Hello dear Emanuel. What if the ex has an avoidant attachment style and i have an anxious attachment style. And non of us was aware of that at that time?
Hello Shahar, Distance is always a good start esp with this attachment styles sind it creates ease. The anxious has to learn why the partner needs more distance and make the decision, wether or not he/she wants to be with the avoidant. Also the anxious has to build and create more self and relationship esteem. Otherwise the combination is always in stress and rarely happy or lasting.
She abuses me and I stand up everytime and make her feel guilty that what she did was wrong but now all of a sudden in this 2years relationship she is saying she don't love me we have no future
I say this as someone who has been where you are... Cut it. Let her leave and adopt the perspective that she's doing you a massive favor. Understand that she's a broken person and that broken people break people. Or, they attract other broken people. Then start looking into your own history, as to how and what you've normalized, to where such a realationship is tolerable. Is it something with your mother, something that started with your first few girlfriends, etc. Is it that you don't think highly of yourself and you thought she was the best you could get, so you wanted to ride out the rollercoaster of BS because you thought you'd always be alone otherwise. Whatever it is, get to the bottom of it and take care of that, in the same way that you can mow the lawn and that incessant weed will always grow back... Or, you can rip it out and never have to deal with it again. In any case, during all of this, I would suggest looking at your health, exercise, adopt goals, try new things, etc... While also seeing a therapist to help with the aforementioned "Weed pulling." During which, I'd go completely radio silent on this woman. She thinks she has some sort of control over you now, hence why you haven't left her. Once you start getting better, she may seek to assert that control once again. She may even try to use sex. Whatever she tries, don't even give her the chance. Not even once. Which is why I say to go "Radio silent" as she may ven try to pull that you were the villain of your relationship, to goad you into an argument. Don't, just don't. Lastly, some advice someone much wiser than myself (Even still), once gave me... "When a woman shows you who she really is, believe her." A woman can SAY that she loves you, or cares a lot about you, but if she's TREATING you like shit, or like you don't matter to her... then it's actually pretty obvious how she truly feels about you. With that in mind, is she and what she offers truly worth sticking around for?
@@AnthonySforza every word is 200% true.thanks man....But now I'm so numb that I can't able to do normal things...I asked her why u did to me.she starts abusing me again . I know that's not normal abusing someone in a serious issue isn't normal, but how can someone be in this bubble that they feel that abusing someone isn't there fault they feel like. what they did was right or I made her to do so. so many time I said I'm leaving but after a while she came and gave me 200 calls a day kept begging me until I take her back. and now doing all of this that I'm the one who ruined this relationship so now she don't love me anymore whereas she is the reason for that
Any questions? I'm happy to answer them here. Good luck!
I really need a session with you as fast as possible even if it’s by cost and today I’m ready
Hello dear Emanuel.
What if the ex has an avoidant attachment style and i have an anxious attachment style. And non of us was aware of that at that time?
Hello Shahar, Distance is always a good start esp with this attachment styles sind it creates ease. The anxious has to learn why the partner needs more distance and make the decision, wether or not he/she wants to be with the avoidant. Also the anxious has to build and create more self and relationship esteem. Otherwise the combination is always in stress and rarely happy or lasting.
@@datedoctoremanuelenglish9729 Understood thanks coach
She abuses me and I stand up everytime and make her feel guilty that what she did was wrong but now all of a sudden in this 2years relationship she is saying she don't love me we have no future
I say this as someone who has been where you are... Cut it. Let her leave and adopt the perspective that she's doing you a massive favor. Understand that she's a broken person and that broken people break people. Or, they attract other broken people.
Then start looking into your own history, as to how and what you've normalized, to where such a realationship is tolerable. Is it something with your mother, something that started with your first few girlfriends, etc. Is it that you don't think highly of yourself and you thought she was the best you could get, so you wanted to ride out the rollercoaster of BS because you thought you'd always be alone otherwise. Whatever it is, get to the bottom of it and take care of that, in the same way that you can mow the lawn and that incessant weed will always grow back... Or, you can rip it out and never have to deal with it again.
In any case, during all of this, I would suggest looking at your health, exercise, adopt goals, try new things, etc... While also seeing a therapist to help with the aforementioned "Weed pulling." During which, I'd go completely radio silent on this woman. She thinks she has some sort of control over you now, hence why you haven't left her. Once you start getting better, she may seek to assert that control once again. She may even try to use sex. Whatever she tries, don't even give her the chance. Not even once. Which is why I say to go "Radio silent" as she may ven try to pull that you were the villain of your relationship, to goad you into an argument. Don't, just don't.
Lastly, some advice someone much wiser than myself (Even still), once gave me... "When a woman shows you who she really is, believe her." A woman can SAY that she loves you, or cares a lot about you, but if she's TREATING you like shit, or like you don't matter to her... then it's actually pretty obvious how she truly feels about you. With that in mind, is she and what she offers truly worth sticking around for?
@@AnthonySforza every word is 200% true.thanks man....But now I'm so numb that I can't able to do normal things...I asked her why u did to me.she starts abusing me again . I know that's not normal abusing someone in a serious issue isn't normal, but how can someone be in this bubble that they feel that abusing someone isn't there fault they feel like. what they did was right or I made her to do so. so many time I said I'm leaving but after a while she came and gave me 200 calls a day kept begging me until I take her back. and now doing all of this that I'm the one who ruined this relationship so now she don't love me anymore whereas she is the reason for that