This Is DEFINITELY Not A Published Reylo Fanfic Novel

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 8 тис.

  • @Dac629
    @Dac629 5 років тому +25159

    That’s no Black Moon. It’s a fan fiction.

    • @lancemannly
      @lancemannly 5 років тому +666

      Hey this is how 50 shades started. Just sayin.
      Tho that's more a criticism of 50 shades than a justification of this fanfic

    • @HE13272326
      @HE13272326 5 років тому +162

      It's to small for a (black) moon...

    • @saranobutt
      @saranobutt 5 років тому +383

      I believe you mean, African-American moon. Please, be politically correct.

    • @Playzon
      @Playzon 5 років тому +246

      Pretty sure Black Moons only rise on Dark (K)nights

    • @henryhammond7393
      @henryhammond7393 5 років тому +57

      It’s too bad to be a fanfic...

  • @scobeymeister1
    @scobeymeister1 5 років тому +4774

    15:17
    "I was wearing black boots, black pants, and a black cape. I was walking outside the Invictus. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of footsoldiers stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them."

    • @TheAbigailDee
      @TheAbigailDee 5 років тому +225

      The most important comment

    • @TheAZElele
      @TheAZElele 5 років тому +97

      This was a reference I didn’t need made!!! 😂😂😂

    • @whywherewhenhow
      @whywherewhenhow 5 років тому +231

      But where is his MCR tshirt ;D

    • @keax3
      @keax3 5 років тому +29

      this is amazing

    • @jebediahhonker-tonker5901
      @jebediahhonker-tonker5901 5 років тому +270

      "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!"
      It was... Obi Wan!

  • @cagetheeternal6482
    @cagetheeternal6482 5 років тому +5900

    the Kylo Ren on her shirt has to read along with every page, and looks appropriately unhappy given the content of the story

    • @nigelft
      @nigelft 4 роки тому +108

      Great ... now I can't unsee that ...

    • @raphmaster23
      @raphmaster23 4 роки тому +127

      He looks like hes seen some shit 🤣

    • @svgstarlight
      @svgstarlight 4 роки тому +83

      CAGEtheETERNAL he’s chilling there on her shirt like 😳

    • @Amsayy
      @Amsayy 4 роки тому +4

      @@ThePhluff I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to mock the rcdart kylo

    • @FelisImpurrator
      @FelisImpurrator 4 роки тому +17

      This needs the inappropriate jokes about Adam Driver segment from Last Week Tonight.
      "Serve my Construct, you raven haired monolith. Read my mind, you beautiful murderer."

  • @Subtle_Shift_In_Emphasis
    @Subtle_Shift_In_Emphasis 5 років тому +6460

    I felt it lacked sufficient references to the physical size of the characters. How is one to know the relative hugeness of the participants?

    • @chrisrankin6796
      @chrisrankin6796 5 років тому +573

      One can assume that the main characters are big

    • @MaxToddUniverse
      @MaxToddUniverse 5 років тому +382

      Jass was disappointingly not big in my vision

    • @classicsubmarineguy5477
      @classicsubmarineguy5477 5 років тому +135

      in the OT and the sequels one always knew exactly how big each of the death stars were relative to us and to each other, and we could get a good sense of the bigness of the empire and the dark side from it. Star wars is a big property with a lot of big lore and this tiny person should honour it.

    • @ala4935
      @ala4935 5 років тому +48

      Firstname Lastname but they are certainly *dark*

    • @EricTheRed4143
      @EricTheRed4143 5 років тому +115

      I think it's fair to assume that Jass is a bear of a man

  • @finleyvail7468
    @finleyvail7468 Рік тому +826

    "I have no words to describe him" is the best way to kick off an entire paragraph describing him

    • @mastermarkus5307
      @mastermarkus5307 10 місяців тому +52

      I feel as though the intention was meant to be like "no description can do him justice", but that sure isn't what was written!

    • @MrJibbajabbawocky
      @MrJibbajabbawocky 5 місяців тому +21

      HP Lovecraft lives and is writing Reylo slashfic.

  • @zombi3girl
    @zombi3girl 4 роки тому +10538

    “Jass Baylar” sounds like something my sim would say to another sim during a fight

    • @Lucifersfursona
      @Lucifersfursona 3 роки тому +158

      I’m

    • @chewychibi03
      @chewychibi03 3 роки тому +80

      Lmfaoo

    • @moonfestal
      @moonfestal 3 роки тому +340

      This is so oddly specific and yet so accurate

    • @SoapyTurtles
      @SoapyTurtles 3 роки тому +71

      This comment had me rolling lmfaaaooo

    • @joshuayung5158
      @joshuayung5158 3 роки тому +166

      I imagined a small pixelated human screaming "JASS BAYLAR" as a warcry and laughed so hard I cried.

  • @lostintechnicolor
    @lostintechnicolor 5 років тому +6402

    Surprised his name wasn’t Kyle Loren.

  • @AllieTellsJokes
    @AllieTellsJokes 5 років тому +3865

    There's a lot of competition but "the planet has no gravity whatsoever" has to be the wildest line from this incredibly wild book

    • @thefatheroflies7921
      @thefatheroflies7921 5 років тому +199

      I actually yelled "wat." That's the least believable part.

    • @tahunuva4254
      @tahunuva4254 5 років тому +81

      I think he misspelled book as planet.

    • @fukyomammason
      @fukyomammason 5 років тому +207

      Even if it was physically possible, just trying to imagine how that would work hurts me.

    • @WontonTV
      @WontonTV 5 років тому +267

      @@fukyomammason Obviously, the planet is spinning so fast that the centrifugal force counteracts the force of gravity and the net result at the surface is 0 g's.
      How anything would stay on the surface in that scenario is beyond me.

    • @alanatorres4335
      @alanatorres4335 5 років тому +138

      You know, I didn't think it sounded THAT bad... but then I thought about it... how tf is it even a planet if it doesn't have gravity????

  • @DiscoGoesOn5067
    @DiscoGoesOn5067 2 роки тому +2714

    "He was a darker scarier moon, and she was a good moon."
    Can I make it anymore obvious?

    • @henryapplebottom7231
      @henryapplebottom7231 Рік тому +55

      Hero rock, villain rock.
      (Gets rid of any moon symbolism and simplifies the dark/light concept.)

    • @Aisubun
      @Aisubun Рік тому +63

      He was evil, she was hero

    • @emilylike-the-soup2502
      @emilylike-the-soup2502 Рік тому +114

      She was an ocean clouded with clay
      What more can I say?

    • @Lolo50000
      @Lolo50000 10 місяців тому +57

      He wanted her, she'd never tell
      Secretly she was from Earth as well

    • @NubKnup
      @NubKnup 10 місяців тому +44

      All the Pirians stuck up their nose
      They had a problem with his Construct robes

  • @JomasterTheSecond
    @JomasterTheSecond 4 роки тому +8118

    I hate sand metaphors. They're coarse and rough and irritating... and they get everywhere.

    • @shinget
      @shinget 4 роки тому +226

      dammit why is this gag never not funny?

    • @IncredibleMD
      @IncredibleMD 4 роки тому +85

      It's still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the lens metaphor.

    • @FlatOnHisFace
      @FlatOnHisFace 4 роки тому +192

      Sand metaphors rarely make sense, at first. But then, like a bolt of lightning, suddenly, you can see it clearly.

    • @Floris_VI
      @Floris_VI 4 роки тому +7

      I love your androidify avatar though😂

    • @silentype3008
      @silentype3008 4 роки тому +30

      Life's a beach.

  • @ameliamurray9781
    @ameliamurray9781 5 років тому +4709

    "A black polished lens we can neither see through nor around''.
    Well, there's your problem. You left the lens cap on.

    • @haggisa
      @haggisa 5 років тому +16

      Amelia Murray Ehehehehe!

    • @morganrobinson8042
      @morganrobinson8042 5 років тому +33

      If no light, nor any other electromagnetism passes though it, how exactly is it a lens?

    • @BritneyLaZonga
      @BritneyLaZonga 5 років тому +70

      It is a gravitation lense. A force field. Bundeling ... force. Bending it, sucking it in. Into a singularity. A dark hole.a black hole. Who is also a moon. A black hole sun. Moon. That is also rising. And bending, swallowing light while blocking it completely.

    • @reizak8966
      @reizak8966 5 років тому +7

      I just choked. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @darth_dan8886
      @darth_dan8886 4 роки тому +1

      @@morganrobinson8042 How do you know? Maybe it's a lens in far infrared)

  • @dishpitfreak
    @dishpitfreak 5 років тому +6520

    “He was wearing black boots, black pants, and a black cape.” Are... are you implying that he *wasn’t wearing a shirt?*

    • @fukyomammason
      @fukyomammason 5 років тому +424

      Samson Capes > shirts

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 5 років тому +177

      Who needs shirts?

    • @stephenmarco2927
      @stephenmarco2927 5 років тому +230

      Dante agrees. Who needs a shirt when you can just wear a cape?

    • @deffdefying4803
      @deffdefying4803 5 років тому +713

      Given that pants in the UK means what you call underpants, to me it sounded like he was literally just in his boxers, with a pair of boots and a cape to match.

    • @babahu15
      @babahu15 5 років тому +291

      "And the preps started at him."

  • @ethanclark85
    @ethanclark85 2 роки тому +4130

    Imagine the author wrote the story a long time ago and then was watching the Force Awakens tearfully saying “Now no one will believe my story is original”

    • @infjelphabasupporter8416
      @infjelphabasupporter8416 2 роки тому +564

      Those kind of things sound unrealistic but they actually happen. I once had an idea I deemed pretty original for a book, wrote down the outline, and after deciding on the title googled it to see if it was taken. *Not only the title was taken, the entire main twist/theme of the book was* . It was a bestseller I had never heard about. That was... A both encouraging and sad moment.

    • @mythandmayhem1134
      @mythandmayhem1134 2 роки тому +200

      @Ethan Clark
      The Force Awakens is Black Moon Rising fanfic…?

    • @lunalovegood8931
      @lunalovegood8931 2 роки тому +11

      Now I’m curious- what was the book called?

    • @amityislandchum
      @amityislandchum Рік тому +269

      @@infjelphabasupporter8416 Something similar happened to me. I've always been a HUGE fan of horror, and it doesn't take long to notice that different cultures each have their own "standard" horror tropes. The hot teens getting hacked up in the US, the violent-death-spirit seeking revenge in Japan, the battle against nature representing inner human struggles in the UK, etc. I ended up writing a story outline based on this idea, with each trope being orchestrated by government groups pushing cultural morality lessons. I planned to expand it into a full novel. A couple years later... Cabin in the Woods came out. :(

    • @mr.b89
      @mr.b89 Рік тому +50

      @@amityislandchum that had to hurt

  • @jasmine-ruff-puff9951
    @jasmine-ruff-puff9951 5 років тому +3892

    The name's Jass.
    Hugh Jass.

  • @AmandaDavis6130
    @AmandaDavis6130 5 років тому +4932

    "She knew she was going to die in six days and she hasn't already written her letters?" Look man, sometimes you just procrastinate until suddenly the deadline is staring you in the face.

    • @joey1723
      @joey1723 4 роки тому +175

      Did that cut to close to home? It did for me! I feel called out!

    • @thewolfofthestars1847
      @thewolfofthestars1847 4 роки тому +60

      *ba dum tsh*

    • @Chugargonfan
      @Chugargonfan 4 роки тому +91

      Deadline

    • @yourpalfred
      @yourpalfred 4 роки тому +22

      Relateable

    • @blokey8
      @blokey8 4 роки тому +26

      I mean, canon Leia basically did the same.

  • @diefty94
    @diefty94 4 роки тому +5363

    Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagiarism the wise?

    • @connorcanagon4955
      @connorcanagon4955 4 роки тому +79

      This comment deserves way more attention

    • @alisaurus4224
      @alisaurus4224 4 роки тому +63

      *unseemly cackling*

    • @sarcomeresarecool
      @sarcomeresarecool 4 роки тому +145

      It's not a story Disney would tell you...

    • @Howlingd0g
      @Howlingd0g 4 роки тому +77

      He was so gifted he could plagiarise the midichlorians to create... fanfiction.

    • @Howlingd0g
      @Howlingd0g 4 роки тому +26

      @Dimetime35c Not from a Jenny...
      ... uh, Nicholson.

  • @user-kv7pr7xs6k
    @user-kv7pr7xs6k 2 роки тому +791

    It's positively thrilling to know that Nebraska is cannon in the Black Moon Rising universe

  • @kaciecox2687
    @kaciecox2687 5 років тому +3889

    I like how the author just added -za to Rey and called it a day.

  • @SarahZ
    @SarahZ 5 років тому +17424

    Maybe the real Reylo was the quasi-illegal quasi-fanfiction we made along the way

    • @bencebotye3904
      @bencebotye3904 5 років тому +76

      Yeah the Twitter ordered something what we may don't need it...

    • @MaleTears
      @MaleTears 5 років тому +291

      It's Sarah Z! The cross over breaks new barriers.

    • @agentstache135
      @agentstache135 5 років тому +318

      No, the real Reylo was inside our seer-proof minds all along, we just forgot about it every time we woke up, but then remembered it and the fact that we forget it when we wake up whenever we went to sleep again

    • @imbuffysummers
      @imbuffysummers 5 років тому +46

      Sarah Z! I was just thinking about how you and Jenny are my favorites when I saw the notification she uploaded so it’s nice to see you here 😍

    • @YumLemmingKebabs
      @YumLemmingKebabs 5 років тому +37

      Believe in the power of shipship.

  • @syntheticat-3
    @syntheticat-3 5 років тому +3420

    This can't _possibly_ be a Star Wars fanfic what with all the sand. Anakin simply wouldn't allow it

    • @rx500android
      @rx500android 5 років тому +51

      Underrated comment

    • @6OceanSoul9
      @6OceanSoul9 5 років тому +14

      AHAHAHAHAHAH

    • @kevincrady2831
      @kevincrady2831 5 років тому +35

      @Dojo Daniel🎑 And in a book that starts with a gratuitous sex scene as its establishing shot...that's got to be a *very* bad thing!

    • @GothMusicLatinAmerica
      @GothMusicLatinAmerica 5 років тому +29

      That's why his force ghost never shows up

    • @syntheticat-3
      @syntheticat-3 5 років тому +3

      It's GOTTA be

  • @peterg1664
    @peterg1664 2 роки тому +2812

    You are like a lens, a lens made of dough and mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce that has been baked in the oven and can’t be seen through.

    • @Misora7303
      @Misora7303 2 роки тому +111

      A translucid Pizza, if you will

    • @Halo_Legend
      @Halo_Legend 2 роки тому +21

      @@Misora7303 Translucent

    • @noalowenstein6741
      @noalowenstein6741 Рік тому +96

      THAT'S AMOREEEEEEEEE

    • @Keychain696
      @Keychain696 Рік тому +47

      You are like a lens that a 16-year-old, zit-faced, teenage boy who just learned to drive three months ago would deliver to your house in thirty minutes or less. A Domino's lens, if you will... or perhaps a Little Ceaser's lens

    • @seguaye
      @seguaye Рік тому +26

      @@noalowenstein6741oh my god is the lyric? how did i never put that together. I thought it was “that’s a moray” as in the eel. i’m such a dumbass

  • @morgan32
    @morgan32 5 років тому +1697

    I love how the Kylo on her shirt has to stare right into the book and he looks so confused about it.

    • @lim3400
      @lim3400 5 років тому +122

      Morgan B. I love how he looks so dead-eyed like “pls stop”, like even he can’t stand what she’s reading.

    • @lllazyoli
      @lllazyoli 5 років тому +19

      he looks a bit like kim jong-un.

    • @a.morphous66
      @a.morphous66 5 років тому +43

      Shirt Kylo’s chin didn’t want to watch so it just left.

    • @professorRadify
      @professorRadify 5 років тому +3

      HAHAHA!

    • @linasayshush
      @linasayshush 5 років тому +5

      Now I can't pay attention to the video!

  • @OpticalJesu5
    @OpticalJesu5 5 років тому +3040

    We are edging closer to Jenny being an audiobook reader with the specific clause that it must be horrible.

    • @jadeallisonhollingsworth
      @jadeallisonhollingsworth 5 років тому +248

      And whenever she gets to particularly horrible parts, she gets to go, "WhAt????" in a shocked and confused tone.

    • @secretname3897
      @secretname3897 5 років тому +259

      "We've found someone to voice your audio book!"
      "Oh, awesome, who is it?"
      "Jenny Nicholsen!"
      "........oh............"

    • @larurentius
      @larurentius 5 років тому +90

      This is what I want from audible, jenny mst3k-ing badly written books.

    • @yusufkadar
      @yusufkadar 5 років тому +16

      In a perfect world, maybe

    • @yourwaifuisdisappointed
      @yourwaifuisdisappointed 5 років тому +9

      Please, yes.

  • @camicrimin4901
    @camicrimin4901 5 років тому +1338

    “You owe me Kylo. Only you can make this world right. Only you can make the darkness bright.” - Rey at some point probably

    • @JennyNicholson
      @JennyNicholson  5 років тому +354

      Kylo Adkins

    • @trulyamateuranxiety
      @trulyamateuranxiety 5 років тому +30

      Cami Crimin this sent me into a coughing fit thank you

    • @WingItMan217
      @WingItMan217 5 років тому +55

      I’m pretty sure Rey isn’t invited to the first order bbq anymore

    • @thomasjenkins7506
      @thomasjenkins7506 5 років тому +47

      @@JennyNicholson yeah, but is rey an attractive, unattractive woman who has never been complimented before?

    • @TheDrLeviathan
      @TheDrLeviathan 5 років тому +19

      "Kylo... won't you ride my sleigh tonight?"

  • @graceful1277
    @graceful1277 2 роки тому +1258

    “Ok, this is NOT what the force is for you guys” is such a funny line omg

    • @slimbo3774
      @slimbo3774 2 роки тому +33

      I scream-laughed when that line dropped

    • @biancachristie
      @biancachristie Рік тому +8

      yeah, that was gold. Also, why not tho

  • @bogunicorn
    @bogunicorn 5 років тому +4873

    My buddy saw Jass in the shower once. He said Jass had a six pack, that Jass was shredded.

    • @YTRingoster
      @YTRingoster 5 років тому +157

      Was his first name Hugh?

    • @floptimus6633
      @floptimus6633 5 років тому +171

      @@YTRingoster The names Hubert Jass, but my friends call me Hugh.

    • @Radien
      @Radien 5 років тому +90

      Nahh, Jass totally has an eight pack.

    • @smartbunny
      @smartbunny 5 років тому +101

      That Matt guy SUCKS.

    • @chrysosodes
      @chrysosodes 5 років тому +12

      i was looking for this comment 😂

  • @dreamof_me
    @dreamof_me 5 років тому +2150

    Actually the actual original author of this fic is Kylo Ren

    • @amaliaandrone6585
      @amaliaandrone6585 4 роки тому +171

      Omg I DIED laughing, just imagining him writing in his journal about his crush, priceless

    • @elisinwonderland1306
      @elisinwonderland1306 4 роки тому +222

      "Dear diary, today Hux was mean to me and I Force choked him ... maybe I should try that with Rey the next time we meet"
      "Dear diary, a sad update, I tried to Force choke Rey and she beat the crap out of me with her lightsaber and now she won't talk to me"

    • @obscure.reference
      @obscure.reference 4 роки тому +11

      what like, the real kyle ren?

    • @sanityplusmilkshakes
      @sanityplusmilkshakes 4 роки тому +124

      I can picture the first draft:
      -Rey is renamed Bae
      -Poe is renamed Hoe
      -Kylo Ren becomes Coolguy Rad

    • @_gremlinboy
      @_gremlinboy 4 роки тому +73

      "jass is a very pretty boy and reyza thinks about his every individual feature's attractiveness repeatedly, because he is just so beautiful" "everyone is very mean to jass and it's very unfair but he's so cool and macho about it and nothing is his fault and it's all very sexy of him" yeah I can see it

  • @blitzkriegdragon013
    @blitzkriegdragon013 4 роки тому +8208

    Reza is a common Persian boy's name. So as you read the story, I just imagine my uncle doing all this shit.

    • @jumbo4billion
      @jumbo4billion 4 роки тому +634

      Must feel strange picturing your uncle like this

    • @peccatrix
      @peccatrix 4 роки тому +664

      you have no idea how much joy this has given me in such a trying time hnjgj

    • @persephone2706
      @persephone2706 4 роки тому +422

      Ahahah. I'm picturing some plain looking man hanging off of Kylo Ren. Sksksnsdhe.

    • @Spottedleaf14
      @Spottedleaf14 4 роки тому +223

      Frankie Rose says gay rights

    • @clickhere2d1e
      @clickhere2d1e 4 роки тому +616

      I would KILL to see the Star Wars sequels, but a middle aged Persian man replaces Daisy Ridley as Rey halfway through the trilogy. They don't acknowledge it. They keep the script entirely the same. There's still this weird sexual tension forced between the two of them. Disney just Aunt Vivs the character of Rey with your uncle.

  • @CC-ce8md
    @CC-ce8md 2 роки тому +889

    Tbh Jenny has done more for my fanfic writing than anyone else has. I read my writing back in her confused and slightly mocking tone and if I die of embarrassment, I change it. Also make sure never to end a sentence with comma though. It helps

    • @neveerland
      @neveerland 2 роки тому +40

      how does one end a sentence with a comma???

    • @ZMacGregor
      @ZMacGregor 2 роки тому +104

      @@neveerland it takes dedication

    • @neveerland
      @neveerland 2 роки тому +5

      @@ZMacGregor BAHAHHAHA

    • @CC-ce8md
      @CC-ce8md 2 роки тому +15

      @@neveerland meant like blah blah blah", though"

    • @bookshelfhoney
      @bookshelfhoney Рік тому +56

      You can end a sentence with a comma, though. Just don't have all the characters do it all the time, though.

  • @TigerBears11
    @TigerBears11 5 років тому +8780

    Plot twist: This book is just one of those journals that Jenny mentioned, and everything she read is her own fanfic.

  • @MsDefectiveToaster
    @MsDefectiveToaster 4 роки тому +5617

    Addicted to the Light is gonna be the name of my Christian rock album

  • @fjLKA
    @fjLKA 5 років тому +769

    This book is like a black lens that cannot be seen through. It is like a moon shadow that falls on the ocean, but is hidden from view when there is a whirlpool of power that explodes out from the galaxy to eclipse my Light.

    • @rekindle7602
      @rekindle7602 5 років тому +8

      I wish I could like this more than once

    • @fjLKA
      @fjLKA 5 років тому +31

      @@rekindle7602 Wow, I haven't gotten so many likes in at least seven cycles. It makes me want to take my own life in pride.

  • @meggnoggs
    @meggnoggs 3 роки тому +2896

    Okay this book deserves to be made fun of but the author imagining an emotional, detailed climactic scene and then patching together a story to drop it into is Absolutely Valid

    • @shepherdaaron9683
      @shepherdaaron9683 3 роки тому +189

      It’s definitely more valid than the real Star Wars movies we got

    • @appalachiabrauchfrau
      @appalachiabrauchfrau 3 роки тому +340

      I edit self published romance and feel like a lot of the people commenting don't know the real dark underbelly of the names-changed totally *not* fanfiction genre. It gets so, so much worse.

    • @jewishkidney
      @jewishkidney 3 роки тому +22

      @@appalachiabrauchfrau do tell =D

    • @xxgirl101xx
      @xxgirl101xx 3 роки тому +10

      Hey can’t say I haven’t done the same ;)
      (Though never published it)

    • @NotAMuse
      @NotAMuse 2 роки тому +107

      Omg yes, I was like… 50% into this other book when I realized that I was reading an Inuyasha fanfic and the first letter of every name of the main set of characters were the same. The main character’s name was K-something, male lead was I-something, she meets M, S, and S’s cat like friend named K-something. Her brother is S-something going to school where he meets K-something.
      My mind was blown and I felt so duped!

  • @theleagueofsupermushrooms5323
    @theleagueofsupermushrooms5323 5 років тому +4357

    "A buddy of mine saw Jas Baylar take his shirt of in the shower and he said Jas Baylar had an eight pack, that Jas Baylar is shredded" - Mark, the radar engineer

    • @lemonmart7793
      @lemonmart7793 5 років тому +261

      I haven’t had my MUFFIN YET MARK

    • @martiqueheisler5959
      @martiqueheisler5959 5 років тому +247

      "Your friend's a liar man, Jas Baylar is a punk b****. I'll bet he weighs 30 pounds soaking wet!"

    • @drankydrank1
      @drankydrank1 5 років тому +20

      @@martiqueheisler5959 LOL thank you from saving me the time looking it up

    • @martiqueheisler5959
      @martiqueheisler5959 5 років тому +3

      @@drankydrank1 lol no problem

    • @SamAronow
      @SamAronow 5 років тому +17

      It was written by Jar-Jar.

  • @eadlynjune
    @eadlynjune 5 років тому +2933

    Regis: I need answers! Why are we losing all these soldiers!
    Soldier: Ummm, puberty sir. Reyza got her period and started to notice the cracks in our totalitarian regime.

    • @ashesanddiamonds2692
      @ashesanddiamonds2692 5 років тому +388

      I think it is known as getting on her bloodhorse in this universe.

    • @morley364
      @morley364 5 років тому +512

      I too begin to indulge in thoughts of anarchy when the cramps hit

    • @DoveAlexa
      @DoveAlexa 5 років тому +53

      So it must be the mirrorverse, since in ours puberty sends people towards totalitarianism.

    • @MsCassidy23
      @MsCassidy23 5 років тому +86

      Wouldn't it be interesting if women could force choke when on their period?

    • @stanj85
      @stanj85 5 років тому +28

      @@MsCassidy23 So many dead boyfriends... As far as the eye can see...

  • @haggisa
    @haggisa 5 років тому +644

    “They didn’t just bring the big guns...they brought out the biggest.”
    I’m glad Jake got a much deserved cameo in this masterpiece.

    • @Neseine
      @Neseine 5 років тому +27

      And I'm glad that you thought of that

    • @alextheglitch1101
      @alextheglitch1101 5 років тому +44

      He was a big man

  • @augusthuffle3043
    @augusthuffle3043 3 роки тому +675

    I don’t think we talk enough about “4 cycles older than me in his body, but light cycles older than me in his mind” there’s so much going on here

    • @alisaurus4224
      @alisaurus4224 2 роки тому +78

      “Light cycles” instantly makes me think TRON

    • @aud7593
      @aud7593 2 роки тому +133

      if cycles = years, then light cycles = light years, but isn't that a distance measurement??

    • @iwakeupandboomimarat
      @iwakeupandboomimarat Рік тому +209

      @@aud7593 hes just very far away mentally

    • @Stibbian
      @Stibbian Рік тому +86

      @@iwakeupandboomimarat a distant personality

    • @paddyq3235
      @paddyq3235 Рік тому +106

      ​@@iwakeupandboomimarat she really said, "no thoughts, head empty"

  • @joeschmoe9863
    @joeschmoe9863 5 років тому +4156

    The year is 2051. An elderly Jenny rants for 54 hours straight in a video about the Earl of Sandwich in downtown Disney. All is right in the world

    • @lord_of_the_flies_6429
      @lord_of_the_flies_6429 5 років тому +324

      At this point in time, Disney has taken over most of North America. She speaks from the capitol of Disneyland, which spans over what was once the western part of the United States and Canada.
      Jenny warned them.

    • @ShaunCheah
      @ShaunCheah 5 років тому +363

      Bold of you to assume Jenny can age.

    • @sand4273
      @sand4273 5 років тому +30

      Hey...
      I like that place.

    • @dopecarmilla
      @dopecarmilla 5 років тому +51

      What a comforting comment. Thank you.

    • @mathieuleader8601
      @mathieuleader8601 5 років тому +6

      ahh the disney classic No Such thing as a free lunch

  • @nathankonrad4059
    @nathankonrad4059 5 років тому +2797

    "It was like any other day until it wasn't", one of fiction's most iconic and thought provoking lines

    • @Yoyoitsyoji
      @Yoyoitsyoji 5 років тому +244

      “Quoth the Raven, nevermore.” -The Raven
      “It was a dark and stormy night.” -Everything
      “Lolita, light of my fire, fire of my loins.” -Lolita
      “I loved big brother.” - 1984
      “Not all that glitters is gold, and not all who wander are lost” -Lord of the Rings
      “Now what the hell ya suppose is eating those guys?” - Of Mice and Men
      “That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.” - Catcher in the Rye
      “It was like any other day, until it wasn’t.” - A Reylo fanfic

    • @handsomebrick
      @handsomebrick 5 років тому +7

      Get Edward Bulwer-Lytton on the line.

    • @TheDrLeviathan
      @TheDrLeviathan 5 років тому +12

      If a John Dies in the End book started like that it would work

    • @WarKeineAbsicht
      @WarKeineAbsicht 5 років тому +19

      It’s embarrassing, but honestly, I kind of like it.

    • @jackjones4248
      @jackjones4248 5 років тому +42

      @@Yoyoitsyoji "so what are we, some kind of Dance to the Music of Time?"

  • @thecrystaltide3757
    @thecrystaltide3757 2 роки тому +348

    21:07 "Jas is a fish, and Reza is a lens"
    and together, they're a fisheye lens 😯

  • @purplepotato3004
    @purplepotato3004 5 років тому +741

    The distorted face of Kylo Ren on your t shirt is an apt reaction to that book.

    • @z3iro383
      @z3iro383 5 років тому +65

      Forcing him to watch

    • @Nicolesid1
      @Nicolesid1 5 років тому +15

      I thought the same thing

    • @Qrtuop
      @Qrtuop 5 років тому +17

      I am crying

  • @spiltmilk9944
    @spiltmilk9944 4 роки тому +4139

    How can I truly enjoy this novel if I don't get constant detailed descriptions of what the characters have eaten and what kingdom hearts song they are listening to?

    • @renge5589
      @renge5589 4 роки тому +47

      True that.

    • @allisonfields3108
      @allisonfields3108 4 роки тому +14

      😂

    • @thethetheo
      @thethetheo 4 роки тому +390

      I'm really confused because I don't know how BIG anyone is

    • @erincarr9411
      @erincarr9411 4 роки тому +80

      I also need about 3 pages of explanation of each ship and each home, and dune field.

    • @JackedThor-so
      @JackedThor-so 4 роки тому +19

      Good callback! 📞

  • @ema19899
    @ema19899 5 років тому +678

    Damn idk how I feel about episode 9 :/

    • @Egzvorg
      @Egzvorg 5 років тому +28

      Disnay is so lazy they can't even pull of a full 2 hour runtime smh...

  • @gammawolf3
    @gammawolf3 Рік тому +456

    Wait, so Raza escaped the construct when she was 18 and lived on Pirius for 7 years which makes her 25 as of the events of the book. Jaz is four years older than her which would make him… 29. I guess he suffers from major baby face syndrome considering how often he’s called ‘boy’ and ‘teenager’.
    Also I love how often his hair is described as “flowing all over the place”, makes me picture him as like a black haired Rapunzel

    • @GrndAdmiralThrawn
      @GrndAdmiralThrawn Рік тому

      The porn definition of “teen”

    • @rafiazad2271
      @rafiazad2271 Рік тому

      It does say that Raza escaped the brainwashing because she went through puberty, so if Jas never did, it implies he didn't go through puberty.

    • @zubetp
      @zubetp 10 місяців тому +4

      it made me think of sam bankman fried

    • @ObiJohnKenobi67
      @ObiJohnKenobi67 9 місяців тому +17

      Tbf Kylo Ren is supposed to be that same age in the sequel trilogy and he’s still called boy.

    • @tobyh801
      @tobyh801 4 місяці тому +3

      Yeah my husband is 28 and is regularly mistaken for a young high schooler

  • @classicplastic3609
    @classicplastic3609 5 років тому +524

    I'm fairly disappointed that we were not informed of Jass and Rei-za's bigness relative to the other characters.

    • @amelia5178
      @amelia5178 5 років тому +44

      ClassicPlastic my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

  • @lu-vu3xk
    @lu-vu3xk 5 років тому +3637

    the thing about Reysa having to seduce the bad guy reminds me of that bit in My Immortal where Ebony had to go back in time and seduce young Voldemort to prevent him from turning evil

    • @WingItMan217
      @WingItMan217 5 років тому +202

      Hannah Avila Oh yes. That happened in the fanfic

    • @arincooper9687
      @arincooper9687 5 років тому +215

      young voldemort, also known as satan

    • @PuppyLove2468
      @PuppyLove2468 5 років тому +83

      I've been planning on reading that, just because it's so infamous

    • @larkito3279
      @larkito3279 5 років тому +140

      My Immortal is a literature masterpiece

    • @Zaftique
      @Zaftique 5 років тому +33

      @@larkito3279 There are a few sentences in it that land me in the "elaborate prank" camp of author conspiracy theories. No one as purportedly feebleminded as the author appears to be could have the literary chops for some of the exquisitely obscure references in there.

  • @CupOfCozy
    @CupOfCozy 5 років тому +528

    "Other people aren't special simply because they aren't special - you're special simply because you are"
    I'm surprised Brad Bird couldn't think of a better pen name than "Frankie Rose"

  • @itsjustme6334
    @itsjustme6334 3 роки тому +698

    You are like a lense cap, one that is often stuck but sometimes falls off completely by itself, a mystery to us all.

  • @obrien92
    @obrien92 5 років тому +5458

    “I’m a bad guy, Reyza, I do bad things”
    The most beautiful dialogue ever written

    • @mollysimpson2335
      @mollysimpson2335 5 років тому +584

      That sounds like something jughead or edward cullen would say 😂

    • @obrien92
      @obrien92 5 років тому +345

      Molly Simpson That IS something Jughead and Edward have said bahaha

    • @presidenttheo565
      @presidenttheo565 5 років тому +629

      "I'm bad. I'm a bad guy. I don't 'do good things' and I don't want to 'do good things'. Have you ever seen me without this thick, dark, wavy hair? That's bad."

    • @AnimeNPC.
      @AnimeNPC. 5 років тому +193

      I perfer "It was a day like any other , until it wasnt."

    • @dr-skelebones
      @dr-skelebones 5 років тому +216

      Getting some 50 Shades vibes from that line. "I'm 50 shades of fucked up, Reyza. Er, Anastasia."

  • @neosaneo2
    @neosaneo2 5 років тому +533

    "don't leave a bad review for a book you haven't even read" - jenny's spitting facts at the end there.

  • @99lodewijk
    @99lodewijk 5 років тому +832

    I hope in episode IX Poe Dameron comes on screen announcing Leia's off-screen death by ceremonial blade. 'she died earlier than expected but she left us two strongly worded CliffNotes'

    • @elizabethashley42
      @elizabethashley42 5 років тому +28

      I can't stop laughing. Why can't I thumbs up a comment more than once?

    • @99lodewijk
      @99lodewijk 5 років тому +2

      @@elizabethashley42 I'm going to edit the comment to reflect my further understanding of the video, just so you know

    • @99lodewijk
      @99lodewijk 5 років тому

      @@elizabethashley42 please do give feedback if I should either use this or the earlier postits

    • @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks
      @IsaacMayerCreativeWorks 5 років тому +54

      I don’t know why but I feel like this is exactly what Carrie Fisher would have wanted

    • @cofkavos
      @cofkavos 5 років тому

      @@99lodewijk What was the earlier post?

  • @Bonklyboi
    @Bonklyboi 2 роки тому +260

    Seers on a desert planet? That's a cool idea. Bet you could make a whole book series with something like that. Someone should do that.

    • @lxjoe96
      @lxjoe96 Рік тому +30

      Desert planets need department stores too

    • @Bonklyboi
      @Bonklyboi Рік тому +6

      @@lxjoe96 dammit

    • @kajamiletic3223
      @kajamiletic3223 Рік тому +82

      A cool thing you could add to spice up your story is some kind of badass dangerous local animal. like a giant worm or something...

    • @paddyq3235
      @paddyq3235 Рік тому +32

      ​@@kajamiletic3223 lol "spice up"

  • @Sam_T2000
    @Sam_T2000 5 років тому +4671

    *PLOT TWIST:*
    the book is just another blank journal,
    and she's making this up on the spot...

    • @crimson5719
      @crimson5719 5 років тому +25

      Sam T Nice copied comment, man

    • @darth_dan8886
      @darth_dan8886 4 роки тому +20

      How the hell is she making up the typos then? XD

    • @mam4174
      @mam4174 4 роки тому +20

      A really thick journal then

    • @MrAdryan1603
      @MrAdryan1603 4 роки тому +69

      @@darth_dan8886 She's just that good.

    • @Mayakran
      @Mayakran 4 роки тому +44

      It’s a journal and she’s sharing her own Reylo fic ;)

  • @poisondamage2182
    @poisondamage2182 5 років тому +477

    "I have no words to describe him."
    proceeds to use words to describe him

    • @iggykidd
      @iggykidd 4 роки тому +2

      Poison Damage I mean, the implication that they were just not going to describe something they’re talking about in prose is pretty bad too

  • @ninarose4450
    @ninarose4450 4 роки тому +1478

    This was a warning not a fanfic

    • @bella-tt9hk
      @bella-tt9hk 4 роки тому +114

      and we were fools for taking it as a joke! fools!

    • @blokey8
      @blokey8 4 роки тому +54

      There are a few worrying parallels in how the relationship is handled. They're slight, but they're there. Also Leia seemingly knowing she's going to die and doing... marginally more to prepare one person for it.

    • @Blueeyesthewarrior
      @Blueeyesthewarrior 3 роки тому +16

      Both Jas and Reyza being from Earth has the exact same energy as Rey Palpatine.

  • @sillyd0g
    @sillyd0g 3 роки тому +657

    my favorite part of this is that even though reza and jass are obviously just rey and kylo, they're also simultaneously both finn because the author didn't want to put a finn character into her story

    • @henryapplebottom7231
      @henryapplebottom7231 Рік тому +174

      I wonder what makes Finn different as a character so they wouldn't wish to include him...
      Hmmm
      I can think of nothing.

    • @jojbenedoot7459
      @jojbenedoot7459 Рік тому +68

      ​@@henryapplebottom7231he was too interesting and thus didn't fit neatly into a reylo romance fic lol

    • @janjanbinks1710
      @janjanbinks1710 Рік тому +86

      @@jojbenedoot7459 He's a much healthier love interest for both Rey and Reza so they had to axe him lmao

    • @Souzu21
      @Souzu21 9 місяців тому +43

      @@janjanbinks1710 And a healthier love interest for Poe/Cole Pakka. And Kylo Ren/Jass Beylar.
      And.. pretty much any other character in the stories. Finn was a solid dude.

    • @janjanbinks1710
      @janjanbinks1710 9 місяців тому +44

      @@Souzu21 He's just too good for any of these people. My boy deserves a break

  • @oyasumiihi
    @oyasumiihi 5 років тому +1740

    Not enough descriptions of characters being BIG. 0/10.

    • @Cheyne_TetraMFG
      @Cheyne_TetraMFG 5 років тому +103

      abbie Jas Baylar is “good-sized”

    • @Kthxbyer
      @Kthxbyer 5 років тому +85

      It’s true, I have no idea of Jass’s relative bigness to the other characters...how am I supposed to find him attractive!?!

    • @sebschimeck1273
      @sebschimeck1273 5 років тому +22

      You two careful, he is a big

    • @SomeBlokeOrWhatever
      @SomeBlokeOrWhatever 4 роки тому +5

      Mr. Speaker, we are for the big.

    • @Hitsugayafan12
      @Hitsugayafan12 3 роки тому +22

      it was tucked away in the parts jenny couldn't read ....

  • @Starfighter-nk4mo
    @Starfighter-nk4mo 4 роки тому +2913

    I would pay an absurd amount of money to see Adam driver read this.

  • @hayleerodriguez2711
    @hayleerodriguez2711 5 років тому +483

    Dang they were right about the Sears being wiped out long ago. The old abandoned one at the mall turned into a movie theater last year

    • @Itscarlaann
      @Itscarlaann 5 років тому +17

      The one in my mall was turned into a whole foods 😂

    • @sbs3000
      @sbs3000 5 років тому +19

      "Let the chain stores die. Kill them, if you have to." -- Jass Baylar (maybe)

    • @aarishowton8037
      @aarishowton8037 5 років тому +1

      We have a Sears at my mall

  • @GrndAdmiralThrawn
    @GrndAdmiralThrawn 3 роки тому +932

    Ok, she talks about Cliff Notes, but early in the book it mentions Molotov cocktails, which are also named after a person. Russian foreign minister Molotov.

    • @carpengizmat5978
      @carpengizmat5978 2 роки тому +142

      Very true, though fun little fact I wanted to add for no reason at all: Molotov cocktails weren't actually invented by him. He invented cluster bombs called Molotov bread-baskets, and then when the Finnish(?) retaliated by creating petrol bombs to destroy the Russian tanks, they called them Molotov cocktails as a sort of "fuck you" to Molotov.

    • @mooney9046
      @mooney9046 2 роки тому +35

      @@carpengizmat5978 I Googled your info because I was curious if it was true. How fascinating. Thanks!

    • @mikaroni_and_cheez
      @mikaroni_and_cheez 2 роки тому +85

      Finland also canon in Black Moon Rising universe?!?!?

    • @yukii1730
      @yukii1730 2 роки тому +40

      @@mikaroni_and_cheez Well, we know Earth is canon, so it's safe to assume all nations are also canon, even if only in a historical sense.

    • @sarahthegreat929
      @sarahthegreat929 2 роки тому +10

      Yeah cause the space people originally came from earth weren’t you paying attention

  • @polymphus
    @polymphus 3 роки тому +3129

    I'm planning to write a Padme/Jass AU. I'm going to call it JASS, QUEEN

  • @MrMystery364
    @MrMystery364 5 років тому +1441

    I want a ten hour video of Jenny just talking about whatever she wants. I just wanna see where it goes.

    • @dubspool
      @dubspool 5 років тому +44

      Just 10 hours?

    • @adeer87
      @adeer87 5 років тому +9

      I’m ok with this idea.

    • @Wulfyric
      @Wulfyric 5 років тому +17

      That would be a wonderful adventure

    • @aarongittelman3182
      @aarongittelman3182 5 років тому +23

      She basically provides that on her patreon. Would recommend.

    • @Michoss9
      @Michoss9 5 років тому +59

      Hour 5: Thematic deconstruction & ascertainment of potential of a theme park ride attraction based on this Rainbow Dash / Boba Fett erotic fanfiction

  • @TaylorJordonGoodman
    @TaylorJordonGoodman 5 років тому +1355

    I feel like Jenny had already made a Kylo supercut, intense zoom-ins and dutch tilts and all, and the rest of the video is just 1 hour and 30 mins of excuses to show us.

    • @pokexchespin012302
      @pokexchespin012302 5 років тому +226

      Taylor Goodman the entire book was written by her as an excuse to show us

    • @VideosQueMeGustanenE
      @VideosQueMeGustanenE 5 років тому +44

      I agree with all of this.

    • @ZiggyWSB
      @ZiggyWSB 5 років тому +36

      As if Jenny needs excuses to do whatever she wants.

    • @Avi2Nyan
      @Avi2Nyan 4 роки тому +8

      I mean I'm glad she did, I don't mind looking at nice shots of Kylo Ren :')

  • @jamesmoseley5428
    @jamesmoseley5428 3 роки тому +819

    “Corruption poisons even the calmest waters” - calmness is generally not a way for water to avoid being poisoned. One must really think hard about using metaphors in writing. Metaphors are like precious diamonds except they’re pretty common, liquid and not very precious at all.

    • @amimm7776
      @amimm7776 3 роки тому +83

      You could say metaphors are like dirt, they're common and usually worthless, but dig deep enough amd you might find a diamond in the rough.
      How'd i do?

    • @MoDotS
      @MoDotS 2 роки тому +122

      it should've been "corruption poisons even the purest waters"

    • @Picking.a.name.is.hard1
      @Picking.a.name.is.hard1 2 роки тому +68

      "Corruption poisons even the calmest waters" sound like one of the quotes at the beginning of a Clone Wars episode 😂

    • @MoDotS
      @MoDotS 2 роки тому +6

      @@Picking.a.name.is.hard1 ha thank you

    • @casey_alexander
      @casey_alexander 2 роки тому +5

      That would be a simile though.

  • @casualsatanist
    @casualsatanist 4 роки тому +4793

    We can all read minds and move things using telekinesis, Jenny. We just can’t do it while you’re around

    • @J3Puffin
      @J3Puffin 3 роки тому +242

      Gaslighting on a societal scale :P

    • @brendareyes6914
      @brendareyes6914 3 роки тому +260

      Because she is a lense, a dark one

    • @soundskindagay2709
      @soundskindagay2709 3 роки тому +185

      @@brendareyes6914 no she's the storm, and the sea, and the sand...

    • @emememememememememe
      @emememememememememe 3 роки тому +76

      @@brendareyes6914 not through a lens, darkly

    • @RainWelsh
      @RainWelsh 2 роки тому +115

      God, now I want to have a kid just so I can raise them going “yes, I used to be able to use telekinesis, but sadly you nullify my powers so here we are.”

  • @annagrace8241
    @annagrace8241 5 років тому +1450

    Dude right around that "we're from the same planet" part, I got reallllll worried they were going to be siblings

    • @juggalo184
      @juggalo184 5 років тому +304

      Yeah right. Two orphans with special gifts who meeting randomly in the middle of a galactic war, and it turns out they're siblings? No one would use a plot twist that dumb.

    • @Allan_aka_RocKITEman
      @Allan_aka_RocKITEman 5 років тому +112

      @@juggalo184 >>> *_"NEVER GO FULL GEORGE LUCAS"_*
      😊😊😊😊

    • @andrearupe6035
      @andrearupe6035 5 років тому +16

      It was going there 😹😹

    • @blueskylark9965
      @blueskylark9965 5 років тому +19

      Same I was reaallllyyyy terrified...

    • @helensuperable
      @helensuperable 5 років тому +6

      That would have been unfortunate

  • @shinyskunk
    @shinyskunk 5 років тому +2118

    The fact that they call years "cycles" keeps making me think of America's Next Top Model. Like I imagine this takes place in a sci-fi universe ruled by Tyra Banks.

    • @Usernameping
      @Usernameping 5 років тому +209

      Honestly, I think a sci-fi universe ruled by Tyra Banks is the best concept I've heard for a novel in a long time.

    • @mynameisreallycool1
      @mynameisreallycool1 5 років тому +41

      Write a book

    • @josh-oo
      @josh-oo 5 років тому +59

      To be fair, that's a very common term for years in science fiction. It's short for "stellar cycle", which refers to the time it takes for the local star system to complete an orbit. Considering that most spacefaring sci-fi doesn't settle for interplanetary and usually goes interstellar, the usage still doesn't make sense, but I assume it's leftover from the early days of sci-fi. Y'know, back when visiting Mars or Jupiter was considered far enough, before we got bored with those stories and wanted to visit the star system down the street. But yeah, "cycle" is common in sci-fi. It ain't just this shitty story that does it. Most authors don't waste time trying to come up with something unique for it, 'cause they choose to focus on the story and characters.

    • @SukiTheHedgehog
      @SukiTheHedgehog 5 років тому +5

      I'd read that, it's be better than this lmao 😂

    • @skyhai3689
      @skyhai3689 5 років тому +42

      The true twist in episode 9 is going to be that the Emperor is a puppet being controlled by Tyra

  • @Alucard-A-La-Carte
    @Alucard-A-La-Carte Рік тому +822

    I will never forget the experience of seeing "The Last Jedi" in the theater and hearing a middle aged woman scream, "GodDAMN, young man!" at the shirtless Kylo Renn scene.

    • @bluefairy7653
      @bluefairy7653 Рік тому +29

      😂😂😂

    • @BlueMerStudios
      @BlueMerStudios 9 місяців тому +20

      That's amazing! I'm glad for her 😂

    • @os-qv4wl
      @os-qv4wl 6 місяців тому +2

      i will never forget the awkwardness between my family and me

  • @lionthefriebd3651
    @lionthefriebd3651 4 роки тому +1571

    wait okay. they have the term puberty, but not the term years??

    • @HarryandSlabs
      @HarryandSlabs 4 роки тому +16

      Knit picker.

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 4 роки тому +130

      And as someone above mentioned, Molotov Cocktails.

    • @ashikjaman1940
      @ashikjaman1940 3 роки тому +6

      Wait, only the 2 main characters are human right? So doesn't that mean everyone else has different puberty?

    • @YungGreyvy
      @YungGreyvy 3 роки тому +5

      They have the term MONTH but not year, I’m-

  • @Lucy-fn9rj
    @Lucy-fn9rj 5 років тому +1154

    the goodreads reviews are really funny because they're all either "i'm not really into sci-fi but i like the author so it read this and it's great!! the world is so creative!" or "this is just star wars but bad"

    • @ambiguoussarcasm
      @ambiguoussarcasm 4 роки тому +156

      “This is just Star Wars but bad” implies that Star Wars was good in the first place

    • @71.218-westshed
      @71.218-westshed 4 роки тому +46

      @@ambiguoussarcasm Especially the movie this book was based on.

    • @blokey8
      @blokey8 4 роки тому +61

      It does very much feel like someone wanted to put a romance novel in a Star Wars skin. The absence of action is kinda funny because it would be helpful to getting the hero and heroine to bond, but also because the one setpiece was the bit where Jenny seemed to perk up quite a lot.

    • @swimmyswim417
      @swimmyswim417 4 роки тому +50

      trequor I’d love to disagree, but I can’t. I feel like Star Wars peaked with the masterpiece that is the Star Wars Christmas Special.

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 4 роки тому +16

      @@swimmyswim417 only the first two movies are canon to me, A New Hope and the Holiday Special.

  • @ZaptheZombie
    @ZaptheZombie 5 років тому +918

    Wildly disappointed that when she said he was “packed with muscle” she didn’t show that picture of Kylo Ren shirtless with the really weird proportions

    • @ScotisticDad
      @ScotisticDad 4 роки тому +69

      BEN SWOLE-O

    • @persephone2706
      @persephone2706 4 роки тому +51

      Because it was saved for an even more appropriate line in the book... 1:02:16

  • @Olivia-pj9wy
    @Olivia-pj9wy 2 роки тому +352

    the pure instant joy of “SNAKES!!!!” made me so happy, I love snakes

  • @user-qv2qf1jk5o
    @user-qv2qf1jk5o 5 років тому +1188

    The vague descriptions of the sex scenes are the best part of this video...
    "I know I shouldn't want him, but every cell in my body screams otherwise, it... oh, maybe not"
    "This is NOT what the force is for you guys"

    • @helensuperable
      @helensuperable 5 років тому +17

      That's so true.

    • @mariesabine2385
      @mariesabine2385 5 років тому +166

      There's literally an AO3 tag for fanfic: "Inappropriate Use of the Force"

    • @aliciapearson3120
      @aliciapearson3120 5 років тому +68

      I think my fave was the 'My.... Nooo' and the obvious eye-flicker of 'Oh god I nearly read porn'

    • @left-2-write28
      @left-2-write28 5 років тому +8

      @@mariesabine2385 why does that not surprise me?

  • @JDirekt
    @JDirekt 5 років тому +488

    I would absolutely listen to an audiobook narrated by Jenny where she stops at places that are poorly written or confusing and she just laughs and goes "Wat"

    • @jonathanbeaudrie9070
      @jonathanbeaudrie9070 5 років тому +4

      Can we crowdsource this?

    • @huoshewu
      @huoshewu 5 років тому +3

      Isn't that exactly what this is? Maybe just find the worst books ever penned and send them to her.

  • @ashsweet
    @ashsweet 5 років тому +761

    jenny theres this Very Serious YA book called 'Wings' about a girl who finds out shes biologically a plant. She canonically photosynthesises and almost died one time when she went swimming in the ocean. She also has a human love interest which is wild. Its probably not crazy enough for a video but you might get a kick out of it.

    • @SkellaBella1396
      @SkellaBella1396 5 років тому +80

      I read this book and every time I think about it, several years apart each time mind you, I feel a little dead inside for a while before promptly forgetting about it again. (I think trolls were also after her btw)

    • @aarishowton8037
      @aarishowton8037 4 роки тому +34

      I absolutely, unironically love this book, as well as the sequels, idk what’s wrong with it lol

    • @JamieGamie
      @JamieGamie 4 роки тому +42

      @@aarishowton8037 me too! I read this so many times as a kid and unironically loved it. She was a fairy and had a cute science nerd boyfriend. Urban fantasy for middle schoolers

    • @Pansexual-Imp
      @Pansexual-Imp 4 роки тому +9

      Excuse me what

    • @stevekujo8716
      @stevekujo8716 4 роки тому +27

      At least its not hot pterodactyl boyfriend...

  • @frog.theorist
    @frog.theorist 3 роки тому +2587

    My brain is autocorrecting "Jass Beylar" to "Jeff Bezos" and it's making this even more of a wild experience

    • @GeneralCloudhopper
      @GeneralCloudhopper 3 роки тому +150

      Thanks for the inspiration for my new wattpad fanfiction

    • @an8strengthkobold360
      @an8strengthkobold360 3 роки тому +40

      Good to know I'm not the only one.

    • @gabrielleparker9367
      @gabrielleparker9367 3 роки тому +77

      CEO, mind barrier remover, Jaaaass, Jaaaas Baelar

    • @gabrielleparker9367
      @gabrielleparker9367 3 роки тому +7

      CEO, mind barrier remover, Jaaaass, Jaaaas Baelar

    • @TenderNoodle
      @TenderNoodle 2 роки тому +18

      I literally can’t hear or read that name without laughing, it’s an experience lmao

  • @melware1372
    @melware1372 4 роки тому +7306

    "Reysa" sounds like Jar Jar Binks trying to pronounce Rey's name

    • @ruthielalastor2209
      @ruthielalastor2209 4 роки тому +441

      Audiobook version read by Jar Jar Binks, please.

    • @Eltaurus
      @Eltaurus 4 роки тому +187

      I would guess it's just a combination of "Rey" and "Elsa".

    • @meltyninjers
      @meltyninjers 4 роки тому +25

      beat me to it by about three months

    • @KalashnikovPaouzzi
      @KalashnikovPaouzzi 4 роки тому +73

      Jar Jar is awesome, He brought down the republic and got away with it.

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 4 роки тому +81

      So what you're saying is that Jar-Jar wrote this fanfic?

  • @r.p.4756
    @r.p.4756 5 років тому +2384

    Yea! Another "Jenny reads a novel: the movie".

    • @userfriendly2737
      @userfriendly2737 5 років тому +66

      Trapped upon a fanfic with Jenny Nicholson.

    • @r.p.4756
      @r.p.4756 5 років тому +39

      @@userfriendly2737 watch out, there make be porgs.

    • @thesetwofloofs5397
      @thesetwofloofs5397 Рік тому +1

      @userfriendly2737 *in a fanfic

  • @walkingexistentaldread3079
    @walkingexistentaldread3079 3 роки тому +3728

    when she said “I wish someone called Kylo Ren a teenager like just one time” I immediately thought of that SNL skit where a Stormtrooper straight up says “Kylo Ren is a punk bitch!”

    • @elijah6169
      @elijah6169 3 роки тому +259

      On my god matt the radar technician

    • @viceroymarx406
      @viceroymarx406 3 роки тому +294

      "That guy looks like he weighs 30 pounds soaking wet underneath that little black dress"

    • @RainWelsh
      @RainWelsh 2 роки тому +132

      @@viceroymarx406 really? I hear he has an 8-pack. I hear he’s *shredded*

    • @CNWhatImSaiyan
      @CNWhatImSaiyan 2 роки тому +29

      Dude, Jass straight-up *SUCKS!*
      Amusingly, that very dude has been in multiple Star Wars projects since leaving SNL, most notably the VR game Tales from the Galaxy’s Edge.

    • @monicap8561
      @monicap8561 2 роки тому +27

      I thought of "you're just a kid" "well, you're just a teenager" from ATLA

  • @kdisley
    @kdisley Рік тому +222

    4:56 _"He really is beautiful... Murderer. Assassin. Puppet. He is all of these things, but he is so much more..."_ Thanks to that one line, I wasn't imagining the guy on the cover - for the rest of the book, I'm going to be thinking of a curly-haired Muppet in a Kylo Ren costume...

    • @spinecho609
      @spinecho609 11 місяців тому +10

      Puppet star wars protagonist when?!

    • @Souzu21
      @Souzu21 9 місяців тому +6

      My immediate image was of Billy the Puppet from the Saw franchise. It fits all of those things, and much of the description of Jass!

  • @PassTheMarmalade1957
    @PassTheMarmalade1957 5 років тому +473

    This book is 10% confusing political plot, 20% descriptions of the two main characters and their physical beauty, and 70% purple prose monologues about sweeping emotions and cosmic destiny.

    • @deffdefying4803
      @deffdefying4803 5 років тому +41

      and 100% garbage.

    • @illyann4669
      @illyann4669 5 років тому +14

      95%, the action scene at the end was good.

    • @alynch1517
      @alynch1517 5 років тому +11

      Just like Star Wars

    • @Just-in-Space
      @Just-in-Space 5 років тому +9

      3.5 percent talking about suicide in an awful way. It’s a power move. You been cornered by the tactic killing ones self. Your move

    • @Radien
      @Radien 5 років тому +6

      But how much of it is bad pr0n? I had assumed more than 5%.

  • @elinobenjamin_val
    @elinobenjamin_val 5 років тому +2426

    Jenny I'm really loving the content but these videos are getting a little too short for my taste :/

    • @kharnthecuddly3483
      @kharnthecuddly3483 5 років тому +1

      Elino Villegas yea... “short”

    • @SaraH-jn5db
      @SaraH-jn5db 5 років тому +169

      @@kharnthecuddly3483 r/woosh

    • @kharnthecuddly3483
      @kharnthecuddly3483 5 років тому +47

      Sara Grace do you want a hug. My name includes the word cuddly

    • @K1893
      @K1893 5 років тому +56

      I know! Just one hour and 47 minutes? What was she thinking! I expected at least a 12 hours video.

    • @CambieAngel
      @CambieAngel 5 років тому +15

      Ikr like wtf ive never seen a UA-camr with such short content

  • @Chipiliro613
    @Chipiliro613 5 років тому +498

    'This Is DEFINITELY Not A Published Reylo Fanfic Novel'
    *Almost two hours later*
    I trusted you Jenny.

  • @kylejohnson423
    @kylejohnson423 2 роки тому +151

    6:20 I love the idea that Vyacheslav Molotov somehow exists in this universe, and has been given the unfortunate nickname after the incendiary cluster bombing of space-finland

  • @mikebliss3153
    @mikebliss3153 5 років тому +1664

    Publishing thinly veiled sexually gratuitous fanfiction is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

    • @YTRingoster
      @YTRingoster 5 років тому +96

      Is it possible to learn these abilities?

    • @Mailed-Knight
      @Mailed-Knight 5 років тому +65

      @@YTRingoster Not from a bloke...

    • @TripletStudio
      @TripletStudio 5 років тому +10

      Mike Bliss this is my favorite comment

    • @feralchangeling97
      @feralchangeling97 5 років тому +55

      Have you heard the tragedy of Tara Gillespie?

    • @Mailed-Knight
      @Mailed-Knight 5 років тому +7

      @@feralchangeling97 No.

  • @hyacinthannah
    @hyacinthannah 5 років тому +1287

    the author is me in the seventh grade learning how to use literary devices for the first time

    • @noahkarpinski1824
      @noahkarpinski1824 5 років тому +26

      That sounds like me now when I make posts on Facebook

    • @katymoore4678
      @katymoore4678 5 років тому +9

      Did someone say sImILe?

    • @masterDarts4188
      @masterDarts4188 4 роки тому

      Yeah, but she did get the book published though....

  • @CarlSlime
    @CarlSlime 5 років тому +741

    I always love the set design on Jenny Nicholson productions.
    It's always just, "what plushes do I have in my closet that mirror the video topic today?"

    • @SamAronow
      @SamAronow 5 років тому +8

      So many predators!

    • @TheLikkittysplitt
      @TheLikkittysplitt 5 років тому +5

      I'm 100% sure its just what she has on her bed

  • @vurrunna
    @vurrunna 3 роки тому +376

    8:16 "It was like any other day... Until it wasn't."
    I just... I can't. This line broke me. I have no idea how Jenny managed to read that with a straight face. Holy crap.

  • @alaynestone6438
    @alaynestone6438 5 років тому +1732

    There are no more Sears, fool. They were wiped out cycles ago. The galaxy's free of such nonsense now. Now we shop at Macy's.

    • @savvic8100
      @savvic8100 4 роки тому +20

      no more Macy’s all malls and retail shops are closed in the galaxy, but hey that’s intergalactic capitalism for you

    • @ALRinaldi
      @ALRinaldi 4 роки тому +13

      But in the European cut, it is JC Penny’s.

    • @Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet
      @Legendary_Detective-Wobbuffet 4 роки тому +1

      As a Macy's employee, yay. We need customers.

  • @GeminiGamingSK
    @GeminiGamingSK 5 років тому +231

    From the lack of a shirt in that clothing description, my mental image of Jass is a shirtless Adam Driver with a black cape tied around his neck.

  • @Chainsawkoneko
    @Chainsawkoneko 5 років тому +848

    "You are like a lense, the kind if lense the optometrists uses when testing only one eye. The kind that blocks our visions so we can only see the big E with our non dominate eye"

    • @secretname3897
      @secretname3897 5 років тому +19

      Speaking of eyes, how do I stop having seen this quote

    • @falseworldtruehearts3740
      @falseworldtruehearts3740 5 років тому +6

      Chainsawkoneko What does that MEAN?😂😂XD

    • @ciceroxnightmother2588
      @ciceroxnightmother2588 5 років тому +22

      “Except now, the words detailing your fate are just a tad too small and I can’t make out the letters.”

    • @gum8191
      @gum8191 5 років тому

      Lmao

  • @davidtaylor142
    @davidtaylor142 3 роки тому +703

    I like how any attempt to make something derivative of Star Wars goes full circle and just feels like a Dune rip-off.

    • @geoffreysorkin5774
      @geoffreysorkin5774 2 роки тому +63

      Well, considering Star Wars is a Dune fanfiction mixed with a plot stolen from Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress, isn't that inevitable?

    • @davidtaylor142
      @davidtaylor142 2 роки тому +93

      @@geoffreysorkin5774 that's what I meant by full circle, yes

    • @yossarian00
      @yossarian00 Рік тому +28

      Everything goes back to Dune in the end

    • @soundskindagay2709
      @soundskindagay2709 Рік тому +18

      It was dune all along 😱

    • @diarya5573
      @diarya5573 Рік тому +17

      The dune will bury us all with it's coarse sand

  • @xenotundra3346
    @xenotundra3346 4 роки тому +980

    We gonna mention that the people from a desert planet with multiple suns use both an eclipse and an ocean metaphor?

    • @GrndAdmiralThrawn
      @GrndAdmiralThrawn 3 роки тому +81

      Also, the only way a planet would have two suns is if it was a binary star system, in which the suns orbit each other. So, from the perspective of the planet, it’s possible for one sun to eclipse the other, when the planet and suns align in a straight line.

    • @thewraithwriter22
      @thewraithwriter22 Рік тому +23

      They've probably seen, like, a picture of an ocean. Maybe

    • @cardthrow18
      @cardthrow18 Рік тому +5

      This is the best comment

    • @ShiveringEroticKingBanana
      @ShiveringEroticKingBanana 6 місяців тому

      Deserts can be by oceans.

  • @westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006
    @westvirginiaglutenfreepepp7006 5 років тому +528

    I see a black moon risin'
    I see trouble on the way
    I hear hurricanes and lightning
    I see bad turns of phrase
    Don't go round tonight
    A black lens obscures the light
    There's a fan fic on the rise

    • @justatinyhalfling
      @justatinyhalfling 5 років тому +33

      I sang this and I don't regret it.

    • @Caroline-hw9yw
      @Caroline-hw9yw 5 років тому +19

      This was clever and it made me laugh. Thank you.

    • @AO1hasyoutube
      @AO1hasyoutube 5 років тому +5

      🌚

    • @Radien
      @Radien 5 років тому +5

      You, my friend, have created comedy gold. 👍🏻

    • @DropLikeAPheasant
      @DropLikeAPheasant 5 років тому

      I sung this to the tune of "Run through the Jungle" by CCR

  • @KentBliven
    @KentBliven 5 років тому +495

    Jenny's latest video : Longer than "A Christmas Prince", shorter than "Tomorrowland".

  • @emmajoy3864
    @emmajoy3864 3 роки тому +136

    me: yknow it may actually be a clever move to say that Earth is unrecognizable at this point because of how much time has passed, what with the "blood sun" thing-which could be in reference to the way the sun may appear in an altered atmosphere further down the line-and humans having perhaps evolved somehow-
    this book: this planet where they're landing doesn't have gravity
    me: maybe i shouldn't waste my critical thinking on this.

  • @Number9Robotic
    @Number9Robotic 5 років тому +757

    I appreciate how you left the naughty bits simply as "This is not what The Force is for, you guys." Just the possibilities...

    • @eadlynjune
      @eadlynjune 5 років тому +83

      Nines The best part is you know in Star Wars cannon people have done freaky shit with the Force. Like there’s almost no doubt.

    • @tuuudes3449
      @tuuudes3449 5 років тому +125

      @@eadlynjune So that's why the Jedi have such strict rules about forming attachments to people. There must have been so many killed in freak force sex accidents...

    • @thelexicon7294
      @thelexicon7294 5 років тому +53

      @@tuuudes3449 So THAT'S why Anakin looked to be in so much anguish and discomfort the whole time Padme was denying him. I can only imagine the force shenanigans HE had in mind.

    • @KetsubanSolo
      @KetsubanSolo 5 років тому +8

      @@thelexicon7294 "You haven't changed a bit. You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams."

    • @CapnJigglypuff
      @CapnJigglypuff 5 років тому +2

      That's not how the Force works!

  • @rcamo
    @rcamo 5 років тому +163

    "I feel like snakes are the only constant in my life and you have to celebrate the little things."
    So deep, thank you Jenny

  • @madeofmeats
    @madeofmeats 5 років тому +1025

    I’m at Disney world rn and I keep looking out for you, since I assume you live here

    • @jackdanielsinthelionsden1887
      @jackdanielsinthelionsden1887 5 років тому +186

      She lives behind one of the ice cream stands near space mountain,
      saw her hunched over eating a discarded bag of Froot Loops last time I went.
      I asked for an autograph but two feral cats jumped out and attacked me.
      I don't know her relations to the cats but I'm certain about her relations to the raccoons.

    • @madeofmeats
      @madeofmeats 5 років тому +36

      Jack Daniel's in the lion's den that mental image is hilarious, thank you

    • @badwolfgermandalek
      @badwolfgermandalek 5 років тому +46

      @@jackdanielsinthelionsden1887 I hope you didn't get the cat flu

    • @badwolfgermandalek
      @badwolfgermandalek 5 років тому +17

      It's going around I heard

    • @Chipiliro613
      @Chipiliro613 5 років тому +23

      She's standing behind you.
      *Always behind*

  • @ocdgirl115
    @ocdgirl115 2 роки тому +128

    I think what's so funny is that one of the best selling romance novels of 2021 was The Love Hypothesis, which is Reylo fanfic. Like not even hiding it. To be fair it is an AU so all she lifted was the likeness of the actors and some vague characteristics of the characters, but you look at the cover and you're like yup that is indeed an illustrated version of Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley.

    • @polak97
      @polak97 5 місяців тому +1

      Omg how did I not realise when I read it 😭

    • @cthulhuhoops
      @cthulhuhoops 5 місяців тому +2

      ​@@polak97because it's a good story! Reylo writers are very talented, hard working, devoted members of their craft. The fact you couldn't tell in an AU rewrite doesn't surprise me (it IS an AU), and the art on the cover (also done by an artist who draws Reylo) isn't more on sight than two dark haired people.
      Honestly I think the sooner fandom-aware people accept that there are some truly talented and creative people who liked Reylo, the better off they'd be.