibly happy you connect with their relationship! What about them did you find the most interesting?
+The Skin Deep Their emotional connection.It's rare for two people to connect emotionally and i think once they do just that,it's a lifelong relationship.
This man, his eyes😍 wow.....I just can't stop myself from staring at him....
YAY!! Sidra and Ben! Where was I one month ago?!? I love this couple so very much. I think my favorite moments are when they are silent and looking into each others eyes. SO much love there! xoxo
The way they look at each other is magical.
The way these two look at each other. How connected they are. Aw man
They are both very astute, lucid, adherent thinkers and speakers. They are so blessed to have found one another and they know that, which is perfect!
I clicked on the video so fast! I know I'm going to love these two videos, they're such a wonderful couple :')
Seriously, I would kill to have that same connection with someone, it's truly amazing.
Thank you for sharing! If you love our content and love this couple's story, please support and share our kickstarter- we have 1 day left! theskindeep.com/kickstarter
That breakdown was stellar 👌🏾
THEY BOTH ARE SO ATTRACTIVE!! HOW ARE 2 PEOPLE SO ATTRACTIVE TOGETHER!!!!??
fav couple of all. The way the look after the answers, the way they listen to each other: You can feel that deep love.
absolutely love it.
I thought there was never an exception for cheating being the worst thing but I will say dropping a relationship of 3.5 years to then be with someone who you marry and stay married to for 12 years, well really comes close.
The way they look at each other and just instantly smile is so beautiful. I love how Ben talked about how he knew he wanted to be with Sidra. That kind of certainty is so important.
I bought this game a few days before a broke up with my boyfriend with a bunch of excitement. I was looking forward of the beautiful enhancement of our connection. I still hope one day we get to play it together.
I'm sorry to hear you felt so uncomfortable in pittsburgh--that's my city and I love it so much!! I'm sure you were exposed to the negative aspects of it but I think it is so beautiful and foresty and there is a growing consciousness about sustainability and activism and art here that is really amazing to be a part of! I hope you visit one day! You have a lovely daughter and I appreciate your love for your family and each other.
The way he looks at her is simply amazing. She is such a great listener
From the last video to this one, I feel like they've grown even more as a couple. So much deeper on all levels. I loved watching this :)
Sidra is so warm and personable. Bet she’s a wonderful friend to have. Shout out to Sidra, Ben and your little fam! 💁🏻
My inside's jitter and my heart skips many beats when watching this couple!!! How can love like this possibly exist? Sometimes I have to look away from the screen because the conversation is so intimate and intense!
This video is what I needed. I am a girl in love. But due to circumstances on both ends of my relationship, it recently just ended. I feel broken, defeated and so worn. But I know that he loves me. I know that what hurt us both the most was the emotional charge on both ends of the spectrum. We are both serious, emotional people who tend to unload on each other. This video has given me the reassurance I needed to know that spending time apart from him is not just unfortunate, but 100% necessary if there is any chance of us rebuilding a relationship. In this time of sadness and devastation, I am able to be okay. Thank you so so much to both the producers of this video and the couple. This topic is not talked about enough. It has brought me so much comfort.
hes every girls dreams , to be able to explain his emotions and feelings so well !!!! I love how open he is
Glad to see yall look better and happier than the second time yall did this.
I love her laugh. And their connection, i can't explain ❤
I want a husband that looks at me and speaks to me just like this. Such love.
They are so beautiful. I love them, their chemistry, their passion. It's so amazing to see. I love it.
oh man.. I love the use of primer and template.
To those calling her a cheat:
She left him ex-partner straight away, she didn't carry on back and forth. You will struggle in love if you are that quick to judge, it's hard when you stay rigid because people are fluid and if you can't bend, you break. You also have to ask yourself how perfect you are, then get in touch with that, because if you don't know your own flaws, it's going to hurt when another person points them out, which is what all good relationships contain. Fundamentally it's a balance and compromise. When you meet someone you feel so strongly about, you'll understand what happened with them that weekend and why they are still together 12 years later.
@c1981 I really like Ben and Sidra, but this is so right. If Sidra did a video with the man she left for Ben, I'm sure the comments would make her the villain. It's just funny the level of (both positive and negative) judgement people feel entitled to on others make based off these short videos.
They're both gorgeous and seem like wonderful people, but the only thing I could focus on unwaveringly during this video were his frickin eyes! They are mesmerizing WOW
their eye contact is so intense that’s how you know forsure they’re comfortable
my favourite The And couple ever!
Thank you Amy !! You still have 1 day left to show your support on Kickstarter: theskindeep.com/kickstarter we are offering a Q&A with Ben and Sidra and their full hour long video as rewards :)
I love to see the changes between the videos. In the first one, they were so funny and easy going and everything felt so "light", and a year later, you could see the change of them being parents now and feeling a different way of responsibility. Somehow, this video showed even a third side of them, but in a way also led back to the first conversation, because all the fun came back. And the only thing that didn't change was the way of them looking at each other. I just love those conversations and the honesty and everything about this concept. It helps me so much to grow in my relationship
I'm only four minutes in and I'm in tears! You could just tell they've been thru soo much yet it made them soo much stronger !
My hubby of 10 years was the one that gave me the confidence to leave of abusive ex. I have a daughter with my ex and I was experiencing battered woman’s syndrome. I thought I wouldn’t be able to raise her or financially unstable but he told me that he would take care of us and that we didn’t need him(that was 9 and half years ago the man doesn’t care for his daughter and left it in my hubbys hands) and still to this day he is here and we love him so much. I thank God for him always
My favorite couple in this series! Keep the updates coming with them if possible :)
We will definitely try! We're at the point in time we're we are re-stragetizing in order to keep the project alive. If you'd like to support us, buy our Card Game which features a lot of the questions you here on our Channel! bit.ly/TheAndCG"
how am i only watching this in 2019? I LOVE IT 😩💕.